e green room he told me. make sure you watch it see you at 10:00 p.m. 7:00 p.m. eastern. in fact every night 7 p.m. eastern. tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye" what is an average morning chute like for lou daabs? the world's most electrifing newsman shows us how to do it by air land and sea. and what was the score of the president and joe biden's latest tennis match before it got rained out? >> i was losing 59 -- 56-17. think about that for a minute. >> and finally horse haircuts. are they a cheap way to get a new look. are they all blade and no fade? none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> and now let's welcome our guest. grab your green eggs because

here comes the ham. i am here with mary katherine ham. she is back from vacation, but her liver is not. it is the always pickled but rarely tickled joanne foe saw chin ski. and he is wearing a suit so i didn't recognize him. tv's andy levey. that's good. and he stacks money like rob reiner stacks cheese. it is true his bank had to open up another branch just to fit his fortune. next to me is mr. lou daabs week nights at 7:00 p.m. eastern on the fox business network. don't forget he also wrote the book border war. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> would he be a better man to sit with letterman? on saturday, a day of the week nbc nightly news anchor

and my ski ball partner brian williams announced he was taking a temporary leave of absence. he canceled an appearance this week on letterman and said it was painfully apparent that he was, quote too much a part of the news. meanwhile, more examples of his love of self-inflating stories have emerged including the claim he saw a dead body floating past the french quarter hotel during hurricane caw tina. another -- katrina. and he said in interviews he was nearly hit by rocket fire in 2006. but an earlier version, there was no rocket fire near his aircraft. and a story williams told about being mugged at gunpoint selling christmas trees has local residents scoffing. scoffing sounds like fun. williams claims he was tht middle of a firefight, but it was just a koala fight.

>> 30 years of marriage summarized in 10 seconds with two weird bears. all right, lou, you have run into brian williams in your tre -- travels? >> travels? >> travels is something bad. we haven't talked about this. what are you shaking your head for? i totally ruined the first question? >> i am laughing at mary katherine hamm and she is our guest and i am being polite. >> what do you make of his stories? >> i believe every one of them. he is one of the most trusted anchors this the country.

why would anybody not believe what he would say? that's what i say. you think it is unfair? >> i think it is absolutely unfair. it is one of the most important words of our time. irrespective of the facts. >> he has been lying about a lot of things. do you think he is lying about his leave of absence? do you buy that? >> it is only one of the stories that's been corroborated. i am giving it some credence. >> once you open the door all of the toys start falling out. >> this is the problem when you lie and you belt years of trust and it is gone in a moment and people will dig around and find what else you lied about. and his job is literally to see things and to tell the truth about what he sees. then if your memory fails you you are followed by a crew of

people who are literally recording everything you are doing. >> they are not going to second guess me because i am brian williams. >> joe, you took a temporary leave of absence to go to costa costa rica and i am guess guessing you spent the whole time drunk. >> i named him fred. >> rest in peace, fred. do you think williams has a right to take a leave of absence? >> i do. we have all been in this boat and you need some time to collect your thoughts to talk to your publicist and hope the nudies don't come out. you are in the news and you really can't do it. if he is hoping that this is just going to go away or some other big story will come along, i don't think so. you have had a very long career. and now people are going to be constantly looking for these other things like a cheating

boyfriend. >> that's true. >> all of the late nights at the office. >> that's why it is good to be like me and be fired often. then you don't have much of a trail. should he have canceled his letterman appearance? >> i think he had to. look, i think if he had gone on that show it might have been a good place to try to rehabilitate himself. i also think you can't take a leave of absence from your real job and then go on a late fight talk show. that looks weird. as america's most trusted newsman stuff like that bothers me. what you are seeing now people are calling into question the integrity of the whole system. i work in that system. i think the best thing is to move on and mistakes are made and let's look to the future instead. >> he tainted your rep pew -- reputation. >> he has and my lies have yet

to be discovered. >> he says this is an example of another media enjoying the down fall. >> i think the down fall is perpetuated by his own actions. and it happened in spite of the media helpful and not because of. >> the media is starting to come to his defense. you are seeing all sorts of essays. what i find fascinating is the announcement. he said he is too much a part of the news. he has become the news. brian williams starts diminishing his role in something, anything. >> he is the new hue -- huey lewis. >> it is like these plagiarists. they find one thing and people start going hmm and they start digging and what do you know? someone who is plagiarized plagiarizeed a bunch of

times. >> and next thing is they are vice president. >> the next sing is to run for public office. >> he is quite qualified. he had little praise for morning phase. kanye west stormed the stage to protest beyonce not winning album of the year which went to beck. >> i need some help. come back. >> kanye later said he was kidding and congratulated beck on his album. >> i just know if the grammys, if they want real artists coming back they have to stop playing with us. beck needs to respect artistry and given his award to beyonce. we are tired of it. when you keep on diminishing

art and not respecting the craft and smacking people in the face after they deliver monumental feats of music you are disrespectful to inspiration. i am here to fight for creativity. that's the reason i didn't say anything. but y'all know what it meant when ye walked on the stage. >> if slayer was there he wouldn't have done it. >> maybe it was anne klein. he had to use a teleprompter for their new song called rock or bust. sample lyrics are in rock we trust. it was repeated seven times. >> how did viewers react at home? >> i just know if the grammys want real artists coming back they need to stop playing with

us. beck needs to respect artist re-ask given his award to beyonce. at this point we tired of it. >> you have been friends with con yea -- with kanye and kim for a longtime. we tweeted a picture. >> it was terrific. and i found his whole rift there inspirational. he did so uh -- sussinctly. with the journalism and music his brevity and the ability to condense. man did he condense. >> he spoke from his heart. >> that's one of the things that makes him terrific. he always brings the passionate expotion sure of his -- exposure of his vulnerable being. it is wonderful. >> it really is. was he being rude or was he just being kanye this. >> i am mad because we saw the tape and that was dana

carvey's moment in the sun and he comes up there -- there is the thing about kanye. he said he is the greatest innovator of all time and he can't think of two prept stunts stunts -- two different stunts to pull at the grammys. same one different guy. >> and again he will not go after a giant band of death metallers. does beck not respect artist re as kanye says? >> he doesn't. he is named after a beer. beck's. there is an s. i wasn't sure if people would put two and two together. >> it was a valiant try. >> it may not be art you enjoy, but there are people who enjoy it. just because you don't enjoy it kanye doesn't mean he does president deserve an award. kanye is attacking the grammys saying they commercial liesed what should be art and inspiration. and yet he just performed that evening and he goes to the

award shows constantly and he has won like 40 grammys? they said it yesterday. i am not good with numbers, lou. if you really don't stand for it then stop going. >> beyonce has a hell of a publicist though. >> he is entitled to an opinion, but he is simpl entitled. he just feels entitled. beck is a slight man. you can eat soup out of his chest. what if it was joss from queen of the stone age? i keep bringing it up. if it was josh from queen of the stone age who is 6-4 he would to the do this. >> you are probably right. i don't mind what kanye said after the show. he is giving the opinion. it is the jumping on stage thing. you don't do that. after the show give your opinion. i would like to think beyonce heard about this and is like who cares? stop it.

i am not asking you to do this. >> until tonight i never understood what a a morality play the grammys is. >> it is amazing. before we go on to other things the worst thing about the grammys or any award shows are the people that are on the red carpet. they have to sit there and babble incoherently. as famous people walk by and don't give them the time of day, but every now and then they will get somebody famous and totally screw it up like this. >> we have ziggy marley. hello, sir. how are you? come on up. >> how are you? >> looking beautiful. >> were you just in apsen? >> no. >> no, you weren't performing there? >> damion was there, that's right. saw him on the ski slopes. he is looking good. >> that was an excellent stage.

>> i guess all marley's look alike. they are all from the same family. people in families do look alike. if you were to say andy looked like your brother. >> the more they are a brand the more they are recognizable. >> she will find it funny. looking good. did i miss anything here? >> ac/dc with the teleprompter. i get that. first of all they ain't 22. >> they are older. >> the lyrics are rock or bust in rock we trust. it is hard to confuse it with rock and roll ain't noise pollution and rock and roll ain't gonna die. i don't blame them for all. >> they sounded great. >> and i think they were nervous. that was the first time they ever played the grammys. are you a big ac/dc fan? >> no.

i had children who are. >> what about abcd? >> same deal. >> you like order. you are a man who likes order. >> i would like to say i saw them at the nassau coliseum. when the cannons went off i feared for my life because the whole place shook. >> they shook you all nightlong. >> one quick thing, madonna i admire her ability to reinvent herself over and over again. a 40-year-old woman in a boost yea, a 50-year-old woman in a a 60-year-old in a because yea. >> except now it was on her butt. >> it really warmed my heart. stoners don't have to be loners thanks a new dating app called hi there. grab your birkenstocks and bongos. we will discuss this at the -- pot smokers create profiles and it sounds like a lot of

other work. swipe right or swipe left. they are determined not only bi-lo location, but by your preference of ingestion. bong smokers will keep up with bong smokers. joining us now is a couple who met through the app. those two are going to make it work. have you set up a profile yet, head case? >> obviously i asked bill o'reilly to set up one as well. here is the thing. what is a better place to find someone to order pizza with sit on your couch and watch netflix which is what relationships are about. this is the perfect place. >> men don't have to -- anyway. i will leave my opinion for later. lou, should marijuana be a deal breaker in

relationships? >> i have been away for your opinion on this. if it is important, if it is that important number one in your world, why not? >> here is the way i look at it andy if a pot smoker meets up with a pot smoker no one will ever be persuaded to quit. there is always somebody who says i have had enough. it is a lush looking for a lush. >> at first i was like this is no different than a website for people who have other similar interests like playing 10 this and watching old movies. if a drug means so much to you that it is going to determine your choice of potential mates, you might have a problem. you might want to think about that. >> the site is for the people who have been dumped before because of their recreational activities. maybe it is not your pry rt majority -- like your priority is the gongo. can i say that on tv? >> i don't know. i don't smoke pot.

i don't want to be in a relationship with somebody that does it a lot. i don't like the smell. >> you want to date somebody who can hide it. >> don't we have them sequestered though? >> there may be a weird darwinian process. >> it is like letting them peter out so to speak. here is my feeling about this, the only women i know do drugs do them because of a man doing them. the guy will just find a woman and start smoking dope until he throws her out. >> for the strong independent female potheads out there. let me say that is not true. >> it is extremely seemist. sexist. but to joanne's marginal point they are tired of being judged. they want to go somewhere else. that was an interesting

topic. lou daabs looks at my investment portfolio. but first what shouldn't you say on college campuses? who knows? i can't go within 500 feet.

they teach limiting speech. the university of michigan spent 16 grand on a new campaign warning students what they should and shouldn't say. posters from the inclusive language campaign caution against crazy gay, tranny and

kill me. phrases like "i want to die" should also be avoided. students at the publicly funded university have been asked to sign a pledge promising to, quote, use inclusive language and to teach their peers the importance of being inclusive. meanwhile, in other college news the university of association board passed the resolution calling for school officials to financially divest from the united states. the school cited the drone program among reasons for pulling funding. speaking of not knowing what to do with money. >> i am troubled by that video. mary katherine just to be safe should we eliminate all figures of speech?

everything is literal. >> it is so very pathetic. >> pathetic is on the list. it hurt someone's feelings. it may hurt their feelings and then not say those things. end of story. end of story. that's what college is about. >> we will have very very weak people wandering the earth. shouldn't they listen to the students about where to invest? >> you are right. the country fleedz one more, one more orthodox of thought to be established that would take us to where we belong. i thought the students showed great courage and urging the university to divest. and i think the next step will be for these courageous young men and women and they will tell the taxpayers we don't

need your money for our stinking -- >> beyond that the students shouldn't be eligible for federal student loans. >> these are highly principalled people. >> what about the products they use? what about iphones and ipads? they shouldn't be using those. >> if it is american you should have nothing to do with it. even if chinese money is buying it. >> i agree completely. joanne, what do you make of this? >> they are appalled at the human rights violations in this country. there are a host of other countries that are far worse off in that area but it is safe to pick the argument from here. you don't have the freedoms to do so. so, yeah i mean kids today -- >> kids today. >> and i don't think it is fair to say they don't like america's human rights record. they also don't like israel's human rights.

>> they found one country. >> there is the diagram of people who voted for obama and voted for the divesting like this. >> who is ben? >> he said same as. >> and brother to sven. >> why do you have to throw that in my face? >> it is called the inclusive campaign. it seems to me you would be behind this 100% because you find lange wenl to be every bit as violent as violent action. >> i don't like calling it a campaign for two reasons. people are legitimately in pain. there are people who have bad experiences at camp. i am not happy about that. the thing is i disagree with mary katherine hamm.

she says anything that offends one person you shouldn't say it. you said it earlier. i was sitting here ski heard you say it. i disagree with you. sometimes speech can hurt. >> it can. >> but this is example number 800 million. >> if you can't see the difference between saying something bad is gay or saying jewed him down or saying i want to die or that is crazy you need help. you have to get yourself some help. >> although i am a fan of thesauruses or thesauri. and i think kids need to expand their vocabulary but it shouldn't take $16,000 to teach them how to do it. >> it did hurt my feelings and we should ban it in the future. >> i don't like she said thesaurus.

>> i have a list. by the way to correct you you said $800 million and that's an exaggeration. it is based on the assumption that people can't handle criticism. we will be creating the incredibly weak people. >> darwin again. >> but then there is the other people that are enforcing it out of their own desire for control. so you have the idea that there are weak people, but people that are pushing it are doing it for the sake of power because it feels good. >> and a total lack of grace for your fellow man, excuse me, human being. >> you know what i say, earth ling. >> there are no aliens. >> i thought you said earth ling. >> we are canabalistic. anybody who eats a cow or a

lamb you are canabalistic. >> chickens are adorable. glad we solved that problem. >> we didn't solve anything did we? >> coming up, the robot revolution. it is deadly and it is coming and you are next. maybe not, but anyway first a word from our sponsor. >> tonight's sponsor is from the makers of blackjack and the only roulette approved by lou daabs. thanks.

first, they come for our hair and next our souls. a woman in south korea while she slept on the floor. it is the subject of our new segment. it is starting. it is starting america, the 52-year-old says the vacuum sucked up her hair. unable to free herself she called the fire department for help.

this robot wouldn't quit. two paramedics that makes four eventually came -- >> that's terrible. >> i just thought of it. >> the two paramedics came and thank god rescue had her and she is doing well. this is it. granted she was sleeping on the floor when the robot attacked her. but is this the gipping of the robo-appliance uh apocalypse? >> as you and bill gates have said artificial intelligence is to be feared and feared obviously sooner than we thought . once again you are right. it has started. >> that's why the segment is called it started. >> i got it right away. >> exactly. all right if we can't trust them to vacuum, a very simple thing that used to be done by women.

how can we trust them with anything? this was supposed to free you up. >> and smoke weed. i think this is an innovation because i used to have to have a cat to try and kill me in my sleep and now we have robots to do that who don't require feeding. >> that's true. that's not a serious answer. it is starting. the terminator began did you think it was schwarzenegger walking around? no it was a robot. the little thing on the ground it is like little fetuses made of machines. >> but can they climb this if you are on the bed are they safe? >> what a silly question. >> why do i give up so easily. i am weak. >> you are weak.

we called this when the show first started and we have tape. we will drop that in. >> i it was way before there was even twitter i was talking about this. we said it would start small. this is it the vacuum. >> as you well know the only thing i have in my apartment is to practice tai chi and i sleep on it. my senses are so honed and heightened that there is no way they can get close enough to me. if you have a roomba, don't sleep on the floor. there is no question about it. this can only be attributed to human error. this thing is always -- the

roomba9,000 series has a perfect operational record. >> this is exactly what they said. >> the idea that she would respond violently. who knows what harm awaits those who respond defensively. >> this is a wonderful business opportunity for south korea. you can sell helmets and hair nets and a box spring. >> it is also entirely possible that she needed a haircut and the machine was trying to be helpful and the thanks that we give the machine that tries to be helpful is we call medics? >> i am for pittbulls. >> all they need are the

kilts. they are developing the scottish accents. they found the chimps that move from scandinavia are altering their grunt for apple to match the grunt of the scottish counterpart. here is is how they said apple in 2010. >> pretty different. three years later frequent was more like luci. >> it doesn't sound like a chimp. it sounds like somebody doing something else. let's take a look at a chimp with an even more developed scottish accent. >> the guy from wal-mart went

door-to-door they made their money from scratch. >> that was beautiful. all right, lou do they sound scottish to you? what does this mean? >> canadians. >> they sound lower and more sure of themselves and more traveled. it was the first thing i inferred from what i heard. ground breaking research. it means their language adapts. first of all i would like to know what they say about the scandinavian chimps who are perfectly well traveled. it will be your worst coming to life.

>> if you find the chimps with the scottish accent sexier because they are from someplace cool? >> a little bit. it is like the actor. he was dreamy. >> he was in the train movie. >> and the train wouldn't stop. >> no, not that one. >> this is a classic example of the man having to change for the woman. he comes into her house and says you have to pick up after yourself. you have to lower the voice and it is a little too loud and high pitched. >> i don't like the way you say apple. >> get it yourself. >> what is the deal? you are a monkey. you can climb up and get an apple. can't chimps say anything other than apples? i say evolution in quotes. it is to apease certain viewers.

i think in the 5,000 years the earth has been around i believe chimps have changed their lange wenl. their lange wenl. he is playing the game and acting more like her. >> he will die like seven years before her and that's how it ends. >> that's what happens. what did you expect? it proves how easily we are maleable by our own surroundings. it is where you were born. if i was born in pakistan i would be muslim. let's face it. i would be muslim greg. >> how do you though they would have you? >> would wore name be greg? >> no it would be something else. >> you would be born overseas and muslim. >> wow, all right. >> the fact that i had to explain that to you, greg, scares me.

>> coming up, the first lady on mac and cheese great story. order it now and i will forget about it. amazon.com. first, here is what is coming up on kennedy. >> hi, friends. on the next kennedy, my old friend bill will be here. we will see you at 7:00 pacific on the fox business network. get some sleep and we will meet up later.

mac and cheese is under attack and cheese. michelle obama is trying to quell-kraft. war on mac and cheese. >> where i found a great recipe for light they reveal mac and cheese in a box used to be an obama family favorite. the former white house chief convinced him to purgule of the the -- all of the processed foods. real cheese cannot be chopped into dust, the packet is not real food. that is not science my

friend. they say if you want macaroni and cheese we will cook it with real milk and real cheese. let's go around this table. which side of the war are you on? >> pro mac and cheese and it does seem that this is an indication of how bad republicans are when they lose to people who are literally campaigning against delicious kraft in a box. and by the way for the rest of the country when you have a chef who can teach you about these things then you can switch off of your box mac and cheese. howie -- how elitist are the obamas? >> they are showing they are a great part of the nation. focusing on what matters to all of us. i don't though how we can replace their contribution. >> i don't think we would want to. you love boxed mac and cheese.

anything that comes in a box you happen to like. >> that's true: i don't love the powder kind. the gooey cheese in the packet is where it is at. >> can you chop something into a goo? >> with my chopping skills we can. the obamas are very unamerican. kraft sold it to the government during the first berld war and dehydrated cheese was developed for the army, god bless our troops. >> thank you. >> i am going to steal that. >> let me tell you what this is. this is a war on lactose intall intall -- on lactose intolerant. they are telling people to use real cheese and real milk. this is shameful and reprehensible and outrageous and she should be impeached.

>> even though she is the first lady she can be impeached. i talked to jeremy and he is on top of. it mac and cheese is great -- college students one box a day and then what you do is cut up hot dogs. did you ever cut up the hot dogs dogs and cook them? that can feed you for 79 cents. >> this is really a war on the poor. >> it is a war on the poor. >> i can't afford organic milk and cheese to create my own mac and cheese. >> did you ever eat a box of stauffer's stuffing this. >> this conversation got really weird. >> you throw in one cube of butter. >> what did you call those people with the brownie? >> i have problems.

i don't care because america is made for people with problems. seriously you do not want to miss this. it is amazing.

in our house, we do just about everything online. and our old internet just wasn't cutting it. so i switched us from u-verse to xfinity. they have the fastest, most reliable internet. which is perfect for me, because i think everything should just work. works? works. works! works? works. works. coming up tomorrow on the next "red eye" we've got the great comedian joe devito and the delightful national review

writer charles cook. he is british. >> e block. last story. that's the last story. the big banks said no thanks. in january officials from city dwrowp, goldman sachs and bank of america and morgan stanley met with federal officials to discuss what they say in a hidden flaw of a new proposal. it is aimed at forcing the biggest banks to add extra layers of financing to protect against losses. they may be forced to hold more capitol than rye will haves especially insurance since that's what the dollar expects. what does this mean for the rest of us? joining me to discuss former cia operative mike baker. we have the former president of "red eye" and fox news contributor john bolton and

shepherd smith, fox newschannel and fox news sewn yes, sir correspondentgeraldo, rivera and joining me fox news correspondent and everyone's happy hour partner phil keatig. we have greg jarod and the host of "making pain" who you can see and we have new york trial attorney and fox news legal analyst arthur. so glad you can be with us this evening. joining them is former u.s. marine corp and host of war channels, oliver north. we have the famous nicholas cage. it is great having him. john mccain and joining us as well and we have former massachusetts governor and 2012 presidential nome nay, a real big up to mitt romney. and rounding out the panel we have actor, writer and

political commentator. the lovely ab tess and co-host of "the view." fox and friends and finally we have kentucky senator rand paul. we are now being told in my ear we have run out of time. my apologies so mike breaker geraldo, greg jarod, lieutenant colonel oliver north. nicholas cage senator john mccain. dworcher mitt romney and ben stein and rosie o'donnell and the great senator from kentucky mr. rand paul and a special thanks to all of my guests in the studio mary katherine hamm and tv's andy levey and joanne nosuchunsky and lou daabs. that does it for me. i'm greg gutfeld. see you next time.

hello everyone i'm dana perino along with kimberly guilfoyle, bob beckel, eric bolling and greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city and this is "the five." the obama administration thinks that america is on the right track to destroy isis. >> i believe we are on the road to yes, i absolutely do. i think the evidence is not in my saying it but in the facts of what is happening. >> but lieutenant general michael flynn intelligence chief does not see it that way. >> today what you are seeing on a map like that is a doubling of the enemy. what i have -- >> a doubling of the enemy? >> a doubling or more.