welcome to "red eye." >> have the north koreans developed the most aircraft ever? we will show you what we are building to fight back. plus, is the president upset he read a spoiler for breaking bad before watching the ending? >> as i said earlier and i hillary pete, that's something i deeply regret. >> and finally a cat experiencing snow for the first time. we've got the emotional interview you won't want to miss. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> let's welcome our guests. she is cuter than a leopard cub with measles. i am here with entertainment

reporter jill dobson. and his favorite color is sadness. it is tv's andy levy. and what is that sweet, sweet smell of frosting-filled dough? fresh from a double shift of the cinnibon at concord c, jesse joyce. he is so sticky. and he is stronger than a truckload of hallogen lights. business editor liz mcdonald. she has a new book called skirting harris. the life and times of marjorie kemp. it comes out in may. that looks serious. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> that's a good question. what is that book about, liz? >> it is a true story about a woman who was almost burnt alive at the stake by the same man who executed joan of arc.

it is a true story. >> that is serious stuff. you are on the wrong show. i guess i can't make jokes about that. to the firs story. will his stare help obamacare. it is day whatever of -- >> obama-apacalypso gate. >> a new campaign featuring maroon 5 squeaker adam levine is aimed at getting people to sign up for their state's health care exchange. lisa leslie, fran dresher otherwise known as the nanny and cal penn who kicked off his contribution with a tweet reading "cover your dong and you will livelong." in fact, cover your whole sexy body, hash tag, get covered. the get covered campaign released this video featuring obama impersonator called alpha cat.

warning, this may be the worst thing you have ever seen in your life. >> ♪ no preexisting condition could ever make you listen ♪ ♪ tell a friend or random guy ♪ ♪ i have a game changer that saves lives ♪ ♪ don't stand a little on my health care dizzle. ♪ while you figure that out smote. ♪ ♪ when i'm in the oval office ♪ ♪ call him president barak ♪ president barak >> you can't say you weren't warned. here is adam levine siping his latest song. adam levine is in the studio and everything is off. his clothes are off and the make up is a mouth connected to a machine. it is kind of erotic. >> i think he is sexier there in my opinion. >> he is the sexiest man alive when he looks like that. liz, welcome to the program. >> glad to be back. >> i'm glad you are here. we

were talking earlier. you have a big problem with adam levine selling obamacare. >> he is the sexiest man alive and obamacare is the biggest buzz kill. by the way, he is the guy who said i hate this country on an open mic, right? what i have a problem with is our tax dollars of course going toward this propaganda and i think they should have disclosures at the bottom of these ads saying they should pay the mandate tax. all of these celebrities. >> all should have to be in obamacare. they are not artists. they are propagandas. jill, it has been a longtime. what a pleasure seeing you. >> what a pleasure seeing you as well. >> well, i was president really sincere. >> that was the easiest throw i have ever had. >> could this persuade you? you are a woman and women are often shallow creatures toward

adam levine. would this convince you? >> of course not. i don't even think they expect people to be convinced. they are hoping it will get the word out. i am a little more interested in adam levine's twitter war. he bashed someone and said they weren't really an artist. she said, you must mean me the i'm angry. it is a twitter feud. that's what we need to talk about. >> jesse, when you and the girls at red robin take your smoking breaks out back behind the dumpster were you excited about adam levine and obamacare? >> yeah, i have to pretend what i am talking about when i am hanging out with 16-year-olds at the dumpster. how did i get from the newark terminal c -- >> you have a lot of jobs. >> i am a hard worker. >> none of them are particularly noteworthy. >> you are starting to reseek kill them. recycle them.

>> i don't care what celebrities think. i think for fun we should do a debate between adam levine who is in favor of obamacare who is also people's sexiest man with ted nugent who is against obamacare who is as we know squirrel recipe magazine's sexiest man. >> actually i would watch that. that would be fantastic. i don't know who i would root for. i get nugent. >> i feel you would definitely go for nugent. he has been anti-squirrel. >> squirrels have had their run. i think it is time we take the world back from the squirrel. andy, it is impeachment time, isn't it? >> it is absolutely impeachment time. >> you have been saying this since 2007. >> and finally i am worn out here. adam levine, come on. leave fran dreshir out of this. when the celebrities first launched you had lady gaga and amy poehler and alicia keys

and carrie washington, pearl jam and they were called involved of the now none of them are working and you get value val kem and wilmer valderama. >> wilmer? >> the twitoshpere is going crazy. they say that's where the idea came from that they should disclose the celebrities who disclose if they are participating in obamacare. the thing is the obama cover girl quit, the ad girl quit. do the celebrities know she quit for a reason and that's because of the reaction to it. and the drum beat that the president wants, really fran dreshir, you want that dialogue? >> i find her kind of attractive. >> she is dpun knee, but -- >> i want to get back to wilmer. wilmer is the big story. >> i want to say real fast that fran dreshir was dental

hygenist magazine's sexiest woman alive. >> she is kind of cues. kind of cute. it is the voice that is the problem. >> wilmer did nem obamacare. -- obamacare. he did take lyndsay lohan's virginity. >> and he is not getting any through his employer so he probably does need this. i do want to correct you on one thing. as much as i loathe adam levine as any thinking person does, when he says i hate this country he was talking about because somebody won that he didn't like . >> he was talking about the reaction to the people voting. >> it was a joke. >> but then later he said i really hate america because the country is awful. >> do we have that tape? no we don't have that tape. >> where is alec baldwin? why don't they dragoon him? >> i don't know, but i like that word though. i want to get away from this

story. did hearing voices muddy his voices? the south african sign language interpreter accused of being a fraud says he is a schizophrenic and said he saw angels do sending into the stadium as he, woulded the nelson mandela memorial. gesticulatig while huh louse nateing. >> what happened that day i don't know what i couldn't. i see engines come to the stadium and immediately i see engines come to the stadium. i will see things like chasing me and i was in a very, very, very difficult position. >> other good news, the theater 4-year-old -- the 34-year-old said he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and his longest stay in a mental institution was in 2006 for 19 months. two months longer than jesse. the south african government admitted it paid a bargain rate for the guy to a company which has since vanished into thin air.

it is a good time to go for the bargain when you have the biggest event in your history. for more let's 2 live to "red eye" senior foreign correspondent. >> talk about hallucinating. jesse, you can actually sign the words to every depeche mode song which you thought you would take up deaf goths in high school. does he deserve the condemnation he is receiving or is he a hero? >> it is not sign language. it is called air [bleep]. >> liz, you are laughing at that. >> i thought it was creative. who knew? >> i am owning the character he has created. >> what do you make of this guy? >> he reminds me of shaw --

shirrad small. but he can't speak languages, so why could we assume he could translate them with weird jerk off motions? he is not actually doing anything. >> that's your -- that's your -- >> i have to be perfectly honest and this is the only one i didn't write anything down for. >> i apologies. i apologize foregoing to you. >> i pulled it off anyway. >> barely of the you pulled it off like aing soggy bandaid. jill, this is the part of the story i love. he was paid $77 a day. that's a fraction of the usual rate of $125 to $164. >> an hour. that's what people usually get paid. >> why do they go cheap on a day the entire world is watching? >> i don't know and i don't understand the security. when i covered a fashion week event, and i am a major news reporter, but the first lady was attending and there was so much security.

i had to show my social security number. io get into that event. this guy shows up and is standing next to major international officials. >> he could have done -- he could have punched the president. i can't even get into dc when the president is there. he was this close. he was arm's length, liz. liz, i'm sure you have strong feelings about this. >> you know who is funny, the british press say he was signing some words. some of the words that came up were words like pron or donkey or rocking horse pony. and then i'm thinking was he signing during the president's talk and then when the president was talking about congress? where did these words come from? i thought it was hilarious. >> maybe he was signing how he felt. maybe we are blaming him because he was expressing his feelings. >> i think he was signing what he saw. i see an angel and a rocking horse. >> who was the angel he saw?

>> he was not hallucinating when he saw angels. president obama was there. >> very good, very good. >> i think if you gesticulate enough you will eventually sign something. you will actually end up making sense the longer you -- >> but if you use that logic, if anybody started doing sign language you could communicate. >> right. >> it is logic. >> it is a heck of an interesting schizophrenic episode. they are usually not like -- >> the first sign there was a problem when he said that he spent 19 months in 2006 in a mental institution. that should have raised a red flag. >> that should definitely prevent you from getting on the world stage. you know what, he is going to become a reality tv star. he will become far more successful than all of us. >> good for him. >> god bless him. >> i hope he gets the help he needs because i care about people. that's what a lot of people say about me. there is greg. he cares about people.

>> they say we hope he gets the help he needs. >> since 2006. >> thank you very much for that. anyway, closed caption moment right now. closed caption guy says, jesse joyce stole his clothes from a dead hobo. >> what? i don't understand. i get where you are going with the joke, but what is the closed caption part of it? >> the closed caption guy says it. he has no choice. he has to type that in. >> oh, okay. all right. >> he doesn't get it, but i like it anyway. they want to erase hit at home base. major league baseball plans to get rid of catcher collisions possibly as soon as next year. there are rules being discussed and catchers would not be allowed to block the -- dish? block the dish? runners wouldn't be permitted to run them over. >> is that marine speak? is that jar head speak? >> i think that was a joke

about you not knowing sports terms is my guess. >> block the dish. i get it. it was supposed to be plate. many inside baseball agree it would be a touchdown for safety. the chairman of the rules committee says the move is -- the injury sustained by catchers and runners and, quote, general concern about concussions, end quote. let's look at game footage from last season. ♪ >> very disturbing game they are playing. >> first it is gay marriage. then it is dogs are allowed to play baseball. and you are not allowed to block the plate. >> obama's america. you know what it is, the wussification of obama's america.

you play pro baseball for a couple of years, so you should know about this. >> do you want me to actually answer the question? >> no, move to jill. jill, you sustained a head injury in the late 90s. i think it was the gasking tournament. the jousting tournament. do you understand the importance of perhaps banning this? >> i do. we keep hearing more and more things about concussions and especially with football how many problems it causes. so i am wondering how far it will go. i hear a sport like figure skating will be next. we will have the girls with the beautiful vera wang outfits spinning around and a helmet on their head. it will ruin the look of it. >> at the same time there is an entire world of fetish devoted to women in dresses with helmets. you can go to my website, women in helmets .org if you can still log on. >> says the guy who just put up a video of a japanese guy in a dog suit. >> you know, jesse, now that

you started speaking, you often collide with under age skateboarders. >> yes, i do. >> and they end up with head injuries. this is a rule whose time has come or time whose rule has come? >> [bleep you twice closed captioning guy. you just got him again. >> most major league ballplayers are on board this. except for yogi berra he had the moi's -- the most in an interview he had with a toaster. >> he had the most concussions so he talks to his toaster. >> that was good. liz, you love watching players get hurt. i have been told that many times. sometimes you go out of your way to hurt them. will you stopwatching baseball if they ban these collisions?

>> no, you know, listen -- boy you just showed footage of a catcher taking a shot to the jaw. but i get it that the catchers need protection. then i wonder is this where mayor michael bloomburg ended up? >> if he was running it there would be no baseball. >> what would they be doing? >> they would be walking around the diamond drinking like some kind of herbal tea. >> very small. >> i don't know, andy. you always tell me when you are catching you wear protection. do you feel that there is too much danger in baseball? >> usually i ask the pitchers to wear protection. it makes more sense. >> i don't understand that joke. >> this is a double on tandre. >> in 2010 the world series and in 2011 he was taken out at homeplate in may and in 2012 won the world series again with him back.

i think this is a smart move. jill, you brought up concussions, the science on concussions in the nfl is pretty dam frightening. it makes sense for baseball to try to eliminate the biggest chances players can have of getting a head injury. >> but don't you go home for hanukkah and hip check your nieces and nephews on the way to the refrigerator? >> yes, but they have pads on. >> that's a beautiful story, but we have to take a break. coming up, where should you put your money? liz mcdonald discusses her new book -- >> i am reading the tele prompter. >> the book title is called "i bury cats in my backyard and pay raccoons to guard it." is co-ed yoga growing? no, but we will still talk about it.

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because it was make believe? a pennsylvania boy, is there any other kind, was suspended from school. it was for pretending to shoot his pal with an imaginary bow and arrow. only fox news puts little before kids to tell you they are little. little johnny jones using a gesture with a number two pencil to pretend he was shooting a gun. the school said he broke the zero tolerance policy against weapons. while they are fighting, harmless puppy wrestling is as dangerous as ever. >> it looked like a slinky.

>> yes, it is called a slinky move. just roll them down. they made a great stew. jill, you said not only should this child be suspended in the green room, but he should be put in jail. >> yes, treason. >> wow. >> i am thinking he made a hand jesture and now he is suspended. when i went to school there was only one hand jesture that might get you sent to the prips -- principal's office and that's it. >> don't say what it was, jesse. you still play pretend bow and arrow in the parking lot outside the movie theater you usher at. could the real thing be next? are they heading off potentially dangerous behavior? >> in fairness, this kid was not mimicking a bow and aero. he was signing -- a bow and arrow. he was signing obama's -- no, he doesn't know sign language.

how far back do you want to go with this [bleep] banning and he was using a real pencil. a bow and arrow is 18,000 years old, 16,000 bc the first usage of the bow and aero. arrow. do you know what the weapon was before that? >> sharp sticks. >> sharp sticks. he was using a pencil. >> actually the pencil is more of a weapon. >> that's my point. you drew the line at 16,000 bc. 16001bc pencils were a sharp 6. >> i understand, but i am confused. that was strange. i felt like i was sitting on a bus next to a weird guy telling you about pencils and you couldn't get away from him and he just kept talking. >> can i make the same point as jesse, but in a different way? >> sure. >> let me tell you why this bothers me. it is not just the kid

shooting the bow and arrow, but it was a number two pencil. number two pencil can stab an eye out or puncture an area drum or possibly shoved up a news and puncture a brain. when i was in school a kid stabbed me in the hand and i still have discoloration where the lead went -- led went in. zero tolerance. >> that's what jesse said, but more coherent. >> and i taught everybody something about history. >> it was riveting. >> it was history via wick caw peaked yaw and then poorly articulated by a comic in a shirt. >> but i do like his point. the mandela guy gets paid and this kid is suspended. >> i would like to point out that i premised everybody else's talking point. >> the teacher, that's a blackboard and the kids go like this. why didn't the kids just go

like that? >> why are we conditions our kids -- what is this about? what is this about trying to -- what is this? if i was a parent i would be mad at that. >> i don't think it is fully black. >> it is slate gray. >> why not call it a slate board, why not a blackboard? >> don't these school administrators watch the news? don't they see how stupid they look every day when they report the zero tolerance stories? >> they say i bet i could get on one of their shows. >> by the way, when the kid's parents named him, were this they put -- were they put on the spot? john deo. >> can you imagine getting the phone call? what did he do? made a gesture? he is suspended? >> i wonder if i acted the way i account aed when i was six

years old which was 1970 i would probably be in jail. i think i shot six people. >> i don't know tbow act that way, but you are the same size. >> i set you up because i felt bad. >> about what? >> about your shirt. >> i don't feel bad about my shirt. i'm fine with it. >> that's what is so strange. >> a lot of people would feel bad in that shirt. you tend to pull it off. >> i am all right. >> it is a sense of misery. it is unaccustomed to in the modern era. >> sweet. i am not the only one who just rambled no where. >> coming up, the c block. tonight, c block, sponsored by auroras. those natural, electric phenomenons characterized by the appearance of streamers. usually near the northern or southern magnetic pole. thanks, auroras. >> you're welcome, greg.

>> coming up, nude pictures of carla bruni, somewhere, not here, but somewhere.

it's chicks and dudes and they are in the nudes. i speak of a new york yoga studio, is there any other kind, liz? they proo every -- they

previously specialized in naked yoga. it is time for -- all new c block. >> if we have one more second we all could have been naked when we came back out of that. >> that would have been hilarious. >> i was trying, but the mic got in the way. >> it would take jesse hours because he wears 17 layers. all right, what's the story? it is called la male yoga which has rebranded itself as bold and naked. now it will offer all female nude classes as well as some for co-ed groups and seniors. the owner of the sans clothing spot says, quote, if you are looking for an orgasim, you are in the wrong place. i know it is always on people's mind and i want you to know that yoga has nothing to do with sex at all. would you consider doing

something like this with your very handsome husband? >> i was thinking the only way i would do nude yoga was annie lisa wits was photographing me for the cover of "vanity fair" and i was giselle. otherwise no. >> well that won't happen, but i can get a guy to take pictures of you in the back of the trailer. >> and he can call you giselle. >> as long as he tells me i am pretty. >> it is coral magazine. >> liz, do you think this kind of thing will be a hit or just attract peepers and pervs? >> is this going to be open to the public? good god. >> you have to call ahead. >> i love how they rationalize saying it is sen shoe walt and not sexuality. if you want to heighten your awareness go behind somebody doing downward dog.

>> that is disgusting. >> it is disgusting of the. >> jesse, it seems like he should be worried about people like you. you would sign up with an exercise class with the goal of looking at them. and you would dress exactly like that. you wouldn't even try to fit in. you would stand there in the middle of yoga in your 14-layer ensemble. it is a big foot from miller's out post. people remember miller's outpost. >> i don't seem to. >> it was a clothing store that sold clothes. >> you are turning into jimminy glitz. >> as it gets toward the end of the week and you are on your 9th show, things start falling apart. i am like sky lab, you know? i am going through the atmosphere and things are falling off me. i am not making any sense.

>> jesse, you work in a pretzel store? the 55-year-old and up geriatric male anatomy is not conducive to yoga poses. why don't you call this class so you want to [bleep] yourself. >> i think that's a reality show. andy, you told me you signed up for classes for research purposes, and i think that's brilliant. >> i think i am brilliant. remember that seinfield when there was good naked and bad naked? this is going to be a lot of bad naked. i don't think you will get -- awkward positions, unflattering aping gels and it sounds very unsexy. >> didn't naked yoga break up kim kardashian's marriage with with -- marriage? >> if you are standing naked in a room you can only be

arrested for exposure. the moment you stretch it is naked yoga. if you are being approached by a police officer because you are naked all you have to do is do like a weird stretch and you say no, it is naked yoga. does that make sense? >> are you advocating walking around naked saying i am doing naked yoga on the street? >> i don't advocate that. i encourage it, but i don't advocate it. there is no such thing as good naked. all naked is bad naked of the. >> unless it is in the dark. >> the human body is grotesque. let's be honest. unless you are between the ages of 18 and 22. >> i will prove it to you afterwards. >> let's take yoga. >> the new york times reports nude peck tours, part of the nude c block, of former french lady carla broonie. they were used to break into the computer system of many diplomats. it was discovered at the g-20 sum met.

the message sent read, quote, to see naked pictures click here. but it turned out it was a trojan horse with an embedded virus that affected the computers of senior officials and forwarded the e-mails to others. said a government source, of everyone who received the e-mail, they took the bait. the real point is they are all horn knee, desperate scam pes. >> i just wonder if she feels a little like it is a compliment. they could have said any name there. they could have said kim kardashian or cameron diaz. does she feel good? this is all might have husband's co-workers and cohorts. they have been to my home for dinner. >> it worked because they knew her. they couldn't use kardashian because they said i can already see the sex tape of her anywhere, but carla brunie, i will see her tomorrow and i can put it in the old bank.

jesse, this happens to you a lot. you are suckered when they offer nude pictures of sharon osbourne and you can't help yourself. what is that? can't you just control yourself? >> the worse part is it is by regular mail. i get it in my mailbox when i open it. what scares me is that world leaders apparently don't know how to google -- leak she is nude all the time. you literally -- i put into google carla and it was like, do you want to see her naked? >> unfortunately it is the wait wait -- waitress from "cheers." >> why unfortunately? >> she is too hot to look at. >> danny devito's twin brother. >> i hope they are steel together. >> no, they are not. >> they were like the perfect hollywood couple. anyway, liz, i am broken up about that and i don't know if i can go any further. the u.s. wasn't fooled by this. we are just smarter than

everybody else. or are we better at porn? >> or not doing naked yoga and getting a grip. >> or getting a grip in other ways. >> i love this story because it came from china. it is genius who ever did this virus. they played on all of the whatever. >> they know what they are doing. >> they know what they are doing. >> i'm thinking raise immigration for these guys. get them from china to here. i thought it was brilliant. >> it is a highly skilled immigrant. you clicked on free pics of hairless cats. that's disgusting. i don't know what else to say. >> i'm sorry i'm here to be quite hahn mess. honest. you have to blame the victims on this one. this is fishing 101 and that's why you don't click on attachments. i'm guessing the reason we didn't get -- the americans didn't get caught by this, we have better spam filters. the story here is why didn't these e-mails go to the spam filters?

>> or the government is so stupidly freaked out about sex and sex scandals. >> what does spam stand for? >> it doesn't stand for anything. >> i don't know. >> glad i killed the mood with that question. >> this is supposed to be naked c block. >> i know and i brought up spam. >> sometimes i eat spam in the nude. don't cook the spam when you are naked because there is splatter. >> this is why you don't think nakedness is sexy. >> you have your fetishes, but you always tell people don't do this. it is like their fetishes are a problem? >> my fetishes are clever and interesting and involve all sorts of things. you guys are too predictable. it is time to take a break. don't leave. there is more stuff to talk about. by the way, my new book is called not cool, the greatest book ever written coming out in march. pre order it at all book retailers. frankly, you make me sick to my stomach. go to my website, g gutfeld.com.

order 16 and you can get 16 for the same price.

>> what are you doing over there? >> she stealing my jokes. >> my goodness. why would anybody do that? might as well rob a tbraif yard. embrave yard. sorry about that. does taking a pic make your brain stick? a study shows taking a lot of photos stops your brain from forming memories. a little science block here. researchers took students to a museum, what are those, and had them take pictures of exhibits and just observe. when they tested them the next day the students had a harder time recognizing the works they photographed than the ones they just looked at. she says x people so often without their cameras almost mindlessly. when people rely on technology and for them it could have a negative impact on how well they remember their experiences.

typical. she hasn't changed at all. jill, are you buying this or not buying it? you only have two options. >> i am buying it and i am adding. i would like to buy a vowel here. not only do i not remember the moment, but i don't even experience the experience. everybody stand this way and look at me. instead of just enjoying the party or eastbound aring the party i am cor yaw graphing -- cor row graphing the party. >> i am sick of picture takers. >> i am awful, but my photo album is glorious. >> nobody has photo albums because they don't take them off my -- off their camera. >> the one i will make one day is glorious. >> does it matter if we don't remember them because we have the pictures. you say i don't need to keep this stuff in my brain. >> i agree with jill. i hear what you are saying. i didn't believe the study at first and now i think i agree with it. to me all of the selfies 2ing

on and all of the peck tour taking is like hoarding in a form. it is doing a lot of that of the something in your computer with all of these things. >> if you take a picture of your own body do you forget what you look like? >> let's ask anthony wiener. do you think anthony wiener did? >> everybody is throwing their papers away. >> i wonder if people who take a lot of selfies for get what they look like? >> you know what this means? anthony wiener has no idea what his] bleep [looks like. >> i killed two jokes. >> that is amazing. >> yours was good. >> yours was better. >> but at least i came out with it instantaneously. >> so did i. it was a couple hours ago. >> i had no idea. you should have warned me. greg, i have a mediocre joke. >> i shouldn't have to warn you about that. >> do you have anything else

you have to say? >> can it be used as a therapy? you quickly take a picture and then you won't remember what happened to you. >> and police can catch the perp. >> it is good forgetting rid of ptsd. >> that's an interesting point. >> i'd like to photograph this [bleep] conversation. >> that's why we are taping it. we never have to hear it again. >> the viewers will remember this. >> it will be in classed captioning. >> -- closed captioning. >> people were scared of writing things down. historic. you would like this, jesse as a historian. people didn't like writing things down because they thought it would prevent you from remembering things. the whole idea of writing was bad. >> i don't know where i got that. >> i don't believe it. >> i think i dreamt it. sometimes i dream everything i think i know and then it turns out it never really happened. >> hash tag my thoughts are

facts. do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us. do you have a video of your animal doing something? i hope so. go to fox news.com/red eye. click on submit a video or submit a click on video and we might use it. coming up, we will talk about mars, the planet.

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"red eye" airs on saturday. we have jedediah bila and tucker carlson. >> that's a much better looking group than this one. >> are you terrible. >> let's take a selfie. >> that's saturday 11:00 p.m. eastern and 8:00 p.m. pacific. >> e block. last story. that's the last story. they have come to grips with a one-way trip. they say more than 200,000 people have signed up to be perspective astronauts on a manned mission to mars. that's more than those that sign up for obamacare. was that one of your jokes? >> that's my joke. >> anyway, the mars one foundation plans to send an unmanned mission to the red planet in 2018 followed by

four earth lings. the return flight doesn't exist. much like a weekend at lou daabs house, there is not much point of going there. >> you would still make jokes so i will yield to jesse. >> okay, yield to jesse. >> this is like a game show. >> i try to steal your joke. this is called pass. >> i need a lifeline. >> people just go around and never answer. >> can i call a friend because you stole my joke? >> want a [bleep] joke? >> that would be jesse joyce's response. it is a reality show. do people just do it to get famous? >> what i think is weird is they are signing up to do it 12 years from now. what person is better equiped to handle space travel -- do they not know how aging works? go to siping go pour and --

singapore and that is 18 hours and then say i am better equiped to handle this in 12 years. that's a crazy idea. >> it is crazy. what do you make of it, crazy? >> i think the reality show should be called watch four people die on mars. among the things they will try to do is how to create water so they have water while they are there. so this little machine breaks you are using to make water. >> and then you will be drinking the water you make. andy, this is the exception. you have nothing to lose. there is no one here holding you back. >> i was all set to go and then i realized the colony would be crowded with their three other people. thank you, no. not interested. >> i think it is insulting to who ever created the universe. we are on the best planet. let's face it, this is the best planet there is. we have all of the great stuff. we have ipods and marcupials and stuff.

why would you go to mars? hey, god, i am going to check out this lifeless hell pit you created like a hundred miles away. >> you get to pick who goes with you? >> probably not. >> there is a lot of scientific problems with that statement. >> i think i pretty much nailed it. >> god gave us ipods and marsupials. >> in a weird way. >> and mars is a hundred miles away. >> bacon. where can people find your book? >> amazon.com, wal-mart.com. you can pre order it right now. thank you for that. >> how long has it been out? >> may 2014. planing a book tour in england. >> i am excited about this. and it has the word skirting in it. >> true story. >> i don't want to make fun of it. >> you can do whatever you want. >> by the way, if you tweet from mars because of the distance it would take some time to get here. that means by the time you tweeted other people could have tweeted that joke and you look like the joksie. another reason not to go.

>> we have to go. that was an interesting point. jill dobson, jesse joyce, tv's andy levy, mcdonalds, is it your dad's birthday? >> my dad's birthday. >> hi. bye.

hello everyone. i'm dana perino. it's 5:00 and this is "the five." obama care doesn't have much appeal to the american people. the white house is trying to change that by bringing in the so called sexiest man a live. no not greg gutfeld. no. to turn the tide, they went to, that's right. maroon 5 singer adam levine to kick off a new social media campaign to try to get other people to enroll along with some other stars.