hello, everyone. i'm andrei bekh along with andrea tantaros, bob beckel, greg gutfield, and dana perino. it's 5:00 in new york city and this is "the five." >> for some reason, president obama just can't get us off his mind. it's almost like we live rent free in his head. >> i've got one television station entirely devoted to attacking my administration. >> just in case some of your friends or neighbors or, you know, uncle jim who is a little stubborn and been watching fox news -- >> if you talk to somebody who said, well, i don't know. i was watching fox news and they said this is horrible --

>> talking about fox. >> that's a pretty big megaphone. >> big is right. today, the new yorker released more of their extensive interview with the president. he said, they said, quote, the issue has been the inability of my message to penetrate the republican pabase so they feel persuaded i'm not the caricature that you see on fox news or on rush limbaugh. why can this man not get us out of his mind? >> because every day, he's getting bludgeoned. and we also have a very aggressive and good white house correspondent who i would say is fairly aggressive when it comes to questioning the press secretary. but you know, a lot of the people who come on fox are people who have some decidedly different views, although there are people like me who strongly support obama in some areas. but i tell you right now, this is not the time to be picking fights with people. i mean, when you're sitting where you are in the polls, the

general rule of thumb in politics is let your enemies be quiet, embrace your friends, but don't attack your opponents. >> seems like blame us, blame rush, blame the republican house. blame anyone but don't blame me. >> he does seem to have an unhealthy regard -- you know how he always says, i don't watch the news, i don't do this, but he seems to know an awful lot about it. it can't be just the staff coming in in the morning and telling the president what happened on fox news. i disagree with his assessment, obviously, but when he complains he hasn't been able to penetrate the republicans, this from a washington post columnist who was a speechwriter for president bush who i think has been very fair to the president. these are some of the words that president obama himself used in the second inaugural address. it's not like he was trying to be inclusive here. some of them include that his opponents mistake absolutism for principles. name calling is raising debate.

they believe that the twilight years of seniors should be spent in poverty, and they want to insure that parent of disabled parents have nowhere to turn and reserve freedom for the lucky. those are president obama's own words from the second inaugural. yes, they should blame themselves. and also, when they say there is this one television station that is dedicated to just, you know, opposing him all the time, look, they do have a television station that is dedicated solely to promoting him. and it's not our fault that no one watches it. >> fair and balanced. take both sides. bob is proof of that. greg, does president obama or jay carney and the group watch "the five"? >> they better. they might learn something. you know why he's singling out fnc? it's not his fault -- this is what happens when media, who is supposed to speak truth to power, advocates their roles in exchange for acceptance. he finds his media in his mind to be his own bordello, except

there's one lady who won't sleep with him, and she happens to be the hottest one, which is fnc. he's like a rejected suiter, and fnc can't satisfy him anymore, and he says me, me, why not me? and we go, sorry, too obvious. >> we're too hot for you. are we too hot for the president? >> what a question. i suppose we are, greg. and no, i will not sleep with president obama. i guess is your analogy. i'm still thinking of you saying living in obama's head rent free. as much as i pay in rent, i still don't think i would want to live in his head rent free, i'll still take the upper west side. it's still liberal, but the statement, fox news is the reason i can't get my message to penetrate the republican base. the republican base doesn't want your message. >> right. >> we have heard it. we haven't heard it from fox news. we heard it from your own mouth, and we don't want it, and it's

the same one over and over again is what they're saying. i think he's deeply in trouble. like any team in trouble, he tends to go to the playbook and run the same play. when he's deeply down in the polls and not very popular, it's like he does the old clinton maneuver of let your enemies define you. find an enemy, go after them, and he's done it before and he thinks somehow this is going to benefit him by blaming a network that is just giving both sides. >> one thing i will say. look, cable news does set the trend for reporting during the day. it used to be the "new york times." now cable news is sort of dominating the 24-hour cycle. >> don't you think that's morning joe more than any other -- in terms of a policy debate, setting the agenda? >> i think "the five" helps contribute to that. >> but that's not until later in the day. i happen to know that michelle obama has watched the show. she would not put this up as

necessarily her happiest show, but -- and i sit here day in and day out, and you have some problems with obama. i can understand obama's frist frustration. the problem is there's no end game here. >> it is like republicans, though, who try to always run against the media. it doesn't work, and it wears thin after a while. i mean, it can maybe help you in a republican primary when newt gingg wrich was constantly goin after the media. that worked well for him. >> we have negativism. >> i two more topics. mike huckabee spoke at the rnc's winter meeting where he said democrats thrive off making women believe they need birth control. listen carefully. >> our party stands for the recognition of the equality of women and the capacity of women. that's not a war on them. it's a war for them. and if the democrats want to insult the women of america by making them believe that they are helpless without uncle sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for

birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, so be it, let us take that discussion all across america. >> okay, the media was quick to run with this and help push the so-called gop's war on women. greg, the way i understand i sp democrats' voice, right? >> this is one of those common intentionally misconstrueants by vile weirdos. this only happens to conservatives. he was saying women he would talk to are tired of democrats treating them like dependent creatures. he's not saying they are dependent creatures. that's why conservatives, all of us -- bob, sorry -- all of us must try harder because we will always have a target on our back, and they will shoot at you, not just when you're wrong but especially you're right. they will go after you because he is right. that's why they went after him. >> hang in there, bob. i have to go to ang on this one.

they circle the wagons all day long on the other networks, all the politicos, all the pundits are saying huckabee clearly was talking about his feelings, and he wasn't, was he? >> he was talking about his feelings. the first part of his statement, i thought, was very good. there's a point in which he should have stopped. he hit the nail on the head, and really, women did show, not all women, but a majority of women showed this last election, shockingly, yes, they do want their sex lives subsidized by the government. here's what i think. mike huckabee is a wonderful man. i know what he meant to say, but i think there needs to be a new rule. men in the republican party need to never use the word birth control again. or any man, for that matter. they can talk about the religious exemption. that's totally fine, but if they want to put a stake in the ground over denying women birth control, which is a very personal decision, i think it is a huge mistake, but democrats

know it's the long-term key to democratic allegiance. when women have kids and get married, they tend to lean right. just don't take the bait, republican men, anymore. leave it alone. you're never going to win that one. >> go ahead, bob. >> i have known mike huckabee a long time, too. we had a long talk about this one night. he's about the least sexist man i know on that side, for an arkansas governor, he's a good, decent guy, but andrea is right. republican men, look, we go far on the other side and use it. we use it against you, but repen men have an inability to talk to women in this country without stepping on them. >> that's because you guys target -- going back to what i was saying. you're looking for it. we have a much higher bar. >> of course, greg, we're looking for it. but that means you ought not say it. >> can i get in here? shouldn't mike be able to say that? exactly what he said without being absolutely abused by the left? >> you can say whatever you

want, but you have to understand if you're going to give a big speech like that, everybody is speculating whether huckabee is going to run in 2016. you're going to address the rnc at their big convention. this is a speech everyone wanted to see. so as the speaker, you have an obligation to say, all right, what is the message i want people to walk away with? he had a good one, which is that republicans are waging a war for women. that's what we should have wa walked away with. whoever was editing the speech, and even if it was him, when you read through, you need somebody like me who will say, libido? no, if you say libido in a speech as a republican man, that is the only word that people are going to remember. so he had a really good speech, and i know it's a word that's like, i guess it rolls off the tongue, like a great word, and it absolutely ruined his message. >> when men talk about women's sex lives and birth control, it's creepy. >> we have to move on.

a conservative filmmaker who made a movie critical of the president has been indicted for allegedly using improper means to direct funds to certain political campaigns. okay, so if he's wrong, he should be investigated, but matt sees a pattern here. he tweeted, quote, they're going after the obama critics with indictments. virginia governor, now dezsousa. holder unleashing the dogs. unleashing the dogs? maybe. you want to jump on this? >> oh, yeah, i think this is politically motivated. it appears the fbi just dug through every piece of his past to try to find something. when you look at this, this is arguably the most important u.s. attorney's office in the country. they handle wall street, terrorism, they handle major corporate bankruptcies. they have it all, and they assigned an fbi team to dig through a filmmaker's records to find one simple infraction? it's chilling, and where is hollywood to defend this filmmaker?

i wonder. >> bob, could you imagine if the doj went after, i don't know, the fast and furious, benghazi, irs, with the same veracity they seem to be going after a filmmaker? >> it would never be enough veracity for you. but this case is one of pure simple greed and taking money from lobbyists. those are facts. if you read the indictments against this man, he's a guy, purportedly, now, who took money from friends to direct it to somebody who was his, to the tune of $20,000. that's blatantly illegal. you can argue he was picked out, but when you say $20,000 to an unwinnable candidate, and he gets people directing money, he has broken the law. >> dana, i believe his attorney made a statement saying there was no quid pro quo. >> we know how this administration feels about preblthding the rights of filmmakers. we still have one in jail who was falsely accused of creating the terrorism attack that

happened in benghazi. however, if you're dinesh d' souza, you have to expect that the government will be looking at you. >> he broke the law. >> i don't know that he broke the law. there's an indictment. his attorney said he did not. so if the scales of justice are equal, then he has a chance to defend himself. >> he does have a chance to defend himself. >> i'm not sure that the -- this really just got released just a couple minutes before the show. i'm not sure he said he didn't break the law. he said there was no quid pro quo. so he may have broken the law, but it wasn't -- >> can i make a point, though? >> yes. >> whether he broke the law or not will be decided later. you have to look at the context of the last year or so between this, the irs, foa, cuomo, the message is clear, tolerant will no longer tolerate dissent. the tide is turning against them and they're getting nervous and

the leftists are finding their innerstalin. >> you talk about targeting people. >> under the same law you say he broke? >> yeah. >> interfering in campaign finance to influence elections. didn't, as greg points out, the irs do exactly that, interfering with political groups to influence the election? the special prosecutor said nothing to see here. >> you can put it off on all kinds of people. the facts are the facts are the facts. if he can prove the facts, he has broken the law, and a serious breach of the law. >> we need to go. >> up next, this "new york times" magazine cover is generating a lot of heat. why can't the left-wing media eclipse their bias for planet hillary? we'll debate that later. and lots of reaction to bob's gangster get-up from yesterday. who does he think he is? tony soprano. we'll reetd some of the best feedback from our facebook page up next on "the five."

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to work day at the "new york times" because only a small-brained amphibian could have made this weekend's magazine cover. it's for a piece on hillary clinton called planet hillary. looks like the world's scariest basketball or the world's creepiest easter egg. floeby from pee-wee's playhouse, you should sue. like a grim gob stopper from a tim burton nightmare where nothing ever matters, especially the past. an asteroid in a pant suit. how amazing is it that hillary can be so big, so all seeing, but completely miss benghazi or her husband's past indiscretions. was see too busy baking cookies? every she has major blind spots or she just doesn't care. i would say what difference does it make? but that's shooting fish in a barrel. they could cream dream up the cn

a feverish stupor. meanwhile, in the reeal world, t retches in the toilet. i ask the republican party, can't you find one smart, accomplished republican woman and run against her. if not, our world will be hillary's and you'll be living in your manes. >> how can you laugh at such an obvious joke? by the way, andrea, it's not hillary's fault that she's on the globe. i think anybody would look creepy if you put them on a globe like that. >> yeah. >> but does that help or hurt her? >> i think it hurts her. it also, i think, hurts her to be the front runner, as we have seen with chris christie. it doesn't help when the media has anointed you. but an entire planet, get ready for this one. also, the "new york times" the paper, this is the magazine, decided to do a glowing story about how all these obama people

are lining up behind hillary today, which is showing that she really is going to be the anointed one if she decides to run. i don't know what she's going to do, but i see her as one of the most overrated people ever. i mean, a corrupt first lady in arkansas. her hillary care almost sabotaged her husband's presidency. she had almost no accomplishments in new york as a senator, was beat by president obama who couldn't run a hotdog stand. what did she do to deserve her face on -- >> a planet. >> a planet? >> yeah, bob, i know you want to refute all of that. >> yeah, i mean, i think that is just a blanket indictment of somebody who has had a lot of accomplishments. having said that, front runners, particularly in the democratic party, it's tough going wire to wire from owaw, getting through the convention. this is starting early. a lot of people are going to start taking shots at her. if i were her, i would be quiet

for another six months. she's going to take a tour of california. not a good idea as far as i'm concerned. she has all the money in the world, people working on it, an organization built in, but the more exposed the front runner is, the bigger the target is. but secretary of state, she did remarkable things and good think in the senate. generals will tell you they like her. >> you mean general petraeus? >> petraeus happens to like her a lot. >> i know, but i remember that hearing very well. >> i'm just saying what petraeus has said about her. >> because he's gracious. >> he may be gracious, but other generals say it as well. nonetheless, there's such a thing as overexposure for a candidate. >> time magazine did a similar thing where -- it's always like she's huge. in this case, she's stepping on a man. i guess we don't have that cover. well, let me act it out -- there it is. so the media sees her as this

massive creature from outer space. >> you know, the media is kind of right in the sense that her campaign is going to be massive. she's going to blow all of the fund-raising records out of the water. gravitational pull gets bigger, money is going to flow. alluding to your monologue, where is benghazi, lewinsky, on the dark side of the moon, the dark side of the planet, but that's okay. it works for her. her husband said to be a good politician, you have to have no memory, so she's good at doing that. i think it's kind of interesting that obama's infrastructure for raising money is now going to back hillary clinton. he was against super pacs before he's for super pacs and now he's going to help another democrat win the white house. >> goes back to my mantra that republicans need a chick in the game, dana. dana. condoleezza, sarah palin, dana perino. >> sarah palin? >> sarah palin could beat

hillary, i think. am i crazy? >> no, she could not. >> in america today, right now? >> i think you did drink before the show based on that comment. >> i'm not trying to disparage her, but she couldn't win against her right now. >> you need a strong republican woman. >> you just need a strong republican with a good message and a position. i'm not going to speak of gender transplants, but i do think that it doesn't matter who -- i mean, what gender you are. >> at this point, it does. >> this is hillary clinton's world, and we're all just living in it. that will be for a while. however, it could be she will never get as good of press as she's getting right now. you could leave on a high note, and then imagine all of the pieces that the media could write about, how did we get it so wrong? what did we do? why didn't we make this happen? we didn't do the right thing by her in 2008, and then we screwed it up for 2016. >> can i make one comment in glo closing? she will have a primary opponent

in the 2016 election. >> named joe biden? >> no. >> bye-bob beckel? eric bolling? >> and if a republican woman would run, they would treat that republican woman as a republican man. they would not treat her as a woman, just on the final point on the new york magazine cover. i'm surprised they didn't make her the sun. >> that's true. >> right? she lights everything. >> that would have offended obama. >> you know the other thing? there's no whitewater on the moon. >> ladies and gentleman, that's a good joke. >> it was a great that fell flat last night. >> amazing. all right. okay, coming up, security concerns as the sochi olympics intensifies as the state department issues an alarming new warning to athlete. could their team usa uniform put them in danger? we have that next on "the five.ñ

all right, thank you, greg, for that musical rendition. we're just two weeks away from the start of the olympic games in sochi. >> sochi. >> sochi, russia, and security concerns are dominating the headlines. the danger so real, apparently, that the u.s. athletes are being told not to wear their u.s. gear outside of the compound. here, a hockey star explains the fear from an athlete's perspective. >> i couldn't tell you for sure what's going on in that region, but there's some alarming things that have been happening that kind of make you a little uneasy at times. >> and it's not just the athletes who have invested a lot in the olympics. their families have, as well. listen to the parents of a speed skater. >> he wanted us to stay home so that he wouldn't have to worry about us.

one less thing to be concerned about. >> the fredericks said it was a tough decision, after following tucker's skating career since he was 11. >> kind of bittersweet. we wanted to go to support him, but we understand he has to concentrate on the race, and we said, okay, we'll stay home and watch you on tv. >> former presidential candidate mitt romney, who was ceo of the 2002 salt lake city games, says the fear is overblown. >> there's never been a games that i know of that has been so targeted for specific threats as you're seeing in sochi. at the same time, the level of security preparations appears to be at an unprecedented level. so i think people can recognize that the hard sites will be safe. the athletes will be safe. spectators when they're in the venues will be safe. >> eric, can you imagine that? if you son worked so hard to get to the olympics and it was your chance to go and so him, and your son said, actually, i think it's better so i don't have to worry about you, so i can concentrate, and you don't go?

>> then they win. i hate the thought that we're going to change our behavior because some terrorists say they're going to target the olympics. this happens all the time. they target everything. i walk saed out of a show one d and a guy texted me and said i have my eye on you. i'm going to hit you with a baseball bat because of what you said about unions. >> that was bob. >> you can't change your behavior, otherwise they win. by the way, mitt romney, good job. i agree with you. >> what was not put on that romney said, all the venues would be protected, the athletic village would be protected, but outside of where tourists stay would be the place he would worry about. we didn't put that in the clip. that's one. this is in sarajevo, we do the same thing. the athletes should not leave the compound, the olympic village to go out, because then there was a civil war just ending. now you're in the hotbed of terrorism in the caucasus. i couldn't think of a worse

place to put it short of tehran. >> andrea, i wanted to ask you what you think putin is thinking right now in terms of -- do you think this is the lead-up he was expecting? because they have so many problems with the chechen rebels, maybe this wasn't unexpected? >> i think putin is probably thinking, do everything you can to make sure this doesn't happen. he's not a good man, vladimir putin, but he does understand the threat of radical islamic terrorists. they have struck in his country, at schools, at movie theaters. he has not said that they're decimated or we're not add war with them. he understand it. the other thing about russia is they don't have those pesky things called civil liberties. i think people are going to get letters, sorry we shot your son. if we think you're a threat, we'll blow you up. >> he has been able to control the media in russia. he basically tells you what you're going to hear, but he

can't control the world's media. >> that's true. it worries him. the reason some of those athletes may be in danger is because the outfits are ugly. jackets look like they were sewn in the dark. i have a question. if an athlete, god forbid, is injured, do you arrest the makers of the uniforms? because after all, we arrested the maker of a film that caused islamic terror. so it's not the terrorists' fault, it's the people who insight the terror. they're the bad guys. also, the athlete telling his parents not to come, maybe he just wants to party. lastly, you know what is a great uniform? you have to see the german uniforms. they're like sexy popsicles. look at that. i think they're making a political statement. they're using rainbow colors, i guess to protest the russian anti-gay laws, but those are pretty amazing. >> remember that dress made out of peeps they had for easter last year? >> fantastic. i hope everything -- i hope that russians get it together. we don't want anybody hurt. >> let's keep in mind the '72

munich olympics where the israelis lost a good number of their team members. i keep coming back to that. it's haunting. the israelis secured that area very well. >> it's different now. >> way different. the world has changed. >> it's changed, i agree with you. >> one of the reasons is we can track people and their communications. >> putin is such an ego maniac, i couldn't imagine something reflecting bad on him. >> he has been helpful in fig fighter terrorism. >> directly ahead, it looks like just justin bieber's legal problems could go from bad to worse. could he be booted back to canada for breaking the law in the united states? the next on bieber fever on "the five."

just when the streets are finally safe from lindsay lohan, justin bieber comes out of nowhere, arrested in miami beach earlier this morning on charges of dui, resisting arrest, driving with an expired license, and he's in trouble with his grandparents for not stopping by to visit. >> a lot of poem like jimmy cipal, are joking about justin bieber getting arrested for street racing under the influence and getting arrested, but even his most loyal belibors won't be able to bail him out. he faces the possibility of being deported back to canada if he's convicted of an aggravated felony. with t will the biebs ever cross that line? dana, do you think he will do it? because he's on an '01 visa, which apparently has to be reviewed every year. it's for people with extraordinary ability in the sciences, arts, education, business, or athletics. that's why he's here.

do you think they'll send him back to canada? >> i think they should keep him here to get his tax money. i think what canada is in a strong position here. because the united states of america, because of president obama's recanctrance on keystone pipeline, has been waiting for five years on an up or down answer. they'll say, we'll take him back as long as we can get a yes or no, and then we can make a decision and solve this diplomatic nonsense right away. >> even if you have a dui or break the law, president obama doesn't care if you're here illegally. he said you can stay. and look at this full-screen that the biebs sent out earlier today. check this out. he compared himself to michael jackson. there's a side-by-side of the biebs and michael jackson. he said what more can they say? with a little king symbol. i'm sure you can say a little more about that. >> yeah, that didn't turn out too well for michael jackson. here's how i feel about bieber. i hope he dyes his hair and

grows a beard and lives anonymously for a year and learns what it's like to be grateful for all of the things he achieved. typically, you ground your kids by sending them upstairs to their room. that's canada. i have taken down all of my bieber posters. i have replaced them with one direction because they have more talent and they're more delicious. >> gorgeous. >> a lot of legal experts have said just one miflsdemeanor, a dui, isn't enough to get rid of him. >> if that was the standard, there are 12 million or more than that. you would have to deport 12 million. justin bieber's father was seen with justin two hours after he posted bail for justin with bottles of alcohol. there's no question, he's 19 years old. i'm pretty sure in florida, i think the drinking age is 21, even if the federal drinking age is fwun. he's been enabled by his own family. i agree with dana.

keep him here. he made $58 million last year. $58 million last year. can you believe we live in a country where justin bieber can put down $58 million large? >> that depressed me. >> he's racing around in a yellow lamborghini. i think it was jimmy fallon who said, it's such an inconspicuous car there. amazing he would get caught. >> listen, here's the thing. he was introduced to america and to the entertainment scene as this clean-cut, wonderful kid from canada. his mother was keeping a tight reign on him, his grandparents were. his father, by the way, is not a nice guy. divorced his mother and only showed up when bieber took off. now, every incident he's been involved in has involved alcohol kid has a problem. he's got a $20,000 damage suit against him in california. he's being investigated. this kid doesn't need to go to canada. he needs to go to a very good

rehab, and people need to leave him alone. he needs about six or eight months off. >> they can also look at not just the charges they convict him up, but of the charges he admitted to, that he used prescription drugs and smoked pot. and they raided his house, and it does sound a lot like lindsay lohan with the mom enabling her. his dad is enabling him. >> you're nots supposed to take prescription drugs if you're under the influence of alcohol. >> all right, coming up, bob has vowed to get back in shape this year. you can smile, bob. he has been agreeing to a trainer and a new yoga class here in new york city might offer him another alternative. coed yoga in the nude. so will bob try that? find out next on "the five." [ male announcer ] what if a small company became big business overnight? ♪ like, really big...

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as you know, i tried yoga over the summer. ♪

>> this hurts. >> let's hear it. okay, awesome. bob, you did it. >> everyone in times square, including me, kept their clothes on. now, clothing is optional at bold and naked, the first coed naked yoga studio here in new york city. i'm getting in shape this year, but downward dog in the buff would disgust me. that's disgusting. now, let's turn to our yoga resident here, expert, and that is ms. dana perino, who does yoga virtually every day. would you go down and do this? >> i would nots. i go to a beach fully clothed, like with a hoodie and a scarf. >> i bet you do. >> i can't imagine the people who go to this are most likely not going to be like supermodels. >> really? >> oh, so the only people who can be naked have to be good looking? that's disgusting to me. there are a lot of people who aren't as hot as you are that

like to expose themselves. >> like who? >> times square. >> yes, 70,000 of them. >> go ahead, what about you? would you do it? >> i thought about this today. would i do it? >> i would go if you did. >> it sounds very unsanitary, especially if it's a hot yoga class. then i thought, what if i were mandated to go. i wouldn't want to be in the front row, and i wouldn't want to be in the back row, either. >> well, one person who probably would go, greg, what do you think? >> my rule is that people who get naked are the people you never want to see naked. >> yes, at the gym in the locker room today, i looked around. everyone who should be naked wasn't. and those who shouldn't were butt naked. >> the one person who we know could look okay naked besides dana is eric bolling. would you do it? >> absolutely not. >> why? >> can we pretend i'm single and this is available to me? >> let's pretend.

>> let's pretend. you think you're going to go there and see attractive women. isn't there going to be a problem at some point? >> also, the clothing for yoga is not very restricting. what are people hoping to achieve here? >> this is a mask for a -- >> pervert. >> yes, to get around certain laws. >> that's the problem with sexual anonymous, when they had that started. >> that's what it was for? >> yeah, it was. now, one of the things about yoga, as i understand it, it makes blood flow. >> that's the problem. blood may flow to a certain region. >> it flows freely in certain places. >> i don't know what you mean. what are you talking about? i'm so confused. >> okay, now, let me say something that can surprise a lot of you. i think it's disgusting, a lo horrible idea, and even i wouldn't participate in it. "one more thing" is up next. @w@g

all right. time for "one more thing." bob, you're first. >> what does that mean? okay, yesterday, i happened to wear an outfit that some of you, a lot of you on twitter, got in touch with us and said various things. let me read some of the things you said about me. norma, does this make him a thug? just asking. missy, he looks cute. thank you.

valerie, as much as i dislike his liberal thinking, he looks cool in this outfit. go go gator, you punk. piece of trash, drop dead, bob. bob is looking good. he lost some weight. now if he could just drop obama. our little monster teddy bear bob. shelly, republican, but really love bob. are you married? no, i'm not. send me a picture. >> are you looking? >> greg, you're up. >> the women watching, get your daughters around the tv. i know proms are not until may, but the shopping for prom dresses starts tomorrow. and i have some tips for you when you're buying a prom dress and some tips for the prom. number one, on the day of your prom, girls, do not get a facial. your skin is going to get irritated and you don't want a red face at the prom for the wrong reason. don't wear neon. you don't need to be flashy to be noticed. don't have your bobs hanging out of your dress. that's cheap.

don't wear high platform shoes because your going totake them off and your dress is going to hang on the floor. don't look different than you normally do every day. no fuchsia drinks. if you put your drink down, get a new one, including coca-cola. somebody might put something in. lastly, when you're buying your dress, dance in front of the mirror when you're trying it on. that's what i do. >> there's a million 17-year-olds who say, don't listen to him. >> and a prom dress purchaser? >> why does it start today or tomorrow? >> it's prom, prom, prom. >> how do you know this? >> i subscribe. >> andrea? >> okay, so remember when the captain and tennille said this? ♪ love love will keep us together ♪ >> apparently not, folks. after 39 years of marriage, the

captain and tony tennille, yes, they're headed for divorce. apparently, the captain was totally blindsided by tennille. this story has me very distraught. i thought we should have led with it as a soft rock junky. apparently, she just got tired of him after 39 years. i say after 39 years, what's the point. >> unless you become a methamphetamine freak. >> maybe he can't get his sails up, but darryl dragon also played in the beach boys. those are facts that the brain room won't give you at the fox news channel. very sad stuff. >> you mean the sales of his stuff? >> give it to me one more time? no, never again. >> you know what i forgot to do? i had a nexio for my prom tips. >> roll it. >> greg's prom tips. >> that guy is such a creepy voice. >> that was me singing but i felt bad because i worked on that and i forgot.

>> you'll be able to use it again. >> dana is up. >> one of the things happening in the polar vortex with the snow is in new york city, they have to put down the salt. the problem is it's bothering dawes' paws. this includes jasper, when had to wear these plastic shoes last night for the first time. he was like a kid wearing new shoes. they didn't last long. they fell asleep as soon as he went outside, so these are the boots we put on later. >> you have to be careful. >> it's a big problem. and i can't carry a 60-pound dog. >> one more thing? >> as a joke? i used methamphetamine, he did not. >> tomorrow, dvr, we're going to deconstruct the state of the union on tuesday. and the nfl is a 501-c3 charitable organization. is that okay or not okay? i tend to think it's okay. >> i think every business should be. >> sure you do.

>> that's "the five." don't forget to set your dvrs. see you back on monday. bret baier, "special report," up next. and welcome back to "hannity" tonight, tonight, we have a jam-packed edition of the show, america, are you ready? let's roll. news reports that justin bieber cried like a baby after yesterday's court appearance in miami. so how will the biebs stack up against other infamous celebrity meltdowns? winning. >> more evidence that an obama administration hit list does in fact exist. a new documentary shows mitt romney like you have never seen him. >> i just can't believe you're going to lose. >> yeah. >> would