8:00 p.m., fbn, we're all over irrational. hello be everybody, i'm eric bolling along with andrea tantaros, greg gutfeld, bob beckel and dana perino. it's 5:00 in new york city and this is "the five." as russia is firing on ukrainian military and israel rejects john kerry ace cease-fire proposal and our southern border is being flooded with illegals our president is shaking hands and kissing babies, some say good for him that's what he should be doing others say get back to work, sir. we fivers each have our own versions of those. let's do a little role. let's play presidential politics

five style. let's get president greg, president bob, president dana's take. let's start off with russia and president greg what do we do with russia? >> well, gee whiz, we talk about putin acting in his own national interest. it's completely the opposite of president obama who is acting independently without regard to american interests and only to please world opinion. so he needs us for us to succeed. he needs to be reminded to put us before the world. because he can't. how much does putin wish that president obama has a third term because he hasn't just kicked sand in his face, he's dumped a beach on his head and it's hard to fight russia when you're on their side in the '0es. remember president obama was an anti-anti-communist.

he's jane fonda with a 16 handicap. >> how about it president dana. russia is now allegedly pushed some of their military assets to the border with ukraine. time to step up, president dana. >> this is not -- we don't have to deal in reality. we can do whatever we want. >> nominate a dog as president. >> i believe that we would be within our rights to bomb those assets that russia is moving to the border. i would not allow them to have those military assets on the border and i would take those out and i would also take a page out of putin's playbook -- bob we're not dealing with reality. that's why i'm saying. one thing putin does very well is he creates a problem and then after there's a problem a couple of days later he says oh, i have the solution. remember when bashir al assad had the chemical weapons and putin comes in and i know how to solve this. everyone says thank you so much.

we should do something like that in his own country. >> dare i say the words, president beckel. >> first of all, i think dana should be the supreme ally commander of nato. >> i agree. >> actually, i'm not -- i think nato has never been stronger, never had more people in its military because they expanded it. the head of nato has always been by treaty the supreme ally commander is american. i think they should start doing exercises near and around nato countries and i mean big exercises. what putin has said, he get some of these nato countries back particularly poland. i would do some serious exercise over there. >> bob i said that last week and you said no boots on the ground, greg. >> that's president bob. >> go ahead, president an

tremendousa. >> i'm still trying to recover from president beckel. >> i don't blame you. >> i would reinstate the missile shield in western europe. i would re-examine even if it's possible ukraine joining the eu. that's something that happened a long time ago. severe financial sanctions. export as much as we can to europe. i would strengthen military ties with the poles because they are our best ally since nin and likely the next country to fall. also, this administration is very adept at demonizing the rich. but what putin is doing right now is he's protecting the former ukrainian dictator who looted the ukrainian treasury and spent so much money on these estates that's on the cover of every tabloid magazine internationally. putin knows how much money is stashed. rather than call out putin for

protecting such a thief, john kerry is talk about how they violated u.n. charter. if i were president i would hammer home putin for protecting this dictator and watch his base squirm and hit him for why he's protecting him. >> can i be your undersecretary. >> absolutely. >> here's what i would do. frack, drill keystone pipeline. since we provide a lot of money assistance to israel for their iron dome, give the ukraine an iron dome as well. speaking of israel and ukraine and all the things we help out. i'll stay with you president andrea tantaros, israel asking for $200 million for their iron dome system. also we hear there may be some sort of cease-fire, temporary cease-fire in the works. your thoughts on all those. >> i would call a press conference, go to the rose garden, say we stand with israel. i would take a little more wait

and see approach but i would be willing to send them dollars. hezbollah won't get involved this time around. i do think we send a clear message we stand by them. i don't know i would do anything at this point in time other than that. >> president bob, israel? >> i'll tell you what concerns me. not just the media but in europe the allies, supposed allies of israel have stayed silent in the face of what hamas has been doing and israel has been taking the hit. anti-semitism is alive and well in europe and has been for a long time and growing. the president of the united states needs to stand up and say i know i want to get both sides to back off here but israel is getting a bad rap, hamas is putting these people in harm's way and nobody else is saying it and it's time for us to say it. united states stands with israel in that regard. it's time for our allies to step forward particularly germany and say it's the fault of hamas and not the fault of israelis.

>> so very different from president obama's stance. president dana? >> right now i would say if we as a country say we believe that israel has the right to defend itself then we should let israel defend itself. and keep our nose out of it for a minute. meaning we don't have to always be there trying to bring people to the table. as well intentioned as it may be that secretary kerry is exacerbating tensions. also i think president obama should try to get france at least to do what bob was suggesting but the first thing they should do is cancel the two aircraft carriers to russia as well ask france to take the lead on more of a propaganda piece around europe. this won't happen. >> i want to get president gutfeld in. >> yes. nor cease-fires. don't have any more cease-fires. built within that word is the

idea it's temporary. the pause only helps the losing side. do you think for a minute israel was getting clobbered people would call for a cease-fire. they only call for a cease-fire when the aggressor is getting its butt kicked. a cease-fire puts off the inevitable. let the inevitable happen. let the right side win. there's one constant in history and people hate jews, and they do it because they can get away with it. >> the anti- -- as you point out anti-israel is growing. >> the french and british both have stayed very silent. why. they have huge muslim population. they are scared to death of the muslim population. what france is doing is basically playing a muslim role

and not wanting to step up for an ally and i think that's disgraceful. >> is that why president obama has stayed relatively quiet as well? >> what dana said, when you get into these things -- it doesn't help the secretary of state -- >> the democratic party has had a long history of seemingly siding with the palestinians on these issues. >> that's not true. >> president bolling, this guy would send the 200 million they are asking for. send a signal to the world and hezbollah if you're thinking about getting involved we have israel's back. should we move on to the border. president dana you have a border crisis. 60,000 kids have come over from central america. how to fix that problem. >> as hard as it is to send children back i think i heard senator mcconnell say earlier this week if and when they do go back he can guarantee third trip home would be safer and comfortable than third trip up

to the border and they have to be reunited with their families. i would see if there's a possibility of criminal neglect to be charged against the families who let the children go. that is to keep the families intact because there has to be a deterrent. third thing i would do is right now take comprehensive immigration reform off the table and pass the h 1 visas where you have the hi-tech folks who want to come over here and not for just smart engineers that come from india and china i would increase those to our best friends as well from australia, uk, any of those types of countries if they want to come here we should open up our door wider. >> president beckel. >> a couple of things. i suggested last week president obama should get together with the leaders of these central america countries. honoduran president came out and said you're sending mixed signals.

i would take these children in. make sure there's no criminals. absorb them into the united states. dedicate myself to finishing the wall. >> greg? >> fix the laws, send them back. stop treating citizens like second class citizens. stop putting illegal immigrants before legal immigrants. i know president obama loves golf i want to use a golf metaphor. you can't just climb a fence, run to the green and drop a ball in the hole and call it a hole in the one. even a golf course has borders. the only thing that doesn't have borders is obama's foolishness. >> president andrea tantaros. >> all you have to do is fix the loophole in the law that allows central american children not to have the same rights as mexican rights. devote resources to the border. put the national guard there.

give them arrest power. i would have a strong warning to the leaders of central america, invite them to the white house and warn them that you can't do this, you can't allow your kids to come here, i would send them the bill so they could reimburse us for the cost. >> as president bolling, i would agree with everything president andrea tantaros just said. one more thing. take legal immigration up to maybe 3 or 4 million a year and ease that burden. don't make people wait. >> was it true that when he met with the president of guatemala, honoduran and el salvador they dressed as children and asked for refugee status. >> that's right. keep in mind ronald reagan allowed the el salvadorians to come in because of a civil war and granted them the right to come to the united states. that's what we ought to do. >> there's no civil war going on in any of the countries. >> honoduran. >> civil war? >> yes.

>> when we come back -- is president obama willingly dropping the ball as the so-called leader of the free world. we can analyze later. it's our facebook free for all. send in your questions for our facebookdom/five fnc. more back in a moment. ♪

imagine if the title leader of the free world were a wrestling belt and its owner decides to relinquish it. after entering the ring he finds he doesn't have the stomach or will for winning. he gives it up voluntarily. we see it now. the president dressed in ambivalence. like the quaint note of exceptionalism, leader of the free world is a fiction that allowed that yankee bully to roam the world picking fights for decades. when it lived, leaders of the free world invites jon start your followed by a colbert chuckle. who believes such nonsense. can obama give up something that

wasn't his. it belongs to us. as president you may disdain the role but that's the role you accept pad. office should remain the same as before as well as the stature of america. it's amazing that citizens of one country are trampling through another without so much as a stop for a slurpee to come here. mexico should adopt a new slogan, keep going, straight ahead. the president wants out so badly while others want in. what do people see in america that he doesn't. perhaps that it was uniquely exceptional much more so than him. don't you feel the office has shrunk deliberately? >> yeah, i do. i don't think he feels it shrunk. i think he feels he reshuffled the priorities of the white house and what he thinks are important. you know, he said at this fundraiser yesterday people don't care about what happens around the world they care about what happens here at home. he doesn't even care about what

happens here at home. he's not to dounsd border crisis or va scandal. i just don't think he cares. we don't have an israel policy, russia policy. no syria policy. no real iraq policy. charles krauthammer said the other day this is the closest thing to anarchy since world war ii and i would gee. we talked about what each of us would do. i think obama needs to stick to beer summits, birth control press conferences, he needs to do golf, pool, pay no attention to foreign policy and absolutely stay away. help michele plan a junket. refocus, fundraise. i don't want him to draw a red line that he's not willing to enforce. >> dana, is he almost like our gorbachev? he's opening the door to a new era where like gorbachev unknowingly caused the disintegration of the ussr.

>> in fact, i just read an article in "newsweek" that talks about vladimir putin's daily life and one of the things he believes is gorbachev was an evil person that caused the destruction of their country or downfall. the president is being tagged in almost every column as being detached. i tuned white house doesn't think that's true. they will tell you until they are blue in the face that that's not true. but that's the accepted narrative of this moment and about to go on a three week vacation and the world won't stop its chaos for him to have another break. >> eb, 2016. does america need a nationalist, somebody concerned about preserving our strength in a mad world. we don't have one now, it seems. >> yes. we need someone that we all like. we need someone who has a national policy that we can adhere to and like while he's doing it. the problem is andrea was on

with james carville on o'reilly last night. you hear people on the right saying president doesn't care. when you hear james carville say he doesn't care it's okay. obama doesn't care but it's not all right. he ran i'm going fix america. he had a heart. he cared then. what happened in the six years between he was elected and now? we have two more years of a guy who doesn't care. that's a pretty scary concept. >> we are getting what he said he would do. people aren't ready for that because they don't like what they consider the interventionist policies of george w. bush so they liked it in 2008. now the consequences are what we weren't hoping for. >> doesn't it make you nervous it could get worse if he gets involved. that's my concern. the next two years is a very scary prospect eric if he doesn't know what he's doing and other countries have taken notice i think it's best for him to worry about

school lunches and bake sales and the nfl and whatever else he wants to do. >> to suggest the president of the united states doesn't care about these things is absurd. >> carrville said it last night. >> i don't care what carrville said. the point of fact is that -- what you're talking about is the old american saber rattling. we can't do that any more. >> that's the point. you're calling it saber rattling. >> what can you do? >> it works. it ended the cold war. we chased saddam hussein out of kuwait. >> all this talk about saber rattling and i'll go back to ronald reagan. you can't do anything about it. >> can i give you and alternative to saber rattling. slap some sanctions on russia. go after hamas. you can still do that and not be a saber rattler.

>> how do you go after hamas. >> cut off the funding to palestinian authority. tell iran you want to play, he'll play with you, we'll dance with you. >> i see. you're going eye ball to eye ball with iran. >> the stupid sanctions obama lifted put them back in place. >> they have been lifted. >> they were great sanctions. he was stupid for lifting them. sorry i misspoke. >> the fact is you keep talking about the saber of the united states is not nearly as strong as it used to be and it's not obama's fault, it's the way the world has gone. you throw dlhrow diplomacy arou. >> in a couple of weeks we'll see images with the bicycle helmet and glasses.

>> coming up nfl suspends baltimore ravens ray rice for knocking out his fiancee@pp@p

♪ back in february we brought you the horrific video of nfl running back ray rice dragging his then fiancee's unconscious body out of an atlantic city elevator. his punishment from the league a whopping two games. test positive for weed or performance-enhancing drugs it may cost you a full season. an upper downtown your fiancee just two games. does the nfl need to re-examine their conduct guidelines or is this a symptom of the culture. >> it's not a big deal. it's just part of the process. i stand behind ray.

he's a heck of a guy. he's done everything right since. he makes a mistake. he'll have to pay a consequence. good for kids to understand that it works that way. that's how it should be. we're not dwelling on it. we're moving forward. >> not a big deal. >> what an idiot. >> go ahead, bob. >> listen to that jerk talk like that and say it's not a big deal and ray is a heck of a guy. he's not. he's an aabuser. he beats up women. nfl is a neanderthal. i think they are a sexist organization. >> dana, we ran the footage of rice dragging the fiancee out of the elevator. it was never made public but the revel casino provide footage. he knocked her unconscious. horrible footage.

harbaugh knows it's out there. how can he say it's not a big deal. >> amazing to me how people in position of leadership get themselves in situations where it looks like they are insensitive. it wouldn't have been hard to say we're concerned, we'll talk to him and focus on the game. if you're in sports those are the three things you have to say. the thing that bothers about his statement he calls his team in particular rice calls him a kid. these are not kids. these are men that are very powerful and they have a lot of money and they are partying a lot and yeah, they bring in a lot of money for the fans as well for the games, but i think calling them kids, basically underscores what bob is saying they don't take it seriously enough. >> greg, he's going to an anger management class. he pleaded not guilty. on the ravens this has happened before. carrie williams earned a suspension for the exact same thing. although no video.

this is symptomatic how they treat this. >> is ray lewis still playing? >> no he retired. >> anger management does not work for anybody. i think that's pretty clear. the most amazing thing about it is we say that the coaches response is blase. he didn't marry rice. she married him after this. the woman married him. so i'm going to butt out of this. i think what he did to her was grotesque but she married him. my solution to domestic abuse it rhymes with the second amendment a gun is a force multiplier. >> eric to that point his fiancee came out and apologized. does that give people like steven smith from espn things like this. >> ray rice case he probably deserves more than the two game

suspension. but at the same time we also have to make sure that we learn as much as we can about elements of provocation not that there's real provocation but the elements prove vocation. you got to make sure you address it because what we got to do is do what we can to prevent the situation from happening in any way and i don't think that's brooched enough. >> maybe she asked for it. >> i got to tell you, i like the guy a lot. he absolutely blew this one. i hope you make a retraction. to indicate that maybe it was her fault for getting punched in the face. there's nothing you can do to provoke a woman to punch her in the face in the elevator and drag her out. very quickly on the nfl, the performance-enhancing drugs mostly because of the signal it sends to children. don't use drugs. same thing. if you're going to be harsh for

peds you should be harsh for domestic violence. >> domestic violence shelters all over america where women leave them and go back to the men. i don't understand it. they do. this is not unique. it's a ridiculous thing for this i die tot say. >> could i say something real quick. i've not said that the white house -- i don't believe that it should get involved in nfl. now it should do that not foreign policy. however, it's weird this white house has weighed in on so many other sports issues the feds are going after pain killers and sports injuries strange they wouldn't weigh in on something this especially when they talk about war on women. the war on women is the one in white house on equal pay. the thing with isis. it's odd to me that this white house would not say anything about this. but i think i know why. >> if it was the 1950s we would be better off.

>> i'm done. >> she married him after. >> that's why i butt out of this stuff. human beings are so strange and so complex that you can get so angry about something and then the person you're defending is with him the next day and you're like -- i'm just going shut up. >> all right. we're going to shut up

♪ all right back by popular demand it's facebook friday. we ask you to send in your questions. i get to read them. andrea, this is from bill m. what is your favorite vacation spot and why? >> stalker. >> i would probably say greece or anguilla. >> why. >> i love the beaches and it's very quiet.

>> is that jersey. >> i can run around and not be recognized. it's in the caribbean. >> i thought you would say miami. >> that's up there too. bob from gary t. he says bob i'm same age as you, 20 year army vet and lean more conservative. what life event made you a liberal. >> i started out as a liberal. my dad worked in the civil rights movement. it goes back generations. influence of my father and mother. >> okay. eric this is from sherri p. with all the running you do, do you run in marathons. >> no. in fact, the most i've ever run is ten miles. i usually run five miles three times a week. it's a perfect distance. that's enough. by the way i got this new fuel band. i love these things. >> would you run? >> i don't think i can finish it. >> dangerous thing to do. >> boring to watch. marathoners are miserable

people. >> is it more fun to watch than soccer. >> executive producer just said in my ear i'm not man enough to run a marathon. >> the challenge is on. greg, from diane p., at what point in your life did you become interested in politics? >> when i got hired by fox. [ laughter ] i don't know. you know, i think a lot of people will say -- i got interested in politics when i was at berkeley and i was a liberal. i worked for the nuclear freeze in high school. when i got to berkeley and i saw liberalism at its full bloom that changed me that made me a conservative. later i would say 9/11 changes you a bit. it sharpens your focus. i was living in new york and you just became more -- you started thinking about things a bit more seriously than you did before. >> who was your first conservative icon, somebody you

thought was -- >> bob terrell my boss at the american spectator. i used to pick up his lunches and medical supplies. let's say they advertised. >> really? >> i'm joking. >> okay. this one is for me. how long does it take for dana to prepare for each show. it never ends. constant. >> it's kind of true. >> yeah. >> you prepare everything. you prepared for this. >> i was ready to answer your questions for your just in case you needed help. andrea another one. what's the best piece of advice, career or personal that you have received and if you can say who was it from? >> probably from my dad, and he said choose something you love because it won't feel like work so never give up. people say when a door closes a window opens i had to jimmy both

open sometimes in my life or kick some down. >> bob from claire. although bob doesn't always do his prep i'm always amazed at his command of history and politics. what was your major in college? >> i was football. but the reason i know a lot about history, i love history and my father was a historian and i read a lot of history. and it interests me a lot. and a lot of the political history is fascinating to me and i think without having a really good grasp of history you can't have a good grasp of politics or domestic or international issues. >> you have an amazing ability memorize things. designee can't remember what he said yesterday. >> the problem for you history started with 9/11. >> eric, do you attend mass on saturdays too? >> that's the only day i don't. actually i don't attend mass every day.

i do my think at saint patrick's. >> you don't go to mass when you go to light candles. >> he goes to the black whale and throws some shots back. >> i pray for you guys. >> when was your last confession. >> before last ash wednesday. >> oh, to be a fly on a wall. greg from william n., since your wife is from russia can you speak and write any russian? >> i memorized two sentences in russian when i asked for permission for marriage from her father when i flew to moscow like in 2000 and something. no. it's a very difficult language and it's better that we don't speak it. because then she can talk about things that i don't understand and it's probably better that way. >> to tell you the truth, yes dear. >> do you ever respond da? >> yes. >> you go da.

>> they have letters in their alphabet i don't know what they are. >> come on, greg, you know how to say please go get me another beer. >> i would be poisoned in three weeks. >> last one, number 12 because it's the quickest one. from rachel s. we have mugs on the table every day who drinks what. andrea. >> tea. >> water. >> hot coffee. >> i don't drink it. it's hot water. >> squirrel urine. >> nobody is drinking alcohol. next is a pop quiz. what do most americans say is their favorite adult beverage, beer, wine, liquor. maybe something else.

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♪ as many of you know i'm a recovering alcoholic my drinking days are over so i want to talk about a new gallup poll that says americans who drink alcohol pick beer over wine. 31% drink wine, 23% like liquor. now i'll ask my colleagues what they like. when i was drinking, if somebody

asked this question, i drank vodka in spring and summer and scotch in the fall and winter. the problem is when i quit i was drinking about a quart and a half of both a day. and you don't want to get up there. that will kill you. eric you don't drink a quarter most days. >> not even close. i love vodka with club soda and put an orange wedge. with vodka that's what i do. >> you don't drink it on the rocks? >> sometimes. i do probably drink it four or five nights a week. >> your going to stop drinking vodka to protest president putin. >> i drink absolute vodka which comes from sweden. >> dana what do you drink >> everything i drink makes me ill. >> why is that. is there something you want to share. >> i can't drink a lot of things

including frangelico which makes me sick. i love champagne. do i get drunk? i'm pretty self-controlled. if i don't eat and then drink it's a disaster. >> she confessed she couldn't do frangelico. too many buttery nipple shots. >> let's talk to our resident expert. >> alcohol is one of god's gift to the world in order to appreciate it you have to make sure you can drink it for the rest of your life. that's why wine is important. you can drink half a bottle of wine and you're not a drunk. you fall asleep before you throw up. there's nonalcoholic and alcoholic. chocolate milk is the greatest nonalcoholic drink. all alcohol tastes bad. beer tastes bad, whiskey tastes bad, wine tastes bad. it's not refreshing. we tricked ourselves into

thinking this stuff is delicious when our own common sense we know it tastes awful. it tastes terrible. that's why not you can mix good tasting stuff with bad tasting stuff because it screws my brain. alcohol doesn't taste good. >> speak for yourself greg gutfeld. i think it tastes delicious especially after a long night of working with you know who. greg said alcohol is god's gift and i think it's god's gift to me because i have to work with you. >> when i drank it i felt it was like medicine. >> i feel the same way. >> that greek drink. >> ouzo. >> i drank a fifth of that. i carried licorice. >> i'm like bolling vodka all

the way. fresca and vodka. >> tequila tastes yummy. >> are you kidding me? >> two drinks are not distilled. tequila and gin. one more thing is up next.

♪ all right time for one more thing. it's friday so it's time for -- almost pelosi, almost kerry, almost hillary but it was joe biden who said this. >> i helped one republican kid make money. so they put me in a home i get a window with a view. >> in other words, joe, republicans know how to make money. joe you're fool of the week. >> what about that home he wants to go to? >> the home. yeah. >> maybe he can go early. >> not the white house, though. >> one of the things that was really fun this past couple of weeks was weird al yankovick. he had his new album called

"mandatory fun." got 10 million views to date. just for this one song "word crimes" that make fun of people that don't have good grammar. watch this. ♪ word crimes ♪ ♪ you better slow down and use the right pronoun ♪ . >> it's 104,000 that he sold. he was asked about why he thinks this is one of the best to date and he said he thought the marketing campaign had a lot to do with it. he didn't give us credit. we played a couple of them. andrea. >> this story cracked me up. this criminal called roger ray. committed a crime in maryland. the police in maryland posted on facebook a wanted poster of his face. there it is right there. he saw the picture. he decided, you know what?

i'm going to leave a comment. so roger post you all will never catch me. and so what happened after that? well they caught him. roger ray, don't do that kind of stuff. he looks like a genius. eric this would have been a good fool of the week. >> i missed that one. greg, you're up.>> we talked ab that died from a lethal injection and it took two hours and it was upsetting to a lot of people it took so long to die. here's a tweet from abc news. it reads victim's family shows no sympathy after killer's execution drags out for nearly two hours. what do you expect you morons. they witnessed -- jean brown witnessed her sister and father getting killed by this guy. they showed sympathy. it's on the family of the victims. it's on the family of the victims you jack asses.

>> i agree. you're up, bobby. >> there's a study out of britain the journal of communications that says for people who work hard all day when they come home and turn on the tv they get a feeling of being guilty and have feelings of failure because they should be doing something else. now, i don't know about whether you guys feel that way. i don't watch much tv. this is a complete study. people say i'm a failure for watching tv. i got an answer. if you just watch "the five" then it's easy. you don't have to feel guilty or a loser. you'll get educated particularly if you listen to me. it's a way to take care of yourself. don't watch anything else. particularly don't watch cnn or msnbc. >> favorite show quickly "around the table." >> right now? >> besides "the five." >> the following. >> "house of cards." >> longmyer.

>> drunken history. >> so "the five," tyrant and hannity. set your dvrs to never welcome to "hannity" this is a fox news alert. there's new evidence that russia is firing artillery across its border into ukraine. i'm eric boeing in tonight for sean. according to u.s. officials russia in a clear escalation is now aiming directly at ukrainian military targets. for the very latest we turn to fox's own steve harrigan on the ground in ukraine. >> reporter: we can hear steady firing on the outskirts. any idea, any prediction that the russians would pullback after there could be a cease-fire after the downing of the civilian jetliner were wrong. we've seen an intervention, direct intervention of forces from inside