see you tomorrow night right here at 7 p.m. eastern. right now go to gretawire.com. check out my photos with president bush 41. good night tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye," behind the scenes of a secret cia training program. how the government teaches our spies to kill enemies with ping-pong balls. plus, what european countries is the vice president still having trouble locating on a map? >> britain, swee -- we den and denmark. >> has hollywood taken a step backwards with the new transformers movie? how this could affect the box office gross as the film nears the worldwide release. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> and now let's welcome our guests.

she is better than the rest. i am here with serial killer joanne -- nosuchunsky. and tv's andy levy. and he is as funny as the ending to old yeller. it is available on eye tunes and performing at the hartford funny bone. what are they thinking? and the first job as a reporter memorizing charlotte's web, sitting next to me -- >> a block. the lead, that's the first story. >> you have to sway to play. it was a reach around that tran sended politics. lawmakers in washington, d.c., capitol of the usa, put aside

differences at a ceremony in capitol hill. among the politicians able to bridge the divide harry reid and mitch mcconnell and nancy pelosi. take a look. ♪ we are the world ♪ we are the children ♪ we are the ones who make a brighter day ♪ ♪ so let's start giving >> wonderful. they were moved to sway by other songs as well. ♪ let's make it all for one ♪ and all for love >> later things picked up. ♪

>> what is going on? he looks like he is holding in a big turd. actually happened at a ceremony. the congressional gold medal. >> you know, katherine, this is what i call forced activity. no one looks like they are having any fun. is it their fault they look idiotic? >> i saw a lot of fun. i thought mitch mcconnell was making sexy eyes. >> that may have been a stroke. >> and then he looked jealous and nancy pelosi is hot and used to getting a lot of male attention. she yawns at one point because it is so old to be hit on. >> that's what i thought.

>> extremely perceptive. >> you may be seeing things. >> paul, they looked as uncomfortable as audiences at your shows. >> audiences love my shows. they react to my show the way they react to this show jie. there is no better way to honor martin luther king than to do what he loved best which is to make old white people uncomfortable and happy. >> that is true. >> and it is so forced to do these ceremonial moments. i am just -- you are right he looked like he would need therapy. show me where nancy pelosi touched you. >> he looked like he was in a hostage video and just trying to hold it together. you know what that feels like. what did you find most intriguing about this video? >> definitely the acrobatics and the stretching and the ability, the flexibility that was needed to do all of that. coordination even.

i am worried about pinched nerves and strained nerves. >> it looks like a school choir concert and he is the not having it. >> that was early in the morning before he had his first drink. you can tell boehner before 3:00 and after 3:00. boehner is a barrel of laughs after 3:00. it is probably because he likes the afternoon. does this make us look weak to our enemies? >> it is pretty obvious that impeachment for some of these people is necessary. i actually wrote -- i haven't seen white people look that uncomfortable since. i couldn't even end it because i couldn't think of anytime i have seen white people look more uncomfortable. >> he looks like he is getting a prostate exam. that's what is going on there.

>> i think this solved all of the problems in america. everything is better now. >> are those glasses magic? >> i am smart when i put them on. >> i haven't seen this many white people uncomfortable since i flashed a prius dealership. no? come up with something better, andy. >> already said i cooperate. i couldn't. >> i win that one. white people buy priuses. i can setback the civil rights movement 40 years. >> even though there was a black president it wasn't worth it. >> he would say this is worse than jim crowe. >> politicians beat the crap out of each other. you are supposed to climb up on the days and punch people in the face. except john lewis, of course.

except for him. >> was old men too boldman. gary old man has apologized to the anti-defamation league and the simon wiestenthal for his appearance in "playboy" on the huh poke craw see on political correctness. not for the "lost in space" remake he made in 1998. terrible film. old men remarks on defending mel gibson and they were viewed as anti-sametic and not inaccurate though, andy. in letters to the two groups the british actor apologized for contributing to a false stereo type and letting everyone know he is a big fan of the jews. quote, i i have an enormous personal affinity for jews and the jewish people persecuted through the age are the first to hear god's voice and surely are the chosen people. except andy levy.

he did not apologize to the gays or blacks or all the others he offended. we will get to that tomorrow. speaking of getting in trouble. i do not approve of that video. i want a letter written to me immediately telling me that poor cat is okay. i'm sure it was. you are the expert on cats and you are chief chosen person. i will go to you first. speak for your people regarding this apology. >> it was a nice effort, greg. he loves the jews and the jews are the chosen people. i will do my best to speak on his behalf at the meeting. but my guess is it is too late. the damage has been done. as i said last night he had a great career and i have been a fan of his work. he is done.

if there is one thing that will ensure you never work in hollywood again is saying the jews run hollywood. >> it really ticks you off. can't you just make a phone call and -- >> again i will speak on his behalf, but you just -- you don't say the jews run hollywood. the jews who run hollywood don't like that. >> paul, as a comedian have you ever had to apologize for a joke you deemed offensive? how about in your career? >> they should have just done a trailer where the jews are too sensitive. does he really have to say that the jews control the media? can't he imply it like the credits in every movie? >> sorry, andy. >> i don't care. >> comedians do, paul. they get a free pass. >> shouldn't we all?

comedians can make jokes. >> not anymore. i think they did -- >> i said comedians. >> when there weren't cell phones there was a lot more going on people didn't know about. in this case he is like, look, he goes over the line. the other thing in this article he said "f" the pope. nobody said anything about "f" the pope because christians have not controlled hollywood since" touched by an angel" was on. >> that's true. there was so much in there that they didn't get to that part yet. katherine, his manager said he was illustrating the absurd by being absurd which is a lot like our show. is that a fair defense? >> basically he was really upset that he couldn't say these things and people won't get mad. he needs to go to a different environment. i live in east harlem and i hear these words and a lot of other ones every time i walk

to the subway. if he wants to go where he can say what he wants then move to east harlem. problem solved. >> that's an interesting gift. he apologized to the jews. should he have apologized to everyone? >> there are many more letters to come. which is why we need for the young people coming out of college called apology writer. there is no way he wrote that on his own. he had a ghost writer. it may have been hillary clinton. very colorful. it is dumb because these apologies come out and he doesn't mean it and the people reading it are not really taking it. what is the point of this? >> it is like the old expression, first they apologize to the jews and then it goes on from there. the reason he apologiesed to the jaws is the anti-defamation league put out a steament about what he said. no other organization --

>> he also made homophobic statements too, right? >> no gay groups said anything jie. he said bill maher can say homo homophobic statements and nobody will say anything. nobody likes bill maher. >> you know who should apologize is "playboy" in that it exists and it has ceased to be arousing for the last 20 years. there is nothing titilating in "playboy." i know. >> you like to look at your great aunt naked. >> i like to going to the back of of "playboy" where they have ads with naked ladies in them because they are dirty. everybody knows what i am talking about. i like the santa cartoon. >> by the way, the hookers who are buying houses because of bill maher don't hate him. >> they hate him the most. >> they hate what they must do to get that house. don't get any ideas, joanne.

all right, please keep your poo in the loo. the denver office of the environmental protection agency is urging employees not to think outside of the toilet after reports that someone poo-luted in a hallway. like that? i do. the website government executive got uh hold of an e-mail sent to all epa staff in the area that mentioned several incidents of bathroom shaw fan gnaw begans. and there was an individual placing feces in the hallway. is that pleural? plural? isn't there a fee - feces rule? >> feci? jay they consulted with a workplace violence expert who said hallway feces is a health and safety risk. thanks, expert. what else was clogging the toilets 1234 take a look.

>> it is a bad version of shaw shank. >> i don't know what happened. he is not going out on the dates soon. katherine, can the epa protect the environment if they can't protect their own hallways from poop. >> i think it shows that global warming is a hoax. that's obvious. i wonder if these man caves are locatessed in my -- located in my apartment. we definitely have had poop in the hallway. >> sorry about that. >> an epa guy that was pretending to be a spy and we also have one of those. i think this guy, also not a spee. i think this is happening right in my building. >> paul is it possible that it was not poop, but a pile of your material? >> my material is not brown.

>> that's when you have -- >> wow, do you need writers to write the insults. >> we don't need smaller government. we need smaller colons. the epa had to hire an expert to come in and say it was a health and safety. aren't these the people they can't figure out a hallway is not a natural habitat for poop? >> it is a common problem. >> and it was placed on a china plate. >> arranged. >> it is like a message like a dead fish. we leave fees cease out. >> or when a cat brings you a mouse or bird or whatever. >> you would see poop in front of your door as a gift. >> wouldn't you all? >> they say the hallway pooper's behavior may escalate. i don't know what that could mean. >> it can only go up from here. i'm assuming smeared on the

wall. hand prints everywhere. how do we know this was human poop? it could have been dog poop and it could have been kid poop. that's why take your kid to work day, terrible idea. never happen again. >> you can tell dog poop. it is greenish. we give our dog broccoli. >> that's a sad little fact. >> it is funny how we love the stories about the epa. we just figure they are a bunch of nerds. what is happening. >> they are pooping in the hallway. >> well, i want to go to you. defend your hero. the epa hall way pooper. >> it is not all epa agents. i think it should be called the ep and poop a. i want to be the expert who you go to and then i can say it is a health and safety risk in the hallway.

i have done extensive research. >> and here is your bill for $10,000. >> it reminds me, no pun intended, where it is a crappy office and it is done as a prank. and there is no supervision. and this is our government. this is a metaphor for our government, right? >> there has got to be if there is no impeachment over this. >> it is an im-poop-ment. >> that's what i'm trying to figure out? >> i don't think they are mad. >> they are board maybe? >> as a comedian, you don't have an office to poop at. what do you do? >> do i it at the bus stop. >> friday's. >> coming up, a commercial break. during it i will be doing one handed push ups over a drifter i tied to the roof of my car. first, should biting soccer

players be banned? i say yes, but then again they are soccer players. female announcer: don't miss sleep train's 4th of july sale

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radio announcer: mattress discounters 4th of july sale ends soon. photo op? on sunday, a day of the week, orlando news reporter jackie oroszco reported on a violent crime in orange county. it was a brutal double homicide that might make you wonder why there is so much evil in this world, or you might just take a grinning picture. that's what jackie did sending out this picture via something called instagram. haven't heard of it. the caption reads, why are we

smiling in front of a crime scene? we work in the news and it is my friday, # reporter problems. indeed life is rough. another reporter problem is being forced to delete the instagram account and do the apology on twitter. oroscco works for waffl. she said the picture i posted is in poor taste. i apologize to anyone i offended. she covered a five-alarm fire and here is the report. >> fire! >> that made up for the thing falling on the cat. i got a call and the cat is doing fine. >> you are lying. >> i got a call from the owner and the cat is doing fine. the cat is actually -- >> the cat is upset. it pooped in the hallway.

>> yeah, wrap the other story into that one just to confuse me. katherine, crime scene selfies, do you support the reporter? >> i love taking pictures of my own face and post them on the internet. i think people want to see that. it is very fun. but what people want to see more is all of the deets about a crime. keith more rine son from "date line" is my celebrity crush. it lulls me to sleep. >> i should look that up. >> his voice is amazing. it is "murder" jie. it is soothing. >> kind of creepy. >> paul, you make horrific scenes at what you call comedy shows. >> should she have apologized? >> you have to take the glasses off.

you look ridiculous. >> then i can't see your strange face. >> there is a silver lining in everything and i think the person who made out on this is the murder. two hits on the car and 40 on instagram. why instagram? is there any -- an emojie for this? >> i think there was a knife. wasn't it a gunshot? >> we don't know. she was too busy posting pictures of her face. >> in her caption she said "it is my friday" a statement that you say every day. should all errors be excused on fridays because it is friday and it is the end of the week? >> most should, but not this one. in this scenario there was no need for a selfie. you are on camera. everyone knows where you are and what you are doing. you don't have to spell it out. i don't forgive her for this. i hope she still has her job.

i tried to figure that out. her twitter account still says reporter so she is reporting on something. >> that's true. she is reporting on herself, andy. is this shocking to you, andy, the way our country is going down the tubes? it is dumb. there is no other word for it. >> not problematic? >> no, this is dumb. tomorrow she will do a throw back thursday and have the victim still alive from last week. i don't get the whole delete your final account thing. on the other hand if you are that dumb -- but also "it's my friday" is going to be the new thing if something bad happens. terrorist attack? it's my friday. >> maybe she is the murderer. >> i figured this out and i don't think you should be hard on this person. we are in the middle of a

technological revolution. did i say this already? >> five years ago. >> i said it when we got coasters. we are in the middle of an amazing technological revolution. not since the industrial revolution. when the industrial revolution started there were a lot of casualties and people were getting their fingers locked in dressers and people drop their kids off to mechanical device else. >> what? >> i'm sure this happened on farms. you drowned in a silo. >> is somebody breastfeeding over it? >> you lose a finger and eye and you die. you are having the seam thing in this revolution except it is your reputation and your job and career due to tone deaf jokes or the inability to use technology effectively. does that make sense? >> and the reason why, it is our world and everyone else is living in it. that is what social meed -- media does. >> twitter has been around for

like 18 years now and social media has been around too long for it to be oh this brave new world. it is not a brave new world. >> it is another tool to increase your popularity and blow yourself up. that becomes tempting and addictive, right? >> it doesn't work for you, but i understand the point. >> to solve this problem they need to create an instagram for which you are not allowed to smile. >> that's my instagram. >> it is called the andy gram. >> what racial slur did michelle obama get away with? write it on your tv in mustard and get a free bottle of motor oil. first, a word from our sponsor. >> tonight's c block is sponsored by the t-shirt cannon. all the fun of shooting a t-shirt into a crowd and without having to put it into the cannon.

thanks t-shirt cannon.

she slurred away, but it's okay. she is an obama. speaking at an event on monday the first lady insulted the romani minority community and got a pass. she was talking about being a

working mother and uttered the word gyped. >> i tried the part-time thing, but what i realized was i got gyped on that front. >> i we need to bleep that. >> apparently the term comes from the word gypsy which is short for aroma. some compare it to saying jewed them down. sorry, andy for calling somebody an indian giver. sorry, joanne. at least she is not the only one who use the term. >> we want to make sure if you are buying health insurance on the market place you are not getting gouged and gyned by the insurance -- gyped by the insurance company. >> unbelievable. what is the solution to the romani minority? let's discuss this in "red eye"'s award-winning segment.

>> that's how we get it around the graphics department. can we do that one more time please? >> where is the lame stream media on this? if sarah palin said this people would be in the streets with peach forks. >> it is widely accepted that my grandma was part of the ethnic community. seriously. it was never confirmed probably because of bigotry like this. i'm sorry, michelle, my dead great grandma is not to blame for you working full time hours at a part-time job. your culturally insensitive language makes it seem like it was and i am looking for an apology. >> you are culturally insensitive because you are a great guy. any advice for michelle?

should she step up and take responsibility for the things she said? >> yes. they are backtracking and saying she forgot that it was a slur. you don't forget slur words. you never hear anybody go you are a stupid -- what's the word? it is on the tip of my tongue. those come to you immediately. they also tried to tie this in someway and make it an equivalence to the redskins controversy. when she was selling hoop earrings and the wandering thief has a problem. she is never going to explain this away. >> it is over, joanne. it is over. i know, some people say everyone uses this term, and it is okay. shouldn't she know better? she is a symbol, an icon. someone you should look up to. >> i used to. until now.

i didn't know where gyped came from. i definitely used it before and not using it realizing it is offensive. now that i know, i will never use it. i am not a worldly person, but she is. she has gone on a lot of vacations. the first lady should know better. my recommendation to her and my suggestion is while you are in the white house, no slapping. no slang. use the $5 words. >> which i believe is a slang term. >> it is probably of offensive to somebody. >> i mean a word with a lot of value. >> andy has a lot of those i'm sure. how offended were you when you first heard this? >> i don't do scales because that would mean assigning one number to be higher than another. i don't believe in number in

equality. in a perfect world there would be no hierarchies. all number s who have the same value. what the first lady said was highly, highly problematic. you don't say the g-word. i am not all that worried about it. they have a rich and diverse cultural history. their music is quite influential. they also have a rich and diverse history of putting curses on people. and if i were michelle obama i would apologize very, very quickly. >> isn't that the plot to -- >> eight million movies. >> that has a great ending. >> and steven king. >> all right, okay. so basically they are a stereo type and you are believing in the stereo type. >> hang on. i looked this up, the website true inter nect -- true internet facts says they were

frequently isolated and inbreeding was for their psycho genetics and it was passed to generation to generation. it is science, greg. >> talk about a backhanded compliment. they are psychic because they are inbred. >> i don't know if i would want to be inbred and psychic. i would know -- anyway, next topic, john mcinrow is dead tired of how tennis has been played. he told a british newspaper that he would get rid of the empires and the line judges. he said he would have a system where the player s who call their own lines. then things would get edgier and you can challenge it. people would get way more into it and then you would be like, this guy is a cheater. meanwhile in other sports that don't matter news, fifa,

whoever that is, has launched an investigation into the biting incident. if they get rid of the round circle there would be no biting. uruguay's suarez could face punishment by playing more soccer. it is including a ban from the rest of the world cup. the story is boring. it is the fourth time he has been accused. answer whatever you want. >> a couple things on the mac inrow front it is already fen anyone to see them in tennis shorts, but to see hissy fits and acting is nothing i want to see. >> he was not a feminist. >> there is nothing to investigate. >> they have to match the

teeth to the bite. >> it is like calling the mayor from jaws and say, no, no, it is a boating accident. not a bite. he should be suspended for the rest of the world cup. >> what do you think? >> my mom lied she said if i bit people i could never be a soccer star. let's have biting in tennis and soccer and let's get everyone free booze. let's bring artillery and tanks and whatever. it would still be boring. who is going to bite who this week? >> tha >> you can have headers and then eat the head. joanne, what am i saying? >> a lot. i would love to take a bite of an italian -- hoggie. >> he said he thought it was a sand witch, right? >> strong teeth there. it must be the water in uruguay. >> i think so. they have a lot of water there.

>> as far as mac inrow, he is looking to eliminate jobs. this is terrible. what are these lines men and umps going to do? he is looking to destroy their careers because he is bitter his is over. >> only in obama's america. you know he is a democrat. he is shrinking the job force by eliminating -- what will we replace them with? robots ? is that what you want, mcinrow? should we make more changes like introducing rabid raccoons? >> i think like in nascar when there is a caution and debris on the track, instead of having a caution you have convicted criminals. they have to run out and get the debris while the race still goes. you have people on death row and if they survive the race they are pardoned. >> i think suarez, the excuse is great.

before the world cup started there was a norwegian gambling site. it was 175-1 odds that suarez would bite somebody. they took the bet and they won. >> that is an interesting fact from people who don't care. coming up, we send a message to space. hope it is not a scream. what is that big thing? oh it is my book. amazon.com is not cool. you keep buying it. i can still afford anti-perspirant.

our cameramen are sitting down reading the paper. i am not joking. what message should we disperse to the ends of the universe? a nasa probe, my second favorite kind, is expected to leave our solar system after it finishes a study of pluto, a planet named after the disney character. most importantly it will be for alien life forms. unlike the golden record in the 1970s, the new memo for martians will be a digital one called the one earth message. and come august scientists will be seeking ideas from people around the world on what it should say. here is the "red eye" submission for what we should

sell -- tell extraterrestrials about earth. >> it is i and my queen rulers of earth. we come bearing this message. you[bleep] suck. we are the best that ever was. you cannot compete. others on this planet have tried and now they serve us. yes, here are our slaves. make flex on our command. show us your bicep. behold the awesomeness that is earth. gaze upon it in awe. a true lesson in perfection. look at it. look at it. but know this, space people. there is only one truth in the universe. >> wow. tell me when the cancer comes for you. >> i can't help it.

>> i am not talking to you after that. >> the aliens will know who you are before everyone else. you will be considered some kind of threat. what would you want to say to the aliens ? >> don't watch "red eye." >> that hurts. >> that was uncalled for. >> i think the whole thing is pretentious -- who cares? they don't care. if they are out there they will do an mp3 digital. put it in a cloud. when you go to the cloud they can ask apple why they keep screwing up my itunes library. >> i sense a lot of hostility. your hour raw is just -- your hora is just -- >> i just think it is so pretentious we will send stuff about ourselves to space. look the a us. we are peons. >> katherine, what message should we send? >> i had trouble reading this because it was so boring and written by space nerds.

they are going to be the ones writing it and they won't think we are cool at all. >> i am sensing skepticism. >> space nerds, right? >> we need space nerds. >> don't let the space nerds to talk to the aliens. >> that is a terrible brand. >> that's not putting your best foot forward. >> andy, explain why she is wrong. >> i think the astronomers and the people who deal with the universe are the ones who will send the messages. >> they can fit in the rooms with the technology and make the message go out, but they are not the kind of people that should be the face of the earth. >> if it were up to me, i have questions. i would ask what is under pherrell's hat.

where is the plane? is the plane under pherrell's hat? and this is not funny anymore. give back the damn plane. if they find hipster alien these will like the messages sent on voyager 1 and 2 better because they are on disk. >> joanne, what do you make of this? >> we are focusing on the wrong thing. we need to concentrating on accepting messages they are sending to us. the lesson to be learned is talk less listen -- and listen more. we will learn a lot. >> well done, joanne. way to wrap that up. >> at least he is reliable. he is succeeding. he is suck nie g. sucking. bulldog: ah, the dog days of summer!

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last story. that's the last story. >> did adam levine finally come clean about being a ween? "red eye" has been calling him a douche bag sense 1992. now the singer agrees. or concurs?

levine who recently apologized to every ex-girlfriend before his wedding discussed it in the issue of gq magazine which stands for goat. would it be easy to assume i am a douche bag? doesn't mean i am. he paused and then added maybe i am, i don't know. we know you are. how bad is these music? this is all of the evidence i need. ♪ i got the moves like jagr ♪ i got the moves like jagger smote. ♪ >> poor little cat. adam levine, horrible, yes or yes? >> horrible. his music -- does he have fans? i feel like it is in the background of ruby tuesday and you see the two moms -- the lunch moms on the lunch date

like i like this. this is not like all the other garbage and talking about being naughty and splitting a dessert. >> this is my saturday. >> you are by yourself, should i split a dessert with my other voice. >> you love him. >> i do. i don't love his personal. personality. i love his talent. his vocal range is great and when he performs live he doesn't have to change the key of the song which a lot of are a tieses do because it is too high. the platinum blonde hair though that is a big d-bag thing. i could maybe understand the frosted tip, but the whole thing? no. >> i am going to be -- i am with joe on this. >> i change my mind. i changed my mind. >> even the frosted hair, why is he a d-bag because he is a rock star who had a lot of sex with women? every guy in his 20s wants to do that. the only difference between him and guys in his twenties

is he has one hit. i don't think she a d-bag for being a guy who was single and now engaged and doing around and doing what guys do when they are young. >> andy, last word on adam jie. from the gq interview he said hey bro there are 7,000 paparazzi outside. maybe you can grab the ferrari and we can split. thanks, bro. tells his system about the ferrari. second use of bro. you are a douche bag. >> special thanks to joanne, paul mecurio. katherine. i'm greg gutfeld. on bullwinkle, they're named after... ...first president george rockington!

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buzz beat? >> hello, everyone i'm rudy giuliani along with bob beckel, eric bolling, dana peri a perin. it's 5:00 in new york city. this is "the five." >> president obama has tried hard to convince you he has saved our economy and put americans back network. >> things seem to be getting better. >> the economy is growing. we made the tough choices required. not just to then economy recover but to rebuild it on a new foundation. with the economy picking up speed companies say they intend toig