tonight on "red eye." >> will belgium have a decade-long struggle to catch up with the modern world. >> and are they planning to clone a t-rex on new year's eve? >> we remain optimistic that 2014 is the year it won't happen because it is the right thing to do. >> and are skateboarding dogs threatening to crash the stock market. the story cnbc refuses to cover. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> and now let's welcome our guest. she would be dripping in gold medals and her victim's blood.

i am here with joanne and good to see you match your layers today. that's not jesse. that is andy. i was reading the wrong joke. andy has informed me to ask you that from now on if you tweet him about his cat or cat-related information he will be blocking you. he got a job at spencer's gifts to get a gift on the linguini pasta and condoms. writer and comedian jesse joyce. and his mustache once landed a jumbo jet after a pilot had a heart attack. he landed it on a highway. the former u.s. ambassador to the u.n and fox news contributor is the president of "red eye," but you knew that. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> you would see 12 beautiful

in the world. >> i think i am falling in love. >> is labor out of favor? a democratic congressman, is there any other kind and it could be a boom because americans work too much anyway. keith ellison was a drunk figure skater that showed two million workers cut back over the next decade. >> what the office is saying is we will discourage kids having a latchkey. parents will come home working reasonable hours. people will be able to retire and people will be able to cook dinner rather than having to order out and get takeout. if the americans could have more choices to open up a new business they were wanting to start, this is a good thing. >> smearing takeout. i guess you got something against the delivery men. racist. meanwhile a like-minded

politico has an obsession with work. the professor the leisure studies and let that wash over you. we forgot that the purpose of life is to be happy and to pass that happiness on future generations and not simply to keep acquiring more stuff. obamacare will encourage you to spend more time working on humanity. our families, our hobbies and our faith. i find time for my hobbies. take a look. >> no he has found happiness because he has been doing this forever and he enjoys it so much it is incredible. he has an interesting job that allows him to tie up like an

animal. >> you are assuming that's not his job. >> it could be his job. >> and what a great job it is. >> should we listen to the professor of leisure or doesn't he have some kind of -- >> sickness? is that the word you are looking for? >> he is selling leisure. should we trust him? >> nor the politicians. it is a perfect excuse for a politician found having an affair with a staffer or engaged in corrupt activities to resign and get out of dodge before he is prosecuted and he says i want to spend more time with my family. these people who are ducking work to get the subsidee for obamacare, suddenly that is the excuse. this is ridiculous. >> you know who else wanted to spend more time with their family? squeaky from. >> a little man son family humor. you work three jobs and do you

have any free time? do you find this man insulting to somebody like you? >> it is lazy now. you could have called me the substitute teacher of laziness. it would have been more clef. more clever. do you know how many twitter things i get now? does he have time to do that show? how will he get off from auntie anne's pretzel's. at least you have a pufn line. the twitter people don't understand you need a punch line or don't bother. look, you nailed three in a row. the point is -- the point i am trying to make -- >> the moment swree been waiting for. >> he is claiming we are the only industrialized nation in the world that works as much as we do. i think he is right. i think we should be more like the spanish with their naps in the afternoon.

what is the last thing they gave them other than the flu and adultery? >> those are kind of nice. the flu and you get to spend time at home. this is your first real job. are you happier or more miserable? >> i have my good days and i have my bad days. >> you do sit behind andy. >> it has only been six days. >> what are your thoughts on this? >> i actually think some people, especially millenials will be working more to pay for these increases in their health care. i don't understand why people would work less. in the economy alone there is so much to spend money on. in terms of like chasing after your dreams or doing other hobbies or things, there is just no time for that. >> and generally those dreams suck. who wants to be a performance artist? i'm sorry. i forgot.

andy, do you wish you had more time to spend with your family and jesse you know where i am going with this. >> sure do. for now just holdup b. >> right and the point on twitter is exactly why i have a new policy that is blocking anyone that mentions cats to me. >> as long as they know it bothers you. >> i won't have to see them. >> you are talking like they are not here. >> they are here. >> i am all for working less. i don't think other people should have to pay to work less. that's the key. but one of the things obamacare gets right is this notion of portability. it is a pretty crappy system when your health care is tied to your job. >> that began with social security. >> conservatives don't disagree. paul ryan and others have said, look, if you are stuck in a dead end job simply because you need the health care, that's a crappy system. it would be nice if you could

leave that job and go to another job. >> let's put the responsibility where it belongs which is labor unions which got a tax-free treatment for employer provided health care in the 1940s. that's what locks people in. the labor unions wanted it and they got it. >> and we are eearing this talk from the left. people are working fewer hours and not working full time, the unions have been silent on this so far. it seems that that is what they oppose. they want people working full time. they want their members working full time. >> this has to be weird for jesse as a comedian. >> i haven't had a job in 17 years. i didn't think that was an interesting point. i am a history nerd about how we seem to be reverting back to the 19th century with longer hours and cappier wages i think it is weird.

they set it up with the labor unions and in the 30s and the 40s, like, i just made that up. they set it up so people would have more leisure team so they could spend money and put it back in the economy. it is ironic i think that we work like dangerous [bleep] jobs for long hours so that we can get more leisure time. and what we have done with our leisure time is watch reality shows of people who have [bleep] dangerous jobs. i find that ironic. >> that's a long way to go. >> there is a good argument for people who are voluntarily leaving the labor firm. if people want to volunteer to leave their jobs it is easier for people who want to work. >> provided the people are leaving don't actually leave other people. >> that's my first point. >> and that's my conclusion and my tip.

>> it has to be some combination of logan's run is the only thing that will save. >> you should be a writer for the jack par show. >> that's unnecessary. he is a very, very talented young man. i enjoyed that, mr. par. was his reveal a big deal? on sunday former university football player michael sam told the word he was -- told the world he was straight. >> i came to tell the world i am an openly gay, proud man. i told my teammates this past august that i came out to my teammates and they took it great. they rallied around me and they supported me and i couldn't have asked for better teammates. >> i had that one wrong. sam who is it the southeast conference's defensive player of the year is expected to be selected in the middle rounds of the draft. meaning he could be the first openly gay player in the league. at least not since -- go

ahead. >> conrad dolba. >> now you are going to die. kidding, conrad. it sparked anger across america with president obama leading the charge tweeting, congratulations on leading the way. that's real sports man ship. this is the only sport i care about. >> joanne you liked that, didn't you? >> i have butterflies. >> let me go to you. you lead the charge to keep lesbians out of the pageant tree. >> you have to cut it off somewhere. >> there is a joke there. >> oh my gosh! i didn't even realize i did that.

>> what do you make of this? i don't care. >> it is our culture's fascination with people's sexual orientation. being a football a player has nothing to do with who you like. the only people that are uncomfortable by it shouldn't be. it doesn't make sense. >> there is a curiosity, but it is born of discomfort. everybody gets excited when they find out you are straight. if somebody said i heard rock hudson was gay. he is gay? >> if i found out tom cruz was strait i would be excited. >> by the way, everybody should know you were kidding about conrad. >> i don't know if he was straight or gay. >> i don't know either.

>> jesse, was this the hot topic at hot topic today? >> that one was okay. >> what are you looking at over there? >> i did this for effect. >> are there cue cards over there? >> he is wondering how much team he has. >> don't come out of the closet and then say it is a load off your chest. i whyng crazy about it? there are 33 states that don't let people get america. it is not crazy controversial. he came outlast year. it bothers me because everyone compares him to jackie robinson. i went through every conference and not one did jackie robinson copy out. >> are you excited or indiffer represent? represent-- indiffer. >> i am indiffer rent. for years people argued that

sexual preference was a private matter. it was their business and nobody else's business. that's a position i believe in myself. what we have is the exact opposite of privacy. what do you want to know about my sex life? it is nothing we can say. do what you want to do. don't bother me with it. >> andy, i think you think it is a bigger deal that -- than i do. >> i think it is great that straight people decided it is okay. >> we are talking about media. >> i bet most gay people wish this wasn't a gay people and it is a story, but it is ludicrous to say this is a case. >> don't bring him into this. >> he said stop pretending this is the case. >> i am not referring -- i am referring to the media response. there san assumption that when

he comes out not everybody will like it. but everybody is like, oh clapping. he gets a tweet from president obama. >> that's not the assumption. the assumption is that this is a ground breaking thing that will happen in the nfl. there was a sports illustrated piece and all of them said oh his draft stock is going to drop. one said i don't think football is ready for an openly gay player. you can't say it is a big deal. >> are there openly gay baseball players? >> no, there are no openly gay -- >> basketball players? >> there was one. >> not during their career. it was after they ended. >> it is very rare. maybe that's why. i agree with you. when the scute -- when the executives come out and say there will be a problem there will be a problem. i am focused on the media excitement over this. i find it tire so many. >> i feel like you are damned if you do and damned if you

don't. if he does get picked for the draft, great, two. great, wow. everybody is putting aside his sexuality. they are focusing on his talent. if he doesn't, oh was that a bad move on his part? is it because he is gay? >> that's the point. he didn't just come out. he came out a longtime ago. >> he came out to his team. >> he came out now because he didn't want to be outed by other people. >> but they kept it to themselves. >> he didn't want some dumb reporter to dig it up and splash it. >> can you watch your language. >> it means football is different from the government. if you told 35 people anything it would be on the "washington post" the next day. >> good point. >> we can agree that we came to no conclusion. >> hold a press conference. >> coming up, should we negotiate with iran? ambassador john bolden

discusses his latest book. are crack pipe vending machines a good idea? my uncle steve said yes, but he runs a crack pipe vending machine company.

we have grudges about judges. that's the subject of tonight's -- >> "red eye" debate, 2013 live from the" red eye" debate center. >> i am your host greg gutfeld. tonight's "red eye" debate topic, do judged events belong in the olympics? at hot air.com, jazz shaw if that is his real name says

no. shaw writes, quote, the winner of the competition should be determined by the clear outcome demonstrated by somebody winning. just gef as you -- give as you sporting competition where we don't have to wait for judges to add up their own observations on the merit of the play. it is not a sport. it is performance art. he then added that all athletes who fail to qualify should be executed in a most primitive fashion. i find that disgusting. i pitched this story and pitched it passionatly. >> i have said so. >> this is an easy one. i have been saying this for years. if there are judges, it is not a sport. the olympic motto is faster, higher, stronger and not winner be a dude who gave uh higher score. >> what about boxing? >> boxing is not a sport. it is a sweet science. it doesn't mean they are not

athletes. i am not saying if you are an ice dancer and the snowboarding guys are insane. watching that stuff is insane. it is not a sport. stop saying it is a sport. >> is this why o.j. simpson got off? >> it has nothing to do with that. he got off because the jury found that the case presented against him was not conclusive and that there was reasonable doubt. and he ended up going to jail anyway. >> what are we talking about? >> i was pointing out that there was a judge and he was compatible with having a sportsman in the jury. gee nobody got that. >> i think i will reverse myself. i am in favor of the new sports because we are winning gold medals in them. we beat norway in the winter olympics. >> you are a man of no principals. >> and i want to apologize for not using the lindbergh baby trial for reference.

>> he is making fun of my somewhat antiquated jokes. >> so i guess you are against -- >> he is literally -- his article is like, what is with the snowboard and the spins? why don't you just go with fastest snowboarder?

>> i like that. >> they do that. >> that's all it should be. >> why? >> i agree. judging reflecting opinion. that's why you have multiple judges. you just need one to come to a conclusion. >> during the cold war the soviets used to fix the ice dancing and ice skating so their people always won. and until that gets corrected and i see no sign you can eliminate that. >> if they don't fall, they land their spin and they do three. i don't know what i am talking about. then how does one win over the other if they both stick their routines? >> i hate that you are bringing up the pageant world. should it have been better for you to compete in things? you have to race the other

women? >> i would have won. i would have won both. i am that competitive. you would have drugged your adversaries. >> beauty is perceived. my maliciousness is real. >> there is a t-shirt. well, i think in my opinion judges are too different. we have seen enough of that. maybe we should be judging the judges. should we do an event of judges? >> what about in boxing? if you get knocked outdoes president it make it a -- out doesn't it make it a sport? >> they should go until somebody is knocked out. >> that would be my kind of sport. >> you have a ref enforce the rules and then box until there is no more. the only exception i will make is for the beautiful, beautiful sport of synchronized swimming. >> there is never a technical knockout in cock figh tie ng. it is a fact that cock

fighting goes until somebody dies. >> a horrible sport. >> coming up, is china the biggest threat to america? john bolden discusses his latest book. >> what is up with dennis rodman? sources say something.

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hurt mental health? young thais who do not get enough positive feedbacks on their pictures are encountering emotional problems and that is bad for the future of the country. instagram is usually popular with a mall in bangkok leading the world's most instagram places. a lack of life can cause youth to lose self-confidence. the number of new generation leaders will fall shore and hinder -- fall short and hinder the country's creativity and innovation. jesse, i go to you first because have you no self-esteem. if lack of feedback on selfies causes your country's problems, don't you deserve it? if this is where your country

is dependent? >> i am glad thailand has their priorities straight. if you will call something bad for a teen ager's self-esteem maybe you should not lead the world for underage sex tourism. you seem to have your finger on the pulse on what is bad for teens. >> and the government of thailand is collapsing. the country is ungovernable. people are demanding that the elected government step down because they take too many selfies. >> it is nice of you to think we all may have noticed that. >> selfies or not being polite anymore? >> it was nice and you gave us more credit than we deserve. >> do selfies have a role? could selfies be causing this? >> it was set by our president and young thai's were watching

the president and the prime minister of denmark who is of the female persuasion and taking their own selfie. i blame it on owe -- obama. >> impeachment will begin tomorrow. the entire country is like a 12-year-old girl. >> yeah. they are not doing well. it is like good parenting 101. you don't base your self-worth off of what other people think of you. but we all like the approval of others. i get excited if i have some comments that are nice. but i have a theory. possibly the less likes you have the cooler you are. people are jealous of you. that's why you use social media is to show how awesome your life is. so jealous people are not going to like your stuff.

they don't want you to know that they recall about it. >> that's true. i noticed i am getting a lot more unlikes. that's probably because i am exploding. i am just exploding, andy. you take a lot of shelfies, pictures of people's shelves. it is an opportunity for expression. >> call it weird. as you know, greg, i try to give positive feedback to as many young thai's as i can. i am doing my part to save this country and to ensure there are future readers. i would like some recognition for it. i would like the president or the king. >> there is a nice note from him or her. >> maybe you should run on a platform that doesn't include selfies, but lowering the price of a dead monkey.

>> i think you are over your quota. >> i haven't done it in four weeks. >> they won't go away. >> remember last week we talked about rollover. >> you know what it is? it is lack of opportunity replaced by idol self-worship. there is no market to find jobs. this is the only way to find self-esteem which they can't get through saw chief meant. through achieve achievement. president obama's nominee could be the best am ambassador to air general dina. they are as qualified as a crouton. he admitted during a senate hearing that he has never been to argentina. >> have you been to argentina? gee i haven't had the opportunity -- >> i haven't had an opportunity yet.

>> amazing. he is the latest questionable nominee after obama's pick to the ambassador of norway who admitted he wasn't in that country either. the nominee was a sack of old potatoes. ambassador, you are going to explode. you were an ambassador. do you have to go to the country? can you look it up on webbing peaked -- wikipedia? >> i think the way they are behaving, they deserve this guy. >> that is true. i don't know what is going on, but i agree. >> had you ever been to the u.n before you were named? >> too many times. >> you are our last real ambassador. you put the bad ass in ambassador. jesse in 1990 -- 1998 you were the orange julius ambassador to every mall in jersey.

>> one of the locations i pulled up and it was closed. i never noticed there was a bad ass ambassador. >> there have been worse ambassadors. cynthia strom and she spent tons of money on booze and luxury housing. >> are you complaining about that? >> i say there have been worse. >> how about o.j. simpson? he was never in a herself -- a hertz rental car. and by the way, that's not necessarily a recent reference. >> i did it because you did your o.j. simpson joke. >> as a former ms. new york who lived in jersey, you kind of must sympathize. >> i am from new jersey. i represented new york at miss usa. gyre like the opposite of our -- >> like the opposite of the football team. >> i started a support group

with this gentleman you just saw. we are looking for members. >> these are people who pretend to be things they aren't. >> exactly. what he should have done, you get on the phone as soon as you get the call because you are up for this job and you call your travel agent and you get to argentina. vacation, work. >> he could have been down there or gone to an argentine steak house. they are all over the place. you would not have gotten the job. >> or would have gotten the job. >> let's go to a llama farm. >> i don't know much about llamas. once they spit on me. it was dark in that back house. anyway, andy he was an obama

bunked -- bundler which he means him internet. >> it would be like making time warner cable an ambassador which would lead to war. time warner cable you are the [bleep] worst. >> i am trying to work it over. >> if he would have gone to argentina like last week was it marco rubio who said have you been to -- >> exactly. that's all he had to do. maybe because you know what? he didn't know. everybody wants to be like france. he wanted the easy peasey play. where the hell is argentina. isn't there a musical?

that's called not using your brain. >> all right. it is time to take a break. we will have more when we come back. as you may have heard, i have a new book coming up, march 18th. the book is called "not cool. if you ordered it, you are cool. 31 cities, jesse. 31 cities in 11 days. >> it is in the actual bus. >> i was fishing for a midget joke. i would love to meet some of you. go to g gutfeld.com for the tour schedule and where i am going for. @w@wowowpg÷÷owúç÷gg

slam dunk the drunken

dumps. during last month's visit to north korea dennis rodman thanked the staff in a custom mary way, by vomiting and deaf deaf -- and deficat nie g in the hallway. he was drunk the whole stay and the night before he left for the u.s. he was drunk and unconscious and vomited everywhere he turned and he urinated and empty the the bowels in the hallway. the stench was horrible. surprise. people are criticizing not only rodman, but kim jong-un saying no one would be a friend with rodman, the animal he is. he was asked to leave the country and may not return before completing rehab and/or dying. ambassador, i love the fact that people said how can you hang out with somebody like kim jong-un? he is a horrible person. they are goingn? he is a horrible person. >> the citizens of north korea

are smarter than kim jong-un. but i think we established that there is probably a vacancy in our ambassadorship to argentina. >> jesse, have you been thrown out of hotels. >> a lot of times. >> do you think this is helpful for america? >> i don't think it is. he is the only american who has been there. what he has done is contributed to the north korean stereo type of

>> do you think this is a good idea? >> maybe you have to do some tests. >> is this dangerous?

>> it isangerous and i am afraid it will catch all over canada. the last thing rob ford needs is another reason to love vending machines. >> that's a crack joke. >> that was great. >> joanne -- >> i am not answering. >> i am going to do this once a week. >> i'm sorry. >> look at this this way i am fine with your last name and i screw up the easy part. >> what does it say about you? >> i have problems. >> at least you don't have crack problems. that would be worse. >> yes. >> you know, i -- some people worry about the pipes will be enabling for addicts, but i don't see it that way. if you are going to smoke crack you are going to do it. if it is going to benefit your health, i don't know. this does president -- this doesn't make sense.

>> you tried though. andy, do you condemn their efforts to help these addicts 1234*. >> no, i condemn you. >> we talk about a similar thing with san francisco. >> it is a city. >> it is the city i don't live in and a country i don't live in. i am all for them trying this. they claim it is cheaper to sell prieps to crack addicts for 25 cents than it is for them to get hiv and hepititis that cost taxpayers the money. >> i don't think it is true. maybe i am wrong. >> i am not a canadian taxpayer. >> i don't think you should leave an outdoor rectepacle that collects quarters. >> they say it is not bolted to the ground so people are shaking it to get them for free. >> you can't even trust a crack head to buy a crack pipe. >> i am not buying a crack

addict would do that. >> why are we smearing the crack heads of canada? big thank you to joanne, jesse joyce, john bolton. that does it f f union.

we'll enclude them tomorrow night. tonight on huckabee. let's not have another 40 something votes to repole a laugh that -- law that is helping people. >> the oklahoma james lang ford has a way out. an american terrorist in pakistan and a target for a drone strike. >> when a u.s. citizen goes a baud to wage wor his citizenship should not be. >> where do we draw the lean? plus a pregnant mother struck by a drunk driver? >> shortly after i