much amazing. so i can't really decide. >> you know what, i think you're absolutely right about that. everything is pretty amazing. well said. aid. hello and welcome to apologies, "red eye's" mildly amusing 2013 new year's' special taped july 2012. tonight -- >> coming up, a look back at the year in news no one covered including the world's most dedicated dog refusing to stop jumping rope until obamacare gets appealed. a giant evil squid in the ocean

floor. the white house overcharging for a vicodin. >> let me make clear that that circumstance is unacceptable to me. >> and psychotic helicopters. kidnapping and holding them foran some on the market. also, a cia program for training and trapping women with scorpions. the vice president advocating a bounty for paying down the national debt. >> we can export it cheaply and efficiently around the world. we still have the best product. >> a popular iphone transmitting a message. a madman pushing the limits of what is acceptable to do in public in a kiddy pool. >> i feel glorious. >> and finally, president obama taking a firm stand against the upcoming entourage. >> it's not what our founders

envisioned. the american people deserve petter. >> these stories on ""red eye"" tonight. >> now let's welcome our guests. she's so cute that squirrels in the park try to feed her. i'm here with dana perrino. he's caused suicide hotline workers to kill themselves with regularity. it's comedian. >> 2013, you over. >> all right. >> and he's a doting father, a loving son and a hopeless drunk, sitting right next to me is gavin, writer for talkingmag.com. his book is now available. >> well done. >> a block, the lede, that's the first story. i wish you could see, i'm

wearing a tuxedo. >> great. >> okay. they were sorry but we weren't. 2013 was a special year for apologies. alec baldwin never used homophobic slurs again. president obama offered a man help for obamacare's troubles. the best apology comes from this man. >> with today's announcement i know i embarrassed everyone in the city and i will be forever sorry. >> he wasn't from america but we like to think of him as america's mayor. >> yes. >> let's take a look at the year in ford. ♪ ♪ >> yes, i have smoked crack but, no, toy? am i an addict? no. have i tried it? probably in one of my drunken stupors probably approximately a year ago.

>> can you get off my driveway please? >> what can you tell me? >> can you get off my property please? can you please, can you get off my driveway? can you get off my property, please. get off my property! take it off my property. >> i'm leaving. >> thank you. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm going to sing it, one love ♪ >> i wanted to [ bleep ] the misconduct. i've never said that in my life. i would never do that. i'm happily married. i've got more than enough at home. >> amazing. we recorded this new year's eve special july 2012 so there's no -- he might not even be

alive. he is -- no one apologized more or better than him. >> first of all, if you went to a party and rob ford is at the party -- >> yes. >> -- you stay at that party. you don't go nowhere. no, you stay at that party, david. you having fun. this dude is chisane and he's insane. he's big, bloated, he's unapologetic. he's not doing anything to throw him out of office. he's still the mayor of t dot. look at him. >> exactly. the funny thing is, gavin, he actually is a pretty good mayor. >> i'm actually very sympathetic. one, i've done crack when i was wasted and i don't think it's a big deal. two, marion berry did it a million times, he got re-elected. three, obama brags about his cocaine use in his book. no one cares about that and, yes, this guy's a great mayor. the real estate in toronto has been going through the roof

because he's imposed free market liberation on this totally socialist country. because he's a fat white guy and we make a big deal of it. i am actually having trouble seeing. let me take a sobering toke. >> it's actually better to drive after smoking crack. it's like a strong cup of coffee. >> i agree. >> you said to me in the greenroom, why all of the problem about hard crack. >> interestingly, you know the best thing that ever happened to an be though any weiner? >> what? >> rob ford. >> yes. >> it was in this past year that anthony weiner was on the front page of every paper and no one

can remember him because there was a mayor in canada. >> having sex via texting is much better while on crack. >> thank you for that. >> i'll keep that in mind. >> focus. you're locked in. >> did this apology stand out for you? to me, this was a year of apologies. >> i agree. i think the biggest apology was president obama after repeatedly lying to the face of the american people. if we'd like our plan, you can keep them. i don't think he should have apologized. i know he lied. it was a good lie. it was a noble lie. all he wanted was for people to have health insurance. if he had to lie to us so we would go ahead with it, okay. if you think about it, what he did was he sacrificed himself for our good just like that other guy did a long time ago. >> wow. >> talking about bruce willis in "armageddon." thought you were going somewhere else. spoiler alert. >> i have to move up. >> best damn drill i ever saw.

>> the worst apology ever. adam n. smith was the guy that harass ted the girl at chick-fil-a. he did an 11-minute video of an apology. an awful apology. he lost his job. it was a year of big deals that weren't real. i speak of hoaxes. who can forget lan na who was the girlfriend of manny te'o. then there were the campus hoaxes like meg lanker simon who reported that some evil right winger posted rape threats. the only problem, it was later determined that the girl posted the message herself. at other colleges, hate speech crimes were later found to be

perpetrated by students. finally, there was dana morales, the lesbian waitress. the family produced a credit card statement showing that they had left a tip and morales was eventually fired. >> yes. >> all right. there's so many hoaxes, sherrod. it seems like now it is an industry of hoaxes, if you will. >> may i coin a phrase? >> i forgot what it was. >> okay. everybody pulls a hoax. i don't like when they do it, this girl who did it with this family. then they find out they have to go all the way through their receipts and come back. drop back to this place, chilies, wherever she works. people going through persecution for being a lesbian, homosexual male. >> it's a waste of time. >> people gave her money. >> a friend said that she's a liar. always been a liar.

>> she said she had cancer. she said a bunch of different things. the point is, gavin, don't people do these sorts of hoaxes because they think they can get away with it. >> that's what happened. the media ate it up. >> that's the achilles heel. everyone goes, it shows that lesbians can be just as crazy and malificent as normal people. >> norms. we call ourselves norms. the truth is it's nothing to do with it, it's the reaction to these hoaxes. that's what the media gets away with it. not that someone has mental illness. they jump at the chance to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's a problem and it's not. >> the college president knew it was a hoax and it wasn't.

he said the fear is real and he patted himself on the back for how they handled it. >> americans, subliminally, want us to be true. want this to be a sexist, racist -- >> when the girl push her car into the water with her kids in it and said two black dudes kidnapped my kids. >> i believe that. >> why would you believe it? >> we've got to go. >> dana, what are your thoughts? will this finally be over because they're being exposed? >> you're hoping that the consequences are such that all of the attention that they got for the hoax -- that the negative attention would be big enough that they would not do it again or serve as an example. i think hoax city is the wrong word. people are sick. >> should be fined. >> right. we have people that are so in need of personal attention, i think the only way they can get

it is through this press. >> the one hoax we didn't discuss, the te'o story, it went away, it was so obviously weird and it was gone. and it was so many of those stories. >> there's another one. >> get this? >> what? >> because the question was whether he was gay. nobody wanted to put more pressure on him to make him feel worse. >> all right. >> what kind of hoax is that. >> coming up, a story that's so unbelievable, we probably made it up. first, what were the top stories of 2013. we'll discuss it. and now my journey across the country has brought me to the lovely city of boston. cheers. and seeing as it's such a historic city, i'm sure they'll appreciate that geico's been saving people money for over 75 years. oh... dear, i've dropped my tea into the boston harbor.

huhh... i guess this party's over. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.

so there were a lot of frightening moments around the world in 2013. the obama care scandal, i almost ran out of peanut butter after all of the stores closed. stop yawning, dana. it's no that late. in february a meteor landed in russia. here to share his thoughts on that and the year's scariest stories, it's "red eye's" most frightening correspondent. you live here and you're not near the asteroid and you hid in your house for days. why is that?

>> asteroids come from space. there's no hiding from it. >> that's true. you decided to hide. were there bigger ones coming? >> there could be bigger ones, a smaller one. heck, you get hit with a smaller one, no one will believe you. >> i want to go to the next story. the department of defense sponsored an operation to bring robots to life. could we be wrong about robots? maybe this is a good thing? >> well, they're trying to spin this as like these robots could help out in nuclear disasters. we only have one nuclear disaster per generation. we'll need more to keep the robot busy or we're in big trouble. it's a lose-lose either way. >> if you had to guess how you were going to die, will it be killer robot? >> killer robot or stars. >> how would you rather die? >> defending the honor of a

beautiful woman. >> so sars? >> sars. >> if you get sars you prevent one woman from getting sars. >> that's one way of looking at it. it's better to have given a woman sars than never to have loved at all. >> you are a hopeless if not kind of cruel romantic. i gave her sars, but it was love. all right. bleacher report says there are huge swarms of raspberry ants otherwise known as crazy ants. they've invaded the southern united states from brazil. they're drawn, this is the scary part, to car stereos, circuit boxes, machinery. often forming a short circuit. is this how the world will end, joe, with crazy ants? >> it doesn't sound good that they're already called crazy ants by scientists. it's not looking good. i don't think this is going to be worse than sars but it's still not good. >> if it attacks electronics, does this mean no device is

safe? should i sell my car? >> don't sell your car. stay in texas. if you drive in your car, you could spread the ants here. keep the amounts away from me, greg. >> the thing is, that doesn't help me. >> well, i mean, what we could do is perhaps import ant eaters, although we would have to import jaguars to kill ant eaters. a natural predator is jaguars. >> do you think they'll attack our financial institutions, banks? how will we get money? >> that's not a problem i have. i do not have much money. >> i want to ask you about your new year's resolutions as someone who's afraid of pretty much everything. what's your plan to stay safe? >> i've come up with three. number one is go to the doctor more because how do i know if i'm just tired or i have lyme disease. sure, the doctor will say i tested you for lyme disease last month. that was last year. >> one more? >> i have a he got one more.

yes. that's to finish my novel. >> what's it about? >> it's about a timid comedian by day/super hero by night that beats up rude people to defend the honor of a beautiful woman. >> i have a feeling you're going to finish that. >> it will be good. >> publishers, i'm standing by. >> thanks, joe. >> thank you. >> coming up steve locke is sponsored by iceberg. the floating masses of ice. attack from a glacier carried out to sea. which story caused you the most outrage this year? >> now it's time for "red eye" in memoriam. they're not dead, they're just dead to us.

it's over two years ago. outrage, a lot happened in 2013 that drove me into fits of fury. for instance, miley cyrus, also miley cyrus and finally, miley cyrus. so what were the biggest outrages of the past year? it's the subject of tonight's "red eye" debate 2013 live from the "red eye" debate center. >> welcome back to "red eye" debate center. all right, gavin. what outraged you most this year? >> i think the dana morellis thing outraged me most because it linked back to the obsession the media class has with proving we're all bigoted. >> yeah. >> it goes back to 2006 when we

had the -- what was it, abc or nbc had the actors go to nascar as muslims and then went, hey, how's it going? and then the daley show sends two gays down to the south to get beat up. i love to hear the press when they go, look, it's going to get dangerous. hey, man, you all look like you're so in love. you're like making out. you're the coolest gay dudes i ever saw. then they propose to each other in a diner. >> that was great. >> everyone goes, well, god, yeah. >> that was great. >> dana moralis sums up this obsession the media has with proving it's not. dana? >> something along those lines. it had to do with racism, that the media thinks everybody else is a racist if you didn't vote for president obama. the example i have was the rodeo clown. remember the rodeo clown that wore the mask of president obama. he ends up -- this is a guy that

makes less than minimum wage, gets fired from the job. all the rodeo clowns in america have to go to sensitivity training. the truth is every president going back as far as i can remember and i've gone to a lot of rodeos in my life. every president gets the mask treatment from the rodeo clown. >> they went too far, dana. >> sherrod, quickly. whattest your outrage? >> my outrage, i got no outrage this year. i happen to be a working comedian and have friends like you guys. >> oh. >> to my "red eye" -- #redeyefamily on twitter, we'll be together. and the camera crew. all you guys. stage managers. >> get over it. >> we got more show? >> hacking on this very network on late night network talk show host to claimed to be a libertarian said this, everybody knows he's been watching the

"red eye" for seven years knows i hate the government but i have to defend the nsa. >> oh, yeah. >> all year claiming to be a libertarian and yet supporting every possible invasion of privacy that the government could commit. shame on you. you are the outrage of the year for the seventh straight year. >> that wraps up apologies, hoaxes, outrages. "red eye's" mildly amusing 2013 new year's special taped july 2012. thanks to dana, sherrod. gavin. that does it for me. i'm greg gutfeld. happy new year! >> happy new year! ♪ ♪

hello, happy new year's eve. i'm greg -- i'm eric bolling with bob bob, greg gutfeld, dana perino and kimberly guilfoyle. >> just a few hours left until the new year and so let's get the party started. kimberly and bob will kick off the all american party at times square at 9:00 p.m. tonight. they will tell you what they have on tap so stay tuned but 2013 was a big year for the