that way you never miss it up next the o'reilly factor. good night from washington, d.c. to night on qat red eye." >> coming up on "red eye." is the government rounding up all cows made of butter and caging them for the 1%. and more importantly will anyone stand up for butter cow rights? and is the vice president just now realizing that "pulp fiction" takes place out of order? >> i never believed it, but you know what, 20 years ago nobody spoke up. nose a joke. not a joke of the not a joke. >> and how can you tell if your trampoline doesn't like you permanently? personally. none of these on on "red eye" tonight jie. and now, let's welcome our guest. she is half woman and half wine cooler. i am here with joanne nosuchunsky. and he is half man, and that's

it. he is just half a man. tv's andy looy vee. and he is an actor, comedian and a film maker and that makes him a triple threat. his new film is out on itunes and am amazon. he puts the john in johnny come plately. jim norton, host of the great jim norton show on vice tv. yay! >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> a new teleprompter, operator, doing okay so far. jihadys love "jumanji." robin williams had fans across the world including islamic terrorists. they put holly war on -- holy war on pause to discuss "jumanji."

he wrote, good movie. loved it as a kid. when other twitter users expressed surprise at islamic extremists love of williams' work he responded quote, we are humans like you. the leader of isis released a video statement calling for direct confrontation with the u.s. >> there are things that can be done with that goat. i want to say we wrote a imr piece in "time" magazine -- a great piece in "time" magazine. he used to come to the comedy celler. what were your impressions of him? >> he was a nice guy. the comedians loved him. he was gracious to all of the comics. he didn't come in and try to be a big star. he wanted to hang out with the comics. he was a great guy. >> he would compliment you in

front of your parents even though you did okay and not great? >> that was two things. he met my parents and went out of his we to be nice. he is great and knowing it would mean something to them. it is nicer than i would have done for a younger comic. i would have said he is garbage. he is garbage. he should get out of the business. >> he did that to my parents. >> to be fair, you deserved it. >> i did. i was terrible. >> and now you are making movies. >> i am not going to cast jim. jay i am a great tack ter. i am a great actor. >> jason terrorists love our movies, but they hate us. do you think it is possible to come together over a shared love of "mrs. doubt fire"? >> i do, but they seem like teenagers who have it really good. the mom is like do you want to come to movie night? they are like, no, mom, i don't.

you are showing "jumanji"? okay. i don't understand. life is good unless are you robin williams and you are depressed. i still don't understand it. >> i am trying to comprehend your answer. life is good. joanne, one 19-year-old fighter said "lion king" was one of his favorite films. can you have a passion for jihad and disney? >> that's what is so weird about these tweets. they are almost showing a moment of humanity and relate ability to their followers and then like a light switch, oh yeah they are murderous terrorists. and i am not going to retreat them. i wish i didn't favorite that tweet. even though i agree that "lion king" was awesome, the principal of the matter i can no longer like it. >> what was amazing is after one of the tweets about "jumanji" it was justifying

female slavery because it is in the koran. >> he said i feel like everybody is following me because i am talking about movies. i should probably get back to the point. >> andy, we know the sequel to "mrs. doubt fire is --" mrs. doubt fire" is in doubt. it is probably good not a see el request. >> you don't top perfection. honestly i haven't seen "mrs. doubt fire." >> what a? oh my goodness. we need a movie night. >> did you grow up on bin laden's come bound? >> no, uh -- apparently they have seen it. >> won't they find a way to do it? they will cgi paul walker in there. >> too soon. >> the movie they watch is manji because thank you don't

like jews. >> this proves something. i said on the show our pop culture can win people over. the first time you hear ac/dc you will no longer want to die because ac/dc is so awesome you just want to be in a rock band and not blow yourself up. these guys are proving everything i said wrong that radical ideology triumphs everything like sex drugs and rock and roll. >> that's not true. they did cgi paul walker in it. they really did do that. i wasn't being a [bleep]. i don't think that is an option to be in a rock band. >> i thought that is what you were getting at earlier. these are kids and this guy was from england. he has a pretty good life. he is watching "juma a nji." but he 1* supporting

terrorism. >> i think our laughter is what brings us together. i have said that a lot. >> the problem is they laugh when we die. >> that's true. the romantic comedies end in an honor killing. >> it is so true. what did you think of abc doing the aerial shots over robin williams' home. they later apologized for that. >> it is like getting caught putting a camera in the girls's bathroom and then when they are caught they say sorry i didn't mean to be invaiive sigh. invasive. they are vultures. gite problem is what i -- would you click -- if you saw the aerial photos you would click on them, wouldn't you? >> yeah. >> but then they said they removed it because they didn't find anything newsworthy. you would have kept it up there and kept doing it even though the family asked for privacy at that time. >> they are flat out saying it is not unethical or immoral, but there was nothing newsworthy going on so they

took it away. >> do we need relief from everyone's grief? there was an outpouring of emotion. he calls the collective mourning somewhat irksome. it is somewhat irksome and he knows reading the feed makes desktops feel cheap. one minute they are posting about the dinner they had and the next minute they are writing wow or heart broken. bye rz adds that people try to out sad each other. the stream of perm -- personal remembrances is ultimately about you. what do you think about that? >> it is a new thing for us. what do you expect us to do? grieve? it is like your office but there are eight million people there. there is always one person who is mellow dramatic and they

cry too much. one of us wants to show a photo of our penis and that's the way it is. >> there is one of us at this table right now. >> there is one of you every office you work at. >> we have all become news anchors forced to do that segue, that awkward segue from happy story. 500 dead found in a mass grave. and chip will be in with the weather. >> it is in a way the -- it is the water cooler. i hate to say that. >> we have to say something. >> take a new one. it is the coffee cart. >> since you are already talking do people have the right to mourn people they didn't really know? there is always this thing -- go ahead. >> whether you an actor people invite you into their home. when they are a performer they feel like they grew up with you. you made them laugh and you

affected their mood and their emotions. they could have had a lasting affect. people grieve in different ways. the thing i don't like is when it turns into a competition -- but who was closer? who has the better story or can find the best quote with the best picture of a butterfly? that's when i think it cheapens the whole remembrance of him. >> i remember hurricane katrina and people -- people were like writing on facebook like omg, i was in new orleans five years ago. >> it is innately human to do that. >> byers is right. there were people that they use the framework of public mourning to talk about themselves. nora mcdonald told a fan it is a steek story -- a fantastic story about meeting robin williams on his first

appearance on david letterman and it was a story on robin williams and not norm mcdonald. the thing jim wrote for "time" magazine was fantastic. there are other people. one girl tweeted a selfie of herself crying. >> the poor dear. >> we know she was checking every 10 seconds how many favs and retweets she got and it is so gross. when it is people who knew him. i don't even have a problem with people tweeting links to their favorite movie. so what? it made them think. >> the office metaphor is talking about your favorite movie. what is wrong with that a? >> we went to see people in the movies because we like them. if they die we feel bad. it would be an awful country if somebody like that died and it is like back to business. >> it is at least 48 hours before that happens. when it comes to birth it would be a firth. a man-made womb could happen

in the next 30 years. yes the womb would be apart, separate from the woman. that's the subject of tonight's -- journalist zoltan reports that researchers are making progress on an artificial womb which he predicts would allow humans to breed without giving birth. the technology could help mothers avoid the dangers of bearing a baby, but women would also be giving up their sacred power. zoltan wonders will the mystique be lost by such an artificial process replaced by such a long main stay of the theme for the female domain. to weigh in we brought in a lively studio audience. i want to thank you all for joining us this evening. by a show of hands how many enjoy a good slim jim in the bathtub? i know it has nothing to do with the story, but i would

like to break the ice with a question about your private habits. we will be getting to you soon after this segment. >> i just hope it is an actual slim jim this time. >> you know, what bothers you about it? >> i don't want a baby. >> it is a good point. the way people look at sperm banks so men were not necessary, you could actually go and have a baby done at a baby farm. is that what it is? >> doesn't the penis go in the vagina? >> that was the good old days. not anymore. nobody does that anymore. >> you are so 2007. we have really moved along. >> what was your question? >> my question, will this fake womb eventually make it so women don't need to have children and they don't have to worry about careers being

interrupted. >> women like having babies. >> they do? >> they love it. it is hard and it sucks. >> you are really encouraging me right now. >> i watched two come out. it is horrifying. they will never give that up. >> you were there? >> oh yeah. i was on ecstasy. >> somehow i believe that. you know what, it was natural ecstasy. >> molly. >> what about you? you are a men's rights activist. >> mra. >> will this help men? >> i like to have an extra womb around just to store winter coats. >> this is a hundred years in the future. >> no they say 30 years. >> i am not understanding the story. >> it is like an incubator.

it is a womb that sits on the table. >> it reminds me of the movie michael creiton did and the brains are suspended. they are glass wombs and you can grow a baby. it is like a greenhouse. what do you think, an dwee? andy? you are a man with needs. >> i have no needs whatsoever. >> i think it will be a thing by the end of the century if not sooner. i think i am all for it. women can still have babies the old-fashioned way, but they can do it this way which is much cleaner and seem peller and a lot less bleeding. there are fewer smells. i think it might not be a bad choice. >> we are becoming wimps.

by we i mean you. i think once this becomes an actual thing, then real pregnancy will be a status symbol like being organic. >> or those people will be shun and shamed. if you think about it, a baby is a parasite. it lives in you and feeds off of you and needs you alive to live and to prosper. those people will be viewed as crazy. like i already view them. >> you were once a parasite. >> i was. i tricked her into keeping me there. i was 10 days late. i wanted to enjoy all of that for as long as i could. >> you have a sick, sad, strange strange -- you are a sick, sad, woman. >> i said greenhouse. i called 1-800-flowers and ordered the baby. >> this will be a revolution. >> it would save the whole getting nude part.

>> i read your article today. i mean the one last week. not the robin williams article. >> that will be the segue for the next piece. we will talk about that article in the b block. coming up,al monds, a great snack -- almonds, a great snack for losing weight? or a throat trap for the elderly? one of the panelists here wants to legalize prostitution. qh one is -- which one is it? it starts with j and ends in m and rhymes with em.

female narrator: the mattress price wars are on the mattress price wars are on at sleep train. we challenged the manufacturers to offer even lower prices. now it's posturepedic versus beautyrest with big savings of up to $400 off. serta icomfort and tempur-pedic go head-to-head

with three years' interest-free financing. plus, free same-day delivery, set-up, and removal of your old set. when brands compete, you save. mattress price wars are on now at sleep train. ♪ your ticket to a better night's sleep ♪ messing with the oldest profession? in an opinion piece for "time"

magazine and not the element of -- i don't know. what is the word? >> that's why you never improve. >> some guy named jim norton, and that name sounds vague be familiar, says we should legalize prostitution. a 25-year veteran of the pay for play sex scene and jim is a john that is a loyal, dedicated and not ashamed. he says, quote -- >> law enforcement stings designed to sting men paying for sex is the state blowing its own morality horn. >> instead norton says our focus should be on the health and safety of the sex workers and legalization would help in those counts. i blew up a photo of norton bringing home a prostitute.

>> to each his own. >> environmentally conscious. >> you weren't wearing a helmet though. >> do you agree with the author? >> i do. he was battling his own sex addictions. that's what it sounds like to me, a real fool. >> you can't keep your laws off my body. i got a lot of letters about that and hate mail. there is trafficking and pimps that are brutal and that's the disgusting part, but i don't believe it is the percentage that they say because i know sex workers. we can't tell people what choices to make a if they are making the choice because i find it disagreeable. >> do you have any idea how many prostitutes you slept with? >> no. i don't. >> over a thousand? >> no. how much money do you think i

have? what do you think i only see them once? >> that's what i thought. i thought you see them once. >> no. >> then why not just get a girlfriend? >> i had that and i realized it this was cheaper. >> terrible. don't applaud that. >> the option is this and there are fans you can end up and then you already there is a crazy element. if i know somebody is doing what they want and not feeling pressured, i would rather not have that psychotic element. >> i don't know why you are looking at me. >> are you pro john or pro jim? >> pro jim. i don't understand why the government wouldn't step in and take some money to protect people. i don't understand. >> it is definitely a long -- it is something based in a long-term tradition that has

nothing to do with common sense. if you are an adult, adding money and commerce to it in an i will -- in an i will -- illegal situation. >> they argue the trafficking wouldn't stop and the demand means the people will be trafficked in. there are not mutually exclusive things. you could focus it on them instead of pretending to do something instead morally policing them. >> you are just mad because they are going after the johns. >> is it going to hurt my career? >> it hurts my career if i haven't. >> earlier you said the author is -- quote, a dirty pervert you would never want to stand in the same room with. do you stand by this statement? >> he is at the table right now. i was going to say i never said that. i do have a question though.

is it like a tattoo that once you get one you want to keep doing it? really. oh you have to decide on the right tattoo or you can be stuck with it. >> i am loyal. i like one or two. >> do you have a rotation? >> not really anymore. i'm like what am i doing? i kind of want a girlfriend. >> any girl watching would say that's the guy. he is done with the hookers. >> he is the most honest man. >> you know what that says? i'm generous. >> you will never go home empty handed. >> i have no idea what that means. >> your thoughts?

not cats. >> i compare it to the war on drugs. it drives it under ground and makes it more deaning russ. if you legalize it and bring it to the light of day or at least the flood lights of night, it would be safer for the sex workers and safer for the johns and it should be done. can i ask this question? i have never -- i chickened out. i wouldn't do it. i couldn't do it. i was terrified. >> i don't think i could either. i am all for it being legal for other people. >> you can't leave. >> i feel like i am listening to a table full of people saying i never felt sunshine. >> sunshine happened to be her name. >> what is it like, jim? >> i actually am curious. it has never crossed my mind

when i was younger. i don't understand how it, would. in the old days you would just drive. >> and they all look like julia roberts. >> in midtown the men actually #r better looking. >> -- in midtown the men actually are better looking. >> pick up a gentleman. >> it is capitalism. >> oh i know. she has turned me on to activia. i have been regular ever since. thank god for jaime lee curtis. and "true lies" was a great movie. >> that's not her body.

>> that's a lie. who am i talking to? myself. coming up, courtney love blows millions of dollars. first a word from our sponsor. >> tonight's sponsor is swan songs in the key of geeks. it includes honk and hoping -- honk, honk, honk. this cd is for the birds. buy it now.

she had a ball while losing it all. courtney love admits she burned through $27 million in nirvana money. it is a band. as kurt cobain's widow and my nude spin partner, love had access to a massive fortune. she tells the british newspaper, quote, i know that's a lifetime of money to most people, but i'm a big girl. it is nirvana money. i had to let it go. translation, drugs are fun. indeed she said, i had to run very fast to look after my money and i felt cocaine had to do that. i started taking cocaine. >> how fast does your money run. >> she had friends. when they saw when she would like to do they hung out with her. >> her countless mc hammer.

terrible, tear -- terrible money handler. >> she looks great. >> her personality is great. she pinched my nipples and it made me crazy. she needs money. >> you could be next. she was 30 when her husband died. shouldn't she have been a little smarter with her fortune. it is not like she was 16. >> yeah, but it is courtney love and that's what i expect her to do. spend a lifetime of money because we all have $27 million. i like how she protected the songs from kentucky fried chicken. she said no to that. >> she fought for kfc, but not for her child? >> pretty much. how bad what that be. >> i love kfc.

i love the smell of it. but i feel sick afterwards. >> she turned down $6 million for 18 seconds of a per chal. -- commercial. dumb move. >> if they paid her in crack she would have said yes. >> you can bang out anna divita divita with a hammer. >> iron butterfly. >> boo! boo! go and get a hooker. you know what it would be for kfc. it is an extra crispy creamy ranch. dye yaw rhea. >> do you think her daughter feels better? >> i don't believe he blew through the $27 million.

apparently cocaine is a horrible investment strategy. that's what i learned from the article. it wasn't her money it was the money of someoney she probably killed. you are pacing that on the lead singer of the mentors. >> in a sense it wasn't -- i get her point. it was not her money. it was money she got because her husband killed himself. it is like i don't want this money and i will get rid of it. >> glued money. >> here is my theory. i think she said this as a lie to get people off her back and people wouldn't call like other relatives and asking for money. i blew the money so leave me alone. does this make you think instead of dating athletes to date rock stars?

>> i respect her a lot. she sees an opportunity and takes what she deserves and then gets rid of it. it is like take and purge. >> i was going to say poor dave groll at that board meeting. >> no chris. we have beat this one up. is elation not anticipated? according to a new study -- i was supposed to change that. a pleasant surprise makes us happier than if we expected something to be great. if you 20 to a restaurant and it is the happiest you have ever even. slow news day. explained one researcher, quote, happiness is not how

well you are doing in general, but rather you are doing better than expected. they caution that lowering exspeg -- expectation leads to discontent and bestiality. jason this happens with movies. you remember movies you thought would so ck. >> people thought my movie would be crap. they assumed it would be crap and then they are pleasantly surprised. >> i like the story a lot. i am a white male and things should be great for me and they are not. >> having a rough time? >> it is awful. brutal in l.a. c's cut throat. >> jim, do you buy this? you are generally pessimistic. >> i live for a pleasant surprise. what is better than a pleasant surprise? you are in the car and you hear -- well that was a pleasant surprise.

>> you mean you a lovely cheese burger and you swallowed without choking? >> absolutely. >> that was in order to save the joke. >> it is still not a joke. it is awful. >> you are surprised it only takes one box of wine instead of two. >> it looks really small. it is like new year's eve. it feels like a great night. best night ever and will get so drunk and ring in the new year and it is always awful. i do what my mother tells me, hope for the best and secretary the worst:. i am usually an optimist. >> you never experienced is it and never will experience it in your possibly short

planet. you are unable to find a semblance of peace as you stalk the cat food aisles in various places in bow day go. >> can you repeat the question? were you talking to me? >> occasionally it doesn't and i get to be pleasantly surprise. this is a fan stays stick way to go through -- fantastic way to go through life. >> i am never satisfied. i am always pissed off. i try to change myself, but i i cannot change a and i will always be pissed off. >> better to be pissed off than pissed on. >> not according to jim. >> i will tell you it is slightly cheaper to go that

way. you have your thing and he has sis. sis-- his. >> i don't drink alcohol. >> and i don't touch that stuff. to each his own. >> or her own. >> i canned that phrase. when we come back, an espn radio host shows something intense tiff. didn't we do this story yesterday? praption. "not cool" order it. get an autographed copy from g gutfeld.com.

he made a claim that the south is to blame. at a sprint car race on saturday night tony stewart struck and killed a driver who climbed out of his car after a wreck. an espn radio host thinks he knows why kevin ward died. colin cowherd says it goes back to southern culture. listen y'all. >> the sport has a unique culture i am not part of and i am not a gear head and not from the south and not an eye for an eye guy. 24r* is a certain southern culture that it doesn't matter where you are from and a lot of nascar drivers are from mississippi, wisconsin, new york, california, arizona, it is a southern delicacy. it doesn't get ratings really anywhere outside the south in

the major cities of atlanta, charlotte. that's not to say people don't watch it in other parts, but it is part of the south. it is an eye for an eye culture. >> the guy died because of the south is what he is saying. one member of ward's family knows who she is blaming. aunt wendy posting, thanks for thinking of our family, tony stewart when you decided to be a [bleep]. a friend of ward says while he doesn't think stewart meant to hit ward he should be put in prison for life. i go to our nascar expert joanne -- just kid -- cigd. you were the world's only jewish nascar fan. what is your take on what happened? >> i don't want to talk about it. my overall take on it, right

now, nobody except tony stewart knows the reason. anyone who says they do -- >> or does -- that was a little southern. the one thing i am confident in saying is i am close to 100% there is absolutely no way he intentionally hit and killed ward. he either didn't see him in time to get out of the way so he ended up sideswiping him or he was trying to spray mud on him and miss judged it. i don't think cow herd's point is ridiculous. the roots of nascar are southern. i don't know if i i would use the phrase eye for an eye. drivers get out of their vehicles in nascar. tony stewart has done it and they throw the helmet at the car that hit them. not to get too technical, but the dirt track race where this happened was an open wheel

race. that is not even a southern thing. cowherd was wrong about that. but what he said was not that ridiculous. >> we just got -- >> i may disagree. i don't think it is a southern th-ng. that's where he went wrong with making the generalization. it is more of the sport thing. there is an adrenaline that is going. the eye for the eye, the outbursts that happen are a part of the game. it is a part of the competition. you would have the same -- you do this to me and i will do this for you. >> would you step in front of the arrow in archery. >> it makes sense if you are an angry 20-year-old guy like if you just -- this completely -- the guy who is wearing dark clothing at night

with a background of darkness and running at a car. he might have seen something, but he probably didn't even know what it was. the other driver claimed he could clearly see him. >> the whole thing was a recipe for disaster. >> i don't like the way the guy is getting crap for what he said. it is like, okay, that's what you think. >> did he get suspended? >> yes. >> no. >> not yet. >> are you sure? >> yeah. >> i thought he did. >> that was another guy. >> if i said the guys guys in boston they love to interrupt and fight. >> you can get in trouble for that. the women will say so do we. nascar grew out of bootleggers. it is southern, but it is rebels and the bad boys. they act like that and the

sport of nascar encourages it. that's one of the things they told the drivers because they want that to happen. >> i think we solved that dilemma. coming up, one word, do you have video of your animal? send them to us.

female narrator: it's posturepedic versus beautyrest it's posturepedic versus beautyrest with up to $400 off. serta icomfort and tempur-pedic go head-to-head with three years' interest-free financing. mattress price wars are on now at sleep train. ♪ your ticket to a better night's sleep ♪

hilarious. he doesn't recommend anybody, but he was like give me the full pitch and loved it. funny and original and really psyched. you got the job. >> are you crying? >> oh my god, i am so sorry. >> i just had a really hard year. >> that is a clip from the new movie. it was written and directed by jason nash. luckily jason nash is here and let's ask a few questions. what is the movie about, jason? >> it is about when you fall

in love -- it is when you find love before you find yourself. so being in a relationship where i always say one person is always doing better in a relationship you. it is being the person who pays the cable bill or puts the dog down. i would put the dog down of the. >> i did put the dog down on my own. >> you have a lot of great people in the movie. do they all owe you money? >> i oh them money. >> were you surprised when you got the role? >> i additioned myself and i liked what i did. i titled the movie after nash. >> your wife is in it.

>> i saw her on "freaks and geeks." i called her and made the movie for $10,000. i shot it at my house for two years. i emulated what was going on with my wife and she became my wife. >> the big premiere is in brooklyn. >> the premiere is in brooklyn? >> yes. >> get it at itunes or amazon. do we have time for this? >> she was internet famous. she has a new video. >> now that prancercise is in fashion develop some fitness straight from the heart.

>> jim you are excited over this. what do you think of the guy in the swee bra -- zebra pants? >> i like that he didn't wear any under wear for the video series. he probably additioned with underwear and she said that will not do. >> probably thought it was a different kind of video. >> i think it is beautiful. >> i like how the horses are literally running away. >> and the good thing about this is if she broke her leg she would have to be put down. >> and jason would put her down. we have to go.

joanne, jason, jim norton. i'm greg gutfeld. see you next time. huh, fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. everybody knows that. well, did you know words really can hurt you? what...? jesse don't go! jesse...no! i'm sorry daisy, but i'm a loner. and a loner gotta be alone. heee yawww!

geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. jesse?

hello, everyone. this is "the five." now whenever a comedian dies tragically, the headline always reads sad clown. it's the cliche, laughter is born from suffering. but comics are like construction workers. once in awhile a great one falls, like last night. remember when you first saw him. >> remember me? you once called me the nutso from