♪ i am megyn kelly. thanks for watching. >> you can do this, greg. you can do this, greg. this is your show. don't grew it up like last week. you can do it. go get them greg. >> hey. i'll talk to you. you don't mess around with that garbage. >> what garbage? >> don't make a jerk out of me. >> i won't. i won't. >> only understand you're on the air because i got you a job,

right? >> right. >> you see anybody messing with your show you'll tell me. >> i wear, polly. i swear. >> go do your show. >> thanks. >> he needs another couple of smacks though. >> he's been a disaster. >> is he unprepared, disillusioned now as some suggest? >> he's terribly liberal. >> he's an awful person and doesn't dare to dream about a comeback. tonight's topic, identities. three more candidates said they are running for candidates. you have o malley, chaffee.

my hygienist, scott. we're the crazy people. are we sure he really isn't johnny knoxville in disguise? the democrats have stepped up and lincoln is a metric ton of bat poop crazy. the right seems on message, the left seems on medication. martin o' malley courted victims. what bernie sanders is nuttier than payday? the new york times focused on the real threat, marco rubio's father traffic violationviolati. sorry, gray lady.

one other republican stands out but she's not even running. >> not to get political, i've never been a big fan. i'm more on the conservative side. >> are you a republican? >> yeah. >> i haven't been this excited about an olympian. caitlin may be the most well known republican on earth. consider this. the lefts run on first. they had the first black president and they are banking on hillary being the first woman. what if the right volleys with the first transgendered person. after all this is the age of identity as reality tv creates a distorted view. facebook has 50 gender options. that's more options than the costco cereal aisle. she's a transgendered icon but she embraces the female stereo type which freaks out the leftie

gender warriors. she's a right wing, country clubbing lunch lady who goes to mass which makes her way more appealing than hillary. you know bill's going to hit on her first chance he gets. as a possibility of two first ladies and jenner could win. it's sky, the political editor of town hall.com. both are fox news contributors. they have co-authored a book together. comes out tuesday.

my theory is the democrats are brilliant. they know people like to be part of history so they always vote for the first. first black, first woman, first little person. first transgender. >> if it shows the independence that you want in a leader that she did not use a k for caitlyn. really outside the box. >> that is even more rebellious going with a "c." do you think kate lynn could beat hillary? >> i think a lot of people could beat her. i think she's more charming. i'm still trying to figure out

how we're allowed to talk about the situation. >> you're getting flagged for something. >> all sorts of thought crimes there. >> you're bringing up the team sport aspect of political ideology and any kind of thinking. it's now a news cactus. you don't know where to touch the story. i have a number of idiotic questions about caitlyn. >> good. >> hear me out, america. if you become a new person does that absolve you of past crimes. say bruce was in a car accident, can caitlin say that's bruce? >> yes. i'm a legal expert. >> do yyou are a lawyer. >> not at all. >> i think caitlin is a great

golfer but does she move up to the lady's tee and wouldn't that make the other women mad. what do you do there? >> i think she competes as a woman but everyone understands there's an asterisks in terms of competition. >> asterisks are intolerant. i have many questions about identity. if i feel i'm a black man trapped in a white man's body, can i? >> i think that's where people get confused. you're not allowed to ask questions because you will get flagged. it does feel subjective. where do we draw the lines. >> no more line drawing. i want to talk about chaffee. this is an amazing guy.

metric system, this could be brilliant or is he just that crazy? >> i think that with isis on the march and millions of americans out of jobs let's talk about units of measurement. one thing i'm still trying to figure out about his whole presidential announcement is he was a liberal from rhode island and made his announcement in northern virginia at a right of center university. i have no idea why. providence, rhode island and fairfax, virginia are 668 kilometers about, 409 miles in american. >> that brings up why i think america hates the metric system. it's tied to charity fun runs. there would be no h.r. departments at work. the only e-mail is there's a charity fun run. >> i'm in charge of those. >> do you run them? >> i do. >> the phrase 5k makes me vomit.

it's far more sexy. >> lincoln is an enchanting human being. let's be serious about that. he got more coverage than almost any other candidate. who does not want to vote for a man who sounds like an uncomfortable athletic injury. >> that's rtrue. that's what you get when you run, the lincoln chaffee. gay marriage in america beat the metric system. >> by a mile. >> by a mile. well done. i'm going to talk about hillary. she gave a speech at the texas southern university this week. it's in texas. probably south somewhere. campaign reporters were given a few guidelines by the school. there will be no opportunities the interview hillary clinton.

her speech will be her interview. basically she's more off limits than a tb wart. how long is this going to last? >> i think the terminology is her speech identifies as an interview. we should all accept that and treat it with dignity. i don't know how long it lasts. i know the press is frustrated but will they actually do to her to make her move? any republican would be tortured game of thorn style before they allow this to happen more than a week. i don't know if they will do it for her. >> she's like a rare painting. she's got velvet ropes around her. i find it arousing. >> i think the press is getting totally sick of this. her speech will be her interview. somewhere george orwell is like that's pretty good. >> i'm becoming fan of her aloofness. this is like my favorite part of my entire life. that's when i go to my liberal panel if a fresh perspective.

how are you? waking up over there. you look great. >> thank you very much. >> i would assume as a liberal you're a big fan of the metric system. >> you know it. that was like a breath of fresh air. i believe in a little thing called american unexceptionalism. that's where we wait our turn and are polite and i love europe. wearing a scarf indoors and the metric system. >> i've had enough of you. any defense of chaffee? >> i thought he was a breath of fresh air. >> who was your candidate? >> is bernie sanders running? >> he is.

>> i'm going to have to think long and hard about it. none of them is liberal for me. there she is. she'll be pointing it out. i got to move on. you won't say it to my face. you're going to tweet it. our posts on the greg gutfeld page. time to take break. still ahead, donald trump. you know him. first, why is james bond the only brit allowed to carry a gun? that's next, stick around. that's next. stick around. ♪ [music]

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thank god i'm here and not great britain. guns make the british steam like tea kettles. why is that? maybe it's that pesky revolutionary war. a war won because we could shoot

better than them. the british version of gq they have that here. it's amazing. we have the right to bear arms to resist the supreme power of a corrupt and abusive government. it's about the ability to have the individual. it's true. beyond that every place in the world that's banned guns have seen murder rates rise. this is amazing. nobody talks about it.

they search for gun free places and got a fairground full of them. a country where we know that more guns doesn't equal more crime. all it does is make british blow hards like pierce nuts. he's as insightful as i am gorgeous. joining me free think media executive. i love the brits. i lived there. they have interesting food. they have castles and stuff. you can't talk about guns with them. why is that? >> you can't talk about guns with most people. everyone has these strong opinions.

you know what's driving violence. it's guns. it's a complicated topic. violence is complicated topic. the swiss have a lot of guns. they happen to have the murder rate that's much lower than ours if we're going to look for the answer to why violence happens in particular places. it's got to be about more than guns. >> why do the swiss have lower rates? >> one possible thing we might look at if we're going to pick a policy at random is drug policy. the swiss happen to have more lenient policies towards drugs than we do which may have something to do with the nature of the violence we have in the united states. >> that's an interesting point. one that i understood. i have a theory. i think that guns are our royalty. like how the england have kate and william. we have smith and wesson.

they have buckingham palace and we have texas. >> i think it's beautiful. we give them beautiful cover photo shoots of magazines as well. all of our guns get done up for photos. i think you're onto something. i thought what was interesting is how one person in hollywood voices one opinion that is slightly different from everyone else. everyone freaks out. it's like just deal with it. he's having a nice pretty intellectual conversation. >> can i give you the other side of that that kind of sad guy is it's also kind of sad how desperate we are like people like when we see a celebrity that we agree with. we're all excited about it. it never happened. like we're hypocrites in the sense when we hear celebrities say stuff we don't like, we'll say why don't you just shut up and act and then when we hear a celebrity that we agree with

we're like tell me more. >> keep talking. >> let's mnominate them for president. vince vaughn is a legit a lister. he's been known to be a libertarian for quite some time. the fact he's boxed this off and random, average dude that people love, he can get away with there stuff. he's confident enough in his position he can come out and challenge the orthodox in a british magazine. good for him. >> british gq seems redundant to me. let me go to the liberal panel. i'm sure you have something predictable to say about guns, that they are evil. >> no. i think it's great what he said. first of all, you need guns to defend from the government when obama sends the u.n. to vaccinate your daughter for hpv, you need more guns. we should be strapped and ready

to die at all times. >> that's what we do because i'm a liberal. >> have you ever shot a gun? >> yes, many times. >> really? >> someone misgendered me once and i had to show them. the correct answer is i'm a moon sexual. >> what is that? >> it's one of 52 different things. >> okay. . i'm going to stop talking to you. donald trump is coming up after the break but first some unfortunate news. this is evil. the entourage movie opens this week. for any concerned parents wonds i wondering how to explain something like this to a child, we put together a video. it's news for kids. >> the word entourage comes from a french word meaning bros who mooch off of friends and pretend

it's acceptable. one day he realized he and his friends were so funny they should film it. mark produced a tv show based on his life inn an evil place calld hollywood. a producer does the least amount of work and takes autocredit. cameos are something they use to hang out with proathletes like tom brady. the show stars a lesser known actor, a guy from queens and handsome dude. the fact that the handsome dude's career has disappeared since the end of the show is in no way suggest he was untalented as the character he played. even though the characters never changed after eight long years and the show finally ended, they wanted more. thus the entourage movie was created. fun fact. film is being authorized as a

device to place lethal injections for death row inmates. that is news for kids. >> that's true. you don't get this kind of material on special report. time to take break. stick around or i'll put camille in a head lock. so you're a small business expert from at&t? yeah, give me a problem and i've got the solution. well, we have 30 years of customer records. our cloud can keep them safe and accessible anywhere. my drivers don't have time to fill out forms. tablets. keep them all digital. we're looking to double our deliveries. our fleet apps will find the fastest route. oh, and your boysenberry apple scones smell about done. ahh, you're good. i like to bake. with at&t get up to $400 dollars in total savings on tools to manage your business. every auto insurance policy has a number. but not every insurance company understands the life behind it. ♪

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>> donald trump. you i know him. he's planning on making a big

announcement this week a this week as he always says he does or may not do. i got an exclusive access into many trumps office where i asked the tough question. >> actually, you got in because of me. some people might know donald and i go way back. i was a contestant in his miss usa pageant in 2013. i called in favor and that brag is not humble. can we roll it, doris. we called this meeting because greg has a new show. he's a little insufferable to work with. you're known for your phrase on your tv show, "your fired." greg needs one. lately it's been "go make me a sandwich." i don't know if that's working. >> i think you should fire him now and take over the show. i heard the first week the ratings were very good. >> yes, we won our time slot.

>> as long as the ratings are good, it's going to be lahard t fire him. as soon as they go down, fire him. >> should we improve his wardrobe. >> do you ever wear ties? >> i do wear them on occasion. >> funerals. >> maybe we try one next show. >> yeah. >> the ratings go up you'll always wear ties. they go down, you have to buy a trump tie. >> do you believe in super stigss? >> i don't like to walk under ladders. if i see a ladder i can walk around it three feet. who wants test. >> they should move the ladder for you. most of the baseball players don't step on the line. i think so. >> wouldn't it be horrible if something really difficult happened to you before like you won game and that meant you had to do it every single game. >> that happens. >> like you fell down a flight of stairs but you throw a no hitter, that means every day you would try to fall downstairs. we heard these rumors that you

might run for president. i was wondering if you do, and you win, what would be my role? >> i think you would be a fantastic press secretary. we'd have a little personality. it's pretty dry that position. especially when you can keep a straight face and say how well we're going against isis. i think you'd be fantastic. you're very expressive. >> i am. >> you wouldn't be able to lie as well as they lie. >> as others. >> that would be tough. >> i have a couple of things i don't think you should do when you're president. would you ever read to children? >> it's called pandering. yeah, i would do it. i'd do it out of heart. you always see the standard reading to children. no. >> you have to shake a lot of hands as president. how are you going to get around that? >> i've been saying it's not a healthy thing, which i'm right. i shake hands any way.

what am i going to catch from you? i wouldn't mind shaking her hand. >> i'm never washing this hand again. >> you are the king of brands. you have your own water, your own ties. your own everything. i don't have anything. do you have any suggestions on things that i should brand? i don't think i could have my own tie but something like a onesie, perhaps. what kind of product should have the gutfeld name on it. >> you play golf? >> terrible. >> a ball after you. >> like a gutfeld putter. >> the gutter putter. i bet you'd be a good putter. >> that's a good name. >> that is. >> this is like who else asks me this stuff. everything else is serious. in your own way you're being very serious. >> i am serious. there's always a point behind my

idiocy. >> great job. >> thank you. donald, come on out. donald, no? >> he's not here. i think he's an amazing person. he's done more for the city than most politicians. he puts me in a difficult situation. he keeps attacking my friends. yesterday he called charles crownhammer dumb. he's not dumb. he's a lot of things but he's not dumb. he called jonah goldberg dumb. he's a smart guy. i feel like i'm the child in a republican divorce when he talks. >> i've never seen anybody so relaxed in the boardroom as you two were. >> we were on so many drugs. we were very, very nervous. i mixed ambien and coke. it was fantastic. coca-cola that is. if he runs for president rgs would you vote for him? >> no, i don't think so.

>> i would have to say no. i do like a is brave enough to take reading to children off the table. >> that was bold. >> i like that. >> he just sat back and said no. which is also my answer about whether i'd vote for him. i'm not a huge fan. that was the most likable i've ever seen him, that interview. >> i think because joanne brought it out of him. >> it's what i do. >> liberal panel, where are you? do you think donald trump could beat hillary? >> donald who? >> you don't know who donald is? >> i have trouble keeping the nightmares straight. is he the one who thinks there's dinosaur's on noah's ark or the one that wants to replace no security with free lotto tickets? >> neither. he's the guy that helped bring new york city back to life. >> oh.

listen. here is how repelling every one of your candidates is. hillary clinton has a good shot at winning. that's how bad your side is. >> i don't know about that. we've got some -- >> real chance. the. >> i don't know what he just said. i think it might have to be edited out. we got to move on. tim, you have a correction at all. >> you said there's always a point to your idiocy. gutter putter. >> you don't like it? >> nobody likes it. >> maybe get some wind shield wipers for your glasses because it's raining outside. enough. i don't want to look at her anymore. coming up, the greg gutfeld show has been held hostage by a creep. i'm going to be negotiating the

website's release. first, we're going to talk about the duggar's and the promise we're never going to talk about the duggars again. we were below the 88th southern parallel. we had traveled for over 850 miles. my men driven nearly mad from starvation and frostbite. today we make history. >>bienvenidos! welcome to the south pole! if you're dora the explorer, you explore. it's what you do. >>what took you so long? if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. >>you did it, yay! hey pal? you ready? can you pick me up at 6:30? ah... (boy) i'm here! i'm here! (cop) too late. i was gone for five minutes! ugh!

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oh, yeah it's incredible! how you doing team? jeff you good? [jeff] i think i dropped my keys. [announcer] you work hard to build your company. wells fargo will work right alongside you, bringing the expertise your company needs to move forward. wells fargo. together we'll go far. >> all right. so have you heard of the duggars? me neither. but to recap the to recap the eldest of their 19 kids molested his little sisters while he was teenager 12 years ago and the parents kept it secret. i'm still trying to figure out why he need to know all this stuff and why we like to watch this stuff. even more why do we have to pick sides over a topic like molestation? if you come out against the duggars some say you don't understand the importance of forgiveness. if you come out for them, others say your minimizing sexual abuse. can't we all agree the whole thing is just gross.

thank god the people on this couch are way smarter than me. i lied when i said that but i was trying to be polite. i want to get to this point. it's not about that story. it's why we live in a world where everybody has to choose sides. why can't left and right agree this is gross? >> it's creepy and gross. the cringe factor is to high i have avoided following the details of the story. when ever i get through social osmosis any details it's like i don't want to know. it's unfortunate. >> it gets worse. you find out the dad was talking to a cop who is in jail for 56 years on child porn for help. mcat. i keep trying to tell people, the people who support traditional values, they don't have to defend the duggars because they share traditional values. it's like if you -- if a killer is an oakland raider fan and

you're an oakland raider fan, you don't have to defend the killer. >> you don't have to although the penn state crowd might disagree with you. >> that is true. >> i know i'm going to get some hate mail. having had this happen in your family that you choose to do a reality show afterwards. that's why we know about it because they are public figures and the victims are public figures which makes it an awkward situation which is no fun for anybody. you don't have to defend the guy who holds some of your political views. it's not required. >> it's not in the contract when you become a republican or a conservative or person that says you have to defend everybody. we say it's gross but it's also engrossing. it's the ratings that they're getting are disgustingly high which is why we were doing the story so often.

disgusting things rule. >> there's the other side of the story is conservatives are saying the reason there's so much attention is he is a conservative. you put yourself on television, this is a really complicated and strange and unfortunate story folks are attracted to stuff like that. you talk about it for a while. >> kind of weird or appropriate that the magazine who broke this story is called "in touch." i won't comment anymore on that. >> i love these tlc shows. i have watched "19 kids and counting" for years. it always makes me feel really guilty because my morals are a little looser than the family. i think it's the real thing. it's like sides have been decided for you if you're watching this show. either you live that lifestyle or you don't and you feel whatever way about it. the audience doesn't like to feel duped. the family is a poster for

traditional values. they not saying that all families do this with traditional values. we don't need to rally around there family but the values is the thing. it's picking the side of the values and not the molesters. >> when you say the duggars are being attacked they are christians that's no different than shouting islamaphobia. am i right or an idiot? it's my show so say right. >> we're all very hesitant. >> a deadly silence. that means we should move on to the next topic. this story drives me crazy. here is why i hate the idea of 911 calls being made public. >> 911. what's the address of your emergency? >> i have a problem in my home. i cannot go inside. >> what's the problem? my cat was getting too

aggressive. he attacked me and scratched my leg and bite me. so me and my wife we come outside and now we cannot go in the home like three or four hours. >> okay. you said a cat? >> yeah. >> you want the police to come and remove the cat? >> yeah. >> i admit, it's hilarious but it's wrong. it's very, very wrong. what if you were in an embarrassing, dangerous situation and needed help but you feared making the 911 call because it would be made public. wouldn't you rather die, literally die, than just die of an embarrassment that will follow you for the rest of your life. camille, when we play this tape, doesn't that encourage people not to call 911? >> i'm all in favor of transparency. this is embarrassing

circumstance. isn't it his mistake in you call animal control when something like that happens. >> you don't know that, do you? >> most people don't flow. >> he was smart enough to put on an accent when he made the call. that's the first step. yeah, i'm in favor of these kind of things coming out on public record. what annoys me is it seems like 911 calls get priority over every other request made. >> would you call 911 if you accidental locked yourself in an empty closet and you were naked. what would you do? >> call you. >> i'd starve to death. >> that's my closet that i locked you in. >> let me out. it's not funny anymore.

>> let's explore this. how does that work? do you open the door. >> a poem about one of my favorite videos read by one man who can capture his true beauty. >> behold the otter by greg gutfeld. behold the otter, a ball in some water. that with a ball not her. we kaulcaught her and quickly applaud her. now what fame has surely bought her, what exposure so vast has taught her. behold the otter. she couldn't be hotter. on the court of fame she'll soon slaughter and roo that day the world did spot her. well done gutfeld. well done over and out. >> good night.

coming up, our op-ed tells us what we got wrong. it's probably a lot. who knows. who knows. . . . you stay up. you listen. you laugh. you worry. you do whatever it takes to take care of your family. and when it's time to plan for your family's future, we're here for you. we're legalzoom, and for over 10 years we've helped families just like yours with wills and living trusts. so when you're ready, start with us.

doing the right thing has never been easier. legalzoom. legal help is here.

she's odd, unstable, and has the distinct odor of lavender

and paper clips. she's here to tell us how well i did and how well everyone else did not. what do you got, besides that crooked smirk? >> a lot, actually. i don't know if you realize how bad the caitlin jenner discussion was. a lot of different pronouns being thrown around. greg, you called her a guy at one point. you can't not praise her. but you can't praise her because that's objecttifying women. >> catherine, i was saying he when referring to bruce, and she when referring to caitlin. >> you just don't understand how clear it is. i've got to move on.

i heard a very interesting thing from a liberal panel about loosening gun laws could cause a huge increase in hpvs. so what does switzerland say about that? >> about hpv? i'm not sure there's any correlation between those two things at all. >> and joe, you said you don't like their values, but you like the values, but not the molesters. is that it? >> you know, i said something to that effect. >> just checking. and mk, you said that chase dude was enchanting, which is interesting. how many miles in a 4.5 k? >> that would be like -- >> so easy. >> three miles? >> 2.7. >> it's less than three. >> wait a second, who runs a 4.5 k? isn't the whole point of the metric system, that it's always rounded?

>> everyone can do the whole five. back to you, greg. >> that was sad. you're a very sad and strange person. i'm troubled by your presence. maybe we'll see you next week. time to take a break. but first, what are the guests leaving with this week, carl? >> tonight's guest will receive a free gutter putter. get one today. either way. thanks gutter butter. ♪ every auto insurance policy has a number. but not every insurance company understands the life behind it. ♪ those who have served our nation have earned the very best service in return. ♪ usaa. we know what it means to serve. get an auto insurance quote and see why 92% of our members plan to stay for life.

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>> finally it was brought to my attention when the show was announced some (bleep) purchased a web site which is the greg gutfeld show.com. since then he has been holding the site for ransom demanding that i have him on the show and if i have him on i will get my url back. tonight i have given into his

demands and he joins us now. this is him. this is real. you got on to the show with my web site. >> absolutely. you were too stupid to buy your own show's web site. so we thought it a good idea to buy it uphold it ransom much like rupert pumpkin did to get on the show. lo and behold here i am. >> it worked. >> it is. and it did. >> it is amazing. >> i am on the greg gutfeld show because i stole his web site. >> how are you going to exchange this web site? >> i on the show so you are giving into my demands. we will find the location. i will make a few phone calls to -- are there any pay phones left? >> no. just the drug dealers.

>> can you reveal yourself who you are. >> finally i will reveal who has come up with an evil plan. >> graoo great show. >> i have good deal on dresses. >> my wife would love that. >> this way. this way. go great down to the store there. >> down there? >> yeah down there. keep going. >> i don't see anything here. >> keep going. keep going right there. keep going. right in there. right in there. in there. keep going. >> maybe come other time. i have got to run.

thanks a lot. i will see you. >> right there. right there. right there. flush flush live from america's news headquarters, i'm jackie ibanez. a massive manhunt for two escaped killers continues in upstate new york. the search now ending its eighth day. hundreds of law enforcement officers searching a gooded area near the prison. residents are on edge.