down all the european passport holding jihadists are going to the united states. >> you've all been great. thank you so much for being with us. as always thank you for being with us. we will see you back here soon on hannity. >> tonight on red eye. coming up on red eye, what is it like to be totally ripped and ridiculously handsome. lieu dobbs gets you in on the secret to his overwhelming success. plus what exactly did the president tell joe biden after he suggested renaming the capital the thunder dome. >> think about that for a second. >> and finally our homemade potato gun are a good idia? probably not. none of these stories on red eye tonight. >> now, let's overwhelm come our guests. she has more hang ups than my walk in closet. it is huge.

i am here with joanne with the wave. his whit is dryer than a desert but without any rays of sun shine he's a dismal fool. it's tv's andy levy. >> he tells jokes like it's his job because it is sadly, it is the comedian mr. small. >> lightning round. >> he's so cool that air conditioners turn him on for relief. sitting right next to me the lou dobbs. he changed his name to the lou dobbs. he's also author of the smash hit upheaval. >> the lead. that's the first story. hey greg the first rule of red eye is -- never mind i got nothing. just start the show. >> all right. there's a new man in town. his name harley brown. he's a biker, an ex-navy man and

he's on a rocket to somewhere crazy and awesome. harley is running for governor of idaho and he hates political correctness he claims. on wednesday during the state's gop debate the candidate was asked about the nonpc jokes to put it mildly on what he called harley-isms that he keeps on his web site. >> he posted bigots jokes on making fun of jewish and polish people. >> and bikers and irish man too. >> how is that sort of disrespect for people going to allow you to governor. >> a substantial portion of my political campaign is complaining against political correctness. they had a lot of warning on there. you might find this offensive

but i hit everybody, jews, polish people, irish, italians, religion jokes and black jokes. by the way my wife screened that and we took the real hard core distincters out so in case i get any flack from people like you, no you're mild, i can fire that back and attack my attackers. i don't like political correctness. can i say this? it sucks. it's bondage. i've about as politically correct as your proverbial toured in a punch bowl. i'm proud of it. i'm going for it. i'm going for the vote of the real people out there. not the bondage types of people who don't have a clue about picking up strangers at night and hauling them god knows where. try that for a while. >> next question. >> i love how he says just so you know my wife took out the really bad ones. that's not a good thing to say

that you actually had worse anyway there's more. >> oh, man. >> the key is getting our land back from the feds. here is my plan of attack. the three best men for the mission are myself as governor because i have a masters in raising hell, dagget from the john wayne movie true grit, here is my plan of attack. you go in there and you use spiritual warfare. everybody talks about the natural but i want to talk about the other realm we exist in. buying the evil spirit that's are behind the feds with the blood of jesus, the name of jesus, the power of the holy spirit. the word of god. take their superiority and then roll in with the tanks on the ground. >> mr. brown -- >> yes brown. the question was about taxes. >> i love the man to his right. do we have one more of this guy.

i think we do. >> mr. brown, your closing remarks. >> well this has been a great honor. thank you league of women voters and thank you public tv. thank you folks for tuning in to see us in action. let me finish that story. after god told me he was going to make me president i wint out and got the presidential seal tattooed on my shoulder. from morale went from 500 after the scale and i started a presidential campaign right there. i'm a type aa plus guy. i was living in cellar for three years i had the credibility of chicken little. the sky is falling. finally one day this bishop from africa comes over and said i am a profit and i authenticate that god told you that. i said yeah do you mind putting that in writing. >> he said sure. i got the original at home.

i was able to go up to my detractors and say nanana. okay. now, i need practice. don't want to say stuff like sorry if our bombing caused you any inconvenience. i want to work in the little league of governor. you have your choice folks. a cowboy, a crumogion, a biker and a normal guy. take your pick. i will leave it up to you. >> thank you. your closing remarks. >> okay, um -- >> what is going on? >> where is idaho. >> it's in between washington -- >> i want to go there. that is crazy. does everybody -- i like the fact that he called the other guy the normal guy and that's a problem. >> i don't think we could characterize any of them as media slick. i loved it. i mean -- not the language, of

course nor the obscene and horribly offensive jokes but i think that there may be something happening there. >> i thought this dude had no chance of winning until the camera panned out. >> that's incredible. >> do you know who the guy next to him looked like. he looked like one of grandpa's friends named jasper. he looked like the photo negative of the duck dynasty dude. >> the two other guys on the side of them. they were in suits like very clean cut. at first it looked like an snl exit. snl is going to have material. >> is fat jack cellar a bar. >> that's what i'm thinking. it has got to be a bar. but he's still living -- it's better than living in an actual sell aer at a guy named fat jack's house. >> it seemed to me like the white version of the rent is too

damn high. >> everybody has got a crazy. the probe lem is let me ask you andy. he's saying he's against political correctness. does that mean you get to say for example, joke 38 on his web site that i can't repeat. >> read it. >> no, but -- >> 38 cannot be repeated. >> can i say joke 52. >> that was the one that offends the japanese, the jews, the chinese. he said a japanese will outjewish a jew. but a chinese person will outjap even ease their jews. >> why is he doing jokes? >> he claims he used to do stand up. >> that was obviously a limerick. >> it is a little scary greg that you're trying to make sense out of this one. you're trying to rationalize it. this is why i can't vote for him though. >> well he had this one which i

thought was great. it just said god how i wished we had picked our own cotton. what does that mean? >> actually black people would probable yay gree with that. >> now he sounds ungrateful. >> i didn't even see that one. they are very original. rehab is for quitters. >> i want to be the next governor that's all i want to say. knock knock -- >> i can tell you this for many reasons i'm anxious to get to election day. i want to see how it turns out in idaho. >> he was great in the debate the way crazy people like him on the rent is too damn high or rand paul are. >> don't think i'm crazy because i'm not. anybody who begins with don't think i'm crazy has a little bit of crazy. >> he's like the actor rip torn in the dodge ball movie. >> he is. that's who he is. >> if you can dodge a wrench you

can dodge a ball. >> what an idiot. >> he has on his website only two federal issues that he cares about. one is getting rid of the debt which, okay. he has a weird way of going about that. his second one is is he wants to round up military reserve aircraft and bomb the living hell out of forest fires around the clock in 100 or 1,000 flame formations around the clock. that's his platform. >> that's insane or genius. while there's a fire -- >> can we rule out genius? >> yes, we can. it's a great country though where everybody gets a chance like this. >> what other country can you go around in a total psychopath can say give me the next ten minutes. >> in another country he would win. >> maybe. >> some country. here is another good joke why wasn't jesus born in poland.

they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. >> oh, man that's my new joke. this is my point, joke 38 is had -- it's a play on an old joke where it says why is having sex with a certaintype of person like riding a certain kind of vehicle? because they are fun but you don't do them in public. well he changes it so the mow bed is actually a human being with a drerogatory description. so he takes a joke that's already semi offensive and he makes it even worse and then he says oh, we had worse ones on there that we took down. >> what i like is he obviously has a normal married life. >> yeah. >> his wife is the ash itor of stand arts.

>> joanne, do you have any prediction there. >> you know he's going to win. he's going to do a great job and work his way up to commander in chief. he said in his opening statements, it's his goal. >> is mike bake er advising him? >> oh, yeah mike baker is behind this guy. >> that's mike baker in a very hairy suit. >> this is some kind of disinformation campaign. >> do you think mike is also fund gd him. >> i think the biggest shame though is that they had didn't have reaction thoughts to the other people while he was talking. that would have been great. that poor moderator who was trying to keep things together, you could tell she was kind of losing it. >> you know what, he would be an interesting neighbor. >> for who? >> for who. >> for fat jack. >> yeah. >> he would be an interesting -- all right. amazing. okay. normally this would be our weird

story but now this is boring compared to that story. they said nay to the ymca, let ready it's time for our latest edition of is this racist? >> hey some kid is waving at me other there. oops. >> there you go to pull back there because of the stuff down there covers that. i always wondered where we have -- do people at home go oh, look they have a little holiday reef. first grade class in fargo otherwise known as high school. joe i'm kidding. do you remember when we updated our graphics in 1987. >> who was hosting then? >> it was chip sagit. >> all right a first grade class in fargo north dakota will not be singing ymca at their talent

show after one fun sucking mom called the fun racist. they were to come to class dressed like cowboys, cops, construction workers, and then eye few leather daddies as they are called, lou. the stereo typical native-american attire bothered by the parent. she said she hoped the school could make the right choices so that all students in culture or race are singled out or like feel like their race is being stereotyped again. a little slow today. a little warn out. the school pulls it from the talent show. how is the class pet dealing with all of this turmoil?

oh, that just makes me happy all over. outside and inside. lou, you were once in the village people cover band. it was called the macho band. does this bother you that they are denying the pleasures of the ymca or children. >> i think first graders being denied their constitutional rights, privileged and entertainment joy of that song is something that shouldn't be tolerated by anybody in the country anywhere. >> lou, i will give you ashot. is this racist. >> first of all, no. >> you never hear that from me. i will say this. they are not really making fun of native-americans. they are inpersonating the village people. >> they are appropriating the village people who appropriated the indians. >> that's right. >> can i say i love it when we get into the subtle intellectual

ar arc atekture. >> exactly. you're not hurting no one. >> could you do that for me. >> i can't do it. >> joanne, the village people could never exist now this this climate right. you'd be offending everybody. >> yeah but we're missing the bigger picture here. the great injustice is the fact that our kids cannot sing this song and the ymca which provided safe housing in dangerous areas. we helped to promote physical fitness through these clubs. so if these kids were taking away the right for them to learn about this and praise this establishment with their arms, bad. i never knew which way the sc went. is it my c or your c. >> if you're looking at it

whoever. >> i was just happy that they had a black cop. >> you know he was probably corrupt. >> i know he was. >> you know what's a good point though, ymca, you used to work out at the ymca, that was the only time i was afever approach in a shower. >> arlington. i was wearing contact lens so i'm showering i can't see and i opened my guys and there was a guy in my shower and i walked right by. i credited you with actually having the guts to do that. >> they called me the lather boy for a couple of years. >> i love a story with a happy ending. >> oh, lou for the win. >> i completely agree. they would be honoring him.

if you did a play about the village people, you would dress up as the village people. >> right. >> that's what they are doing. it's a performance. it's not a halloween kuft um or anything like that. >> even halloween costumes are fine. >> yes. >> thank you. >> i learned so much. >> i think it's great that they are completely overlooking the gay thing. >> yeah nobody mentions that. >> there's a gay thing? >> no, there's not. >> lou. his overtones. >> that was considered gay, joanne to be dressed like the village people, i guess. even going to the ymca you didn't know what was going on. there was a lot of reach arounds back at the ymca. a lot of reach arounds. >> don't know what that means. >> we should probably go now. figure out what we are going to do next. coming up what is it like to be

lou dobbs. find out in lou dob's new boochblgt it's hard to be awesome but i do it everyday because they call me captain awesome. >> but first is sony planning to make a movie but edward snowden. who will play the scum. my money is on the young dude from that tv show who was also in the movie about the internet who is really skinny and weird. okay ladies, whenever you're ready. thank you. thank you. i got this. oh, no, i'll get it! let me get it. uh-uh-uh. i don't want you to pay for this. it's not happening, honey.

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built for business. they are bringing the traitor to the theater. sony pictures has acquired the rights to no place to hide. glenn greenwald's new book about edward snowden. greenwald who won a prize for helping the leaky geek make

america less safe. he has heard rumors that the cast list may include edward snowden playing himself. i came up with some better ideas. here is snowden being played by a giant green red and greenwald being played by a fish. >> meanwhile footage of snowden on a motorcycle has surfaced on line. let's take a look. that was definitely shoe horned into this segment. all right. i don't know where to start. i will just go with you, lou. are you as angry about arizona i am because i know they are making money off something that is actually harming america. that bothers me. >> yes to both. the fact is that this fellow let

me say this delicately, he's treasonous. he's a traitor. the people who are reticent to see what he is and what he's done, i don't understand them. the fact that he's a russian agent should be crystal clear to even the simplest mind. >> that's true. i believe that too. i believe he's now a russian agent. >> make the movie. we have a show on television calls the russians. >> it's called the americans. >> but it's about russia. >> but they are going to make him look like a hero, right? >> well, not necessarily. did you read the book yet. >> of course not. >> see, you're just guest meating. it turns out they kill him at the end of the flick. >> they born identity him. >> that would be fun. >> we got to see how the story plays out. i want to see the details on the story. i'm not going to read the book. want to know more about the story. >> the movie is a perfect way

for not reading the facts. >> andy are you upset that no one has asked you to play your hero snowden. >> i'm alittle hurt. i'll a big fan of patriotic films. i'm protecting our freedoms like the great edward snowden. >> he's a spy. >> based on you have a feeling in your gut that might be from the ribs you ate. >> there's a great piece that shows that the information he allowed was specifically helpful to the russians. >> edward ebstein also believes in kennedy conspiracy theories. >> by the way he has also written for about 30 years on the subject and is very knowledgeable. >> and is often wrong. >> mike. unlike me who was never wrong. i rest my case america. >> and i have absolutely no rebuttal. here is my casting though. could we put this.

i think snowden should be played from the guy from scandal. i think they kind of look alike. i think greenwald if we can put that up, he should be played by the guy from scandal because he thinks he kind of looks like him. i think they should get like an orphan black thing going. have him play both roles. it's oscar bate. i think it would be a fantastic movie. >> this is oscar bate. if this guy was a soldier this would be different. >> joanne, did you consider auditioning for this movie. you could play the stripper love interest. >> if they offer it to me, i will take it. he's going to need a russian agent because of all of this press. it depends on what angle they want to go. is snowden going to be a hero or village. >> of course hero. >> i think if he's a hero andrew garve he'lled. if you want to play it safe

jesse izenberg or justin bieber because the whole country hates him. >> i like the fact that you say that with such fortitude. you never know. i don't know. >> i have the book on my kindle. looking forward to reading it. >> go ahead. put money into the pockets of traitors. people who make your life less safe. >> do you know what i want to happen. before this movie comes out, i want america to go to russia and pull him out and by america i mean terry shafford and mike baker should get in their private underground plane. yes, underground plane and they get there. you know where i'm going with this and then bomb all the forest fires. but go pull him out. bring him back. >> he's not coming back. >> that's the thing you can't make a movie because the story isn't done yet. >> that's true. >> we need to get him so the story is done. >> they said that about the wizard of oz. >> oh -- >> all right by the way, he's not a hero. he was an under performing

adweeb. >> is he really a hero if he hasn't slowed down the spying and surveillance of say twitter, microsoft, google, yahoo, should i keep going -- >> did you say google. >> but we need more movies. >> they are next. first we have to take down the government. and then we're going to move on to these kopgs corporations that you love so much. >> not the corporations whatever you do andy not the corporations and then the banks. >> no! >> all right all coming down. andy. you're coming down. >> i'm so close to joining anonymous. >> you kind of are anonymous. what makes the perfect tweet? according to andy it is any tweet directed at him in all caps. he loves those.

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98 of -- in an interview -- wow. >> just say the pimp. >> what is the guy's name. >> who runs an escort service in las vegas knows him to like a certain womened of color. >> i've always known him to like a woman of color. to hear what he said i do believe he is a racist. >> not the pimp greg. he was such a man of substance. anyway, mazzerati, i self described former pal of sterling said he was upset when he heard the racist rant.

the pimp said he recorded all the conversations and that he's the person behind the release of every recording with sterling. also he's a pimp. so he likes women of color. >> well, you know, for a certain price. >> so you could be racist and still like women of color. >> of course. he's never had a problem with black women. he's got a problem with black men. that was never the problem. >> okay. conversely. if you could be racist while still liking women of a certain color, it stands to reason that you cannot be racist if you do not prefer women of a certain color. >> 80% of my man being racist is against another man. it has nothing to do with women of any color. >> booty is booty. even a pimp is like booty come in every color. why do this. why separate it. >> i feel bad for lou because in his talking points he wrote

booty and he beat him to it. >> this pimp dude -- it's just like the lowest people of society coming out now and this is the crew he ran around. they had this pimp mazeratti is there and you crushed his heart because you didn't think he was racist and he is. >> it's like a parking lot. it has a lot of levels, lou. >> lou, give us some of your lou wisdom here. >> can you just say booty is booty. >> booty is what? booty is booty. i can't really think clearly about booty at any point -- not at this particular moment. >> this this is the greatest day ever. >> is this somebody else's turn

yet. >> i want to spend the next ten minutes reviewing the whole case with you, lou. should he sell the team? there's a basic question. >> i mean this is sort of condescending. breaking it down to dobbs level. >> i'm sorry. i frankly would hate to see him sell the team to be honest with you because this would take away the craziest stories i've ever witnessed. i know that you were looking for a sincere answer in that and something that comes from the heart and that's where i am. >> what are your thoughts on this matter. refrain from using any racial words. >> okay. my pimp knows not to talk to the media one. he signed something. also, so i don't like blonde headed men or red headed men but does that make me a hair

colorist. do you accept them in your school system. >> oh, of course. education is for everyone. >> not everyone. >> you're pointing at me or you're pointing my t-shirt. what are you doing to me joanne. you still got to get home safe, remember that. >> i don't even know what that means. >> andy, as the only black person on the panel. >> thank you. >> what do you make of this. >> a couple of things. now we know what it takes to offend a pimp. that's good. i would say a white man can absolutely want to have sex with a black woman and still be a racist. it's legal and slave owners did it all the time. >> no, the pimp used the word. >> what are you guys talking

about? >> that hoe over there. >> it's a drink too. >> he called it a v -- whatever. >> it's a alcoholic drink that kids are drinking. it's stronger than anything you'll drink -- i'm talking. >> when did i get old? i didn't know this. >> it's hood. >> trust me on this it will get to the white community as fast as watch -- remember that i brought it up. >> what's in it. >> everything greg. the future. >> so this is replacing what bieber drinks which is a mixture of yogurt and cough syrup. >> it's the next generation of that. >> it's not yogurt. >> no, yogurt is not in it. it's called syrup and liquor. >> go pick up a pint of yogurt. >> you think john stamos is

getting high on -- >> i've seen him recently. it can't hurt at this point. poor stamos. >> all right hey look i'm old. am i supposed to know that it's not yogurt. by the way this is the segment that we submit to the awards. >> exactly. for the nickelodeon awards. >> anywhere. where are am. don't leave. we got more stuff to talk about. not cool. you can order an autographed copy. >> i believe these sweatshirts are sold out. we are reorder gd them. we sold 60 million of them for a thousand dollars each. all of the money goes to charity which is the name of my stripper girlfriend.

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now time for a new segment most people like to call him lou dobbs but i call him low dobbs. >> previously on low dobbs. good evening everybody, the tea party claim a victory after two wins in yesterday's republican primary re-elections and the democratic party's chances of taking back the house of representatives now looking bleak indeed. we begin in nebraska -- joining us now is the president of american atheist organization david till man. why in the world would atheists need a chapel. >> well atheists need a chapel for the same reason everybody else needs a chapel. >> well our next guest is

running for the governor of texas. he sued the obama administration 30 times and now he's gearing up for a new fight with the bureau of management that's trying to seize 90,000 acres of private property on the red river. joining us the attorney general of texas. a british company gave them $1.2 billion to hire workers to process applications for obamacare. there is nothing to process so their employees spend their days at their computers hitting -- well are sure there are other buttons as well but refresh. >> oh, no, he didn't. do you know where stupid ideas come from. i accidentally when i was spelling your name, i wrote lol dobbs would make a great show. >> you know that is genius defined and i can't tell you how much i appreciate it everything

you've done for me apparently. >> that's so stupid but it was an accident. hey, let's do a segment called lol dobbs. >> it really felt libelling too close to comfort at the beginning. >> all right we got to do what's the purpose tweet? 1 way to measure success is i retweet you. it's happened twice to me. how do you get noticed? that's the subject of tonight. >> red eye debate 2014 live from the red eye debate center. >> all right welcome to tonight's red eye debate i'm greg gutfeld. they say it's in the perfect tweet by using aloe rhythms they found that using retweets means you're likely to see the spike? appearing desperate because you are.

i am going to go to the guy who's been called the king of twitter. you have an army of followers. who constantly tweet at you, lou. >> wait a minute, what? >> do you do your own tweets or do you have somebody do them for you? >> i do them to be honest and fair. i don't always do the promoti promotional tweets but i do all of the opinion based tweets. >> if you have people do promotional tweets make sure something bad doesn't happen in the news that day because an intern doesn't know -- a bunch of people die. they are still writing the professional tweets and it's like 60 people are dead and it's like come to the grand opening of jay shoes. >> that's why we have five layers of editorial on twitter. >> let's go to the person who really knows twitter. joanne. do you agree with the corn el researcher's findings? do you agree with anybody? >> i mean yeah of course it's in the wording. you have 140 characters.

i think that really the point is to kind of be funny without seeming to be funny and to say something offbeat and hope that he retweets it because then it will get a ton of retweets are. >> the great thing about him is that he never retweets anything at all. >> are you being sarcastic right now. >> no. my time line never gets filled up with his tweets. >> i'm there for one reason to invade twitter and shut it down. my army will pump it out. i'm not there to do, oh, i hope i'm not offending anyone or somebody's time lines are too carved up. twitter army. you know what to do right now. go at greg. >> i turned mine off. >> door shut. no one can get in. >> did you shut it off. >> yes, i did. i will tweet out his e-mail. >> andy, you hate almost everything about twitter yet you're on there all the time. >> they love andy on twitter. >> it's true. love.

can i give an example of the worst tweets? >> sure. >> retweeting complements. easily probably the worst thing on twitter. replying to call and saying thanks instead of just relying to the person who sent it to you. >> well that's the other thing having entire conversations with someone while including someone else's twitter name in it and keeping it the whole conversation. >> i made the switch for a season. don't just say i do that all the time. >> i'm doing all of these things. >> using a whole bunch of hash tags. >> yeah. i got some bigots stuff on there. >> i don't mind the bigots stuff. i like that stuff. >> i will include you in every tweet. >> retweet andy. >> you also retweet stuff without reading it. do you realize it. >> sometimes. i got a crew who also retweet some of my stuff out there. >> joe, roofy joanne, i don't

appreciate when you retweet that. >> that means he likes you. >> i can't wait for you to get rid of gutfeld. you will retweet that. i will retweet it with a smiley face or something. >> and then you read me too, money. >> that's the one time i did retweet. >> awful. i always promote your book on twitter. >> that's true. now come on now. >> that's just retweeting compliments everybody. it's sad. that's really sad. >> i love compliment retweeting. >> that's sad. >> don't lessen to me. lol dobbs. do you have a comment on the show. remail us at fox news.com come up dirty dogs and how they kiss. ♪ foghorn sounds loudly ♪ here's a good one seattle... what did geico say to the mariner? we could save you a boatload! ♪ foghorn sounds loudly ♪

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factor" i i'll be on o'reilly factor i think coming up later today, coming up on the next "red eye" we have cary sheffield. >> you made a terrible joke in that.

i'm not going to repeat it. should you smooch your pooch? a micro biologist tested saliva of dogs in west palm beach. apparently the most disgusting spring break city in the country. they came back linked to stds pneumonia and plaque. and the nastiness doesn't stay in the dog's mouth licking the next thing, probably paris holt on. have you a yappy dog. >> my dog passed away at 50 years old >> 50? >> 15. >> i thought you still had a dog. >> i had a yorke. he passed away. . >> i won't have done this if i

knew your dog was dead. >> before i had ta dog i used to think why do people let dogs lick their mouths. it's a dog. you love it they say it's supposed to be cleaner. we're dirty people. >> a dog showing affection just evolutionary way to keep it from killing it? >> yes. >> you know, i agree with you. agree 100%. i have really no strong evolution ideas about that. i want to apologize at the same time. >> now, i'm through. >> julien, do you think dogs were around at the time of dinosaurs? which were the pets? >> oh, my god i don't know. >> you wrote the question. >> you wrote the question.

>> i'm still trying to figure out my answer. i never had a dinosaur or a dog. i don't --. i had hershey kiss sxdz that is about it. >> i carry around a little spray bottle because any kind of mouth has seen something. then, i get a buzz. >> she's a drunk, andy. it's amazing how that happens. >> the number of empty listerine bottles around her house is unbelievable. >> her breath smells great but she's a mess. >> we're running out of time. . >> i don't care. >> we've got 30 seconds >> in the last couple days cats beat kids and dogs give you stds i rest your case. >> you do rest your case. iet was a great show. a lot of it due to me. >> no. >> see you.

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you know what else i can do on my phone? place trades, get free real time quotes and teleport myself to aruba. i wish. and stay tuned for "justice with judge jeanine." hello and welcome to "justice." i'm jeanine pirro. tonight, the obama administration opens jail cells, releasi releasing inmates, many of them seasoned criminals. but first, my open. imagine a son or daughter. you raise them, you love them and protect them. they fight for us, but when