that'll do it. hello, everyone. i'm greg. this is "the five." >> this is a problem. i'm not interested in photo oh ops. i'm interested in solving a problem. >> i'm not interested in photo-ops, said the man about the border. apathetic to the nature of our current disorder. the man seen here, and here, and here. i'm not interested in photo-ops said the man shaking hands, more

intrigued by the gay, the bi, and the trans. the man seen here, and here, and here. i'm not interested in photo-ops says the man in retreat. there are no more pictures when the world has you weigbeat. the economy, the va, the irs on trial yet here you are, aloof and asmile. no more halos overhead, no more leaders to greet, no more athletes to hug, no bergdahls to meet. shooting pool as rome burns. at least for once that's a true photo-op. >> little dr. seuss there. you know, we've looked long and hard for pictures for photo-ops, because i wanted to find out if president obama really doesn't like getting his picture taken. we couldn't find many. except for these.

>> so, eric -- >> just a few. >> is this right up there with like read my lips, and i didn't have sex with that woman, in terms of idiocy and kind of representing a presidency? >> i'm not sure. i think he -- in the photo-op so he doesn't have to go there. drink some brewskies, playing some pool. he likes to party, hang out. he doesn't do very well when he has to go down to the border and solve a crisis, because he doesn't have any answers. he's a lame duck president and

he's doing what he does best, being lame. >> this raises a good question, dana. he didn't go to the border. is it because if he went to the border, so did the media. and you wouldn't bring all these other folks down here to see what was going on. >> what would be the problem with that? bring people down to see it? >> because it would look bad. so he went to a bar instead. >> i'm going to bend the photo-op. a presidency is a photo-op. let's go back -- i thought of one thing today. do you have the picture of ronald reagan at the brandonburg gate? a lot of thought went into this picture. mike bieber who worked for ronald reagan was considered like the guru of modern political communication. >> yeah. >> that picture was not just him giving a speech, that said this is the dividing line on good and evil. i'm the leader of the free world and i'm here to tell you that communism is going to end. that's what the -- that's that message. when president obama said he doesn't want to go to the border, fine.

but when he's not interested in photo-ops, if that's true, don't take photos of night before when you're playing pool, and you're drinking beer, because every photograph is the message. that is your communication. so he could have gone to the border and actually used it in his favor. >> bob, why is that? does he just -- is he at a point that he doesn't care at all? because the fact is, it's kind of jarring when you're shooting pool while people are going nuts miles away. >> let's go to the reagan example. in that case, that's exactly right, it was a message that was well thought-out. but you didn't see the ugly side of communism behind that wall. i think if i were advising obama, it would be, i wouldn't go either. because you would get the media down there and you would get pictures of -- they're very disturbing. frankly, right now, the democrats don't need disturbing pictures. if they thought about it carefully enough, they could have scripted it in a way to make it positive. but i don't think they know how

to do that very well. i defend him every day, and i try the best i can. but some days are longer than others and this has been a longer couple of days. >> did you like my poem? >> i thought it was well done. >> i worked on it all night. in my pajamas. >> are they flannel? >> yeah, they have footsys, and they have a little flap in case of emergencies. president obama hates small government people. so he kind of punishes them through inaction. he says, if you don't like government, why would you want me to go down there? >> i don't think he puts that much thought into it. but i think you're into something with the passive/aggressiveness with the border situation. it's like, all right, everybody's yelling for me to do something, i'm not going to do something. it's tremendously passive/aggressive. there is one photo, greg, that

he didn't like. one photo-op that he wishes he wouldn't have taken. that's with the danish prime minister. maybe michelle is really the one that didn't want to take that picture. i agree, he should have gone to the border with governor perry, or at least gone to one of the immigration processing centers, and said, even though if it would have been disingenuous, i'm going to go inside, no photos. you watch into an immigration processing center, saying, i don't need cameras, your cameras are going to be taking pictures of you coming out anyway. then he can say after seeing what i stau in there today, tell those human stories, take the moral high ground away from republicans on the issue. and because he's so interested in politics anyway, he could have blamed them and said this is a humanitarian crisis. i've been here, and removed that one attack line that they have been beating him over the head with, which is, you don't care enough to go. >> the problem is, somebody said

it, they expect him to go down there and come up with a solution. well, there's no solution that he's going to come up by going down there. the options are very few. i think he's taken the few that he's had. he's asked for congress to give money to do that. congress is pushing back. i think that's a mistake on their part. >> but the announcement this afternoon is that they're getting closer to an agreement, the leaders are. >> i think it's one of those situations that developed, like the middle east, you can try and try as hard as you want -- >> but last weekend, peggy noonan had a great line in her column, usually when you try to run out the clock, it's when you're winning. you don't try to do it when you're losing. he is the president for the next two years. the president of the united states. that's the foreign policy of the united states. there's another constituency that he could have talked to by doing a border visit. it's not the illegal immigrants, it's not conservatives, it was the government employees.

the people that work for the government who are down there doing their very best. and a visit like that from a commander in chief would have probably meant a lot to them and shown them that he's listening to them, hearing them. they say he gets briefings all the time, but really, the message is borne out by the visuals. the only visual they have for the weekend is the pool playing. >> this could be another -- maybe they think about these things. they say, we've got this going on and the irs. how long is this going to last. >> run the clock is this. >> but the clock keeps starting over. they find the next thing to run it. >> that gets a shake and it's gone. >> the irs, the va, bergdahl. our attention span is so short. the va was huge. bergdahl, it was huge. isis crisis, everything. a couple days later it's gone. a couple days down the road are we going to forget about the border when the next thing bubbles up?

if he goes to the border, he buys more news time, the news cycle lasts maybe a day or two. >> if i were him, i would go to mexico and ask the honduran president and el salvadoran president to say we're not going to do it anymore. >> or summon them to washington. >> whatever it takes. the three countries that are doing the most of -- the people are coming from there and saying, enough. it's your practices that are driving these people to leave. and you're going to have to get yourself right. or we're going to stop helping you. >> i want to get this sound on tape from senator coburn. we're spending billions of dollars of our money on all sorts of stuff for these children, to take care of them and get them back. he has an interesting message here. let's listen. >> what about the kids that are already here?52,000 of them, by the year is projected to be 80,000. we have to find a way to deal with the kids that are already here. that's mostly what the -- you

know, half of the money the president requested today goes towards the kids that are already here. >> that's the wrong approach. put them on a first class seat back to their homes. that's $8 million. first class seat, one way, to each of their homes. >> does that make sense, just $8 million as opposed to a couple of billion? >> sure. but the government has become a big fat blundering behemoth that can't figure anything out. do you really think that $4 billion is going to be appropriated in the right way to get these kids back? if pr campaigns in the central american countries, what's that going to do. t you're just wasting money on something that, frankly, greg, the president could have made a very easy fix to get these central american kids quickly deported. it would have been a very quick fix to a change in the law. but the president -- and i believe he's so incompetent because he doesn't have the

gubernatorial experience that bill clinton had, that bush had, that reagan had. governors actually have to do stuff. senators don't. he thinks like a senator. and his hope is just that the media will cover for him. as you point out these scandals, short attention span, he's thinking, maybe these will go away. >> there's a reason they left their homes, and the reason they don't want to go back. their mothers and fathers or both didn't want to see them killed. honduras is the largest number of murders in the world per capita. >> do you just send them on their own? coyotes? >> under that theory, we're going to take people from syria, we're going to take people from north korea, we're going to take people from all sorts of country, in africa. that theory is very flawed. >> what you're missing here, he doesn't want to send them back. he's not going to send them back. they're not going anywhere. and no one else is going anywhere. they will eventually assimilate into our society and everybody

will get the message, come on over, you don't have to go on back. >> why send the kids back and put them in harm's way. >> they're in harm's way now. they are in danger, these young girls, of being raped. there's a major health crisis happening. i'm not sure that they're better off. look at the footage that we're seeing. it's inhumane what's happening to these kids. >> what about the u.n.? isn't the u.n. involved in the border disputes and repatriation? why can't they fork over the dough? >> it's our money. >> laundering the money. >> can we get a refund? >> can we all get a tax deduction on our taxes if we count these kids as de pen departments. >> i see the wheels turning. >> i'll take 5,000 dependents. >> i think reuniting children when possible with their parents is the best option. that's what we try to do here in america. if a family has a problem and

has to go into foster care, there is compassion and empathy that we try to show to children. i think reuniting them with their parents and say, we understand why you were trying, it's not going to work. if you want to apply, here's the -- >> i'll tell you how far left i am. i would bring the parents to the united states. >> it's the magnet. the kids are the magnet. >> you said send them back. >> i said send them back, and in the alternative, it occurred that the alternative is to bring the families out of those dangerous places. >> i've been to south america, rio de janeiro, there's a lot of crime in rio, too. do we bring every brazilian that nts to come here, too? i'm talking about a lot of crime in the -- throughout the country of brazil. >> we shuck take them all? >> no. >> i think the blame game is getting a little bit tired. now it's thursday. i think people are sort of ready

for leaders to come up with some sort of solution. let's just not try to assign blame. but he is responsible, given that he is the president of the united states. >> i agree with that. >> he has to do something. what i would hope is he could partner with the governors because they actually are the ones that have to govern and they need the federal government's support because it's a national border. they should be able to sit down and do that. >> i think you're right. i don't think he wants to send them wack, because i think he knows he would be sending them back to their death. the texas governor has a different account and you'll hear about it next.

president obama had to sit down, a showdown sitdown with governor rick perry yesterday over the border crisis. here was the governor's reaction after the meeting. >> i don't know whether he's inept, or there's something else going on. as i've said before. but the fact is, the border's not secure. the first thing i asked him when i got onto air force one, i said, mr. president, i really want you to come and see this. i said, this is important for you to absorb, as a father, but more importantly as the president of the united states, to see the humanitarian crisis. >> house speaker boehner is mad as hell. >> this is a problem of the president's own making. he's been president for five and a half years. when's he going to take responsibility for something? >> but most importantly, the american citizens are sick and tired of all this.

the taxpayer has had it. listen to this houston mom. >> it's not right. billions of dollars borrowed from the white house to help feed and house them. well, what about the [ bleep ] kids here in our neighborhood, in our country? not just in this neighborhood, but in our country. all these kids, really? why can't they go back? i'm sorry that the parents are in poor living conditions, or surroundings or whatever's going on there, i don't care. i care what's going on right here in my own backyard, my neighborhood. am i the only one in this community that's out here that's watching the news this [ bleep ] morning? oh, my god. i feel alone right now in this. i'm very saddened by it. the. >> she's racist. because she disagrees? >> yeah, she disagrees. >> she's racist because she wants to send the kids back. >> exactly. i want to point out that civil rights activists should be looking at black neighborhoods,

and look at the large groups, the support needed when immigrants come in, ignoring that concern. why would they ignore that concern. >> dana, your thoughts? >> in listening to her, because i only read it earlier and then watching it. this is another reason i think president obama could have gone to the border, maybe not necessarily to show -- i'm not saying he should walk through a detention center, but have a meeting with the community leaders just to see and hear -- presidents do this a lot. when there's a tragedy, the president of the united states goes and he's the shoulder to cry on. and people want to know, are you listening to me? can you hear me? and that provides him some breathing room, too, when he tries to work out some sort of policy response. because i think she's representing some moms and dads down there who are frustrated and concerned, worried and scared. it's different when you live on -- in a border state than when you live in new england or the mid-atlantic coast, or

denver even. >> rick perry's fed up. john boehner's fed up. are you fed up? >> no. i would say, first of all, about rick perry, who is running for president. that was a campaign commercial he did. i checked with the break room and found he had been down to the border three times in all this. he is an overblown, loud-mouth, not very smart guy who took the president of the united states and made a photo-op for himself because he's running for president and he's going to lose. >> maybe he won that, if he got the -- >> yeah, we ran it here. that's a big surprise. >> and boehner got mad -- >> president obama played that little game, the photo-op game. >> what, little game? >> sat down with a couple of people in boston. >> little game? my point is, why is it always a game? it's always a game. even if it involves children. even if it involves taking away funds for truly american

underprivileged kids. poor kids in those communities. this is going to take away resources from them. this is an issue that is not republican or democrat. the reason that rick perry is upset because he is legitimately dealing with this every single day. he doesn't get to get on his jet and fly back to washington, d.c., and chuck beer and play pool. the republican party, every time there's a serious issue, like the debt ceiling, he backs them into the corner and tries to paint them as anti-war, anti-black, anti-kid. it's enough. it's enough. it will backfire. >> what's enough is for the republicans to start voting for some of this aid. >> you don't vote for this? you hate kids. >> after the president does all that, then he says, well, yes, it's totally screwed up on my watch, but what's your solution? you come up with a solution. at that point, you're like, you're the president of the united states, you set the foreign policy of the country. so we've got this crisis. he said he's seen it coming since october.

i think that's what they're also frustrated about. the administration said we tried to warn you about this since october. if that's true, why do they need an emergency policy -- >> somebody said governors have to deal with this day by day. has anyone heard anything that perry's come up to deal with it? >> seal the border? >> you're the president, you find a solution. >> of course, the governor's there. they're very much for stronger border enforcement. they would probably support a comprehensive bill. but they don't believe that the border enforcement's going to be there first. that's the first step. >> has anybody been able to read the bill? we kind of know what's in it. there's like 11 million people who are going to become citizens. we don't know what the border triggers are. we don't know this stuff. >> can we do this very quickly? a sergeant sent back to jail, quick round on this. 100 days behind bars. maybe president obama should

focus -- how about a photo-op there? >> completely shameful he's not spoken out on this. he's spoken about a player coming out of the closest in the nba. spoken on issues that are not serious as this. of the mexican government must be hilariously laughing. they're helping these central american countries traffic these kids over their border. and who cares? americans keep going to mexico, they keep spending their money. president obama keeps giving them aid. as long as he's checked out, why stop now. why release the marine. >> we did this discussion, and his parents said that the government was doing an enormous job trying to get him back. the mexicans are the ones that are going to get the black eye out of this. the mexicans have caused more problems with us on the border than any other country, and yet we try to pretend they're great allies. the mexican government as it now stands is an enemy of the united states. >> mexico's defense of this situation, or response to the

media, is that mexico is a nation of laws. and enforce its laws. i thought, how clever, right? >> in mexico, if they threw me in jail -- well, i was drunk. >> maybe if the marine had wandered off and his dad grew a really neat beard. >> there you go. gotcha. coming up, is the media's love affair with president obama finally over? a lot of journalists are fed up. and demanding more access to the white house. andrea has that next. [ male announcer ] identity theft ... it's one of the fastest growing crimes in america. in fact, there's a new victim of identity theft every...three...seconds. so you have to ask yourself, am i next? one weak password could be all it takes. or trusting someone you shouldn't. over 100 million consumers had their personal information stolen in recent retail store and online security breaches. you think simply checking last month's credit score

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is the media finally fed up with president obama? 38 journalism groups sent a letter to the white house demanding more access and slamming the administration's history of, quote, politically driven suppression of news. but there's certainly plenty in the mainstream media who are happy to play along and make excuses for the president's

failures, even on this immigration mess. >> there's also this immigration reform bill that's passed in the senate, dead on arrival in the house. is it a situation where you think members of congress would rather have the political issue than potential resolution? >> since the senate passed that comprehensive immigration overhaul, it's been held up in the house by your republican colleagues. >> i have seen refugees pouring over borders. god help if you're ever in need of help. and you show up and there's a bus telling you to get out. this is america. just read what we're about. just read it. >> is that why he doesn't have to go to the border, greg? because journalists are still carrying his water, and not accurately reporting the crisis? >> i don't understand. i mean, okay, what's driving me nuts here isn't them, it's the ones who are now complaining about him. those are the ones that tick me off. the people that are complaining

about obama is not answering their calls. things like that. it's like an arsonist complaining about the sirens. you know, you got him in there, you made that bed, now you've got to lie in it. if obama got caught smoking a cigarette, they would have blamed the republicans for selling him the pack. i find the whining and complaining and all of this stuff is basically because they already won. they already got him elected. >> eric, how do you feel about these 38 journalism groups? they're hitting the president, of course. the president pledged to be the most transparent in history, we know that's not true. is this a better late than never situation? >> someone said to me democracy doesn't work until the media does its job. better late than never, perhaps. >> i didn't say that. >> no, not you. the question is, though, if hillary clinton is the next

president, that they'll call her anti-woman, is that possible? and we'll do the same charade all over again? >> dana, these 38 journalism groups aren't upset because of the different scandals, they're upset because they can't get access. so it's all about them. >> the white house especially in the last probably 30 years, i guess, is the best way to put it, as technology increases and access in all of these different things, the groups get a little more professionalized, then the white house team tries to do the best they can to protect their turf. and i would try to be responsive. but i understand that the reporters have some complaints. you've heard about this for a long time. remember, the most important one to me is the one about photographers, not allowing the photographers to come in and take a picture. president obama never takes a bad picture. it would be a simple thing to allow them to come in. remember, the white house does have its own camera crew paid for by taxpayers that follows him around. it's like a dij cal camera crew, outside of the white house

photographers. i'm stuck on something that savannah guthrie said on the "today" show. she said members of congress only want an issue, they don't want a solution. and they just want to be political when it comes to immigration. and i think she was there, as a reporter at the white house at the time. the person that was most political about immigration, and ruined a comprehensive immigration reform effort was senator harry reid. they were planning to run on that issue in the 2008 election. so i think that was a little unfair to the members of congress who have been trying to work on something, it was reid that pulled that bill memorial day of 2007. >> bob, when you used to guest host on cross fire, in the year 2000, and i was one of the interns and i would bring you the coffee when you would guest host. cnn was very, very acutely covering the elian gonzalez issue. remember this picture when they took him at gun point?

the media covered this 24 hours a day, seven days a week. what if these kids were cuban? would this be very different? the media was totally on the side of giving elian gonzalez back. >> they were cuban, they didn't have to leave because the law says so. you're right about harry reid pulling that bill back. the fact is, the bill passed and it has been sat on by the republicans in the house for political reasons. bring the bill out and debate it and amend it and go to conference. they won't do it, because they want an issue. here's the problem with the white house. they were at their best during the campaign. they were very good campaigners. they've never gotten out of that mode in governing. part of that mode during the campaign, you don't let yourself be put in the position where you give them too much information. i think that's part of the problem. you have to make a distinction, and they didn't. the team came over to the white house and it's sort of that mentality. >> they're still campaigning for immigration reform.

>> probably because if they would get off their -- and do something about it, we'd be better off. why didn't the house deal with it? >> because it was a crappy bill. filled with a bunch of nonsense. the opposite of securing the border. >> you have two houses, one tries to fix the other one. maybe you should tell john boehner and get out of the bars and get back to -- >> he doesn't think congress is there to serve -- >> how funny you use that analogy, get out of the bar. >> one of those irs e-mails that lois lerner was hoping they wouldn't find. lerner's stunning admission, when we come back.

e-mails are m.i.a., but a house committee found one interesting one from the central figure in its investigation. it's from lois lerner.

she was warning her colleagues last year to be careful about what they put in e-mails. she wrote, we have had several occasions where congress has asked for e-mails, and there has been an electronic search for responses to e-mails so we need to be cautious about what we say in e-mails. she pleads the fifth and said the media is crazy to think there was abuse of rights of conservatives. today a federal judge ordered the irs to explain under oath how it lost all those e-mails and set a deadline of august 10th to respond. the hearing was part of a lawsuit by judicial watch. isn't it comforting when your paranoia is confirmed? >> you know what's hilarious, for the past how many months now we've been talking about smoking guns on this show. there are officially now more smoking guns than at the battle of gettysburg. still it's not enough to qualify

as a scandal. it was lerner's shot at the tea party saying is that biodegradable? it's directed against the conservative and matches the assumptions of the media. >> there's a little bit of bias, "the new york times" article, which they did report on, but in order to introduce the e-mail, it says, the republicans say that she said this. no, she said that. it's in the e-mail. they have to make it partisan. >> what does she say? we have to be careful what we put in e-mails? did they have the semicolon and the smile? >> the wink? >> basically, look, i don't know, as my wife said this morning on the way to the train station, she said, that woman should be in jail. i agree 100%, she should be in jail. maybe once she stops taking the fifth, we can put her behind bars. >> her lawyer today had to explain why he said one thing to

politico a month ago, that she had no -- she didn't know about having to print out records. she didn't understand the law. which cannot be true because you have to sign that document when you get your confirmation. do you think she's actually going to end up having to testify because there's so many inconsistencies? >> the federal record act is very clear. you're right, you do have to sign a thing that says you have to preserve e-mails. this has gone beyond the accessibility of reason. she should be in front of a grand jury, not a congressional hearing. it's clear to me, obviously, that there's been a scandal here. somebody played with these records. i don't believe it came from the white house, but i think lois lerner decided to cover her butt by saying this. what it said is, it's as much as her mentality as anything else, is what that was about. when i read that, i said, this woman is a schemer and found a way to cover her ass. >> it's not just the idea of

targeting conservatives, but the destruction of evidence and obstruction of justice is a very different problem. >> the first thing i thought is the obstruction of justice and the way they destroyed the evidence, or potentially destroyed it. it's a huge problem. but you know, they've been telling us, dana, there isn't a conspira conspiracy. but when you have in writing the irs chief saying, hide things, doesn't that undermine their whole argument? and if there isn't a reason to keep any secrets or if there's nothing to hide, why do you need to keep secrets? one other thing that she said is there was an internal chat that they were using, the microsoft chat. lois lerner inquired whether the chat would be able to be salvaged and reported. when someone wrote back and said, no, it's not, she wrote back, person effect. why would you respond that way if there was nothing to hide. i think she's in this position because she isn't the typical mechanical pencil cracking number-crunching kind of gal.

she has a history of trying to get republicans out of office and that's why she's in that job. >> why is it that the conservatives always think everyone's against you? let's do a segment on this. they wouldn't do it to us, they wouldn't do it to them. you've got to stop whining. >> we'll stop whining when the media does their job. they've advocated their spine. that's why we have to do it, because the fact is, she should be in jail, like you said. we are whining. we're just pretty much pissed off that these people are targeting people for their beliefs and getting away with it. >> but we're so cheerful. which is lovely. all right? we have to move ahead. the 2014 emmy nominations are in. some of us are unhappy that our favorite shows didn't make the cut. we're going to tell you which ones, and one news star got a nomination. and we'll tell you who, when "the five" returns.

i'm not much of a tv watcher, but one show i make sure not to miss is "justified" the best tv show ever. i can't get enough. apparently the idiot emmy voters didn't agree with me. nominations were handed out this morning. a lot of the favorites of ours around the table didn't make the cut. dana? >> i love "justified" as well. i also love "veep." i don't know, i don't know why it's not on here. it's a really, really good show. >> greg? >> a couple things that bugd me. kevin spacey nominated. he's a ham. john hamm, nominated, he's

spacey. i love mike judge. it's a great show about silicon valley. fred armison got nominated. the thing that was left out that i love, drunken history. comedians get drunk and then tell realistic historical tales. it's the best show. >> i watched one of those the other night. i just couldn't get it. >> okay. my three favorite shows on television, house of cards, got nominated, homeland didn't, walking dead didn't. i'm upset about that. watch for tyrant the next time, best series, bar none. we need to say congratulations to bill o'reilly, killing kennedy was nominated for an emmy. >> what about you? >> that was why he was in a very good mood today. >> what upset you that's not on the list? >> all the shows on bravo that i follow every evening. the ladies of london or

housewives never made it. i like house of cards. i need to watch scandal. he said i remind him of kerri washington. the one show i like is the following with kevin bacon. and that did not get nominated. >> the housewives of new jersey, you talk about botox and breast enhancement. one more thing, up next, mafia-wise. [ male announcer ] identity theft ... it's one of the fastest growing crimes in america. in fact, there's a new victim of identity theft every...three...seconds. so you have to ask yourself, am i next? one weak password could be all it takes. or trusting someone you shouldn't. over 100 million consumers had their personal information stolen in recent retail store and online security breaches. you think simply checking last month's credit score

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watch. >> but why? >> where is the drone? >> we innovate, come up with innovative stuff. >> dana? >> okay. i'm a big fan of -- >> you are. >> this guy cares. because he stood in line, stayed the night to be the first person in line to buy pot in washington state. take a look at him. >> thank you. yeah! >> the winner. >> mike boyer is his name. the thing is, while he was the first to buy pot, he was also the first to be fired for buying pot because his employer is called labor something -- labor

ready. they sent him a text message saying we saw you on tv, and they have a strict no-drug policy and he lost his job. >> they left him high and dry. all right. andrea? >> for years, you know, i've been waiting for one of my favorite shows, the soup with joe mchail, to pick up on the absurdity that happens at this table every single day. well, guess what, it finally happened. >> "the five" is a panel show that explores race relations in the 21st century. >> what did everybody think of the b.e.t. awards last night? >> i missed it. >> everyone on "the five" failed to watch the b.e.t. awards. >> bob? >> i was with a black woman. >> oh, my god. >> at least he said she was black. and she said she was a woman. i don't know. i don't ask a lot of questions. it's cheaper that way. >> speaking of cheap, though,

joe's a smart guy. he knew that was a joke. that was the whole point was i was pointing out that none of us had watched it. so we actually decided to replay the joke as his own. which is kind of cheap, joel. i expected something better from you. >> okay. well, i thought it was funny, for the record. >> but cheap. >> where are we, bob? >> yeah, i came across a story, i've said all along, as bad as islamist terrorists are to this country, the chinese are the single biggest threat to the national security of the united states. they have been, they will be, and they'll wait. they're very patient. as usual, we bring them over here and teach a bunch of chinese people how to do computers. they go back to china and hack into us, right? the chinese have hacked into the office of the management of budget. who do they go after? everybody with a top security clearance. so china -- >> that's one of those moments. i think that should be on the

soup. that would be hilarious. >> there's billions of them. all they do is hack into our stuff. they send us cheap toys, and they have lead in them and they're killing kids. >> oh, my goodness. all right. should i just end it here? should we end it early? beggers can't be choosers. it's factually wrong. beggars can be choosers. anytime you walk down the streets of new york and they don't like what you give them, they're choosing. the world now, beggers can choose. that's it, huh? >> way to depress us. >> i know. don't forget to set your dvr

>> the humanitarian crisis down. the president stopping for barbecue. isn't this just the kind of photo op he says he doesn't like? why didn't he make time to stop at the border. >> the irs explaining under oath how the agency lost lois lerner's e-mails. when we finally get the answers about the tea party targeting scandal. >> the call 911 dispatcher said he would never get. >> 20-year-old infant choking. >> that call to save her own son. "fox & friends" son starts