in diapers suddenly crashed a jeep into a house. we're not making it up. it's there. up next, the owe riley factor. tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye" is the government secretly training an all lumber jack army? if so what took so long? we pick up where no other show left off. and how does the president feel about greg gutfeld's desire to do an entire show come pollutely nude? >> i have actually met that guy before, but i gotta call things as they are. it is not sexy. it is wrong. >> and finally, the most incredible canine versus feline showdown of all team. who came away victorious from this epic battle? stay tuned to find out. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> i wish they were. and now let's welcome our guest. she is from the uk. that's the university of kentucky, go wild cats. i am here with author and

broadway.com news editor i'm ma general lloyd webber. she wears her sunglasses at night because she is usually wasted from huffing paint. it is joanne nosuchunsky. you can't sell no sexting with no sex. the blaze.com editor and host the the buck sexton show hosted by buck sexton. whenner there is a will there is a nerdy guy with glasses. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> it is an old song. >> sean cassidy? >> i don't know. they are weightless, but not mateless. last week russia, yes them, launched five geckos into space to observe their mating

activities in zero gravity. it was a worthy mission until it all went wrong. after three orbits around the earth russia lost communication with the satellite and now they are floating around in space. according to their reports if control is not regained the satellite and its cargo of geckos could come crashing to the earth. itit is the subject of a new segment. >> right now the world is in chaos. as can be seen here. >> let's go. let's go. let's go. >> let's go. ♪ let's go.

>> they don't seem like they are panicking. >> they lost a satellite of geckos and what can this mean for the world? >> it is get it out of the way. the geckos are going to return and they are going to enslave us , but does this strike anyone else as slightly suspicious? the russians are like this country that has nothing and facing new sanctions and life expectancy is 40 and everybody is drunk that they have the money to shoot lizards into space to listen to them have sex? i am not saying like the world is run by this conspiracy of lizard men and the tri lateral group and these are all flesh eating space lizards. i am raising the issue and i am saying that this would seem to support that scientific theory. >> yes, but here is my fear, that somehow these geckos will

be affected by a coz mick radiation that may -- cosmic radiation that may turn them into monitors. >> i am glad because it clarifies a few things, greg. from now on when i ask a lady if she would like to study my outerspace sex machine, it is science. it is an experiment. >> that is so creepy. >> it is less creepy though. >> you dialed it down from 11. i wish i was there for the pitch meeting. spearment? one gecko, no. two geckos in space having sex. weird guys. >> it is dangerous, i'm ma general. i -- i'm -- -- imogen. >> he is car insurance. clearly this is a conspiracy. they are going to put them in space and then come down and multiply and kill us all.

it is frettenning. frightening. >> it is an attack on america, joanne. what do you make of this? tech mickly they -- technically they are earth lings and we should treat them with respect. >> i am taking a different angle here. we lost contact with this satellite. yoing it was -- i don't think it is russia's doing. it is the geckos' doing. who wants to be looked at as they are fornicating. they need a little privacy. >> maybe turn on a little barry white in the background? >> we should leave them alone as they get it going and then they will come back and then take ever on the world because they will have multiplied several times. >> it is like the awkward scenes in "the bachelor" when they spend the night together. >> that's not awkward. there is nothing awkward about that. >> my worry is it will be discovered by aliens who assume that they are nothing

but geckos and they will come to unvade us us -- invade us because we are small lizards. >> won't they be under prepared for us with our hair and nuclear weapons? >> that is true and your hair especially. this is the night of the hair line. on the topic of russia, putin's daughter lives in a town in the netherlands. this week the mayor, frustrated by the handling of the flight 17 crash, suggested that she be exiled. now he has apologized on twitter. i guess this is in dutch. it says his comment about putin's daughter was not wise. it stemmed from a powerlessness. why do you think he apologized? what is going on with europe? are they terrified? >> first off, i think the apology, if i read it carefully came from dutch bing. they use dutch bing to translate. i don't know if it is a literal translation. at first i felt bad for these two girls who are putin's

daughters. i thought how hard it must be to get a date. and then i thought what a cool father-in-law he would be once you get over the initial awkwardness. he would like scare you by like grabbing your hand really tightly or invading ukraine or something. then you marry into the family and he gives uh great wedding gift like crimea. >> she fled by the way. >> she left her father. maybe she will end up in america. >> the other reason that he may have apologized and this is where my statistic comes in. the netherlands have been doing lots of trading with russia. there is a great financial economic pressure going on as well.

>> i can usually try to give the children of auto crates the benefit of the doubt. usually when i have done that in the past they say oh come on. but this guy went to oxford. he was part of a charity. oh and he also plays soccer with people's heads. >> i don't know. she is cute though. >> i wouldn't know. she doesn't have social media accounts. i don't know what she looks like. that is fascinating. they have kept these girls away so they know who they are. >> she has to be hot. she is putin's daughter. >> and she is russian. >> she is hot now. >> moving on. is mod december stey the -- modesty the best policy? pat robert soon finally addressed the question on everyone's mind. what is sexier a bare leg or a lace stocking?

>> a lace stocking is more sensual than a bare leg. it is the illusion that there is something behind it. >> right you are, pat. now what about girls who appear to dress modestly? >> one in particular, my wife would get very modest when it would come to their knees and a little below their knees. they would be dressed up to go to school and guess what they would do. >> cover up further? >> no they would roll the skirts up. >> roll them at the waist. >> scandalous. but i thought modest was hottest. >> wops it -- once it becomes cool it will catch on. until it is cool then the girls want to be cool and want to be hip and want to do what is in. >> okay, joanne, it is easy to

make fun of pat robertson because he is an older gentleman, but nothing he is saying is wrong, nothing. >> nothing he is saying is wrong, exactly. i wish he could do so in a way that is not as creepy. >> old men talking about legs. >> i would never let my kid wear lace tights. you are going bare legged because i don't want the men to think about what a is underneath. >> that's a a fair point. >> what he said about modesty is true. girls need to learn to be modest for themselves. it shows how much respect you have for yourself. we obviously had little respect for ourselves. there is nothing wrong with that either. >> no respect at all. will you be changing your dress to apiece mr. robertson. >> this guy is 84. this is the most he has ever said. he is famous for calling feminists wicked and just because they wear kilts doesn't mean they are gay.

>> are you sure? this needs to be researched by nasa. >> i think this guy is doing a career pivot and becoming the new dr. ruth. for once he is making sense. >> it is so easy, buck, to make fun of him. he said a lot of foolish things as imogen said. but nobody said much of this anymore and it is refreshing. >> he has done a good job. they roll up the skirt and they wear the high heels and they got the bustiet on. >> it is like your creepy uncle telling you what it is like to get to second base with a girl, but somebody has to tell you. >> and then when they show you on a doll, that's terrible. >> now it got creepier. a $5,000 real doll that comes in a crate. he is right, but if you take it logically, is he going in

the direction of the burka? >> that's the thought. this is creepy. we should have a more for yum on -- moratorium on on old people talking about sex. i am not sure it is true. it is situational. modest works. i think less modest works sometimes. it depends on the situation. it is situational. it is much like your ethics, gregory. >> thank you for that. i don't know. i just think they are making a point and there is a whole section that they are talking -- the merits of modesty. i said it wouldn't hurt for half of our population to hear this. >> less is more -- >> less is -- no more is less. >> i stand by what i say. >> more clothing means less. >> i had a headmaster who said it should be like a bikini when talking about a term paper. big enough to cover the

subject, but small enough to keep it interesting. >> is becoming short our last resort? to combat global warming one nyu professor suggested shrinking ourselves which would reduce our carbon footprint. matthew leo explains, quote, reducing height by 15 centimeters would be a reduction in mass of 25% which means less of you has to be transported instead. he notes, you can fit in airplanes better as well. cutting human size could be accomplished with a technique called pre implantation. embryos would be selected based on height. we could return to a time when everyone was smaller and happier as seen here.

>> laughing at a camel. who hasn't done that before? they are funny beasts. is there a point? >> the most fascinating thing is talking about the idea that they could build a patch that replicates eating a juicey burger? >> it is to prevent you from eating meat. >> but it would give you the sensation that you are eating the burger. and we have the technology to do this and we are not doing this? h is insane. >> i think it is a hypothetical. >> let's put the money behind it. you are thin and then you quit smoking and then you put on some weight. this is a good idea. the time has come. >> i think this guy is nuts and i will tell you why. this is what bothers me. this guy is a pc jerk because he talked about how you can make tall people shorter. he didn't say fat people.

he knew if he would have said -- if you make fat people lose weight the carbon footprint would be smaller. he knew he would get some trouble for that. >> that's exactly right. tall people have no special protection. it is not like it is the american association of giants saying you are making fun of us. but if you mess with people more in girth you will hear their wrath in e-mail. this guy has a novel way of tacking his own napolean complex . we will just make everyone smaller. if i have to be small you will all be small! am i assuming he is small? am i right? yes. >> he is a scientist and they are usually tiny people. imogen, you are a small person. did you have a small carbon foot pribt because you traveled by jet? it does not work across a broad spectrum. >> i do get why scientists are trying to think out of the box. instead of changing the world, let's change ourselves. but it is not going to work. it will not work in a

democracy. yes you can do something like this in china. you can manipulate. but you can't do that to people in a democracy. it is not going to work. it is never going to happen. >> joanne -- what kind of look is that? >> i am ready. >> here is the thing, if he really wants to -- if he wants to use his logic, why doesn't he shorten the life span? instead of being 80, why not be 40? you cut the life span in half. >> then you have to eat the red meat to die or so the studies say. >> that's true. >> you fixed one problem or you cater to one solution to a problem, but then there are other problems that i believe will form as a result of that endeavor. >> like what? >> you have a lot of really short people who can't reach anything. >> my goodness. that is so true.

at least in my life. that's why my apartment is messy. i just put things on the floor. >> the time between carbon footprints and meat is speechless. it is the methane from the car farts that do the most damage to the atmosphere. you stop eating meat and you have a doubling and a tripling of the cow population and it is methane all over the place. >> and it can be caused by eating nonmeat products. i wouldn't know, but some people are vegetarians who smell a littlepungant in the bathroom. they are used to bolster insidious ideas. they say the world is going to explode. stop eating. the world is going to explode, give me money. the world will explode, ride a bicycle. it is a method of control and coercion. am i right, will? thank you. >> i don't know. if everybody is short that would be fun. jay how tall are you?

>> 6 foot 1. >> the world is short come weared to you. >> everyone is 6 foot 1. they put the 1 on there. >> they can't be 6 feet. >> get the tape measure out here. >> 5 foot 11 and three-quarters, i will say it. >> i am 5 -- no, i am 4 -- i am 4 foot 18. >> you are like a walking fun house of mirrors. >> yes i am. you know what, you are 5 foot 4, but your hair is a foot long. >> i am jealous of the hair commentary. a little jealous, greg. >> you are like bookends. >> woo we see the -- we see the same toupe guys. >> we are part of the appreciation society. i just got that joke. >> there are like 12 people who got that joke. >> i feel bad about myself.

>> coming up, i interview potential interns for a nonexistent job just so i can take pictures of them when they are not looking. it won't be a first. a survey proves that short guys are awesome. take that you tall gangly jerks.

if are you over 6 feet you are a philandering cheat. the website reveals men over 5 foot 10 are twice as likely to cheat than their shorter male counterparts. our crack research team, ie google, found that no surprise our president is 6 foot 1.

>> lies. >> could this be the reason for the moral decay we are seating in america? >> once again i am pleased to welcome back our special audience panel. nice to see some familiar faces. now by a show of hands how many believe tall people are hedonistic satam worshipers. how many of you people think short people are gods among men? just a few there. i am not too sure. and you have seen the truth. i will be getting to the audience later. trust me. we sometimes run out of time and that's not my fault. it is the producer's fault. joanne is it that tall men who cheat or women prefer the tall

men? it is the chicken or egg question. >> i say let's have an omelette at denny's. >> why aren't you on one of those women from new jersey shows? how did you not end up on there. >> an omelette at denny's? really? >> what else do you get at denny's? >> the grand slam. you get the grand slam. >> anyways, i wish there was a way to tell if a man was more prone to cheating. if there was an actual physical characteristic like a scarlet a, that would be helpful, but height is not an indicator. there is likely sexual dissatisfaction and insecurity. >> you know why i think it comes? options. people with more options are more likely to cheat.

taller men could have more options. >> here is the thing. it is a self-serving segment. i was thinking back to my ex-boyfriend and i love tall men. i was thinking how many of my ex-boyfriends cheated. i thought, you know what, this survey for once is bang on the money. >> there you go. your personal experience has -- >> it has, absolutely. >> you don't even know what it means, do you? >> is sounds better when she says it. >> bang on the money. >> it will be a tv show on, "bang on the money." >> so buck, how tall are you, 5 foot 11? >> i say 6 feet when i want to say impressive, but 5 foot 11. >> when you lie about your

height do you cheat more? >> i do have more confidence in my abilities. you touched on this at the very being and women are open about this, but many of them are heightists. all i want is a man who just understands me as a person and wants to hold me and love me and a good family and good education and he has to be over 6 foot 2. men are not amusement park rides, ladies. there is not a height requirement. >> that is so true. >> tall men terrify me? >> big men scare you? >> it is odd. >> they are giants, freakish, report they? >> yes. >> i consider myself above average heights in certain parts of the world. down south in particular i am considered tall. that's why i vacation down south. i tower over them. i don't even know who i am talking about. tennessee perhaps. will, do you believe in this statistic? you are 6 foot 1 and a half

without hair. >> joanne had a point there. it is the insecurity factor. i live in washington, d.c. -- >> good for you. >> i am part of the nation's elite, greg. >> i can tell by the >> shut up. >> anyway, down in washington, d.c., it is a truism that it is the congressmen who cheat that are the ugly ones. they have been ugly their entire lives and suddenly they are congressmen. there is a mixture of like -- >> it is the adam levine theory. he was young and had acne and now he doesn't. >> yes and then turns into this monster he is today. it is like bell clinton. bill clinton a chubby guy his entire life and then gets to washington and oh! >> and they play catch up. when they play catch up -- if you are a normal male you would date a lot of women in your age, but there are some that just go back to their era where they are rejected. they are dating high school girls that didn't go to the

prom and they are 50. >> okay, i will take their word for it. sure. >> you know what i'm talking about. it is time for a short president. putin is probably 5 foot 6. >> not going to happen. >> calvin coolige was short. >> he was probably one of the greatest leaders of our time. >> he wasn't short for his time. he was shorter than the average man today, but the average high of a frenchman was along the lines of 5 another 6. 5 foot 6. >> i love that you know that. >> what is in the water that we are growing? >> that's a good point. maybe the dude was right, the global warming guy was right. maybe we are growing too fast and maybe we should shrink a little. >> we eat more. >> we have great nutrition. what are we talking about. coming up, a website that sells see bra meat.

i have been selling the same thing out of the back of my van. it is tasty and stripey. first, a word from our sponsor. >> tonight's sponsor features hit songs "look down on everyone"" durchen master -- dungeon master at the house" and "on my own ironically." thanks lower eastside miserable.

do tv shows cause mental whoas? according to a new study, the best five words i know, watching tv after work makes you feel guilty and like a failure. researchers found that people who were stressed at the end of the day tended to feel like they were procrastinating by sitting in front of the talking window. that's what i call it at home, the talking window. i don't have any other windows. we have teams watching tv in a state of obvious despair. >> either way, no girls in high school are that hot so just tell us. did you [bleep] this morning or not? >> how much is this one? >> 1400. >> i'll take it. >> there is nothing more depressing than "entourage." if you were on the verge of suicide and "entourage" was

on, it would push you over. i buy this, but it depends on what you are watching. if it has a fact-based element to it like "red eye" and you dvr your" red eye" and watch it as you get home and you get your current events in a perspective you won't find anywhere else in the world unless you are in some kind of a hospital. but if you end up watching like a run of law and orders and you know how they do the overlap of "law and order" -- oe end and it is the beginning of a new one. and the next thing you know you haven't done anything for five hours. >> i see what you are saying. "law and order" is like a box of donuts. you think you are eating one and instead you eat the whole thing and you feel bad. you can watch eight hours of "law and order" or 12 and then you realize you are wasting yourself. i actually don't own a tv. i love it! that's a brag.

>> you think that's a brag? >> it is really because i can't afford one. i am ill equiped to answer the question. i hear people who watch fox news love freedom for example. >> nicely done. >> shame less pandering. that was obama level pandering. >> it was a german study so they made us feel guilty in general and it has nothing to do with tv. it depends on what you watch, right? >> germany and the netherlands did the joint study. there were only 471 people for one night. >> that's terrible. >> it is like, really? i am not buying this. sorry. need more research. >> like the quote from tears for fears, "people are people, why should it be." bill, answer the question, why should it be? what is your take on this?

>> i don't think we need television to feel guilty and to feel like failures sometimes. >> what do we need? >> tv is great and tv is fantastic and they never let you down except your entourage friends. there is a lot of reasons and a lot of sadness in the world. >> did i touch on something i shouldn't have? >> is there a back story? i never heard anybody claim they hated entourage. >> "entourage" -- >> it is the "6 and the city" for men. it was a product of poor timing. "entourage" came out when people were having a rough period. to watch four bozo frat boy broheims selling tequilla and talking to dumb girls everybody is like i hate these people. >> what rough time are you

talking about? >> 2004. >> the economy you mean? we had a great president who won all of those wars. >> have i a solution to this. i have a solution when you do this. drink, laundry, eating. >> cry. >> stalking your exon facebook. >> this is the interesting thing about the modern era is the multi tasking with the laptop on your lap while watching tv because that somehow alleviates the guilt you feel. you are going oh look what i am doing here. i am searching for stories for rm -- for tomorrow. >> i don't feel guilty watching "the bachelor." i earned that luxury. i work hard. >> that's dessert. it depends on what you watch. like "red eye" except it is at 3:00 a.m. so you are not wasting time. it is an hour's sleep. it is not like it is in the city and 6:00 and beautiful out and girls in dresses and

guys in sports cars with hats. >> what city are you living in? >> in a city i have never been in. >> you are probably not missing a great charity event at 3:00 a.m. >> that's what i mean. when you are watching "red eye" you are not missing anything. but it is 6:00 and you are watching "law and order" you should go outside and talk to your neighbors. or not. they probably suck. maybe it is good you stay inside. less likely to get hit by a car. >> if you watch "law and order" you are afraid of theup peas who kill people. >> why is binge tv watching okay among elites. it is bad to watch tv unless you watch 13 episodes of something in a row. >> it is like drinking. why when one drink when you can have 13? >> it is always back to the booze. it is time to take a break. have your skateboards ready. "not cool" order it at amazon.com. look at that beautiful cover.

it will be in paperback, but i don't know when. buy it autographed at g gutfeld.com.

it is hot. they are bothered. morality groups are voicing their extreme displeasure with the first trailer of the "50 shades of grey" movie. never hearding it. they call it nothing more than violence and smut.

let's look at what all of the fuss is about. >> he was polite, intense, smart and really intimidating. >> what do you owe your success? >> i demand control on all things. >> it must be really boring. [inaudible]. >> i am disgusted. if you ever want -- shorthand for rich people, helicopter. every rich person has a helicopter. i may need to watch it several more times alone in my office to get a full sense. an anti-porn group warns women

that there is nothing empowering of whips and chains and humiliation and torture. speak for yourself. the parents television council said here is a book and movie that are normalizing and roman tau sizing bdsm relationships. i don't even know what that stands for. it is all made to seem romantic to a teenage girl who is watching the trailer. there are no teenage girls going to the movie. one of the stars, dakota johnson, defended the family friendly film. >> you of course are the daughter of actors who understand, melanie griffith and don johnson. do you want them to see this movie? >> i think that -- probably no. >> too embarrassing? >> no, if it were them doing the movie, i wouldn't want to see that. >> well her father is don johnson so i would see why she wouldn't want to watch. he would probably ask her out. >> he dated melanie griffith when she was 14. >> oh my gosh.

>> of course he wouldn't date his daughter. that's disgusting. >> imogen, have you read the books? >> i have all of the books. of course. i have to see what all of the fuss is about. >> she had to do her research. >> that was not sexy. that was laughable. she looks like my bank manager. i don't know what planet we are on, but really? that is supposed to be sexy? i think not. >> wait until you get to the balls. >> that is not funny. >> that was horror. >> and then there is the fallout and withdrawal. i won't mention that at all. ?i way. anyway. and then there are the slips. it is so awful. is this film dangerous for

women? >> it is the unrealizable expectations. >> you know what a good sign you will cheat? having a sex dungeon. that's a good sign when you can show a woman your sex dungeon and she says, all right, she cool other than that. the reason to skip this movie is it is laughable and appalling and it is don johnson's daughter and every time i look at her i think -- >> "crockett." >> yes. stubs. >> who is stubs? >> i see nash bridges. that's who i see. it is weird. >> that's disturbing. >> do morality groups stop people from seeing movies or provide free promotion. >> i don't know what they do. if anything it gives more publicity to these movies. this movie will be a massive, massive flop. seriously. there is no way this movie is

not going to absolutely -- this is going to make "basic instinct 2" look like" citizen cane." not that i saw "basic instipg 2". >> what if it is one of the greatest movies ever. >> people like to read the book because they are alone in their home. you don't read it on the subway. you don't want people around you. >> the only reason it was a big hit was because kindle took off. people were able to read them on the kindle. most women -- the 100 million women that read the book they were not sitting on the subway. maybe on their kindle they were reading. it but they wouldn't boo -- >> frankly i don't understand the appeal. somebody anybody bells my ear kind of hard and i'm like, i'm done here. >> imranted that did happen -- granted that did happen at the petting zoo. >> you know what is so funny? if a guy in a movie wants to get a woman interested he well say steer clear. you don't want any part of this. i am a damaged man.

>> try to change me. >> they want to pinch my cheeks in assisted. >> it is like mick -- mickey rork in "9 and a half weeks." i'm old. i don't know any of these people in these movie. where is sov fee yaw lauren and farrah fawcett? >> there is too much that sags so they can't be in the film. >> that angers me. i think the movie will do great and i wish them all the best. i do. coming up, the world almost ended in 2012, but then what happens? >> i am going to tell you. >> and do you have videos of animals some of course you do. i have a thousand under my bed and locked up in case the police come. anyway, send them to us fox news.com/red eye.

did you know a ten-second test could help your business avoid hours of delay caused by slow internet from the phone company? that's enough time to record a memo. idea for sales giveaway. return a call. sign a contract. pick a tie. take a break with mr. duck. practice up for the business trip. fly to florida. win an award. close a deal. hire an intern. and still have time to spare. check your speed. see how fast your internet can be. switch now and add voice and tv for $34.90. comcast business. built for business. returns on monday. next week we have a bunch of people. allison barber and jim norton and sherrod small. and on monday mr. penn

gillette. >> e block. last story. that's the last story. >> yea, okay. the sun flared, but we were spared. according to nasa, whatever that is, solar flare triggered by a powerful storm on the sun nearly destroyed the earth nearly two years ago because obama got there first, am i right, america? it happened on july 23rd, 2012, the same dame i completed my re-- the same day i completed my reassignment surgery. it would have cut out the gps and causing a widespread blackout which could have lasted for years. said one scientist, if it would have hit we would still be picking up the pieces. shut up, nerd. >> i caught that. >> a lot of places wouldn't be -- you could flush the toilets. what is more horrifying than that a? >> for example there are water usage police in l.a. because

they have the drought and the green footprint, the greenthumb. this is good. the world will end in a day. i am not worried about the climate changing thing. we almost got taken out by a solar flare. >> are you angry you found out now? >> and i am terrified. there is a 12% chance it could happen again. it caused $2 trillion worth of damage. this is a huge story. >> the geckos were the end of the world. 10% chance. >> 12%. >> a brew willis-type -- a bruce willis-type scientist -- maybe you should become a scientist. he could figure it out and get the solar flare aimed at the

geckos and the geckos catch fire and burst into flames and then they land on earth and we fight to the death. we befriend them and have mad gecko love. >> i did not know that. >> would you rather not know? >> it is funny. this is a fantastic news story while at the same time if it happened there would be no news. we call that a double-edged sword in journalism. i was thinking about this. if the solar flare was more powerful and blew up the earth like a death star, that would be a good way to go, right? >> it is better than most ways. >> we would all go together. >> all of us would find out who is right with religion. >> it is like reagan's speech with the aliens only it is a solar flare. >> i didn't know that about the aliens. >> this is a natural emp, right? all of the people worried

about the terrorists. it is not the terrorists and it is not part of the obama illuminadi takeover. >> joanne, you have been saying this since day one. it is the sun that's going to get us. >> i was one of those people who was convinced the world was going end in 2012. i was almost right. keep that in mind. >> that's true. truthfully, i like being blissfully unaware. if this does happen, a lot of peanut butter and jellies. >> is that your celebration food? >> no, no, it is a power. >> i thought end of the world stuff. >> well, the world would eventually end without having power for four hours. >> we have to go.

special thanks to imogen lloyd webber and bruce sexton and joanne nosuchunsky. i am greg gutfeld. see you next time. me.

8:00 p.m., fbn, we're all over irrational. hello be everybody, i'm eric bolling along with andrea tantaros, greg gutfeld, bob beckel and dana perino. it's 5:00 in new york city and this is "the five." as russia is firing on ukrainian military and israel rejects john kerry ace cease-fire proposal and our southern border is being flooded with illegals our president is shaking hands and kissing babies, some say good for him that's what he should be doing others say get back to work, sir. we fivers each have our own versions of those. let's do a little role. let's play presidential