>> they don't want the kids to see him on field trips. >> the saddest part is it's curling season. this is what canada should be dealing with, not mayor ford. >> this is a welcome respite. there are no summer sports in canada. do it then. >> it's the dead of winter in canada. >> that's when all their sports take place. >> here ice my question, my exit question, which means nothing. anthony weiner, do you think this guy is getting a pass because he's fat and jolly, that anthony weiner was unlikable and skinny? >> i once served anthony weiner where i worked. he was really nice. i was like, he looks really familiar, does he come here a

lot this >> and you were staring at his crotch. >> i think he had a diet coke. >> that's boring. >> i know what you're saying about rob ford. you know, he is jolly looking. he's probably jollier with the booze and the crack. >> that's true. >> i think he looks like he has gout. >> this is not going to end well for him. >> he's not jolly. he threatens to beat up staff and stuff like that. he's more bully than jolly. you are being reverse fattest. >> we've got to take a break. coming up, i will talk with brad pit, not brad pitt, my neighbor with one t. but first, we'll find out how it got there and why i'm suddenly itching.

they need lessons in luker. this week, britain's prime minister called for capitalism to be taught in schools. david cameron said he wanted a fundamental change in attitudes to making bank and did it with a delightful accept. >> we need to support reward and to celebrator e er interprise. i want to make sure it's taught in colleges, celebrated in communities. >> what do schoolchildren think? we asked a young student to comment.

[ laughter ] >> no, that child is doing fine. who is picking these videos? oh, my goodness. mike, you claim to be british. we have no proof of that. what do you make of this fellow's comments, old chap? >> well, old boy, bloody banger question. i think the first thing that needs to be taught in schools maybe is don't spend more than you earn. >> yeah. >> probably a good lesson for americans, as well. >> right. >> i think that's where it needs to start. america, 237, 238 years old, number one political power in the world, number one economic power in the world. why? because there's this wonderful attitude towards opportunity and entrepreneurship and everything else. so that's what makes countries

successful, and i think he's got a point in terms of teaching people not to be afraid when it comes to the entrepreneurial said and taking a bit of risk. maybe producing a few more billionaires like richard branson suspect a bad thing. >> it's like bathing in warm milk. you were in eighth grade like a year ago. do you wish they had taught capitalism instead of finger painting? >> i think it's important to teach the children like evolution, you know? >> somewhat is that? >> teach these theories. i understand what he's trying to say. it's about creating smart business-minded adults prak lickety. -- practically. then their status and the money is the means and end of what they're trying to accomplish. that's not society. that's not something i want to be involved in. that's not the place i want to

live. >> what are you talking about? >> i want to be filthy wealthy, but i don't know. >> what is the alternative? somewhat do you teach them? you team they have these horrible things about fairness, tucker. >> britain was at one point a capitalist country. that's where all the pretty buildings came from. it might be worth reminding the brits they lived the last 60 years off the residue of capitalism. the united states, the majority of young people, voters under 30 more identify with socialism than capitalism. that's the product of propaganda in schools and probably worth undoing that. >> we are completely doomed and i'm so happy about it. before we get too excited ant this, mr. cameron said britain needs to celebrate enterprise to pay for public services. that's not capitalism.

>> so work harder so you can pay more to the state. >> exactly. in the same speech he talked about how the austerity measures need to be permanent in britain. i don't want to sound like an occupy wall street type, or do i? can we put up that photo? maybe don't give that speech at the lord mayor's bap gnquet. not the best optics in the world. >> i like it. >> it's like a batman movie. >> but the kids don't understand money. they think that it all comes from dad's wallet, right? and if they need more, just print more of it. when i was a kid, i thought why continue you just print more of that. >> i still think that. give me more plastic cards. just swipe.

>> that's the lesson they're getting. you don't have to actually earn something. there's no connection between cost and consequence in today's culture, i believe. >> can you imagine running your own personal bank account the way that the government runs things? >> yes, i can. >> it doesn't work that well. they should teach capitalism, but also teach socialism. but have a day of socialism, where you put a ceiling on achievement and everybody gets the same grade, no matter how well you do. and starve half the people to death. >> the fact that we're having this suggest proves that no one learns anything. no lessons ever penetrate. if something has been done in the past, it will be done again, no matter how stupid it is. you wouldn't think 20 years after the fall of the soviet union that socialism doesn't

work. >> it's the same thing with sex ed. i learned nothing from sex ed. i was in the first sex ed classes like in the '70s. i learned nothing from that. >> ours were all technique. >> we didn't have sex ed in britain. it's too prim and proper to talk about it. the birds and bees we call it. >> i learned from "we" magazine. you would read the magazine and -- >> read the magazine? >> you were on the cover of "wee" magazine. but it was w-e-e. >> ywe had a big sign, no girls allowed, then they tore it down and i was put in a home for a

while. russians in the united states are capitalists. do you know why? have first han experience of socialism. it's true, it's true. >> i was just thinking the russians that we know. >> you can't find a russian socialist in the united states. that's the point. >> or russian criminals in the united states. >> not at all. all right. now that i've blown your minds, coming up, the c-block sponsored by dumpsters. thanks, dumpsters. you're welcome, greg. >> is love actually full of lies? the story hannity refuses to cover.

and now it's time for -- >> red eye debate 2013, live from the red eye debate center. >> which is basically where we are now. any way -- >> is that your voice? >> no, that's not my voice. that's an immigrant we found on the street. all right. this is a big, big story. love actually?

more like lies actually. buzz feed has come filed a list of 14 times the film "love actually" lied to us about love. number one, no one shows up at your house on a freezing cold night with cards professing their love to you. other lies include, no one gets chased through an airport. you got shot. the girl never follows you back out of security for a kiss. a whole town doesn't follow you to watch you propose. and the prime minister wouldn't kiss you in the backstage of a children's pageant. now, long-time viewers know that i hate this insipid garbage. andy, how do you like somebody that lies to you? >> it doesn't lie. let me tell you why this article is done, and so are you, greg. all those 14 things they say are

lies have happened to me. i've had many women who don't speak english fall in love with me. you know, this one, greg, no one would jump into freezing dirty water to save your typewritten manuscript? i did that for you, greg. don't pretend it didn't happen. i got cholera. >> it was a cess pool. >> that was the name of the book by the way. you're a strange, sad man. mikey, you are british. you are responsible for this filth in a way. >> yeah, i still don't have proof that i'm british. but how dare you question this oscar winning genius.

it should have been oscar winning. i just love the way hugh grant talking to julia roberts. look, on a serious note, and he's absolutely right, this is one of the most beautiful genius films of contemporary history. and i just can't believe that you're questioning the romance that exudes from london. >> movies like this damage relationships, because they enter at the infatuation phase, and they leave before the familiarity sets in. so they sell a false package so the american public. joanne, did you watch this movie? >> i watch this every year. we would all get together five weeks before christmas and watch it. i love this movie. it's a holiday movie. they're supposed to be feel

good. stuff never happens like that in real life. you know that. but it is arguably like two of the best performances from emma thompson and lora lenny. >> she's always in a crying face. >> she's sitting in her office and hoping her crush is going to walk by and talk to her. that's so good. >> i have to take a knee every time i watch that bit and get the kleenex out. >> you masturbate? >> that is disgusting. >> who are we here with? >> i didn't think we were going to have to say that. >> we'll edit it out. but you disgust me. tucker, like i said, to me, this is porn for women. it builds unrealistic expectations that will never be fulfilled. >> i found it hilarious.

it was vulgar, but -- >> that was "animal house," tucker. >> i haven't seen any movies, including this one. but the idea of golda mire chasing andy down the road. >> can i just say, my whole marriage is based off this film. the ginger guy that came across to the u.s. and pulled the really hot chicks, that's exactly what happened to me. my wife is american. she's an ex-model. she's ten years younger than me. i'm batting so far -- >> you're making me against immigration. you come to our country, you flee your island nation and your snag our models. >> i did. and you know what? >> he came, he met a beautiful

girl in the midwest. now he's married in england with a brood of children. >> and a labrador. >> that's actually the name -- >> he took her from here back to england? >> yes, he kidnapped her. >> did he burn the village on his way out? >> i saw this movie in the theaters, it was on a date, like 2001, 2002. i was in l.a. -- no, 2004. this fact is unimportant to you people. 2003, i was watching it in a theater. when the orchestra starts playing in the church, that is the worst scene of any movie. >> it's brilliant. >> why? >> how do you hide the tuba and trombone? >> love. the same way you do everything, greg. how sad for you that you are dead inside, you despicable little freak of a man.

>> i like love stories. ever see "a boy and his dog? " >> homaphobe! >> ever seen "a boy and his dog?" he has to choose between his dog and this woman, who wants him to get rid of the dog. she wants to eat the dog, right? and i'm not going to tell you the ending, but you should see it. that was love. >> that sounds realistic. >> what happens is the dog eat the boy and the woman. >> why did you do that? >> is that what happened? >> yes. but it's more realistic than "love actually." colin firth is the most overrated british actor in the world. >> you can't say that. >> i just did. >> you don't mean it.

>> i do! >> no, you don't. >> he almost destroyed "momma mia." terrible in "king's speech." >> his stutter was great. it was very believable. >> that stutter ruined the movie. it should have been a short film. >> exactly. >> it was annoying. >> you told that story in 15 minutes. >> you know what? "momma mia," one of the greatest films ever thanks to pierce brosnan's singing. but colin firth was terrible. you come here and everybody is oh, listen to that accent. but there are killers in england too, you know. >> ever thought about hosting a late night tv show? i think you would be really good. >> i've had it with these

people. i'm editing him out of the shoechshow. >> you said i could be a regular on the show. you're so fickle. >> fickle? >> i said fickle, not pickle. >> what is wrong with you people? how come no one ever shares these pills with me? this is the second time this week they have pills and don't give them to me. more stuff when we come back. "the joy and hate," you should guy this book tonight just to make me feel better.

scientists in belgium discovered traces of the herpes virus on copies of "50 shades of grey." joe, how are you?

>> i'm terrified, terrified, greg. >> you should be. joe, they say the virus cannot be contracted by touching the book. are they lying to us? >> first off, greg, i've been researching herpes all day. it is a terrifying disease. 70% of the people that contract herpes get it when their partner has no visible outbreak, which is terrifying. and 30% of people who contract have sex with someone with a visible outbreak. as for the books, sure, scientists will say you can't get it from books. they're just trying to protect books. >> if you knew you could get it from a book, you would burn the book. >> no more scientists without books. >> it's so greedy. do you think most copies might have the virus? >> the study said most do have the virus, and most also have cocai cocaine.

sitting around getting herpes, doing cocaine and reading smut. >> how many people do you think have gotten the disease from reading the book? >> i think we got lucky, pun intended, that most people who read it probably already had herpes. >> now, will you avoid dating a woman if she's read a book? >> i'm terrified of women that read this book, but i am not in a position to turn down dates. >> all right. next story. this week, this is a horrible story. a cleaning robot may have committed suicide. according to reports from austria, the gadget was left on a kitchen counter after taking care of spilled cereal. it switched itself on and moved on to a kitchen hot plate,

burning itself to death. joe, i'm going to come right out with it. if they can kill themselves, they can kill us, right? >> if that's what one robot without any arms can destroy a house, think about a robot that can win "jeopardy." >> are you terrified an appliance can murder you in your sleep? >> i'm not going to sleep tonight, i can tell you that much. >> i don't think you ever sleep. >> thank god for coffee. >> yes. you probably stand watch, don't you? >> oh, yeah. i am alert. one eye open. baseball bat. it's not easy. >> do you think that maybe this isn't a suicide, that it could have been robot on robot murder? >> i hope it is robot on robot murder. end result, less robots, more jobs for us.

>> so true. should we as concerned citizens and consumers chain our appliances down at night? >> i don't like have that many chains around either. so after that "50 shades of gray" stuff. >> that's true. you could have a robot that's in to something. >> i haven't read the book yet. >> time for one more story. this is about a bunch of climate change experts. they say they found the world's oldest creature. by opening the clam to check its age they killed it. if a 500-year-old clam isn't safe, how are we going to be safe? >> we're not safe. heck, you have a bunch of scientists out there. what if one asks you how old you are and the only way to find out is to kill you. it's ridiculous. let the thing not die and wait. >> that was the thing, they didn't want to wait, because they said it could be 500 years from now.

they were impatient scientists. >> we should just kill everything to learn about them. scientists! the herpes books. >> i just don't know -- you know what? maybe you're normal for being frightened all the time. >> maybe i am. i think maybe some people on the panel owe me an apology. i'm waiting. >> joe, always a pleasure having you here, alerting and scaring the crap out of our audience. i hope you get home safety. >> one eye open, sleep with one eye open tonight. >> thank you, joe. coming up, more stories, probably not as scary.

brand-new "red eye" returns monday. next week, we've got patty ann brown, dean cain and jim norton. in order to be viable, lest you be certifiable, according to an oxford psychologist, television

and media ranks among the top promotions with the top psychopathic personalities. what makes a psychopath? psychopathy is a social disorder kashg rised by coldheartedness, superficial character, anti-social behavior, such as criminality, like the dalai lama. tucker, you're in the media, you're also a ceo. so basically you're something horrible. >> everybody in the media is a psychco path and annoying, but in is totally fake. by far, the craziest people in america are shrinks. everybody knows that. some of them are charming, but they are bonkers, flat-out nuts. most ceos are just not that

interesting. >> basically a lot of the things they said were psychopathic was successful. >> this is revenge of the dorks. >> mike, what do you make of this? >> i love the way this comes on the heels of -- >> it's ego, not psychopath, right? >> i think it's a combination of everything. i think you've got to be a certain someone to put yourself out there. >> yeah. >> for criticism, for praise or whatever. and i think you have to have a thick skin, know your own mind. as a ceo, you have to make decisions and not care what people think. so i can see that. the fact is, in the top three means it's not number one. >> right. >> that's what i'm surprised about. >> joanne, how psychopathic are

beauty contestants? >> i was once awarded by my friends most likely to fall in love with a psychopath, and they said this honestly. was it psychopath or sociopath. there's a difference, right? >> i think so. >> i would probably fall in love with either of those. so i think that's the issue at hand. >> i feel very bad for you. >> how do we prevent that, though? i don't want that to happen. >> last word to you, andy, we have 30 seconds. >> i never think about the people i work with. as far as i'm concerned, what they do doesn't matter. >> they're not even real. >> i don't even know that they exist unless i need something from them. i'm more worried about the fact that police are in the top ten in this list. that scares me a little bit. >> it's revenge of the nerds

against successful people. >> totally. >> and i'm oddly attracted to andy right now. >> there you go. >> on that note, we've got to go. our frightened correspondent, joe mackie. ♪ like, really big... then expanded? ♪ or their new product tanked? ♪ or not? what if they embrace new technology instead? ♪ imagine a company's future with the future of trading. company profile. a research tool on thinkorswim. from td ameritrade.

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♪ ladies and gentlemen, the president of the united states. >> my fellow americans, while promoting the affordable care act i promised over and over again if you like your health care plan and your doctor, you can cope them. well, what i said was not accurate. as millions of you received letters from your insurance companies and saying that your policies are cancelled because of obama care. and so today, i am announcing that if your insurance policy was cancelled because of obama care, it can be renewed. but there is one thing i