for "on the record" each night. see you again tomorrow night right here go to gretawire.com. good night from washington. >> a verto. you are brrrr to enter "red eye." >> are they training super bendy chicks to fit in storage bins? why frequent 234r50eu yes, sirs are thinking twice about their next vacation 1234*z and how many buffalo wings is the vice president planing to eat during >> 13,000. 13,000. >> and finally, could your dusty old cassette tapes be worth millions? our allstar panel will debate it anyway. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> now let's welcome our guests. she is even adorable when biting the heads off kittens. i am here with dana perino.

she is a former white house press secretary and one of my co-hosts on "the five it is request. you may have heard of the show. it is successful mainly because of me. and they landed part-time work sorting discarded underwear. it is tv's andy levey. and if jokes were sausage she would be jimmy dean. it is comedian small. >> hash tag red eye. >> and next to me mike baker, current president of diligence, diligence maker of diligence tea pots and pocket squares and garment bags. for all of the garment bag needs think diligence. diligence, when you see us outside your home we have already killed your family and saved you for last. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. hey, greg, i finally [inaudible]. oh, sorry, i have to go.

>> nice. should he hit the highway for blocking one? chris christie apologized on thursday, a day of the week, mike, after learning a top eight de and others engineered a traffic nightmare at the george washington bridge, named after george washington. it was to get even with the democratic mayor. but did he have any knowledge or involvement in this issue in its planning or execution? >> i had no knowledge or involvement in this issue. in its planning or in its execution. and i am stunned by the abject stupidity that was shown here. >> e-mails and texts show members of the staff planned to punish the mayor of fort lee over his refusal to support his re-election. he fired the aide and others and they have resigned.

let's look at what they did to snarl traffic so badly last september and his staff's reaction. >> there is a question whether they went too far. i have been to fort lee and frankly you want to get out of there. it is a terrible place, sherrod. >> the driving is awful over there. but it is not because of the governor, but mostly asian drivers in fort lee. >> thank you for that. >> good night. >> i know what i am talking about. >> drive safely. >> it is to not easy to drop a bridge like that, by the way. >> did you just get off work, mike? >> i got my business socks on.

>> what pudgy dictator did you make disappear this afternoon? >> if i said that it won't be so mysterious. >> let's start this show. christie says he was blind cited. blind sided. i think they would be terrified of him finding out and not being told. >> a couple of things. i remember when i first ended up going through training and my first direct boss before i went out in the field and disappeared he said, look if you or anybody working with you makes a mistake come and tell me. that's it and we will sort it out, but just come and tell me. that's a key part. the other part is i'm willing to believe that president obama knew nothing about nsa or irs or the health carrollout mess. i am willing to believe that christie didn't know anything. >> obama is sitting down in fort lee, new jersey. >> it is a cogent thought. the problem is that both

christie and obama have management style problems. >> and they both love hot, spicy wings. >> that was my thought of the day. >> when your bosses at the agency told you if you make a mistake come and tell them did he wink after that? >> i want to get dan in on this hopefully sherrod won't interrupt her. >> he is the only one that laughed at me. >> she is over here smashing. >> dana, help me. >> it is a new year. >> should i just shut up now? i want you to take my notes. dana, he apologized. the mayor of fortly -- fort lee accepted the apology in a good natured way. should the -- should america move on to the next scandal that probably involves president obama? >> i was going say it has to do with obama. christie's staff was drunk

with power. he needs to come in and say -- hopefully -- i don't think there are any e-mails or texts , but you do create a culture and a tone like when you say it is okay to give -- to use the irs to target conservatives. maybe president obama never directly said that, but it was a wink, wink, nod, nod. >> dana is stealing my idea about management. >> the staff got kind of cocky and thought they were the governor. they were throwing around the power. it is like if you go to the 40/40 club, jay-z's club? the staff acts like they are jay-z. no, you are the waiter. >> it is the bouncer attitude. it is the bouncer attitude. >> entitled, but you don't have any reason to be. >> it is called the 40/40 club? >> the 40/40. >> i haven't been there. >> really?

i'll take you down there. >> would i fit in? can i wear this? >> what is wrong here, andy? andy, has christie done enough? he fired the aide, but should he fire you symbolically? >> it is not a bad move. it has spurred people to the national stage. the press conference was two hours long. i figured out why. it was unabridged. >> i would have went for a birthday joke. a buffet joke. >> they close lanes to punish a mi yes, sir? mayor. i can picture rahm emanuel going you think are you thugs? you have to step up and play with the big boys. i think overall he did a good job at the press conference and i am not a huge fan of his.

his schtick has worn out its well come. >> before bridge gate if you are a a republican and liked chris christie you are called an insult or a rhino. but then today if you were a conservative republican and you weren't defending chris christie you were also a rhino. the rhinos are trapped. >> it is like wild king -- kingdom out there. >> what is a rhino? >> republican in name only. >> do they not do acro anymores in the cia? >> we spell everything out because it is more secure that way. >> next time don't call it brej gate. call it toll gate. >> toll gate? >> yes because it is tolls on roads. >> $14. >> i want to -- this thing grabbed my attention. it was in the beginning of the press conference. when governor christie -- >> he looks great. >> no, this is my point.

the reason he looks great is that's the world's largest podium. can we roll that again as he is walking in? this is perhaps the most important thing you will ever see from this press conference. can reroll that? this is a podium that is essentially the size of an suv. he walks in and he looks like he is about 5 foot 4 and 112 pounds. >> we should take a field trip tomorrow to trenton and we can film you with that same walkout and see how big is that podium? anybody got an apple box? >> you can actually see roman chariots roaming around. >> that's a great move. everyone respects him now. it looks like he lost weight and he has a giant podium. >> she actually getting bigger. >> if it goes this way the podium will be the size of the white house.

>> i thought it was just msg. >> we should point out and i haven't heard this a lot, but shaquille o'neil is standing by christie. >> did he really say that? >> he absolutely did. >> it makes christie look even smaller. he's sorry for acting so bizarrely. it is day whatever of -- >> great song. dennis rodman apologized thursday for his recent interview on cnn. it was there the cogent cager first implied that kenneth bay had done something wrong. >> set himself up. >> do you understand what kenneth bay did? >> yeah. >> do you understand what he did? >> what did he do? you tell me. >> no, no, no. you tell me. you tell me. why is he held captive? >> they haven't released any charges. >> oh my god, i can't watch. >> and then he started to make

sense. >> no, no, no. i don't give a [bleep] i don't give a rat's ass what you think. look at these guys here. look at them. let me do this. really? really? i'm gonna tell you one thing. people around the world, around the world i'm gonna do one thing , you guys behind the mic right now, we are -- the guys here are doing one thing. >> exactly. despite that brilliance, rody issued a statement through his publicist that sounds painful apologize together family of kenneth bay, to his teammates and como saying it was a stressful day and some of my teammates were leaving because of pressure from their family and business associates. my dreams of basketball diplomacy was quickly falling apart. i had been drinking. it is not an excuse. by the time the interview happened i was upset and overwhelmed. well at least he is taking responsibility.

unlike this. >> jayden. [no audio].

>> people are like this, we don't know that [bleep]. >> dana -- >> i like the cuomo family. have i been in new york my whole life. but he dropped the baton. >> dana, rodman said he was drinking before his interview. since you do this every day before "the five" -- >> he just needs to learn how to handle it better. you need to know your limits. a two-drink limit before the show. here is my idea about rodman. i think president obama would be perfectly within his rights to arrest rodman when he comes back from north korea this next time at immigration. >> why? >> do not let him back in this country. you think they can't find some sort of tax evasion or some sort of irs problem with dennis rodman? >> baby mama drama. >> that's the thing. i think president obama needs a little lift right now. his poll numbers are getting better because he hasn't been seen for a couple weeks. as soon as he comes back it

will head back down, but america would respect him if he arrested dennis rodman and didn't let him back in the country. >> i would respect him if he went up to rodman and got back on the plane and said no. no, dennis. >> bad dennis. >> that would be great. kenneth bay's family accepted rodman's apology. >> what else are you going to do? >> do you? >> no, i don't. the people i feel bad for are baker and robinson and these other guys. they realized quickly how bad -- you would think they would know better. >> for whatever reason they agreed to go on this trip. >> money. >> and then shortly after you can see in their body lapping wedge they realized they were on a wrong path. and now they are trying to get the hell out of there. >> you know what it looked like? it looked like they were the relatives of a dictator. like rodman was the dictator talking and they are the ones behind him saying i hope he doesn't get mad at me. he is going to kill me. >> the press conference talk. >> he actually looked like

chavez. >> he reminded me of qaddafi. >> he reminded me of jj from "good times." he reminded me of nobody with power. he sounded like the cookie monster getting angry. don't insult the cookie monster. >> andy, are you still angry off this? >> i know this is being reported everywhere, rodman issued an apology through his publicist. how about rodman issuing an apology from his publicist. >> he doesn't have a publicist. he wrote the apology and then he said -- it was on a napkin and then he faxed it. >> the publicist actually said said -- he said really? they are blaming the cuomo thing on his teammates. his publicist says a lot of these comments with some of the players contributed to his lashing out at cuomo. so he just threw his entire

team -- >> dennis should have done it by himself. don't bring everybody else over there. they will have people pulling them in either direction. stay home. you ain't ready for this battle. dennis rodman is the right dude because he can put it on his hand and bounce a ball. >> he is a hall of famer. he was a great player. >> i don't know who he is. >> is this cuomo dude related to the governor? >> yeah. >> were you a really a part of the cia? >> we are an a-political organization. >> can i point out another part of rodman's excuse i find hilarious? the i have been drinking as if that is an anomaly to his normal existence. if anything that's all he does is drink. he should say i'm sorry i wasn't drinking. >> i was just being myself. i'm sorry. >> i'm sorry i am me. >> the worst things i do is when i am sober. >> i be drinking is the new miley cyrus album.

>> i think rodman should just open a korean restaurant and get it out of his system. andy what is wrong with you? >> you like dennis rodman. i know that. >> i think everybody is making fun of north korea and i don't like it. >> we have to take a break. >> south korea ain't all great. >> it is better than north korea. >> it is better than north korea, but it is no puerto rico. slow -- slow it down, south korea. k pop could be better. >> i don't even know what that means. howe. wow. >> i even know what that means. >> what? >> korean pop. >> no, it is the guy married to britney spears. >> should you mix pills and booze on a plane? a better question, should you mix plane and booze on a pill? i lied. that was not a better question.

will spying be more trying? it is mulling restrictions and access to american phone records. the white house has been reviewing our surveillance programs and obama could announce his decision next week. the traitor who kicked up this crap storm is getting attention overseas. a european parliament committee has invited edward snowden to testify via video link. for analysis let's go live to this dog.

>> i love the fact that the date on that tape is 94. you are watching a dead dog. >> check out the woman in the video. >> he probably died in 95. >> what is going on in our control room. >> apparently you have credentials which have not particularly helped in these topics. >> i would like to think i have shed a lot of light over the years. >> they found no violations by the nsa at all. yet they are making changes. so it is safe to say these changes are political. >> we are going to do this so we can prevent the potential abuse. he doesn't talk like that by the way. it was like jimmy stewart. >> you know what, even

thompson -- it was a 40/40 club. >> what i like about this is we have all of this outrage that is built up overall of this time from people who are outraged from very little. i have never seen more misinformed and because of all of that and the emotion that is involved the president is about possibly to make some significant changes to programs that actually are very sound and has not contributed to abuses and are well balanced. and there are checks and balances. of course it is all about politics. >> it is impeachable. isn't this being done to mollify world leaders. mollify means to make them better and not to maul them. >> and president obama is left and there are some on the right. he has a political party and born partly because he didn't know how to defend the program because he doesn't know about the program. he has to read about it in the

newspaper. now does not seem to be the right time in world history to be curtailing and limiting the intel gathering capabilities. >> whoa, whoa, dana. first of all -- yes it is ludicrous to think they didn't know about the program. also the idea that perhaps the allies out there of ours are not doing the same damn thing. >> or would want to. >> completely naive. >> why is it all our responsibility to do all of this stuff? >> that's true. >> yolo, >> carry your load, mexico. >> they are trying to make a diarrhea joke. >> speaking of diarrhea i am doing a juice cleanse. dana told me not to do it, three days? >> it is not healthy. juicing is overrated and dangerous. why are we talking about

this? >> i knew you would like to talk about it. >> i am obsessed with bowel movements. >> that's the second album from miley cyrus. >> anally, >> andy, your hero has asked to be a hero in europe. >> first of all, you make me sick. >> you make me sick of the you don't even know what nsa stands for, do you? you have no idea. >> it has been almost seven years. i am tired. >> are you kidding me? i sit here next to you and i am just like this. it is all i can do. >> i will note for the record that whatever small reforms that come out of this, which will be too small, they are entirely due to edward snowden. you are welcome, america. >> there are symbolic changes and therefore dangerous. it will hamper security.

>> you let this out. if something got out, america, you know that. >> how can you sit there and say there is not a single incident reported? >> that's what the nonpartisan report says. >> you have had news reports over the last six months. >> abuses are different than violations. >> i said the word -- word in the report is no intentional abuses. that's actually the language of the report. >> you are abusing me. >> i am just glad -- i always love to see conservatives trust the government. >> this is not the government. >> is the nsa a private organization? >> no, but it exists above and beyond your hatred for obama. >> and why do you throw out the 26-year-old job april applicant who steals information about the united states? what about foreign intelligence? jay we have all been -- >> we have all been that guy,

haven't we? >> the media has been on the wrong side of much of this. how much about the program can you actually talk about? how much do you know about the actual program? >> do you have seven seconds? >> still going out for drinks afterwards? >> absolutely. >> i heard about this new club. >> 40/40? >> when there is another terror attack everybody will be like, why do we make this changes? this stuff could have prevented 9/11. >> that is such bull [bleep]. >> how do you know? >> that has been shot down and de bunked so many times. >> by who? ranked -- rand paul? >> did you just say] bleep [? >> i did. >> i am the only one who has not been [bleep]. >> what, what did you say? >> it might have gotten bleep. >> i will put in a bleep that makes it look like you said something. yea guy we will --

>> we will do it when she says i am the only one who hasn't been and then bleep. >> i told my mom to watch. >> all right. we destroyed that topic and we haven't gotten any closer to the truth. i would like to think we have gotten dumber. i know i have. i was listening to andy and he made me stupid. i don't even know what i am talking about. my mouth is moving right now on its own. >> what else is new? >> where did that come from? who said that? coming up, the c block. tonight's c block is sponsored by titan, the largest moon of saturn and the only satellite to have an atmosphere. thanks, titan. >> thank you. do you have my mets sweatshirt? i think i left it at your apartment. we can talk next time, titan. >> you said that last time. i know whraw up to. >> i don't know what you mean. >> [bleep] you, greg. >> why did i ever decide to sleep with a large moon?

should celebrities be allowed to buy porno mags? we will discuss this in our new "red eye" debate center.

she blew a fuse thanks to news. it was a rampage on a delta flight. she is seen there grabbing her head, over

dramatically i might add. the flight 23r* barcelona to new york was forced to divert to ireland following the outburst that started when her seat wouldn't recline properly. she told one flight uh 10 department to get the -- attendant to get the f out of her face and pushed her out of the way and called her an ugly [bleep] and she called the second one a [bleep] and the pilot a [bleep]. >> not good. >> the irony thing is those are their real names. she admitted to having a migraine and taking medication. we will discuss this in the -- >> lightning rooooooooouuuunnndd. lightning round. >> i have been working out for that.

>> this landing cost $43,000 to divert the flight which is what you make in an afternoon selling rockets to russia. you would never do that though. you would never sell to our enemies. 2,000 euros. doesn't seem fine to me. >> 2,000 euros, we dop that -- we drop that at the 40/40. >> have i a funny story about -- have i a funny story about this having to do with ralph lauren. i lived in the tbr state of idaho. shortly after we got there i was in my car and driving down the street and came to a pedestrian crossing and there was nobody there. i start up and out behind the suv parked there comes a little guy, ralph lauren. i almost pegged him. i was there a week and so my wife who is in the passenger side realizes who it is. i don't even know who it is

because i don't realize cuomo has a kid. that's the end of my story. >> thanks for that. that had nothing to do with this story. >> it was connected. >> we all go delta so i don't know whose side to be opt second i spent time with ralph lauren and his wife, ricky. i met them a year and a half ago. >> you are a name dropper of the century. >> i happened to have on ralph lauren jeans and i was like, ha? >> no one wants to talk about the story. >> i love delta. >> delta has wi-fi. >> i feel like his cousin. >> did ralph lauren talk about the traffic thing? >> he did. he said it was somebody in the cia. >> the same thing happened to you on a bus in newark. do you sympathize? >> let me tell you i am a seat recliner freak. i don't think i would ever say

the things she said. but i can understand getting so frustrated when your seat doesn't recline. especially when you are short. i just need a little angle. don't ever get the seat in front of an emergency exit. those don't recline. my husband forgot and we ended up on one cross country california to washington, d.c. one time and i was not happy. >> they fool you that you get extra leg room. >> it has been aging since the restraining order. >> don't you know anything? >> he doesn't know you are married and has no idea the cuomos are related even with a name like cuomo. you would think it would give it away to a spy. i am a better spy than mike baker. >> i want him on my team when we play clue. >> andy, here is my angle. it sucks to be famous like ralph lauren because your name will be dragged into anything your relatives do.

it is his niece. it is ralph lauren's niece. >> i figured she was 18, 19. she is 41. at that point you are not ralph lauren's niece. you are a grown woman. >> you are an angry lady. >> the dumbest thing about this, her lawyer in court referred to the drug she took. it was stimulants. who takes stimulants before a flight? >> mixed with alcohol. isn't that like can selling each other out. >> you need to be taking xanax. you don't need to take stim lapts before you -- stimulants before you get on a flight. >> you don't want to miss a single moment. >> xanax when mixed with alcohol can be a stimulant. >> i always pop a couple viagra before my flight to make it uncomfortable on the plane for everybody else. >> the best part of this would be if she was actually seated in an exit row.

>> why are you showing that, you moron. >> popping pills on a plane, popping my viagra. where is f13? >> i don't think they will play that on gretchen's show. >> that will show up tomorrow. >> when you make that face it says go sherrod. >> i don't understand the director saying he is doing an obscene hand gesture. well be sure and catch it. >> and dana is in the shot. >> look, they did it again. >> who takes a pill like this? >> it is like dice. you take it like dice. >> can we move on? >> you thought i was doing that? i am more offended at what you thought. >> i look at it as a compliment. >>ing knowing myself in the head. >> i swear to god if you do something offensive the camera guy goes let's film that.

>> i am the face of the face. >> the face of fox news. >> a virginia court ruled the website yelp must turnover the names of users who anonymously criticize 5* local carpet cleaning business. the owner claimed they were not real customers which would violate yelp's terms of service. the court concluded the views were not protected by the first amendment. the yelps users were making false claims. dana, you make comments all the time. >> there is a thing in new york called rate your burn. rate your burn is so you can go on and anonymously post comments about the bar class you just took. >> what class? >> bar class, core fusion, ballet. gyrate your burn -- >> rate your burn is about a class, an exercise class. >> you can go on and make fun of your instructors and the people next to you who ate too

much garlic the night before. and it becomes a whole obsession. i agree with this. i think the court is right and it is upheld. people want -- they have a small business and they have already taken a risk. and then they have people anonymously attacking them. they want to make it right. i think this is a very, very good decision. >> i agree. >> yelp is far worse than nsa. >> nsa would know who it was. >> mike, you leave anonymous complaints on arms dealerships. >> you've got to. there has to be consistency in arm dealing and smuggling. if you don't get out there and call people every time they sell a faulty automatic weapon. that is a consumer advocate role. >> i think it is cool your screen name is captain america 420. >> exactly. on april 20th he dresses like captain america. andy, yelp is the sound your cat makes when he is stuck under your pillow at night.

>> it is good, sherrod. >> don't you think there is a catch 22 going on in this ruling? the ruling is the identities have to be exposed if the reviews are fake. the only way to tell if they are fake is to expose the identity. it makes absolutely no sense. if the identities are exposed and the reviews are real they shouldn't have exposed the identities. >> that is a caw nun drum. >> ain't it though? >> i would like -- have i a spare cot made up constantly in the event that mr. snowden does come back from russia. >> you made a life sized doll out of pillows. >> and i put it in my window to take all of the gunfire. >> last word, sherrod. please make it worth while. >> any kind of anonymous criticism is going to be 99% hate and then 1% truth.

so it is like get rid of it. put your name next to the criticism. >> and it hurts businesses. >> and they do that all the time. >> that pesky constitution again. >> oh please. waive it. >> we are trying to help hadid. go, hadid. >> time to take a break. there is more stuff to talk about. my new book "not cool" if you haven't ordered it yet, pre order. it go to g gutfeld.com. that's my website.

should a peck be kept in check? a british educator says they shouldn't make kids kiss a relative on the cheek because it could do harm. the forced affection may blur the boundaries of appropriate physical contact and children

need to learn early about consent and their bodies are their own. it is better to encourage kids to high five and blow kisses or waive to granny instead. wow. mike, you have kids. or maybe you aren't aware of it. do you force them to kiss relatives? >> no. i just went there with my mom. >> who did you almost hit? >> i took care of my kids. my kids are all different. two of the boys, the 6-year-old is a huger. the 4-year-old he is the middle kid. i am not going to say go over and hug your grandma. go over and kiss your grandma. they are each different and will express themselves in a different way. this study is like any other freaking study. it is nonsense cal. let's talk about that crazy lauren lady. >> when you are a kid your

personal space is not yours everybody has an uncle that will come in and tickle you until you pee. you can say no all you want, but no doesn't work this time. >> that's true. you know what, the tickler. everybody had a tickler. the tickler was not a normal person. nobody likes to be tickled. >> he is a psycho path about it. it is like what in the hell? >> oh my goodness. tickling is bad. dana, did you like kissing your aunts? >> yes, of course. >> and grandmothers are okay, but the opts, their lipstick smelled. >> it is like a powder. rose water. >> moth balls. >> i like it and it teaches you -- well a grand parent's love is like no other. especially for a girl. itmost grandparents are fabulous. >> they are magical creatures

from outerspace. they really are. planet grand parent. >> in your life you are going to have to do things you don't necessarily want to do. when you are told to kiss your grandmother you have to finish with your legos and ipad and kiss your grandma and go to bed. >> rub nana's feet. go and rub your nana's feet, but watch out for that hammer toe. >> shouldn't the government get involved? >> there is nothing wrong with kissing relatives as long as there is no tongue. up until that point -- >> it depends on the cousin. >> we all did a little dry humping when we were younger with that cousin you shouldn't have been. dry humping.

back me up. you ever dry hump a cousin? >> no, don't back him up. >> nobody back him up. >> do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us on red eye at fox news.com. by the way, we are bleeping that word. i don't think it is -- >> come on now. >> do you have an animal that -- do you have a video of your animal doing something? fox news.com/red eye submit a video. click that.

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if you need a link, i'll send it to you. you're embarrassing your family. >> or maybe -- you know what, maybe he's smart. people are getting off the grid. i read that somewhere. >> they can't go and see your back history. >> exactly. >> ain't no back history in japan. >> yeah, yeah, exactly. nobody wants to put porn on their hard drive. >> then he had to use cash. >> it doesn't matter. they've got a picture of him doing it. >> it's huey lewis. >> it's not huey lewis. >> painting a whole bunch of would be news. >> that would be news. get it? >> got it. >> yeah. >> this way in europe. >> just landed in europe.

>> i've got it. i'm going to go away now. dana, sherrod, mike baker, i apologize for everything that happened. boom. i'm greg gutfeld. see you next time, tomorrow, whenever. who knows. slowed by traffic.

>> thank you very much. >> that will do it. >> hello, ev hello, everywomen. i'm kimberly along with dana, it's 5:00 in new york city and this is "the five." in in a news conference that lasted nearly two hours today. chris christie moved quickly to crush the political fire storms over traffic jams last september that some of his aids may have engineered. first, there was an apology. >> i come out here today to apologize to the people of new jersey. i am embarrassed and humiliated