good night from new york. see you tomorrow night. 7:00 p.m. eastern right here "on the record." tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye." where do slow loris'. stand on obamacare? we pick up where they left off. and do they think the macarena should be done at all parties? >> that's something the president supports. >> and have miniature cup cakes turned us into a nation of losers? we look at a time when any american could get a full [bleep] cup cake. none of these stories on "red eye." >> let's welcome our guest. i never trust a man with good names. good thing she is not a man. she is a hot chick.

and she has more issues than cos mow and vogue -- cosmo and vogue combined. why bother waving? it is just bad. his eyes are sadder than the end of old yeller and the champ combined. i presumed the title of characters died. and his voice is as deep as his desires are shallow. sitting next to me, the delightful and the towering comedian dan soder. delicious. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. hey, greg, when are we going to stop playing these games and get down to business? >> all right, maybe now. let's start the show with a video. it is from a surveillance camera in bakersfield, california. a boy minding his own.

>> that was the family cat who saved that child. i want to watch it again. slow motion. you see the dog pulling at this poor child and the cat saving the child's life. the boy needed a few stitches and he made me look at itent fromly. look at it differently. i'm sorry for every cat joke i ever made. i take back all of this. >> do you know those adorable dark spots on a tabby are vest buttons. andy, do you know a sharp appearance of the cat's muzzle is known by the snippiness.

andy, what 1* purr-section like for cats? >> any join kitty twitter? >> an on-line dating service for cats called paws and click. >> andy, have you made any matches worth meo wg about? andy made a towel made of cat hair that cleans you have cat masses. how many sham meows have you made and can it clean up my messes? >> andy levy wanted to be here. since he can't be here we will go live to him at his apart meant. andy? >> so, andy, just want to apologize. i was wrong about cats. >> i think i speak on behalf of all cat owners, greg,

apology not accepted. >> like your choice of sweaters. some things never change. >> it was too in her face so they left in haste. they didn't appreciate that espn showed michael sam kissing his boyfriend after getting drafted into the nfl. >> it is being pushed in faces. >> had he been kissing his wife would you have cared? >> i would have said get a room. >> you wouldn't want to see a nicholas sparks movie and see people kiss? >> where is the camera when's that happened? >> amen. finally someone saying what i am thinking. let's see the finale. >> why does she not have the right to say what she means without being slammed? >> she feels that way and

leave it alone. >> i don't think there is any argument about that. >> expru going to leave? >> i am going to midlands. >> okay, well next coming up. >> if i went there every time i wanted to do that i would have a pile of nickels. h> she feels that way and leave it alone. >> i don't think there are any arguments about that. >> are you going to leave? >> i am going to midlands. >> that's what you can say when you have an intolerant thought from now on. >> i don't mean to judge, but i am going to midlands. >> here is the thing, dan. it is easy to laugh at them. why can we empathize with the fact that they were like uncomfortable by that? >> i think it is hilarious.

i love that she looked like a beauty pagent mom. that's all i kept hearing was her being like, you are gonna win the pageant. she looked like one of the stage moms. i don't know why she was so upset. >> she doesn't want it in her face, dan. >> you can chop that up and have so much audio. >> we live in a world where there is a natural response and it was behind the times. >> all we were missing i think was mud, a trampoline and the feathers. we could have had a good star show. >> have i some in my locker if you are interested. >> i was jumping over to get my hands over his eyes. he was obsessed with the draft. and now i don't even talk about the birds and the bees.

now i have to talk about the bees and the bees. you explain that to a 7-year-old especially something as manly as football. >> often the parents tell me to leave their front yard, but i often -- i am a roving 6 educator. i read from various books. joanne, you are are looking quite tan. >> i was shocked. you shouted you go girl when the woman left the set. >> yes. anytime i can make something that is not about me to be about me, i do it. i am all for that getting up and leaving. >> that was good. >> you are entitled to your own opinion. of course you can say if something made you uncomfortable. it says someone can do things that might make you uncomfortable. you can't argue

test test. ties test test. test test. h test test test.

test test test. >> i have seen far worse. >> boys kiss boys. >> people love each other and they kiss. >> i don't think -- >> is that a horrible lesson for a kid? >> for a southern boy, yes it is. >> it shouldn't be. >> i am having a hard time trying to get away from the banjos in the background. >> what is a banjo? >> i do have to say though, i have to say that i love this morning show. i need to find out if it is streaming on-line. i want to watch this every day. >> it is fantastic. the thing is you have to be able to talk about this. >> that's what i'm saying. >> just put a disclaimer underneath. >> warning, nontraditional coming on espn. >> nonfro decisional kiss -- nontraditional kissing? >> have you fun stories like

my aunt. it is like, oh that reminds me when the boys came home from war . you are an old soul. you are an old soul. >> that's an insult. you called her old. you never call a woman old. >> don't try to go all midland on me. >> i think we went midland here. >> shall we move on? the next topic. the new york school board president has resigned after getting caught on a hot mic calling a parent fat. i also got caught on a hot mic once, but that was mike a's fault for not locking the door. we kissed by the way. it was just for you, scotty. and it was a passionate embrace. >> i think by the end of the show you will get -- >> it has happened before. >> get it ready to go. >> rain coat was at a board meeting being streamed on line

live when he referred to a mother as a chuby wubby. they heard it at home and put the clip on youtube. >> was he talking about the lady in front of him? anyway, that's rude. he said it right in front of her. was that her? he has now quit saying my words are inappropriate and do not reflect my feeling or attitude. i will try to regain the trust and respect of the community. it is too late for that. i hope he frys for being a fat shamer. questions for the guest, dan. is this a lesson to never say bad to anybody? >> this snitching generation we live in. >> it is wrong. >> i like when politicians get

exposed. >> i will go and work on myself and i will learn to love fat girls. i will get into it and it will be a fetish. but i don't understand the apology, this apology culture we are in. i don't know. >> you are a comedian and you are supposed to hate it. >> i like when people are caught saying dumb stuff. >> that's the problem. we enjoy scotty watching people get caught, and then we realize that this could happen to us. >> and it probably has happened to every one of us. we know if we ever say anything we have black man material out there. i have a thousand dollars in my account to payoff that person. politicians are jerks. i'm sorry. find me a politician that is not a jerk and said this at any level. frankly i think michelle obama should give him a medal of honor. he called out somebody for being fat and she is going after the kids. >> there is an interesting point, andy. perhaps this could help the woman lose weight.

>> we did a story with a woman who became a hooter's waitress because of this. rule number one is always assume your mic is on. unfortunately, number two is never assume your mic is on and so it gets confusing. i love his apology. he said my words were inappropriate and do not reflect my feelings. basic he what he said is my voice does not speak for me. that was the worst apology ever. >> he should have said he was possessed. >> i was going to say that. >> thought buddies. >> exactly. that's weird. joanne, do you feel bad for him, or do you feel bad for her or bad for america? >> i feel bad for everyone. i think really he has some personal demons and disgust. he was displacing it on her. she just happened to be the

first one there and that was his go to. what is interesting is he is on a diversity and sensitivity team that was created at the school. >> people that are even on those teams talk about everybody else. >> he was trying to give an example to this school. he was the martyr in this case. he was like, i offer myself up. >> i am going to go out there and show you what they can do. i will use the term chubby-wubby. >> tele tubbies. >> i think it would be better to apologize with handfuls of twinkies. >> the fact he works diversity, we have to stop forcing people to apologize. it is getting tire so many. tiresome. >> i want you to apologize. >> i am easy. i am a pushover. have you had to establish new

limits because of this? >> what will are you going to do? are you going to send me back to my windowless room in queens. is that who you will send me back to? i am dumb. i am a dumb person. if you believe what i say, you too are dumb and i am not apologizing. coming up, what makes people look up to dan soder. find out in his latest book " height. the only reason people look up to me." >> can a cartoon make people vote? people did vote for president obama. i kid the kenyan born initter loper. interester loper.

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snark? well the weather channel, whatever that is, got soaked after tweeting a gay texas for bullying. best known for a national it gets better tweet saying the background on the app did not show his city, but instead dallas, not the show. cue the snark. he said, dear weather channel i swear i am deleting your app if you don't stop showing dallas for fort worth. and then he said, hey, snoozing weather channel, do you see anything missing now? cc yahoo! weather. the weather channel did what it did best. it snarked burns. sorry to see you go. good luck on the bullying.

hours later, the weather channel tweeted, we apologize for replying this morning. our response was inappropriate and we are taking steps to ensure it doesn't happen again. meanwhile in other news, here is a dog jumping at himself jumping at another jumping dog. >> that is quite a feet for whoever put that together. the guy was harassing the weather channel and you can even say he was bullying the weather channel. the weather channel responded with a joke. >> it just sounded like if you ever heard two snarky gay guys

argue they say that's not fort worth. oh really? good luck stoping bullying. oh i'm gonna burn you. that's all it was. no, i think the weather -- >> much like we will have to for your stereo typical impressions of gay men. >> good luck getting me to apologize. that apt gonna happen. i nailed it. i brought a little life to the panel as far as acting goes. >> i didn't know you had the chops. >> i don't. i am just stereo typical. >> i understand the side thing there. i still heard you. >> is my mic on? >> i don't think they should apologize. >> was it the councilman's tweets? was it meant to be kind of mean?

>> he was being mean. now we know what don sterling does with all of his free time. she taking up an internship at the weather channel. get the poor intern the benefit of the doubt. maybe he said good luck with the bullying. i want the twitter guy to say i am gay too. i was being honest. they say quick, move in a gay kid and see we were just trying to be nice. >> it was a bully with a jean jacket with a skull on the back and says i want to take your lunch money. >> they work at the weather channel. >> it is a cartoon in my head. >> it is a great cartoon version. i would like to hang around in your head sometime. twitter is about people talking [bleep] to each other. seems like you can't do that anymore. i don't see what the problem was there. >> i think they didn't have a choice here.

it is different when a corporation or someone else -- it is different when a comedian says something. they worry about people's reaction to it. the fact they did apologize shows they were being snarky and not sincere. they could have said we really meant it. it could have been worse. they could have tweeted good luck on ending bullying, lol. >> or the semicolon smile face. >> i hate that one. who ever came up with that one should be killed. >> you should apologize for that one. >> i apologize for saying something else. >> you tweet racist rants all the time. should we ever cave into people getting angry or say kidding, lighten up. >> i am feeling bad. they say we are taking steps to make sure it never happens again. you know it means they fired this person. why can't you just say that a? if we are being honest, let's be honest.

i mu the weather was fickle, but i never knew the weather channel could be like sassy. >> you didn't see my impression earlier? i was a very sac see weather channel. >> you were a homophobic weather channel. >> oh dude do i have a great fashion sense and wonderful choices in restaurants? >> i don't know. >> i feel like no one has a sense of humor anymore. what happened to i laid two into it and brought it back. i deserve that. that doesn't happen. everyone feels entitled. >> but then we have the two guys kissing and then there was an uproar because he said good luck to this guy. it is a double standard right now. the truth is because most weather channel are pregnant there is hormones. >> a hormonal woman and so you

have to give her a pass. >> that's the craziest conspire see -- conspiracy ever. >> that's why we say women shouldn't tweet. >> it is 124 characters. it is hell. do you know how hard it is to to do 124. >> it is actually 140. you can finish your sentences. >> if you would have said that in tweet mode i would have made you apologize. >> # apologize. >> coming up, what has justin bieber gotten himself into this time? probably a model. first, a word from our sponsor. >> got a goop that means whomping. in a hurry, try phomper-goot express. ice only as directied.

was he enraged at the batting cage? it is day 45 of -- >> the lapd or the lapd reported that justin bieber robbed a girl from her cell phone. she was hanging out with friends at the batting cage

and playing something called mini golf. uh ready coulding to tmz he and his crew got into an altercation with, quote, some guys. bieber saw a woman take out her phone and demanded she give it to him so he could delete any pics. when she said no he took it out of her purse and insulted the woman and made her daughter cry. in other bieber news, the man spent $100,000 to look like justin bieber. watch and let your eyeballs vomit. >> are you one of the boring people. >> who don't want to be beautiful. >> everyone can be beautiful. >> when you are made of plastic. >> ♪ we are plastics ♪ we are, we are ♪ fantastic ♪ if you wanna be a club >> well that was something. he gave the phone back. is this a rock bree or was he

ticked off about the phone. >> this lady has to be over the age of 40. the girl would be like, ruche into my purse, justin bieber. >> he makes $150 million. doesn't he have a possee to make sure this doesn't happen 1234* where is the paparazzi when you need them? >> there were no photos on the woman's phone. did that hurt his feelings in assisted because there were not pictures. >> that video was not real, right? that was a parody? that messed me up. >> we can discuss that if you like. >> at this point, i think he is trying to go tony cliffton and this guy can't be more. it is hilarious. as a member of the flip hair

club i don't understand -- who will finally punch this guy? >> you know what is funny we have you two and justin bieber on one side and you on the other. you are like justin bieber with the elephant disease. >> i'm a man. i'm a man. i'm not justin bieber. i'm a man. >> i am not entirely sure your impression made it better. but it was beautiful. >> you are terrible. >> plastic surgery could take care of that. >> plastic surgery with me? that would look great. >> you tried to date bieber by starting at the bottom with the jonas brothers. >> i'm working my way up. >> i like the challenge and i make it happen. although the mini golf, a real turnoff.

it takes a longtime and you pretend you are having a good time, but you are not at all. >> you know the problem with mini golf? >> as you call. it golf. >> it takes three hours. >> no, it starts out fun and then it is great. but if it goes bad by the second or third hole you are like i just want to get it over with. then you start hitting the ball harder and it makes the game longer because it banses -- it bounces to another hole. and there is a guy that always makes a joke and then there are two men kissing, scotty, right in front of you. >> and no disclaimer. >> kissing right in front of you. where am i? you were finishing a point. this is being an a-hole. ht tous not his so is that trespassing?

he didn't take the phone. >> but you are one of the official i guess leaders of the free justin movement. he was not arrested, but when he is you will lead the movement. >> my guess is the girl will drop the charges by the time she gets a new car. can we talk about the plastic surgery? >> it doesn't show him singing. >> it is not even him. they don't look like the people they are singing about. also, you know you have chosen an ethical doctor when he agrees to appear in the in music video. >> the -- that's madonna in the middle there. >> is that a girl or boy? >> a trans. >> quick question, when you had your plastic surgery thank

you find that it met your satisfaction. >> i have been happy with the results. >> does obamacare cover plastic surgery? can i put that claim a in. >> is that an elective surgery? >> i guess so if you want to get your face hacked up. >> if you don't vote he will slit your throat. he puts the suffer in sufferage. the power in denmark made a video to encourage young people to vote it may have been too subtle. >> when there is a european parrel a meanty -- parliament election there is one man you need to call. >> boat man come home. >> as a young man, boat man

forgot to vote. it was at a re-election parliament lesson. no influence on climate regulation. august subsidees and the amount of cinnamon allowed in his cinnamon bonnes. buns. he decided he would dedicate his life. so if you are not going to vote, don't try to run. don't try to hide. he will hunt you down. he will find you and he will make you vote. >> so, what do you have to do? you have to vote. >> that's the best voting cartoon i have ever seen. >> that was awesome.

>> we couldn't even show you the orgy at the beginning. >> i watched the real video. >> it was widely criticized and they removed the individual joe from facebook and youtube. one day many have looked at it more serious. and they say it looks down to young people. >> you know who we are letting run the world? people who believe in or sin wells. aliens are attacking. it was a cartoon and awesome. >> what is it with toons. with cartoons? they are not real. >> if that's the problems they have in denmark. too much cinnamon on my role, i am moving to that country. this is the same stupid parliament that said you can go to jail, but if you get

caught you have to serve the rest of your final. >> i want to commit a crime there. >> do you want to do it together. >> murder only gets maximum three years. unless it is a family member and you may just get out of it. >> i can see the point. my family. points, thoughts? >> i love cinnamon buns. gofer, that had no icing. who wants to eat a cinnamon bun without icing? i appreciate they are trying to get the kids to vote. we don't have campaigns with cartoons. this might get me to. it probably won't. >> so my tax money would go to something not that. i would vote for other ways to spend my money.

>> here is the problem, kids can't vote. >> kids like the kids. >> old souls. >> i want uncle sam, bart simpson and a kardashian, aka bruce jenner. >> i don't like any of those. >> when you combine them, the cartoon character of them, that would be hot. >> they focus on and show the or gees and they show punching women and throwing men out the window. this is donald sterling all over gren. all over again. >> what about the dolphins, andy? >> dolphins are nature's rapists. >> they were a moment away from kissing the dolphins. >> i can handle the dolphins. >> because it is a straight orgy we can't show it? >> we have to take a break. we will have more men

kissing. not cool. autographed copy. look at them. nora and joanne. you can order that at my website. i know we are out of the stock in the size you want.

remember rollerskating? that's the subject of tonight's -- >> "red eye" debate 2014, live from the" red eye" debate center. >> welcome back to the "red eye" debate center. it has been a longtime. we are live from lincoln, nebraska. as always you can mail your ticket stub from tonight's debate to the cable provider. this month it is soul man, one of my favorite movies. whatever happened to rollerskating. it was huge in the disco era.

and then there was the roller blading fad. i blame obama. what does the director of the rollerskating association international think? he tells our website, it is not a declining industry. we have 15 new skating rinks. and he is not wrong. i contend that rollerskating is alive and well. i shot this video on my way to work today.

>> this is a big crew up on our editor's part. th is about rollerskating and mott roller blading. there is a difference. i am upset they didn't listen to me. dan, rollerskating, this is the alternative to what we need in cities. rollerskating is a great way to commute. >> it is fantastic if you need to zigzag through cones or have a hilarious roll down a hill. it is called in line skating. >> scotty? >> i i don't even think they make those anymore. >> i am trying to get to the point that we think segues are the wave of the future. it is rollerskating. >> okay, michelle obama.

>> i was that couple who never rollerskate. i hate it. even now my own husband will not take me rollerskating and couples skate. >> why aren't they kissing me? >> exactly. i was the girl on the side. i am glad to see it it go. go to the grave, ba-bye. >> i was not allowed to rollerskate. my parents said it was too dangerous. they spent thousands of dollars on dance classes and so they said if you break a bone all of that money is down the drain and so i was left out of a lot of things. >> you have 30 seconds. >> i was not allowed to rollerskate because my parents thought i was too fragile. >> they didn't prepare for a time when roller disco took it hard. how could they predict it would be a fad. we thought it would be around

forever. >> it is like the prince itself. >> in global warming all of the ice skating rinks will be rollerskating rinks.

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eye" we have lou daabs and

sherrod small. >> last story. that's the last story. >> no, scotty, they will not be kissing. you can watch. >> you don't know that. >> it hasn't happened yet. >> make sure you wear your lip gloss and fresh breath. >> joe garcia has become famous for eating ear wax on c-span. >> i want to thank you and your willingness to work to make progress on this issue. making sure other surveillance authorities cannot be used in a similar way are critical priorities. >> anyway. she wants everyone to relax. my mom said to keep my fingers out of my mouth and i know why. hang nail. he said the damn hang nails

will get you every time. do you buy that? >> open and shut case. >> there is a second angle we are seeing. that's all hang nail. >> i do, but it is gross either way and i am not shaking that hand. >> i bite my fingernails and oftentimes people think i am eating my ear wax when i am. >> this is what happens when you are sequestered. there are no more million dollar barber shops. >> it is your fault he was pre deuced to eating wax. >> andy, you get chronic happening nails. hang nails. >> do you understand his pain? >> i think he is probably telling the truth. he is a congressman and congressmen never lie. you waxers with your

conspiracy near res -- theories. i think he was scratching his ear and then realized he had a hang nail. you can see he never gets the wax in his mouth. he just his teeth. >> i hate how he pushes this in my face. >> i am going to midland. >> stop hash tagging everything. >> it is like saying i don't want to get worse than it is. >> this is not a serious thing. >> i don't know how you can get much worse than that. >> didn't he eat a booger on >> she's hungry. >> they don't have a lot of good stuff in the green room. that's why they call it the green womb.

>> may have eaten seth rogen. >> tv's anally >> tv's andy levey. it is my first day back in five days. bye of bye.

>> the o'reilly factor is on. tonight: >> i didn't say she had brain damage. she had a serious health episode. >> big verbal brawl between karl rove and hillary clinton over the possible presidential candidate's health. and now bill clinton is weighing in. >> now they say she is auditioning for a part on the walking dead. >> we have a special report oncoming. >> american airlines, three hours late, taking off from los angeles. why? they didn't have a crew. >> outraged brewing over the airlines abusing their customers. a very frequent flier dennis miller will weigh in tonight. >> now, what do you ala