hello, hello, everyone. merry christmas. i'm andrea tantaros, with greg gutfeld, kimberly guilfoyle eric bolling, and bob beckel and this is "the five." we are so happy you could join us tonight. many of you are probably curled up by your fireplace drinking eggnog or exchanging gifts with family and we're going to exchange gifts with each other in say moment too. but some we want to talk about the worst gifts men and women give each other according to the washington post. the worst gifts women give to men. clothing like ties. that is always popular.

what else do we have here. anything gadgety. i thought guys like that. sports fan -- a watch. monthly grooming or a cheese tasting course. protein powder, who gets a guy that, or a couple mani-pedi. >> greg, have you seen any of these gifts from any women in your life. >> no. i'm lucky. and can i point out i'm seated next to the huge -- what are they called, point settia. if it wasn't for christmas, nobody would have them. they are the worst red monstrosity. the worst thing i ever gave a woman is hepatitis. >> you have given any of these gifts? >> sure, i've given clothing.

what else is there to give a guy? i've never given anyone a mani-pedi. though i'm tempted to get bob beckel one. >> and what made it on here, eric, a nose-tear trimmer. >> what are you trying to say? look, listen, there is no bad gift. whether it is a mani-pedi, or nose hair trimmer. >> would you go if you got a mani pedi. >> no. you say this is a wonderful thing. and then you put it in the closet. >> but the mani-pedi, no way. and who would go to a cheese tasting course? and a watch, first of all, somebody who got you a watch

would be $30,000 and i can't afford it. and the gadgets, you don't use it. anything that looks like a wrench is a damaget and you get something european style and it is centimeters instead of inches. >> one time i gave paul a helicopter flying kit. >> i think a cooking class where you can drink while you are cooking. doesn't that sound like fun? >> no. >> the problem that no one likes, they all smack of self-improvement. if you give somebody something that says it will help you, it is insulting. nobody wants to be told they need help at christmas. >> or a nose hair trimmer. >> the thing is supposed to be fun, a bottle of booze or sporting equipment and it should

never take up much room because if you hate it, you don't want to look at it. whatever is purchased needs to be fit in a draw so once you look at it, you put it away and never look at it. >> i can't tell you how many times i've gotten sports memorabilia that they have gotten wrong. they give -- i'm a redskins fan and they give me cowboy -- >> some are these are bad. a digital pedometer. a high-end scale. a toaster oven, a vacuum cleaner. how about no appliances. >> what is wrong with the vacuum. you ought to be using it more. >> actually i need a tool kit. >> everyone time someone comes to my house are they like, hey, do you have a screwdriver. >> i thought you were asking for

a drink. >> santa-themed lingerie. >> i'm okay with that. what is wrong with that? >> my parents gave my sister and i news little -- these little tool boxes for christmas and i ended up using the tool box for years. it had everything you needed in it when a guy was not around. >> that is a great >> and what about a teddy bear. >> that big teddy bear, the huge life-sized one, she put it in the backseat for like -- at valentine's day she put it in the backseat. and don't get a woman a diet book. are you out of your mind? >> that is a great way to break up. >> talk about a quiet night for yourself, that is it. >> or break up later. >> what about this, bob, cheap jewelry, if it turns her finger green, don't get it. >> well it doesn't turn green

for about a month. >> are you planning on dumping her in a month. >> i'm going to get this stuff and sell it out there. no, but the thing that bothers me, when they talk about a diet book, that is a problem. but when it said a teddy bear, how about just a teddy. >> it says that, santa-themed lingerie is one of the worst. >> i would push back on that being on the worst list. >> i would think it would be a wonderful thing to find under the tree. >> let's hope someone isn't receiving santa thaems lingerie. and up first, secret santa time to eric. >> but before you open it eric, we have to play this sound from earlier in the year. >> i had three years of pictures and videos, three years of great memories -- >> baseball. >> he all of my contacts.

at chase and it never sinked it -- synched it and i never backed it up and those are gone. and dana said, to all parents out there, sifrpg the phones -- sync the phones and make sure you do it in case you lose it or your car gets stolen. >> and so your car got stolen. so this should help you preserve the memories in the future. >> check it out. i've seen this. it is fantastic. i just have to put my iphone on it and it will sync the photos. >> and it prints them. >> i like the fact it has a little handle. you can take it with you where ever you want to go. >> that is an awesome, awesome gift. thank you. >> it depends on what kind of pictures you want to print from your phone. >> you cannot borrow this. >> don't let him near the photo

cube. >> who is up? >> to dana. >> look at doug. >> santa claus, all right. >> is it a dog themed thing? >> oh, pretty paper. >> look, it will fit me and greg. no it will fit the dog. i love it. this is so cute. you could really fit in there. >> it looks like a leg warmer for a fat person. i think there is another gift down there. >> is that for your dog? >> yes. you put the two legs through there and put it around like this and it is an american flag, see? >> yes. >> and freedom has the same one. >> they could get together and be twinsies. i'm seeing a jasper photo somewhere in the future. >> and there is another one that was misplaced and we'll find it. >> and we'll find it because christmas should last all year.

>> and are you ready, bob, from secret santa. >> who is my secret sant saw. >> guess what, it is me. and i thought long and hard about what to get you and i feel pretty good about this. i think you'll be happy. >> is it something i can show on television. >> yes. >> god, it's heavy. okay, helper. yes, please. [ laughter ] >> who is it from? [ laughter ] >> it is the new paper back of joy and hate. >> the pork scratcher. >> that is my latest book. >> if you haven't bought these yet, please do. a score card -- >> i like that one. >> i missed that one along the line. is everyone taking notes, if you

go to amazon they are available. and the bible of unspeakable truths by -- you got it, greg gutfeld. >> and i've ordered this new book for you and i've ordered it so you don't have to pay for it. >> i'll tell you how moved i am. these are going to take place right on the top shelf of my bookshelf. so go get these bhauz when the new been because when the new book comes out we'll promote it for six months. what is it called? >> it is called not cool. thank you very much. >> thank you very much. >> i couldn't resist it. >> this is to you. and this is from me. >> i love it, bob, you draped in a greek flag. can we get a close-up of this? i don't know where to put this. >> wow, how did you ever think of this. >> it says greek heavy weight boxing champ, bob beckel.

>> and there is another thing there. >> those are the flag. >> oopa. terrific. >> the greek flag is for you to put around you when you get in the boxing rink with me. and your very own greek boxing gloves. we have been boxing for seven years, geez it doesn't fit your hand. greg, can you do this? >> at first i thought it said greg. >> i know why it is -- because you always hit me on the leg. >> i do poke you when it is -- >> don't drop your flag. this country is in enough trouble as it is. >> okay, gregory. >> that looks like a serious present? >> this is something that would you get in a box.

how did you know i wanted paper? i love paper. >> it is beautiful paper. >> it is beautiful paper. oh. >> there you go. >> a t-shirt. you know i'm going to be wearing this. >> what does it say on the front? >> i'm going to wear it tomorrow and surprise him. >> show the back. the back is the best part. >> i finished second. >> greg, that is all right. >> greg, the original t-shirt i wanted to get you -- >> i'm sorry, go ahead. >> the real t-shirt i wanted to get you was adam levine basically naked. >> i think i have one. >> are they missing some down there. >> two more. >> they just slid them in. >> dana. >> and eric too.

can we swap those books for that? >> i would trade anything for those books. >> you can't exchange at christmas. >> this will provide hours and weeks of entertainment. a chia willie. well not that kind of a willie. >> by the way -- >> it grows a beard. he has a medical condition. >> we ordered this weeks prior to the controversy. >> that looks good. the chin grows. he's growing a beard. >> and who is this? that is another one, i'm guessing from you. >> are you sure you don't want to make a trade here. you get four for one. >> is that a statue? >> four for one, let's do the deal. let me see, what is this? i have a way out on this

someone. >> you bought something at brookstone. you were the first person to buy something from brookstone. >> i know. >> that is cute, bob. slippers, i mean comfortable shoo shoes. >> i thought i would give you something useful. >> they are temper pedic on the bottom and they are great when you finish the couple mani-pedi i'm getting for you. >> and let me say that those cost about one-one thousand of what your shoes cost. >> you have to go. >> a lot of hot movies out this christmas. we'll tell you which ones we're going to see and our favorite christmas movies of all time up next. favorite christmas movies of all time, coming up next. ♪ can you pretend with me

♪ imagine what you'd see ♪ if every child had a book to read ♪ ♪ so the mission is for us ♪ to get a book to each and every child ♪

♪ reading's fundamental ♪ ♪ so let's join hands, book people unite ♪ ♪ unearth hidden passion ♪ ♪ come on, we'll have a good time ♪ ♪ one book can be the fundamental thing ♪ / ♪ that helps to change a life ♪ book people unite read to a child today and spark a lifetime of ambition.

♪ >> welcome back to the fife's christmas special. a lot of you are heading to the movies this holiday. first up is my man ron burgundy

back in anchor man 2. here he is. >> did you see that, right on the lip? >> i am the new player -- the player's player. >> if you touch ron again, i will burn your face with a curling iron. >> then i'd be forced to drown you in a dirty fish tank. >> and do we have wall street queued up. >> this is the land of opportunity. >> you just tried to bribe a federal officer. >> this is america. >> this is my home. >> good for you, little man. >> little man. >> the show goes on. >> they are going to need to send in the national guard to take me out because i've not going nowhere. >> that looked good to me. and greg, what are your thoughts. >> well i don't need to see

anchorman 2. i've seen so much of it, i've seen it. and the one scene where he is dating a black woman, i'm tried of the white clumsy guy acting stupid in front of a black family. i expect more from -- what's his face. what is the question? >> will farrell. >> i don't like going to the movies during the holidays because people that don't go out suddenly go out because they don't know how to take care of themselves and they are talking to the movie screen and shouting and kids crying. i like to sit at only and cry. >> your favorite christmas movie. >> it is blue velvet with the classic david lynch movie. i'm not sure it is a christmas movie but for me it does because there is a lot of nitrous oxide. >> and dana? >> i like to watch movies at home so whatever is available on netflixs or apple tv or whatever it is that available.

i'll try to catch that. and also the grandchildren from scotland are coming, 7-year-old twins so we'll figure out where the disney channel is. and my favorite ever christmas movie ever, and greg, don't grunge -- grunk. >> that is not a real movie. >> and i love that. jeanne momma gave to me and i didn't watch it for the last few years and i think i'm doig he said he doesn't like to go to the movie theater because he can't see over the people if front of him. >> i can't stand to see people with baseball caps turned sideways and woman that [ inaudible ]. >> my favorite movie is wall street, and i want people to be

exposed to how bad the capital system has ripped off -- and only one of them went to jail and there are a lot more that should have. >> we give the movies the movie of all time and we talk about it while they roll the video. wall street -- >> you had a good one. >> my favorite christmas movie is miracle on 34th street. >> and i would agree with that, the best movie -- christmas movie ever. >> i never saw it. or a wonderful life. >> that is a good one. >> you haven't seen a wonderful life? you can see that any time and it would apply. >> the title is a lie. >> he'll get more use out of -- here is your next book. a terrible life. >> will you see a movie. >> i probably won't but i want

to see these when they come out. american buyer's hustle and the wolf of wall street and the guy was interviewed for vanity fair and it was fascinating about drugs and money -- it sounds like bob's life. >> they figured out a way to bilk small-time investors, not wealthy people out of a ton of money. that wolf of wall street is pretty darn accurate. >> your favorite movie? a white christmas. it is ac and rosemary clooney is great. >> and what was great was the lauerel and hardy one with the march of the soldiers. >> was that a movie? >> i don't know. >> can you walk around as grinch

in the neighborhood? >> i think i have the flu. i'm seeing two bobs. >> a great fun movie, and in the afternoon when you have something to do, watch fred claus. it is vince vaughn. but the brothers -- the famous brothers, there is steven baldwin, and that was clinton's brother roger, the boxer's brother as well -- rocky's brother. >> frank stallone. >> and they are all kind of like in an aa meeting, being the brother of a -- >> who doesn't love vince vaughn? >> kind of like grant beckel. he should be in that group. >> yes. he turned into a right wing because he listens to you guys. >> i just saw him in scandal.

he played a bereaved father. into coming up, not even christmas is sacred in the eyes of the president. and what he is asking people to do. and bob decks his home for the very last time and we follow him. bob decks his home for the final time. stick with power. stick with technology. get the new flexcare platinum from philips sonicare and save now. philips sonicare.

live from america's news headquarters, merry christmas. i'm lee land vitter. a reprieve for those signing up for obamacare. the ending was to be midnight this morning for coverage january 1st, and now the white house will grant another extension for those who couldn't sign up. relatives of jahi mcmass are

trying to give her a merry christmas. her family will wait until tomorrow on whether to remove her from life support. and don't blame santa if your christmas gifts hasn't arrived. ups and fedex say high demand caused them not to be able to make some deliveries. i'm leeland vitter. ♪ for the holiday, our president tweeted that for your christmas to be merry and bright, include a conversation about obamacare. which makes me wonder, would a republican do the same thing? for them politics is never personal. an ugly separate activity must do to keep the other guys from ruining your lives. think about it, if there was no republican party, your live would be run by the government.

and you can't is a that if the reverse were true f. there were no democrats, the republicans would stare awkwardly at each other and cancel government and go play golf in their under pants. but that is why obama would contaminate your life with public nuisance. and for mr. president, for your christmas, why not include a conversation on benghazi, "fast and furious," and discuss people losing their health insurance for no reason or the rampant cronyism in your government. wait, is that too unsavory for your dinner. you are right, it is. i wouldn't ask you to do that. i may be a weirdo, but i'm not a joke. >> andrea, when you go and meet with your family, is there anybody there that talks politic? s. >> gentlemen, obamacare did come up during thanksgiving and it

came up because he told us to talk about it and then it turned floor what a bad president he is and then we get angry and get drunk and say mean things to one another. >> and i feel bad for bob. because you don't drink. and the only solution when you are involved in a political thing, you drown in your sorrows. >> i'll be happy to talk about obamacare because millions of people are signing up. >> and most of them are signing up for medicaid. >> so president obama, you want to talk about obamacare. we'll talk about obamacare at christmas if you let us take pictures of what is going on behind the scenes at the white house. you are on vacation right now in hawaii and remember the first years he was surfing and golfing

and shaved ice. and now i would like to see what goes on behind the scenes. >> dana, are there some words you should avoid completely? >> at holiday dinners? >> yes. i think america needs a timeout, a political break. talk about different things. there are games you can get if you need a conversation starter because you can't think of anything to talk about besides politics, there are tools out there that can help you, i play this game where i get a bottle of wieb and i find a closet and i close the door and i drink the whole bottle. >> it is like seven minutes in heaven all by yourself. >> actually it is like four minutes in heaven. >> what about if food gets thrown at each other. >> maybe at your house. >> we're going out. and it is just me and peter so i don't think we'll talk about politics. we'll probably just talk about

jasper. >> he probably can't wait. any way, next, christmas is a time of giving. i've heard that. and dana went all the way to the congo to give you a look at an organization that is worth giving to. she'll take you behind the scenes of her africa trip coming up. scenes of her africa trip, coming up.

[ ship horn blows ] no, no, no! stop! humans. one day we're coming up with the theory of relativity, the next... not so much. but that's okay. you're covered with great ideas like optional better car replacement from liberty mutual insurance. total your car, and we give you the money to buy one a model year newer. learn about it at libertymutual.com. liberty mutual insurance. responsibility. what's your policy?

friends of the five will remember my husband and i went to visit a charitable mercy ship in congo. fox put this package together when we got back. >> well, getting ready to leave on a trip. jasper having a last scratch and

a shake. >> and off we went to africa on a more than 6,000 mile journey on the first mission to congo. we flew from new york to frankfort, germany and then to where the plane refueled and finally to our destination in the congo. shortly after we arrived, peter and i were greeted by don stevens and his wife deon. they launched their faith-based organization in 1998. >> i just wanted to welcome her for coming. >> over the past 30 years, mercy ships have visited more than 575 ports in 72 nations but it is the first time to the congo and they will be there for the next ten months. most people there zoept have

access to basic medical care and many haven't seen a doctor. on board the floating hospital, i met the man who steers the ship, the captain, and took a tour of the bridge. and i also met buck, the 180 pound training and drill dummy. and i got a tour of the kitchen with the head chef. he and his staff serve from 1200 to 1700 meals a day. when i go home, if i've gained any weight -- can i call and place. >> well you can call it mercy hips, instead of mercy ships. >> the encrew, including the doctors and nurses, are all volunteers, nearly half from the united states. and you never know who you might meet, including the team of six gurkas. believe me, the ship is in good

hands. on patient screening day more than 7,000 people lined up in hopes of getting care, all waiting patiently to be seen by the volunteers. allish and raw helps determine if doctors can treat them. >> hello. hi. do you want to come and have your lip fixed. >> she told me about the joy she feels when she knows she will send through mercy ships that can help. >> there is nothing that compares where you see a patient or a kid you know we are going to help. and being the first one and being able to say yes, it is saying yes to everything. >> but perhaps the of her job is when she has to inform others there may not be anything mercy ships can do for

them. >> the problem is his teeth is caused by a problem in his brain. so because of that, it is not something that a surgery can correct. >> over the next ten months, thousands will undergo surgeries to remove tumors, cleft lip repairs and orthopedics corrections and much more. >> one of the best moving things, when they are waking up, show them their face in a mirror, they are moved that the face that caused them shame, they can see it better even with the bandages on. >> there are so many angel as board the africa mercy, like chief medical officer dr. gary parker or surgeon mark shrine. i particular develop -- marvelled at how they work together and how devoted they are to helping others. a lot of people have asked me what was my deepest impression

from the week long trip in the congo with the mercy ships. it was a great reminder that kindness is at the heart of humanity and we could learn a lot from the people who make mercy ship missions possible. >> so that brings back great memories. and they just signed a contract for a new ship to be built, the largest charity ship ever. and donations have been flowing in from that report and in order to say thanks, peter and i gave a donation on behalf of the five for ten surgeries that will happen within the next ten months and we got a message from the ship. >> on behalf of the crew of the africa mercy and all mercy ships, we want to thank the five for their participation and interest in us and wish you a very merry christmas. >> i think she's so cute. >> i love it when people make donations on behalf of me? >> because then you don't have

to. then you don't get to claim it with the irs. >> i think it is a wonderful thing that you did, but these people will see their christmas themselves. they'll be spending their christmas helping people. >> i think christmas on the mercy ships might be one of the most wonderful joyous occasions. >> and hats off to you for doing that. >> and thank you for the support and for the fox support. we appreciate it. and coming up, don't miss bob's last christmas light show in maryland. trust me, it is not something you want to miss. christmas at bob's is coming up next. ♪ ♪ i know they say you can't go home again ♪ ♪ ♪ i just had to come back one last time ♪

♪ ♪ you leave home, you move on [ squeals ] ♪ andou do the best you can ♪ i got lostin this o♪ ♪ and forgot who i am

♪ many of you know i look forward to decorating my house in maryland. every christmas, it's been an annual tradition, but i'm going to be decorating my apartment in manhatten from now on. so watch it next year, it will

be the lightest apartment in all of manhatten. the cameras followed me as i hung up my legs for the last time. and here we go. it is the end of an era. >> another day, another christmas. all righty. you know, i'll tell you, i've been doing this for 20-some years now, i don't suppose i'll miss all of the work that goes into it, but i know the kids will miss it and that makes me feel a little bad. but it is a little sad. i bought enough christmas tree lights to wire manhatten. they make these things so they can be absolutely sure that by the time you get to the next christmas season, they are all broken. every year, i have to go to the score. why would they build anything to last? hell, if they did that, they

wouldn't be able to sell anything every year. here we go. help the local economy, buy more lights, all from china. another christmas, a lot more money. well, it's about time. it is my young son, the helper. this is what this is all about. this display is for all of the kids in brookmont, which is my

neighborhood, from the big kid who lives here. >> how are you? >> good. >> what do you think, do you like it? it is pretty twinkly. >> look at the dog and the reindeer. >> you did a great job. and santa is way up on the roof waving. >> well, here we go. this is the san diego product of a lot -- this is the end produc a lot of work. this is the last one we're going to do here in brook mo-- brookmont. in fact, the last one i'll do at a house. and we're gooding to -- going to try this. one, two -- whoa, it works. there you go. by golly. another year, another house --

the last time. >> it has been a real pleasure bringing that to all of the kids in brookmont and the other kids that comes to see it. it makes me a happy man as soon as i'm done putting it together. one more thing is up next. thank you. up next. ick with innovation. up next. stick with power. stick with technology.

get the new flexcare platinum from philips sonicare and save now. philips sonicare.

it is time for it is time for one more thing. dana kick it off. >> did you know that 62% of homeowners in america have a pet. and that over 53% of them are going to buy their pet a gift. a dog or a cat or like greg has his ferrets to buy a gift. you know what jasper is getting? >> what. >> a 12 pack of tube socks. >> why don't you give him a cadillac. >> they don't know. he'll think the tube socks are fantastic. >> oh, i bet jasper can drive. he can do anything. >> oh, anything? >> he'll get a driver.

it is lou dobbs, he can drive jasper around. >> gregory, you are up next. >> some people might think it is a live show. it is only a couple of hours old but i wanted to surprise my mother because i wasn't supposed to be home for christmas but i'm hope for christmas right now watching this show, because i told her i was busy. i told her i couldn't make it. >> what do you want to say to yourself? >> i want to say greg, that is a stupid collar. it is a giant. like a stealth bomber landed on your head. >> you're probably going to be drunk. >> right now, i'm drunk and i'm going, mom, look it is you and the weird guy with the collar. merry christmas, mom. >> i hate to ruin the surprise. i'll be back home for christmas today -- actually this morning we had our first christmas opening of presents. and then my two kids are coming over. but i want to thank santa, because worldwide he makes the world a better and happier place

for big kids and live kids and i'm a very firm believer in santa's mystique and being such an important person. >> go, santa. eric? >> i was going to put up a picture frame. don't put it up. people don't get a lot of thanks. so thank you to our producers. >> not sean. >> sean too. >> and our senior executive producer. merry christmas. >> they did okay. i don't think they did great. there is always room for improvement. >> if you say great, then they don't have to think about next year. >> they are average. >> we have the best team at the fox news channel. >> well, maybe. >> well you have a red eye team. i just think the five is the best. and this is a picture, since you didn't put up a picture of your dog. >> more dogs?

>> bob, look at this picture. my sister texted me this last night, it is a yellow lab and it says i ate the elf on a shelf. and next to it the shepherd says and i helped because he was creepy. >> why don't you take all of your dogs on a cruise. >> like a doggy cruise? i bet there is such a thing. >> for christmas, if you have the ability to do it, go rescue a dog. there are so many dogs that need to be rescued. >> i have to put them in jeopardy so i can rescue them. >> i would be happy to pay someone to rescue them. >> one year my family didn't give each other gifts. >> you can do that. >> i was saying something nice about giving to charity. >> i am. i'll give to charity, i'll give them a dog that is bummed out. >> give to a military charity instead of buying each other gifts.

>> we want to wish youal a very merry christmas and to all of our country.at have gone in thanks for joining us tonight. merry christmas. >> and merry christmas to all of you dogs out there too. this hour, when he talks, washington listens. charles krauthammer, his uniquely american story. his journey from m.d. to the pulitzer prize and how he overcame a devastating accident and a life that matters. hello, i'm bret baier and i hope you'll enjoy watching this fox news reporting special as much as we enjoyed making it. fox viewers know where charles krauthammer sits on the panel and probably know his position on most issues but we bet there is a lot you don't know about the all-star panelist, syndicated columnist, harvard trained psychiatrist and even occasional baseball