>> i am i mean >> everyone thought i was exaggerate bug i meant it er literally.

>> what did the president think about red eye. >> it is like groundhog day but y. not funny. ri >> and meet a cheetah who ages revers in reverse and gets cuter as he gets older. >> is the vice president having ding t trouble understanding the ending of "the sixth sense". >> i don't get it. i really don't. it perplexes me the most. >> is the president rethinking his thoughts about the moon landing. >> itab don't make no sense. it's just not true. thank you, god bless you. god bless america. >> none of these stories on red eye tonight. >> and now let's welcome our guests. he's been drinking since noon. i'm here with the walking decanter. her wit is dryer than a mummy's eye socket. it's bonnieie mcfarland. >> and his own tears praying for death it's y.

andy levy. and even when he kills time he buries it in a shallow grave. >> isis putin, north korea, ebola, adam levine. 2014 was the worst year ever. 365 days of evil. i'm not kidding. take a look. ♪ >> but while the world was going in a to hell in a hell basket we focused onfa fake evil. roll montage person who rolls

montage. >> white privilege. >> white privilege. >> whitete privilege. >> white privilege. >> it was on everyone's list. t earlier this month a professor in texas asked her students to conduct a white privilege wake assignment and there was many de other substitutes for real evil bstitu like a rocket scientist's racy shirt. he helped land a probe on a comment but he was slammed for his sexist attire and forced to apologize. >> the shirt i wore this week i made a big mistake. i know it offend many people and i'm very sorry about this. >> that meant something. >> in the face of real terror we worried about false threats much like this dog.

♪ >> it's a metaphor for 2014. scared of false threats, ignoring the real ones. 2014 seems like the worst year ever. i could be wrong. in 1972 i had braces. that was bad. is there more evil in the world or we reporting more of it? >> we're reporting more of it. i don't think it's the worst year ever but it's there was a confluence of events and activities that some of them seemed unconnected. but overall is this the blame obama segment? it's due to our weak foreign our

policy. and so, but for me the worst in part of the whole thing in this year, it was the year that we finally watched the final death throes of factual relevance. so i think between the rolling stone article that incredibly inane cia report that came out you know anything that related to dunham we got rid of the importance of facts. >> i mean really, did we need all the facts? all the time? fact, fact, fact? let's be creative. >> facts were holding us back. n >> throughout the show we'lle go every live toon scenes from new year's eve. for let's go live to london. ♪

>> a good friend of mine. can we go back to that scene? ♪ bonnie, that was scary. was it is a scary year? was there something that scared you in particular? >> i think it was a terrible year. and i don't know if -- i'll get over it but it's george clooney did get married. >> that's true. >> which -- >> yes, i know. amal. >> what else happened? did anything else happen? >> that was it. you were in touch with current events and that was good.oped i know that joanne you maintained a steady buzz. was alcohol the answer? >> yeah. i like to stay constantly me medicated. i hit the box whenever i'm

feeling emotional.em but that's the thing, though, that's the real evil.used it's facts.s.af we used to be afraid of t feelings. but now this country just runs on feelings and feelings are thepriority priority. whose feelings are hurt and elings whose feelings d do we have to fix.f so i choose to not feel and i e think we're going to see more . escapism with gamers and ers. boozers. >> i think it's good to be ood comfortably numb. andy two questions did evil grow because america shrunk and do americ you thinak that things will get hink better in 2015? you are an optimist? >> i'm not sure that america shrunk but it's just cold.about i wouldn't worry about that too much. i have one quibble. ebola isn't evil it's not a virus. it's not choosing to be bad like let's n george clooney getting married. i look at it this way, we get to the v focus on certain things because the vast majority of the evil is happening in other parts of the

world. we don't live in ukraine or north korea or the middle east. but one of the obvious exceptions is adam levine. but we can focus on a shirt and whether our society favors one race over another because we don't have to deal with the threats on a daily basis. basically what i'm saying is that we have the ability to talkut about privilege because we are rivile privileged and that's okay. i have no doubt if we were s thrust into a world war ii type imminent threat i think we would table those things in a heart beat and win the war and get w back to discussing them. >> i'm not sure that is a fact. we have had threats but we are i preoccupied with some things. i want to look at a live look at red eye fans waiting outside our studio.

there's so young, mike. >> did someone told them jim norton was here doing a show? >> that was not necessary. do we have to go to break? before we go to break andy levy dy was on the wrong side of issues all year. defend robert red ford and dan robe rather, the islamic state. l snowden has no friends and livess in isolation. defend him.ichell defend your hero, michelle defe obama. defend your hero's barack hussain obama.a.efend please defend your hero charles manson.>> go ahead and defend your hero, president obama's hair. defend your heroes the costume wearing perverts and heathens.our go ahead and defend your heroes

the renewable energy protesters. the muslim bloggers. defend your heroes that wild group of violent women. defend your heroes, the makers of this annoying video. the snowden loving clay eating flower child. defend your hero, the epa hallway pooper. that boy from transformers.cloone your hero, george clooney. >> absolutely. >> that wasn't long at all. we have to take a break. >> happy 2016 everyone. >> any way. we're going to be talking about 2016. the combination of john scott's tt's locker. he doesn't know it's me leaving him those weird notes.s but first what stories frightened our frightened st correspondent? all of them. stick around.

2014 was a scary year and nobody was more scared than our frightened correspondent, joe mackie. let's look at what frightened him the most. south carolina is in the middle of the east coast. should the eastern sea board be on high alert. >> i don't think that would be on high alert. that is miloest state of readiness. they have to attack the cannibal fish. >> a great white was eaten by a bigger cannibal great white shark. not only are they growing in numbers they are also eating each other. what does this mean? >> pop the champagne. sharks are eating sharks. the enemy of my enemy is my

friend. that doesn't work in the middle east or the ocean. >> are you afraid of cannibal rats? >> a bowl full of cannibal rats were the strongest to survive starts breeding in our rats and now we have superrats. >> now in australia they have the four different homes to fight the toilet snakes. are you bothingering to use indoor bathrooms any more? >> not without using bleach. they hate bleach. >> they hate bleach. is the snake community sharing information that toilets are a nice place to hang out? >> the snakes know we are complacent and growing up there were a lot of pranks where the kids would say there is a snake in the toilet. that wasn't a snake.

>> a british woman learned that the scratching sound she had been hearing in her head since returning home from a trip to peru was not an ear infection but maggots. she got them in peru but this could happen anywhere. >> this could happen anywhere. that is a big problem. apparently maggots don't know if your are dead or not. >> doctors tried to flush them with olive oil. is that safe? >> that's a good idea if you are trying to try out the terrible ideas first. >> a rhode island middle school is warning parents of a growing trend of teens smoking or snorting smarties candy. is this a gateway drug or gateway to fun? >> it's a gateway drug. most people who tried big league chew are dead or in jail.

>> does it have to be smarties? >> you don't even have to crush up pixy sticks. they are precrushed. >> is this a good thing though? robots could be our sexual entertainment objects. >> i don't think it's a good thing. that is creepy. they start out as strippers. but they ask to be called exotic dancers and before you know it all the people are dead. >> they say dark matter helps keep the milky way from spinning apart but it has the potential to hurl comets into the inner solar system. could we build a space net? >> what if the space net fails and falls back to earth and now we're covered with a net. >> that is true. >> coming up as we do every year i'll reveal which of my interns lives to see tomorrow and some other stuff.

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2014 what a stupid rotten dog of the year. before we blow its brains out, let's look back so much happened good -- nothing good. one of our producers put together a video that captures the highlights, and low lights of news, and pop culture. here's a look back at 2014. ♪

>> tear down this wall. ♪ >> clearly, he didn't follow my instructions but let's have a conversation any way. kflgss are fun. >> well. >> maybe. what were your favorite moments? >> my favorite moments? >> yes. >> don't set me up like that. you always list 18 things we're not allowed to say and are like what are your favorite moments? i thought it was a topsyturvy kind of year. i mean, george clooney got married. our favorite tv dad comedian allegedly raped 97 women. the only thing we can count on any more is ralsism. and -- >> that's something you hold on to. >> you can cling.

>> as a country. >> that's your security blanket. hatred for other people. that is beautiful, bonnie. what about you, baker? >> favorite moments? honestly it's always the same. any time i get to spend with my family, wife, daughter, three little boys what a moment. >> what about your other family? >> them too. >> at your age. balancing it out a little bit. >> at your age there is usually the one family and the other secret family. >> any time i can spend with any family in any state in the nation. >> let's go live to moscow, russia. this is a hungover edward snowden leaving his apartment building in disguise. [ speaking foreign language ]. >> interesting.

joanne's favorite moment? >> favorite and worst favorite, least favorite moment would be >> yes. good call. >> this has been a year of apologies and hash tags my favorite hash tag when barbie did that unapologetic with "sports illustrated." >> that was a key moment. >> usually i'm a fan of barbie shaming but in this case i will not shame a doll. >> yes. >> what about you, andy? >> it was a crammy year. the best mome pop culture related.e "true detective" the fun of "guardians of the galaxy." but i would like to challenge mike baker to name all of his kids right now.me i don't think he can do it. >> that's horrible. >> i couldn't do it. >> scooter muzzie and that's let's

p it. >> let's pause to acknowledge our wonderful sponsors this year. >> red eye has been brought to you by blackjack insurance.s mountain lou.hirt i all the fun of shooting a l t-shirt into a crowd. the social ladder board game, the pursuit of happiness fun for the family. the candle winebra. the william duvet. it can be yours for four easy payments of gold. the school bully alarm clock. the jeremy irons waffle iron. what can be better than looking iron. at jeremy iron's face and eating it. the refried bean bag chair. fa and the island nation noman.

the next time tells you no man is an island you can tell them, yes, it is. thanks sponsors. >> that's nicnice. >> coming up, the countdown to end all countdowns.

welcome to 1:00 a.m. on the east coast. let's go to scene from new year's eve in times square where people are still celebrating. [ screaming ]. >> that wraps up our new year's eve special 2014. good-bye bad year. a special thanks to my guests. it's almost midnight in the midwest. let's start down their countdown.

ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. >> we are live from the united states capitol building. we are live at the. i'm at the officer's memorial from houston, texas. >> washington, d.c. from new york city. were you a cub scout? >> i was a cub. >> were you any good? >> no. but i was a cub and guess hot den mother was. i. >> i hate to guess it was your mother? >> sounds like a ham sandwich to me. >> i couldn't agree with you more greta. >> pretty good. room for improvement. >> you'll come back. >> i don't know. it's a very short interview. >> welcome to a special edition of "on the record" the best of 2014. over the next hour we're going to bring you some of the bigger stories and some our favorite moments from last year from politics to crime and everything in