stay on all that breaking news with the weather. the weather is getting really bad stretching all the way up the eastern seaboard. up next, the o'reilly factor. good night from washington. tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye" have scientists invented a corn dog that will help predict the march madness tournament? the story the ncaa does president want you to hear. and is obamacare a giant step toward socialism? >> not a giant step, but a large step. >> what does justin bieber like to do when not making hit records? we hung out with the pop store at his l.a -- the pop star at his l.a. mansion. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight jie. she's is hot that old men pour water on her in the sauna. i am here with author, columnist, jedediah bila.

and she will only go out with you for the free drinks and then she will go back to trim her tail. it is joanne. and he -- it is tv's andy levy. and if hilarity was a sticky would be sticky. a first-time guest, "saturday night live" writer michael chay. he goes by chay. >> a block. the lede that's the first story. >> is that true greg? >> very old joke. >> is miley's dad just as bad? did he out jerk the twerk? it is day 97 of -- they did a remakey of achy breaky. billy ray cyrus had an update to his song with the help of a

rapper. it is a sci-fi epic featuring a corpse who sets the stage. >> ladies and gentlemen, i'm larry king and i apologize for bringing you this startling story this evening. but there is late-breaking news i thought i should make you aware of. it has been verified that there has been an unidentified flying object seen trans sending over europe and last tracked by the united states air force. >> flash forward and billy ray and buck 22 are abducted and that's when things get sexy. ♪ let me tell you ♪ i meet up with billy cyrus ♪ ♪ i broke the silence ♪ it happened because i would rather be lucky ♪ ♪ than good ♪ don't break my heart ♪ my achy, breaky heart ♪ i just don't think you'd

understand ♪ ♪ up on tmz ♪ got everyone wondering who i am ♪ ♪ miley keeps tw re king and daddy's song is working ♪ ♪ don't break my heart ♪ my achy breaky heart ♪ and if you tell my heart. ♪ ♪ my achy breaky heart >> i don't even know what to say. i will go to you, chey. the thing that creeps me out is he is referencing these women and at the same time referencing his daughter. >> his daughter isn't even in the video. if you can't get your daughter in the individual. >>, maybe you shouldn't -- notice video, maybe you shouldn't be in talking about her in the video.

it is sad. it is really sad. that video is new from like 10 years ago. who produced it? >> it is really impressive. jedediah, why not? >> i like it. i like it. i am already singing to it and downloading it when i get home. i feel like he should have put larry king in it. larry king is full of awesome. he should have interspersed him throughout the video. i don't like the outfits though i have to say. i am not a big fan of the outfits. he stepped outside of the box. >> that's like the oldest rapper in the world to be on it that is not famous. >> there are hot girls twerou want? >> we want mute. >> i think he is dionne warwick's son. couldn't her psychic friends

tell him not to do this? >> she is 89 so he has to be 54. >> he is a grand parent. >> they are trying to bridge the gap between country and r&b. >> and there is no bridge there. >> it is uniting the country. >> i want to ask that you are a daughter of somebody and perhaps a father. do you see this as a way of sharing a hobby? this is the way to -- >> no, he is calling out to her. this is his way of holding an intervention, his achy breaky heart is breaking. his daughter is twerking and doing all of these ludicrous things. with ludicrous it couldn't have been much better. he is showing her the road she is headed down. >> because he has been such a good father throughout his life and clearly that's what he is doing. >> he has been a good dad. >> has he? >> she is doing all right for herself.

i wish i had a milely. a miley. she does president wear -- she doesn't wear a lot of clothes, but isn't that what it is about? >> happy and nude and your tongue outside your mouth. >> that's how you can tell if a dog is happy. >> that's true. that's true. and she wags her tail. >> she wags her tail and sticks her tongue out. it is a happy lady. >> my point and maybe it is ridiculous, but justin bieber was arrested with his father drag racing. does billy ray think maybe this is the way you bond? >> you are giving him way too much credit. billy ray thinks this is the way you make money which gets to the ppoimt of how stupid he is. larry king says i apologize for bringing you the startling information. he should have stopped after i apologize. an unidentified flying object tran send -- tran sending over europe.

anybody that knows anything means that does president mean anything. doesn't mean anything. is it traveling 35,000 miles over europe or over eastern kentucky. i am confused at this point. the whole video made no sense. >> and billy ray wielding a guitar, but you don't hear guitar. >> you can hear some guitar. >> that's something else. >> he thinks i can look awesome holding it. i am billy ray. do i have to do much else? >> he just looks awesome. >> how did larry king's show get all -- shoulders get up past his ears? i think his suspenders are too tight. >> if you took the suspenders off he would expand to the size of a giant bough -- balloon and fly away. >> it is holding his body parts together. >> you said justin bieber was drag racing with his dad, i literally pictured justin

bieber and his dad in heels running down the raceway. i don't know what drag racing is. >> they are in cars and you race for the pink slip which also sounds vaguely sexual. but no, it is when two cars are racing. >> pink slip? >> the pink slip is the ownership of the car. so if you win you get the pink slip of the car. that's what drag racing is. >> except it was a rental car. >> well then you can't give up the car because you don't own it. >> maybe he was drag racing avis. you never know. maybe that's why he was racing. >> that is genius. if you banish will crime vanish? a lawmaker is proposing a unique solution to dealing with some criminals, banish them. boulder councilman says he was reading something called shakespear when it struck him. the city full of repeat offenders for things like peaking in the bushes or brawling.

and it would be less costly and more effective to get rid of them instead of jailing them. it would send the message that we do not find the behavior acceptable. go to a different place where you will have to reform your behavior to get the things you need it life. rejoin us when you have learned to behave. it works. on wednesday one was lead out of town. >> i think i know that lady. >> this idea seems incredibly simple. why hasn't it been done. it is like kicking hecklers out of a club. >> yeah, but that guy was probably really high when he wrote that law. that doesn't sound like something you can even do. >> what do you say you have to

leave the city? >> that's my point. nobody has tried it. >> it is like the old west. you have until sun down to get out of town. >> and everybody did. it goes to what you said. perhaps we should be making the laws when we are high because nobody makes those questions up. >> if i got kicked out of colorado for peeing in a bush i would stand on the border and pee because i have great trajectory. is that pes? is that possible? >> we can't prove it here, but maybe next week we will fly out and see what happens. jedediah, what do you think? >> you can't do this. it would cost money to enforce. and then you would need security to see if people re-enter the city. it would cost money to make sure they don't come back in before they are supposed to. >> you get them to a place, another city, and then he or she wanders around and peas there. and then that city -- inevitably --

>> so there is no where to go? >> the surrounding cities can't be happy about this. all of the plants are dying. it is like, no, keep it in your own city. >> it is like you are passing the bush peer to another city. it is a share of commitment. >> that's terrible. why not just build more toilets? that's a specific problem that mayor had in his neighborhood. he said you know what? i am tired of these kids peaking in my bush -- peeing in my bushes. >> they figure i can't pee anywhere in bushes so i learned my lesson. is that what you are saying? >> i didn't have a set opinion. i just thought the idea of banishment i never heard. >> when you are younger and got in trouble your parents send you to your room. they said need to stay there and come out when you learn your lesson. you never do and you say yeah,

of course i did and you you do it again and go back to your room. how will it be enforced? >> you can't enforce it. >> you enforce it when you are a bartender. >> but that is a restaurant that can only hold so many people. >> but it is a microcosm. i can't believe none of you see it as the beautiful idea i see it as. who would you banish if you could? >> everyone so i can get peace and quiet. it would be like "vanilla sky." i would walk around and it would be cool. it is a great way of free traveling. say you are in colorado and you want to go to california. you just make sure you get banished west each time. you get banished until you are in california, and then you enjoy california for a couple years until the banishments wear off and then go back to colorado for free and get banished east. it is a great way to travel if you don't have a lot of

money. >> around the clock banish buses. >> you don't trust it? >> no, they have to go, they have to go. you can't leave the city because you have a bad bladder. that's mean. what about old people? >> the old people don't pee outside. they are in a nice, comfortable setting watching their shows. >> they are expensive. >> they are expensive, but they provide a service for young people looking to experiment. they are not pleased about being teased. it is day negative 36 of -- >> all right. some american lugers are annoyed at a canadian ad that takes shots at the russian anti-gay laws. here it is, here it isers.

♪ don't you want me baby? ♪ ♪ don't you want me, oh ♪ don't you want me baby? ♪ >> all right. so one luger said they are making fun of our sport for their cause, and it doesn't make a lot of sense to me. if i were to hug my dad and somebody took a picture and showed it in slow motion they could use it in a video like that and that is ridiculous. why does it have to be like that? good question. another olympian says the double lugers are used to being the butt of jokes. and says what we are doing is a different issue.

we are competing here. sure you are. another ad was less subtle. ♪ don't you want me baby? ♪ ♪ don't you want me, oh ♪ don't you want me baby >> do you know that? >> i don't know her. i wish i do. i want to know why that guy hugs the dad front to back in a back and forth motion. that seems like a weird way to hug your father. >> you are so closed minded. maybe he has a certain physical defect where he has to lie on top of his dad who is bed ridden. >> that's strange, man. >> you have to open your mind. don't they have a point that if you are pro gay rights, joking about any contact between men as a little gay means it creates more of a barrier to acceptance. >> i i don't understand. >> neither do i. i was trying to figure out

where i was going. if you say that is a little gay, then that means gays would be less likely to participate in sports. >> life is a little gay. >> all of it. it is all a little gay. you wake up butt naked usually. who knows who is naked? you don't get to choose sometimes. >> that's an interesting way of looking at things. so even being naked means you are gay? >> in the winter, yeah. i don't like the winter olympics anyway. i think it is a way for white people not to celebrate black history month. why not do it in march? >> that is so true. i never thought of it that way. that's another reason to hate the olympics. >> i hate the winter olympics. >> i'm with you. >> come on, getting upset about this is way gayer than anything. who cares? >> i don't know, i think they are mad because they are tired of the jokes. >> maybe.

i don't get it either. i don't get why you would be sensitive about this and one of the competitors basically said we are in spandex and we are two guys and resting on each other. the jokes write themselves. >> funny. >> it is funny. what is the big deal? >> but is it just too easy, joanne? >> it is a cheap shot. it is the obvious. it is the same thing as making fun of a male dancer. if you look at this video besides the ending part where it says let's fight for gay rights it was up loaded by someone who was not a gay rights activist. it would look exactly the same. >> that is a good point. >> especially with that music. >> but coping from an activist. so everyone looks at it with that lens. because it is coming from people who are fighting for gay rights, they are looking at it like, we don't mean any harm. if it came from somebody who opposed it, we would have to be outraged. >> that's a good point. should these guys develop a thicker skin? >> it will slow them down on

the course. >> i get where they are coming from. they have to be tired of the cat jokes i mean luge jokes. i'm sure it gets old for them and they wish it would stop. >> so that was a jab at me and you didn't even come up with a meaningful -- >> i think what i did was drew an analogy and i think it was a good one. >> i get it. you don't like the cat jokes anymore. >> no, not at all. >> i do understand -- like the one guy says, it is hackie. they get this crap all the time. you reach a point where it is like, stop. that's where they are at. they are not mad at the message of the video. they are just like we get it. you think we look gay because we are touching each other. >> i feel that is strange. who is talking about luge ever? white people. >> how often are they like, wow, another luge gay joke? no i never heard one before because i never heard anyone

talk about luge other than luge players. i don't even know. >> like a little instrument. >> it is a luger. >> lugers, let us get in on the joke. give us a year. >> there is no way to know this, but a lot of what we talk about is luge. >> the first step is getting to make fun of it. >> are pencils used for writing or tools for our nation's wrung. our 12-part series begins tomorrow. is striping an art form? i did nothing in preparation for this segment because it is about striping so why bother?

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gripping the pole? strip clubs must now pay taxes because of the entertainment by the top heavy entertainment of the strippers. it is sexual fantasy and not dance. strippers testified about the skill required for their routines in a bid by their employers to get around the sales tax. a loophole waived the taxes for the live dramatic choreographed or musical performance. but the judge wasn't interested in the artist reof ass shaking. this case involves charges for admission into a place of amusement. a typical chick. is striping really not art? history tells us otherwise as this "red eye" video shows. >> the art of striping began

2,000 years ago. striping comes from the greek word meaning a form of art and sexual fantasy. the world's first erotic dancer was venus. she was created between 130 and 100bc. the first male stripper came centuries later and known as david. he too was celebrated for his artist reand flexibility. no one knows who did this sculpture. in the early 20th century erotic dancing was considered high art and attending performances was for only the wealthy. every stripper dreamed of removing her clothes at carnegie hall. the most prestigious stage in the world. and then striping would change forever with the pole. we will have part two with striping endeavors. >> i learned a lot. as a tv show do we have to blur david's genitals?

>> it shouldn't be too hard. >> that's true. back then things were different. michael, men go to strip clubs because they love the dancing. why isn't that art? >> it is art we enjoy. >> striping is art when it is done wrong. if you are looking at a stripper and you say, boy, that is expressive. that means you are not tipping that lady. only the worst strip clubs -- >> jedediah, who is the judge to say what is art and what isn't? is this an attack on strippers? >> i think that if the judge had been a man you would be bree -- you would have got a completely different ruling. anyone who has been to a strip club knows some is art and some isn't. it depends on the dancer. anyone who has taken a pole dancing class, and i know you have, greg, that is hard work. the ab muscles, it is better than going out for a run. i give these girls props. >> it is very difficult, unnecessary work.

>> i don't think the poles has added anything. >> i am just waiting for striping to become an olympic sport. >> they tried. >> what season is that a? >> summer jie. they tried to get pole dancing in. >> joanne you can answer another question if you like. is it art? wait, you must know some strippers in your line of work. >> i actually live by the place there on the west side. >> what is the act address? >> i really don't think the audience, like you said, cares about choreography. if they do, then they would be going a broadway review. they wouldn't be going to the strip club. >> you can't masterbate there. i found out. >> really? >> no, trust me i know. >> you have to stay in your seat. you can't get up on the stage. >> i think it is frowned upon. >> again it is one of those

things you have to work through. >> they banish you. >> they do banish you. >> and you have to go to the next theater. >> if are you standing at the border -- >> i shouldn't have done it during "death of a salesman." there was nothing erotic about it and there was no dancing. andy, can it be art if there is a two drink minimum and a cover? >> sure, why not? >> that's what i would do. >> i don't think it would make a difference. >> i learned a couple things. the hustler club sells what they call script, beaver bucks. you buy beaver bucks that you -- that's what they call them. you use them to get lab -- lap dances. they put a 20% surcharge. you pay $120 and you get $100 of beaver bucks, but then they don't want to pay taxes. so already it is like, no, you are doing that -- >> that's terrible. that is terrible. >> but more importantly i learned monday through friday

the hustler cover charge is $20. and on saturday it is $25. on sundays, no cover charge. >> that's nice. >> it is the lord as day. that is when the status strippers are striping. it is on a sunday. >> i went to a strip club on thanksgiving night. >> this last thanksgiving? >> yeah, man. the girls working on that night. the worst part is working and not making any money. >> he is supporting the economy. >> that's like philanthropy. you were giving them some emotional support. >> i am writing it off. >> beautiful. yeah, there is a lot of turkey puns. >> i can't. >> why bother then? coming up, what is the difference? we will all die some day. should have read that tease earlier. is kristen stewart writing poetry?

we will have a distinguished guest read her work.

her name was lame. i speak of an ohio woman, is there any other kind, who hate i had her name so much she literally changed it to sexy. she is sexy. sheila crabtree calls her given name the ugliest one out there and told a judge she wanted something fun and free

spirited and the change would make her complete. the 41-year-old said if the court didn't allow her request she would kill andy levy. sadly the judge complied. i was just seeing if you were listening. everybody calls her sexy, jedediah. wait a minute. jedediah. that's a funny name. >> should i become sexy beila. >> is this going to change her life at 41? >> it could. look, if she feels like her name defines her and somebody calling her sexy -- you are going to be called sexy all the time. women like to be called sexy. now everybody time somebody talks to her it will be sexy. >> they will never know. they will say, sexy. >> if people aren't calling you sexy after 40 years, give it up. >> it is so true. i am never going to be tall.

i am 49. i am not going to change my name to tall. >> it is something she can change. height you can't change. >> well thank you. >> as far as i'm aware of. >> there are things you can do. there are stretching exercises. >> pumps. >> i tried. 24r* is a certain -- there is a rack you can rent. it takes time and effort. >> stilts. >> let's get off the height thing. joanne you joked her name was terrible. what is your last name? >> it is longer than yours, yes. >> it is not my last name. it is what i have to do so i don't have to pay taxes. >> now she is a sexy crabtree which is a caw nun drum. >> it is like a porn name on sponge bob. >> sexy crabtree. >> she is a great name.

prince really loved the name sheila. he sang a song about her. >> her poor children. that would be terrible if my mother's name was sexy. >> this is my mom. she's sexy. >> grand ma sexy. great grandma sexy. that's sad. let it go, lady. >> that's true at 41. but this is something a 41-year-old woman may do. this is like the name version of a tattoo. i guarantee she was either going to change her name to sexy or get a dolphin on her lower back. it is the same thing. >> or maybe a dolphin on hr ankle like you, andy. did she think this through? >> you don't get along. >> it goes back aways. >> yeah she thought it through. she says her kids are on board with this. >> because you are famous

now. >> i have to think if she has daughters they are going to break up with their boyfriend because they will say wow, your mom is sexy and it will lead to bad stuff. i don't understand why is a judge involved in this? if she wants to change her name, change her name. >> for legal reasons -- >> just fill out a form. who is he to judge is what i'm saying? >> judges are so judgmental. >> why do they have to approve the name change. screw you. i want to change my name. i'm just sorry she thought of it first. >> would you like to be sexy? >> sexy levey. >> it would be tv's sexy levey. >> next topic -- >> that poor woman. >> that poor family. and that dog. the dog is stuck with it. he spent all his life learning her name and now she is sexy and the dog is confused.

i have a different person who looks like my old owner. >> they should change the dog's name to sheila. >> that's fun changing your dog's name. >> do you think dogs know we are not dogs? >> i think they think we are big things that move. >> i have seen dogs argue with the vacuum cleaner. there is no way they think that is a dog. >> that's true. we should do that topic. bars have gotten too loud and cafes too quiet and that's bad for democracy. he notes throughout history political action is started out in bars and cafes where people can engage in conversation. but not be overheard by the wrong people. now that is impossible because loud music in bars are turning cafes into silent places of work. intelligent conversation is impossible making revolution impossible. this is the dumbest story i have ever heard. here is the way i see it. he is justifying his

laziness. he is saying like i want to change the world, but it is too loud. so i am going home. >> if you can't find a seat at the cafe, that changes your whole plan. >> exactly. >> i need to sit down and plan a revolution. >> and i go to a bar to forget my problems and drink to oblivion. i am not going to go there and say hey, let's start a group and revolt. >> i can't hear you. journey is on. >> don't stop believing. >> what do you think, chey? your name is chey. >> first of all i want to know what kind of revolution was this guy planning exactly. why is no one asking him what kind of revolution. it may be an insane revolution and thank god he president cay hear himself. he is an insane man.

we will all agree. >> i think he is crazy. >> well imagine what his plans would be that he needs total silence. who is at the bar for revolution? this poor guy. we need to worry. >> this could end badly for everybody. gid do dye yaw -- jedediah, this is a stupid story. do you sympathize with him? >> i don't know if you have been to the castle in new york where they shush you if you get above -- honestly i caused more trouble in that bar that night than i did in a longtime. maybe there there is something to the quiet and you can't be distracted by the dancing. >> you know what it is? the bad thing about bars are drunk women. >> or we do bad stuff.

>> let me tell you who will start the revolution. >> it is not as noisy as a bar. smokers are the only ones who can talk to each other. it will be a revolution of smokers. >> they are not going to live very long. >> they are also clearly willing to die for their cause. >> that's what you want. >> you may have heard i have a new book coming out. there it is. it is called "not cool" and i may be coming to a city near you in this awesome -- this will be bigger. i will be in 31 cities in 11 days. here is a look at some of them. i would love to meet some of you. i am not lying. g gutfeld.com. go there for the entire schedule and find out where i am going to be. stop by. i will find something.

he retaliated with feces from the feline species. after no success on the job hunt, a missouri man did what any disuh ponted applicant -- disappointed applicant would do, he mailed cat poop to the companies that rejected him. he traced the trail of 20 poop packages and he was later sentenced to two years probation for this misdemeanor. his cat was charged as an accessory and executed. finally some sensible crackdowns. michael, the question here, why not his own poop? >> who found out it wasn't his own poop? was there a cat poop scientist? >> i am almost certain there -- >> he is the man with the cat. >> csi.

>> and ate tasty feast. >> i think it is fancy feast. >> i don't feed animals. >> you apparently feed yourself. anyways, it is size. he wasn't going to mail the giant poop so he mailed the little poop. >> why not? >> i don't know. >> if you are going to go with poop, go with poop. >> he had low self-esteem if he didn't even believe in his own poop. >> i would send all of my poop. i don't have time. if it was a bad batch i would eat some food and wait awhile. >> a bad batch. it is not like cooking brown knees. have you ever exacted any revenge over a job? >> nothing that involved poop. no, i have never really had a good job. most time when i was fired i said you about right. i feel i may overstate my welcome here. >> thank you for everything. i can't believe i made it this

far. >> i wish i knew about the whole poop thing. >> i think it is troubling. i think it shocks you. you would think it is your fault. i would think it is my fault if somebody sent me poop. i shouldn't be saying this on tv. i would think it is a mistake by the post office. >> somebody is sending poop to me and i don't know who it is. >> they slighted you many, many times. what would you send them? >> i would send them glasses because they obviously can't see my talent. >> that may have been the saddest thing i ever heard. you would be glad because they sent you poop. >> i believe success is the best revenge. >> that's nice. >> really that's why i tell

ex-boyfriends to watch the show. i tell miss usa to catch me on fox. >> i think sending poop is the best. >> i used to think success was the best revenge, but i would much rather send somebody poop. if i could see their face while they did it. >> the camera. >> it is like an ep on face time laptop. >> it is a lot easier to send poop than to be successful. >> this is up lifting, jedediah. have you ever retaliated in a matter like this with ex-boyfriends? >> not with poop. you have a package in the mail, greg. i am a little confused as to why he didn't use his own poop. he probably went to the litter box, and that is easy. >> and it is killing two birds. he doesn't have to throw that away and change the kitty litter. he is solving two problems. it is the revepg and the

stench in the -- revenge and the stench in the kitchen. that's got to be the issue. you have two cats. is cat poo that dangerous? and isn't the real problem the kitty litter box? where do you keep yours? >> hidden. i change it all the time so they don't know. i make a game out of it. there is a parasitic disease that you can get from ingesting cat fees cease. if your hands touch it and whatever. in addition to being physically harmful it can affect your brain. that's why crazy cat ladies are crazy cat ladies. as funny as this is, it is potentially dangerous. greg, if you ever fire me and you get cat poop in the mail it is not from me. i am now on the record. >> if you wanted to send cat poop would you send it in a thermos or a tupperware? what would you put it in so it is safe and still get the message across? >> you know in "sign peeled" they have the --" seinfield"

with the container with the dry ice. i would use that. >> i would go back to the 1960s with somebody got a parcel. it would be wrapped in a brown paper bag with string. >> and put a little picture of your face that says open me. >> i would put googly eyes. it is like, it is adorable. it can't be -- oh, it is exactly what i thought. >> we did five and a half minutes on this story. coming up, kristen stewart's poetry. you have to see this.

coming up tomorrow on the next "red eye" dana perino and tom shillue. >> e block. last story. that's the last story. >> maybe andy levy, you may be on tomorrow unless your flight is canceled. >> no, not tomorrow. possibly friday. >> she is a brilliant poet and we didn't even realize she was. i changed it. during an insightful interview on life and love kristen stewart revealed her passion for poetry by sharing a sample

of her work. we were moved, inspired and left hungry for more. and now the four-time forensic finisher lou daabs. >> i reared digital moon light. he red its clock and scrawled neon across the black. youubiquitously crest fallen and down the straight to foothills i will suck the bones pretty and i bellowed and you parked. we reached martha, one honest day up on this freedom fall. devil is not done digging. he is speaking in tongues all along the panhandle and this pining erosion is getting dust in my eyes. i am drunk on your morsels. and so i look down the line. your every twitch and drum salute, salutes mine. >> that was insane. >> he has never been sexier, ever. i just want him to look in my eyes and say i get drunk on

your morsels one more time. >> i don't even -- let's go around the table. grade the poem and then how did lou -- i thought lou did a imbued job. >> i give the poem an f, but lou an a plus. he was never sexier. >> aren't poems supposed to rhyme? >> when you have lou nothing else matters. >> michael, does it matter she is a terrible poet? she is kristen stewart. >> i don't know who kristen stewart is. >> she is a cheater. >> i'm sure she is a nice person. she does something on movies i haven't seen. >> we are old. >> did you see "panic room"? >> she was the daughter -- >> she played jodie foster's son in "panic room." >> it was a daughter. was it a son? >> it looked like a son to me. >> she is a beautiful young woman now. >> now. >> what about the kid that got lost in the nose of the airplane?

that's another story. is this a reflection that she is unhappy and incoherent? >> why can't she admit to eating ben and jerry's and loving pedicures and laughing. >> i don't like it like that. i like them miserable. she is a pretty girl and she is a movie star and her misery makes people like us feel normal. we can say at least we are not famous and i can go back to roofing. >> andy, last word. how long before public schools analyze the wisdom in stewart's masterpiece? >> if they get the lou daabs version tomorrow. there is no problem with bad poetry, but there is something wrong with reading the bad poetry. if you are going to write poetry, write it in one of those things with a cheap lock. write it in that and put it under your mattress and forget about it. >> i would do that, but mine is filled with cat pooh. --

cat poo. poetry, it should rhyme. jedediah, andy levy, joanne, michael chey, that does it for me. i'm greg gutfeld and i will see you next time. no cat poo. stops

here, we're definitely looking out for you. i'm megyn kelly live in new york city, tonight. and it is very, very encouraging news. >> the white house puts its best spin on a new obamacare enrollment report. but the fact checkers suggest these numbers add up to new worry for the law and the country, we'll speak with a reporter who spent the afternoon at the white house. plus? >> it is also difficult for some of us who happen to agree with the president's policies which i do since i voted for him previously. i believe the president has crossed the constitutional line. >> one of the top liberals in the country, has