state condoleezza rice. vote in our poll. up next the o'reilly factor. good night from washington, d.c. and we will see you where? right here 7:00 p.m. tomorrow. good night.

made a surprise appearance proving that failure if it is big enough it is hilarious. >> i actually recorded an additional brief video thanking all of you for your hard work. can we run the video? >> what is going on? >> i was told this would work. does anybody know how to fix this? >> oh thank you. you got it? >> goit this. i got this. i see it all the time. >> yeah, nobody saw that coming. the white house correspondence

dinner was a chance for the president to poke fun at the media and certain orange members of the republican party. rather than revisit those moments, let's look at this. can we see that again in slow mo. and now can we see it in reverse? he is doing drugs. our president is doing drugs. let's go around the horn around what i would like to call snot gate. that's what it is. was that a code for cocaine? >> this was explained to me earlier today by one of our producers in my ear. what the president was doing was if you are on a basketball court and you don't have anywhere else you can go where

you can, i guess, get the snot out? >> yes. >> that's what you do. all of the guys understand it. it is called rocket snot. i don't know if you knew about that. >> it doesn't just happen in basketball though. >> it is not? >> no, i have seen it in church. >> on the street in front of a lady. >> i was thinking obama and basketball. >> why because he was black? >> wow. do you not know anything about off time when he is not playing golf? >> that's what white people do, andy, apparently. >> well that makes sense. >> he splits time on golf and basketball. how did that turn into a test meant on our stereo types, matthew? >> what did you make of this? >> i thought he was delivering a message to putin. i did not know about being a plight young man. i never performed the move. i like how we tweeted it with

the angles and the slow-mo and we will get to the bottom of the story somewhere. >> i don't even know if the reverse was actual looy a reverse if you know what i mean. . that second finger, andy? >> we will let the commission deal with that. >> maybe tre can get to the bottom of that. >> bottom literally. >> do i have thoughts about the white house correspondence dinner? >> the snot thing? >> first the2h#5g snot thing. >> i know like dana a producer told me earlier today because i had no idea that that is code for i need more meth. i had never heard that. >> that's interesting. let's talk about the bigger picture. it provoked laughter which is like, does that mean it is suddenly okay when you quite possibly create the worst thing that costs billions of

dollars or millions? >> hundreds of millions and billions and trillions. >> it is now on okay to laugh because time has passed. >> when they launched the site they were passing the jokes. it was obama making fun of his own staff. no one laughs at obama, certainly not obama himself. it is obama laughing at people who have disappointed. there has never been a more humor less event. >> by the wakes dana, when i was -- by the way, dana, when i was watching it i was at home on a saturday night and i came home and it was on. i was watching it a little tipsy. he was sweating a lot and he looked like he didn't want to be there followed by joel mckailey. he decided to read everything as fast as possible and get the hell out of there. it seemed like the world's worst high school assembly.

>> it is like the high school reunion that nobody wants to go to. you dread it every day leading up to it. they will announce next week what date the white house correspondence dinner will be and everybody will say, oh, i am going to hate that night. you dr. dread it. you dread it except for the two people who love it. when i say they love it, let me explain. they love it! they look forward to. it there are only two people in the whole room who love it. >> i have no idea who she is talking about. >> one is jay carney. >> president obama, he has good comedic timing. if you have professional writers you can deliver a great line. you practiced it in the white house family theater. you make sure you have your timing down. he knows. remember when he made fun of

them he will say i know you will laugh with me. maybe it was funny because it was true. >> it could have been both. >> thoughts 23r* -- >> speaking of the writer, could you imagine going to the president with everything you have written, these jokes that are making fun with him that he is supposed to be saying. here this is what i think of everything you have done. >> it is like a hit or miss. apparently i read in an article that obama wanted to edit some of the jokes to make them funnier which i don't know if -- >> remember what he said. he said he is a better speech writer than his speech writer. he is so humble. >> he really is. he has come a long way, andy. >> he has. we have to talk about joel mccale. he just wasn't good.

it wasn't just the jokes weren't good, but he was clearly reading them off a sheet of paper and there was no sense of timing or anything. the other thing is if there is a republican president make fun of the president. that's lame. make fun of the guy who is there. the biggest thing about this is there may have been a time when the white house correspondence dinner and the social media has ended that. you have grown men and women taking selfies with celebrities. -- monstrocity and they need to stop tweeting. it is the biggest naval gazing event. >> the best part are the people who climb over each other to get a picture of somebody they don't like. you see that on both sides. they will spend a year dash

--] bleep [all over each other. there he is, george clooney. it is a sweaty event. it is sweaty and clammy. a lot of preening and craning and a lot of this and then hopelessness on their face when they see somebody and that persons does president recognize -- doesn't recognize them. >> you are saying i was living my life all wrong? >> you were living your lifelike you were at the dinner this whole time. >> it is dinner for one. >> their fiesta caused unrest. they canceled the party called cinco de drinko which is clever. a picture on facebook promoting the event showed four male studenñs wearing sombreros while trying to hop a chain link fence. now i get it. said one protestor, what kind of message are you trying to send?

the school trans leer is deciding on a -- chancellor is deciding on a mandatory course. meanwhile they were not allowed to wear american flag t-shirts. finally msnbc did not miss a chance to honor the holiday. >> in the battle ofxl)lw pueblan 1862. it is also an excuse to drink tequilla on a monday morning. president obama will mark the holiday with a reception at the white house. you have to drink the whole thing and eat the worm. "morning joe" starts right now. >> that was an msnbc producer with a tequilla bottle. let's see how "red eye" producer spent cinco de mayo.y?w >> i don't know.p,dx

i had questions. that was the first time i saw the msnbc thing. i don't haveól4&q a problem with that. that to me is silly.g)úlñ if i had done that i would be fired. i would have been chased out of town. >> the musical accompaniment. i am waiting for the diversity mandatory training to be imposed on employees because clearly they are not up to the task. that was the most interesting thing about the story. clearly this group was making a fuss because they want to create a new program that since they won't have jobs other than in training diversity students it is like a program for the grievance mongers. it was an order to continue diversity. has the world gone upside

down? you can wear anything you want at school? >> they were offended because of the rhyme, drinko el cinco? is it wrong to go to axmexican restaurant and order a corona? >> maybe it was climbing the fence. >> i thought that was perfectly innocent. i don't get it. >> it was climbing -- oh. i am a little slow. >> can you not see me? >> i can't see anything. who wears contacts? do you ever have dreams that the giant contact in your had dream where are you trying to get somewhere and your contact is too beg for your head? >> i it is huge on your finger and you are going like i can't get it on to my finger. it is like a giant potato chip. i am not joking.

people at home know exactly. it is like when you have to pee and you dream of like oceans. >> no i dream there is no toilet. >> or the toilet is completely de stroit and you are running around -- de stroit stroyed and you are running around. it is the train spotting toilet and you keep running and running.ç what is amazing is something in your head tells you not to pee in your bed. >> it is your mother's=wh >> joanne, bring me back on track to a story. >> it is fascinating how the kids are so offended by these other kids hosting the party with the photo.#÷zñ it will be more offensive if the kids were dressing up as french people in berets serving bagettes. >> i didn't know that.

>> did you get this -- >> the wikipedia page ised it the mexicans had a victory. >> there you go. you are right. it is hard to believe. >> i like a girl who does her research. >> exactly. >> i paraphrase. it is amazing. >> the parallel with the research. >> i have÷ipñ a serious questio. remember the snl skits where they would have the anchors reading the teleprompter and then you would get to nicaragua and it would be really dramatic. i am afraid to do it because then i would become ostracized. can you do the snl skit today? >> if it shows up onh/h=ñ npr.

>> that's what obama does. >> he says pakistan or taliban. >> he is not making fun of them. >> isn't he in a way appropriating their language and isn't that disgusting? it is like saying margarita which i find offensive. i don't know if i talked to you about this. >> it is not bueno, greg. >> it is buena? >> look, everyone here is wrong. the school that won't let the kids wear the american flag is wrong even though the 9th circuit said they could do it. the uc davis kids were wrong for posting the picture of people in somñreros trying to climb over the fence. >> it is okay to be wrong. >> it is a prank. >> you can be stupid in school. >> i am not saying they shouldy. >> you know what they should have toz@4x do? they should have to go to

diversity class. >> there you go. ~r1zat did you say? i want to show this clip. why am i showing this? i answered this question, you idiot. why don't you watch the show instead of saying stupid things in my ear. i have enough problems. coming up. will condoleezza rice speak at rutgers or will i or will no one? when will i stop talking 1234* i don't know. wbí)my

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>> i like her. >> i see that ad and i think that was produced so well. {q looks like a bad rear. >> a bad rear? you mean bad ass? i thought you were insulting her. >> she has a lot of hobbies. and who ever does that voiceover does he work for movies? i will vote for her and get more of that. >> you can't vote for her though because she is in another county and state. >> as a millenial voter i get

confused jie. she chopped off pig testicles and she is shooting guns. what else is left to shore up the conservative base. >> these are all things that are very important when you are voting for someone. >> she served in the military. >> here is what i take from that video. can we put up the still? she is a right handed shot. you can see she is shooting with the right hand, but left eye is dominant. her left eye is open and the right eye is closed. it is an awkward way to shoot. >> the director told her that. >> i am not saying the whole thing is fake, but i am not not saying that. that's how i feel. i am kidding of course. >> you know what is great is the urnt current wave of poll -- the current wave of politicians. we have a beta male. that's an alpha female.

you have to compare that to what's his name. we are dealing with young dude when's we should have these female army vets. >> putin would not know how to deal with this person. >> she does, like the terminator. doesn't the terminator have a kind face? >> which terminator? >> it depends on which model are you talking about. >> i think that's what you need. we need more of these. they should be recruiting and out of the military. i don't know why they don't. >> they are. you look across the field and they have to get to the primary first. they do not take a position when there is a primary until that person wins the primary. am i right? >> they need more candidates that don't look

like movie villains. >> it is like dirty harry. >> dirty harry is not a villain. >> it is true. we love tre dowdy, but the hair is an issue. >> i saw harry potter. he is not a good guy. >> enough. coming up, the c block.,=ñ >> tonight's c block is sponsored by sklunk. when you need glerg and you need it now, think sklunk. thanks, sklunk. >> will youngblood make you livelonger? so those how hugh hefner does it.

have we found the portal to becoming immortal a? yes it is young people's sexy blood. that's the subject of tonight's -- >> "red eye" ... bay 2014 -- debate debate center. >> welcome. i am greg -- why did that make you laugh? >> my parents met there at casper college. >> that's funny to you? >> actually right now at the

college for the debate. >> we have a surprise for you. >> well let me just tell you. that would be a big surprise. i am not sure you know what i am talking about. >> well, i am greg gutfeld. your ticket stubs, tonight is worth 10% off your next oil change at greg's garage. car not required. according to two studies, transfusions of youngblood could reverse the aging process and cure alzheimer's disease. +÷wñ tapping into youthful veins recharges the brain and improves memory and learning. the key is a youth protein. why are you shaking your head? the discoveries were made in mice. human trials would be coming in the next few years. i don't know about you, but em excited about this. i am closing in toward 50 and

i don't look a day over 40. everything is funny to dana. we have a lot of unemployed college grads. if you charge a pretty penny it could work. >> have i to take the opposite position. i read this article and i thought we are never getting rid of the baby boomers. >> our whole society is aiming and eventually the generation comes to its own. i know exactly what will happen with these vampire transfusions is the boomers will use them to seize and control power for as long as you can. i am against it. >> it is giant factories like everybody hooked up and the rest of us happening out with

frat parties of blood. >> dana would be consider a transfusion, or would you consider giving your dog a trans fuse? >> to prolong his life? >> yes. >> no, i have not thought about that. >> that's why i am here. >> that's interesting. i was thinking of donald rumsfeld. remember the press conferences like there are knowns and unknowns but i wonder what are the unknown unknowns. there has to be a problem you only learn years from now that you say i can't believe that was a good idea. >> some things that are awesome never cause bad theption. bad things. >> that's true like the whole thing about red meat. red meat is not bad for you. but we were told it was bad for so long and people are not eating it as much as they

should be. >> and smoking. >> joanne, are you worried as a young person for now anyway you are subject to human sack craw fees -- sacrifice? >> i am terrified. it is like a michael crayton novel. they will steal young kids and harvest their blood for the elite. it is for health reasons if this were tested in humans and work, i would of course give my mother my blood so she doesn't have alzheimer's or she can get her memory back. for vanity, i get nervous. and they only tested this in mice. what if it is only mice blood? >> that is even better.izx >> what if you take on that blood and start wanting cheese. clogged arteries and have a heart attack. >> you will be good at solving mazes.twkoñ all of a sudden you are like, i know how to get out of here, guys. follow me.

then something will happen with a cat and be playful back and forthwith a cat andy. they call it vampire therapy. it puts them on the wrong foot. >> it is called baffery. she is considered the most prolific female serial killer. she bathed in their blood to keep herself young. >> the research is amazing. >> this is good news for millenials and bad news for baby boomers. >> i am not a baby boomer. >> by the time it is done for actuals h will be too late. >> this is a problem. >> your generation is screwed. >> i am upset 3w* possibly dying before they figure out how not to die. i think that is unfair.

if you are dead they should bring you back to life jie. at what age a? >> everybody. >> you come back as what a? you come back asç$&[ç 50 years old? greg gutfeld at 50 or the greg gutfeld at 98 years old. >> i am glad you think i will make it to 98.á@ x i will just silt -- sit in a bed and people feed me. >> but the point is you will be a drain on society. >> literally a drain. they spent an arm and a leg to expand that far away. fans of avril levine, she has several, 12 exact, not counting her husband, chad, paid $400 for a meet and greet after a concert in brazil. during which they were told by security not to hug or touch her. the results? these awkwardly awkward photos.

there is another one. you getóy the idea. is it the only, the only diva who uses the no touch policy when you posed with mother >> andy, $400 doesn't include the price of the ticket. that means people really loved her and they were not able to >> i don't see what the big deal is about this. >> what is the problem here. they paid $400 to get a picture with her and they got a peck tour with her. >> you get what you pay for. >> you are amr? home affirisms. >> what does that mean? >> i don't know. >> you couldjw$:ç have photoshoped. >> avril didn't need to be in the photos. it looks like one of the cardboard novels by his

novelty shops. >> if you are dumb enough to have a picture taken with someone else, then you deserve this to happen to you. >> understand -- i understand when are you a young pop star you don't want people to touch you because a lot of times they are men and creepy. but you can sense if they are you should hug them. >> if she does it for one person she has to do it to you. >> or it takes one person to ruin it. >> it takes one person who lungs and tries to kiss you and pinch your butt. jay is that what happened to you? >> i let everyone hug me. i justjhç ask certain hygenic items are done i am stretching this topic. anybody else? >> when i was at events during

my past life. >> a beautyvtt(u person. i would say $5 it goes to charity. they would say can i put my arm around you? i thought it was nice for them to ask. maybe that's because it is real famous people. you have to ask. >> and the upside is it took they are a middle class they make every six months. >> the money should be going to charity, right? >> it is going to avril levine. >> you know who her husband is, right? >> that guy. who is in that band. >> she has been in the news

lately, hasn't she? >> she really has. she was in the story a week ago. >>g@ my eyes are killing1lzo m. i feel like i have potato chips in my eyeballs. i really do. they are driving me crazy. not cool. order at amazon.com, autographed copy. look who we have here. there they are in the hoodies. you can get these at g gutfeld.com. look at that. muic)ixqv.py

>> he will assail you for drawing jenna tale yaw.

he was found guilty of drawingiñ a penis on his face. so out of deference to dana we will see popcorn instead of penis. he passed out with his shoes on and a big, magestic popcorn on his mug. he stormed up with the popcorn on his face and began punching leaving him with a broken nose. the roommate testified that it was a house rule. if you fell asleep with your shoes on you have a popcorn drawn on you. watt stone who was unaware of that rule was senáenced to a $1250 fine. can you blame him? what would you do if you woke up with popcorn on your face? >> i don't know how you read those things without laughing. isn't a prank a prank?

what has happened to these young people that we know about these things? before you would have basically hung your head in shame waited until it faded jie. this is relatively a new thing. i never had -- i think this is one of those pranks that accompanied the rise of cell phones. people weren't writing on their faces like 15 years ago. it started in evening land. it started in england. >> this story is sad for me in a lot of ways. >> sad you are on the show talking about it. >> beginning with that one. the truth is i am the same age as this -- as the assail lebt. assailant. it is pathetic he is living in a group home and getting drunk and they are not realizing he is drawing popcorn on his face. this is supposed to happen in college. 10 years ago when i was in college i was known -- or i knew of cases where this had happened.

i don't think it is that new of a a pho phenomenon, but these guys need to grow up. >> it is delayed ab -- adolescents. this happened to you many times. >> you know what is the worse? you sleep and get pillow lines. >> they last forever. >> what have you done here? >> i will say my roommate attacked me and drew a popcorn on my face. i sleep with one eye open because this has been going on for awhile. it wasn't marker. it is hands in the warm water. >> does that work? >> apparently. >> no one has done it to me because they never needed to do it./f i often volunteered and i sleep with one eye open, but that is a medical disorder. >> which is why you have these

>> is this why you live alone or have your cats tried this with their clumsy paws going like this and trying to draw. >> it is not really popcorn. it is a colonel. >> are you done? >> this is far, far down the list of reasons i live alone. >> i just finished all six seasons of "lost" in a month. could i have accomplished that a with somebody who wanted to talk a? no. >> did you do that? >> yes. >> was it worth it? >> i watched it before. >> yes. i wanted to see if it was just as good. >> it is like living -- reliving a relationship. >> it was possible it changed at the end. this guy who they drew on in, 2012 he was tried with assaulting a law enforcement

officer. maybe not the best guy to pull a prank on. >> or maybe he deserved it. >> they may have been a perfect drunk. leaving the party, you draw on the person. >> that is true. >> you don't get the satisfaction of waking up with popcorn on your face. >> you have to pick your battles. >> i love the fact we have come to a conclusion here. drop the pen. can't see. do you have a comment -- my nose is running. do you have a comment on the show. it is monday. do you have a video of your animal doing something 1234* i hope so. go to fox news.com/red eye. names that are hard to pronounce, ie, every name for me. fuq

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on the right? that is ambassador john bolton.

yum-yum. >> e block. last story. that's the last story. >> you -- according to a study, my favorite four words in the english language, people don't trust you if your name is hard to pronounce. this stunning news came out in february, but -- >> it's news to us. >> researchers at uc irvine are found a statement if the name associated is easy to pronounce. to the fred flinstone part of our brain signals something we can trust. but information is difficult to process is danger. foreign food like rice. dana, how much does your name matter as a spokesperson, dana perino? >> it is good to have the two sill labelle first name and the three sill labelle last

name. you don't want two and one. it is blunt. >> what if it is barak hussein obama? >> that is magic right there. >> exactly. >> i guess i kind of believe this. i paired this with a story from last week that said -- if you use your middle initial people automatically think you have more credibility and that you are -- do you not have one? >> i don't have a middle name. >> my husband doesn't either. >> and i have the worst name as a child. >> you don't have a middle name? >> i was deprived. >> we have to give her a middle name. >> it has to be tabitha. >> this is an important moment. >> the person that names -- what is her name? joe app a? joanne? they get a hoodie discount.

i'm sorry. another story i am uh -- ashamed to ask a question about. >> i have a very long name and i don't think my last name is hard to pronounce, but people have a lot of trouble and they are not usually smart. i can tell they don't trust me. >> what about you, andy levy? we know what your last name is. >> what does that mean? >> i am not saying anything jie. can we keep the camera on greg? >> what is your middle name? >> my middle name is not important. >> it is a little late for that. quickly. >> it makes sense. the did a study and!dhey showed those who were americanized made more money. >> nice coming from you

mr. levey. >> name was not changed by relatives when they came here. >> i am uncomfortable. i think a lot of things you said were problematic.

hello, everyone. i'm greg gutfeld, along with kimberly guilfoyle, bob beckle, eric bolling, and dana perino. this is "the five." with aapologies to gwen, here's where we are with ben ben. the decision to blame that video, it was a political one. each the libs admit it now. they also say the republican outrage that follows that's political too. on a liberal world you can never call they will on their scandals. when you catch them red handed, you are as bad