fossil fuel like oil are all that stands between us and pofr it jie can't wait for that girl to run for president. that's our show, see you next week. tonight on red eye. coming up on red eye, why was the transformer known as bumble bee found hiding at the top of the empire state building. we'll investigate rumors that he may be in talk tos join the other side. plus is the president sorry that a sequel to mrs. doubt fire should be in the works, i don't think we should apologize or be defensive about it. we should be open to other ways that we can make it better as president that's what i intend to keep doing as long as i'm in the office. >> finally, just stifling a sneeze make you look polite or really stupid. next. >> now, let's welcome our

guests. she's so hot, she arrives an hour early so she has time to cool off. no relation to roddie, business morning contributor and fox business networks, if you don't have it, you don't have it, she saucier than a dish at the olive garden and her bread sticks are bottomless, it's joanne nuginski. rumor has it the next season of american horror story will be based on his dating life. it's andrew levy. >> he's taken time off to be with her. sitting with us is gavin, hez mo his movie which i actually thought and wasn't bad. >> you have another movie. the brotherhood of traveling pant rants is available on net flix and you have how to be a

man. >> the league. that . that's the first story. >> anyway, he dropped by to ask if they supply on thursday. youthless idiot edward snowden made an unexpected appearance. i wonder if the traitor asked if russia intercepted communications of millions of individuals. >> does russia intercept, store or analyze in any ways the communication of millions of individuals. >> always with the serurveillan stuff he really has a one tract mind. >> how is how vladimir putin

responded. >> case closes. it's hard to argue with that. we don't have a translator because we don't have a budget. meanwhile, what's our commander in chief up to? delightful. anyway, back in russia, one citizen used a q and a with putin to pass along some important information. >> how do you take off the shorts usually. you probably have been doing it like let's say you do it like that. you see it so many -- to take off the shorts or some people do it like this, like this. from the bottom, go up, you know? but right here is the fastest way if you want to impress your lady, you necessiknow, like com the super fast way here it is and with one hand too. you just stand like this. you got up here boom.

that is easy. that's how you're supposed to take off shirt that fast. >> if they have a russian red eye, you better be hosting it. gavin, you have to admit. that is a better way to take off your shirt. you were looking at him going what's wrong with this guy and then you came away. your mind has been changed. >> well, you can have tabs on the front of your t-shirt and put it forward but that takes hours. >> arm pit grab saves over one second and over the course of 9,000 years you save almost one minute. >> putin says not to worry. they don't have any interception for surveillance. is it possible that they could be lying. >> it's funny that you start out with putin told snowden. did you hear the way he resided

it too, putin is there things going on that involve the surveillance of people listening at certain times? >> and then he goes, yes, thank you so much for asking that. that was a crazy question. i didn't know where that was coming from. coincidentally, i have an answer. it was when kim jong-il died and they were crying on the senlt. you were going how were the actual tears hitting the cement. these dictators end up confirming exactly what they are trying to disprove which is -- >> coercion. >> i am answering questions that i wrote for myself and i look like a total -- >> well, you almost made it through without an edit. at this point isn't he using it to troll obama. >> absolutely.

oh, i got the translation. when edward snowden is in exile in russia, did he somehow confuse the kremlin cinderella's c castle and he thinks he's in the magicsecrets. >> he never thought of doing that with our government. joanne do you think he's working for russia. please speculate wildly. >> okay. so after a while of speculation i'm going to go with yes because of all the people to ask him questions, they got a camera right on him and like he knows exactly what he's going to say and he's right there so that's definitely -- he's pintutin's puppet which would also be a great name of a russia show. we know that isn't true because

at the g 20 summit they bugged all the goody bags. that is the worst thing you can do. mass surveillance in goody bags. you'll never trust again. >> say, snowden, you are spy, i am spy. we're speaking the language of the communication that is going on at this point. >> the language of love between them. >> andy going ahead to defend your hero snowden. >> i'm a little confused here. greg. of course the russian government surveilles its citizens. it's called keeping them safe. we live in a dangerous world, greg. i'm all for them doing everything they can to make sure the sit zepz are pcitizens from. if they means keeping records of their fophone calls, it's a sma price to pay. >> apparently if they are spying on you, they will break into your apartment and they will

leave behind something that says to you that they were there and apparently one of the items is a sex manual on the side side table according to the guardian so i'm like leaving my doors and windows open. going baby, come on in. >> when i break in, i just leave a dirty protest. >> what's a dirty protest? >> oh, nothing. gavin. >> what do you make of the selfies. >> what's with their teeth. >> wai was shocked by their tee. >> is that a doctored photograph. >> i need to give them some lessons on the selfie. >> that is a little farther away and up more. >> men actually want the things closest to the kanl camera to a what they do in real life irk that's what we learned from wiener. >> i hope they get so

self-observed and they end up doing -- clearly with -- come on, he's had some work. >> he does but he looks beautiful, though. >> andy, you're pursing your lives. >> they do look like girlfriends in that photo. you can't look like a man while you're taking a selfie. you look like a giddy school girl. you're saying i'm attractive and god provided men with skr-- tha was a little ticket going by don't ever think that you're remotely apeeling. >> it's a mushroom cap -- under water upside down alien head. >> you should never take scotos. >> i like when my scrotos get

sk soggy. >> have you had your frozen scrotoss. >> all right stop the scrotos jokes. paul, has got some gall. liberal economist likes to rail against oncoming inee quality but now he's putting his mouth where his money is. a couple of months ago, the city university of new york announced it was hiring him to serve as a distinguished professor at the study center which researches inequality. they paid him $225,000 for nine months of work. while he's living in luxury, these beavers watch in horror as their homes are destroyed.

this is terrible what they are doing to the poor beaver. you don't treat a beaver like that. back to what is his face? >> was that a flirt by the way. >> yes, it was. >> you have no idea how badly the beaver gets treated. >> i try to get past and i've failed once against. all right, dagin. all right derwood.

>> what are we talking about. >> anyway. that was agnis moorehead. dagin, crugman. amaidsing. >> that he should take that money and buy a mirror and look at it. that's the best research he's going to have on income inequality. general pat r >> he got harassed by students on the way to class. >> he definitely deserved the money that he would get because he's not like crugman. this is only a portion of what he makes by the way. i like people to make a lot of money. i wish they would. >> sometimes it misses me off with income inequality. when ceos of corporations are

making $25 million and the other guys are making $25,000 a year it's inferiorating but what are you going to do especially crugman who says that globalization is a myth. we're all going to be fine. we should outsource all of our jobs. we should give up on manufacturing and then it blew up in his face and he went, i was wrong. globalization has a dark side. and then he went, but i'm not going to say no to massive amount to money to talk about something i know nothing about. >> well, that was perceptive of you. >> yeah, thank you. >> thank you. joanne, you get paid in wine and more wine. you seem happy or at least drunk. does it matter that curgman rails against income inequality

and craarbs in huge checks. >> he needs this money. what else is he going to write about. this is part of the bigger plan people. this is all a part of the plan to help with his writing. he needs to have something to talk about so he's the subject of its paper and he gets two dwr grad assistants to do what? >> you know what it is. you has a vandike beard. >> i hope he pays them because this is a lot of work. >> isn't it ironic that the guy who came up with the idea that says that globalization is good and then changed his mind is the head of income inequality. >> that is ironic. >> andy. go ahead and defend your hero. >> my only real problem is that it is a public university. me and my fellow new york city residence have the privilege of

paying his salary. that is a privilege i would gladly give up. the real problem is that a hack like him actually has the prestige that they want to do. the fact is that he has the disturbing habit of shaping, slicing and selectively slicing numbe numbers. the person who said that was a new york times columnist in a his fair well column. by his own admission he doesn't read stuff by conservatives because they disagree him and they are in a perfect world that would make him a horrible choice for professorship but in this world it makes him a great choice. >> he makes eight times what professors make. >> he doesn't even have to treat. >> isn't that amazing. what a great job that is. he gets to drop by and chat. >> suni university clearly embarrassed because when they announced they had given him the job they didn't disclose how much money it was. it was only through freedom of

information act that they discover discovered. >> so they hired him strictly for prestige so they could have a nobel peace prize winner. >> he has a cat too. he likes to sit with his cat. >> that's a small cat. >> that's racist. >> i don't even want to know why you think that's racist. i don't know, i think -- i'm all for him making money but just don't be mad about other people making money. that's the problem. >> well, that's the irony, he got that job being mad at other people making money. >> yes, yeah. you should want everybody to make money, not just himself. i think that's the moral in today's story. >> coming up my breakfast, i ate something i found in greg jer jered's head. what happens when we ban chocolate milk. i hope we never have to find out. to find out. [ male announcer ] legalzoom has helped start over 1 million businesses.

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should they ban milk that's tan? 11 elementary schools in oregon, they have them there, gavin. ban chocolate milk from school lunches in an effort to get kids -- are you okay. >> yeah, i'm going like this because of my cold hands refresh my face. >> yes, because how many drinks did you have. >> actually, it's end of lent so after 40 days of no maker's mark, i was able to indulge today and it was splend id. >> yeah, it would have been great to wait for zero dollars. >> all right let me start over. 11 elementary schools in oregon

banned chocolate milk for school lunches -- see you're falling asleep. >> i'm not falling asleep i'm thinking about this lady and thinking what if. >> all right let's start over so 11 elementary schools in oregon. >> that's going to be edited out. >> no, i'm leaving it in. >> we all have desires. >> the makers march is open the door. >> it just helps you could have. >> coming up, 11 elementary schools -- i think i've said that now 11 times in oregon, have banned chocolate milk from school lunches in an effort to get kids to drink the healthier, crappier alternative called skim milk. it doesn't worked out that way. schools saw a 10% drop in total milk sales and children wastes b

29% more. >> their intake of calcium and protein also feel. meanwhile schools are also cutting back on chicken nuggets. we asked the chicken to comment. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> did anybody putting this show together think maybe this was

too long? hey, yeah, let's go for 40 freaking seconds. you know what, just start the story over. >> 11 elementary schools and i like chocolate milk too. it seems nowadays that the first reaction to a prod kt is either everyone needs to have it or no one should be allowed to have it. there's no middle ground anymore. chocolate milk it's so good. we can't let kids have it. it drives me nuts. >> and now like the poor children didn't have milk to wash down their dry card board pizza with. it's very try chicken tenders. it's just bossing people around trying to tell them how to eat. i'm surprised. it's oregon for petes sake. you can't get more left than that that it wasn't soil or

almond milk. >> the school banned chocolate milk is that racist. >> a little bit but you don't know why. this is unintended consequences are a rich and vibrant part of liberalist greg. it's okay because liberals hearts are in the right place and that's what really matters. do you remember the ethanol effect. government mandates a number of fuels for every time they intervene there are these unintended consequences that sit there and go, oh, we don't know -- they sound just like that. >> joanne you got most of your milk from new mothers dozing on the subway which you find -- >> oh, i thought i was being -- >> they got a neighboriickname

>> people will pay for that by the way. >> this is why -- okay. they want kids to drink more milk, chocolate milk is milk. >> yeah, well, they have everything back wards you can't even say that there's more sugar in the chocolate milk when they are pushing fruit juices that have just as much milk as then. i remember being milk monitor nb kindergarten. wheeling in the pouches. we had plastic pouches that you had to stick the straw in and milk would get everywhere. i never liked the chocolate milk because we always had it in my homes. >> they have the little knob on the side. >> it was a different time. >> it was. >> that was eight years ago. >> really what they are doing is these schools are becoming like fat camps and these things are becoming contraband once they are out of school they are going

to go nuts. >> they are going to fill the bathtub full of nest quick and they will drive in and have weird chocolate orgies. >> i grew up in the 50s and our teachers said, i don't want you dating any of the black kids, a lot of the white girls would do is just say, then i'm not dating and they cut out all black guys from -- they cut out dating in general. >> oh, i see the metaphor that people don't drink milk if they don't have chocolate milk. >> they would go what's going on with you ladies. chocolate is so delicious they don't want to get involved. >> all right, i get the metaphor. it's not a metaphor. i'm telling you what happened. >> when i was a boy -- >> they thought that black children were too delicious. >> okay. >> they were right. >> chocolate milk is awesome. regular milk is gross. >> oh, yum.

>> white milk i can't stand. i can't even look at it. i was milk monitor. >> we have a bunch of little nerds on had show. >> seriously, i was a milk monitor. >> you got a little cart and -- i hear the jealously. >> i was out back selling my mom's halcion. >> i was concerned about the calcium. >> we killed a snich while you were selling milk. >> all right. well, you know what, this is supposed to be a prochocolate milk segment and it's turned into nothing but some rantings of a mad man. >> mad men. >> i love the glass bottle filled with creamy chocolate milk. >> when you're hung over there's nothing better. >> if they had a chocolate milk

drinking contest. i would win. >> great story. we will feature that in a story in held. >> i'm sorry i'm not as drunk as you are. >> oeh, that's it. get into somebody's affliction. >> peppermint snaps is delicious. >> i think that's a girl scout cookie. and a little bit of the mint. it's very nice. >> and you have to have ovaries to drink it. >> maybe he does. look we're already losing the viewers. coming up the sea block, responsponso sponsored by ghosts. spirits of the dead that haunt our world. thanks ghosts. >> you're welcome greg. thank you for giving me a platform to talk about issues affecting the ghost community. >> what issues, ghost?

>> we're becoming an endangered species greg, we're being hunted by fat nerds with cameras. it's a war on ghosts. >> that sounds awful. hope things get better, ghost. >> but first what's mr. putin's favorite movie. angels with dirty feces? dirty ? huh, fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. everybody knows that. well, did you know bad news doesn't always travel fast? (clears throat) hi mister tompkins. todd? you're fired. well, gotta run. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more.

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the united nation's children's fund, akaunicef love them. is launching a campaign to get people not to deficcate in public. unicef more than 28 million people don't have a toilet at their schools. they introduced a mascot called mr. pool. the music video entightled take the tpoo. ♪ no matter where i go. there's no getting away. mr. poo you're on the loose. mr. poo, you're on the lose. mr. poo you're on the lose.

♪ >> wow. that is actually really, really good music. and i like it because it's a good idea getting the word out with a catchy song. >> but the poor is having toucha great time. it makes you want to -- let's do this man, let's go out. i'm putting in a vacation with you, man. >> so you're saying it's actually preaching the wrong. it's taking your poo out instead of in. >> by the way, poo is really in. there's like this $350 pair the italian made slippers. it's the poo emoge slippers. >> where is poo linked to this shoe. >> it just is. >> is it used for a specific. >> it's trendy. the poo imoge is cool, apparently. >> 50% of the population.

man are the only guys that poo. they are cutting out off the world. women don't want that. they don't even know what it is. >> they are like why am i hearing about my bubble gum process. little bubble gum squares. right after their periods. >> oh, why does that have to come up and then a bubble gum square and then they are good. >> all right gavin thank you for the biology lesson. that's what i think happened. >> a lot of things you think happen never do. >> oh, they poo? they take a crap? yeah, that happens. >> what else do they do, beat up ni ninjas. >> andy can you explain to me how this got this way. why is it in this day in age there are hundreds of millions of people without this. >> that's the thing i'm all for

respecting cultures. this is a time that i'm happy to be a culture of western civilization. the unicef coordinator says if you're silent, we're contributors. this is the if you smell something, say something. also, this video was banned in germany. they don't like the message. no, they want their poo where they want their poo. >> they are the only ones. >> can we stop smearing the germs? >> all right. joanne, is this song this year's call me, maybe. >> yeah, all the kids will be singing it as they take a dump. it's really sad. 28 million children don't have toilet facilities in their schools and then if you never used a toilet as a child you're not suddenly going want to use one as an adult. i don't understand why how

watching this video is going to make more toilets or make sanitation sanitation issues beer. >> this is an important point. this is why global warming spending is such a dangerous thing because the money should be dealing with sanitation. if you're pooing outside, the amount of disease that you can get from that has to be aft oe nomiccal. >> well, a big problem with globalism is assuming all countries are the same but it's called the tia tird world for a season. i'm not sure if mr. putin becomes the prime minister. one of the top officials over there is she'lla -- >> i would actually disagree with you but i think you're right. it's true. that's her married name. like keep your maiden name. >> by the way, despite the fact

that her name vale, we're still bleeping it. all right next topic speaking of names, his name is cocaine. a 34-year-old florida man was arrested for drug possession. the judge did a double take because his name looked fake. >> how about an edward cocaine, what? >> in fairness we thought at first this might be -- we thought -- >> what's your last name. >> my last name is cocaine. how many times have you told him to step out of the car sir, in your live. >> just about every time i get pulled over. >> all right. cocaine then went onto explain the unusual name. >> my great grand parents came over here from greese so they changed it to cocaine and that was in the 1920s. >> he was arrested for possess

agency of zanax. >> what's the real story here. >> the real story is that when it comes to someone like dude has coke in jamaica, he did have coke. he should have been arrested. they got the right guy. this guy had some zanaz on him. you need it to come down or the bed industry wouldn't cease to be. he didn't do anything wrong by having a few tabs -- >> when i fly, that means they could stop me. you have to have it in a prescription container. as far as i'm concerned l.a. is a half hour away because i go -- sir, you got to get off the plane. >> we should point out he had six pounds of zanaz.

it's not measured in pounds. >> he had a few tabs. leave him alone. >> you can't have a last name like cocaine or be a fat dope like that. your body has to go with the change. >> the worst part is that the judge starts doing a stand up routine. how many times have the cops asked you to step out of the car. >> he's talking with people who ate a babe's head. stabbed someone in the eyeballs. after a few months of that, he has got to have a few rifts. >> it was like judge leno. make a bebetter joke. >> i would rather have a funny judge than a hanging judge that's for sure. >> we know how generous they are off lunch. >> he's like oh, yeah i'm getting off of this and i'm

making the judge laugh. >> what i thought was that his public defender was nefrxt of t video saying no cocaine, coca e cocaine. >> it was the worst joke aever. that guy should be in jail. that was the lamest joke ever in the history of jokes and he finally said at the end no cocaine, cocaine. and nthen he says sorry. i want him in jail i want to point out that your name and you're mosqcking cocaine. >> i don't know how you could not smell it. it's basically -- i smelled it.

>> hey, length was 40 days of no booze can the guy have a maker's mark. >> next year we have to book gavin on the tl39th day. i know you're drinking hurt water. now you're going to have to pea by the eblock. >> time to take a break. don't leave now. there's more stuff to talk about. new york times best-seller for the fourth week. by it a local book store. i'm going to be in yorba linda saturday for the nixon library. if there's still ticket goes to g gutfeld.com. they are pretty awesome. my daughter thinks i'm out of touch. so i asked her how i saved fifteen percent on car insurance in just fifteen minutes. (laughter)

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. >> which makes us ask, is this evil? >> oh, crap, i wasn't ready. what's better than working for yahoo, not working for yahoo, apparently after only 15 months with the company, enriqeu de castro was fired from his position walking away with a severance package of $58 million. ceo marissa mayer had stolen castro away from his job at google hoping that his ad expertise would help but they didn't. it was the right decision in the end for the company. in the end, literally, technically, the package is from

a lot of yahoo stocks but does that make this any less evil. >> he only gets about a million bucks in tent. you can't even buy a tent to live in with silicon valley with a million dollars. >> i think she was using him as the fall guy. the stock is way up. that's why the thing is worth so much money because the stock has rocketed. >> what exactly does yahoo do because i don't know. >> me neither but i'm enfur y yorated by the lack of inequality but enforcing some sort of injustice is worse. >> yeah, i agree. so you have to sit at home and go -- there's nothing you can do. >> joanne, you had relationships that lasted roughly the same

amount of time. did you ever get any gifts or packages. >> i don't get gifts but i steal things. i actually stole a toaster often. >> who would you date that would have a toaster often. >> that was in college. >> he was a rich kid. >> one of those leglegacielegac. >> i think it's so great that these ceos make so much money because they have so much more stress so it's comparable. >> andy, do you think de castro will go back to google a or any job for matter. >> why would you ever work again. >> this is the time on the show that i empathize with the occupy movement. it's only obscene if you own stock in yahoo. who gives a flying flip.

>> no, i don't care because they hired him and they gave him the package. i just want to know if the tdud is single. >> i think it's genius that he managed to walk away with this much coin. >> yeah. i have had yahoo as my e-mail address for 15 years only because i don't know how to not have it. i want -- i hated -- they've destroyed it. they did a resign. you can't use yahoo. it's terrible. it's a terrible thing. it's unworkable but i can't get used of it. >> you're a jerattic woman. yo coming up, a kid in a claw machine. in the nation, reward safe driving.

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and nothing runs like a deere. that corporate trial by fire when every slacker gets his due. and yet, there's someone around the office who hasn't had a

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independent friday at 9:00 p.m. eddie will be on independence on friday. he's part of the show's seven deadly sins special. >> we were in the same segment. >> how exciting. >> i touched his neck. >> tomorrow we have camille

foster, remy spencer and sam morrow is back. he's funny. >> pretty certain those guests tomorrow will be sober. he went from awe to claw. a 3-year-old boy managed to squeeze his way into a game of a nebraska bowling alley. they retrieved him after 20 quarters. >> best fort ever. momma didn't lock the door and the kid is out the door. you're going to go and hang out with some stuffed toys. make it happen. >> yeah, make it happen. there you go. gavin what would you do if that was your child. >> lord, she didn't lock the door. i wish i married a woman south of the mason-dixon line. i like the way they say door. >> the truth about the story is kind of haunting.

>> don't missay anything disgusting. >> it is not disgusting. >> the woman had a miscarriage years ago. >> no, stop it. you are a father. you are a father. >> and it lives on snacks and smarties. >> shut up. >> and two years later -- and a few people tried to rescue it and -- >> stop it. all right. >> can you stop talking. stop talking. >> it lives. >> stop it. >> he is a wonderful human being. >> so this wasn't an accident. the kid didn't just leave when the mom wasn't looking. they have plotted -- she knows he has nimble fingers and he was going to -- she said you are going to go to the bowly alley and go to the cash register and get me the money. but he got distracted and said look at all of the toys. and she went over there and said, this is not the plan. >> it has the plexiglass and

warm lights, it is like a preemie case. >> i always believed it was a scam. why are the games so hard? >> they are not that hard. >> first of all, this is cheating. kids have no respect for the rules. second of all, what actually happened here is they were -- you didn't report this, they were trying to get him out and they kept dropping him. and then they ended up calling in jake segford, the best damn clawer you ever saw until his best friend died in a clawing accident. this was like 13 years ago. and they brought him in and he was sweating and he didn't want to do it and they finally convinced him to try it and on the first try he got the kid out. >> exactly. he had to come out -- he was live ago cro-- living across th country. he had given up drinking and didn't want to do it. >> and they said you have to let him go. >> and he said that is what happens.

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news channel. huckabee start for you right now. good night. tonight on tonight on huckabee. >> the first thing to come out of my mouth is negative. everything was bad. >> they were at rock bottom but a trip to the holy land helped these american heroes heal. >> israel gave me a little spark. then relentlessly bullied, he fought back with the help of friends and strangers. >> i just feel so special. >> standing with shay, tonight. plus on the brink of being deported to germany, a home-schooling family is now allowed to stay in america. what pressured the obama administration to let them stay. and he's just a