governed, and next oblige it to control itself." let us know what you think. facebook.com/thekellyfile and follow us on twitter. thank for watching. i'm megan kelly. this is "the kelly files." tonight on "red eye." coming up on "red eye," will belgium ever achieve flight? the exclusive look at the nation's decade-long struggle to catch up with the rest of the modern world. plus is the white house claiming to clone a t-rex and set it loose in times square on new year's eve? >> what confidence it's going to happen, we remain optimistic 2014 is the year that it will happen because it's the right thing to do. finally are skateboarding dogs threatening to crash the stock market? the story cnbc refuses to cover. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> let's welcome our guests. breaking hearts for olympic sports. dripping in gold medals. and also her victims' blood.

mime here with joann. good to see you matched your layers today. oh, that's not jesse, that's andy! i was reading the wrong joke. >> what the -- >> andy has informed me to ask you that from now on, if you tweet him about his cats or cat-related information he will be blocking you. it's tv's andy levy. he got a job at spencer's gifts to get a discount on pasta and edible condoms, sad. writer/comedian jesse joyce wearing his target special. his moustache landed a jumbo jet on the highway after the pilot had a heart attack. former u.s. ambassador to the u.n. and also the president of "red eye" but you knew that. >> if you stood there you'd see

12 of the most unusual things in the world. >> nice. i think i'm falling in love. just like that movie "her." is labor out of favor? a democratic congressman, is there any other kind, says the loss of work hours due to obamacare could be a boon because americans work too much. keith ellison spun the report like a drunk figure skater which showed 2 million workers cut back over the next decade. >> what the congressional budget office is saying that we're going to discourage kids having to have latchkeys. we're going to have parents come home, working reasonable hours. people are going to be able to retire. people might actually cook dinner rather than have to order out. the fact is that if americans could have more choices to open up a new business they've been wanting to start, this is a good thing. >> smearing takeout. got something against the delivery men? racist. meanwhile, a like-minded lib

writing at politico laments our obsession with work. benjamin kline honeycutt, a professor of leisure studies -- let that wash over you -- notes, "we've forgotten the purpose of life is to be happy and to pass that happiness on to future generations, not simply to keep acquiring more stuff." "obamacare will encourage us to spend more time working on humanity, our families, our hobbies." i find time for my hobbies. take a look. >> no, that man's found happiness, because he's been doing this forever and he enjoy is so much. it's incredible. he probably has an interesting job that enables him the time off to dress up like an animal.

>> you're assuming that's not his job. >> it could be his job. what a great job it is. ambassador, should we listen to the professor of leisure? or does he -- doesn't he have some kind of -- >> sickness? is that the word you're looking for? >> no, he's selling leisure, it's part of his job, should we trust him? >> no, of course not. nor the politicians. it is a perfect excuse for a politician who's caught having an affair with a staffer or engaged in corrupt activities to resign, to get out of dodge, right before he's prosecuted. say, i want to spend more time with my family. of course these people who are ducking work to get the subsidy for obamacare, suddenly that's now the new excuse. but this is ridiculous. >> yeah. you know who else said they wanted to spend more time with their family? squeaky fromm. >> that's a great 15-year-old joke. >> thank you, jesse. a little manson family humor. you work three jobs at the queen

center mall. do you have any free time? do you find this man insulting to somebody like you? >> it's lazy now. you could have called me the substitute teacher of laziness, to juxtapose against the professor of leisure, it would have been more clever. but whatever. you know how many [ bleep ] twitter things i get now? every time i plug a show now. does he have time to do show? how's he going to get the time off from the pretzels? or whatever dumb -- twitter people don't understand. you have to have a punch line or don't bother. look, you nailed three in a row, lazy. the point is -- the point i'm trying to make, the moment we've all been waiting for, is he's claiming we're the only industrialized nation in the world that works as much as we do. and i think he's right. we should be more like the spanish with the little nap in this the afternoon. >> yes to that. >> what was the last thing the

spanish gave the world other than the flu and adultery? >> those are kind of nice, the flu, you spend time at home. this is your first real job, are you happier or more miserable? >> oh, wow. i have my good days and my bad days. >> hasn't been that long. >> what are your thoughted on this? >> i think that some people, special millennials, are working to be working more in order to pay for these increases in their health care. >> yes. >> i don't understand why people would work less. just in this economy alone, there's so much that we have to spend money on. >> that's true. >> in terms of chasing after your dreams and doing other hobbies and things, there isn't time for that. >> generally those dreams suck. >> they do. >> who wants to be a performance artist? sorry. i forgot.

andy. do you wish you had more time to spend with your family, and jessie, you know where i'm going with this. >> sure do. from now on just hold up "b." that means bad joke. >> the point with you on twitter is exactly why i have this new policy now where i'm blocking anyone that mentions cats to me. i can't take it anymore. >> they know what bothers you. >> then i won't have to see them anymore. >> you're talking like they're not here. >> oh, they're here. i'm all for people working less. i just don't think other people should have to pay for those people to work less. >> very good. >> that's the key here. >> what one of the things ohm care gets right is this notion of portability. when it comes to health care it's a crappy system when your health care is tied to your job. conservatives -- >> that began with social security. >> right. conservatives don't disagree. paul ryan and others have said, look, it sucks if you're stuck in a dead-end job you don't like because you need the health care, that's a crappy system.

it would be nice to leave that job and go to another job or whatever. >> let's pin the responsibility where it belongs, on labor unions, which got a tax-free treatment for employer-provided health care in 1940. >> absolutely. >> that locks people in. the labor unions wanted it and they got it. >> the other thing is, hearing this talk from the left that it's cool, that people will be working less, maybe working fewer hours, not working full-time. the unions have been silent on this so far. and i'm anxious for them to chime in. seems that's the kind of thing they oppose. they want people working full-time. >> they want their members working full-time, they don't want anybody else working at all. because that raises their wages. >> this has to be weird for jesse as a comedian. none of these options will play into your life. >> i haven't had a job in 17 years. yeah, no, but i did think that was an interesting point. i'm a history nerd. about how we seem to be reverting back to the 19th century with longer hours, crappier wages and everything. and i think it's a weird --

because where they set it up, labor unions in the '30s, '40s -- i just made that up. >> you're a history buff, it's okay. >> yeah, i just guessed. that they set it up so that people would have more leisure time so they could then spend money, put it back into the economy and stuff. it's ironic, we work dangerous [ bleep ] jobs for long hours so that we can get more leisure time. then what we've done with our leisure time is watch reality shows of people who [ bleep ] dangerous jobs, you know? i find that ironic. >> and long. >> the wrong way to go. wrong way to . >> there is maybe a good argument to be made for people voluntarily leaving the labor force. a time of high unemployment, if people want to leave their jobs it will make it for easier who want to find jobs. >> that's true provided the people that are leaving don't end up living off the rest of the people. >> that gets to my first point. >> that gets to my conclusion. my tip.

>> absolutely. >> i think we all -- >> squeaky fromm, soil and green. >> some combination of soil and green and logan's run is the only thing that's going to fix us. >> you should be a writer for "the jack parr show." >> that's unnecessary. i would have liked to. a very, very talented young man. enjoy that, mr. parr. all right, was his reveal a big deal? sunday former university of missouri football player michael sam told the world that he was straight. >> i came to tell the world that i'm an openly proud gay man. it's a load off my chest. i told my teammates this past august that i came out to my teammates, and they took it great. they rallied around me. they supported me. i couldn't ask for better teammates. >> i had that one wrong. sam, who was the southeast conference's defensive player of the year, is expected to be selected in the middle rounds of the nfl draft. meaning he could be the first openly gay player in the history of the league.

at least not since -- go ahead, andy. >> conrad dolba this. >> you're going to die. we're kidding, conrad. sam's revelation sparked anger across america with president obama leading the charge tweeting, "congratulations on leading the way. that's real sportsmanship." there goes that story. this is the only sport i care about. >> joann, you liked that? >> i mean, you know. i have butterflies. >> all right. let me go to you. you led the charge to keep lesbians out of the pageantry. you must be furious about this. >> yeah, no lesbians. transgender contestants, the more the merrier. you have to cut it off somewhere. >> there's a joke there. >> yeah. >> oh my gosh! i didn't even realize i did that. that was good.

>> i think it was. what do you make of this? i honestly -- i don't have -- i don't care. >> i'm fascinated. our culture's fascination with people's sexual orientation. being a football player has nothing to do with who you like. the only people who are uncomfortable by it, shouldn't be. because it just doesn't make sense. i don't understand how the two correlate. >> i think there's a curiosity. that's not necessarily born of discomfort. everybody gets excited when they dpipd out somebody's gay. they never get excited when they find out you're straight. it's like somebody said, did you hear rock hudson was straight? i don't care. he's gay? he's gay! there's a novelty aspect to it that the media likes -- >>fy found out that tom cruise was straight i would be excited. >> you just got "red eye" kicked off the air. that's what happened. >> the office should let everybody know you were kidding about conrad dobler, the dirtiest player in the world.

>> no kidding. i don't know if he was straight or gay. >> was this the hot topic at "hot topic" today? >> that one was actually okay. >> thank you. what are you looking at over there? >> i was -- i did it for effect. >> are there cue cards over there? >> no. just wondering how much time he has. >> comedians don't come out of the closet and then say it's a load off your chooes. please. to be honest, i don't understand why this is a big deal. why people are getting crazy about it. there's still 33 states in america that don't let gay people get married. it is an interesting story. but it's not crazy controversial. he came out last year. >> yeah. >> you know? it does bother me comparing him to jackie will be bin son. as a history nerd i looked through, there was not a single press conference where jackie robinson announced he was black. i don't get it. >> interesting point. where do you stand on this? excited or indifferent? >> completely indifferent. what i don't understand about this is for years, people tried to argue that sexual preference

or whatever was a private matter. it was their business. it was nobody else's business. which as a physician i believe in, myself. and yet what we've got is the exact opposite of privacy. what do you want to know about my sex life? >> everything. >> nothing. >> oh, no. >> my wife's watching. but why are we talking about this? do whatever you want to do. don't bother me with it. >> yeah. or bother me with fit you have pick does. andy, i'm assuming you think this is a bigger deal than i do. >> i think it's great a bunch of great people have decided this is no big deal. >> we can't have an opinion? >> you can absolutely have an opinion. bottom line is i wish most gay people wish this wasn't a story but it's ludicrous to pretend that wasn't the case. >> don't bring ludacris into this. >> ludacris told me we need to stop pretending -- >> i'm referring to the media response. which i find precious. for example, there's an assumption when he comes out

that everybody's not going to like it. but that never -- everybody's like clapping. he gets a tweet from president obama. >> i don't think that's the assumption. the assumption is that this is a ground-breaking thing that's going to happen in the nfl. >> true. >> it was a "sports illustrated" piece that ran where they interviewed eight nfl executives and all of them said, oh, his draft stock is going to drop now. >> true. >> one of them said, i don't think football is ready yet for an openly gay player. >> uh-huh. >> you can't say this isn't a big deal, you can't say it's not brave what he did. >> are there openly gay baseball players? >> no. >> openly gay basketball players? >> there was one. >> but not during their career. after. >> yeah, yeah. >> it's very rare. >> yeah. >> maybe that's why. it's the slowest area for to it come because it's rare. i agree with you, when the executives come out and say it's going to be a problem, then it's a problem. >> true. >> i'm more focused on the media excitement over things like this. i find like tiresome after a while -- >> i feel like you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

if he does get picked for the draft, then -- i mean, great, wow. >> yeah. >> everyone's looking aside or putting aside his sexuality, focusing on his talent. then if he doesn't, oh! was that a bad move on his part? is it because he's gay? >> again, the point, he didn't just come out. like he came out a long time ago. >> why's it news now? >> he came out to his chief. >> he didn't want to be outed by other people. >> they kept it to themselves. >> yeah, he didn't want some dumb reporter to be the one to dig it up and splash it. >> i have to say -- >> can you watch your language? >> it makes football different from the government. if you told 35 people in the government anything, it would be in "the washington post" the next day. >> good point. >> i think we can agree that we came to no conclusion. >> yeah. >> hold a press conference. >> all right. coming up, should we negotiate with iran?

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we've got grudges about judges. that's the subject of tonight. >> 2014. live from the "red eye" debate center. >> welcome to the "red eye debate center" coming to you live for tonight's red ida bate. tonight's topic, do judged events belong in the olympics? at hotair.com, jazz shaw, if that's his real name, says no.

shaw writes "the winner of the competition should be determined by the competitors with a clear outcome demonstrated by somebody winning. just give us a real sporting competition where we don't have to wait for judges to add up their observations on the merits of the play. that's not a sport, it's performance art." i believe i've said this before. he added all athletes who fail to qualify should be executed in a most primitive fashion. i find that disgusting. andy, you pitched this story. >> i did. >> you pitched it passionately. >> i did. >> it's a pet peeve of yours. >> it is, a passionate pet peeve, absolutely. this is an easy one. i have been saying this for years. if there are judges, it's not a sport. the olympic motto is "faster, higher, stronger." not "winner because some dude gave you a higher score." >> what about boxing? >> boxing is a sweet science, greg. if subjectivity is required, it's not a sport. it doesn't mean that they're not athletes.

i'm not saying if you're an ice dancer or -- those snowboard guys are insane, watching that stuff is insane. but it's not a sport. stop saying it's a sport. >> you know what, is this why o.j. simpson got off? >> i don't think it has anything to do with that. he got off bus a jury found the case presented against him was not conclusive, that there was reasonable doubt. then it turned out later he ended up going to jail anyway. >> what are we talking about here? >> what's going on? >> i'm just pointing out that there's a judge, and it was incompatible with having a sportsman in the jury, in the court, because of that. >> nobody got that. >> i was going to make andy's position but i think i'll reverse myself. i'm not in favor of these new sports because we're winning gold medals in them and that's all that matters to me. that we beat norway in the winter olympics. >> you are a man of no principles. >> exactly. >> i'd like to applaud you for not using the lindbergh baby trial as the reference.

>> oh! >> jacked it up to the '90s. >> he's making fan of my somewhat antiquated jokes. fair enough, jesse. but you and your fellow red robin managers take a lot of smoke breaks with the bros from camp sports. as the experts, what's their take on this? >> we've all switched over to the patch, which is a good thing. >> now you also play hacky sack outside. >> yeah. >> still wearing your uniform? >> yeah, i didn't have time to change. i think i applaud jazz shaw. >> yes. >> impressive journalism for a cranky old man magazine. >> cranky. >> they have terrific articles. i don't know if you've seen them. "why don't you wear pants that fit?" and "my lawn and you getting [ bleep ]." >> i guess you're against -- >> it's literally -- his article is like, what's with the snowboarding and the spins? why don't you just go with

fastest snowboarder? he can't wrap his mind -- >> i like that, fastest. >> they do that. >> they can have fastest and that's all it should be. why? because you don't need judges. >> i agree. because judging reflects opinion. >> right. >> which is why you have multiple judges. because otherwise you would just need one to come to a conclusion. >> during the cold war the soviet bloc used to fix the ice dancing things so their people always won. until that gets corrected, and i don't see any sign that you can eliminate that, it's always going to be a problem. >> there's no quantitative way to measure the success of someone doing figure skating -- >> that's why it's not a sport. >> okay, they land their spin, they do three -- i don't know what i'm talking about -- three turns in the air, then how does one win over the other if they both stick their routines? >> i hate to keep bringing up the pageant world. judges. shouldn't it have been better to have you compete in things that you would have to race the other

women? >> i would have won. i would have won gold. because i'm that competitive. >> you are. you would have actually drugged your adversaries. >> because beauty is perceived. because my maliciousness is real. >> there's a t-shirt. well, i think in my opinion, judges are too judgmental. i think we've seen enough of that. maybe we should be judging the judges. should we do an event of judges? >> but what about in boxing? if you get knocked out, doesn't that make it a sport? >> then they should box until someone is knocked out. >> i'll go with that. >> that takes the the judges out of it. >> that would be my kind of sport. >> a ref to enforce the rules then box until they can box no more. the only exception i will make is for the beautiful, beautiful sport of synchronized swimming. that is the only exception. >> you're right, there's never a technical knockout in cockfighting, you're right. >> i'm not sure i understand that either. >> cockfights go till somebody dies.

>> that's true. >> it's a horrible sport, by the way, horrible. i don't know why i said that. perhaps because we have cockfighting fans at home. coming up, is chain nat biggest threat to america? ambassador john bolton discusses his new book "my moustache once arm wrestled a bear and won." what's up with dennis rodman? sources say something. there's a saying around here, you stand behind what you say. around here you don't make excuses. you make commitments. and when you can't live up to them, you own up, and make it right. so people think the kind of accountability has gone missing in e placesets where it's needemost. but i know you'll still find it when you know where to look.

the next time you nt a dvd, don't bother rewinding it. the way i see it, it's t next guy's problem. oh, larry. she thinks i'm crazy. mm-hmm. but would a crazy person save 15% on car insurance in just minutes? [ chuckles ] [ malennouncer ] 15 minutes for a quote is crazy. with esurance, 7½ minutes could save you on car insurance. welcome to the modern world. esurance. backed by allstate. click or call.

does an unlofld selfie hurt mental health? a government psychologist in thailand warns young thais who don't get enough positive feedback on their pictures are encountering emotional problems, bad news for the future of the country. instagram is popular in thailand with bangkok leading the list of the world's most instagramed places last year. a lack of likes can cause youths to lose self-confidence which "could affect the development of the country." as the number of new generation leaders will fall short it will pin hinder the country's creativity and innovation. here i thought our country was [ bleep ]. jesse, quoi to you first, because you have no self-esteem. if lack of feedback on selfies causes your country problems,

don't you deserve it? if this is where your country is dependent on power? >> i'm glad thailand has their priorities straight. if you're going to decray something as being bad maybe you shouldn't lead the world as an international hot spot for underage sex tourism. you seem to have your finger on the pulse of what's bad for teens, thailand. >> the government of thailand is collapsing. the country is now ungovernable. riots all over the country, people are demanding that the elected government stepped down. because they take too many selfies? i didn't realize that was is case. >> how nice of you to think we all may have noticed that. >> i did. >> yeah, thailand, selfies? >> i'm not this polite anybody. >> no, i was saying it was very nice of you, you kind of gave us more credit than we deserve. >> it was the sarcasm that i got. but it's all right. >> could selfies have a role in this, ambassador? could selfies be causing this? >> i think the problem was set by our president and young thais

all over the world were watching the president and the prime minister of denmark who is of the female persuasion, and the prime minister of the united kingdom, taking their own selfie. that's what caused it. i blame it on obama. like almost everything i can think of. >> impeachment will begin tomorrow. basically what they're saying, the entire country is like a 12-year-old girl. >> yeah. they're not doing well. >> no, they're not. >> man. it's like good parenting 101, right? you don't base your self-worth off of what other people think of you. >> yes. >> but i think that, you know, we all like the approval of others. i get excited, you know, if i have some comments that are nice. liked. but i do have a theory, though. >> what? >> possibly the less likes you have, the cooler you are, because people are jealous of you. >> ah. >> that's why you use social media is to show how awesome your life is. >> that's true. >> jealous people are not going to like your stuff because they

don't want you to know that they're all about it. >> that's true. i've noticed i've been getting a lot more unlikes. and that's probably because i'm exploding. i'm just exploding, andy. you take a lot of shelfies. >> i do. >> pictures of people's shelves. weird hobby. but it's an opportunity for expressment, i guess. >> i don't think it's your place to call it weird. as you know, i try to give positive feedback to as many young thy thais as i can, doing my part to save this kendry and ensure they have future leaders. i'd like recognition for it. the president or king of thailand, or prime minister or emproper -- >> you have a shot at it, announce your candidacy. >> i would just like a nice note from him or her. hey, andy. maybe if you run you should run on a platform that doesn't include selfies but lowering the price of [ bleep ] a dead monkey.

>> that country's bat [ bleep ], that's what i'm saying. >> i think you're over your quota. >> i think you have gone into the swear word hall of fame. >> i haven't done it in four weeks, haven't done "red eye" in a month. they don't go away. >> it doesn't roll over. >> last week -- >> last time we talked about rollover -- you know what it is? lack of opportunity is replaced by idle self-worship. they don't have any -- this is their only way to find self-esteem which they can't get through achievement. they find it this way. i'm so smart sometimes i scare myself. president obama's nominee to be ambassador to argentina may be as qualified as a crouton. mamet, who collected campaign contributions for the president, admitted during a senate hearing he's never been to argentina. >> have you been to argentina? >> senator, i haven't had the opportunity yet to be there. i've traveled extensively around the world but i haven't yet had

a chance. >> amazing. he's the latest questionable nominee after obama's pick to be ambassador to norway also revealed that he hadn't been on that country either. it turned out the nominee was a sack of old potatoes obama found under a bench in a park. ambassador, you're going to explode right now. you were an ambassador. do you have to be -- go to the country to get the job? can't you look it up on wikipedia? >> i'm going to defend obama on this one. i think the way the government of argentina's behaving now, they deserve this guy. as our ambassador. >> that is true. don't know what's going on there but i agree completely. >> had you been to the u.n. before you were named -- >> too many times. >> you're our last real ambassador. you put the bad ass in ambassador. jesse. in 1998 you were the orange julius ambassador to every mall in jersey. it's possible to slide by. >> yeah. one of the locations i pulled up and it was closed.

so -- yeah. i never noticed there was a bad ass in ambassador. that's really cool. there is, though. >> is there? >> there have been worse ambassadors. cynthia strong the ambassador to luxembourg, spent tons of government money on booze and luxury housing. o.j. simpson -- >> are you complaining about that? >> i'm saying there have been worse ambassadors. >> how about o.j. simpson? he was the hertz rental car brand ambassador. he'd never been inside a hertz rental car, and he cut his wife's head off, so that's a way worse ambassador. >> you've made a point there. by the way, that's not necessarily a recent reference. >> i did it because you did your o.j. simpson joke. >> all right, joann. as a former new york, miss north korea -- new york, who lives in jersey. >> i'm from new jersey. but i represented new york at miss usa.

no, i started a support group with this gentleman we just saw. who are looking for more members. >> phony shmoney. >> people who pretend to be things they aren't? >> exactly. what he should have done, you get on the phone once you get the call that you're up for this job and you call your travel agent. you get to argentina. vacation, business, pleasure. >> he could have been down there, or at least go to an argentinean steak house. they're all over the place. order that -- >> chimichurri! >> i don't think so, you would not have gotten the job. >> or would have gotten the job. >> go to a llama farm. >> i'd like to. 1 did spit on me though. >> i'm not surprised. >> hairy dude, i don't know, it was dark. anyway. andy.

he was an obama bundler, which i think means he sold him cable and internet. >> i believe that's correct. >> is that the only qualification? >> like making time warner cable an ambassador which lead to war. time warner cable you are the [ bleep ] worst. >> now everybody's swearing. >> i couldn't help it. it was jesse's fault. >> it's spreading. >> i'm trying to work it over. >> so much for the children's episode for the children's hospital. if he would have just gone to argentina -- >> cover your bases. >> like last week. marco rubio asked him, have you ever been to argentina? yeah, i was just there last week. >> that's all he had to do. here's the thing. he didn't know. everybody wants to be like france. >> he wanted luxembourg. >> he wanted the easy posy place. argentina? where the hell is argentina? >> i don't want to go to africa. >> yeah, i don't want to go to africa. i repeated it.

that's called not using your brain. >> yeah, it's called not using your brain. >> time to take a break. we've got more stuff when we come back. as you may have heard i've got a new book coming out march 18th. if you haven't ordered my book it's not cool. the book's cooled "not cool." coming to a city near you. 31 cities. 31 cities in 11 days. >> it's in that actual bus. >> i was fishing for a midget joke. i'd love to meet some of you. check out the entire tour schedule and where i'm going to be. huh, fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. yeah. everybody knows that. did you know there is an oldest trick in the book?

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dumps. during last month's visit to north korea, dennis rodman thanked hotel staff in the customary american way. by vomiting and defecating in the hallways. one employee recounts "rodman was drunk the whole week of his stay and the night before he left for the u.s. he was drunk and unconscious and vomited everywhere he turned, even urine nated and emptied the bowels in the hallway. the stench was just horrible." surprise. people are criticizing not only rodman but kim jong-un, saying that no one in a right mind would be a friend withed on rodman, animal that he is. rodman was reportedly asked to leave the country and may not return before completing rehab and or dying. i love the fact that people were saying, how can you hang out with somebody like kim jong-un? he's a horrible person. but they're going, how can you hang out with dennis rodman? he's is a horrible person. >> it shows the citizens of

north korea are smarter than kim jong-un, that's one take. but i think we've established tonight there's probably a vacancy in our ambassadorship to argentina for dennis rodman. >> jesse, you've been thrown out of hotels before. >> many times. >> not entire countries. do you think this is helpful for america? >> no, i don't think it is. i think what's upsetting is he's like the only american who's ever been there and they seem to have a vacuum of information. what he has done is contributed to the north korean stereotype of americans. know what i mean? now they're going to be, all americans, 7 foot tall alcoholic transvestites. >> bill clinton has been there too. >> there you go. >> i just watch your joke, getting sidetracked. you were driving down the joke highway and a truck rode out in front of you, drove you off the road. >> i hope that happens to your stupid bus. >> oh! >> if that happens you're going to feel really bad. especially if i find out you're the one who drove me off the road.

joann, you know how to handle drunks. you have handled drunks. is north korea overreacting? >> no. if you lose your bodily functions, you deserve to get cut off. >> yes. >> and then for like pictures of you acting like a fool to be all over the internet. >> yeah. >> what they didn't say in the story is that his bff kim was there holding back his hair. as he was vomiting. >> beautiful. >> they're friends to the end. he didn't want to get caught up in the drama so he fled. >> yeah. i see how that is. they're like kanye and -- the girl. >> kardashian? >> yes, thank you. >> how are they like that? >> they're like together. >> okay. >> in love. >> that makes sense. >> i think. i don't know anymore. andy, do you think he just wanted out of his friendship with kim jong-un and this was the only way out? >> i completely disagree, i think this is great for america. the north koreas are now going, we better not mess with americans, they are crazy. >> that's true. >> it's perfect. i think this was a misunderstanding. i don't think he def fated.

what they said was he emptied the bowel in this the hall ways. in north korea they execute people, i think they disembowel them. they emptied the bowels. not his bowels. >> semantics. >> i always thought it was so crazy they don't empty the bowels before they hang them in the hallway. >> then he was so disturbed he spun around and vomited. >> he vomited because it was disgusting after he emptied the bowels. >> i have to tell you, this is not unusual. i was talking about this in our story pitch meeting. i was staying in a hotel in which rodman was staying. and it was a nice place. every single waitstaff, from the bus boy to the waiter to the bartender, was terrified of him. because he would wander in wasted and demand stuff. all he did was demand. he'd come in, he would go to the bars, he would wait to be recognized. if he came over, he would walk over, he would sit and order a drink at your table and then get and it then leave.

he would just do that so he never paid for a single drink. he would just work up bills with different people and disappear. then yell, i guess he was at the bar, i can't remember what happened. he was at the bar and they had to plead with him to go home and he refused to. >> now all of our viewers are going to do that. >> yes. >> this has been greg's storytelling hour. >> just telling you, this is not news to me. what are you laughing at, jesse? >> it was just -- it was a long way to go. >> i wasn't -- it wasn't a joke, it was a real story, jesse. >> all right. >> sometimes i try to be serious. that wasn't it, it was just a bad joke, okay? do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us. got a video of your animal? we might use it. coming up, crack vending machines.

so, i'm working on a cistern intake valve, and the guy hands me a locknut wrench. no way! i'm like, what is this, a drainpipe slipknot? wherever your business takes you, you can se money with progressive commercial auto. [ sighs ] [ flo speaking japanese ] [ shouting in japanese ] we work wherever you work. now, that's progressive. call or click today.

i think it's i'm time to change that, andy. it's too depressing. >> i like it. >> what do you think? >> i'm okay with it

i like celebrations. >> that wasn't much of a celebration to me >> ask the president of "red eye" >> i'm wondering if we should go to the half time show and send him to the basement again the president. just trying to get a little action going here the president says back to the kiddie table. wow. i didn't see that one coming. >> is this because i'm right about snowden? >> oh, my god. >> see this? in the basement. >> he needs it. >> you know what? then you'd be no better than snowden. why hasn't snowden said anything about rush why's intelligence in olympics? >> the russian take our secretary for european affairs saying some word i've heard over here. i would never say such a word on television. and do you

hear edward snowden complaining about that? >> no. because he's beholder to the russians. >> how does it make you feel? >> now we're going to do another story. because you make me sick. should crack be a snack? a drug rehab center in vancouver installed crack pipe vending machines in efforts to reduce the spread of disease among addicts the pipes are less likely to cut mouths critics are worried about enabling fiends. there is worry it will put the local crack pipe dealer out of business. >> what about the mom and pop business? >> can't they make pipes in vancouver for crack that don't crack? >> you know what?

the crack is a joke. crack pipes it's -- it's a step mom and pop store. it has, they have a broken home. >> original crack pipes, isn't that what they've used? >> you're asking the wrong person here >> the first one to say is that means you're a crackhead. >> no. but that is what they use if you don't sell them, right? the thing you put a rose in when you're at bodega. >> that is what they smoke crack out of? right. >> what do they do with with the rose sf >> do you think this is a good idea? >> crack pipe vending machine? >> have you to test them in seattle and denver first to see if there is a market for them nationwide maybe it's just canadians >> yes. who knows?

>> is it dangerous? >> i'm afraid it's going to catch on all over ka in a dachlt that is trouble the last thing rob ford needs is another reason to love vending machine s. >> best crack joke. >> i don't know. >> joanne? >> joan? >> not answering. >> i'm going to do this once per week. sorry. look. i get -- look at this this time. your last name, i happen to screw up. >> what does that say about you? >> i have problems >> at least you don't have crack problems. >> yes >> that would be worse >> i don't see that it way. if you're going to smoke crack you're going to do it f it's going to benefit your health. i don't know this, doesn't make sense >> you tried

you tried to spin knit a nice way and go, "this is stupid" >> do you condemn efforts to help addicts? >> no. i condemn you. >> why? >> just in general. >> we talked about a similar thing with san francisco. >> right. it's a city. >> this is a city i don't live in in, a country i don't live n so i'm all for this trying this, they claim it's cheaper to sell pipes to crack addicts for $0.25 then it is for them to get hiv or hepatitis that ends up costing taxpayers a ton of money. >> i don't think it's true. maybe i'm wrong. >> i didn't know you got diseases from crack pipes. >> i don't think you should leave an outdoor recepticle.

>> it's not bolted to the ground. >> why are we smearing crackheads of canada? >> thanks and that does it for me, i'm greg gutfeld i shall see you next time. [ dennis ] it's always the same dilemma -- who gets the allstate safe driving bonus check.

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we'll enclude them tomorrow night. tonight on huckabee. let's not have another 40 something votes to repole a laugh that -- law that is helping people. >> the oklahoma james lang ford has a way out. an american terrorist in pakistan and a target for a drone strike. >> when a u.s. citizen goes a baud to wage wor his citizenship should not be. >> where do we draw the lean? plus a pregnant mother struck by a drunk driver? >> shortly after i