oh, hello, everybody. i'm greg gutfeld. it's 5:00, you knew that. the north pole is melting and it's your fault. which is why for christmas, green peace has bar offed out a video of santa looking like saddam trapped in a spider hole. this is not santa but a bad actor playing him. >> i've dreamed of bad tidings. for some time now, melting ice here. the north pole.

has made our operations and our day-to-day life intolerable and impossible. >> it's like a cialis commercial for middle earth. he goes on. >> i have written personally to president obama, president putin. all world leaders. sadly, my letters have been met with indifference. >> what's next? the easter bunny on a rack? proceed. >> my home in the arctic is fast disappearing. and unless we can all act urgently, then i have to warn you of the possibility of an empty stocking forevermore. >> next year they're going to waterboard the tooth fairy. and here lies the lesson, once

someone's trying to scare the kids, it's because they lost on facts. this is true in most issues in our time, the drug war, satanic heavy metal music, ddt hysteria, day-care abuse, rising gun crime. once you focus on actual stats, the story dies. far better to stoke fear than state the facts. we used to call this propaganda. now it's called raising awareness. it's where al gore and global warming hysterics live. it's not about a tiny blip in temperature over a century. it's that the debate has been stained with lies, panic and fear. the hysterics cried wolf so loudly that the wolf croaked. but the facts are finally winning. global temperatures are flat-lining. that's not to say we shouldn't care. a gradual rise in temperatures will save lives. and the use of coal which hysterics hate would save millions of lives in third-world countries who burn far deadlier stuff. so it's not this santa we need to worry about. it's the santa in the white house. fresh from trashing one-sixth of the economy, he's now eyeing climate change.

do you think he's actually read the science? i doubt it. like greenpeace's santa, he's being kept in the dark. dana, what about the children? what about the children? >> forget the children, i was terrified. >> were you really? i saw you went under the desk. >> i got a little nervous. first of all, i didn't know that he was santa -- i mean, that he was british. that is an interesting thing for me. and also, that was the butler from "downton abbey"? >> yeah, "downton abbey." father christmas, he's british, right? >> father christmas is for everyone. i guess. >> i guess so. what do i know? >> i think they should have had a redneck santa. it would have been more persuasive. i think you're right about scaring children. >> yeah. >> but it's really the only thing that they have. one of the things i used to do at the white house, one of my first jobs while i was waiting for security clearance was reading the children's mail as it came in to the president. there was a lot of stuff about 9/11. then there was this whole batch. and you could see, like, a word had gone out for all the teachers of the third graders in

america to send in letters about global warming. and these kids were really worried that the earth was going to fall off. >> it's the nuclear war. when i was growing up in the '70s, the cold war that we were going to be bombed by russia or ussr, actually, and so we would hide under desks and dream about that every night. eric, what did you think of the saddam hussein shaikh mohammed? >> that was great. so on the week that this video comes out, the earth, the globe recorded its coldest temperature by far, 135 degrees below zero. shattering all the records. also, the fight after the video came out, the chicago bears played in negative nine degrees wind chill. which is, if i remember right, back in the day of soldier field, the toilets used to freeze. and guess what, they still freeze 25 years later. 70% of the country is blanketed in below-normal temperatures right now. the problem is that greenpeace went with global warming again. remember two years ago when they realized it may not be warming, it may just be changing and they went with climate change?

but they went with global warming. they kind of screwed up. if they had said the climate's changing, then maybe they had an argument. but they went with global warming. >> and they equate -- if i could pick up on that point -- they equate terrorism with global warming. what they are doing in terms of using that picture of the saddam hussein look-alike or the khalid shaikh mohammed mug shot, that's what they -- that's the equivalent for them. >> that's a good point. i just thought they were being shocking, but they were actually trying to make a point. >> maybe i'm giving them more credit than they deserve. >> they treat people who don't believe what they believe like terrorists, right? isn't that how they conflate anyone on the opposite side? the left has use the terrorists to describe people on the right a lot. i think they also, greg, wanted to get the peta crowd in here because they had khalid shaikh claus get the reindeer in trouble. how low do you have to go to rudolph and dasher and dancer -- well, they tried to scare the parents, and that is the whole crux of this. when you dig into the poll,

people may say, all right, there is something happening with the climate. and they may say, well, we should do something about it, but they don't believe that it is a crisis. and they don't want taxpayer money to be used for it. i'm surprised santa didn't thank us for solyndra and all the things we spent millions on. so if you want to blame someone, blame the white house. we've invested plenty. it hasn't changed it. >> you know, bob, there could be things going on in the climate. there always is. and we don't know yet. and i'm inclined to -- i listen to all sides. but the problem is is when a side goes over the top that alienates anybody, right? that would be willing to listen. it just makes me not want to listen. >> well, the guy scared me because it reminded me of hannibal lecter. that was my real problem. listen, you know, you are terrorists who don't believe in global warming. >> see? >> we're never going to agree on this. you've got facts. we've got facts. we go back and forth. now, i wouldn't necessarily scare kids because of santa

claus, but i would take those pollsters that are out there on those icecaps that are broken apart and look at those. ing rate.b. the globe is getting colder, bob. >> no, it's not. >> no, but that's also global warming. see, it doesn't matter what the weather is. they claim that it's global warming. >> it's warm in certain parts of the world, which is -- >> you have to admit, the climate does change. you can't refute that. you guys got us. climate change. you're right. >> part of the reason it's changing is because we've thrown all these carbon monoxides up there into the -- >> do you think greenpeace runs that ad in china or brazil? >> i bet they laugh and throw them out of a window. i want to move on. that was a stupid way to celebrate christmas. here's a nice way to honor christmas. these are the guys of "duck dynasty." they're on a uso tour singing with general dempsey. here they are. i am not much for christmas carols or sing-alongs, but this is probably a better way, eric,

of dealing with the holidays. >> these guys are absolutely on fire. you know why? they're good people. they're just god people. you can do that. they can stand up, they can say their prayer at the end of the show, which i believe -- is it still in? i hope it's still in. >> yeah. >> look, they're just good, down-to-earth, solid quality people, and it's fantastic. i love what they're doing. >> you know what? this is a -- the reason why i brink this up, it's a contrast from greenpeace. greenpeace are environmental activists. these are actual environmentalists because they live in the environment. if they kill something in order for that to survive, they have to raise more of them. so they know more about wildlife than any activists would. >> and they also get a bad rap from a lot of folks because, let's be honest, they're religious, right? they represent that group of the population that we heard our president say clings to god and clings to guns. and you even saw phil robertson of "duck dynasty" come out and say, yeah, the producers didn't really want us mentioning jesus' name when we played because they

didn't want to offend muslims. there are something to people who are insecure about their beliefs when they see the people from "duck dynasty" who are so secure about their beliefs, and espousing what america believes in that is so nauseating to them. what i think is ridiculous is they're reaching out to the troops. again, kids, the troops, can we leave these two groups alone? i guess not. you can't leave them alone, can you, bob? >> it's not me. the republican party's adopted the troops. i'm all for the troops, too. but i mean, let's face it. who uses the troops as a way to dump on democrats and dump on lefties and all the professors and all the stuff, all the universities that are just all commies and we hate the troops and your our terrorists. >> aren't you lefties anti-war terrorists? >> no, not anymore. i'm for going to war against europe. >> watch it. i remember you used to hang with jane fonda. >> i hung with her a bit.

she was good leakiek looking, t. she got off the gun, i got on the gun. no. you know, i never was against the war, against the troops. that was against bad policy. she made a terrible mistake and i think she paid a big price for it. >> dana, they have an album out, "duck the halls," which did not beat britney spears but almost. element -- almost beat britney spears. >> this close. >> it was this close. britney spears' debuted, and they were still almost beating her. >> they are extremely popular. and what i like about these guys is how they decide to spend their free time. they decide to go on a uso tour. where they didn't go off to sunny vacations in the caribbean. they decided to go and see the troops. and the troops love them. so i think that they're utilizing their moment in time, their 15 minutes of fame, which is spreading out. they're using it in a good way. >> one quick thing. when they were here when we had willie on, his brother, they checked into the hotel down there, and they threw them out. >> because he has a beard. >> they thought he was homeless.

they said, there's a public boo bathroom down the road. >> anyway, i think president obama should get coal in his stocking just as a reminder of how important coal is. decision on keystone is coming up anytime, right? >> well, the political things that happened this week -- >> it will? >> i don't think so. i think that john podesta, former clinton guy who's now going back to the white house which i think is a -- says a couple of things, that they're worried about hillary -- that they want to make sure everything's smooth for hillary clinton over the next two years. also he's been a very vocal opponent of the keystone pipeline. >> he just said he's going to recuse himself from that decision. that tells me he's looking to cover his butt. >> that's true. >> when the head of the environmental protection agency about four weeks ago, early november, told "the boston herald," i can't come out and defend this administration's decision to block the keystone pipeline. i thought, oh, wow. when the epa is backing away from obstructing it -- >> can we get in any more obama bashes here? >> no, it surprises me it's

happening after he was re-elected. for those of you that have christmas parties this month, stay tuned for "the five's" and bobs tips on what not to do with them. up next, "time's" person is revealed, and we'll reveal our reaction. exciting.

♪ "time" magazine announced their 2013 person of the year today. the finalists were ed snowden, ted cruz, pope francis, edith windsor and bashar al assad. and the winner is -- jorge mario bergoglio, or as the world knows him now, pope francis. the first noneuropean pope in 1,722 years. he lives like catholics think he

should. he shuns the papal palace for a modest apartment. he drives a 1984 renault rather than being chauffeured around in a pope mobile. he's both christlike and likeable, a rare gift among men and women of the cross as a very practicing catholic. i, for one, believe "time" chose the most influential person of the year. like the choice. bob, let me guess. you like this one, too? >> i do very much. they call him the people's pope for good reason. he's brought the catholic church from way up wherever that thing is where they talk down to people, down to earth. he's not from europe, which is a good thing. the other thing, i'm surprised you like him so much since he's anti-capitalist. >> well -- that's not really -- look >> people say he rebukes capitalism. >> not necessarily stinging. he just says don't live for the sake of money. >> that's a christian view. >> yeah, a christian view. >> i thought it was a great choice, well deserved. what is great about a choice like this is that he has been chosen to represent catholics on the world stage. but there are millions of

catholics who practice on a smaller stage. so you have nuns that are teaching schoolchildren all over the world, missionaries, the catholic charities work. and so this, i think, represents them in a way that will hopefully advance the promise of christian love. >> you know what's interesting also? a lot of non-catholics really like this guy. and that's a great sign. your thoughts? >> i'm a non-catholic, and i think he is fantastic. the way he reaches out to people, he's not afraid to get in the audience and coddle the disabled boys and kiss the people. and i don't think he was being anti-capitalist. i agree. and i support him because he lives that edict. that's what he lives every single day. don't get obsessed or driven by money, which is something a lot of people have a hard time with. but eric, i noticed kathleen sebelius was on the list. and i know sometimes it's hard because you're, like, why is she on the list for person of the year? but the "time" magazine definition says the person of the year is the person, group, idea, or object that, for better

or worse, has done the most to influence the events of the year. i think it really could be a runner-up, kathleen sebelius because she's influenced the events right here at home with obama care. and when our economy gets sunken by this, it will affect the world. >> how did that idiot miley cyrus get on there? >> wait, wait, wait. hold on. getting off topic here. we're going to get to some of the runners-up in a second. the pope called out the catholic church for being not inclusive when it comes to gays, when it comes to contraceptives, and when it comes to abortion. >> yeah, but my fear is why does it always have to be a man? why does it always have to be a women? why not a transgendered individual? why not a slow loris? they've done a lot for our community. have you ever seen a not aboshl -- adorable slow loris? that should be the animal of the year. but actually, in all seriousness, this is the death of the news magazine. this is just a stunt and they picked the pope because it was safe.

don't pat yourself on the back. they're doing it because they're scared. they don't know what else to do. there are brochures at duane reade on gout that are thicker than "time" magazine. i would have picked ray kelly because he has done more to drop crime nationwide than anybody, and he saved more minority lives than any recent civil rights leader by initiating revolutionary crime policy. >> i remember when "time" magazine named khomeini as the man of the year, and it drove everybody crazy. that was right very close to when our hostages were taken. and i was shocked. and then i realized that's what they were talking about, people who affected the world. >> for positive or negative. >> yeah, for positive or negative. >> a stunt for a dying magazine. >> no one thought ed snowden? >> i would not have been surprised if they had chosen him because of the definition andrea read. >> not necessarily good or bad but influential. he's changed the way a lot of thinking is going on arnold the world. ted cruz. you may not like him.

there's one that you may have -- bashar -- not martin bashir. bashar al assad. >> martin bashir is his cousin. no, i think that's -- look, i don't think he's changed the world as much as the pope has. i want to get back -- can we get back to that idiot miley cyrus? >> sure. >> why that person even exists in this -- with the pope? you know, i mean, it's just crazy. >> i think it was just so that they could get publicity -- "time" magazine could get publicity in the leadup to this decision. >> that's all it is. >> they were trying to get under your skin. >> well, they got it. >> and get a younger audience, too, because she'll tweet about it and people will talk about her. >> who picks this? who makes these choices? is it the staff? who are they? >> pick something out of a hat? >> can i make a point. these are people that aren't working anywhere else. who's left at "time"? who's left at "newsweek"? these are people who couldn't get jobs in new technology. >> okay, so who would be your person of the year, then? >> i would say ray kelly. >> ray kelly? >> yeah, because i think the guy

-- i don't care about the globe. i care about the united states. >> gotcha. dana, your thoughts? >> i thought the pope was the best choice. i thought that made the most -- that he merited the award. and the reason i wouldn't -- i don't like the definition that they have because if assad had been given this award, they see it only as a positive. so when you get "time" man of the year, nobody is looking at the fine print to read the definition. they use that as propaganda for themselves. >> i think the pope was the right choice. >> not barack obama? >> no. probably, second place. >> i would have probably chosen, on the list, vladimir putin over assad because i think he's controlling most of what's happening at least over in the middle east -- well, and the world, you could argue. again, domestically, if this is just pro-america like greg gutfeld, i'd go with sebelius. she's affected the events of at least a good portion of the last year because of that darn website and the obama care law. >> did you see putin has closed

off all journalists? he controls everything over there. >> state-run media. we're going to leave it right there. i agree with dana. i think we talked about this at thanksgiving time. whatever. i agree. i love the pope choice. coming up, bob was glued to the tv last night watching the victoria's secret fashion show. >> it was great, too. >> he wants to talk about it. i bet he does. also the g-rated kiss that got a 6-year-old boy suspended from school and accused of sexual harassment. the ridiculous details when "the five" returns. ♪ ♪ what the fox say

♪ i want to kiss a girl all right. an 8-year-old was suspended after using his finger as an imaginary gun in florida, and a 10-year-old was suspended for shooting an imaginary bow and arrow in pennsylvania. and now in colorado, a 6-year-old has been suspended for kissing a classmate on her

hand. little hunter yelton was accused of sexual harassment by officials at his elementary school for the act. he's been labeled a repeat offender because he once kissed a classmate on her cheek. here's hunter talking about his crime. >> it was during class, yeah. we were doing reading group. and i leaned over and kissed her on the hand. that's what happened. i just have a lot of energy. 6-year-olds, they have a lot of energy. >> breaking development this afternoon is that after a national outcry, hunter's principal now said his record is going to be changed from sexual harassment to misconduct. now, bob, if these rules -- >> why are you coming to me first? >> because i want to know if these rules had existed when you were in school -- >> i'd be in prison. i'd be in sing sing. are you kidding me? for kissing her hand? first of all, he was a wuss just to kiss her hand, number one. >> well, he is only 6 years old.

>> well, he kissed a cheek and got in trouble for it. >> then he went to hands. because he got beat up on the cheek thing. i think it's depressing. who knows? sexually he's all screwed up now. >> you just called a 6-year-old a sexually screwed up wuss. >> think what that did to him. these people shouldn't do that. >> they're probably screwing him up, i do agree with that. >> i try to give deference to the school, eric. it sounds like if you read between the lines here, maybe there's behavioral issues that the teachers have had to deal with and they're trying to get the parents to focus which apparently now the parents are all paying attention. did this ever happen when your kids were growing up? >> when i saw this story on "fox & friends," i was outraged. i can't believe they're giving a 6-year-old a hard time for giving a girl a kiss on the hand. how much more respectful can you possibly be? patting him on the back. >> apparently the girl was uncomfortable. i think the claim of sexual harassment is a little much. what do you think, andrea? >> well, yeah. and now you said, i guess it's

misconduct. >> yeah. >> the little boy didn't know what sex was before, but now because of this attention, he's asking all these questions. can't these administrators use a little bit of common sense that a 6-year-old boy, and one would think an educator would know this, isn't having these sexual thoughts, he just has a bunch of energy and it's natural? and by the way, little boys like girls. >> that's right. >> i mean, if this little kid kissed a boy on the cheek, guess what? they would be saying he's experimenting, and we need to be tolerant. and this would be a totally different situation. >> i never have, in all the years we've known each other, i've never sexually harassed you, have i? >> yes, you have. >> but bob -- >> i've never asked you for a kiss, have i? human resources -- what do they call it human development? they tried to me to read through it, i read one page. >> you wrote the manual on sexual harassment. >> you sounded like you were annoyed about i that kid. >> i believe he was coached. what did he say? i'm a 6-year-old. i have a lot of energy. that was coaching. i believe as a society, we no longer handle problems amongst ourselves.

we always go to a third party, an external social agent which is why common sense is always suspended when you go to an outside party to deal with it like a referee. it's no like -- hey, come on, he's just a kid. it's more like no, it's sexual harassment because they've all been trained in schools to think this way and to use this horrible language. obviously it's misconduct or mr. conduct. we don't want to be sexist here. but i do think there's something else going on here. >> they're laying a lot of this touch is on these teachers. too much pressure on them. you know how many hours kids spend in school? >> with all the snow days? we didn't get to that part. >> how many school days did you have in wyoming? >> in colorado, we'd only have a snow day if the administrator couldn't get from his house to the end of his driveway which was a quarter of a mile on a tractor. >> you weren't allowed outside in snow. >> did you ever get caught in snow drifts? >> no, because i was in my room reading. that's what i was doing. >> you both got a concussion from a snowflake. >> ow!

ahead, a lot of eye candy at last night's victoria's secret fashion show. bob, greg, and eric are going to give you their reviews. plus former victoria's secret model gisele bundchen posted a picture on instagram that's getting a lot of attention from critics, but is there anything wrong with it? that's next. ♪ ♪ do all the bad things

♪ knew you were trouble when you walked in shame on me right now took me to places if never been ♪ ♪ oh, oh, trouble that was taylor swift from last night's victoria's secret fashion show, also known as a must-see tv event for bob. one of the most famous former angels, gisele bundchen, raised eyebrows recently with this picture she shared on instagram breast-feeding her baby daughter while she was getting made up.

the photos was praised by some who appreciate a mom who's working and caring for her child. and harshly criticized by others for, as one mommy blogger put it, outrageous and obnoxious. i looked in the comments section of some of these websites where this picture is posted. they're either killing her or praising her. one woman who praises her says that i love she keeps her kid with her when she travels and they said she shouldn't be so jealous of her life. everyone should focus on their own life and not hers. and she says good for you, gisele. >> one thing, there's nothing lower than a mommy blogger. that goes without saying. >> you are in so much trouble. >> i don't care! come after me, mommy bloggers! >> why? what's wrong with mommy bloggers? >> they always believe they're right about everything and they're always angry. my god! look what's happening! >> coming from mr. anger management. >> this is the most depressing part of this story. imagine if you're that kid, not then, but if your mom -- if your

mom is gisele bundchen and your dad is tom brady, you'd better be good looking. because if you're not, you'll have to stay inside for the rest of your life because those are the two most perfect specimens on the planet. >> but you'd be rich. would you rather be good-looking or rich? >> i'm both, so how would i know? >> you got away from victoria's secret so fast. >> i'm sorry, bob. >> i wanted to make a comment. did you see the negligee with the wings? what does she do with them when she gets in bed? >> i think she probably has them off by then. another woman posted -- "why don't you try fixing lunches, doing your own hair, and breast-feeding not putting yourself out there as some kind of supermom while someone else is at your beck and call. it's revolting." there was a woman doing my hair and makeup earlier today, and i kind of like it like gisele, too. you have a glam squad, perino. >> i do.

>> go back to the mom bloggers. whine, whine, whine. >> just stop. i find it so boring. i find the complaints so boring. here's what i think about gisele. i have no idea what it is like to be able to reach the second shelf of the kitchen cupboards. my whole life, i've always had to climb up on the counters. for one day, if i could just know what it was like to pull up a suitcase down without having to get off the step ladder. >> why don't you build the shelves lower? >> you know what i do? i go to it's a small world. it's awesome. and i shout at the children. >> eric, do you think there's anything wrong with this picture? i don't think there's anything wrong with it. >> i do, and i'll probably get in trouble for it. two things. first of, don't hate me, there's a time and a place for everything. i just don't like this out in a public area. >> getting makeup, you mean? >> the other part. >> you mean breast-feeding. >> breast-feeding's great, don't get me wrong. whatever in the middle of everything they have going on there. what is gisele saying? i'm such a regular person, i'm breast-feeding while three people do my hair and one person does my nails. the hypocrisy of that picture, at least i'm seeing it.

>> i'm going to play a little bit of a devil's advocate. she's a model and so that is her job. now, this is where she took some heat for actually saying that women should breast-feed their kids. and a lot of women who don't took that pretty offensively. and i can see that. >> i have some things to say about this. but greg told me during the break that i shouldn't say anything because all these women would start attacking me. >> then talk about the fashion show. >> no because you don't want to talk about it, but that's okay because it was really good. look right there. look at that. now, is that not a good negligee right there? >> that's not a negligee, but it's lovely. >> what do they call that? >> bra and panty set. >> is that a bra and panty set? >> yes, it is. >> i didn't know that. mother of god. >> they're telling us to move on or bob has to take a cold shower. >> no, no, no, no. i sort of agree with eric on this about there's a time and place for everyone. if it had to be anybody that you had to look at, her, it was worthwhile, yes. >> all right, bob.

you've been asking for this topic all night. miley cyrus, artist of the year named by mtv. what do you thing about this is this they factored in air play, media, record sales -- >> if it's based on those facts, i guess she wins. on talent, i don't really enjoy listening to her. except for that song "party in the usa." i have that song on my ipod. >> eric, you're nodding? >> don't hate her for all that stuff. the santa claus and whatever she's about to do next. there's going to be another twerking one. but the songs are great. i mean, her music is fantastic. "wrecking ball" is one of the better songs of the year. i think she deserves it. >> i do agree that "wrecking ball" is a damn good song. >> let me clarify before i get all this hateful mail from mommy bloggers.

i'm only talking about the annoying ones. so if you're not annoying, i love you. >> you bailed out, didn't you? >> i was referring to the mommy blogger who made up that huge story about her child being bothered. i'm still mad at that. the one -- >> oh, mommy bloggers. >> miley cyrus -- miley cyrus is like ted bundy. ted bundy -- she was hannah montana, she was a wonderful person. she was great. my kids watched it on tv. and now they've got to watch her be a hooker. i mean, it's terrible. ted bundy started off as a nice kid and became a serial killer. >> why are you saying -- she's not a hooker. >> she looks like a hooker. >> and wait a minute. since when have you had anything against hookers? >> i don't have anything against them. i think they should be unionized, but that's beside the point. look what she's doing at santa claus. >> i will donate $1,000 to whatever charity you guys come up with if we don't have to talk about miley cyrus for the rest of the month. how about that? >> what year did people stop calling him santy claus and start calling him santa claus?

>> i like santa claus. >> i've always called him santy claus. and i still believe in him. >> aw. don't move. because the five of us have important tips on what not to do at the company christmas party this year, so stay right there. ♪ do they know it's christmas time at all ♪

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♪ jingle bell jingle bell ♪ jingle bell rock ♪ and jingle bells ring yeah, i love that song. it's christmastime, and it's time for another reminder of what not to do at your company christmas parties this year. something i know a good deal about. here are my five top picks. number one, make sure you know which women are married at the party so you don't hit on a married one, okay? number two, if your office does exchange gifts, don't open yours and say, man, this sucks! number three, don't talk about what you did on official business travel. for example, a guy's out there with another guy for the office, and they went out to a trip and they come back and he says to them, man, that massage parlor was hot, wasn't it? his wife was standing next to him. number four. don't complain about the fruitcake or use it as a bowling ball. in case it's the boss' wife's recipe. and number five, don't pat the human resources woman on the butt. >> it sounds like you have a

little experience at that. >> well, i don't know if she's from human resources or not, but i never understood what that meant. >> how about don't pat any woman on the butt? >> no, that's no fun. eric, do you pat women on the butt? >> oh, my gosh. >> no. >> you don't? >> i have two. i would say number one, definitely don't drink while you're at the party. don't drink before. there's plenty of time to drink or do whatever you're going to do after the party. and number two, whoever -- you bring your wife, your girlfriend, she's the only person in the world. >> leave with her? >> leave with her. also while you're there, she's the only person in the world. >> oh, yeah. >> that's not very fun at the holiday party. >> well, you know, holiday parties, i bet greg has a lot of experience at that. greg, have you -- what's your hints for what not to do? >> the worst thing i ever did at a chris pass party was when i shot that guy. >> that was horrible. >> trying to make an impression. when you're young and you get invited to one of these things, you think, oh, you know what? this is the time that my boss is really going to see who i'm really like. so you're going to wear something snazzy, maybe a novelty tie.

i'm going to wear a special tie. maybe i'll try to make some small talk. don't do that. don't do that. be as anonymous as possible. don't make an impression. better yet, don't go. i don't go to anything. >> dana, i bet you went to all your christmas parties and brought cookies for everybody, didn't you? >> the only thing i've been able to make is pot roast lately. here's my advice. don't go on an empty stomach because if you do have a drink, that could lead to a disaster. remember in "men's health" magazine, i used to tell people to eat 15 almonds or whatever before you go so you won't be that starving? >> you know why, though? if you're really skinny, the almonds look like abs. that's why we did it. that was the secret. >> an even number, then. >> yeah. and then you have two little nipples. those are the macadamia nuts. >> greg, thank you very much. andrea, andrea. what is the worst thing you ever did at a christmas party? >> i don't know. probably hit the dance floor after too many vodkas and sodas

or something like that, when i was younger. >> when you were younger? that's not true. >> probably. >> the worst thing i did, i was working at the white house. this is a true story. i passed out under the christmas tree in the green room. >> yeah? >> and i stayed there until 5:00 in the morning and then i got pulled out by the secret service. they didn't know i was under there. they said it's time for you to go home, mr. beckel. i said, what time is it? they said it's 5:00 in the morning. the day's just begun. >> have you ever confessed to anybody that you liked them? we had a couple confess, and they were actually engaging in pda and they became a couple. >> what does pda mean? >> public displays of affection. >> oh, they were? >> they were groping each other. she was like, i of you. >> human intelligence will get you for that. you're not supposed to grope. who came up with all the rules any way. >> the bigger question is, why is -- is mistletoe still allowed when you are encouraged not to take part if such things? in a weird way, it encourages

sexual harassment. >> that's a very good point. i think that should be put in the human intelligence rule book. >> human resources? >> by the way, have you all read it? i wish they would pull me up there one time and have a trial. >> they will. >> no, they won't. i have never done anything that would require me to go there. >> oh, really? >> uh huh. >> one more thing is up next. ♪

♪ we're not really on right now, bob, so keep talking. >> i'm sorry. it's time for "one more thing."

eric, you're up. >> last night, at the american country awars, race car drifr danica patrick like you have never seen her. ch check her out. dancing with show girls. >> is that her in the middle? >> right if the mn the middle. a little later erks took to the mike. made fun of herself. >> that was fun. i always wanted to do that. the good thing about me, no chance of a wardrobe malfunction. not much to malfunction. i hope that little bit didn't fall flat. >> so good sport. by the way, we call her a pro race car driver because she's not only nascar, she's still part of the indy car series. >> the worst thing about her is she has to put a helmet on when she works. you can't see her. she's beautiful. >> oh, i get it. >> okay. >> i guess when you can't race, you get racily.

all right. who is next? >> i'm next. i'm next. i have a "one more thing" that could have been a segment the. the republican national committee got together. thinking about the next convention. the conventions were late, around labor day. they're talking about moving it up to june of 2016. that would be the earliest convention. hold on. hold on to your hat. there really is a convention -- >> this segment is going to be hell. >> lots of cities are vying for it. the two front runners are kansas city and las vegas. >> and if i were you guys, i would go to las vegas. take care ras out to the chicken ranch. >> what could possibly go wrong at an rnc convention in vegas. i think it could be fun. they have a lot of hotel rooms and food. >> i'm team vegas. >> the timing of that story is important. it's a big issue. >> all the states are vying for

it. >> are those the finalists? >> they're considered the front-runners. >> i think it should be quakertown, pennsylvania. that's my choice. andrea? >> i was thinking about the 6-year-old kid and how they're telling him not to kiss girls on the hand. this is why they're telling boys not be boys and they get older and then they get older and women complain that men are not romantic. >> who would kiss a woman on the hand? >> a gentleman, bob. last night, jay leno had a chance to poke fun at obama care and can ya west. >> in a radio interview, kanye west said he wants to be the owe bah many of clothing. the obama of clothing. to achieve his goal, he's designing fashion that nobody wants and offering it on a website that doesn't work. >> i'm going to miss jay. >> all right, me. banned phrase for today is -- i

threw and automobile when dana said that if we -- she said she would pay $1,000 to the charity of my choice if i banned miley cyrus. the charity is svelte house boys of america. >> i want to see the irs paper work. >> there's a lot of paperwork. it's not irs if you know what i mean. gotta keep those floors dry. where am i? bob? >> how dangerous exercise is. and here's a prime example of it. a woman jogging in virginia, she was jogging along six miles, and a deer hit her in the side of the head. she had to go to the hospital. now, you wonder how the deer got to the side of her head. an suv hit the deer, the deer went flying over the thing, hit the woman while she was jogging. don't jog where there are a lot of deer. don't jog anywhere.

it's bad for you. >> she was so cute. >> they couldn't get it, for some reason. the deer wasn't at the kind of deer. it was a buck. >> it was a deer. >> you know how many people get killed every year from hitting deers? >> how many? >> i don't know either. it's a lot. i'm trying to, because they gave us extra time, can we go back to miley cyrus? >> no. banned. >> we banned it. >> can we go back to victoria's secret? have i been the -- >> don't forget to set your dvr so you never miss an episode of "the five." we'll see you back here tomorrow. "special report" is up next. it's december 112th, a fox news alert. an urgent situation there at the international space station. a key system breaking now.

astronauts on board might have to perform a very risky fix. the sign language interpreter who said a whole lot of nothing at nelson mandela's memorial. supermodel. supermom. sparking a debate over a multitasking moment. "fox & friends first" starts right now. ♪ ♪ so in love good morning. you are watching "fox & friends first" on this thursday morning. >> thank you for starting your day with us. we begin with a fox news alert. a potentially serious situation on the space station.

amalfunctions. now the crew trying to restore pressure for the cooling system that keeps vital systems working, including life support. nasa says none of the six crew members are in danger. be an serious problem if it isn't resolved. if it isn't fixed on the inside a space balk like the one you saw in the movie "gravity" is a possibility. the repairs could take up to two weeks. >> shocking new video showing asiana emergency landing. it shows the plane tumbling down the runway before flipping into the air in a cloud of smoke. according to the investigation the pilot because quote very concerned about landing the bum bow jet without help from the runway's automatic warning systems which were out of service due to