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test test test. test test >> everyone has a different reason that they dress up. so it is hard for me to generalize. i do it because yes i like looking like a woman. it blows my hair back so to speak. but some -- as you said so many do it because they are transgendered. they feel they are a woman or

there is a woman inside. >> robert also explained that sometimes it is a sexual thing for him, but he would never involve other people. >> oh no, i would never involve other people. >> is that because for you sherry is yours? she is yours and you don't want to share her with another man, if you like? >> no, i'm straight. i am not interested in other men no matter how they are dressed. i am not attracted to men. >> being gay, that's disgusting to him. that's disgusting. i would never, ever be a homosexual, but i will dress myself in a full on rubber outfit that probably stinks of body odor and feces. i assume it would after wearing it awhile. that's okay. rick, you dated a rubber doll in the 1980s. you were one of the first people involved in this scene.

let me explain this. >> that's not true. >> why do you continue to deny it? what are you ashamed of? >> this is such a weird story. i want to point out that that interviewer was not wearing the exact same thing as sherry. she had a v-neck and sherry had a scoop neck. sherry had a necklace and the interviewer does not. >> that's true. that's why you are a correspondent and i am not. the rubber doll has more significant cleavage. this is what is interesting about this, remi. i will ask you if you ever dated a masker. if you have that strikes me as judgmental on your part. do you have a problem with this? >> well first of all, i am not sure you asked me a question. there is a host of problems

with this. apparently red is the color and barry and i are wearing it. by no means is it a symbol of support. >> come on. >> whatever floats your boat, that's great. i am not sure why this is -- i don't know why this is taking off. i don't understand it. i can't wrap my brain around this. even rick had to disassociate himself from your joke. >> remi, you have been doing this show for six years. when i see this kind of bigoted crap coming from you, i mean, oh it is a strange lifestyle. oh i can't get into it. oh, i can't wrap my head around it. disgusting. i can imagine seeing this attitude in parts of russia during the olympics, but not here. >> your passion leads me to believe -- your passion on this subject leads me to believe you have a suit hanging up in your closet. >> as a lawyer you would know. >> i mean no offense whatsoever. >> as a masker, and we talked about this, do you think robert accurately portrayed

the community? >> well, i would say as somebody who hasn't been inside a woman in awhile i'm glad he has options. it is nice to see that ed was so ahead of the game. >> this is "silence of the lambs" but a peaceful version. he is making a jacket. >> it would be nice if after the interview he pulled it off and he looked exactly like the male host. >> he is like a russian doll. >> whatever you got to do. when they show him and it doesn't even seem comfortable. they talk about him -- when ever i hear you have to put on talc, anytime you talk about a sex act he just put down a drop cloth. i don't want tarps. >> when i hear talcom powder i think of joey putting on leather pants. >> that was ross. >> does it really matter at this point? a growing number men are into

this lifestyle. one out of every five guys according to statistics. >> no! >> according to statistics i made up. how big could this get? could this get bigger than fans of curling? >> greg, based on the unbelievable growth rate we are seeing right now, i worked out the math. by 2025, 83% of men will be maskers. and it is even bigger than that. a daily male piece from march 2012 was called meet the real lime barbies. teenage girls turn themselves into freakish living dolls. 98.9% of the world will be maskers. >> and then it will just move to pets. then what are you going to do when your dog wants to dress up like a female dog? keep me out of this. this is the sad, but also nare saw cystic draw. the guy on the show was a 60 yeeferld -- 60-year-old wealthy man in california. he wants to date, but he

doesn't want to date women his own age. what he wants is a woman like the woman he is dressing up as. so he becomes his own date. that's what this is about. he will put this on and stand in front of a mirror and say i'm with her. kind of strange, don't you think? >> we have all worn those rubber halloween masks. >> have we? >> and within seconds -- personally within seconds i was a sweaty mess. it is a full body rubber suit. >> yes. >> how disgusting could you be? >> i have to say it is surprisingly airy. >> does anybody else think it reminds you of like a robber's mask or you know in some movies they put on those crazy face masks to hide their identity? it is not sexual. it is criminal. >> from you a fan of the movie, what was it? "point break"? >> i find that movie arousing. >> you are saying these people are criminals for dressing like a woman. >> they can commit a crime and not be identified. >> you know what i love most

about the media is they play into the idea of it is a growing trend while capitalizing on the perversity of it. like pretending like, we will pretend this is good so we can freak out our audience with this craziness of the we will play along with it, we will play along with them in order to actually play up the shock value. if it really was a growing trend it would not be shocking. >> even if it is just these five dudes -- >> it is five dudes. >> i blame the internet. before you could go through your whole life and not even know this is something you can be into. now you can type five random words into google and it puts the pieces together for you. oh, i didn't know i could be into that. >> it is like the phantom limb removal. people that like to remove their limbs. it is like if one guy did it he would be institutional liesed, but he finds thousands around the world. >> isn't that the beauty of the internet? 20 years ago i would have had

to search for weeks, months, whatever, gone to libraries to find out where to get one of these things. now 10 seconds in and i have four. >> that microfiche was a hassle. >> i think i will be thinking about this all night. and i hope you do too, america. i figured that topic was pretty disturbing. i think we will move on to something a little lighter here. all right, does he have a disease or really love cheese? philadelphia police are looking for a man who has been driving around with his pants down and offering women money to pleasure him with a piece of swiss cheese. we have all been there haven't we, rick? there he is holding the cheese. sources tell philadelphia mac that the suspect is a 41-year-old and believed to be the man seen here in a picture posted on twitter by i guess a woman. by why cheese? well, the dude who has two previous arrests for

soliciting prostitutes -- see fox is blocking his exposed jenna tale yaw, but you probably knew that. he explained his fetish on a dating website last year. he wrote to a 21-year-old woman, quite frankly, i want to be up front with you and tell you what exactly i am looking for. when i was young and even now i seem to be judged on my looks and not my personality -- we have all been there -- so starting relationships was harder for me than most. i found women liked dairy products and settled on cheese to represent the girl. thus i started having sex with cheese. thus. can't get laid. women eat cheese. thus. sex with cheese. makes total sense to me i believe. rick, i am a little worried. you love cheese. when i am around you -- >> i love cheese.

>> you can't go around exposing yourself with the cheese. it is wrong. i will say this, it seems to me that he is being up front about this fetish. he is not tricking people into it. it is not like he is going to a dating site saying i am a normal guy, and then you go out with him and it is the cheese. >> you just read a small portion of his explanation. i read the whole thing. it went on and on and on. >> explain to me what disturbs you. i am disturbed by the exposure, but -- >> i want to thank my bureau chief for not sending me to go to philadelphia to do live shots on the guy masterbating with cheese. if i had to do that all day long -- not masterbate with cheese, but report on it. >> you will be there tomorrow. >> will we bleep that out? >> that's in there. goodbye, career, rick. you want me to go to the next person? do you want me to move on, or do you want to make a cogent point. >> do you know why he picked swiss cheese? because of the holes.

>> i saw that coming. my theory about him driving around he was busted twice for soliciting prostitutes. he is looking for partners. i think he is bad at spotting prostitutes, but he is economical in his time. he is driving up and thinks he sees a prostitute and says there she is. rolls down the window and goes like this with the cheese. >> i still don't think you holdup the cheese and women know exact 3 whraw talking about. exactly what raw talking about. >> i don't think they can put it together. what i think is interesting is he wasn't judged on his personality. i think the personality may be a problem. you are a cheese [bleep]. some of the women he contacted are not only appalled, but lactose intolerant. >> by the way, they are lactose intolerant. they are intolerant. >> because this is in philly we have to say genos or pats?

>> a cheese steak joke. he said his personality is a problem, but that is a chicken or egg question. if you are unattractive and women won't talk to you, isn't that weird to have sex with food? i'm 49. >> we have body lange a wedge right -- body language and it is fantastic. diswhrie makes me so uncomfortable. i was hoping you wouldn't come to me. i was really hoping somebody was pranking me as i was preparing for the show tonight. >> you are kind of narrow minded. >> i will talk about the law since i am an attorney. >> yes, yes. use the law again as a shield against your true feelings, but please do. >> thank you. there is nothing illegal about his fetish, okay? for all of you at home who like cheese in this way, go at it. but just do it at home. you cannot reveal yourself to a prostitute or to anybody else without the fear of criminal prosecution. so soliciting prostitutes is

illegal and exposing yourself is illegal. the rest of it, i give him some credit for being up front. as i said on this show in the past i have tried out internet dating. there are plenty of men out there who would never admit the crazy stuff. it took me two minutes to uncover when i first met. >> give me an example. >> no. >> come on! >> move on. >> no, no, no. this is my point, aside from the exposure -- i think he has an obvious problem, but the fact that he tells people beforehand which as somebody who is internet dating understands honesty is important. >> if he is going to waste his time going out with woman after woman after woman if he doesn't put it out there. i'm sure there are women who read this and say oh this sounds like fun. >> you know what dating site he should go to? kraft singles.

>> wow. that was good. >> there has to be a code for this. there has to be. he should have said looking for a green bay packers fan a? and had a woman with a cheese head on. >> andy, i don't think anything will get better than the kraft singles joke. >> probably not. >> he said his fetish is not as bad as others. is that true? >> if he wants people to play with his philly cheese snake that a is his problem. just keep your pants up in the car, sir. other than that, he's right. as long as he finds a consensual partner who cares about this? one recommendation though, he needs to start masking. get out there and wear a mask. the guy -- it may not be him. he may be a patsy or a pastry. we don't know. >> can i just say joe made a great point before the show. he looks exactly how you would think this guy looks. >> if you went to a police sketch artist and you said man

who wants to have sex with cheese and that's all you told him -- >> there it is. >> we need to blur out the cheese, by the way. look at thatand the cheese. >> that generous black box they put over it. >> if you ask to me he is up to no gouda. sorry about that. >> i can't cam and bear this. >> i like yarelsburg. >> you don't want to have sex with the pepper jack. >> no jack cheese in general though. >> please. all right, by the way, he claims to have -- it is called cytophelia which is a fetish for using food as sex. if somebody was to google something right now and want to throw up, i just gave you an option.

>> he makes it look bad. there was a movie in the 80s "91/2" weeks that was a sexy and erotic thing. >> that's true. >> he takes it to a different place. >> yes. he makes a food fetish look bad. that's the real crime. >> the difference is that started with sex and added food. this starts with food and then -- >> food can be fun, but maybe not in this way. >> strawberries, i get it. cheese, i don't. >> a wheel of brie. brie gets me all hot and bothered. >> wheel of brie is the title of the romance novel. wow. i guess we have to move on. coming up, kim kardashian is dead -- tired of people spreading false rumors about her on the internet. can't say i blame her. what is left to say about the golden globes that hasn't been said?

glerp, gloop, thats hasn't been -- that hasn't been said, people.

it is time to probe the globe. the 845th annual golden globe awards were held on sunday night and they featured moments that were as golden as they why globy. e entertainment news kicked the whole thing off in fine fashion by picking an odd, fun fact during its pre show. in case you can't read it says "fun fact, michael j fox was diagnosed with parkinsons disease in 1991". i don't know. it could be fun. some world world it is fun. i would like to see the other fun fact they didn't use. lib -- lib bough raw chee died

of aids. it was well crafted speeches like this one like jacqueline bissette. [applause]. i think it was the 47 years ago hollywood foreign press gave me a promising nomination for the -- a promising new comer. >> all right. then there was the tribute to woodial lynn with diane keaton singing an old girl scout song "make new friends." >> ♪ make new friends, but keep the old ♪ ♪ one is silver ♪ and the other's gold >> probably not good advice to

give to woody allen if you know what i mean. he will go and look for new friends and likely in high school. and allen's son,/ brother-in-law responded by saying i missed the tribute. did they put the part where he molested her at age 7 before or after annie hall? and the favorite "red eye" getting the recognition he was due. >> all right, all right, all right. >> probably the best words ever said on celluloid. i don't know if you watched the globes. you were probably doing something sexy. >> those highlights just confirmed why i don't watch award shows. if anyone drank like they did at the golden globes they would be more entertaining. i can't believe they were applauding jacqueline bissette's nonspeech.

they were applauding her for not talking. >> maybe it was a bit of sympathy and compassion. >> is that what you call that? >> it is a recognition that she was robbed for "the deep." >> and that poster weighs on me. google the image, america, when you have the time. you won't be sorry. joe, how awesome was it for you? >> horrendous. i hate award shows. it is a pointless circle jerk with rich and famous people congratulating each other and i will never be invited. i thought farrow's tweet was nasty, but things are pretty awkward around the table for easter dinner when woody comes over. >> that's the thing. woody does -- doesn't come over. i don't know the case very well that he molested a 7-year-old who was his stepdaughter and i don't understand what went on. they officially believe, roman and -- they believe that he did. >> and when she grew up she

came forward and said that it had happened. >> that's amazing. >> i was actually involved in that case. >> how so? >> i am not kidding. in 1992 i worked in a video store in connecticut and their nanny came in and said do you duplicate tapes here? we said yeah. it turns out the tape she wanted duplicated was the daughter preparing testimony for connecticut state authorities, and the next day a woman from the show "a current affair" came in and said" we heard you have the woody allen testifying tape and we will give you $20,000 for the tape." i didn't know where it was. and not only that, the nanny acted like she wanted guitar lessons. she was only using me to get her vhs tape duplicated. >> that's hilarious. you were used. >> i am the real victim in this case. >> used by the nanny. remi, what do you make of this whole situation with woody allen? >> with woody allen?

the golden globes? they said this is the event of the year where everybody lets their hair down and they are themselves. it seemed that way this year. everyone, not just the actors and the ago -- actresses from the people putting up the writing on e! news and the camera tele prompter people got everything wrong. everybody seemed to have trouble. i feel badly for jacqueline bissette. they put her in the back of the room. >> it took her two hours to get there. >> she was clearly on something, whether it was drugs or alcohol or both. she couldn't stand up and she couldn't speak. >> maybe she was nervous and high on life. >> she was a hot mess. >> talk about the globes, huh? >> the person i felt sorry for was roman polanski. he has to be going, i guess if i was funny it would be okay. >> that's true. has he won an award? >> he won, but he can't get back in the country. he shouldn't get back in the country. meanwhile woody allen walks around a and is given lifetime

achievement awards. >> big difference though. roman polanski pled guilty and then fled. woody allen has denied -- >> don't kill my joke, remi. >> woody allen has been married to soon ye this whole time. that is unexpected. >> can i show quickly the worst moment of the show? can we roll it? >> the golden globe goes to jarod leto. >> i mean look at that. are you kidding me? >> look at that. that's a ponytail. >> first of all his performance was overrated in "dallas buyers club" and then second of all, just look at him. >> you hate ponytails. >> on women. >> his role in that film was completely fictional even though it was based on a true story. >> and he wasn't a rodeo rider. i hate to ruin the movie. it is actually a good movie. >> is parkinsons not fun? can we confirm that? >> it is not fun. i am pretty clear on that.

you know what movie should have been nominated? "don john." that was a good movie. isn't it a great movie? >> it is great. >> it is a movie about pornography's effect on couples, and it takes place in jersey. >> a a young man obsessed with porn. >> i loved that movie. >> because you could identify with it. >> i don't know what you are talking about. i condemn all pornography of every kind. except some german pornography. the ones that a are rare between 87 and 89 that involve a coffee table. >> move on, greg. >> coming up, the c block. the c block is sponsored by gas compressor stations. the facilities that help the transportation process of natural gas from one location to another. thanks, gas compressor stations. you're welcome, greg. i'd like to compress you. ha, ha, ha. >> sorry, i am taken gas compression sphaition.

station. sorry i'm lonely. you will find somebody. hang in there. do you have any drugs?

lib raw chee

does mtv's "drek" keep teens in check? a new study claims "teen mom" and its spinoff" 16 and pregnant" lead to a reduction

in teen births. researchers suggest instead of glamorizing having a baby it may act as a deterrent. the authors came to the conclusion after learning 70% of teens have watched the show. many on social media describe it as birth control. also after broadcast google searches for contraception and abortion go up. and here is another reason for the drop in teen pregnancies. >> easy in there. >> look. we are playing catch. >> you find that funny, remi? that's good. dog attacks man and remi laughs because, hey, it is just another guy. he is getting attacked by a dog. joe, are you surprised by the finding or the opposite, not surprised? >> a little surprised. i am also a little sleepy. it is good news, i think, that

people are seeing these stories as cautionary tales and nothing to emulate. but you hear of these things at mtv. they do affect people. when i watched mtv thousands of years ago i really thought they were showing me how life was going to turn out. i thought the "hot for teacher" video was a documentary and my life would turn into that. these pregnancy shows, there is that one "i didn't know i was pregnant." i am pitching a show care i was pregnant." like she knew and didn't care. >> yeah, i thought -- i used to watch mtv and think that's how my life would turn out. it never happened. >> you still grind. >> i used to do my own grind. people at home don't know what i am talking about, and if you do you are old like me. rick, you have daughters and i guess you think are you some kind of expert on this? >> teen pregnancy? >> i don't know. >> listen, i thought they were doing the show as a public service. it worked.

congratulations, mtv. the problem is if this trend continues they will run out of subjects to profile on the show and then teen pregnancy will go back up again. >> it is like an ebb and flow of teenage pregnancy. remi, at age 17 you were a mother by five men. would these shows make you more cautious? >> well, given my age and the fact i have no children -- you know, i wouldn't have a problem with that now. they would be all grown up. i am not really sure how to answer that question. but i will say this on a completely unrelate unrelated topic, i didn't realize mtv served a real purpose anymore. when we were growing up it was brand-new and we saw videos and madonna's viers video and we waited to see it. there was "the real world" and now i feel a little proud for the network that they are doing a public service.

>> i don't think they meant to do it. >> i do. i can't see a bunch of executives saying let's make a tv show that is going to gam more rise teen presenting nen -- glamorize teen pregnancy. i can imagine a meeting showing let's do this and show how difficult it is. gist -- just a few years ago there was that pact that the teenage girls where they just wanted to get pregnant and it was becoming trendy for 15, 16-year-old girls to get pregnant and mtv was showing the reality. unlike this real life show shows how hard and forever different your life will be with a baby. >> which is so dishonest because having kids is easy especially when you are a teenager. >> i learned something. i thought the teen birthratey meant the number of births to teens. >> that's impossible. >> now i wonder why people looked at me -- now i realize why people looked at me funny. i am skeptical of the

correlation equals causation conclusion that we don't know. and it tracks teen birthrate and not teen pregnancy rate. it is birth control and abortion. i am not sure pro life conservatives should be saying this is a great thing. i have a suspicion that a nice chunk of that is abortion. >> i think you are right too. that's a very good point, andy levy. all right, next topic, an iranian news agency, they have them there, is reporting that edward snowden's leaked document provides incon trough vertable proof that the united states is run by a a secret shadow government of space aliens. according to fars news, the aliens known as the tall white had previously been responsible for the rise of nazi military supremacy in the 1930s and currently now lead by president obama. they even use the creation of the controversial nsa

surveillance program to, quote, hide all true information about their presence here on earth as they enter into what one of snowden's documents call the final phase of the end plan for total domination and world rule. i will go to you andy, first. you were mouthing finally over and over and over again. >> it seems to me you think edward snowden owes a huge a apology. none of this is news to anybody paying attention. not to be confused with the -- the tall whites not to be confused with the grays or the rep till yens, they have been working with the military for years and they made a deal with president eisenhower in 1954. and then eisenhower warns about the military industrial complex. the tall whites wanted to keep the military leak possible. don't think the propaganda like "close encounters" makes

you think they are friendly. friends don't abduct friends, greg unless there is role playing involved. but friends don't abduct friends. >> i am waiting to see the connection between the tall white and the chem trails that will be coming out in a couple weeks. >> i can't believe you are waiting for that. >> maybe the government can cover up some things. but you will look up and say what about that, america? >> it is technology from the grave. i don't know what you are waiting for. >> i don't know either. rick, as proof -- >> what the hell are you two talking about? >> thank you. >> it is not even in the talking points. i never even heard of this story before and you are going on and on. the -- >> the truth is not a talking point, rick. >> who told you to say that, rick? who are you working for? >> what is wrong with you. >> is this a mask? no it's real. and it smells great. >> it smells like talc. >> it smells like peppermint and sex. >> that's my natural scent.

>> you are like a giant peppermint stick of arousal. >> i have been called that before. >> i know. i don't even know what the question is. if i phrase it in the shape of a question. >> then i would give you an answer. >> and the answer would be like this. >> something like that. that's exactly what i would say. >> and i would say well done. >> yes, i would and then make some kind of joke. >> you're welcome. my pleasure. >> remi, you are iranian so i think you might be -- >> i knew about this? i have the inside scoop and of course the iranian news always gets it right as i watch every night on my local cable station. >> right. >> i don't understand the sorry at all. but space aliens that the government is aware of and -- i wouldn't put it past president obama. >> there you go. that's the intro i was looking for. >> we can impeach him.

>> impeach him and replace him with a tall gray. joe -- i don't even know what that means. who cares about the phone tapping? this is what we need to know about. >> i don't know my iranian news sources, but we have to give them credit from all of the conspiracy stuff. what i love about conspiracy theories is they connect one dot too many. that's why big foot shot jfk. >> a perfect example is the intersection of the occult and the nazis in "aliens." you could connect the dots. >> you mean the history channel a? >> you can connect the nazis to some kind of occult through the various symbols. >> it is called the spear of destiny. >> i am so sick of this. >> wake up, people. >> we will be right back. it is time to take a break.

when we come back we will talk about something. if you haven't ordered it yet, are you not cool. pre order it and all book retailers can go to my website g gutfeld.com.

to quote easy e she is too legit to quit. a-rod won't give up the fight ever. it is like he is on something. it is not really a-rod. he is suing the players union trying to overturn a season long suspension turned down by an arbitrator on saturday. they said there was clear and convincing rules and twice tried to obstruct the drug investigation. the man said he injected a-rod with performance-enhancing drugs and had a very structured regimen.

>> alex cared. alex wanted to know. he would study the product. he would study the dosageses because he wanted to achieve all of his human performance or in this case sports performance objective. the most important one was the the800 homerun club. >> he looked so serious there. i mean, really? it is baseball. rod's lawyer says this is all a witch hunt by major league baseball. what happened here. rick, you followed the story. what is the significance of the name uh rod. is he well hung? >> allegedly. >> i heard that by a number of people. >> his lawyer was here at fox today. >> really? >> yesterday. >> you interviewed him? >> i did. but while i was waiting to interview him he got a call from the federal court and he had to -- he wasn't there so he had to do the court action

over the phone from one of our green rooms here at fox. >> this is how news is made. >> sounds like a great lawyer. >> lawyer by phone. >> i have more riveting a-rod stories coming up. >> do you think he will plead guilty? >> according to his lawyer he will -- he has three years left on his contract after the one year suspension. even if he serves a one-year suspension and it is $60 million worth of contracts he is not walking away. >> quickly, remi, your thoughts? >> i know his lawyer. he is an excellent lawyer. >> you know everybody. >> he is an excellent lawyer. if a-rod has a chance i think his lawyer will get it for him. it will be very difficult in the court though jie. what do you know about him? >> i know his lawyer. i will say whatever performance enhancing drugs a-rod has been taking they are definitely out of his system by october. that's completely cleared. >> baseball joke.

andy, can't we just legalize this stuff. if strippers can get breast implants, why can't a-rod take drugs? >> i like that he had a very structured regimen. he was really serious about them. he should be for given. i am worried he will only make 2.9 million of the twenty million in his contract this year. can we set up a kick-starter for him? >> that would be nice. you know, his mortgage has to be in the millions. this will be tough. maybe he will get a normal haircut. i can't stand his hair. we have to go now. coming up, our last story of the night which andy has been trying to get us to do because it is about cats and what is wrong with cats? it is not the musical.

coming up tomorrow on the next "red eye" we have return appearances from buck sexton and sandra smith is remi. >> e block. last story. that's the last story. >> there is another remi, remi. she got all ticked off because she saw another remi. >> i didn't know there was another remi on "red eye." >> let me just do the story. instead of provoking fear you are viewed as a peer. according to a british

biologist cats think of you as a larger nonhostile version of themselves. doctor john bradshaw spent 30 years studying cats. must be nice. he believes they don't view humans as another species the way dogs do. for instance, by rubbing up against you a cat is treating you like it would treat its mother. that's what i tell the police. and when you see an upright tail, it is actually a greeting sign between cats. bottom line, cats are very stupid. so why don't we just go to andy. oh. andy left. >> why? >> i guess it is some kind of weird protest. >> too personal. >> he doesn't like talking about cats so he left. >> it is a conflict of interest. >> he can't actually cover this story objectively. >> i think i hear him in the back using the litter box. >> andy is a lot funnier when he is not here. >> nicely done. it is like the ghost of andy. rick,.

>> yes? do you have a question? >> cats haven't invented anything. >> as far as i'm aware of. >> i don't see cat tools, cat automobiles. how can they see us as cats? they have to look at us and say wow, look at all of this great stuff like cupboards and junk. >> you know what the study says? cats are inherently evil. >> it is true. >> cats are satan's spawn. they are vindictive, nasty beast. in fact, the study does say eventually they will take over the world. instead of planet of the apes, it will be planet of the cats. >> that's a great idea for a movie. >> you know how we know? they can sit on a toilet and use the toilet. >> but they can't invent the toilet. if the cat thinks you are a big cat, primarily because of the jacket, does the cat think are you a nare saw cyst? >> i have never seen a cat nag another cat to feed it. they go to the top of the food

chain for that. i really enjoy those videos. have you seen the one of the giant dogs who can't walk past the cats because he is so afraid of the cats? >> yes. >> it is funny because the cats know this. i had a frentd -- friend who had two great danes and were terrified when the cats walk by. they know it and they choose to use it for evil instead of good. >> i had great danes. ben and alec and it was for one weekend and it cost me $3,000. then they stole my tv. hi, remi. >> i am afraid. >> you get the last word. >> i agree with rick. cats are evil. they are vengeful, cold. i have trained my two dogs, one of which is a pittbull mix. >> really? >> yes. if a cat ends up in our backyard, the dogs know what to do with them. >> oh my god. that is terrible. >> we have had a couple of burials. >> wow, are you like a cat -- you train your dog to attack cats only if they are in your yard? >> if it comes on my property

the dogs know what to do. >> send your angry letters to her and not to me. i love cats. the way they walk around with their paws and whiskers. it is like men in fur coats. goodbye. it.

see you tonight on fbn. bob, hello, everyone. i'm dana perino along with kimberly guilfoyle, bob beckel, who is paying attention, andrei bekh, and greg gutfield. it's 5:00 in new york, and this is "the five." a fox news alert. just a short while ago, president obama gave his first remarks on the new book out tomorrow by former defense secretary robert gates. we're going to play that for you in a moment. first, gates gave his first fev interviews on the controversial memoir today. one of the things he wrote about was the president's commitment to the afghan war. he had a chance to elaborate on that. >> it's one thing to tell the truths that you support them. it's another to work it, making