wish former president george h.w. bush and his wife barbara a happy 69th wedding anniversary. see you tomorrow night here at smk paul mccure yow would do. you are about to ep ter the greg zone tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye." dogs on scooters and bicycles? the story msnbc refuses to investigate. plus, does the president think "anchorman 2" was a huge mistake? >> you don't have to take my word for it, but probably nothing has done more damage to america's credibility in the world. >> and does this bizarre female obsessed with laughing 24/7 have a more sinister purpose? the interview with the mad man behind the movement. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight jie. and now let's welcome our guests. he is hotter than a bonfire on

the sun. i am here with miss america 2008. and he was named one of the 10 most american shut ins. andy levy and on halloween he takes off these lips, writer and comedian, paul mccurio. i will let his fans know he will be at the punch line in san francisco january 15th to the 18th and ironically called the punch like when he is there. he could strangle with you a hair plucked from his pelvis, mike baker. diligence, maker of diligence can openers, back scratchers and yoga mats. for all of your dill jept needs, think diligence. you will be pleading for them to kill you by the time you are done. >> a block, the led that's the first story. from now on, i would like you to refer to me as the capitalist, is that cool?

>> okay. when things got rowdy she said howdy. a female alabama fan turned into a kicking, punching tornado after some oklahoma supporters were less than sweet at the sugar bowl. in the wayneing moments of the crimson tide's loss last thursday michelle greeted a group of unruly sooner rooters who she says were taunting her son. her spectacle was special.

>> na, na, na, na, hey, hey, hey, goodbye. >> weird thing is she has no voice box which and why she beeps. she says, quote, i had a couple of drinks, but i was not intoxicated. she added, i hate to say it, but i would do it again if i had to. i will not let anyone go after my son. she was involved in another altercation over a sporting event over the weekend. [speaking spanish]. >> i always root for the bull in those cases. mike, good to see you. >> thank you very much. >> glad to see you are not letting yourself go. >> no, i am not. >> they were taunting her son who is a teenager. did she have any other choice, but to attack her with her furious kicks? >> she didn't have any choice

but to launch herself into the -- you know it looked like any other football game to me. i understand what she is thinking. she is drunk and she lost control. frankly that's what people go to football games for -- wait, that's nascar. i'm wrong about that. >> a cheap shot at nascar there. >> i love nays are cay. i love nascar. are you kidding me? >> did she go too far or not far enough? >> she went way too far. excuse me. this is a lady we are talking about. come on. she is a mom. >> she is a mom protecting her kid. >> she is a mom. she needs to set a good example for her children who are there watching her. i am not surprised this is college football between two southern teams. alabama and oklahoma. i am from the south and i no know those people take their sports very seriously. this is not shocking at all and i'm actually surprised it didn't go further. >> i don't know, paul, you are usually the one getting taunted. instead of stick up for you,

your son usually joins the taunter. how does that make you feel? would this be -- i don't know, does this happen on your shows often where people lunge at you? >> yes, it is usually my wife screaming get off. this is not working. it is sports, right? that's the problem. people get so amped up over sports they are fighting over it. what happened to the days when we fought for honorable reason in this country and civil rights. we fought the nazis and we fought for the last cabbage patch doll on christmas. that's the real reason to fight. feel free to laugh right there. >> that's the three object joke. there is one, the serious and then there is this one. wait for it. this will be different. cabbage patch. >> it is a cultural reference. >> really, baker? >> we will be -- we will be

diagramming paul's joke as he does them. i have a theory here and i want you to indulge me. an athletic event is the only place where perfect strangers can egg each other on and to kill each other. the whole point of tawpting is -- taunting is not for somebody to walk away. you don't do that anywhere. maybe groups of tufts do that at the mall. >> i thought you meant tufts you have you have the. tufts university. >> i think the idea is you are supposed to taunt and they are supposed to taunt back, but not launch themselves in the air. >> i think they were saying horrible things. >> it crossed from a sports taunt to a personal taunt. >> she said she wasn't drunk. she only had d couple of drinks which nobody drunk ever says. she says the security guards had gotten on that group for throwing bottles.

they say that is not true. >> i think she is telling the truth. >> why do you think she is lying? >> you know why you are saying that? you are a jew. >> that's a taunt. >> i am trying to taunt you. >> i am way too old and lazy to launch myself at uh. -- ought. >> throwing bottles in the stadium security will not just come over and warn you not to do that again. that's one of the things they don't do. if they didn't see it, that's one thing, but if she is claiming security talked to them about that, they boot you. >> it is a southern game though. it is a alabama game. >> this is the worst thing she could have done for her son. if he was taunted then and now you need your mom coming to your defense? >> to be fair, you look at european football games or what we call soccer, soccer games in south america, those crowds are way rowdier.

people get killed. >> they get beheaded. that was in brazil. they cutoff his head and put it on a stake. >> that's why people go to the sporting event. >> there is video of her before this and she was flipping off the oklahoma fans. she is doing a little swaying dance. >> she is not totally innocent. >> the funny thing is to your point about soccer or as we call it in futbol. >> or in america we call it [bleep]. >> there you go. >> what are you going to do at a soccer game? watch the game? >> they say it is violent because 99% of the audience is male. they don't get the female side. they say it dozen -- doesn't soften the crowd. that's to their point. >> does she deserve cheers for her tears?

on saturday msnbc host melissa harris perry apologized for a segment last week in which guests mocked a family photo that included the governor's adopted black grandchild. and then she was choked up in the process. >> my intention was not malicious, but i broke the ground rule that families are off limits and for that i am sorry. allow me to apologize for -- to other families formed through trans racial adoption. i'm sorry that we sighted interracial families are in anyway funny or deserving of ridicule. >> i just want to hug her. >> her eye water was not enough for governor romney. he told chris wallace that he thought her words were insincere and he didn't forgive her. >> i think it is a heart felt apology and i think for that reason we hold no ill will whatsoever. >> pretty much interpreted that correctly. meanwhile, it lead to one former msnbc host if he too

should have turned on the water works with alec baldwin tweeting if i cry will i be for given of my trans gretions? well that will take for of. can we see slow mo of the bull? >> of course she was perfectly fine. you know that bull was a volunteer usher and helping her to the seat. that's why she is fine. paul, are you constantly apologizing. if not you should be. what do you make of melissa harris perry's apology? i think she was sincere. >> i think she was sincere, but the bigger issue is we have issues where

african-americans can be as racist and offensive as white people now. she skipped over the middle person. she is like the trader joe's of racism. she goes right to the source. >> interesting metaphor. one i barely understand. governor romney all class and handled it the right way, didn't he? >> definitely. i wonder why this came up in conversation. mitt romney is obviously not running for president. he is not newsworthy. i was confused as to why she brought it up. why go there? >> you know in the editorial meeting there is a whole other conversation about this picture and how funny it was and stuff. >> why assign that? there is no good place to go with that. >> msnbc had an editorial policy where they want to get the news out. that's almost what you are saying. how can they decide on this as a news story? >> and then we will do a story on that so that's why it is a news story. mike, since you are talking

and burning up available time on the show, is there a point? it is hard not to feel bad when a woman cries and it is hard not to take advantage of that and it goes against her feminist principals ? >> the only heart felt part of that is she is worried about her job position and saw built. the idea that anybody on msnbc will feel bad or sincerely apologetic about saying something awful about the romneys in particular is ridiculous. i think baldwin has a point. i like alec baldwin. they should have smacked him around a little bit and kept him on. >> i didn't see that as a smart move on their part. andy, anything you want to apologize for? >> i apologize for nothing. is it okay if i don't care about the apology and the outrage? does that make sense? >> she has comedians on her show. they said stuff that wasn't funny and it was a dumb segment.

if we are going to judge apologies that was mostly a good one and romney's response was good and that should be the and of it -- the end of it. she claims at the beginning of her apology that she -- they wanted to look at the photo as a way of celebrating. no, you didn't bring that photo on with a bunch of comedians. she is completely disingeneral wise. i think her tears were real. >> why is alec baldwin throwing himself into this? >> he can't resist. she is a journalist. he is an actor. he is a fine actor, but the comparison doesn't make any sense. it is like comparing apples to homophobic oranges. >> how dough know an orange is homophobic? >> it is the way it rolls toward you. >> i think we should have an apology free month. you know what it would feel like? it would feel like 1980.

before there was any -- there was a cloud of outrage and it was waiting to pounce. >> don't you think social media has made it harder not it apologize? you have millions of people jumping on you now. you are on tv, but you still have dweebs like you who want nothing to do with you at night? >> there is also an idea you can come to the point where you can be for given of anything short of a heinous crime if you apologize and if there are tears involved, sure. our ability to forgive and move on is pretty incredible now a days when you consider what people have been able to get away with lately, particularly in the public arena. >> we have to move on. is their family a shamly? a judge allowed a couple who are just friends, imagine that, paul. people have friends. they will bely co parents to an adopted girl.

a paper reports th the women wanted to have a baby and a man offered to be a sperm donor. when she couldn't get pregnant they decided to adopt a child from ethiopia, but because they were not married only she can do it. they petitioned to have the man named as a second legal parent and at first the judge ruled in their faff. he noted, quote, although they live in separate households they created a you are nurturing family environment including a well thought out, discussed and fluid method of sharing parenting responsibilities between their homes. i pronounced it sinisterly. the forgotten cat is left to fend for himself. >> that is pretty skillful. >> good job, cat. when you

talk about separate households it is leak you are talking about sharing a plant. >> it is a little bit like i want a new coat now. the kid is from ethiopia. he is lucky she not adopted by sally struthers. >> it is a sally struthers joke in 2014. >> i am more concerned -- >> i want to see the creative process that got to that joke. let's see, ethiopia. i can't make a starvation joke. >> the benefits of divorce, but none of the drawbacks of marriage. that's how i look at it. is that 2014? there is a wedding cake waiting for to you climb on top of. >> i think he is mean. a fire and tea kettle raising children. it is hard to imagine the

inanimate objects. >> or the table. >> but this is seriously concerning. maybe one decides they don't want to be a part of the arrangement. with divorce we have that, but we don't in this situation. i think the careless way to deal with children, but if a child is adopted by anyone that is better that they have a loving home then the foster care in the united states then growing up in ethiopia is not as stable. >> i agree unless it is the mccurio family doing the adopting. the children don't deserve that private hell. >> my son loves to be hit. >> oh no. >> you have been raising two cats all by yourself as a single parent. when will the courts acknowledge your status? >> greg, this is a tough one. refer together actual case here. i think the answer is this is something that needs to be

decided on a case by case basis. in this case the social worker said that the two parents have established love and respect for each other. what you are doing now if something happens to one of the parents other parent is there. there are good points as to how that is a problem. the biggest issue is they identified the two parents as cal and lal. if you put them together it is cal el. something is going on there. >> or the child is superman. >> it is an observation that i noticed. >> you get the last word. try to wrap it up with some nonrambling thoughts. you break out sentences with heming 1k3* hawing. >> as a parent of several

children. >> that's a nice way of not remembering how many you have. >> i think it is a good move. i think anything that provides a loving home for a needy kid is a good thing. both individuals were working hard to have their own child. they were serious minded and they don't have all of the facts. frankly there are so many kids that need a home. >> then make adoption easier. i know too many couples that are having a hard time. >> absolutely. i wonder why they didn't just get married? if they want to raise a kid together -- >> it is not a convenience thing. and it is good to have the mother and the father there. don't you think? >> unless the father is you. i'll end it there. how does mike baker stay so slim with a hectic lifestyle? two words. dennis rodman is back in north korea.

should rand be banned? peter king continues to not be a fan of rand. senator paul is unfit to serve in office. they say they are filing a class action lawsuit over domestic surveillance and it would be good for edward snowden to, quote, share a prison cell. take a a listen, listeners. >> rand paul is spreading peer among the american people. i understand the show is also comparing clapper to snowden. to me either he is totally uninformed or he is part of the hate america crap. in anyway, he doesn't deserve to be in the united states senate for spreading that miss

perception and lies. >> i wish he could be more forceful, but whatever. if only members of congress could learn to cooperate like these two. >> go get it. go get your frisbie. go get it chase. go get it chase. >> go get it beptly. good boy. >> that is bipartisan ship. it gets the inexperience out of the way. i like to call him paul ranked and was he uninformed? >> king is right in the sense that rand paul was -- i think she grandstanding and playing to the crowd. i think he is being irresponsible. >> it is a fear of big government and i understand

his concern that there is always a potential for misuse or abuse. but i think king then also over stepped by suggesting he is not serve which is an interesting comment. having spent 17 plus years behind a curtain i have enough information to not be parano id id -- paranoid about the government. we have a tremendous amount of checks and balances despite what the media has portrayed. i hate to say it, but snowden and his pal the dancing monkey, they have a dog in the hunt. >> are you the wizzard of oz? >> 17 years is a long time to be in the closet. >> it is much like your comedy routine. >> there has always been attention between security and liberty. it has been in the name of national security. they are like, we are in a

war. we have toen trench in the liberties and also conveniently they will use encroachment as a way to attack the other party. it is like democrats did with the patriot act. the illusion that we don't have any privacy anymore, the apple can track and google gives out your information to advertisers. as you walk by and taylor to your wants and needs, nothing is private anymore. would you be saying that anymore? >> like they wouldn't -- >> i don't really care. >> the nsa would track your e-mails and go, jesus, why is this man still alive? it is the most depressing life i have experienced. >> you were shaking your head and is that part of the hate

america crowd as rand paul and other heros ? >> i agree with peter king. i don't think rand paul should have compared clapper to snowden. edward snowden didn't lie to congress. as i said clapper and hayden should stand trial for their crimes. i am okay with edward snowden standing up for his crimes, but michael hayden, the warrant less wiretapping to president bush and lied to congress. clapper lied to congress and they both should stand trial for that. i completely agree that rand paul is being opportune nistic. >> it trivializes everything. he would have much more credibility if he did this in a different way. >> it is literally what you

are supposed to do. >> he is trying to build his brand with millenials. he is trying to build it with the younger generation. >> he is not building a brand like selling a new car. >> that's what it is about. it is about being cool. >> there is some semblance. >> where have you been? >> i hate it when they are so cynical about life. >> i am tired of this topic. >> should i do this to make andy happy? rand paul is an opportunist. >> rand paul is running for president. >> coming up, the c block. tonight's c block is brought

to you by sedimentary rock at the earth's surface and in bodies of water. thanks sedimentary rocks. >> can i crash on your couch next weekend? >> have i to ask my wife. >> why are you still with her? you said we would be together. >> you need to back off. >> you need to back off. >> no, you need to back off. >> i will never be enough for you. >> you are a rock and i am a human being. >> you say this after i moved 3,000 miles to be with you? [bleep] you. >> wow, okay. did michael bay have a melt down on stage? it is the video you don't want to miss unless you like missing things.

dismie -- he brought his own gang to pyonyang. dennis rodman took a group to play on kim's beret day. they were both known for many touchdowns in their career. the game, basketball diplomacy he says, is about showing the communist nation is not that bad. it is. >> this is not about the money. it is about one thing.

it is about trying to have a connection and open the doors for people to come here and say north korea is not bad. >> other than the killings, rapes, beatings, prison camps and the starvations. he has quite a point. could he be right? you are an intelligence officer. then again you have to say dennis rodman is a former basketball player. >> if he wants to be a puppet then so be it. it is insane he would put himself out in this capacity. i'm sure somewhere deep in his heart he is doing something important. i think it is because he is irrelevant right now. >> he can be on any number of

reality shows he hasn't been relevant in 20 years. he may as well have a date with the pm dawn. >> you could do a lot of diplomacy. >> the references will be current. >> sally struthers. >> i can't even think of a song from pm dawn. >> he is like a lillian helmund. he takes a dictator and makes him sound good to the west knowing the dictator is murdering people. isn't that horrible? >> yeah, especially considering there was just a man a couple months ago, just before christmas who disappeared over there. finally they sent him home. no it wasn't the uncle he executed. other than that. there are americans over there

now that are supposedly in labor camps and we don't know where they are. this is serious business. this bromance and he goes over there and feels special. it feeds right to his ego. now it is ridiculous. have you been over there four times in less than a year. >> it is more than ridiculous. it is bordering insane. >> wouldn't it be great if this was dennis rodman's plot to assassinate kim jong-un? >> it would be, but it is not. >> it could be. >> i think we have to cut him some slack for saying he is not that bad. he dated madonna and he is comparing it to that. rodman had the sponsor for this whole thing. they pulled out after the news of kim jong-un's uncle surfaced. they said they pled out as a reaction of the condemnation

over recent events. they were okay with the camps, and oh he killed his uncle? we can't be a part of this. >> we have to see if they will play against these players. >> what will happen if the americans win? >> there is a lot of motivation on the north korean team to win. they don't want to lose. >> their entire family will disappear and the dogs don't go hungry. >> the half time show is a pm dawn concert. >> and they are selling sally struthers gear. >> and they have a t sheeter shooter. morrisey -- let's start over. british rocker morrisey compared animal meat 20* ped feel yaw. how would he know? the front man explained,

quote, i see no difference between eating animals and pedophelia. it is rape, violence and murder. imagine you are in a nightclub and they say i enjoy throat slitting on the destruction of life. anyway, if that were the i would -- >> are you just giving up? >> go back and do that rock guy. >> it was better than your [bleep]. >> he went on to imply that people who are okay with animal slaughter houses would have supported concentration camps and a fair comparison? not a fair comparison. >> you are saying humans and animals are the same and that's not true. he also said in the quote that you said thlt you are destroying all life. well you are not going to eat

plants? plants have life. he is trying to remain relevant like peta. he is a supporter of peta. they make outrageous statements and have half naked women saying i would rather be naked than wear fur. whatever, move omow the lawn. >> they can support animals and ojectify women? >> should we ignore idiots like this? >> listen, morrisey has a point. kill them in a humane way. put a cow in a bath and put on a mirrisey album. i think it is insulting to pedophelia victims to be

compared to animals. >> great point. >> a cow goes through paper in seconds and then gives back pain 10 fold when it turns into a white castle hamburger. the person who commits the pedophelia is hurting for the rest of his life and this guy is out of touch with that. >> you cooperate -- you couldn't wait to defend him as you are a huge smiths fan. >> if you believe in the avatar you would believe in auschwitz. you know who else didn't believe there was a difference between humans and animals ? >> hitler? >> yes. he said if i am introduced to anyone who hates beings i walk away. i wish all veegans would do that. they sit there and haranges you for half han hour. >> how about the leg you umes? >> the legumes are a living

creature. >> any loving parent going to what paul would say, any loving parent listens to these statements and is dismayed and horrified and insulted and he does -- he doesn't care. >> is he a good spokesman for veegan? are they saying i will have what he is having? >> he must have to become completely veegan. nothing he does should have animal products. >> he was in a band called slaughter and the dogs. >> it is not a joke. it is a fact. >> time to take a break. when we come back, we will talk about something. you know what, not just my new book to be ordered by paper

paperback. ". >> of hate" paperback is out. and my latest "not cool". you can go to g gutfeld.com.

this week started bleak. researchers say monday, january 6th, was the most depressing day of the year. many people were coming back to work after the holidays burdened with bills and failed new year's resolutions and the weather blew. all of this misery had it up to blue monday as it is known or as experts also like to say. it's paul mccurio day. >> to mark this dismal day here is a montage of sad things.

i like that they hold it there forever. for awful you people who are depressed at least are you not paul mccurio. how did you spend the day? >> on the toilet wondering why i was coming here. this whole idea of depression and -- why am i even trying anymore? >> have i been trying to get you to get to that point in

your life. >> boom. >> you should call my wife because she is trying to unleash the secret formula. >> this whole idea where we are over diagnosing and over prescribing everybody. every kid has add and adhd. now the potheads are the cleanest kids in high school, right? it is symptomatic of a big problem. you want to say you are depressed. if somebody is sad at a party you don't want to talk to them. you say you have a call coming in. if you are depressed you feel obligated to say something. >> it makes sad seem more technical. there are people who are depressed and people who are sad. when you are blue does looking in the mirror lift your spirits? >> it sure does. >> if i look in the mirror and i saw you i would say yeah i am going to 1r* sex with 60 cheerleaders. >> why are you thighs to him? >> because i am shallow. >> i don't know why this day i suppose they say it is after the holidays and everybody's

first day back at work. i went back to new york for the week. i went to the office and my whole staff was whistling and happy. you couldn't have found a more cheerful group of individuals. i think the statistical study may be flawed. that's what i'm saying. >> blue monday is the only day you are happy. >> i wall low in everyone else's misery. >> do you wallow? >> or wallow. >> one or the other. >> when they calculate this blue monday stuff they analyze tweets over the last few years. you have to do better than that. sunday night was the most depressing night of the year. >> why? >> you know -- it is the first full week of the year coming up. >> sunday night as we all know 10:00 p.m. on the travel channel -- >> sunday at 11:00 p.m. eastern is when the depression hits. >> are you not really doing

anything. that's a snow job of the name. >> what are your thoughts on this horrible day? >> most divorces happen in january. on a monday probably. the most heart attacks happen on monday morning. it follows in this trend. a doctor said in one of the articles that depression is more over diagnosed than under diagnosed. people struggle with depression. there are ways to fix it other than a drug. there are a lot of things you can do besides take a prescription medication. i think the methods need to be promoted. >> is it true most heart attacks happen on monday? >> yes it is. google it. >> for your depression there are buses out there. just walk in front of one. >> coming up, our last story.

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the guy who works very hard but he can't do that. people like me, i can talk for hours. >> well, yeah. it's just -- he's used to everything being mapped out at the last second and a page for everything. >> that was a panic attack. >> yeah. >> that was anxiety attack. >> they said he couldn't make a watchable movie without a multi-million dollar budget.

>> usually the audience is urging you to get off the stage. >> oh, man. >> do you ever get stage fright? i get a feeling he doesn't like to talk in front of people. >> often the time, people who work behind the camera who get in front of the camera, it's a lot more challenging for them. we do this all the time so it's not that difficult but it's a very, very difficult skill. i feel bad for him but for his fans. that was a hugelaunch. for that to go south on them. >> that was the best thing that can happen. i have to go to andy. that probably made more of a hit. >> cool tv. >> here's what happened. he said his lines first and he wasn't supposed to. i mean, that's why he stopped and the other guy then said it. that screwed up the teleprompter. then the prompter wasn't in the right spot. >> it was the other guy's fault? >> no, it was his fault but he screwed up the prompter and he couldn't deal with it. >> too much of a pad. come on, that was easy.

wing it. >> get out there and talk. i think you're right. great publicity. >> special thanks to you. i'm greg gutfeld. see you tomorrow.

hello, eric along with kimberly it's five:00 in new york city. this is "the five." bone chilling cold in the midwest. anyone who saw the packers game last night knows it's not a good time to be outside. and a rare polar vortex is headed east in its path. 200 million americans, thousands of flights have been canceled. in chicago, wind chills approaching minus 50. i'll say that again, minus 50 degrees. skin will freeze in mere minutes. to indianapolis where the mayor declared it illegal to drive on the roads, the frozen roads. check out this crazy highway video from colorado springs.