alberto. >> have they come up with a cheese burger to help you lose weight? we will show you the science behind a hot new dieting trend. how long did the president and his bp waste on a trip to bed, bath and beyond? >> we spent close to an hour in there looking at the -- looking at everything there was to see. >> and finally, the tragic tale of a dog whose brain won't let him stop popping balloons. our panel has tips on how to protect your canine from this horrible disease. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> beautiful. >> and now let's welcome our guests. she is so hot that smoky the bear keeps trying to put her out.

ms. new york, usa. and he is just waiting to die. it is tv's andy levy. i think he is almost there. and from the daily caller, senior editor jaime weinstein. come on, call yourself james. and next to me, noted comedian and story teller, tom shillue. his latest comedy album is called "don't force it." i have six copies and i sleep under them in the park. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story.

h lets lepause and take a look at his work. >> which they have been honoring and remembering the memory of nelson mandela since he passed away. we applaud you and thank you for that. >> they are exactly the seam hand movements, uh -- the same hand movements. the gentlemen is a fake and he has no real clue about sign lapping wedge and he is obviously upset. the south of a can government has said they were looking into the matter which means get lost. it is not our fault. meanwhile, in russia. you. >> a guy fell out. she doing fine. in russia he is dead, but he

is doing fine. tom x, this is an amazing story to me. it could be the story of the year. >> it is a heartwarming story. >> why is it a heartwarming story? >> i don't think this guyment anything wrong. i think he is a fine guy. they asked him to get on the stage. i don't think he even knows what sign language is or it is a language or there are deaf people in the world. he just knows he has seen a lot of speeches and there is always somebody next to the guy going like this. they said you stand next to him and he said owe expai did all of those -- and he did all of those things he saw being done. >> or somebody canceled. this is my theory. somebody canceled at the last minute. and he was a friend of a friend and they said can you do this? they have to have somebody on there. that's what is ridiculous. i play a lot of colleges and they always have somebody doing this. it is terrible. it is a lot of visual clutter. it is a language, okay? i actually think it is a good language. it has its place. but it doesn't need to be there all the time at every

speech. we don't have, you know, a interpreter for the blind at the ballet. oh she is on her toes. she is going higher. she is spinning around. we don't have that. >> is there a signage for digging a hole like you just did? >> it is cool that you think you should decide when deaf people should hear speeches. >> yes. andy, you make my point perfectly. >> i don't think that was my idea. >> my analogy for the ballet is apt. we don't have someone yelling at the ballet. he is throwing her in the air now. >> it is different. >> andy would say, that's wrong. you want to deprive the blind people from hearing. >> i believe they have things -- i don't know if they have had at the ballet, but they have earphones people can wear. >> it is a play by play. >> well deaf people should get a screen. we have a lot of screens. >> they have closed captioning. >> you know what would be funny because they are closed

captioning right now in a bar. watch this. i am the closed caption guy. i hate that guy in the zipper sweater. i am going to stop closed captioning and just talk about how much i hate that guy in the zipper sweater. i am getting the guy in trouble right now. >> you are really a jerk. joanne, i don't know what happened there. here is a scary thing to me. how easy is that that he could get by the president of the united states? >> i need extensive background checks to apply for an apartment that is not next to the president. i just don't understand what cracks he got through, you know? he is actually south africa's catcher for their baseball team. he was doing a lot of -- >> there you go. >> it was the same exact movement. >> it was more like an air traffic controller. it was like ushering -- >> i thought -- here is the thing. i think he could have pulled it off. most people didn't notice it.

is this how you go after a world leader? could this have been a dry run? >> i think most people didn't notice because most people president are deaf. probably deaf people noticed it. there is a danger aspect of this. as you said, the security concern that the guy got in. i have my own theory which is different from yours. this is like third world cleptocrisy. this is what happens and the president's brother's buddy needed a job. oh we need a sign language interpreter. this guy has done it more than once. this is not the first time. it is given to some guy whether he knows how to do it or not because the brother's buddy needed a job and that's how he got there. >> andy, earlier today "the today show" i don't know from you familiar with it. it is on in the morning. you are usually out gallavanting with your cats. they had some fun with this bizarre story. it got a little ugly. >> he is just repeating the same gestures over and over. the question now is who is the

guy and how did he get there? nbc news reached out to the british deaf association and they told us the same thing. >> do we want to reach out to the american deaf association? >> no, guys, let's not do that. >> no, no, wrong. >> that is horrific. >> you know what is interesting going on there? i don't know if they notice it is offensive, but they say it is going to lead to an apology. oh my god i am deeply offended. oh no, we have to apologize. stop now, we have to apologize. and, andy, they apologized. >> of course they did. here is the difference between the real fake guy and the fake fake guy. the real fake guy, that was funny. i know it wasn't funny in a sense it deprived deaf people from knowing what was going on and if i was deaf i would be pissed, but the guy looked all serious. did you see the motion he made when the south african president said mandela passed away? >> no.

>> he went like this. he did a throat cutting thing for passed away. >> that might be. >> no. >> i don't know. >> i don't think it is. >> that might be from an old school signage -- maybe it is slang. >> i don't think so. >> none of us here know anything about sign language. >> i know a little bit. >> oh god, please. >> i said i know how to play hockey, but i don't. but i somehow know -- >> do you know how to lie in different lapping wedges? languages? >> hire me. >> you know for all of us sitting here criticizing him, at the end of the day he had a front row view of history. he is going to have this forever. we are just going to be prattle in the sidelines compared to the picture he will have of him next to president obama and everyone else. >> maybe for you, but you i would not cheat my way into a historical event. >> also, can we put up the picture? you got a fake sign language interpreter next to a fake american.

i mean, how fitting is that? >> andy. you are going to get some meal tonight. some mail tonight jie. that is horrible, greg. >> it is. all right, here is my theory before we move on. i call it the gluten free theory. it is idiotic, but bear with me. say you are going to a country like south africa or say are you going to mexico or whatever and you sit in a restaurant and your wife goes, does this have any gluten in it because i am allergic to gluten. the waiter is like [bleep]. he talks to the chef and he is like this is like the third american that has said they have a gluten allergy. just tell them that we are gluten free. that's what happened here. they forgot to get a sign language interpreter and they said just get one. no one will notice. that's what they thought. they just lied. >> let me tell you why this may be the first time in history of the show you are --

your insane, idiotic idea may have a grain of truth. >> you said grain. that is gluten. >> sometimes it just happens, the humor. >> during apartheid there were two sign languages, one for whites and one for blacks. they now have a south african sign language, but only six accredited interpreters in the country of south african sign language. you may be kind of right in that they couldn't find somebody. >> maybe he is one of them and maybe all of the people who are complaining speak white sign language. maybe it is a bunch of racist deaf people. >> that's not the way it works. >> wait. if there are two separate kinds. >> now there is one they are trying to standardize, but the people who know that language say that's not what he is doing. >> i like to get five people together to talk about something we don't understand. and we have come to some meaningful conclusions. >> i am the closed captioning guy and i hate this show. and i am going to sopa closed -- stop right now. i will talk about my aunt betty.

she will -- he is going to get fired this guy. >> this is a great idea. you should do this wherever you go. it is just to get the closed captioning guy fired. he is an awful man. just go ahead and say. i am the closed captioning guy. i am a white supremacist. >> you are doing it. >> i am. >> they already fired the first guy. the second one is getting fired now. >> oh my god. all right. they spent -- i don't even want to do this story now. they spent 300nil on on next to nil. it is day who the hell cares of -- >>ypso gate. >> as the closed caption guy, it is kind of weird that i am dating an 8-year-old. this is an amazing story. even for the closed caption guy. oregon signed up only 44

people, only 44 people for insurance through november after spending $300 million on its faith-based exchange. that's leak $30 million per -- that's like $30 million per person. this new report by the department of health and human services says the state had the fewest enrollees in the nation. enrollees? that sounds italian. it is like i will have six enrollees. >> i would like a sausage enrollee please. >> exactly. the lack of success comes despite taking in more money to build and promote the exchange in all but two states. and despite out reach efforts like this music video here. >> ♪ i will sing for the place that my heart is called home ♪ ♪ where the salty sea air ♪ meets the cold mountain snow ♪ ♪ i am free to be happy and healthy and strong ♪ ♪ live on in oregon ♪ long live the oregon spirit ♪ ♪ long live the oregon way

>> i am the closed caption guy and i hate that broad. that is sexist. i don't know about you, but that's pretty sexist. joanne, okay, that's like they should have given a million bucks to 300 people. >> i would have gladly taken that money. i could have done a lot of good with that. i could have paid a lot of hospital bills, for my friends, drug addicts, whatever. >> i like the way you think. it is very little. >> my biggest issue is long and oregon. it is oregon if you want to rhyme. isn't that what a song is supposed to do? >> that's a good point. you found the most important element of the story. >> that's really the only worth while thing to say. >> it is a real scandal. >> i am the closed caption guy and i am thinking about calling up that girl on "red eye." is that against company policy

if i do that? i mean, will anybody find out? maybe if i lie. i mean after all i do steal from the company. i am going milk this joke until it is no longer funny the probably is already not funny. >> that was about 30 seconds. >> tom, is that like -- this is a magical achievement that you can spend this much money on so little. >> i thought you meant the commercial. that was magical. >> i was looking at him and said tom. all right, i will go to you and you answer the question. >> did you see the commercial? the rainbow was shooting out of the dark cloud. i thought that was disturbing and weird. yes, this is ridiculous. young people are not going to sign up for obamacare. it doesn't matter what state you are in. everybody knows in your 20s you don't have any insurance. you are invincible. there is the commercial again. wonderful. and then as you become more comfortable with the fact you will die at some point, you add insurance.

now i am finally insured. i wasn't insured until i was theater 5. >> you are -- 35 jie. are you supposed to have cheap premiums and don't care. >> the idea is they thought young people would run out and buy this is ridiculous. it shows you how little respect these people have for young people. we will put on these stupid commercials and they will run out and buy something. >> they think they are stupid. i will ask you the question i asked tom because i thought i was asking you because i dropped my pen and that confuses me. this is like an achievement. the amount of money spent on so little, this is like the pyramid for big government. >> it is pretty amazing. in fact, the website doesn't actually work which is why they have such low enrollment. you have to use a paper application to get enrolled. i have a theory for this as well. >> does it involve gluten? >> no, but it involves our sign lapping wedge -- sign language guy.

they design websites which is why they are in disasterous shape. this also explodes another one of the president's arguments that even though the federal exchange website is working not as well, the state exchanges are working fantastic. we can see in oregon that's not exactly right either. >> andy, is the problem, and i think you will agree with me is that they are not spending enough? >> absolutely, greg. let me explain to you how the world works using a little thing called math. if spending 300 million leads to 44 people signing up and oregon's population is 3.9 million all have to do to get everyone to sign up is spend $26.6 trillion. this is scientific logic. something conservatives should look into if they want to join the reality-based community that is sadly comprised of liberal intellectuals like myself. >> and all we have to do is print more money. >> if you want to print more money, fine. just spend whatever you've got. spending $26 trillion, a small price to pay for health care. >> that's true. that's true.

>> joanne, you were nodding along or were you being polite? >> i was trying to do the math in my head. >> i did it like six times. >> when i don't know the answer i just nod. >> that's great. you are really good at nodding. tom? >> you have to spend more for the first 44 and that's where you have to put a lot of the up front money. after that it tapers off. >> that's what they will tell you, tom, but they won't tell you. they will get out back end. >> it is quality and not quantity. they are the right 44. they are the best 44. you don't want the other oregon people. >> you need the connectors. people who have a lot of people on social media. maybe they signed up people with a lot of twitter followers. >> that may be right. i don't know. i lost interest, but at least i am being honest. closed caption guy, hey. it has got to be a commercial. as a closed caption guy you know what that means. off come the pants, hanging out, looking at porn. >> was obama the 44th president? >> yes. >> and 44 people have signed

up? >> wow. >> something is going on here. >> i think you cracked the case, columbo or jewlumbo. >> help me collapsed caption guy. you -- closed caption guy. you are my only help. >> i called you jewlumbo. >> i didn't comment on it. >> maybe the closed caption guy will say it. finally somebody is speaking my lange -- language. the panel will exchange secret santa gifts. i got joanne gnaw a jar filled with my toe nail clippings. it is what you wanted! first, is time the pope of the year or is year the time of the pope? or the pope the year of the time? forget it. stupid mess.

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grades? it is actually a woman but the closed caption guy said babes because he is a pig. a study found better looking high schoolers have higher gpa's. the student rated as above average looking are what they called standing out from the crowd or ie, the gutfeld quotient had higher marks in school, but they concluded that super attractive types like me or john stossel don't have an extra advantage. for more let's go to "red eye" correspondent, fat cat. >> well, i guess there is truth in advertising and ended rather abruptly. joanne, you are hideous. doesn't getting hot help your grades? >> well, in high school i was the girl with the back brace.

so i don't really fall anywhere into this study. my good grades were not because of looks. it was because i was an over achiever with no friends. >> aren't they always like that? the hot girls leak she was, you -- like she was alone and -- >> but there is a study that says 82% of teachers have back brace fetishes. >> oh is that what it was? >> it might have had something to do with that. >> and that's all she wore which is amazingly disgusting that you would walk around in a back brace. where am i? do you think this idea holds true for both sexes or just women? >> probably for women, but i think there is a possibility they are not considering with this. maybe people in school find those who have high gpa's attractive of the maybe that's what makes the people attractive. >> have you been to high school? >> no. >> not in the last month. after that incident. >> i am not allowed within a hundred yards.

>> who isn't? tom i have a feeling that you have very strong, strong feelings about this. >> i do, but jaime took my theory. i think he is right. the thing is when you are very young you don't know who is good looking. i want you to open your yearbooks. look through and look at the gerls -- the girls you egg norred in -- you ignored in high school. they are as scrumptious as a piece of baby watson cheesecake. they are fantastic and you walked by them in the hallway. you don't know what is good looking. you can only go on who is popular and popularity is formed young when it is usually the smarter kids in the class. oftentimes the first and second of the class, the valedictorian is seen as nerdy and weird. but generally the top 20 in the class are the popular kids and that is why people think they are good looking. jaime, are you right. >> i actually don't even believe my own theory. i was trying to be counter

intuitive. >> when tom agrees with you he scares you. >> he convinced me the theory is wrong. >> it shows you what kind of icon know class i am. >> what about boys in high school? i will sometimes look at my yearbook and i will say what did i see -- or what did they see in him? >> go to your high school reunion and see the big men on campus have fallen the furthest. they still have the -- you can rec cog myself them from the high school face burkts the features are crowded to the middle. >> that's true. they rush to the center. >> they look like a parade float and their little head is trying to be tough. shillue, nice zipper sweater. but oh my head is huge! >> they are like parade floats. and they lumber around. oh that's so weird. andy, do you have a theory? >> not really. >> i'm scared of theories right now. >> what i thought was

interesting about this was it was about being above average looking and not about being gorgeous. there was no advantage to being impure jus. i maintain -- gorgeous. i maintain that we are actually discriminated against. people don't think it is possible that we could be smart. >> that's true. >> that's valid. >> isn't it? thank you. >> also, the person who conducted this study, they said they couldn't directly measure whether teachers gave better grades to better looking students. that's an important part of the study. >> the reason you do it. >> right. why did you do this study then? >> to talk to the hot student. this was all an exercise in perversion by some under grad -- some grad students in college or perhaps a professor. what he was doing was like, dude, he is telling his buddy at the campus pub, i got it figured out. get a grant, do it on the evolution of physical attraction and its effects on grades. and that means we get to talk

to the hot students. >> what happened is they tracked him after high school and they talk to parade floats. it totally backfired. >> but they did track them down. and it proves my point about the true big tbot tree in the world is attraction. ugly people get the short stick on everything. >> that's true. >> but i'm telling you in high school there is not that many ugly people. >> that's true. >> they all look great. >> they do because they are in the prime of their lives. that's why miley cyrus can run around naked. she is supposed to. she is 20. not when she is 60. i don't want to see that. >> definitely not. >> maybe i do. >> you are an ageist. >> i have had enough. the c-block is sponsored by bulldozer. look at that one. that's a powerful tractor. look at that broad upright blade in the front. it is fr clearing the ground. thanks bulldozers. >> you're welcome, greg. >> would you like a one-way

trip to mars? if you do, write the words yes mars in spaghetti sauce on your screen and nasa and myself will be contacting you shortly.

this is a fox news alert from america's news headquarters in new york. i'm andy levy. devastating news out of puerto rico where channing tatum has lost these abs.

the hunky male photographed on a beach with his wife and daughter and a fletchy tank tougher covering his once flexed stomach. he raised the question of whether there is a disappearance and poses a threat to america's national security. this has been a fox news alert. now back to short guy on panel already in progress. >> where did that come from? has there been any updates in the last four seconds? >> there have not been any updates since i read that, greg. >> all right. just checking. >> if there are i will break in. >> anything? >> not yet. >> okay. joanne, are you as heart broken as i am. >> greg, i am being told -- i kid. >> now i will never be able to finish this question. i am devastated by this. to me he was the icon of abdominals. what about you, joanne? are you heart broken? >> he looks like a regular guy now. man, i should say something

about the double standard and about women gaining weight and men and i just don't care enough. i still think he looks great the the -- looks great. just say you are doing it for a role. that's the perfect excuse. >> i say that all the time to the police officers. just doing it for a role. they put me in the car anyway and grab my clothing. >> jaime, should we be happy. generally when you gain weight you are happy. >> he is eating good food. i can't say i am an expert on chan tanning tatum. >> channing tatum. >> he doesn't look that bad. they are itching for a story here. it doesn't look like he is disshelfed. >> what? this is a fox news alert. >> and that is a fox. and it is news. and we are alerting. >> i thought fox news alert were supposed to come from the breaking news center and not from the -- >> you thought wrong, sir.

>> look, i think he looks fine. like a boxer -- >> priorities. >> at this point, you know what -- >> i am giving up. >> tom, here is my theory. i have a theory. abs are on the way out. tatum is a trend setter. he is planning a transition to a new body part. i am not sure what the body part is, but it will be great. >> do you know why they are on the way out? >> why? >> gay marriage. now that they can marry, they don't have to worry about abs. it was gay influence that people were so into abs. >> it is not the dumbest theory. >> it is brilliant. >> studies of marriage show that men and women gain weight once they get married. when i got married i gained 30 pounds. that's what happens. >> yes. and no married guy had abs. the gay guys had abs.

the married guys are like, i better do sit ups. now the gay guys are getting married and losing the abs. it is over. >> sad day. >> it is a sad day except channing day tunnel -- channing tatum is gay. >> the gay guys love him, right? >> i don't know. >> who on this show loves channing tatum? i have talked about this guy so much on this show and i have never seen him in a movie. but every time i am here we talk about him. >> you know why we talk about him? he is an icon. i like him. he is a strong, silent type. he is not scared to show his feelings while breaking some heads. under rated actor, "magic mike" was a solid film. i will give it a b plus and maybe an a minus in a couple years. >> do women like the tie with a bare chest? why do women like the tie with a bare chest? that looks dumb.

>> good point. >> he doesn't really have a neck. >> that is not a good look, is it? >> it is not a good look. shall we move on? kansas state board of education says students should learn cursive. they approved new hand writing standards as well as as mandatory back rubs from gym teachers. i had no idea. students are expected to learn to write cursive in the third grade and write legibly by the first grade. cursive advocates say brain science indicates the fluid motion used when writing script improves hand-eye coordination and develops better motor skills. this is an amazing story. it promotes reading and writing and cognitive skills. what about you? do you think this should be a requirement in the 29th century? >> no, just like mental math. you don't need to teach it with the advancements in

technology. you don't need any of this. you don't need third grade. >> you don't even need third grade? just go from second to fourth? yep. >> that's good. why not second to eighth? >> that's when you learn to share and have social skills. you should do some of that. >> it is so true. i bet when you drew cursive you did cute things like dot the i? >> with a heart. and sometimes i would let the boy i like do the heart. >> that's a little weird. tom, what is next? >> they are going to be eliminating all sorts of stuff like this, but they shouldn't. there is no reason to learn cursive, because you will not use. it you know what else you will use? latin. a lot of the best things -- you know what else is passee? reading. you don't need to read anymore. you have written two books. have you read any? i doubt it.

>> wow. >> people don't read anymore. it does president mean you -- doesn't mean you shouldn't learn to read? look at that steve jobs commencement where he talked about taking caw lig graw fee in high school and it not only changinged his life, but our lives because he worked it into the mac operating system. >> that's fan it is a -- fantastic. andy, your parents are teachers and you suck. i guess this means cursive writing is pointless. >> i will tell you why all-american school children should learn cursive. i will explain to the communists why this should be. you know what this is, greg? the constitution of the united states of america. the greatest document ever written by human hands. you know what it is written in? >> cursive. >> if it was good enough for the founding fathers it is good enough for knee dam it it is good enough for school children. >> print it and laminate it and wear it as a pin. >> i thought about doing that very thing, greg. i decided i am not a tool.

>> jaime, we are falling behind compared to other countries with names i can't recall. but we are falling behind those countries because i hear about it a lot on this very station. they are countries like that one and the other one, the big one, the big scary one over there, that one especially where the guys look funny. what do you make of this? >> recess is a more important than cursive class. we pr not leading international tests in math and science. maybe after we are sufficiently teaching the kids math and science we can discuss cursive. my favorite part of the story is some educators question whether cursive is necessary. some? we are in the age of technology. it is not. >> let me ask you a question. how do you sign your name if you can't write cursive? >> how do you write a check? >> an x. >> no you can't. i got a check sent back because i didn't write it

out. >> you can squiggly line and no one checks. >> if you go by what is necsary nobody should learn anything. art is not necessary, but obviously everybody should be learning it. >> that's true. he blew your theory away. >> i can answer this question. we should go back to signet rings where you stamp things with their name. that's my answer to that. you don't have to sign a check. >> i love jewelry. i am all about that. >> i like cursive. i used to dot my i with a hood. >> like your klan buddies. >> swree to take a break. terrible. more stuff is on the way. i got a new book, probably haven't heard about it, called not cool. it is coming out in march and you can pre order it. look at that cover. it is like a kiss album. you can go to my website g gutfeld, or you know what it looks like? the the -- the beginning of

bohemian rap sod de.

must he be pale if from the south pole? boy that is not even a rhyme. i was expecting it to rhyme. a writer at salon.com says santa should not be a white man anymore. >> slate. >> who did this today? iasha? is that right? >> at this point. >> america is less and less white. but a melanin deficient santa is from mall casting calls and movies. she suggests we create a new symbol of christmas cheer and from now on santa should be a penguin which is actually cute. harris writes making santa claus an animal instead of an old, white male -- why does everybody hate old, white males? could save kids the insecurity and the shame i remember from childhood. by i i mean me and not the writer. >> i thought you meant the

closed caption guy. >> the closed guy is saying this sucks. why couldn't i do the other thing? >> this guy is mixed up. santa is not a penguin. santa saved a penguin from the evil war lock and then melted the winter warlock's heart by giving him a chew chew toy. >> does she have a point? >> was that 6corimthians? >> she has a point. how can we spare millions the insecurity and shame i remember from my childhood. did she is insecurity and shame or did she develop the insecurity and shame in graduate school? >> it is that kind of thinking and it is elevated. it is indulged in college i will say. why is the default of our culture mainly because they

are mainly white people. why shouldn't we start to change -- why shouldn't we start to change that? >> we have other things to focus on. like male being the default, really i think santa is a woman. >> really? >> very organized. sneaky, going into your home. we stress eat and that's what the cookies are for and we need milk for calcium. that is the issue at hand. >> we have been living a complete lie. this is a woman who wrote this and she is sexist, although we don't know what sex the penguin is. do penguins have sexes? >> yes. >> they are gay. >> oh they are? >> the male penguins stay with the babies. >> the woman leaves. she walks off. >> if santa is to be an animal i appreciate it being a penguin. >> glad you are happy. jaime, why not give them abs and huge pecks while we are at it? >> it is disgusting. will the war on christmas never end? now they are going after

general santa claus? i am for making it a penguin because it is ridiculous and ridiculous things are funny and i like to laugh. so i am with mrs. iesha harris. let's make this a penguin. i think penguins #r* creepy. i can't tell if they are furry or slippery. >> they are slippery. there is fur. isn't there fur? >> it is a is slippery fur. >> it is not supposed to be slippery. >> it is slippery when wet. >> and so was bon jovi. >> can i solve this problem right here and right now? stop lying to your kids about where the damn presents come from. >> what do you mean? >> problem solved. >> there are people at home that have no idea what you are talking about. >> children are watching the show right now. >> yeah, there are a lot of kids watching. >> it is 3:00 a.m., i can say that. >> kids watching this at 3:00 a.m., that's the parents' fault so we can talk about santa and in an adult way.

santa is real. >> can't we add to santa's powers and make it that he appears to people however he want. white people can have a whitetaa black. women can have a female santa. or many can have one. >> that's what iesha's dad told her. >> she went to grad school. >> the problem is in our culture when we see white images of santa that would have to change. i know that would bother somebody like you. >> it wouldn't bother me. >> it would drive you crazy. it would absolutely drive you crazy. >> how about like groundhog day. like one day a year we spin a wheel and whatever color it comes on that year santa will be that color or that race or male or female? >> or make him or her purple. then nobody is worried about it. he or she is a different color from everyone. >> i don't like purple

people. >> you only like white people. >> no, just purple. >> it is everything but white. >> you don't like purple? i like purple because i like grape juice. >> you would. >> what does that mean? >> i don't know. >> why are you laughing at me because i like grape juice? grape juice is great. grape juice is more fun and when you were a kid you had orange juice or apple juice. so grape juice was a big deal. >> i like grape soda. >> that's two different things. do you have a comment? e-mail us. do you have a video of your animal doing something? go to fox news.com/red eye. we have times man of the year.

coming up tomorrow on the next "red eye" x jill dobson, jesse joyce and liz mcdonald. >> e block, last store, that's the last story. >> the pope beat the dope. it is the time of year for time's person of the year. aka, the day everybody remember there's is a ""time"

magazine" and only to forget again tomorrow. the pope was picked over whistle-blower snowden. francis has changed ther is exception and tone of the catholic church and stressing passion over condemnation over hot button issues like abortion, gays gays and contraception. tom, you claim to be a catholic. was the pope a good choice? >> oh wow. the press is now worried about the catholic church all of a sudden. they are concerned about what the pope is saying all of a sudden. they never were before. remember pope john paul ii talking about the evils of communism, shh. no. >> didn't he win person of the year one year? >> i think he did. >> well, the thing is they -- i think we can all agree, all right, joanne, that the press wasn't going crazy for john paul ii. >> it wasn't as big of a celebration. they didn't print his speeches

and talk about his new tone. john paul had a lot of things to say about communism. and then the current pope comes out and says one word, something he does president understand which is economics. he is clueless. i read that speech. they love the guy. >> because why? he said things paul kruggman agrees with. >> you know what -- i was reading the article and they said he is the obama of popes. he is the john mccain. the press is going to turn. just watch. >> the closed caption guy is thinking you are a jerk. joanne, who would you pick as person of the year? >> definitely not miley cyrus. i am very happy she didn't win. there has only ever been four women who have won this. i am just really glad it wasn't her. then again i view this as a pageant. there wasn't a lot of competition. you know what i'm saying? so the pope won, but there were no standouts today.

>> i could have won i think. >> just to clarify you said too many or too few women? >> okay. >> just trying to clarify. >> you are proving my point we need more. >> i just think the "time" editors are not aware the pope is against gay marriage. if they knew that he wouldn't have won. at the end of the gay the most significant person is a bad guy or the president of the united states who influences the news. everybody likes pope francis, but i don't think he was the most influential. >> it should have been snowden and not only did his whistle blowing unveil the lengths the u.s. goes to spy on its citizens he revealed a new alignment in poll i can its. politics. they don't think a free society should poke their noses into citizens private lives. on the other the usual big government and on the left some alleged proponents of small governments on the right

who now stand revealed as posers and fakes who in reality have no problem with the central government exercising whatever power it feels like. let's call them sheep and i thanked ward snowden for revealing the sheep in freedom lovers clothing. >> closed caption got fired again.

welcome to a big night tonight on "the kelly file." charles krauthammer live with an interesting, new explanation of what really went wrong with obamacare. plus, a new warning from surgeons tonight. >> we just don't know. they don't know what plans will be available, what services will be available. no one knows what will happen january 1st. >> dr. novak is here, in a "the kelly file" exclusive. and a special message from mistletoe madison. wait until you see how she's doing two weeks after she was told it's better to beg than to work without the proper paperwork. we start tonight with a