tuning in before bill o'reilly pick up the dvr report and set a series recording each night. that way you never miss "on the record." up next bill o'reilly. good night from washington. tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye" is the government leaving our borders open to invasion? these brutes may be preparing for all out war. do they want to use taxpayer money to build a chuck e cheese on mars? >> we know how to do it. it is right for america. we need to get this done. >> and finally are butterflies homophobic? our pam -- panel tackles the questions they refuse to ask these bigoted insects. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight jie. now let's welcome our guest. she is

steamier than a sauna on the sun. i am here with columnist jedediahly bough. she dash jedediah bila. she is 47. and he has nothing going on for the rest of his life. get back to work. and if jokes were like crayons he would be a rainbow of colors. sherrod small. and if brains were glue i would sniff him every night. former new mexico governor gary johnson. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. some people think disneyland is the happiest place on earth, greg. apparently none of them have been in your arms. >> all right. will his action get any traction? president obama, if that's his real name, has warned he will sidestep congress if necessary to push forward his agenda in 2014. 234* tuesday's state of the

union, whatever, the president announced several executive actions including increasing the minimum wage for federal contract workers. he also addressed the issue of women making less money than men which prompted a reaction i did not expect. >> today women make up half of our workforce. but they still make 77 cents for every dollar a man earns. [applause]. >> wow. man, i didn't even see that part. vice president biden was amused by something he saw in the audience. >> now, one of the biggest factors in bring more jobs back is our commitment to american energy. >> finally after obama left the chamber things got heated between some democrats and

republicans. >> joint session of the two houses now dissolved. the house will come to order. >> what happened. >> i think i watched the wrong state of the union. >> i know. it was probably one of the best ones i have ever seen, governor and i am lying. what did you make of the speech on a scale of one being it sucked to 10 it really sucks? >> wow, that's fair. >> and balanced. >> you know, i'm in the camp that really likes what the guy has to say for the most part. there is just not reality -- there is not rubber that meets the road. the rhetoric does not match actions. this is the guy that said our health care premiums wouldn't rise. mine tripled over the last year.

no more loaded -- >> and then you know what was background noise was we have to have maternity coverage. we get excluded from that in 2014, but 2015 we need maternity coverage. this is the guy that said nothing was going to change. >> you can't trust him anymore. i told you this 10 years ago. let's pretend you actually watched the speech. >> i went to abc news and they didn't even air what i said about it. oh i got to kick somebody's butt over there. >> what did you say? >> actually it was a timing issue to get it up. we didn't finish until after 11:00. >> the timing issue, did all of the white people get to see it? >> yeah. walt disney wanted it. i thought he had a good speech. but maybe we will see some of these things actually happen. i am looking forward to it.

i believe in him. i am going to be an on optimist. show some respect. >> jedediah, you said obama's speech was a grand slam and you agreed with almost everything he said. that surprised me. >> we have heard this speech about 17 times from him. there was nothing new. i just think when it is interesting and he talks about all of the negative things happening on his watch he acts like it is not his fault. he is looking like a third party in on somebody else's administration. his policies have nothing to do with it, leak he is not part of the problem at all. there is no self-aware -- self-awareness in the process at all when i watch him speak. >> that's the mentality of a grad student who has the answers and doesn't have to act on them. andy, obama's state of the union he did not address cats. another missed opportunity to make a connection with the feline community. >> there are a lot of things he didn't address.

nothing about richard sherman. >> no mention ofma -- macklemore stealing the award. and he didn't talk about the pronunciation of transgender pronouns. i took a lot of salvage and experience points and i finished the third part of the mountain village in thechanty town. i was playing tomb raider. i was reading the transcript and thought i i don't have to watch it now. >> let's pull together. let's come together. that's code for as long as you do what i say. >> as long as you greaty with me. agree with me. >> if it wasn't gary johnson wouldn't you start off your state of the union and tell us what went on in ross well? >> ross well was great. i went there for fox news. >> ale can comment on is the

-- all i can comment on is the alien to work program and they are hard working individuals. >> they have the alien parade every year and the opening of the sky walk with buzz all dren. >> congratulations. any other things you have been to? have you been to disney world? >> is it hard sitting in your apartment with your pipe? >> it is. it is possible. >> i just think it is time to end this thing. >> it is all [bleep]. it doesn't matter who is a republican or democrat, it is a lie. >> if these speeches meant anything we would all be going home on high speed rail. that's every year it is high speed rail. >> wree supposed to -- we are supposed to close gitmo. >> most of america does -- doesn't watch it. we have to because it is our job. but they don't care. >> we can't find japan in two

hours like reagan wanted us to? remember that? >> no, i don't. you made that up. >> it was the we that did it. >> no mention of weed last night. no mention of drugs. >> i think we have gone through a whole bunch of state of the union addresses with no mention of drugs being the scurge of the universe. >> it is over. >> we are at a tipping point. >> that's a bar i often go to get high at. >> we had a war against drugs and drugs won. >> and we have the super bowl and two teams from the states that represent legalized marijuana. there you go. >> causation is not correlation or correlation is not causation? i don't know. i can't feel my legs. >> what happened with the nfl policy of no marijuana in states where marijuana is legal? >> i don't know. that's a question. >> for obama.

>> i didn't tell you it was a good one. but i want to move on. >> it is still banned for players. did she pull a boner by being a donor? a british woman who gave a kidney to her dying husband wants it back now that he has left her. this is hilarious. samantha lamb donated the organ to her hubby in 2009, but she says once he regained his health and he became randy having an affair with her friend and eventually leaving her he took her kidney and her friend. he denies being unfaithful and claimed the relationship was not working, but her kidney was. as for sam she says "i would definitely go through the operation again, but i wouldn't give the kidney to him. i hate him. if i could take it back i would and give it to someone else." >> too late now [bleep]. >> she later sent some men to get the kidney back.

>> that's the dude you are knocking the door down for? >> they just hated that door. >> those were miniature rised and that was an actual kidney. that's what a kidney looked like. >> you are silly. >> it is true. >> it is not true. >> did you go to med school? >> yes, i did go to med school. >> we have seen this happen before. george lopez and his got a kidney from his wife and they got divorced soon after. >> i did not know that story. >> that's why i am here. >> did she want it back? >> what woman wouldn't want it back. >> that's the natural give me back my kidney. >> it was too late. >> happy birthday. you are single and available and time is clicking away. this guy seems like a real winner. he has a healthy kidney. >> i would want my kidney

back. first you can't trust men with your organs. that has shown to be true in my life. when i was reading this, it says she came home from work one day and the tv and stereo were missing and the keys were the mailbox. he didn't even have the decency to break up with her properly. girl, if you want your kidney, get the kidney back. >> maybe it is the reaction making him do this. >> or maybe the kidney doesn't want to go back. it is saying i like it in this body. it is roomy yes, sir and he trippings and eats a lot. >> he makes more money. >> the kidney is like a foster child that got really lucky. >> she like the kid in "different strokes." >> arnold jackson? >> i don't know what em talking about, governor. that's often the problem. it doesn't stop me from moving my mouth. where do you sit in this -- should she get her kidney back or not? >> i'm afraid she is out of luck. maybe she can come up with an arrangement that if he dies first he can give the kidney

back. not gonna happen. >> it is true though. maybe there is visiting hours you can do with kids. >> maybe a little vodoo if she gets angry and takes her anger out on the kidney. >> this is a little off key, but in all of the shows i have done this is one of the dumbest topics i have ever seen. >> and your point is -- >> this is only the first segment. >> how can you not love this story? >> this is one of the smarter topics you have ever done. >> why go to new mexico when you are governor and you say you are doing a lousy job. >> a lot of people did. >> h is the dumbest -- this is the dumbest state i have ever been. >> stellar job during the debates. >> you said good for him. that's callus. >> his name is andy and have i to stick with him. >> i'm sorry, you are a donor and not a loaner, greg.

that's what my grandpa always said. and also this guy he ripped this whole thing off from the tv show "lost." >> really? >> john lock reunites with his long lost dad and his dad pretends to be friendly and turns out he is on dialysis and gets his son to give him the kidney and once he gets the kidney he wants nothing else to do with him. >> same thing is happening on "shame less." >> are you doing a lot with this story. >> it was a stlee-part -- a three-part "love boat." the doc gave his kidney to the bartender and he ate it. by the way, she says she wants to give it to someone else, but who will trust her? >> and you can't get a money -- equal to it because it is illegal to sell organs. so she is out. >> as a libertarian you must be for the selling of organs. >> absolutely. >> see not a dump to pick. >> that is not a dumb topic. >> what if he wakes up in a bathtub packed with ice and a little note?

>> it says ha-ha. >> only -- he only has one kidney. she not going to wake up. did you go to med school? >> you keep challenging my medical diagnosis. >> i have to move on. this is a good story according to the governor. they got gripes with free pipes. san francisco activists say they are going ahead with a plan to distribute free crack pipes to crack addicts despite opposition from city officials including the mayor. they have one there. advocates claim it will help slow the spread of hiv and bring users into contact with services that can help them turn their lives around. heard that before. and it is no different than giving clean needles to heroin users. it is something the city does. the department of health says absolutely no. we are not going to distribute free crack pipes. wow. >> want me to be the straight man here? >> i can finish the story.

meanwhile, the city just started a program distributing bough bananas to cats. >> metaphor for our times. all right, governor, you want to be the straight man here, you must be pro crack and anti-free pipes because you are a free marketer and they should pay for it. >> whenei was governor i was presented a bill to sign up on needle exchange. when i first saw it i just thought, oh man, this is crazy. the notion of -- well then i look into it and the claim was that hepatitis-c and hiv, it is going to make -- it is going to cost less overall. deal with the problem this way. you were going to show that you were human. you were going to show warmth to the heroin addict. i signed it. i bought off on it.

it, woulded. it did reduce hiv and hepatitis-c. >> is it because they died or did they stop spreading the disease? >> they stopped spreading the disease. so the crack pipe thing, a little bit of a stretch. but the way they explain it is you make contact with the drug user that way. you are not making judgment, but you make contact and you show your care. from all of what i have done on drugs, that's really important. the model is portugal. the model is portugal where they de criminalized all drugs. the notion was addicts, heroin addicts will look at government as helpful. it actually helps. >> they are de criminalizing all drugs in portugal. heroin addiction dropped in half. it is very contrary to what you think. >> what kind of crack are you

smoking when you can get hiv from it? >> are you biting crack? >> no, but what they are saying is by giving out the crack pipe, now you are having to make contact a with the government. you are making contact with people who care. >> crack add dijts have a high rate of -- crack addicts have a high rate of hiv. it is not having the healthiest lifestyle. >> i want to help you out. >> why not take a crack head to lufn day r are -- why not take a crack head to lunch day? they have to get their life together. >> i don't know how crack pipes make crack smokers quit. >> i am all for bringing down the if you get diseases from using the same equipment, but you have to convince me that crack pipes are giving you aids before i get you a new nike crack pipe out of my money.

>> jed jedediah, is this what you get in obama's america? free crack pipes for everyone? i don't want to pay for someone else's clean crack pipe. i don't want to pay for someone else's birth control. i don't want to pay for somebody else's bad choice for behavior. >> well, we are roommates. you are going to have to of the. >> i hold the same position. >> when you find out the dual cost savings is actually providing the clean needles -- >> but that is saying now that in order to save costs we have now shifted our ideology to it is all of a sudden government taxpayer dollars. >> you talked earlier about cost. i don't want to spend my money on this. you end up spending more money on that as opposed to providing the clean needles and spending less. >> you can make that argument for birth control too. you pay for smbles' -- a. >> of course. the morning after pill, i think that will make a huge

difference. >> it would have in my life. >> sherrod, you have a lovely child. last word to you, andy. i have a minute. >> jm all for this and let me tell you why. i don't live in san francisco. let them try it and see what it works. i don't care. >> that's my feeling on san francisco. let them do whatever they want. the whole city smells like feces right now. >> that is not fair to harvey milk. >> syringes are legal so they can hand out you is -- hand out syringes. crack pipes are illegal. >> are they? >> yes. i don't know if the city can hand out something the city itself makes illegal. >> they say they will do it even though it violates drug laws. >> swree to take a break. we talked for 20 minutes. that was a silly topic.

coming up, should they stop teaching algebra 2? here is the only equation you need to know.

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for x and forget about y. texas is dropping algebra 2 as a requirement for high school students. >> i know. supporters are saying ditching algebra means students are focusing on the high paying jobs that don't require a

college degree. critics claim the tougher curriculum improving the test scores. one expert said algebra 2 is a really, really powerful value on whether kids go to college. but it goes on and on after that. or it is likely to have a full time job and a job with benefits. we asked a pair of typical school children what they think. >> ♪ patty cake, patty cake smote. ♪ bake me a cake as fast as you can ♪ ♪ pat it and roll it ♪ mark it with a b ♪ put it in the oven for baby and me ♪ >> that was two of the ugliest dogs i have ever seen. jed do bayou, they are not -- jedediah, they are not requiring algebra 2 so that is a relief for girls. >> that's terrible. i was great in math. i took calculus and got an a.

i don't remember a word of it. >> did you wear a dress? >> i wore a catholic school uniform. >> that explains that grade. i would have given you two a pluses. >> gee thanks. i think they should drop it. you look disappointed. >> no, i am waiting for sherrod to stop laughing at his own joke. >> me and the crew like it. >> she is trying to answer questions. i feel like i am moderating an aa meeting. >> i am so happy it is jenni's birthday. >> it shouldn't be a mandate. they should drop it. i think about all of the courses i took. i had to take sequential math 3 is what it was called in the olden days. it did nothing for me. i wasn't inclined to follow engineering or math. you should have a basic science of the english and math a and everything. when you look at the advanced classes it should be for those who feel inclined to pursue those things. >> why put it on the rest of us?

people say oh i am bad at math. is it really no one is bad at math, but it is about applying yourself? >> yes. and school choice. kids making the decision, municipalities making the decision, states making the decision. the state gets further removed the fact they are eliminating algebra 2. they made a mistake. obviously that's why they are doing it. as an example, the federal government is going to make decisions about you and i in the classroom and the fact we have to take algebra 2? that's what they are doing right now and it is a waste. the federal department of education should be eliminated. they give each state 11 cents out of every dollar they spend but it comes with 16 cents of strings attatched. it costs money to take federal money. >> it is nuts. >> it is nuts. >> that's how it is. >> it is, sherrod. >> even if you are taking welfare checks. you have to dance to get

them. getting money from the federal government will come with stipulations. >> do you think people need algebra? >> i actually saw "algebra 2" and vin diesel was in it. >> he is not going to be in algebra 3 since the accident. >> asian kid? asian kid will take it? >> good joke. >> sometimes you might pull out your algebra at some time in your life. >> you pull out algebra 2 in everyday life? >> not in everyday life, but trying to show a smart ass kid you know more than him and maybe pull it out on the subway or something. nothing that will make me money. >> elementary algebra is good. it teaches you how to think logically. they are logic problems. i think ought pundits should take a refresher course. but advanced algebra is a different thing. i don't know if you need advanced algebra if you are not going in that direction.

the word algebra comes from an area raw bibbing -- from an arabic word. i feel the muslim brotherhood is behind this whole thing. >> i was thinking it was the tri-lateral commission. they are emitting drugs. >> all due to algebra. >> i'm done here. give me a break. all right, coming up, proposals to isolate some of the risk yes, sir trading activities by the banking sector have been unveiled by the european submission. we are not doing that story. instead, justin bieber, justin bieber, justin bieber. yes, justin bieber, justin bieber, justin bieber.

does lacking height make you fight? well according to a new study short man syndrome is real. the subjects are exposed to two virtual reality scenarios on the london subway. one where they were normal height and one where they were 10 inches shorter. how is that possible? researchers found feeling shorter made people feel paranoid and distrustful and more likely to make people feel they are talking about them.

being tall is associated with a greater career and relationship success. although we can't do nothing about our actual height, we can learn to feel taller. let's discuss this in the -- >> lightning rooooooouuunnnndddd. lightning round. happy birthday, je di. i outlasted the machine. i broke the machine. >> that was pretty good. >> those are some lungs. >> that was for your birthday. that's my gift. >> anyway, andy. in seven years have you ever seen me be paranoid and think people are talking about me? >> i would like to read something i wrote on on my own and that actually describes my opinion.

this study is ridiculous. short men are great. they are funny, self-confident, smart and very, very, very good looking. i am very fortunate to work with a short man and i consider myself blessed. i wrote this completely on my own and it accurately describes my opinion. >> you didn't have to do that, andy. i will remember that you did. >> it was something i really, really wanted to do. >> are you sending codes with your eyelids? what are you doing? >> there is something. i don't know what is going on. >> i know morse code. >> sherrod, according to this study. >> it is ride. his buddy is right. you are evil and you know it. >> how could i be that -- i mean could i be that without knowing it? >> no, you would know it pretty on. you knew you were down there looking at thighs and knees and you didn't like it.

>> i didn't know i was short. how dare ?u. >> that's why you are looking at thighs and knees. >> what else can i do? i just enjoyed it. >> build a machine that could make you taller. you laugh now, but there was an asian kid with a flex capacitor. >> thank god you don't have that about race or anything. >> i got nothing like that. let me tell you something, shorty. >> jedediah, women experience these feelings more than men which is why they wear high heels. >> i was just going to say that. i feel like a completelient from person. i am a completely different person. >> i am 5 foot 5 and i look smaller than that. i may be 5 foot 5. 5 foot 5 is on my license, but i don't care. i like being small. when i put heels on i feel them powered woman. you know what i'm talking about. still let toes --

>> i will put those on and i am no longer greg gutfeld. i am gregarina from the wnba. nobody dunks me. of course i go out and i knife tall men which is wrong. i hospital have admitted that on tv. governor, you are an extremely tall person. probably why you became governor. i'm sure in the debate you towered over your competitors. >> i googled your height when i got this question. obviously it is a greg question. i think it is total [bleep] and that is from talking to you. clearly you have it all down. if you have had humility added to your life as a result of being short, then maybe you can come up -- it is a good balance. >> i think it is too. short people have a sense of humor. >> that's right. greg is so balanced. >> i googled his height and it

is 5 foot 5. >> it is. >> that's short. >> i didn't know. nobody tells you you are short. >> you don't realize until you get out of your house and into the world. >> start talking to people. do you feel it is weird they chose 10 inches though? isn't that an awfully big difference? if you went from 6 feet to 5 feet, that is a huge difference. tall and super short. 5 feet for a guy? >> you see young kids get on a train and they are towering over you. you have a briefcase, but you are a little fella. >> can you get out of my way, sir? >> that guy probably makes more money than all of those guys. >> but it ain't enough money. next topic. incredible research from the brain yaks at mind blowing university confirms people do engage in rebound sex after a

break up. in a survey of college students 30% engage in rebound sex to get over their ex. 25% did it it as some point of revenge and i did it because i like basketball players. jedediah, does this count? they probably did this study on any given weekend and they are like, whatever. >> true and i bet most were men. this doesn't work for most women. if i really like someone and i break up with them, i can't just have rebound sex and forget about that guy. i still have that guy in my head for awhile. >> you can give it the old college try. >> the guy doesn't care if you are thinking about the other guy. >> we'll have what he's having. >> sherrod you have masks that are made to look like ex's. >> that's a great idea. >> you miss jerome? hold on a second. jerome. the whole rebound sex.

everybody says it is the fastest way to get over someone is to get between two few wear toe recan girls. two puerto rican girls. everybody says it. >> it is a science. >> that study has been done, i believe. you have rebound sex even if are you in a happy relationship. >> i am doing it for the team. >> governor, is this an issue that should be addressed in the ?eks -- in the next election cycle? >> absolutely. rebound sex and being rejected, the best revenge is success. as long as you have rebound sex with somebody better looking than the person you left you can achieve that level of success. >> that's a good point. you have to aim higher and not lower. anybody can have rebound sex if you aim lower. >> so i can see that is a big issue in the next campaign.

>> we will edit everything out. you mentor many college students post break up. do they try to force themselves on you to get back at their boy ends friends? how do you stop the advances? >> they do and what? i don't understand the second part of the question. >> i didn't even listen to what i was saying. i was reading. >> then you missed my joke. >> i am still thinking of two puerto rican girls. >> i will argue with you. you said the story we did earlier was dumber. this is dumb. >> you have to take a long, hard look at your career if this is what you are wasting time on. you don't need a study to do it. at the university of missouri, a public school, congratulations to the taxpayers of missouri who paid for this wonderful segment. >> how does the staff come

about reaching these issues? >> we have a big hat. we drop numbers in the hat a. >> what i do is i take a special pill and then the magic bunny tells me what to do. the magic bunny told me to do this story. the magic bunny tells me to do a lot of things. >> that bunny's name is rupert. >> have i a table full of men though. does rebound sex work for guys ? >> have i been married for nine -- i have been married for nine years. >> it helps. i have to do it repeatedly to get it out of my memory. >> no, it doesn't work. >> i think it -- i think success is the key. as long as the rebound sex shows -- >> is better than. all right. >> getting between two puerto rican girls. >> it doesn't work, but who

cares? >> even if it doesn't work, it doesn't matter. it is fun. time for a break. >> oh no, that didn't work. i had sex for nothing.

should we give the booty to a canadian cutie? it is day 921 of -- all right. a petition to deport justin bieber has more than 100,000 signatures which means the white house must respond to it. the plea states we would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive and drug abusing justin bieber deported and his green card revoked. he is not only the threatening of his people, but he is a terrible influence on our

nation's youth. on wednesday to face a charge in connection to an alleged assault involving a limo driver in late december. limo driver in late december. i think i own that album. have the people behind the petition made a strong enough case? is it pervasive? >> this is not "red eye" night. when do they stop calling you governor? you haven't been governor for five years. >> don't these people have anything better to do? >> he will face the consequences for his actions. he is going to have that happen. don't deport justin. >> i hate petitions. >> nothing says i am an uncool parent like signing this petition. >> also, doesn't it make him more of a bad boy than he already is if he is deported?

>> i mean, i think anybody who signed this deported before him. >> really? >> yes. you are stoping your whole day to sign this? >> what if there were attractive puerto rican women on that? >> we should hear them out. they have not a lot to say, but to do. >> hopeless romantic. >> i used to work for hallmark. >> what is that? >> the greeting cards? >> oh hallmark. i thought you said something else. >> you thought i said a curse and you were going to edit it. >> i willed -- will edit it to make it sound like you said something racist. >> all he heard was honky, honky, honky. >> instead of bieber, shouldn't we deport president obama back to kenya where he was born? >> come on. >> justin bieber is an annoying kid though. he is not fun. he is not exciting.

i don't even feel like -- i think people just sign these petitions because once it hits 100,000 the white house has to respond. they are just doing it for shock value now. what can they get the white house to talk about next. >> getting mad at justin bieber is like getting mad at dora the explorer or something else that doesn't exist. let him be. >> until he hurts somebody else in one of these mad, crazy antics those young people are into. >> the egging. >> andy, you started a counter petition for justin to do a nude pictorial. how is that going? >> it was not an -- a petition. it was an open letter i wrote on my tumbler. i haven't heard back yet, but i am hoping. if this toronto charge amounts to anything we won't have to deport him. just look him up -- just lock him up there. >> rob ford is going to look at him and be like, there can only be one.

>> highland him. >> i just think bieber should die. his hair -- and live a few years incognito to see what it is like to be something else. >> incognegro. >> that's a great idea for a show. >> right after "red eye." i am going to host incognegro. >> by the way, that's kind of what he is trying to do. >> it is a reality show where people have to spend a day or a week as a black man. >> you can come on my show and yell lightning round. >> e-mail, red eye at fox news.com. do you have a video of your animal doing something? click on submit a video and we may use it. another story that the govenor will really love. bestiality.

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appearances including tom shillue. >> e block. last story. that's the last story.

>> for you, governor. the cow said not now. a british man allegedly tried to have sex with a sheep after he was rejected by a cow. a 61-year-old i.t. worker, surprise, is on trial for bestiality after he was spotted last september in an unholy embrace. prosecutors said that when the cow would not service him he decided to try his luck with some sheep. hearing that in court the jury burst into laughter with the judge giving him a warning. he said he chased the animal because he wanted to take a nap with no clothes on. >> what a? no, he did not say that. >> this may not be true because it is british media i would think it is true. >> it took four minutes to put together this idea. i don't want to lose it. bestiality, no surprise. haven't you been listening to republicans on where same-sex marriage ends up? and i think we should show respect for people's choices. who cares? and woody allen, everything

you wanted to know about sex with gene wilder, that was a beautiful love story. let's show some sensitivity. come on. stop laughing. >> back in college we all had sex with cows. we called it making a bowl of cereal. >> i have no idea what he means. >> i am just making a bowl of cereal. mooo. >> i have no idea. jedediah, how can you laugh at such whatever? >> i don't know what is happening. >> happy birthday, jedi. >> thank you. why is it always men doing this stuff? >> you want some cookie crisp? >> women are never arrested. >> you hear stories about a woman humping a sheep. >> nobody calls the cops. we watch, but we don't call the cops. >> i will send you some links. >> you have opened a can of worms. >> but don't have sex with the can.

>> you have never been to tijuanna. >> women may not have relations with sheep, but they will sleep with josh grobin and adam levine which are close to -- >> like which ones? >> we have a minute left, andy. fill it up with facts. >> i think it is uncool that the jury laughed at this guy because he was turned on by a cow. i think that is cud shaming. i think as a society we need to move past that, we can move past that. it is an utter disgrace. do i have to kill more time? >> i am just wondering if you think this story was real. it is actually in a british tabloid. >> i think it is real. men have been having sex with sheep for a mill 11 yaw. maybe they should have sex with the sheep. stop trying to take it to the cows. >> it is shear nonsense. that's the name of the strip

club for sheep. shear elegance. come to shear elegance. the cover charge is -- i don't know. >> working her way through dental college.

we mean to give you food for thought. >> hello, everyone. i'm andrea tantaros along with bob beckel, eric bolling, dana perino, and greg gutfield. it's 5:00 in new york city, and this is "the five." >> well, if anyone needed a reminder as to why america is the greatest country on earth, we got a very powerful one last night during the state of the union. his name is sergeant first class corey remsberg. >> on his tenth deployment, corey was nearly killed by a massive roadside bomb in afghanistan. his comrades found him in a canal face down, under water, shrapnel in his brain.