over it. go to our gretawire poll on gretawire.com. up next the o'reilly factor. good night from washington. tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye," are marathons just too easy. what if you had to carry a 50-pound bag of crap on your shoulders the whole time? we talk to one town who had to find out. and do they think "red eye" is the best or worst tv show of all time? >> the answer is both. >> and finally what happens when you combine two of the world's most boring sports? soccer and cycling? yep, still boring. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> not entirely true. we are doing soccer. let's welcome our guests. she is so beautiful she makes helen of troy look like a

disease-ridden peasant girl. i am here with jill dobson. >> thanks, greg. >> shut up. she is a doll and we keep her in her original packaging, joanne. there you go. and america's top depressive, andy levy. really mailing it in today. and he looks like he was grown in a mad scientist lab with a combination of corn, muscle and the american dream. i felt that. right next to me, analyst for the nfl today and co-host of "boomer and carton" weekdays on cbs sports network. i never miss it. >> a block, the lede. that's the first story. >> who is that child sitting next to boomer? oh hey, welcome back, greg. >> unnecessary. but i am a little guy. was he less than prudent when he tripped a student? a texas police officer, if there is any other kind, used any means necessary to keep high school kids from rushing

the field after a girls's soccer team won a state championship last weekend. using "red eye" shadow technology we were able to isolate him in this video. >> he won officer of the year and has been put on paid administrative leave pending an investigation and says the school district i'm sure he was just trying to keep the player safe. it was his method in which he chose to do it. that's questioned. >> at least he didn't tas them. the wimp. >> and high school games will

carry one of these. >> this is my finished taser sword. >> andy, i thought that was going to be a surprise for later. >> i don't know. boomer, you are an athlete or so you claim. we have yet to see any proof of this. what if those kids were crushed under a pile of other kids? they would blame the cops for doing something. >> certainly a little overzealous. it didn't seem like the crowd was that unruly. it didn't seem like a yankee stadium cop that had to stop somebody from running on to the field trying to accost one of the baltimore oriels a couple weeks ago. certainly over the top and no question about it. only those people there at that high school or college know who he is. they have a personal relationship with him. now they are trying to back him up in a certain way.

we here are going to tear him down. >> that's what we do here. you know, jill, as you know, celebrations after girls' soccer games can be vicious and violent. should he be punished? should he be for given for -- for given for trying too hard? >> it looks like he should be punished. it looked like he had it in for the kid in the pink shorts. >> he went after a woman too. >> not cool. answer the question. >> from what i see if i were the principal i would be calling him in for questioning. punishment. >> do you think he knew that kid and he was trying to settle some kind of score? >> i would respect him more if that were the case. i get that. he was indiscrime nant -- indiscrime nent about it. he went after a girl. paid administrative leave? that is code for vacation.

he doesn't seem like he should be cop. he has no blemishes and was cop of the year in georgetown the year before that, but have you to be punished. he could have hurt the kid. i don't mind the ones he grabbed, but you trip someone when they are running and fall and hit their chin and the next thing you know their nose goes into their brain. it happens every day. you have to think about these things. >> you mastered the art of turning an anecdote into a fact. >> it happened to me four times. >> joanne, you punch babies for no reason at all. did something come over the guy? >> this guy is a hero. have you seen the hero -- seen the movie "mall cops"? this is the equivalent. he is a school safety officer. it is not quite a cop. he is like this is my chance to show them i mean base. -- mean business. there is chaos and people are running on to the field. i need to do whatever i can to

bring order back to this school. people got angry. he saved some of those girls. >> you think that san easy job? >> of course not. >> i don't see you out there doing it. >> i don't do anything. i just gave him book. what is interesting about sports is it is the only area of employment where people can rush out on to the field. no one rushes on to our set or a spelling bee. >> we don't have any fans. if people liked us they would come rushing. >> i got caught in one of those at the university of maryland after we had beaten duke in a basketball game or north carolina one of those schools. i knew it was coming. you could sense it was coming. the school sensed it was coming. everybody just got out of the way. they let the kids go on to the court and have fun. hopefully nobody gets hurt.

this was obviously an eager overreaction to say the least. >> sometimes it is fun to see somebody get hurt. >> we can make that happen right now. >> boomer wants to hurt me. the weird thing is i like to get beaten up by large men. i usually pay $80 to $90 in the village. >> it won't be that kind of beat up. >> well, i will move on then. could he get wealthy off a selfie? the dude who was kicked by a train conductor could stand to make big bucks off his own stupidity. he posted this video last week. >> that guy kicked me in the head. i got that on film. >> it is great when somebody gets hurt. can we see it again in slow motion?

>> the video is already at over 44 trillion. now media companies want to get into business with him through advertising and licensing opportunities. he could make up to $250,000. it is what i make per show. for more let's go to our senior business correspondent. it is like a furry jenga. i don't think it is right. >> it is animal cruelty. >> is this a good message to send to kids or a a great message? you risk major life and you could make a quarter of a million dollars. >> if i was the guy on the train i would probably do the same thing.

stupid, wake up, there is a train coming behind you which is obviously why he is taking a selfie. this is the world we live in. you see the movie "jackass" and they are popular and there seems to be a way for kids to make money. i give him a 10 for ingenuity. >> i wonder if he knew that was happening. a jill, you are an entertainment reporter. is this basically replacing the entertainment we had as children, and now we watch -- >> that's a valid thought. we have actors and now we have entertainment reality stars. next it is dudes saying watch me almost die or die. either way. >> that would be a great name for the show. watch mooy almost die. >> or die. >> we could get paul mccurio to star in that. >> how many people will die now trying to do this?

that close to the train? and why? why would somebody give him money? will he do it again? >> i think he wants to go to film school. >> he has great ideas for a movie. >> he wants to make a difference. what if the foot had taken his head completely off? we would be talking about how horrible that is. >> we wouldn't have this video. it would have flown out of his hand or he wouldn't have hit record at the right time. i don't like to think about death because then i don't get to enjoy it. he should get paid. if everyone is using his video it makes sense. as a future film maker i assume he would want to reap the rewards of his efforts. i feel bad for his future girlfriend when they are like, you have all of this money, how did you make it? he is like, i was being an idiot. >> and i am dumber now. >> are they going to ask how he made it? >> probably not. >> maybe he could sue for a

concussion. >> why not? >> that's what i was going say. the good good news is he is not suing. if this was america he would be suing the train company and probably the train company would settl would make the same amount of money. the cop should get a job riding the rails. he would go around kicking and tripping people. >> shouldn't the train conductor get most of the cut? since without the foot hitting him in the face it is not possible. >> maybe the train conductor could sue the kid that put the video out there to get some of the money he gets from kicking him in the head. >> the conductor still has his job. >> and nobody knows who he is. >> you go from a tripping security guard to a kicking train conductor. >> see, that's the whole point.

>> we live in a great world. >> is the score just a bore? a new study suggests that many school children in the uk, they have them there aren't interested in winning and/or losing. according to a cricketing charity, where i get all of my research, 64% of british brats said they would be, quote, relieved and/or not bothered, end quote, if competition was removed from sports. when asked what the best part of sports was the boogers responded being with pals. also time off from lessons. some parents still care about the outcome. 25% would not want to watch their children play if there was no competition involved. you know what i would rather focus on? this. >> ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ happy birthday to you

>> everything has to do with kicking and tripping and they put that dog to sleep. >> did you hear the evil laugh at the end? i am joking. nobody put the dog to sleep. you are a horrible parent. right now doing "red eye" you left your kids in a hot car. it is a camero convertible with a nanny. i meant hot in a nice looking car. are sports meant to be competitive or something parents send their kids to so they don't have to spend time with them? >> i almost offended a lot of dance moms. i was going to say, that's dance lessons. stop writing your letters. what happens when kids enter the workplace? it is okay. we don't have to sell more cars than the other company. it is fine. no competitive spirit? how will they get ahead in life?

>> i don't know. they will become dependent on everybody else. boomer, you used to play sports, am i right? >> you are right. >> there was a fine football team you were a part of. >> a few of 24e78. a few of them. a few not so fine. >> i am trying to see where you might stand on this issue. do you think everyone should get a medal? >> normally i could say i care is -- i couldn't careless about what was happening, but winston churchill would say where we we be today. he played for the team that won the big war. back to back world war champions. here is the point, hopefully this is not happening in this country. they are our biggest ally. the last thing i want are kids who are not competitive. i want kids who can compete. my kids competed. they didn't win all of their games. there is a lesson to learn when you lose. you act a certain way and you go out and try to do better the next time while on the field of play. i don't get this. i don't know why everybody is

getting soft as of late. i could careless, but i hope it is not happening in our country. >> were you ever like writing on the front door you will never be like dad? >> no. >> they used to do that at me. i was terrible at checkers. joanne, you were miss new york. it was on a lark. you basically walked in and signed up and won. beating people who spent their entire lives -- >> it felt so good. no. i was so competitive. but my family -- you know how the family wouldn't come if it wasn't a competition. my family didn't even think i would win. they thought it wasn't a competition. they were like, sure, okay. i thinkhat's why a lot of these kids don't want it to be a competition. they don't want a winner are on loser. they are on the sidelines like junior, get your butt in there. whatever, people doing sports. they just want the love of mom and dad.

that's all. >> that's a lie. i thought you were going to say they do that because they pretend to be april thet particular because they know they can't be good at it and that is a detached response. >> it is not always sports. are you in theater, right? when you go for a part aren't you competing with somebody? >> i am competing with myself. >> how about if you are a lawyer and going into a court of law and you are going to argue a case. are you not competing? >> to your point we are breeding people who don't want to compete. >> i think it is happening oh you are all a winner and everyone gets a blue winner. >> andy, are you competitive when you are poneing12-year-olds playing ps4. >> you clearly didn't write that question. don't think this is not due to make kids feel a certain way. i don't believe the majority

of kids are competitive. they are taught to not be like this and that's where the big problem is is. 86% of the kids felt there was some moms and dads more concerned about winning than the children themselves. part of this may be a backlash to that. >> i did a monologue on the other show i do, but i thought it was a bad thing, but maybe it is a good thing. do not exert energy on things you don't like. when i stopped playing little league i started writing because i didn't like right field. >> you see this book? aren't you competing with other writers 1234* are you trying to become a success? aren't gaoing to the regan library to sell more books ? >> that's true. >> no matter where we turn in life we are competing. we are competing to get through the easy pass lane. we are competing to be the first person on the subway or make sure i got the key seat on the bus so when i get off the bus i don't have to get

stuck at the closing doors. >> you are as inure rot particular as i am. >> bottom line, if you live here in new york you have to be first. >> i have so much anxiety. >> there is nothing worse than getting in the easy pass lane by somebody who does president are have an easy pass or an out of state license and doesn't understand what easy pass means. >> i think he feels strongly about this. >> maybe it would have been better if you were not so competitive as a kid. >> anyway, speaking of competition, check out my new mug. i finished the "new york times" cross cross-word puzzle. first, will there be a friends reunion? no. i guess that theme song will be a lie. you'll be there for me, my ass.

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going to tell that story. he tosses a ball with instructions to call. the texas rangers outfielder -- how do you say that? he is not shy about hitting on women in the ball park. a tipster tells deadspin that he has a few baseballs signed with his number and before each game he throws it to a couple of attractive females. one of my friends sent this picture to her. oh my god. look at that varnished floor. it has to be parqua. speaking of fishing.

>> we should discuss that video. >> that is not a real cat. that's a stuffed cat with a fake arm. boomer, i was under the impression that pro athletes have a strict no hooking up with groupies policy. >> a-rod did this and the yankee fans turned on him because of it because it was in a playoff game in which he was not playing because he was injured. and they lost the playoff game. it is actually -- it happened more often than you know. i would do radio every morning 6:00 to 10:00 and my partner who is not an athlete who never was an athlete, he was in the band actually, he actually told women in florida

when he went down there to do radio he was the back up third base man for the phillies. he would bring a girl home from hooters and they would go into his apartment and he would show his trophies from his little league days and say look at these girls. the only reason i say it publicly is he has done it lots of times and it is a great story. guys will do whatever they can to attract the pretty gals. that's the way it is. i imagine the ladies here at the desk have probably dealt with some of the idiocy from time to time. >> jill, you are often hit on by pro athletes i'm sure during your time as a -- >> so many compliments. thank you. keep saying these things. during the day i'm at home with no make up and spit up in my hair. this is cute. i would have fallen for it if i was one of the girls. i liked the picture. >> if i were him though i would do more curls. >> he has no abs. >> i thought he looked nice. >> he must be freezing.

>> he would not be successful in the gay world. he might be able to get a woman with that belly, but, no, andy, not with you. >> this is how i met my husband when i was a fast pitch softball player. i threw one to him in the stands. >> is that true? >> no. >> i didn't believe that. joanne, you dated dan marino in the 1990s after he wrote his number on his jock strap and threw it at you. what was that like? >> it was a forgettable experience. it makes the girl you throw it to feel special. even though it is one of thousands of -- >> it is the only time he has done that. >> it is a feeling you get when he says i want to have anonymous 6 with you, bimbo. >> you should put that on a greeting card. >> at least he is not lying. at least you know who he is.

>> he may be using the girls, but the girls are using him. it is a mutual usage. >> one may get pregnant and then have won the pregnant lottery. >> when i said i would 2 for it i meant go on a date with the guy and nice dinner. >> he is looking for somebody to go to the movies with. >> would you hookup? >> all the time, all the time. but i won't get into it here. andy, you dated bjorn after he threw his sweaty sock at you. what happened then? >> i dated a sock. >> you dated a number of socks. >> he starts dating a pitcher from the dodgers, but gives jordan a baseball with his number on it. if he is single, good for him. if women want to take a chance and call a guy who threw a business ball at them with his phone number, that's on them.

i don't see anything wrong with this. >> athletes don't need any help. you already won the physique lottery. >> he is doing this because he is an athlete. >> this is going on for years and years and years and years. it is not a big phenomenon. >> who is the biggest cad? >> i don't know. >> you know. >> they swear us in these big athlete meetings. >> i know who it was. >> with a name like that. >> i don't even know who i said. >> anyway, i had three sisters. they are often the object of affections by local professional athletes. i found it distasteful as they would drive by looking for my sister and i would ask for a ride in their sports car. >> maybe it was a top lawyer in a firm.

throw a law book. here, i will throw one of these at you. i like the book and it is a nice picture, but that is a good way for you to meet chicks. >> that would have taken out a woman's eye. >> can i have the book back? >> here is the thing. you have this black and white picture of you on the front and it makes you look mean and nasty. you write your name and number in there. you hand it to somebody at the book signing, and it would work out great. >> my wife is standing next to me. >> everyone is now double checking. >> if he writes my number on there and i get crazy chicks calling. >> we have to move on. coming up, the c block. the c block is sponsored by the question mark. question mash, a punctuation mark that talks about an interrogative phrase. thanks, question mark. >> i love it when you use me, greg. >> you do?

>> yes, do it again. >> do what again? >> that's the spot. >> like that, greg. >> disgusting. >> has mcdonalds done away with giving out girls's and boys' toys?

should talk of of gender

still uh -- offend her? a connecticut high school student has been begging mcdonalds to not differ wren differentiate between girls and boys' toys. in an article for slate, a blog and not the actual stone, she describes how when she was 11 and once wrote a let torte ceo about this, more recently she and her dad, a yale professor did research and found them guilty of giving children the toy that designated for their gender. >> how dare they. >> from now on the happy meal will only come with gender neutral toys. they are genderless blobs. actually mcdonalds will not classify it as a toy at all. a sign was spotted telling employees, quote, when a customer orders a happy meal you must ask will that be a my little pony toy or sky lander toy. we will no longer call them

boy and girl toys. isn't it time to retire genders 1234* people hate being labeled. can't we call them humans? >> this is something eating at me for many, many years so i will do it right here. i hated ronald mcdonald. i was scared of him. i think a after all of these years i could have complained about ronald mcdonald and made a difference. mcdonalds should be a happy place. you go there and get a big mac and cheese burger -- make you don't, but i do. i love going there. when my kids were young i got happy meals too. it is a shame we have to go through this. if they would have had gum be and pokey as give away wheeze would not be in this situation. >> it is a horrible situation. it is ripping our country apart. should mcdonalds have caved? >> no. this is so frustrating. i was afraid of grimace. we all have our fears.

>> why, because he was from the wrong side of the track? >> he was big and purple. >> i was thinking of hamburglar. mcdonalds, no, here is the thing, these people are complaining and they are killing efficiency. when i would complain about the post office i say get the job done and get them in and out and make a them happy. instead of saying boy or girl toy you meed to memorize what the new toys are and say my little pony. they should make all boy toys and girls have to deal with it. we will learn. >> i like the way you think. >> it is like the soup place. they have four questions. do you have a soup card? do you want crackers with your soup? and then they ask if you want a brownie or a cookie. >> so many hard questions. >> i don't need another

question. that's why i am no longer going to mcdonalds for the happy meals. also i am not allowed. shouldn't teenage girls get hobbies? >> yes, they should go to ballgames. >> i need to make that link. >> that's a good idea. go to baseball and cap something. that's terrible. >> you said it. mcdonalds has other things to deal with. there are other issues. they were busy which is why they haven't done it. the hot coffee and the caution. and then they had the guy with the napkins turn it into a racist thing. >> that's right. >> now we will go to this. this is a fluff piece for us. if they are going this far it should be miss donald. >> that was my -- i was going to say they need to changing it to big mac because big is

sizist. >> it is amazing how one girl at 11 years old with the prodding of her dad it sounds like can have this impact. >> she probably has a lot of friends. >> andy, you were very supportive. you said you go girl. that's what you said. >> you said you go girl. >> i don't understand. the my little pony is a girl's toy? >> it is sexist to saw super that my little pony is for girls. >> i had a my little pony. >> you the a real one. >> if you have a pony why not pokey the pony. boys and girls should like it. >> some men like ponies. >> all they need to do is have nongender toys. they called it gylenhaal. is it jake or maggie? you don't know.

>> that is a slinky. >> can i have the happy meal and the chicken mcnuggets and the boy toy. >> he made a hard sell to save his hard shell. a british man adopted the tortoise only to find out he is suffering from an inflammation. it means inflamed turtle penis. by my math it cost a made up number. he doubled it in four days. the penis prognosis is not good and they will still amputate it which will make a difference in the turtle's ago at the 6 life. six life.

>> there is nothing more amusing. that is reptile love. >> i am upset. i am very upset. you know where i went to school? the university of maryland. we are the terrapins and you are making fun of terrapins. i fight for them every day. and that is so insulting that i can't even believe you put this up here while i am a guest on your panel. >> i didn't even know what a terrapin was. i thought it was a grateful dead album. >> i still don't know what a tear -- what a terrapin is. >> it is a snapping turtle. that's why i fight every day for tara -- terrapins. for you to show me this i am totally insulted. >> i am afraid of you. joanne, you have dates with

sad, rich men. is it a good way to pay for things? >> that's a trick question. i am not surprised by this. i don't know if it is sad or just that i am with it. people love donating money and contributing to causes that are outrageous so they can talk about it at their next cocktail party. oh i helped with the surgery of a snapping turtle. a terrapin if you will. >> crowd sourcing to pay for a house? a turtle's pea nuss, everybody willisen to you and go home talking about what a great guest you were. >> i have been given money to the university for years and years and years. i do bring that up. i am proud to give back to the school that give me so much. >> i you know on on the check you should draw a turtle penis on it. >> it is not funny.

>> andy, thoughts? you are an animal lover. >> how did he know sedgwick had a pro lapse of the croaka. >> he walked funny. >> he knows what a normal turtle penis looks like. >> he handed him a bad turtle. >> you got a lemon turtle. a lurtl e. >> we have to go. i have something exciting to tell you about. >> i didn't tell you my important thoughts on turtles turtles and their surgeries. invite me back. >> do you know about turtle surgeries? i thought i went to you. did i forget? i could have spent this time talking about it. e-mail me your thoughts and we will do it tomorrow without you.

i got new stuff. it is cool stuff. there is my book. the "new york times" best seller and aren't you glad you skipped the turtle stuff. you can get it at amazon.com. that's not all. here is joanne. that is nora our booker. those are my hoo di es. you can walk around town with my face. look at that. they are so natural. anyway, there is a hat. look at that. isn't that great? go to g gutfeld.com and you can buy this. it is real cheap too. i don't even know how much it is. this is great.

will there be more friends behind the lens? that's the topic of tonight's -- >> "red eye" debate, 2014, live from the" red eye" debate center. >> i am getting a new sign tomorrow. welcome to tonight's "red eye" debate center. i am the host of the "red eye" debate. should there be a "friends" reunion show? courtney cox seemed to leave the door open. >> it is not gonna happen. >> i guess i hear what i wanna hear. monica went on to explain how difficult her life has been since the show ended 10 years ago. >> let me tell you something. there are six friends and i have been trying to put together a cast dinner for 10 years. it doesn't happen. i can get the girls to come and maybe matthew perry and matt leblank canceled. it ain't gonna happen. >> they can't get their

friends together. >> they probably have dinners without her. >> it is a "friends" reunion without monica. that's who she was in real life. she was a monica. jill, are you our entertainment reporter. apologies for not letting you discuss your turtle. is this something america needs? >> yes, america needs this. that's right. we need real actors on our television. not guys getting kicked in the head by train conductors. we need actors, america, we need them. >> it has been a rough decade, boomer. they went out on a high note. should they come back on a higher night? note. >> i like the show. i like courtney cox. if she invited me over for dinner i would go. as far as i'm concerned i can understand. schwimmer was always on the outside. you can understand why he wouldn't want to show up. he was the butt of a lot of jokes. the others are talented and

made a lot of money. personally i would watch it. i admit i would watch it. >> it is an interesting show. it reminds me of a time you were six. people think it is a 90s show, but it ended in 2004. isn't that amazing? >> that is amazing. >> i am thankful because i got to experience and enjoy so many years. >> i love being reminded of my 90s experience. i don't think i would want a "friends" reunion. it was perfect. you have your old crush and then you see them and realize they got ugly or they got fat or whatever. not that fat is ugly, but it is not how you remembered it. i don't know if i would want the reunion. >> you are a nice person down deep, aren't you? >> was i not? you know what i mean. people get old.

>> yes, you are helping your case. >> hello? >> you are that woman. andy, you are probably devastated. >> could i be more disappointed. the fact we can't make this show happen shows that white people can't get anything done. if we can't get a "friends" reunion, we are over. >> i will say we are not getting a "friends" reunion, but we are getting an" entourage" movie? >> and "24" keeps coming back. these actors are asking for so much. they were making a million dollars an episode. they are paying the "entourage" guys in top romin. >> i want a third season ever sports night.

i have to take a break. coming up, a dating site for packers fans. bulldog: [yawning] it's finally morning!

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he stole my wallet. the next red eye burnie mcgirk and mike baker. >> e block. last story. that's the last story. >> it will help you bed a cheese head. yep, if you love wearing hats shaped like cheese, who doesn't, covering your body in paint and you are single check out green bay packers lovers.com. it is a website that allows packers backers -- i always thought that meant something else to communicate via messages and wings. it claims to be the fastest growing site on the web after horses and kitten lovers . net. is it wise to get these crazy people to date each other? >> i have a personal connection. it turns out my son guner you would think he would be a bengal fan and a jet fan, but no. he is a green bay packer fan. maybe you are not a sports fan the way some of these people

are and the way i am about some teams, but finding somebody that for six months out of the year you can enjoy something together. and you have to like brawts. >> i am like this on "project runway." >> i think this is an awesome idea. this is how i met my husband. >> that was at the opera. >> at the softball game. >> i don't believe that story either. joanne, you belong to a dating website called drunk narcissists which pairs self-lovingen enthusiasts. have you had any luck? >> i am still looking for the right one of i would be concerned that my boyfriend would love the team more than

me. that's what i worried. will he love god more than me? let's get our priority straight. >> every one of these sights have something to worry about. >> i'm kidding. i love terrapins. >> the turtles are cute, boomer. andy, you are our panel expert. we have 45 seconds. i could date somebody who disagreed with me politically and issues of religion, but never, ever, ever, ever date a new england patriot fan. eagles fans too, but at least they sort of qualify as humans. patriot fans, different species. you can't breed with them. they are with some some level of hell.

>> i can date tom brady. >> i hear music. send your hate mile-an-hour to jill dobson. joanne, the great boomer who has the book and will beat me to death with it.

hello, everyone. i'm andrea tantaros, along with greg gutfeld, eric boling, dana perino, and bob beckle. it's 5:00 in new york city and this is "the five." well, you all know what day it is today, right? it's earth day. the political media and cultural lead have been trying to stair us for -- scare us for 44 years starting with walter couldn't cite. >> cbs news, earth day, a question of survival. a unique day for our nation is