welcome. home cooked meals, you know all butterflies here are alive up to the time we cook them. precious butterflies feel the most pain upon their demise. for now, welcome our guests. >> so hat, a son asked her to the prom. almost runeed the name. sorry about that. and tv's andy levy. invented sodium. never got the patent and lives at home and died three years ago, the bacteria and larvae

keeps him going. bill schulz. >> and more depressing than the economy. sitting right next to me, comedian joe. lateste fantastic comedy album called "you will die." download this uplifting album on itunes amazon and google play. >> [ inaudible ]. very nice. so before we start, joe, you were actually moving to los angeles. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> i'm going. >> what are you doing? >> got a writing job. >> when do you start? >> monday. >> monday. and when did you find out? >> i found out yesterday. >> found out yesterday for a job on monday. >> yes. fast. >> who dropped out? >> apparently -- [ laughter ] >> the insult is so -- >> i could see you literally xrermi i squirming in your chair. can't wait to get the insult out. nothing hidden about it.

>> there wasn't anything. so obvious. >> yeah. i apologize. to america, that joke. >> and a carrot -- >> please, let joe respond correctly so i can get the line out. >> what's the show called? >> "the home show." >> excellent. >> after -- >> after "conan." >> congratulations. i mean that sincerely. >> he'll be back in about a week. all right. >> put down his gun and run. schwarzenegger already the govern nator but does he want to be the presidentator. the post page 6 learned arnold born in austria, i guess they have wallabies, has been lobbying to change the law that requires the president to be born in america. a law already broken by our kenyan born socialist muslim dictator barack hussein obama. schwarzenegger working openly on

getting the constitutional rules changed to run for president 2016. filing paperwork to challenge the rule. we caught up with arnold as he left his hotel today. [ dogs barking ] [ horn beeping ] >> i guess that's what you call the puprotzi. it's a family show. sometimes puns work. wouldn't this be like a woman from austria being named miss america? >> i guess that's a great analogy, but when he said, you know, i'll be back. this is a -- he's back, ladies and gentlemen. arnold schwarzenegger is back. for me, he falls into the same category and weiner and spitzer and the other men just morally incapable of holding office. i just don't think that, law or not, that aside, moral character. come on. he had a love child. no more love children.

if you had a love child, just say, you cannot run for president. >> eliminating all of america. >> he certainly looks the part. i just want more terminator movies. >> why a love child? should be called a hate child. what? people say, love child? it would be in your house, you'd be taking care of it. no. it's a hate child. i'll have them take care of it. >> the term was invented, love the people they cheat and their wives with. >> joe, you must be heartbroken she took your, we'll be back joke. what do you think of the possibility of arnold as president or running for president? >> perfect sense. not shocked. i don't have a problem. i agree with what you said. my only disappointment, i don't care what he's done in his life. focus on, dude, you're about to be 70. i need "true lies 2." "terminator 5." the "twins" sequel. other things to happen now. >> and a nice remake to do -- "raw deal." >> "raw deal"?

>> "kindergarten cop." >> they're all grown up now. all of those kids. ta would be the sequel. all grown up, and he falls in love with one of his students, and have a love child. with that student. >> and then have to teach the kid in kindergarten. >> i know one. "junior 2." this one's half mexican. >> you're half moron. >> it's kind of already been made! >> yes, it has. thank you for that. spelling it out. >> andy, actually running for president, a gimmick? >> i think a gimmick part of the promotion for an escape plan. the movie was still on. from a political standpoint, a horrible governor. approval rating in the end in the 20s in california. i voted for gary coleman. i lived in california. >> did you vote for gary coleman? >> i voted to get rid of, what was his name? the governor? >> gray davis. >> gray davis and then i voted for gary coleman. also this isn't about changing

the law. kniss is this is in the constitution. i don't know how you file a suit. you can't say the constitution is unconstitutional. bts the constitutional. >> wow. sitting in bolling's chair and -- >> absolutely. >> where's your little constitution? >> on my o iphone in my pocket. >> did he say sin seriously or just go -- going to get the rules changes -- >> this was in page 6. so, yes, he said it. so it definitely happened. >> and in the gossip column. >> any idea how truthful page 6 is, not on page 6. it hasn't been for years. >> very good point. >> bill, one bright spot about schwarzenegger he's also trying to create a law making it mandatory for the skins of america to punch you in the face every three hours, chi i think is pretty much better than once every hour. >> i was going to defend him, but then -- it is better than once every hour. >> this is -- this is a good

example. this is where i'm glad eric bolling isn't here. an example how many tiny things in the constitution are totally stupid. this was something, a very vague thing alexander hamilton came up with. shortly after the revolutionary wore that said if they didn't want foreign influence over the office of the president. meaning somebody born in england to clandestinely wanted to make us of the european union again. 230-odd years later i don't think that's as bic of a problem. >> what about russell brand? >> e had looks colonial. >> the thing is, from a serious point of view, there's no way you can change -- could get this changed in time to run for president in 2016. >> no. you need and amendment. needs to be passed by two-thirds of -- >> yeah. no way that's going to happen. >> no. you know what? what could be worse than what's going on now? i'm torn, because he's an actor. the greatest president we ever had was an actor.

but also the most -- >> reagan. >> the most notorious assassin was an actor. i don't know where to go with this. >> what are you going to do? i can't believe we've talked about it this long. >> thank you. are you saying that lee harvey os oswald. >> are you saying lee harvey oswald was an actor hired by the cia. >> yes, i am. >> so lbj could become president's and take us further into vietnam? >> head me mind and it tattooed on my back. are you to blame if you tweet to complain? nashville singer, is there any other kind, sueed by a southwest airlines employee after a series of tweets complaining about the workers' job performance. in 20711, natalie grant, pissed jennifer patterson wouldn't allow her husband and family to board family because they didn't have the business select tickets that she and her 4-year-old were holding. society passenger tweeted this.

she said, basically said what the stewardess other flight attendant said. get over it. follow the rules are don't fly. then tweeted this, sadie had a major blowout. i think in response to our southwest flying experience. she decided to leave them a gift on their plane. sound like one of my gifts. leads me to one thought. pigless. >> oh -- oh, a tummy. oh. the same kind. ah -- oh, bubbles. >> glorious or something. are you going to start suing people who tweet hateful things about your stand-up? 's that would be too many. >> i already have, greg. i put them all together in a -- >> yeah. >> rico.

>> so it's good. i mean, look. the thing i couldn't -- i read the story over and over again. you know how bad my reading skills are. >> yes. >> so i still was missing something. i didn't understand. if she said, my 4-year-old needs to -- the 4-year-old on business class, make it tough. that's ridiculous. but if the 4-year-old could have sat with the husband who also didn't have one, i don't understand what the problem is now. i couldn't figure out in the story which one it was. it seemed to be contradicting itself. >> my original thought, too, but my question is why did natalie grant pfly southwest? a successful singer. flown delta. fly somewhere else. i fly delta all the time. love it. if i need to board early, if i had kids, needed to board early, i'm sure they'd accommodate me. people get way too over enthusiastic at the airport. 30 minutes before they even announce boarding time everyone is slowly going towards the

door. >> that's about -- carry-on baggage room. if that never happened, until they started sectioning off areas. you know, if you're in 21f, where i always am. the guy in 24 or 25 already took my stuff. so i sit there with my giant bowling ball and my skis. i'm athletic. >> and also about wanting to be in place before the xanax actually kicks in. >> very true. the story of my life. bill -- you've been kicked off more flights than anyone. does this case change things for you? >> it does show the american public that i have been on planes. so in a weird way, you complimented me. a flip side to that strategy. don't pack so many clothes. if you're like me who realizes no matter where i go people won't know if i've worn the same shirt twice. >> you're not a girl. >> definitely wrong. >> maybe i am. >> i'll unbutton after the commercial.

just because i'm not as well-endowed as others -- then you wait until everyone sits down and you take the seats that have the few amount of passengers, possibly an aisle, and you travel, your travel time is much more comfortable as a result. less clothes. >> maybe a strategy. southwest does allow a few more free bags than most other airlines. maybe a strategy. get more free bags. >> yes. >> i will say -- regardless of what i -- who has the what tickets, whatever, i'm tired of this attitude and carries into flight a lot. this thing, i've got kids, man. you don't know how tough it is. i need to get ahead of everybody. dude, you had the kids. now there's an extra responsibility in your life. that's not my problem. i didn't tell to you do that. i didn't ask you to do that. so, like, wait your turn like everybody else. >> don't know how tough is it for us being in a flight with them with the stupid kids. >> oh. >> i've been advocating for checking kids. i don't understand that. they can do it to little pets.

why can't you do it to little billy? >> then the cargo area will be -- here what you do. you drug them. you drug them to the point of -- >> oh -- >> they just, aaargh -- >> i want to get to andy. we're missing the point of the story. >> a few kids. we hit it. >> the point of the story, you could be sued for complaining on twitter. that is a big story. >> i don't actually -- i don't understand how the false light thing was allowed to continue. if the defamation charge gets thrown out. you're not defamed, then how are you being shown in a false light? isn't that defamation? i don't really get this. >> yes. >> hopefully she won't win this suit, because there are a lot of people on twitter who are going to go to jail. >> there is. >> if that happens. >> bill -- >> mr. smith, the case dismissed. >> it wasn't. >> it was continued. >> this -- you know, spills over into facebook. all of these things where you have a lot to go on, say what you really think. if you can potentially be sued for comments, that's just going

to -- >> i like that, though. because the thing is -- people do use yelp in a vindictive way for restaurants, and there's no way the restaurants have to go on and go, like -- only angry people put stuff on yelp. think about you, joe. you tweet angrily when a girl gives you a fake phone number. you are going to be sued. >> throwing things at her house, for that? because i followed her home. >> you should. >> i want to bring up, nobody brought this up. don't buy business tickets for have your family. that's -- like that's just wrong. oh, i have a 4-year-old. business select ticket to me and one of my kids. my husband and other two kids are stuck back there. that's not the airlines fault. >> oh, good. >> no, no. don't split up your family like that. >> i actually thought that same thing. what i think. you said this. why is she still flying southwest? a classic case of somebody milking the record label. label was like, we'll give you two business class -- she's too

cheap tore spring for the other two, and then -- in this position. >> and don't vent online. geez. what we're trying to tell our young people. seriously. i have to do this. you have to be careful what you say. it's going to come back to bite you, if you don't try to be tactful. >> on the other side of it, twitter has equalized the individual versus the company. say if you're a person with a lot of followers, a company usually has a spokesperson who doesn't understand their company very well. could be a food -- say sara lee and they write, my pies are the best and then some comedian with 20, 30,000 followers, you gave me diarrhea. that's going to -- equate -- all of a sudden the guy and the company are the same. time warner cable. time warner cable. never once, terrible with me, until i went on twit around said, i can't watch anything. thank you, time warner cable. immediately, a call. >> there's a difference between saying a company sucks and saying this person success. >> yeah. >> the person who works for the company suck.

that's the difference. that said, she didn't, never gave the woman's name. >> yeah. >> i don't even know how this woman has a suit at all since she was never named. >> unless she was tarnished by her company and that's why she's suing. >> what is she suing over? defamation is defamation. what is this false light crap? legalese that sounds like a guy talking through both ends of his mouth after he gets caught cheating. oh, yeah, doesn't matter if i was with her or not. eye painting me in a false light now. focus on that. it means nothing. false light. >> it's the whole thing is ridiculous. >> false light. >> you're ridiculous. >> you are. and -- look, i think there should be repercussions. >> what a shame. >> i know. >> okay, all right. >> you caught me. >> going with joe's fusion. >> radiohead cover band. yeah. that's life. >> so far lauren and i need an album cover. >> both of us had the same idea with a joke and it wasn't even a good joke. >> really wasn't. >> all right. we can't get to the next story

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the outlook's bleak, even after three weeks. been a while since the obama care website launch and most people are finding it sucks. now the washington examiner is reporting the biggest reason may be that the site wasn't tested

until less than a week before the launch date. looks like it's time for this -- >> obama apocalypse. >> keeping using that over and over again, until you tell us to stop. the examiner sig er citing somep management disaree and reoccurring delays caused federal officials to not allow actual testing until 46 days before the site went operational. meanwhile, some experts say the problems are so bad that the site needs a complete overhaul due to fundamentally flawed, outdated technology. sounds like bill's face. >> what? >> i don't know. thought i'd interject. for more, check in with our chief political correspondent. >> what's here? [ mumbling ] >> why do we hire a kitten as our chief political correspondent? it never works out.

they're so easily scared. >> sometimes i don't think they understand what the concept of hiring means. >> i don't know either. on a low budget. pick up animals a the pound and go, greg, we hired him. hey, joe. >> yes. >> really successful comedians like -- they spend they are time testing material before it's ready for a real audience. what about comedians like you? >> i run out onstage without any notes in front of me. my approach, like doing this show. i kind of jump out there and see what comes out of my mouth and hope there aren't angry tweets afterwards. >> disappointing, too. [ laughter ] >> there always are. aren't there? >> always are. >> what do you think of obama care? joe you don't really follow politics. you're a guy on the road. do you have health insurance? >> i do now through the sag actors union. you have to make a certain amount of money on tv to keep the insurance up, and when you do a show for free -- it doesn't

contribute to the -- >> that is not my fault, by the way. >> don't mention anything right now. i'm not getting paid either. >> joe, if you went on a show you didn't get paid for but prepared and did a really good job, it might lead to other shows. >> it might. and you think if i brought the notes and when i brought the notes it might lead to the host reading them and setting me up for them. >> which you did. >> i did. >> starting a job monday. you get health care. >> more health care. i already have health care. >> kenyan born socialist. >> i know. i don't support that. >> kristen, how do you launch something this complex less than a week before -- >> it's a problem and goes past glitches. the buzzword in the media. mere technical glitches. not a conservative, one of many liberals who's come out and said, this is a failure.

this is a problem. you thing is, from the beginning, obama care, the affordable care act everybody inner satisfied either side. it didn't satisfy conservatives and not a lot of democrats who wanted a single payer system. plus, very poorly managed. "usa today" reported 10-year-old technology, 55 different organizations in charge of putting healthcare.gov together. if that doesn't lend itself to anything that really functions, put it this way. the government runs the dmv. who's had ae with the dmv? no many people. do you-of-how do you think this is going to run? not great. >> and a bureaucratic andy levy. andy, don't all the problems confirm what conservatives said about why the government should stay out of health care? >> still trying to figure out what that meant. >> that mercant that you're a failure. >> ah. that's fair, then. >> worthless. >> almost as if the government

doesn't nope what the hell it's doing. came as a shock to me, a libertarian. i never expected it. you don't test a system that's supposed to service millions of people until a week before you release it? you were saying, 55 different organizations in charge of building the infrastructure, and one of the problems is they named as the system's integrator, a government agency. the medicaid and medicare service, instead of a tech company which might actually know something about all the systems put together and that led to them knoll being able to test it until a week before and insurance company, having prop. mutual of ohio said one customer successfully signed up for three of its plans. most can't sign up for one. who is this hero? >> no idea. >> might be batman. >> real. >> not a real person. >> look who's up. >> shut up. bill, liberals and conservatives agree the one good failure of the website, you, bill schulz,

can't get health care meaning you will die from one of the pa parasites living in your body. >> it's called symbiotic. i feed them, they feed me. >> learn about biology. >> second, you're right. a lot of people wanted obama care and the only difference between deliveries, and the reason the polls say most don't line obama care, most think it didn't go far enough. they wanted the single payer. overall, people want something like this. and the problem is, most of the problems they're having with the sites are in states with republican governors, because they're not providing marketplaces for them. not giving the -- not helping the government with this. so, therefore, the hsf is doing it all on their own. that's where the glitches are coming in. >> no. the federal government's own website is having problems. you can't act like it's the states' fault. >> the republican-led states are not giving them -- >> you can't even get through to that level.

>> in the states where they aren't giving many options. >> hawaii? >> hawaii has a democratic governor. >> hawaii's not a state. we can agree on that. >> finally. a middle ground. i got say, like -- the bottom line is here, it can't be fixed without a private enterprise influence. i tried to do a change of address when i moved. through the post office. online. the post -- i couldn't do it online. i ended up calling. on two hours. then, a friend of mine said, oh, just go there. just go there. it's easy. then what's the point of the website? >> having it online? >> yeah. the post office, it is incredible. like -- i was standing there -- knop, in the physical post office recently. it was so inefficient. and there's a million hackey jokes i could make about that. but the point -- >> you're right. >> listen, guys, was i in the post office or the sfar gatarga?

something about sdwrim. >> i love that show. >> bothered to do the hackey joke right. >> oh. anyway. my point is the guy in front of me looked like he was going to have a stroke. he was screaming. they wonder why nobody comes in here. it is. ridiculous pap government-run agency and probably one of the most important government-run agencies. the post office and can't get that part right. >> and going to mow you down, sir. >> you know what? >> you know what i'm saying? >> no. i can't figure out, nsa runs well. able to pick up so much data and run efficiently. how come our own government can't. unfair, the individual mandate is the thing that didn't get postponed. and the -- we know that congress doesn't have to abide by this bill, but the individual mandate is still there and it's individuals who can't logon to the swibt and get insurance coverage. that -- jon stewart pointed that out. he pressed kathleen sibilia. why do they have to pay a fine?

there's just so much hypocrisy. >> who tl is. who's this fella? >> way to plug him i don't know p. i'm saying he made a good point. i'm glad he went after kathleen sibilia. >> i was going to say -- >> no. that's why i'm saying, they're efficient. >> running out of time, people. i'm listening to somebody in my ear coming up, you see a good-looking girl at the bar but haven't had much luck lately? wr what do you do? a new book. say nothing, go home and cry into a pillow, wish you were dead. first, why are teens knock but selfish, self-centered brats? better question, why are we even asking this question? we know the answer. so if you have a flat tire, dead battery, need a tow or lock your keys in the car, geico's emergency roadside assistance is there 24/7.

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at afraud could meanuld blower credit scores. and higher car loan rates. it's a problem waiting to happen. check your credit score, check your credit report at experian.com. the facts are in. teens are evil according to the latest journal of environmental psycholo psychology, teenagers, bigger sociopaths than we thought. cognitive empathy, the ability to see things from somebody else's perspective doesn't start happening for girls until they hit 13 and 15 for boys. we're still many adolescent males can show dedplin being a decent human being between the ages of 13 and 16.

i think probably, maybe, this should be discussed in this. >> lightning round! >> lightning round. >> kristen, we all saw "lord of the flies." does this information surprise you? >> not one bit. >> now i know why so many of my girlfriends got bumped at this age. boyfriends psychologically disturbed. it's making sense now. >> it's al our fault. >> seriously. bullying is a problem. this inability to function well in social relationships is a problem. we've seen evidence in this woman in florida committing suicide. the boy thing, yeah. doesn't strike me. >> the girls are bad, boys are evil. we know kids are rotten. i'm scared of kids on buses in groups or trains. they have, four separate kids, or four separate kids. when they're together, they're like 20 kids. >> yes. >> do you find yourself running

down the street screaming in fear? >> yes. >> well, yeah. but not because of the kids. i think -- no. i agree with everything being prove bein the study or whatever. i believe kids are evil. i have a joke in my act so they don't think i stole it from you. if you think we're born with a good heart, read "lord of the flies" about a 6-year-old. why does a 6-year-old kid call a little girl fat? no mom tell as kid to do that. call her fat. it will be a riot. >> for starters, it's not a girl. >> did you know "lord of the flies" is fiction? >> what? >> my second example isn't fiction nap kids do that on the playground. amounts kid will say something awful and mean to you and laugh at you you. >> we do that with you and we're sort of grown up. >> yeah, but listening. here's the thing. i have pictures of all of you above my bed. so -- >> in the process of dealing with it in a different wanchts i believe human decency is

something that needs to be conditioned in, in a less -- a less extreme clockwork orange-style fashion over about a 20-year period of time. you have to learn it slowly. this idea that you're born with a pure soul and want to spread good as soon as you come out of the womb is absurd. >> who ever said that, though? >> most religions say you're born pure, born good. the world is what pollutes you. the sin is what pollutes -- it's not true. you're born a rabid, meat-craving animal. that needs to be house broken. honestly. >> a very hume nifk point of view we're all born good. there's nothing other than that good parenting. kids need two good parents. to raise them through this time and not good friends. parents aren't supposed to be friends. supposed to discipline and teach them. these are the things that are right. these are the things that aren't. even when going through a time when they can't get it in their

heads. >> i'm hungry for a pig's head on a stick. >> by the way, when willem writes this, is should be "lord of the flies." he was an outstanding outfielder. >> andy! >> you didn't know who it was. >> this may about biological thing as joe seems to believe, sad, pathetic, depressing manner. social media can't help. >> absolutely can't help. >> i don't think that's -- not because it's -- not changing anything. jut magnifying it and we see it now. instead of having to actually say something to someone's face you can post it on facebook, twitter or take a picture on instagram and call them fat or whatever. the research does say, they say, biology, not parenting, that's to blame. >> right. >> but other studies also say that this empathy, doesn't ghefl boys until they're in their teens and girls a little younger, another thing called affective empathy level that develops as child nap is affected by parenting and by your surroundings.

it has to be taught to you. how to behave. how to deal with other people. but they also say a child's effective empathy level can predict what their cognitive empathy level will be as a teenager. you can't say parents, it's all biology. helping them as kids affects how they develop as teenagers. >> versus nature or nurture? which affects more? nature or nurture? it's always a combination of both. >> that's what i said. i just said's in a funny -- >> no, no, no. the director would say, it's friday, i'm outta here. no sense looking at this. and look at you. so do adults. you really can't blame this on the human brain. >> i can't, but you know who does love me? my illegitimate daughters. i have two. one name the nature and the other one is nurture, and tell you something, they're both ables. one has nothing to do wit other. ooh. they're awful, but they do love me. love me a lot.

>> the scary part, sow et is geared towards pleasing these monsters. all of pop culture is geared towards that age group. >> because we're afraid of them. >> exactly. >> justin bieber. >> and sugary snacks. >> i think the most common mistake made with children is that -- >> having them? >> yeah, right. >> yeah. the -- it's not getting rid of them immediately. no. >> that's terrible. >> i'm adopted. i can make the jokes. >> the biggest problem with people in general is just that we don't look at people as a -- and with any sort of subgroups. you know, this is a -- an animalistic race, and animals are not just one type of animal. even if you go, okay. just dogs. there are many different types of dogs and temperaments. we have a delusion, everybody comes out of the womb with the exact same hardware. it's just not true. >> every giraffe is the same. have you ever gone and -- >> you bigot! oh, my god!

all right. send your letters to him. >> giraffe cannot write letters. that's why i chose them. >> you look at a giraffe. they're all the same. a variation, joe, you can't monitor for all variations. you got to say, ah, a giraffe, got a long neck. put him in a place. >> we do it for dogs. >> we also breed for those variations. are you suggesting we breed our children? >> have you not read his pamphlets? you don't want to know where this conversation is actually going. >> you suggested we breed with dogs? >> oh. >> think about it. >> you drug it out of me finally. >> we've got to take a break. >> more stuff when we come back. amazon.com, autographed copy, and the greatest book ever written. period. my insurance rates are probably gonna double.

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relief can be yours, but your peanuts... are mine. ♪ blah, blah, blah. halloween, blah, blah, blah. what about scary movies? what movie terrified you the most when were you a kid? specifically what horror flicks haunted you years after seeing them leaving scars sometimes into adulthood? classics come to mind like "psycho," "poltergeist" here's what haunted me as a child. ♪ i'll take you there i'll take you there ♪ i'll take you down ♪ >> yeah. >> i don't know why children were allowed to see that movie. >> delightful. >> joe, what's your scariest childhood movie? i would guess it's probably

"king of comedy." it kind of predicts your life. >> my scariest movie is the video where my uncle beating me. >> oh! >> i'm kidding. >> literal bit. no. the movie "the exorcist." to this day, favorite horror film and i won't watch it alone. >> serious question. from what i believe you're either agnostic or atheist. how does this scare you if you don't have faith, it's about demonic obsession. >> i am agnostic. it's the question mark, could this thing be real? >> it's the scariest movie ever made. >> agreed. a slasher movie isn't scary. i could turn on the news and hear stories like that. that's just depressing. not scary. just sad. something like the "exorcist." the question mark, could this xwlap is the devil real?

demons? it freaks me out tht i remember seeing that movie and i -- >> that's the problem with it, too. i was raised catholic. i remember, you watch something scary. your mom's like, you don't have to worry about has. i have specific memories going to my mom, like, mom, could that happen to me and her looking at me saying, yes, phil it could. i slept with the light on until i was 20. >> a great point. there's a belief in most christian faiths or whatever that you can open yourself up to be vulnerable to that. >> that's true. >> as a kid, seeing that movie -- >> i was thinking, i'm lying in bed, could i someoummon the dev? turn off your light, on and off 100 times and go, devil come meet me, it would. >> in your case, a tiny imp. >> that is true. have to be removed by a neurologist. >> what movie freaked you out? you're much younger than we are.

>> number one, animated movie called "the adventurers down under." around when i was -- i know. it bass a cartoon, but a crazy drunken woman that kidnapped these two children or whatever they were. creatures. she was crazy. she terrified me, but second was "jaws." that's the one you -- "jaws" freeshged me out. i still am afraid to swim in the ocean. even when i go to university studios and go on the studio tour, you know when it's coming up, you see the shark in the water, and i still scream. it terrifies me. >> i hate, as a kid, scared of being in a swimming pool or even taking a shower. >> it's not a horror movie. no, it's not. >> it's awful. like "psycho." >> it is not a horror movie. people say "silence of the lambs" is a horror movie. no, it's not. >> scares, what the human population has done to sharks since that movie came out. >> you know what? i don't really care. >> i don't think you know what

this is and what it means to the food chain when they're gone! >> i don't care. >> and what about you? >> "garfield." that scared you. >> no. it didn't. the -- the stupid clown in "poltergeist." >> yes. >> the stupid girls in "the shining." >> by the way, weren't you, like, 19 when "poltergeist" came out? >> yes. here's the deal. i really didn't see scary movies as a kid but read a lot of scary books that freaked he e! the he out. i didn't sleep for forever after that, and yes, the "exorcist" and "the omen." >> instructional movies on proper hygiene for bill? >> you think that. i shun them. not seen them. my scariest movie has yet to come out. but i think we all know how it

ends. i like to call it "the fifth estate." a man trying to bring truth to the masses's sometimes truth is the scariest thing of all, and i'll reiterate that saying, [ inaudible ]. >> i apologize to america. >> also scary -- >> yes. all right. i actually say deliverance. "fantasia." every year growing up in san mateo, this is a disturbing film. >> it really is. >> i don't know why -- they forced us to see this movie. it's horrifying. >> crapped out. >> that could happen. >> it could happen. >> it made me sick to my stomach. eat a lot of cotton candy before you watch it and then you throw up. >> halloween hippo. >> we've got to go. we have to move on, they're telling me. >> there you are. >> stay right here. another topic and then it's all over. it guides you to a number that will change it guides you to a number

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where customers ask eat from urine al shaped plates and toilet shaped bowls while sitting at toilet seats. entrees are a number of toilet themed entrees. some of the items they say were too disgusting for american people. what do you think? >> this entire people is disgusting for american poem and a disgrace. but you is this a ploy to get people to eat less at restaurants, to not finish their meal because it's so disgusting? i call it foreshadowing. >> i don't know. a lot of people eat in the bathroom. >> i'm single. i can do this every night. i don't need to go to a restaurant for this. >> sometimes i call you when you're doing this. >> it's called saving time. >> that is disgusting. >> really disgusting.

>> but do you think this is real? >> i do think it's real. >> you do? >> yeah. i think it's real disgusting. >> ladies and gentlemen, i'm not sure. whenever we do this show, i have to ask, is it real? >> did you see the pictures? it's real. >> remind you not to say anything disgusting that we have to bleep out, but is this a lot like the hard rock cafe. >> yes. but better! this is a place i'd go to. the whole time, i'm not the only one who thought this, you're reading the story going, taiwan, how is this not japan? but then i remembered, japan took over taiwan from 1890 until right after world war ii and it also got me to think, why were japan and germany allies? what did they have in common? of course, their love of poop! >> oh, bill, you're a weirdo. >> that's true. >> joe, stories like this exist i think so headline writers can write things like, flushed with success and think they're really clever or really predictable

comedians can make jokes about poop which we were trying to avoid. >> it's an insult. it's an insult for joe. greg, i will tell you, the way i eat at any restaurant, i immediately need a toilet anyway. >> that's good to know, i guess. but, i mean, that's really all you're going to say? >> well, the problem is it's also -- >> you know what? you know what? had it with you. had it with you. had it with you. >> are you kidding me? >> don't like you. don't like it. don't like it. you want some joy of hate? hate yourself. >> i guarantee you i will see you back here in a week. you won't last in l.a. >> you won't see me because you can't see over the table! because you're too short! oaf you will be chewed up and spilt out. hollywood will chew you up and spit you out. >> i curse you from l.a.! >> you not going to be there to curse me. you'll be sleeping on a couch with some transient. >> you'll get lost between the couch cushions because you're

tiny! >> all right. >> hi. >> hi, how are you? we've got to go. kirsten, always a pleasure. bill, andy. glad he's gone. >> the first walk-off. >> no, you're gone. you are gone! go away! it's too late.

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this is a fox news alert. tonight the manhunt for two killers is over. police have captured convicted murderers charles walker and joseph jenkins in panama city, florida at a motor inn. they were mistakenly released from a florida prison using forged documents. with me on the phone now is u.s. marshal from the northern district of florida, ed spooner. ed, are you there? >> yes. >> all right, ed. what can you tell us about the capture of these two men? >> we developed information yesterday they might be in the panama city area. worked through the night and da where they