vote in our gretawire poll. up next the reporting live factor. good night from washington. tomorrow night, 7 p.m. eastern, right here. tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye," did the gi joe with the kung fu grip inspire a generation of homicidal maniacs? the investigation you won't see anywhere else. plus, what did the president think of greg gutfeld's new book "not cool." >> it was painful and slow and ultimately that is good for our economy. >> and finally what did the president think of his decision to give greg's book a second try? >> it was the best decision i ever made because i love this guy. he has heart and he cares about people. he is willing to fight for what he believes in. >> none of these stories on

"red eye" tonight. >> that gives me a lot of ideas. let's welcome our guest. if looks could kill we would have that viewers. i am here with the homely joanne. and he is a sad, lonely freak who has no one and nothing. things would change if he bothered to write his own intros, but that is too much work so i have to do. it tv's andy levey. and if hilarity was lint he would come in a dryer and your bellow button. it is sherrod small. and he is so sharp that saysers are told not to run with him. editor bill mcgern. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. i was wondering if i could interview you. >> that's sweet. children take it hard if they

don't get a card. a new jersey kindergarten steep every thinks they need protection from rejection. on february 14th, the most important day of the year, a liter says if your child choose tokes change valentine's cards in school he or she should have one for each classmate. this will avoid hurt feelings. the teacher urges parents to avoid any names on the envelopes to, quote, make it easier for the children to pass out the cards thelzs. themselves. only in obama's america. one child couldn't wait to open his valentine gift. >> what happened to your valentine day treats? you ate that corn already? that's your last piece. no, don't eat the roses. >> don't eat the roses. i didn't know robin williams had a kid. an ugly kid i might add.

was that too hard? >> no. >t good because it is getting worse. i need to go to you. what does this say about our society at large a? at large that this is happening in 2014? >> i think it says one thing that we are a bunch of losers discussing the kindergarten cards people send out a valentine's day. somebody called this pathetic, but it is pathetic and i was a pathetic that didn't get a card. if i had got a card in second grade from you or kindergarten things may have worked out much more differently. >> did you mean we here at the table are a bunch of losers? >> i can argue the opposite that by you not getting cards it taught you rejection early in life and you were able to rise to the station of running a newspaper. you have to deal with the

harsh reality. >> there is alot of rejection in my business, that's true. >> you developed a thick skin. >> that's not true. newspaper editors have a thin skin. as a class we are known for thin skin. we can dish it out, but we can't take it. it goes back to kindergarten and valentine's day. >> full circle. >> now let's get down to it. >> it makes them stronger, don't you agree with me? >> i don't care. if you don't get a valentine's day card, you don't get one. that's it. sometimes you give it and it is like, i don't like you. that's life. that's a part of life. not only should this teacher be fired, but they should fire all of the teachers in the school so she don't feel like she is the only one. >> nicely done. >> joanne, when you were young you were a plain jane and no one noticed you. it took you to be the above average woman.

>> i don't even have to say anything. >> you are learning. >> exactly. >> that's one of the life lessons. there will always be someone more beautiful than you and who is better liked than you. you need to lesson early on. >> learn to kick her down a flight of stairs, am i right? >> i that's right. breaking bones. that was my nickname. >> i can imagine with your last name you had a lot of nicknames. >> and none of them were very nice. >> why are we pushing the valentine's day cards on 5-year-olds anyway? why do they have to think about love and who should i be with? >> the teacher is bitter. >> she is scorned. somebody dumped her. what it comes down to is the teacher needs -- >> isn't that your answer for everything? >> especially on valentine's day. >> andy, you will be alone on valentine's day, obviously chrks is your choice.

should we can sell valentine's day and black history month to boot since you hate love and black people? >> wow, what about black love? >> black love is great. i think every month is black history month and making it one month is a way to keep the white devils down. if you are going to do something like this, don't let the kids give cards. that's better than forcing them -- they are both stupid, but it is better than forcing them to give them to everyone. it is kindergarten. they are not valentine's cards. what if parents can't afford 16 cards? >> that's true. >> the teacher is operating from a place of privilege and i don't like. it third, the teacher writes boys and girls may want to exchange cards. hetero-normative much? this teacher is living in the 90s. >> he or she has to go. >> this is a a simpson's episode that aired a week ago. bart didn't want to buy it for the bully. he said i refuse to give to

everybody in the class, especially the bully because he bullies me. why would i give him a card? it is funny. >> i love when people explain something they watch. that a is great. >> really, "the five"? shut your mouth. >> touche. he got slammed by sam. on monday ktla reporter sam rueben was interviewing samuel l jackson about his new "row -- robocop" movie and causes us to ask, is this racist? check it out, check it outers. >> this is good. >> did you get a lot of reaction to the super bowl commercial? >> what super bowl commercial? >> oh, you know what, my mistake. >> you are as crazy as the people on twitter. i am not lauren fishburn. >> that was my fault. >> we don't all look alike.

we may be all black and family muss, but we all look alike. >> i am guilty -- >> he thought you were bob dylan. >> you are the entertainment reporter? you are the entertainment reporter for this station and you don't know the difference between me and lawrence fishburn. >> and he didn't let up from there. >> he is the car black guy and morgan freeman is the other credit card black guy. you only hear his voice. >> you are 100% right. >> anyway. later in the show, they addressed the situation. >> i pride myself in the fact that unlike a lot of people that do this know -- do know what i am talking about, but in this situation i didn't. i apologize for samuel l jackson and anyone else offended for a very amateur mistake.

>> we are fortunate enough to have samuel l jackson here to accept his apology? >> i am not samuel l jackson. i am james earl jones. i am the totes-magoates guy. >> was it racist or stupid? >> it was stupid. that's your job. rut entertain -- you are the entertainment reporter and you don't know the difference? >> bottom line is this says more about entertainment reporters than race. they are not that bright. >> i think it says a lot about race. i live in a racially-charged house. i am an ethnic gendered minority in my own roof. i had to learn chinese. when i ask them to shovel the show they call themselves uncompensated asian labor.

>> how many asian kids do you have? >> three jie. three asian kids. that's two more than me. anyway. i don't know what that is supposed to mean. >> you have a sitcom. three asian kids and you are the dad? come on let's write this. let's stop doing this show and get some paper. >> people at home would love to watch us work it out. how do the credits roll? shoveling ice? >> somebody is on the piano. >> i would love to addition for a role of your daughter. do you think i would be cast? >> i have not confused my daughters with lucy liu. >> good for you. >> was this racist or stupid? same question i asked sherrod. >> it is stupid. if i was to be a sports reporter , just because i'm the hot girl i will -- no, i don't know anything about sports. i would assume he does know a bit about entertainment reporting. >> given the way he looks you are saying. >> i do think he should be

punished. he should watch "snakes on a plane" like a hundred times. >> i haven't seen that movie. >> denzel is great in it. >> andy, you think everything is racist? >> yes. >> i'm sure you think this is racist. >> oddly no. again, it is an honest, stupid mistake. sam rueben has been dhog for over dosh dosh doing -- doing this for 20 years. >> who is sam rueben, that dude? >> he obviously knows the difference between samuel jackson and lawrence fishburn. >> a black guy should be able to get that guy and not be qualified as much as that dude. why can't a black man have that job and be unqualified on tv. oh is that me? >> fair point. my theory is he never saw the super bowl ad and he heard about the super bowl ad. >> and then he is ignorant. that's dumb. >> when we make mistakes on

this show it is a producer's fault and i'm guessing that's what happened here. >> we often edit out mistakes like that. >> you made your share of embarrassing mistakes. >> absolutely. can we show that one? >> that part when rueben said unlike a lot of people in this job i do know what i am talking about. >> so you are throwing everybody else under the bus. >> he basically said you all suck. >> embarrassing, but we all make mistakes except for me. were they remiss to call her miss? a person in oregon is suing the catering company bone april petite because co-workers refused to address jones with gender neutral pro nouns. she took offense to little lady. normal pronouns do not apply because jones is, quote, not a female or a male.

>> what is so funny? >> anyway, we don't have ache p tours of the co-workers say she looks like a woman. jones asked supervisors to offer information to every other employee about very jus gender identity issues. jones is seeking a half million bucks for pain and humiliation. let's go live to the chief legal correspondent. ♪ >> he has to wipe so bad, but he can't find the beginning of the toilet paper. where does the new toilet paper start? it is driving me crazy. >> you just rip it. >> you take the whole roll.

>> that is an image. >> good for you. >> only person who can pull that off and not make you vomit. >> i am intrigued. >> tell me more about this special talent you have. joanne, was jones too sensitive or not sensitive enough? >> if you are asking your co-workers to do something like that -- they never have had to do that before one would assume. you need to be sensitive to their being sensitive. >> that's true. >> it is new to them, so you need to sympathize with them in that matter. >> i think that is a good point. it is like all you have to do is play along and people are happy to accommodate. unless they like to make fun of you when they find it is a sensitive spot. >> i mean, come on, how much are you going to do at work? you already have to work at work and now you have to do this? tell them to move the box

outside. >> having to sensor yourself would be hard for you. >> that's why you don't have a job that -- in an office. >> live in the box where you call it a reality. i am a robot. i don't curse at all. my wife made cup cakes tonight. >> the robots were the people that make everything you are wearing and they get you back and forth on the subway. they make -- >> i am more interested in the person who created the sweatshirt and then passed it down to the people who created it. he is the creator like me, the artist. >> not like the robots who made money to see you perform? >> don't talk about the robots now. i have the robot army on twitter. >> the comedy clubs are filled with robots. >> i can't call you he, she -- >> i will tell you what i would like to be called, but let's get bill in on this. >> is this a viable lawsuit?

>> it is very, very serious. we learned it was the prefix preferred by people who were not married, but they did not want to be called miss. >> the germans got it right. >> they don't blame someone for trying to draw the line. i am pro immigration. as you know we will get a lot of latino immigration. the thing that troubles me is thisy have -- they have more pro nouns. doesn't that worry anyone else? >> is pro noun another word for kids? >> you are awful, sherrod. awful. here is my theory. i think words don't hurt. i don't think you should be able to sue over words. i can understand violence, but i don't think you can sue

because your feelings #r hurt. >> i think you are a smelly jerk. >> i don't like that, but i am not going to sue you. >> i am going to hear about this forever. greg, this is discrimination toward nonbinary gendered person and needs to stop. jones said jones did not want to be referred to by feminine pronounces. >> so you do -- it points out we do need a gender pronounce. we use they for singular which drives me up the wall. you -- >> you know what is fun? i would like to be called an it. being an it is like a higher evolve of he. >> you are sometimes called a word with it in it.

>> starts with sh. >> i would think you are a we person. >> it was my favorite magazine growing up. i -- it disappeared in a fire i started. i was a fire bug. i don't know. i want to be called it. we have to move on. story. tore that story to shreds. coming up, a six-part investigation beginning tomorrow on string. what is it, where does it come from and what does it want from us? useful products or a tool of satan. and are teenagers more stressed than adults? the ones in my basement are. just kidding. they are already dead.

is there pressure greater or lesser? according to a new survey teens in the u.s. are more stressed than many adults. 27% reported extreeng -- extreme an. >> tee -- an. >> -- anxiety. the biggest cause of stress was school, work, family, and talk show hosts who follow them around the neighborhood in a white paneled van. it is specific and accurate. meanwhile, completely unrelated, a government report found three out of four u.s. children and young adults take in some coffee. we asked a pair of teens what they think.

>> i guess that is useful to someone who is into that sort of thing. bill, have you three kids. are they teens yet? >> two are teens. one is a tween. >> are they really stressed or worse at coping at it? >> in their natural state and habitat, teens are the least stressed people. you find them lounging on sofas and watching tv. you find them sleeping amid rooms that are completely destroyed and so forth. they are eating food with no thought of cleaning up the kitchen. in their natural state teens worry about nothing. it is the parents who say you have to clean your room or get an a on your report card that enduces the stress. in their natural state the teens accept the world as it is and the parents will feed them and take care of them and school them and clothe them. >> i don't like them, teens. >> they can be unpleasant. >> sounds like a dead set up. >> should teens be more stressed? >> i mean, yes.

if they are, who cares? you are a teen. you are young, just make sure you wear a condom. >> wow, that's useful information. >> for a teenager, yes, they should bewaring con -- be wearing condoms. >> no, not having sex. >> it is that kind of advice that basically shortchanges real advice. the thing is everybody goes oh wear a condom and leaves 99% of the other useful information about the world. i just said the most important thing, wear a condom jie. what are you mike brady from "the brady bunch"? stove with your life lessons. he always stopped and they play the music and it is like, listen, greg, you need to -- dash blah, blah, blah, marcia. they know what i'm talking about. kids are more stressed because they have more social media and they are worried about dumb stuff. it ain't real stress. it is not like bills and not having to kill somebody.

>> you are stressed by killing small animals that wandered into your backyard. does stress trigger the loss? >> i am heavily medicated. >> it is all about perspective. when you are young you haven't seen the world and you don't have major responsibilities these things stress you out and give you anxiety. then you say why the heck was i stressing over that? >> i don't know how we solve it or help it. >> my older sisters used to sit on my chest and hold my hands like this and blow into my nose. they put their mouth here and blow. everything on your body inflates. >> and now you have to pay for that. >> it is a different kind of stress.

>> i am kind of stressed out now. >> you know what, you just created secondhand stress. >> silent killer. >> andy, have i a theory. >> you always do. >> the study that shows an increase of drinking of coffee. when i was 15 we didn't drink coffee. there was no starbucks. i didn't have my first cup until i was 19 or 20. there was never a coffee period. these kids are like 14 and 15 and working at coffee shops and drinking coffee. they are premature inure rot particulars because of -- gnaw rot particulars because of coffee. >> the rate of caffeine drinking among young adults and children hasn't budget -- budged in a decade. >> that's only 2000, 2002. >> it hasn't gone up. this is a nonstory.

a lot of teenagers reported stress in the school year. they are stressed because of school. that's it. >> i prefer not to hear that part of the story. >> i am begging you to start reading. >> my time is more important spent thinking about theories than reading your studies. bill, we are from the same generation, born in the 70s. >> why is that so funny? >> go to commercial. >> we used to say that when something was bad we would say that's life. now when something is bad they say that's stress. we replaced what we used to think as part of life as something that is separate from life. we come part mental liesed it as stress and that is what makes it more stressful. >> i would like to see a little more stress on my kids. >> you know the coffee, i bet

back in the days "little house on the prairie" laura was getting up there with a pot of black coffee before she checks on check -- checks on the chickens. >> how dare you call her laura wilder. she is a married woman now. >> we have "a little house on the prairie" person who works on fox news? >> i don't know her name. i william out the wrong name. >> melissa francis. >> i was going say bill o'reilly. >> coming up, from the sochi olympics. can a new website let you chat with the dead? i don't even want to chat with the living.

he spent an oddle on his poodle. the japanese pitcher signed a $155 million deal with something called the new york yankees. apparently he decided to put his money to good use. tanaka spent $195,000 to charter an entire 186-seat boeing 787 to fly him. four other people and his poodle from japan to new york

on sunday. the hurler's wife said the pup did just fine saying he gave it his all on this long trip. poor kid. i think he is rather tired, but i'm relieved he is eating and toileting okay. i had no idea you could turn that into a verb. clearly we must discuss in the -- >> lightning rooooooouuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnd. lightning round. >> that is so creepy. >> bill, you put this on the front page of the post and that's where i heard about it. >> bingo. >> is this an outrage or to be expected? >> if you read the story it took him eight and a half hours to get to the airport. >> really? >> yeah. the airport is two hours by train and he hired a car. it took him almost as long to get to the airport as it did to get back to new york. >> >> the dog has no idea he is being pampered. >> the dog knows.

let's call him who he is. japanese kanye. and i love him. i love him and his pop star girlfriend. everything is big in japan. he is coming over with angst and yelling with the arm. wait until you see him pitch i don't care what he does off field. >> when he wins he will bring it. >> i am not a yankee fan. >> be one. >> i can't. >> on the way home i will send some puerto ricans after you. >> he thinks i take the subway. >> i am a giants fan. i am from the bay area. >> it is a new york team. >> no it's not. >> it used to be the new york giants. you don't know the history. you can't school your boy. >> we send the losers to their leagues. they are sending the best guys to ours and we send the washed up guys. remember joe pepitone. when he got over h there he

claimed -- he complained because he had to p oi nt out his own bags. the coach pointed out his batting average. >> i want to talk about the poodle. >> i think probably this dog has better clothes than me, more jewelry. if you are spending all of that money on an airplane you are decked on ut. you don't want them to say it is not bringed out enough. >> it is not a juicey sweat pant on the plant. >> do they have those for dogs? >> they do. >> so you say the poodle is japan's northwest. >> that's a good comparison. >> just like the baby we will have to kidnap the dog. >> whoa, whoa, whoa. >> i don't understand what is

going on at there point. if you were as wealthy as this player would you travel with your cats? put your cats in a jet? >> the worst part of the story is five people on the plane to fly here. the plane went back to tokyo empty. no passengers. this guy has the biggest carbon footprint in the history of the world. >> we could have filmed that plane up with homeless people to send back to japan. all of those new yorkers, send them over there. >> japan would be grateful. >> was that on his own or publicity for the airline? >> some people do think jal quietly paid for it. >> maybe it is a long flight and you can't dough the -- can't do the small jets. >> is jal japan's jetblue? i am trying to learn about this country.

you can chat on the web even if you are dead. a new service has designed a way to reconstruct a person's personality after they die so the deceased can, quote, communicate with family and friends. the company says it collects almost everything you create during your lifetime and processes the information using complex art official intelligence. and then it generates a virtual you. i hope it reflects the skinny years. will this site be beneficial or harmful? >> these guys are not of onerring the catholic church has not offered. we are always talking to the dead. who wants to be an avatar? if you were going to come back, would you want to harass an innocent person or prevent your wife from remarying? >> i am doing that now. >> i am alive and i am trying to stop her from remarying.

>> i don't see the advantages. >> i don't understand people getting upset about haunted house movies. i am always the ghost. it is more like a fun mad cap little fun thing to do is to scare people. i would like to be a ghost. i am looking forward to it. >> joanne, you are dead inside which is sad because you are so pretty. >> are you sure that question was not aimed for me? >> no, i have one for you that is worse. >> that's not the question i wrote for myself. >> joanne you are dead inside. it is sad because you are so pretty. are you looking forward to skypeing people who are as dead as you. >> i have to learn to skype. i still don't know how to do that. >> it is easy. >> this would give me nightmares. it would freak you out. i like the idea of being immortal and that's why i am an organ donor. >> so your kidneys can live on. you can't choose the

people. i don't want my organs going to sherrod. >> i think i am not really dead. i am sleeping. leave my organs alone. >> don't you think it will be dead white people. >> if god gets my e-mails that's the way it will be. i think this is a waste of money, but sometimes people need a little extra to hold on to. even if you go to people's like -- go to the cemetery and you see hole grams on there with -- holograms on there. if it can be a little bigger, why not? >> have you no friends so no one -- you have no friends so no one will miss you. >> i will set it so it activates on certain people's computers computers and freaks them out. it will tell them how i feel about them and blame them for my death. even better before i die i will leave a digital trail that will make it look as though i suspected it you were

trying to kill me and then sign up for the service and have it go to policemen friends of mine and then we will see what is what mr. what is what. >> what if i say i am going to kill you? no one would expect i would say i am going to kill you on tv. >> by saying nobody would believe you if you did it people would know you did it so nobody would believe you and therefore they will believe you. >> i could listen to this for hours. >> i think you have been. >> i won't do it. time to take a break. as you just heard, i have a new book coming out "not cool." i may be coming to a city near you in this bus. it is a bigger bus, but this is a model of the bus of the i will be in 31 cities in 11 days. here are some of them. look at it. memorize it. i would love to meet some of you, all of you. for the entire tour schedule go to my website.

>> barnes and nobel?

i hope so. a new study from the national science foundation claims that more and more americans think astrology is science, and it is. that brings us to this. >> "red eye" debate, 2 014, live from the" red eye" debate center. >> welcome to the "red eye" debate center. i'm your host coming to you live from the "red eye" debate center for tonight's" red eye" debate. those who think astrology is not scientific declined from 62% in 2012 to 55% in 2012. that's seven points. what is astrology. here is a helpful "red eye" video. >> astrology is the branch of science concerned with how the universe works. it is one of the oldest academic disciplines along with math, chemistry and by

yule gee. new ideas explain the fundamental mechanisms of sciences and open avenues of research in other areas. sigh zach newton is called the philosopher. astrology comes from the greek word meaning not a fake science. >> that was good. joe on, i go to you first -- joanne, i go to you first because are you a woman and they buy into astrology more than men. why is that? >> we only do when we agree with our hour row scope. and then when we don't gee with it, that is not real. i was trying to figure out if it is a science or isn't. i went to truth magazine.com because you know it is true. >> it is in the title. and this guy was talking about the gravitational pull of the planets. he said the gravitational pull

of the obstetrician is 10 times that of mars. that's science and it is right. >> so it is science? >> no, no, no. the argument against it is science. >> otherwise it is something fun for me to read at the end of the cos mow. >> bill, she made a point that people read it and like it. >> isn't that the trick of astrology? they use generic terms that can be assigned to any person? >> are you such aly bra. 5* libra. >> i was a george bush speech writer, but i give president obama his due. he said he would restore science to the proper place. by this poll we can see he has managed to pull this off. when you look at the economics behind obamacare, is it any less believable? >> exactly.

>> that don't sound leak leo talk. that don't sound likely yow talk to me. >> sherrod, do you use astrology to get women to go out with you? >> no, i use roofues! >> i am not drinking my water. >> that's terrible. why would you say that? >> can you hear the laughter? it is mumbo-jumbo. sometimes you read it and you say that's fake. and then somebody said that is me sometimes. >> they did this study where they read the hour scope to people. they said is is that you? well that was a virgo. >> sometimes it is watered down from what it originally was. the asians or the chinese studied astrology for thousands of years. but we ain't getting that book. we apt getting that book that the british broke through.

>> we have the cliff notes. if we go back and find the origin, maybe it may have substance to it. i am dropping knowledge. >> andy, you read susan miller every day before the show to pump you up. do you think science has anything to do with it? >> it is a tool the government uses to fool people and keep them busy so they won't ask questions about chem trails and harp a and what it is they are putting in their water supply. and they are on our road signs that will let the u.n and key ma confiscate our stuff during a national emergency. wake up, greg. this is what astrology is for. i am sick of people saying astrology is a science. >> i think you may have hit on something. but you left out mercury fillings. >> he has a jeff. rising. he has gemini rising.

>> it is fun to do and maybe it is the fun science. maybe it is the fun science. >> we're done. america is done. take it, china. we are done. this is unbelievable. >> chinese people believe in astrology too. everybody believes in it around the globe. welcome to being human. we are dummies. >> do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us. go to fox fox news.com/red eye if you have video of your pet doing something.

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[ man ] i don't know if this is gonna be a first or second, but this is gonna be a medal! [ man #2 ] and it looks like we could have another one of those photos! [ female announcer ] every minute. every medal. every screen. the nbc sports live extra app gives you unprecedented access to every moment of nbc universal's coverage of the sochi olympics, now on your tv. the x1 entertainment operating system, only from xfinity. >> last story. that's the last story. >> yeah, it is over. did you just take a squat while tweeting your thought? thanks to advancements in technology media habits have evolved while our bad habits haven't. americans are consuming 60 hours of media per week. using different devices in various places with 40% of

adults 18 to 24 using social media in the bathroom. the other 60% just hold it. i have written all of my books in bathrooms. it is there i give a [bleep]. kind of obvious when you think about it. is this disgusting or progressive? >> i am a man living with four women in my house. this is the only place i have private. >> it is true. >> it is the whole reason for the mobile revolution. >> exactly. sherrod, how many phones have you dropped in the toilet? >> usually other peoples because i don't like who they are texting. if you have a woman in the house with you you have to find somewhere. nothing is yours. this is my drawer. don't go into the drawer. well she goes into the drawer. >> it is because you told us not to go in the drawer. >> you use those drawers and

my drawer. >> they pick locks. >> what a rookie move. >> what are you talking about? >> is bathroom lighting the best? >> i think it does speak to the younger generation ages 18 to 24 i am 25 though. >> i also like sexting which is popular. it is that culture that brings media to the bathroom. >> which is sad. i don't take selfies. i take elfies. >> let us do those jokes. >> i figured you wouldn't come up with elfie.

andy, last word to you. your guilty pleasure is watching "downton abbey" and soaking in a bubble bath. do you prefer tablet or lap to the for this behavior? >> i used to use a lab top and now a water proof case for my ipad. >> do you really? >> no, ut but they do exist. i saw one that looked like a pouch in the curtain. >> really? >> absolutely. you 40% of people say they use smartphones in the bathroom and 60% are lying. everybody uses a smartphone in the bathroom. >> the phones are filthy. black light your phone and you will never put it to your face again. it looks like bob costas' pillow. >> there are all sorts of things living in there like your computer keyboard. it is bad. >> how is it any different than going home and letting your dog slobber all over you? you don't know where he has been. >> i let my dog lick the keyboard. lick it all off. >> they are both like pulling

spring water. i think we are done. joanne, sherrod, andy levy, bill , that does it for me. i'm greg gutfeld. see you next time.

hello, everyone. i'm andrea tan torose, along with bob beckel, greg gutfield, eric bolling, and dana perino. it's 5:00 in new york city, and this is "the five." >> well, yesterday, the obama administration delayed the president's signature health care law for the 27th time since november 2012. the latest companies who have more than 50 employees but less than 100 will now have until january to comply with the law's mandates. now, earlier today, president obama offered his justification for the latest punt. >> this was a example of administratively us making sure that we're smoothing out this