i say good job. >> that's it for us on "the five." thanks for watching. see you back here tomorrow. "special report" with bret baier "special report" with bret baier welcome to "red eye." it is like toddlers and tierras if by toddlers you mean me and bill hemmer every day after the help goes home. andy levy is recover frght scratching post accident. he appreciates your cards and letters this evening. filling in is fox business network and america's baby-sitter, liz mcdonald. she has our pre game report. >> thanks, greg. were the founding fathers dangerous extremists? some say no, but jonathon hunt says yes. stupid brit. and whose behavior at the video music awards was worse, miley cyrus or robin thicke? it is the most important question of the year.

and why has the cost of college education risen more than 500% since 1985? we will let people who do not understand economics give their opinion and then later i will explain why they are wrong. greg? >> that's why you are here, liz. >> delighted to be with you. >> see you in a bit. let's welcome our guests. she is so sharp she sleeps on a dart board. it is a first-time guest, washington freebie con reporter allison barber, number 23. you have a pen in your ear. if hilarity was a cross-word puzzle i would do him in my pajamas while siping an espresso, comedian tom cotter and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he is so british his stiff upper live has a stiff upper live and they own a cottage near the palace guardment jonathon hunt, with "studio b"

because it is not studio a, tough beans. >> a block, the lede. that's the first story. i don't know where you end and i begin, greg. >> so true. robin thicke's mom dropped a bomb. she commented on her son's raunchy performance with miley cyrus at the mtv music awards on sunday. which means it is time for -- the former mrs. allen thicke says, quote, i don't understand what milely cyrus is trying to do. this is exactly what she said, jonathon. i think she is miss beet gotten in this -- she is miss be gotten in her point. it was almost over the top to be a parody of itself. not to the out publicized billy ray cyrus who claims to

be her father defended his daughter in the same rag saying, quote, she is still my little girl and i'm still her dad regardless how this circus we call show business plays out. he said that while holding a ferret between his nay -- naked butt cheeks. you know who else would do anything for attention? >> let's get the kitty cats. where are them kitty cats? where are them kitty cats? where are them kitty cats? oh, where are them kitty cats? okay, okay. okay. okay. >> that is a stupid dog. >> you totally missed jonathon hunt's snarking from that video. >> i love pugs. they are excellent grilled. >> i will go to you first, allison. gloria, the mother, didn't seem to acknowledge the fact that it was her son that miley was perverting with.

that's a new verb by the way. she was perverting with him. it is like caw voterring, but in a perverted way. >> i am not really that offended by miley cyrus' dance routine which may something negative about my morals, but if we are going to criticize miley cyrus you have to talk about the fact that robin thicke is like 36? he definitely knew what the dance routine was and was in the proper spot. if we will criticize, we have to criticize -- if we will criticize her we have to criticize him for being a lot older and letting her dns on him. he is the one that is married and has a child. >> wait, he is 36 and she is 20. that's 16 years. i'm 48 and my wife is 32. that's 16. >> well what you are doing is criminal. we don't like to talk about it, but -- >> have you been married 20 years, right? >> no, that's not true, jonathon. >> it is one of those things we dance around. >> how old is your wife?

>> a lot younger than yours. >> bravo. >> how do you live with yourselves? >> how old are you 1234 you are my age. >> i might be close to your age. >> and your wife is about five years younger than might my wife. >> she might be 28. >> that's gist despicable. that's despicable. >> you are my hero. >> i respect that. that's impressive. i am just saying on the stage -- >> neither of our wives twerk. >> welcome to the show. how old is your wife? >> six years younger than i. >> that seems healthy. >> it seems much more reasonable. it is much more moral and much more ethical. >> on the flip side, a lot more boring. >> well, my wife, hello. she doesn't twerk. first of all, did you notice that robin thicke was wearing a prison uniform?

i don't get the tongue thing when she was doing that. i think billy ray must have mated with a lizard and then she comes out of the bear and can barely perform and is barely clothed. it was unbearable. >> a little word play which would have worked in a blog. >> here we are on tv. >> i am still aroused by the whole wife thing. >> bill, as a known loser are there any actual winners in all of this? >> there are -- there is is one winner, miley cyrus. we are talking about her day two. this is great. for those who say she sex ploiting her sexuality there is no back up to what she i doing she answered with a tweet today. can we roll the picture? look at that, greg. that is her taping had her new video called "23" and apparently she is supposed to be in a boy's locker room and how dare you, america, saying

anything about her. hash tag butt. >> hash tag, shut up. >> she is not exploiting her sexuality. she is exploiting her youth. the fact is and i said this earlier, if you are 20 and hot, that is no achievement. everybody at 20 -- i hate to say it, but it is when you look your best. basically she keeps taking selfies of herself when it is easy to look like that. you might as well -- it is like what's his name? the quarterback that was taking pictures of his poop. it is like, so what? that's what you can do. wow, good job. >> i am getting to where we should say allegedly. >> i want to move on. allison, you were not bothered? it didn't bother you? >> no. i think i am just apathetic toward it. >> i think everybody needs to relax as well. i mean, really? the only thing she was bad at doing was bad at being -- she

was good at being bad. >> she had no rhythm and a lot of people were watching the mtv-vma's which i find strange to begin with, but it doesn't matter. >> young kids watching that. >> they are watching mtv. >> but that's their demographic. >> no way. i. >> you were saying it bothered you that she was so old doing it. >> she is not as good as lady gaga. >> they are all trying to be ma done you that. no publicity is bad publicity. >> but madonna is still trying to be madonna. what would you rather look like? >> wasn't ma done pho -- madonna the highest earning celebrity? forbes just uh -- just announced it. >> i think it was annette beatty. joy actually it is more of an achievement madonna being madonna because she is in better shape at the age of 55. it is no big deal if miley

cyrus at 20 has a great body. everybody does. that's what i am saying. madonna you should say good for you even though it does gross you out. i >>- q. you never saw me at age -- >> you never saw me at age 20. >> no, i did. >> remember you did that art film. >> oh there was that. >> from nude to food, they are unhappy because the lunch tastes crappy. some kentucky students, they have them there, have given their review of the michelle obama-backed healthy lunch initiative. they say it makes them want to puke. parents in harlan county relayed the message complaining their kids aren't getting enough to eat and hate the food they are getting. a parent reportedly shouted "kids can't learn when they are hungry" and a board member said of the school milk, it tastes like vomit. to be fair, the milk was labeled vomit milk. the usda regulates the content of the lunchs and the sizes of the portions. children can eat all of the veg veg -- veggies and fruits

they want. here is a second grader enjoying a strawberry. >> see what happens when you don't feed them at school? they eat at home usually in a forest. tom, it is hard to believe, isn't it, that a one size fits all program isn't working. just say yes. >> yes, it absolutely is. these meals are free so shut up and eat. that's what i say to the parasites. and this is rural kentucky so i'm shocked they even have schools. and second of all, when the kids are fatter than the lunch ladies, you have a national crisis. that's where we are now. that's why i am siding with michelle obama on this. they don't like the brown bread because they are racist this is a place where possum and moonshine are two major food groups and they are complaining about the food. >> i love kentucky. i spent time in kentucky and

they are wonderful people. >> and i find new york to be a feet. you're welcome. >> a bunch of elitist left wing snobs. jonathon, it is pretty obvious and you were saying this in the green room that michelle obama should be impeached. i explained that she can't be em peach -- impeached, the president can. but did you say the president should be impeached to get her out of the white house? >> no, he is lying. i am with tom on this. if these educators now give in, they are doing whatever a parent does around the dinner table, eat your vegetables and eat your whole wheat and then you get in. what are we paying the teachers for if they can't teachers and the lessonners we can't bother to. >> does that make sense? we are ab do indicating the lessons to the schools. it is not our job to teachers and the brats how to eat.

>> i agree. i don't think that is the school's responsibility. i think that is something ?ag should be happening at the home. i will say the argument that the food is bad is a moot point. i feel that all school food is bad. that's the way it is going to be. what i think is a serious issue is the calorie cap. if you do what people say we play sports after school and this is not enough food. i think that is a real issue and focusing on oh this food tastes bad and that takes away from a real issue that is a fair point to make. >> there is a calorie cap, but you can eat all of the fruits and veg -- vegetables are not food. when you are hungry you don't say, i really could go for broccoli or a fig. it doesn't happen. you say i want a burger or a hot dog which is actually real food. there is nothing real about a fruit and a vegetable. it was there at the beginning and we saw animals and we thought, oh that stuff is

real. >> people love apples. >> apples are close to being food. >> well that counts. >> do they play sports in kentucky? >> the uk basketball team. >> why are we so offensive to kentucky? >> stop with the kentucky bashing. bill, you exist on a diet of sprigs and an occasional pebble, so you must be jealous these kids get any food at all. >> i am. i am still confused as to how this is a giant failure. we had three kentucky brats wining. they still have their chocolate milk and strawberry milk. it is just now non-fat. we hate kids and we never listen to anything they say unless they are bashing michelle obama. make fun at this first lady at your own peril. it is a good program and america likes the first lady. this is not a route the american public wants to go. >> don't make fun of somebody

because they are popular. >> this is a great program. these kids are fat and they are going to dry our wallets dry. the parents aren't doing it so they may as well be healthy in school. >> the reason the lunch is a problem is it is going to function as an extra option. it is along with whatever else they buy. it happens when you buy an electric car. you buy an electric car as a second car or a third car, but not the primary car. this diet is not a is up plaw men tree diet. >> this is how america used to eat. they are representing something in the food triangle rather than something that looks like teflon. >> unless they are going to take the snack machines out of the schools. >> i was recently in high school. we had a ton of soda machines. >> don't say that. >> they are both drooling.

>> we are all the way around the same time. >> easy, easy. >> how recently was your wife in high school? >> he can't answer that for a lot of reasons. >> winner, winner. >> from flounder to founder, they call the white guy on the dollar. they think george washington and the rest are dangerous and a guy titled extremism and put out by the department of defense, whatever that is. the founding fathers' effort to free the colony from the british is offered as an example of an extremist ideology. they warn that now a days many will talk of individual liberties states rights and how to make the world a better place. terrible. when asked about this, a spokesman said we are not saying it is a bad thing, but we want to get to the british government. if you follow the term they fit the definition of extremist. sure. speaking of rebellions, lets satisfy go live to andy levy's apart meant.

>> no wonder he didn't show up for work. >> calling the founding fathers extremists, isn't that a way to make extremists seem acceptable? that's what they are trying to say, correct? >> maybe. as soon as i heard that i thought, what does it matter at this point? i don't think anyone would care if they were extremists back then. that's not something that resonates. my issue is the data. i think a lot of what southern poverty law center does which i am not necessarily saying they are -- that their cat gore ration of hate groups is wrong, but they use many factors to determine what shat group. >> determine is that group. they have to look at concrete data and historically and statistically the largest amount of terror tacks were in the 70s 70s and by left wing

groups. you have to look at what is extreme and focus on both sides. >> you are too smart. >> no she is not. >> you know, i'm british. of course they are extremist. of course they are extremist. >> what did we ever do wrong? what did we do to you people? honestly, i actually thought this was an interesting document. it was a good read. it was one of those that would spark debate. this was one sentence in there and i think people are making much a do about nothing. >> that's what the original title, much a do about nothing. >> i was kidding. >> let me ask -- >> you are such a weird owe. tom, do you buy this nutiness? >> i do not. they were extreme in a sense they were powered with wigs, but but -- and i'm sorry about the tea party. that was extreme.

>> that was rude. >> i apologize for that. you know, the one line that killed me in this was the army training instructor lumped catholicism and evangelical christians with al-qaeda and hamas in the same group. i'm like, the pope is not a terrorist. mother theresa is not a terrorist. i just don't know where they got off on that. >> bill must disagree with you. >> no. mother theresa was not a terrorist, but she was fierce. girlfriend had it going on. >> let me ask you, they were extremists and then you will probably go out and burn a flag. >> i am related to one of those extremists. i am related to one of the lesser known founding fathers that kills many a brit. of course they were. the only reason -- >> why would you apologize? >> for killing a brit, i don't apologize. >> back then -- >> no, i am i am not apologizing for that. >> they were military loving weird owes and the only reason they were called that today is they won.

sometimes being an extremist, and sometimes it is a good thing and sometimes it isn't. there were shared values that every small group has. sometimes it is a good thing like in the case of our independence. sometimes it is not. but this is much a do about nothing. i believe an american first said that. >> all right. my theory is it is another example of relativism, making us all extremists so they look less extreme. but that is just my opinion. >> if you use an american term it is poppycock. coming up, should crumpets be allowed to marry? his latest book my war against crumpets. and is college too much of a drag?

must you live on grool to pay for your school? the cost of a college education has risen 500% since 1985. to put that into perspective that is 501%. a chart from bloomburg news shows it is up 538% compared with much smaller increases in medical costs. and the consumer price index, my favorite index. one expert says the sky rocketing increases make income equality worse by depriving poor americans of the education they need to get ahead. the cost is rising for a mess of reasons including ballooning pay for greedy school administrators and pointless professors. we asked typical college students for their reaction.

>> you know, i left them at 11:00 this morning and they were still going strong. it is uncredible, you know? it is amazing. how could it go up five times? houses have gone up. but, i mean, gas has gone up, but five times? >> i do not know. i don't know why i got this question. i don't know, it is sad. i realize what you are paying for now is a title and a school to go to which is education. i think grade school to college is something that needs to be worked on and the rising prices are another exam -- example of that. >> if that's the case why spend so much on emerson? what were they thinking? >> if you go to college at emerson that's what you come out as? what was i thinking?

>> clearly you weren't. >> jonathon isn't this what happens when it is easy to get a loan? the housing bubble burst because of the mortgages being given to palm who can afford it. now you have people who are getting loans and the colleges see that and go, we can raise our prices. >> but i think the colleges are making a big mistake. they may be on the path -- i liken this to the cable tv industry. the cable tv providers. they are raising prices to falling numbers and in the process they are strangling their own business. it is not necessary to go to college. i think it is damaging for all of us. young people need college. if they don't go there, where the heck else are they going to drink their liquor and hold it. >> they can go to england. >> they could just go to england. >> which is one big college. >> it is a $1500 flight to go there and you live on the streets and beg and you save a lot of money. >> and you come out on the other end as bill schulz.

>> he came out of one end, that's for sure. tom, do you think that college is a sham for untalented low lives we call professors? >> present company excluded i went to columbia. i worked for a drug cartel there and i was able to afford it then. my college loan officer calls me every week and complements me. he says my balance is outstanding. now kds are going on-line to save money. community colleges on-line and i am getting my mba on-line. did will be perfect. you have to cut cornerses. college for me was a par 4 and i double bogeyed it and it is expense tiff -- expensive to this day. >> bill, president obama proposed that federal financial aid be tied to a new government ranking of college costs and outcomes. he proposed you shoot yourself in the face. i was surprised he included that as well. >> there is a theme here. it seems he will bring through a legislation and then at the end he will threaten me. i don't know how you are allowed to do is that.

boy the way, you failed your last book report and i am not asian. everyone is colluding in this. it is not just the collegeses. it is the businesses and it is no matter how good they will be for the job otherwise. it was goodwill hunting who said you can get the same type of education with a $150 fine from extended library books in assisted of the college education. >> i never saw "goodwill hunting." >> delightful. >> i hate robin williams. >> it is not your fault, jonathon. it is not your fault. >> i have no idea what he was doing there. college should only be two years long. that's it. that's all you need. >> it is for -- of the four years you aren't doing anything so make it two years?

>> i did not learn how to maintain on acid while in middle eastern studies until my junior year. >> that is good to know for the schulz family at home. >> why do you do what you do when you did what you did to me. it is not another story. steve dues see left me. think of your family. was this the worst answer in the history of answers? if you have never seen "red eye" i suppose, yes.

that's when she graduated from high school? >> she doesn't want us to talk about how old she is. >> guys, guys, come on. >> oh my goodness. his taunt came back to haunt. new york city police say that since a federal judge ruled last week that the stop and frisk program was being applied unconstitutionally criminals have been openly jeering at the police. the whole thing backfired who cops say saw them approaching and shouted, you can't stop me. you can't do that no more. there are new rules. he took off running during which a loaded revolver fell out of his pocket. this lead to the upstanding citizen being arrested. his third weapons bust in the past three years. clearly a discussion must be had in this thing. >> lightning rooooouuunnnndd.

lightning round. >> now we have criminals openly tawpting -- taunting the police. that can't be good. >> probably not. but what are the odds that -- i just now thought of this, but what are the odds he yells and then trips and there is a reporter nearby to catch it? >> that's a really good question. >> i like it. no, i'm fine with stoping and frisking as long as there is a reasonable expectation or something in between. i don't care for the policy, but if this is happening it is to -- it is not ideal to say the least. i can't feel it is happening that frequent. i can't believe that many people are taunting cops. that alone is reasonable suspicion. >> are you making me wonder if it happened, period. that's the ridiculous thing in the story it happened and there were three examples.

on every one of those occasions they were frisked anyway. yes there is a little police wining. i love you nypd and i will not be walking out of the studio in 10 minutes. >> by the way, they think it is 3:00 in the morning so don't worry about it. i don't care if this story was manufactured to talk about the plight of the end of stop and frisk. i believe stop and frisk is a bad, bad thing. >> i concur. >> it wasn't a question. >> the wife and i, the wife much older than your wife, we play stop and frisk all the time. we like it and frisking makes us frisky and we don't want it to stop. here is the thing, chicago has a horrible crime right now, a violent crime rate. they don't have stop and frisk. the same people applauding this being the end of stop and frisk, the same ones wining we are not doing enough to end black on black crime and gang violence because those are the targets. they are not stoping and frisking the amish and the

elderly and asian women. >> clearly. >> nobody talks about white on white crime. you do that to me every night. >> that's because nobody pays attention to white on white crime. they actually do it in front of the police and they don't care. bill, you approach cops asking to be frisked and they won't do it unless they are in hazmat suits. >> i always wear sweatpants to no avail. jonathon is right. every one of these guys end ed ended up stoping and frisking them and they exposed the fly in the ointment. all he had to do was say i was in fear of my safety. okay, how does this change anything? they will go to that every time. the guy looks at something wrong. i was in fear of my safety. he was baying twinkie and he may sl pelted -- he may have pelted it at me. >> i love you invented the phrase, a fly in the

ointment. >> a flaw is a boston fly. >> and bill has a hard twinkie too. >> to your point, they are painting stop and frisk as racist when in fact they are going into communities where there is crime and minorities and there are minorities in the community and minority suspects. that's not racist. it is helping the community. but you can't get around the argument as long as you have people shouting it is racist. >> it is not racist. it is unconstitutional. if you are walking around and minding your own and this guy wants to bug you for whatever reason whatsoever, the law assumes that all cops are incorruptible. cops are great people. you can't say that about all of them. >> corruption is endemic -- not endemic, but it is part of everything. >> that's why we have the constitution. >> but we don't use that anymore. >> i think this article is an example that stop and frisk hasn't ended. but i do not think there is a problem with implementing a policy where you have a reasonable -- perhaps more reasonable than the one we have set as your example of

the hard twinkie. >> third reference. >> it shows you can still have -- it is not an absurd standard to say you need more reason to search someone. you can still stop and frisk them. they are not eliminating the policy. >> on that note i am outnumbered once again. time to take a break. more stuff when we come back. "the joy of hate" amazon.com, autographed copy. it is a beautiful book with a lovely ending. i would buy 16 if i were you, 16 i say.

welcome back to "red eye." it started so well. every hair was in place and the make up was perfect. the audience was receptive and warm. enough about my midnight rendezvous. let's go instead to this mind blowing question and answer at the miss philippines usa contest. >> what do you prefer to have

if you could only have one and why? would you like me to repeat? >> if i have to pick out of five senses i would pick seeing because seeing is the sense that we can never see because seeing is believing. and believing is what you see is perfect. oh out of all of the senses seeing was really -- would be wonderful because -- thank you. that will be it. >> i actually totally understood that. have you ever done pageants? >> no. >> you have to feel for this young woman though. these types of questions they are not prepared for. do you know the five senses? i don't think i do. >> i do. >> what? >> i hope so, sight, hearing,

taste, smell, touch. phew. >> twerking. >> twerking is the main one. >> how do you feel about her response? >> i feel bad because it is a high pressure situation and i don't think english is her main language. i wouldn't have kept sight. that is the veinest sense you could pick. it is tough. this wasn't her first language. >> if she had stopped at seeing is believing she would have won. >> it was a perfect answer. >> seeing is believing. that's philosophical. it is amazing. tom, what were the thoughts on her answer and try not to get us in trouble. >> again. first of all this is your fears time on the show and you could have done pageants. you were in a high pressure situation. you have done well. who is miss south carolina a few years ago who had the other brain fart? this is good because they are dispelling stereo types.

she is not a blonde. and so much for asians being the smartest on the christmas tree or whatever. >> you are awful. >> i really am. >> i said don't ge trouble. >> you wint -- you went in the opposite direction. >> i disown tom's previous comment. where am i? what sense would you keep? >> smell. i like the way you smell right now. it is a nice bouquet. >> did you hear that? even me. >> he is between me and bill. >> i don't know. i don't know about that. >> it smells like spotted dickens sorrow. >> as a journalist you have had have pretty bizarre answers to questions before. is this anything surprising to you? >> beauty pageant? no. they are all as dumb as a box of rocks. >> are you kidding me? >> by the way, you will get an e-mail from one or two people

that work here. >> brenda carlson is fuming right now. >> we hire beauty pagent contestants? clearly not. >> we have winners here. >> steve due see, are you kidding me? >> i would do without one sense and that would be hearing so i never have to listen to any of them again. >> grumpy jonathon, that's my new name for you. grumpy jonathon sexist hunt. that's what i would call you. bill, your senses are dulled to the point of semiconsciousness. >> that girl said they repeat the question to buy them some time. so greg my senses are dulled to the point of not being useful and then i can barely and then you were saying something else. >> wow. anyway i am always sympathetic to people in these situations. how many times -- i have been on tv shows that i do for a living and have nothing to say. >> you have never in your life

said anything remotely stupid. >> i must say doing two hours of tv i must say at least six things i wish i hadn't said. >> have you said one this hour? >> -- [bleep]. do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at fox news.com. and do you have a video of your animal doing something? we will bleep that by the way. that won't even show up. it will be in edit. go to fox news.com/red eye and click on submit a video. we might use it. we are doing so well too. no edit. coming up, the post game report with liz macdonald.

-- all right, oh look at that. coming up tomorrow we are joined by the great actor robert davi on the left and the delightfully funny and brutally genius kennedy. brew you tally genius. time to go back to liz macdonald for the post game report. hi, liz. >> good to be with you, greg.

i want to take it to bill on the miley cyrus story. you said miley cyrus tweeted a picture of her in white leggings with a black g-string and you said it was hash tag butt. it is actually hash tag owe! and then greg, you got in a discussion about how everybody looks good at age 20 and then jonathon says that, well, you never saw me at age 20. jonathon, we did the math. when you were age 20 your wife was 8. >> you did the math wrong. she was actually 7. >> you didn't marry her until you were 23. >> let's move it along. jonathon said everybody should relax. milely was good at being bad at being good. i lost you. you were speaking british clingon or triple negatives. what did you say? >> she was trying to channel the inner madonna and she wasn't very good. lady gaga has a better butt.

>> everything gave me a headache. i still don't understand why miley cyrus came out with catch up -- ketchup cups on her head. let's turn to the defense story about the founding fathers were terrorists and the munn stree of -- the ministry of whitewash continues. bill, you talked about how this is much a do about nothing. shakespear actually said that. news flash, the founding fathers were military loving weird owes. let me put it to you this way. was brian williams at nbc early when he said in 2005 to andrea mitchell that the founding fathers were terrorists when he was talking about the islamic revolution. nbc is in front of this story about the founding fathers being terrorists. what do you think of that? >> they do lean forward. >> it is a lot like bill. >> tom cotter made a good

point how they were mixing catholicism with hamas. good point there. you said it does not resonate. matt lauer said to lynn cheney that the founding fathers were terrorists. >> wow. if matt lauer said. it i have no case. my position has been de bunked. >> no, you made good points about the 70s having left wing groups. >> my issue was they did focus a lot on present day, on right wing extremists and not wanting them in the military. and my point is you have it on both sides. >> even though the biggest killers in history have been secular governments or naziism. moving again at a scorching pace, back to ellie on stop and frisk. what are the odds a reporter will be standing there when a criminal has a gun in his pocket and falls out in front of a reporter, well we get

into the math and in east new york where this happens, 50/50 odds. >> you are a you mazing. you are amazing. greg you asked bill about frisking. frisking bill? was that the question? >> i think so. >> tom, the comedian has a good point about how this works in chicago. a cop in chicago says he doesn't like frisking because frisking is disgusting. there are a lot of dirty people out there. he is worried about getting sick. what do you think about that? >> i think he has to put on rubber gloves and a mask and do their job. >> cops have a tough job. >> yes. my uncle was injured in the line of duty. he gaged on a donut. >> terrible, a donut joke about a cop. what is it about comedians and donuts and cops? >> let's segue about what went

on in kentucky how they -- how the children's meals are donuts. somebody brought up that half of the meals are free is they are near the poverty line. greg, you question whether fruits and vegetables are even food. >> yes. >> are blue ice pops food to you? >> definitely. i like anything that employs a juice and is frozen and can be kept in the frige for five or six years. >> is cheese whiz a food group? >> yes jie. is a fremp fry a very long table? >> no. it is a starchy piece of deliciousness. >> tomato a vegetable? >> ketchup is. >> who said fruit? >> tomato is a fruit. >> good answer. >> i hate when greg eats the blue ice pops. it is like making out with a smurf. >> well we see that in the hallway a lot. i always wonder what you are doing in the front of the building. smoking or eating blue ice

pops. let's move along. now to the beauty pageant. tom you said to ellie that, you know what, you could have done pageants, but i am not hitting on you. and then you said this is a highly -- you would do well in a highly situation, buts i am not hitting on you. tom, you were hitting on her. >> kind of hitting. >> disgusting being a married man. we are on tv at 3:00 a.m. and your wife could turn on the show and see what you are doing. >> my wife is watching "sesame street" at that hour. >> tom as they said these comments to ellie you said what sense of smell would you like to -- what sense would you like to keep and you said smell. and then you turned to ellie so you are hitting on her. >> i got the okay from bill. >> that was a very astute observation. >> elly, do you feel he was

hitting on you? >> i feel great about it either way so it is fine. >> and bill, i have a question for you, which of your senses would you like to lose? >> what is the one where you see dead people? i don't like that one. they are horrifying. they usually look the way they died. >> the last time was when joe lieberman debated cheney. but i think you want to lose your sense of hearing because you want to be happy. >> i disagree. i would not want to lose my sense of sight. it is vein, but you also don't want to get run over. >> back to greg. >> i am not going to. >> i hope you do. by the way, if you see dead people in a weird way when you look in the mirror and you see almost dead people. >> hey, man, i have feelings too. everyone that is watching right now is just leaving on a real downer. >> are they really? >> yes. >> how much time do we have in

in -- do we have? oh gee wiz. thank you for joining us. you did a great job. i'm greg gutfeld and i will see you next time. waive, okay, i will. fifteen min could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. mmmhmmm...everybody knows that. well, did you know that old macdonald was a really bad speller? your word is...cow. cow. cow. c...o...w... ...e...i...e...i...o. [buzzer] dangnabbit. geico. fifteen minutes could save you...well, you know.

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>> bill: the o'reilly factor is on. tonight: >> there would be enormous consequences if we start seeing movement on the chemical sweps front. >> bill: now the president must act on that threat. but what should he do? i will analyze with ralph peters, david hunt and charles krauthammer. >> voter i.d. why would we want to get obama do we need some special i.d.? >> bill: why is it the civil rights industry talking about black-on-black crime. we will tell you you tonight. i too want to tell everyone that i'm sorry that this happened. >> bill: george zimmerman wants the state of florida to pay some of his legal