>> tonight on "red eye." is the world finally ready to accept human bag get marriage? we will show you one town where they are lining up toed with the delicious french bread. and what does steve caw reel think about greg gutfeld when they met at a book signing? >> i always enjoyed his work. upon meeting him he is kind of clueless and kind of an arrogant jerk. >> and why are some dogs obsessed with becoming more human? and what secret is the canine community hiding? the free and investigative report next. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> and now let's welcome our guests. she is so hot that all of her

pockets are hot pockets. shaz why she smells so -- that's why she smells so delicious. it is kimberly guilfoyle. some claim there is a woman to blame and i know it is her fault because she is a horrible person who does horrible things. stop waiving. in high school he was voted most likely to end up sad and alone on a 3:00 a.m. talk show which is scarily accurate. it is andy levy. and sitting next to me, michael k, former advisor to the uk ministry of defense, who hasn't been, and now editor at large. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. your body is a wonderland, greg. can i be your house? >> that strikes me as painful. he wants to delete all you can eat. 5* saudi cleric, aren't they

all, is waging on obesity. sal for short issued -- saying buffets violates the principal of islams. speaking on a saudi tv station, the cleric explains the amount of food sold needs to be determined beforehand saying, quote, who ever enters the buffet and eats for 10 or 50 50reals and not determining the quantity and allah. one tweeted, the disaster is those who criticize the shake and ignorant they do not know. you convinced me. delivering the u.s. official response, these guys. ♪

>> that will be me later tonight at the bars. they don't serve food though. that's the odd thing about it. kimberly, i hate to say it, but i am against intolerance of all kind. all you can eat buffets are evil. >> i love all you can eat buffets. if i could spend five of seven days there i would love it. i love food eating contests as you witnessed on the fourth of july. i beat bob with the chicken wings. >> and then you puked on the homeless man. >> he did puke after. everyone thought it was mean. everyone thought he can't handle it. this is particularly crazy that they are against it. that means pretty much everything in the western way of life they would be against. everybody likes a good bargain in all you can eat. >> that's their problem. >> mikey, you eat nothing but crumb pets and monicles. i will stop doing these cliche jokes. >> you have dealt with intelligence and you deal with

these ideologies. should we be worried they are going after our buffet restaurants? >> not wore lead. not worried. the word strikes a bit of a lightning bolt right down the center. they associate with the jihad. it is not. it is an interpretation or an opinion by a religious scholar. there are different perspectives on what it is. it could be -- there is a rule saying it is from the senior islamic scholars or a religious scholar or somebody trained in islamic law. there is a number of perspective on who can issue it. i wouldn't recommend it. it wouldn't be universally bind -- binding. you need to know this. >> i feel like it is just blog posts. >> i actually think we should issue more against mcdonalds.

google it and you know what comes up second? fat wallet. that's something you've got. >> oh please, you just flatter me, you man with your stuff. i could issue a fatwa on fatwas. you say it is making you convert. >> these buffets -- when i have a lot of variety and choices i get overwell med and then i hyper ventilate and then pass out in the buffet and it is hysteria. >> you are covered with hash browns and grease. >> i wake up like that. >> actually most days. >> i think all of us have a small fear of going hungry. >> true. i feel that way. >> we have a fear of running out of food.

>> you know what is funny? when ever you order food i have the thought that that i may not get it. i don't know where that started. maybe it is because my parents never fed me and kept me in a closet is. >> your parents never fed you? >> did it stunt your growth? >> you obsess on food. after the 5:30 break you start talking about on "the five" what should i order? >> chinese food. >> just so you know, on this show we pretend "the five" doesn't exist. >> "the five" is a show that is in my head that they convinced me never airs. >> so i am in your head. >> exactly, exactly. get out of my head and into my car, if you know what i mean. >> not a bad place to be. >> yeah, a lot of space. defend the all you can eat buffets.

>> i don't care all that much about the all you can eat buffet if they issue a fatwa i am walking to a recruiter's office and reenlisting. >> or the cheddar bay biscuit. >> it is more important about the shape and the bread sticks -- the shape of the bread sticks are far more appropriate than the biscuit. last point -- >> hold on. since the fatwa against all you can eat buffets have been issued, i haven't seen president obama at an all you can eat buffet. draw your conclusions, but i -- look hugh grant i am trying to make a point. >> he is like huge grant. >> as in tall? >> he is the saudiy qifl lept of of -- equivalent of

bloomburg. >> i just hope they don't start doing stuff to our buffets. i always thought that is the next threat, the food terror, putting stuff in buffets. i thought about that a lot. >> it is your food obsession that leads into that. put down the phone or end up alone. that is a hot new tip. susan patton, there is a book called mary smart. you can spend three quarters of your time in school on the hunt for a hub be. other advice, skip the happy hour for a trip to the museum. wear feminine pass tells instead of the trendy ensembles. start looking people in the eye and smiling. yes, the masterbating transit, and the most important advice, do not settle. >> if you know the top of the lu

want to accomplish in your life is to get married and you are 31, 32 years old and you haven't found mr. right, then yes, maybe settling for mr. good enough is not such a bad idea. >> i should have watched that clip. unfortunately all of the good men are already taken. >> rebecca. >> what? >> what indeed. he is a catch. kimberly, do you agree with ms. ms. patton's traditional views? are women setting themselves up for failure? >> in what way? by settling? they have too high of expectations? >> by obsessing over their phones. do you know what i mean? >> you might be missing somebody passing right in front of you. i think there is a multi

faceted approach. when it comes to men you need a diversified portfolio. a little financial advice. >> don't know what it means. >> if you go all in on one then you are done. number seven. >> high risk and low risk bonds. >> that's the type of thing. it works well. >> which would he be. >> i guess you would be a bond a jane bond. >> you know what he is? a brit coin. that's not even funny. >> did you meet your wife in a museum? >> i was the exhibit. >> or an exhibitionist. pervert. >> you are on fire.

>> i agree with kim kimberly. >> let me rephrase the question. you are out alone tonight. >> complete your answer. sorry i interrupted. >> i was going back to expectations. new york sets the expectation. just look at "sex and the city." the opening statement is pretty much women come to new york looking for labels and love and then it is -- and then mr. big or not so big in my case. >> now we know something about you. >> joanne, we can hear your biological clock ticking. >> so mean. >> are you worried your high standards and drunken ways will leave you alone with three or four cats that will

eat you when you pass out? >> i do all of the things she says not to do. you know what? i am happy. that's the thing. i feel great. i have a stench on me every morning. this all wreaks of desperation. it does. when you focus all of your efforts on finding a husband, that's when you don't find a husband. what man wants to be with a woman drooling all the time or is too available. i am not all about that. >> that's good for you. >> here is the thing. we know everything she is saying is right. i don't feel like being smacked in the face again with this harsh reality because i am alone. she has a point. >> i was waiting for you to say she is right.

mine is just forget it. husband? where is the s, husbands. >> people come to new york to be successful. >> but your career doesn't feed you chicken soup when you are sick. right? isn't that what they say? >> you put your career over dating. dating takes a second place. who would be ditched? >> i would ditch me in a second. seriously. anyway, andy as the only feminist on the pam how offended are you? >> very offended. a couple of things first of all, she is writing from a position of white privilege. second, i don't think she would be woman spaining to

other women how to get married. her thesis is predicated on gender binarism. i found it insultingly sisnormative. i don't like it at all. on a serious note no one should take advice from a woman who is in her 50s and 60s and obsessed with where she went to college. the colors she was wearing was orange and black. she was wearing the prin stone colors to the -- prin stone colors in the interview. you are paw set thick. you are pathetic. grow up. >> did you hear that? >> great fact. >> that was a great fact. >> they are in your face with race. activists at the university of michigan want engineers to build bridges to people of other races. you a new proposal would require the under grads at the

college of engineering and business to study race and ethnicity. they suggested it is helpful for econ majors to study through the course of race. they believe innovation lies in the crevasses of diversity. meanwhile, at the college of performing arts -- >> it is amazing when you watch him getting dressed and how excited he gets. you have to help him put them on. should engineering students focus on engineering and nothing else? their job is important. >> yes, but we live in a world of globalization. it doesn't exist -- it is

everywhere around a the world. >> i get your point. the heart of the matter is anything that promotes respect flew sh -- through personality is valleyed by someone that derives from race, color, creed and general -- gender. they will help you deal with other countries. this is about telling you you are wrong and you have to believe what we believe. like this is a racist country. >> you hit the nail on the head. >> why did i get a great fact? >> great fact. >> that was a lousy opinion. can we play the lousy opinion sound. >> it was an incomplete sentence. >> it was all of those things.

>> take it back. >> we can't take it back. >> i get are yo point. >> couldn't it make our buildings less sturdy and our planes less safe? >> they are so busy on focusing on the race and ethnicity that they don't pay attention to math class. they tried to force me to take women's study. what am i? >> look in the mirror. study that woman. >> i don't like the whole compel thing. i get the general education course. why do you have to force people -- what is the point1234 do you want to pay for my college? >> you only force bad ideas. good ideas don't need to be coerced. you are on record for saying

school should be segregated which surprised me. where do you come up with this? >> i read a lot. i am highly educated. i like to separate myself from people who are not as educated. this is a good option, but it should be an option. if they had mandatory cuts, it is an acting class. ease -- especially people in business you need to read an audience and think on the fly and improve classes. >> making a good point. let's do that. >> have you done an improve course? >> that's why she brought it up so you could ask. that's what improve people do. >> i was a theater major. >> i know, we are improving. you fell into my trap. >> didn't get that though. >> andy, pull us out of this improve hell. >> i think this is a great

idea. i also think it would be a great idea if ethnic and study have to take an engineering class. >> you when you have to take a class through the prism of race you say i have to look at this ideology. you don't look through race. you use facts and decide for yourself. >> do you not think we could all do with a little more culture? >> go to a museum. >> yeah, go to a museum. you want cultured, buy some yogurt. >> what skills will make the ladies fall in loaf with you? fall in love with you? first are they remaking the cosby show? no, but imagine if they did. are you imagining?

they put the high in hiring. grab your birkenstocks, it is time for -- welcome to pot corner where we rap about all of the cool thens happening in the world of pot. on thursday, denver was the site of what was called canni-search. the name for a pot-themed job fair. they wanted to make green coming from places as far away as alabama and the last fish show. the new "wall street journal" thinks people think it is less harmful than alcohol, tobacco and rat poison.

>> oh my goodness. >> why does he hate that? >> you don't know where that was? >> shouldn't we be happy that they are seeking jobs even if the job is to get more pot? >> i think the economy needs all the help it can get. if he is adding revenue through taxes then how can this be about it? the irony is you couldn't smoke marijuana a at the fair and you could smoke it live. >> that is a bit strange. it will increase gdp. if you had a job fair for a porn actor you are not in line [bleep] everybody. >> never, ever been. >> what is the great fact for that?

>> great fact. >> thank you. >> kg, do you think that marijuana is safer than the other stuff? let's face it. o.j. simpson killed more people. >> what? you know my thoughts on this, right? >> yes. you are like bill o'reilly, you are against everything. >> no, no, no. i am definitely for certain things, but pot isn't one of them. >> because you don't need it we have to all ban it? oh let's make up other laws. >> fine, fine, fine. we can tax it and do it in a right way, but i don't like the whole drug are industry and i didn't see it go in an independent way. >> it is because you are getting the regulated product. it is not off the street so it is not laced with certain

things. you know exactly what you are getting. sometimes you don't when dealing with the drug dealers. >> it is not a greatly fact when you call for them and then you have to ask for it. it was so awesome and you had to put it out there. >> we can do whatever we want. >> now it can stay. >> you'll get one, mikey. that was an interesting poll about smoking. are you a fan of smoking polls.. >> i am. i think smoking polls are good. >> can we name it a cani-search? >> it should have been called

cannibiz with a z. that's what happens with potheads they can't come up with anything. >> see my point? >> the can job get it? >> like the cannes film festival? >> cani-biz. >> now you helped them and i hope you are happy. >> we still have a couple of hours. you go home and you copyright this. i know you will do that. you are not going to go home and cuddle with the cat. >> not tonight. by the way $14 million of sales during the first month of legalization in colorado. of course they are having a job fair.

the sales are unbelievable. >> it could be bad and it could be good. i wish they would be mature and we are high. treat it like a martini. >> does everyone that smoke pot, do that? >> i saw it. >> are you high right now? >> no. it is a generalization. >> see the people like seth rogan who go on talk shows are the fast foster brooks of pod. we have comedians and potheads and it doesn't undo good for the fry. >> but there are no pile who -- no people who do it to excess.

just because you have a beer does it make you an alcoholic? >> i have to take a break. coming up, the c block. the c block is sponsored by a crass. or is it two women kissing? thanks vase and two women kissing. do you want to know a secret? i am a vase or am i. >> oh you are a cool priss truss, vase woman. first listen to this. this just in. in the last two minutes, none of this made sense, right, now we know president i will explain after this.

are they better in a sweater? they have put the tension in good intentions fighting over whether penguins should wear wool after an oil spill. they are accepting donations of little sweaters which provide warmth and prevent the birds from ingesting oil when they preen. but they said it could over heat them and could contribute to the penguin's stress. let the penguins wear sweaters. kimberly, this debate was

tearing the community apart. where do you stand? >> i finally have a place to send my dog sweaters for bella because she got a little plumper. my friend had a chihuahua and has an over eating problem and is obese. sean, you can't take the sweater. what do i do? >> i am sending them to the penguins. >> that's a true story. >> i know. won't the penguins get used to the sweaters and then become ashamed of their own nudity? look what happened to america. >> i know. i wish i could take this dress off right now. >> a penguin sweater underneath. >> i think penguins are so cute. however, and i will sound bad, but shouldn't we be focusing on the people that don't have sweaters or just went through

natural disasters who may need clothing? >> it fit these penguin sweaters. >> it can be a sample size. >> i believe it is the people who send the sweaters who don't normally do the other charity. this is more fun to talk about. you know what, at a cocktail party i send my sweater to penguins. >> i am looking to donate to a new cause. >> i am tired of the homeless families. let them freeze. these penguins, i don't know where they are. >> how do they know they need sweaters. >> i i am not a tweng win expert. penguin expert. >> great fact. >> you got it.

>> you have had experience with penguins, some say intimate. you said you have been around the penguins and they smell. you made a weird noise with your us mouth. >> you just told my story. it was going to be that a and it will look like i follow you and stalk you. >> they are cute until -- that was down in the falkland islands that are just off the coast. awesome. we went down there. i had a wonderful opportunity to see a penguin and i had these visions of happy feet. you get dropped off and they drop you down wind on purpose. it is the most disgusting

smell. >> why? >> did you get down to your boy shorts and get out your machete? >> i had my speedos on. >> penguins are beautiful creatures. >> does their body smell? what is the problem? >> it is the latter. >> they don't have toilet paper. >> oh my got -- oh my god, that's true. >> they can't huddle together bus it is like i am going to pop off for an oopsie days a see and then come back. >> it is like a dash a dash. >> look, i don't know if weening wins wear -- penguins wearing sweaters or don't, but they look sexy as -- preen -- [bleep]. >> wearing wool after an oil

spill is fine, but not after memorial day. >> they look like the united colors of peneton? >> it turned out all of benaton's stuff shrinks so now they send it down. >> great fact. >> how does he get great fact he motor boated off of my fact. >> mefer heard that before. >> i am trying to get to this story. do self-picks lead to face-lifts face-lifts and collagen lips? selfie is leaving for self- mutilation or beautification. there is nothing wrong with plastic surgery, right, john travolta. one this three surveyed saw a

rise in request due to patients being more self-away like instagram and snap chat. joanne, you are september self-obsessed, do you think they are right? >> we are more aware of our imperfections. simsymetry is looked at as beautiful. the thing is though, you don't need surgery anymore. 24r* are apps where you can air brush yourself. you can do things to make the picture look good. if you are still not satisfied and you have the money and are in a right mind, why not? >> isn't that a from answer. >> would you ever consider getting a new face 1234 you look like my key k. mikey k. >> your questions are so complex it is amazing. my arms aren't long enough for

a decent selfie. if you have a big nose like i have the selfie is a no go area. it doesn't really bother me. >> i love how he is like, i am so unattractive. >> self-depp pro location. >> maybe you should indulge a bit more in that. >> he is hurting me deeply. >> are we becoming a super official shallow society? >> that had god we are. i am all for people to do what they want to make themselves look better. except the people who turn into cat woman. that freaks me out. if you want to do something within reason, fine. the risk i ponder is how? how, greg, can you improve on it? you can't.

>> andy, you have had a number of doctors appointments and i won't bring up. >> they were more like consultations. you are going to put something on your back. >> what if you marry somebody because you want to have kids, and then you find out like you don't really know what your kids are going to look like because of the plastic surgery. she could be beautiful and the kid is a monster you have to leave in a forest. >> i am not being funny, but is that the same as the push up bra? it is selling boys something that doesn't exist. >> incorrect. >> it just got really awkward in here. >> that's a padded push up. there is underwear. please.

>> andy, did you -- i can't remember. >> it doesn't matter. >> we have something coming up. we some -- i will be in 31 at cities and 11 days. stop by and say hello. buy my book. g gutfeld.com. you can see the entire schedule. don't e-mail me and ask me where. go to g gutfeld.com.

>> they will dance on a pole and they will eat your soul. they were given names at a crowd . they were powered by the same

type of motors that run windshield wipers in cars. it cost and can be controlled by a smartphone. what if they go from striping for humans to killing them? no one is more alarmed than joe magaziney. we had to keep our daughters off the pole and now it is our robots. >> i am concerned about any use of robots and if scientists are building robots to be strippers the scientists may be lonely. >> instead of killing us robots can be our sexual entertainment object. >> it is not a good thing if they are our sexual entertainment project. sure they start as strippers, but then they want to be called exotic dancers and then the people are dead. >> that is true. what about strippers getting

replaced? >> i hope so. i went to a bachelor party and all of the strippers' boyfriends were there. i look etd at the ground. according to a report a massage therapy business in michigan may be a front for a doomsday cult. they gave up their career 1k3* families. a. row practice ter. a chiropractor. have you heard anything about this and do you consider joining in. >> i have heard about this and i have considered joining. as long as that massage parlor is only a front for a doomsday cult and nothing else disgusting. >> do you ever look and decide which one you will join like if one has a 401k? >> yeah, to be honest plan for a 401k because 50% of personal bankruptcies happen to people

who spent money on doomsday preparations and it never came before they died. >> i how can you tell if your dooms day cult is real or not? >> that is the problem. you have to interview people. the best thing they can say is they used to being to doomsday. you will have to do fact finding on your own. a british woman said the scratching sound she was hearing in her head was not an ear infection. it was maggots. >> this could happen anywhere, right in? >> used to be you worried 3w* magazine gots if you are dead -- maggots, but they don't always know if you are real or not. >> the doctor tried to flush them. is that safe? >> wouldn't adding another

food ingredient attract more parasites. they pulled out eight maggots in the surgery. how can they be sure if they got them all? >> you can't be. easeespecially if the same doctor put olive poil in her skull. >> last question, should we go to bed with earplugs on or is that worse because if there is a fire you won't hear the alarm? >> sleeping is dangerous. that's why i hate doing. it the only thing more dangerous a russ is lobster fishing. >> thank you for looking all of that up. you are always a stair fying pleasure. >> thank you, greg. >> what are you doing? >> i am staying indoors. >> good. where you should be. coming up, mape nipples.

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hannity on monday. a new "red eye" returns on monday as well. next week guests include liz mcdonald, brooke goldstein and rick leveth --

leventhal. >> that's the last story. >> outrage ripples over male nipples. the fcc has released a complaint they received after the super bowl of several viewers who were red-hot about the chili pepper clothing. i found it difficult i had to see the nipples. men and women should have to wear shirts. there are children watching. >> how is it okay to perform shirtless and showing both nipples and yet you sanction by janet jackson to half time show with a display of nudity and the nipples of more than one adult were played on broadcast tv. this quote is really, really, really long. do you think it is a double standard that i can take off my shirt, but you can't ?i i

am hoping you keep yours on. >> and he is hoping you take yours off. >> that's not true. >> you know, look, it didn't bather me. you had a monologue remember you were going off about that? >> yes. >> people get upset about this thing. when i modeled in the 1800's they would paint your boob so it wouldn't show flew the ball. everyone would go crazy on the ad. >> you know what i am talking about? >> it is getting a little hot under the color with chem betterly talking about boobs. >> it is a fact. >> this is the lead singer of the red-hot chili peppers. it is not the first time hay appeared on a stage without a top so. he is a good -- >> he looks good.

we heard the thaim innings things about beyonce. the worst thing about the super bowl was the super bowl. >> do you agree with him? >> i am outraged because it feels good to yell because this false sense of power makes me feel better about my certainly certainly -- my personal significance. >> do you agree he has a great vigor? >> he is in pretty good shape for a guy your age. >> phak. >> you are totally favoring andy. >> we shoob dash cash we should be putting black bars over their nipples. >> why are you daying that? >> the people who were offended need to get a life. the people who made a point about the double standard have my support.

>> let's close the showdown and get drunk. a thanks to kimberly guilfoyle and that does it for me. i'm greg gutfeld and i will see you tomorrow. no i won't. where will i be? @w@wowowpg÷÷og

there is breaking news tonight with new clues just coming in about what may have happened inside the missing malaysia airlines jet. reports indicate the plane wildwild ly ascended and descended. tonight we'll bring you coverage of the mysterious disappearance and the breaking news as i am joined by a whole team of aviation, naval and terror experts. but first we want to get you caught up on the latest developments some