is precious to us. ♪ love is strange just another way we put members first. join the nation. ♪ baby... ♪ nationwide is on your side i am megyn kelly. thanks for watching. >> you can do this, greg. you can do this. this is your show. don't screw it up like last week. this is going to be the one. this is going to be the one. you can do it. go get em, greg. >> it could be my son. could be anybody. you don't mess around with that garba garbage. you understand me? >> what garbage? >> don't make a jerk out of me. >> don't do it. >> don't do it. >> you are right. you are right. i won't. >> you understand we are on the air you got the job, right?

>> i swear, paul lee. >> yes. yes. i swear. >> go to your show. >> thank you. >> i ain't a bad kid. needs another couple smacks, though. >> he has been a disaster. >> unprepared. is he disillusioned right now as some suggest? >> terrible liberal. >> he's an awful person and didn't dare to dream about a comeback. >> hi. i am greg gutfeld. out watching the tonies. tonight's topics identity. since our last chat 300 more candidates running for president. you got o'malley, rick perry,

casey, my high againest scott. he's a pisces. rick perry made a great speech. you know it worked because john stewart smeshgirked. his aim restoring. his aim, this? >> there's internationalism. there's join the rest of the world and go metric. >> we are the crazy people. are we sure ended jorn knee knoxville in disguise. in absence of republican goof balls at once he stepped up and he is a ton of crazy. the right seems on message the left on medication. martino malley quarted victims. with him on face hillary played race. what if bernie sanders is nut year than a payday. marco rubio's four traffic violations. sorry a speeding ticket isn't chap paw quidic.

one republican stands out she is not even running. >> not to get political. just everybody is a big fan more on the conservative side. >> are you a republican? >> i haven't been this excited an olympian since cecilia alexis. caitlyn jenner may be the most well-known republican. they are the first black president and banking on hillary being the first woman. what if the right volleys with the first transgendered person. this is the age of identity as reality tv creates a distorted view of status and wealth. identity becomes your brands. they have 50 gender opings. that's more choices than a costco cereal i'll. a transgendered icon which is expressive but she embraces the female stereotype which freaks out the less gender warriors.

seriously she is a right wing, country clubbing lunch lady who goes to mass which makes her much more appealing than hillary. bill is going to hit on her first chance he gets. image how freaked out isis will be when caitlyn starts bombing them. she violates more laws than lady gaga. jenner, jenner could win. but if the democrats respond with an asian sec when shall hermaphrodite with three nipples we are toast. >> that's right. joining me to discuss my genius plan and my last mary katherine, i am editor at large of hot air.com. coach are the arctic circle it's guy benson both fox news contributors and coauthored a book together how charming. it is called end of discussion. which i plan to read when i am not so busy being awesome and

trying to save the world. all right m cat. i am going to go to you first. my theory is that the democrats are brilliant. they know that people like to be part of history, so they always vote for the first, first black, first woman, first little person, first transgendered. good or bad idea? >> there are some cash say there. you might be on to something. here's what i am born about i don't know if it is qualifying basically a kardashian or if it shows the independence you want in a leader who doesn't use a k for katelyn. >> that's true. >> real outside the box. >> even more rebellious going with a c. he's a conservative guy. do you think katelyn could beat hillary? >> i think a lot of people wocod beat hillary. i think she is more charming than hillary clinton. it isn't a high bar to clear. i am considering how we are allowed to talk about the

situation yet by the people who adjudicate these things. are we allowed to hold two thoughts in our heads at once that caitlyn jenner was born a man is bile logically a man we can treat her with dignity for making this decision. >> you are getting flagged for something. >> all sorts of thought crimes there. >> you are bringing up the team sport aspect of political ideology and any kind of thinking. it is now a news cactus tus. y i have a number of ideiotic questions about caitlyn. >> good. >> if you become a new person does that absolve you have past crimes? is say he was in a car accident can caitlyn say that was bruce? >> yes. i am a legal expert and that is how it works. >> you are a lawyer aren't you? >> not at all. >> here's a question. i think katelyn is a great golfer. but now as a woman does she move

up to the lady's tee and wouldn't that piss off all of the other women because he's an aolympic athlete. should he hit from the man's tee? he's a olympic athlete. what do you do? >> i think she competes as a woman everyone under stadz there's an asterisk in terms of competition. >> asterisks are intolerant. i have many questions about identity. for example if i feel i am a black man trapped in a white man's body can i? >> that's where people get confused. you are not allowed to ask questions. you get flagged if you are incorrect. it doesn feel all subjective. where do we draw the lines. >> don't draw lines any more. no more line drawing.

chaff chaffey. metric system this could be brilliant or is he just that crazy? >> i think with isis on the march and millions of americans out of jobs by all means let's talk about units of measurement. one thing i am trying to figure out about his presidential announcement was he is a liberal who's from rhode island. he made his announcement in northern virginia at a riders center university. i have no idea why. i looked it up. providence rhode island are 658 kilometers of art 409 miles in american. >> that brings up why i think america hates the metric system. it is tied to charity fun runs. like 35 k runs. there would be no hr departments at work. the only e-mails i get is from my hr department after a charity fun run. >> i am in charge of all of this. >> do you run them? do you actually run? >> i do. >> the 35 k mak-- 5k makes me

vomit. it is far more sexy to say 5k than 3.11 miles which is what it is (>>linco >> lincoln chaffey got more coverage than almost any candidate this week by talking about the metric system. who doesn't want to vote for a man who sounds like an uncomfortable athletic injury. >> lincoln chaffey. >> who would are thought in 2015 in competition against the metric system and gay marriage. gay marriage beats the metric system by a mile. >> well done. >> europeans don't think we are aggressive. they are in the metric system we have gay marriage. hillary gave a speech at the texas southern university last week it's in texas probably south somewhere. campaign reporters were given a few guidelines they were told there will be no more opportunities to view hillary

clinton her speech. her speech will be her interview. so basically she is more off limits than a tv award. how long will this last? >> i think the terminology is her speech identified at the interview. we should all accept that and dreet it with dignity. i don't know how long it lasts. i know the press is frustrated what will they do to her to make her move? any republican would be tortured game of throwns style before they would allow this who happen for more than a week. >> lease she is like a rare painting she has velvet ropes around her. i find it arousing. it might be helpful. >> it might be for four more seconds. a lot of the press is totally sick of this. her speech will be her interview. george or well is like this is pretty good. >> this is like my favorite part of my entire life. that's when i go to my liberal panel for a fresh pine cented

perspective. >> you are waking up over there. >> hi greg. >> you look great. >> thank you very much, greg. >> i have to ask you i would assume as a liberal a big fan of the metric system. >> you guessed it. that was a breath of fresh air. i agree in a little thing called american unexceptionalism. we wait our turn in a polite, and i love europe. the doors the metric system. i think we should have he is pir ran doe. >> he is like the metric system. >> it was invented by a schoolteacher, greg. >> that makes it okay. >> like emergency. that also work. >> i have had enough of you. do you have any better defense? >> i thought he was a breath of fresh air. >> is bernie sanders -- >> i am going to have to think

long and hard about it. >> we all know one person in our lives who like to tell everybody their wrong she is our op ed pointing out our mistakes along the way. anything so far? >> not great. not great. >> let me know. >> you are in a lot of trouble all three of you for everything you said about everything. >> that's the goal. i ha i have to move on. do you have anything to say? of course you do. you are going to tweet it at greg gutfeld show. or post on the greg gutfeld facebook page. we are still doing that. if you leave now i will stab guy benson with a dull butter knife. donald trump, you know him. why is james bond the only britt allowed to carry a gun? that's next. stick around. thanks for calling angie's list.

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>> thank god i am here not great britain. the guns make them steam like kettles. maybe it's the pesky revolutionary war. consider this defense in the

second amendment in the british version of gq they have instead of the u.s. we have the right to bear arms to resist the supreme power of corrupt abusive gov government. it is not about duck hunting but the individual. a dumb person would respond to facts about facts pierce called me dumb, too. he wouldn't absorb a if it peed on him. th brits often point to their own lower gun murder rates. they forget they were lower before their strict gun control laws. after 1920 it is true every place in the world has seen murder rates rise. what drives brits like pierce graze crazy is a star like vince vaughan doesn't confine his research to angry tweets. matt's killers like james hole

ems and dillon klebold openly admit they searched for gun free places they got to be sitting ducks. that's why i am glad we are here more guns doesn't mean more crime it makes british blow hard like pierce nuts the same blow hard who enjoyed armed security at their work when they used to have jobs. >> these are gorgeous. joining me media. >> i love the brits. i lived there. they have interesting food. they have like castles and stuff. but you can't talk about guns with them. why is that? >> you can't talk with guns about most people. everybody has strong opinions and thinks they have the correct point. i think it's dangerous to get to the business of complex like violence. you know what's driving

violence? it is guns clearly. obviously. guns is a complicated topic. violence is a complicated topic. the swiss has a lot of guns. just like the u.s. has a lot of guns. they have a murder rate lower than ours. if we look to the answer of why violence happens in particular places it has to be about more than guns. why do the swiss have lower gun rates? >> it is complicated. >> if we are going to pick a policy at random is drug policy. the swiss have more lenient policies toward guns and towards drugs than we do it may have something to do with the violence of the nature of the united states. >> interesting point. one that i understood. here i have a theory m cat. i think that guns are our royalty. like you know how being good has kate and we have smith and wesson we have buckingham

palacpalace it is something they can't give up. >> i think it is beautiful. they give them beautiful cover photos of magazines as well. >> it is true. it is true. >> i think what's interesting about the vince vaughan interview is how once one person in hollywood voices one opinion is slightly different than everybody else everyone freaks out. just deal with it. he's having a nice intellectual conversation about the second amendment and rights and guns. >> can i give you the other side of that? >> it is sad how desperate we are. we are all excited about it because it never happened. like we are hip grits in the sense that we hear celebrities say something we don't like why don't you shut up and act. we hear a celebrity we agree

with>> keep talking. >> vince vaughan is a legit a lister. >> not for long. >> i don't think so. he's been known to be sort of a libertarian for quite sometime. >> he can get away with the stuff. i am glad he said this. >> good for him. >> british gq. that seems redundant to me. >> you have something predictable to say about guns that they are evil. >> first of all you need funds to defend the government. >> how are you going to stop it without the guns? oo we should get them strapped and ready to die at all

times. >> i think it would be fantastic. >> have you ever shot a gun? >> many times. >> i am a moon sexual? >> what is that? >> one of 52 different things. >> i am going to stop talking to you. >> no. >> donald trump he's coming up after the break. unfortunate news. this is hilariously evil. the on the raj movie opened this week for any concerned parents who might wonder how to explain something like this to a child we put together a helpful video. it is news for kids. >> what is an entourage and why is there a movie about it. the word entourage comes from a french word meaning those who mooch of a friend and think it is acceptable. he was owe handsome he came an

actor. he realized he and his friends are so funny they should film it. mark produced a tv show based on his life in a evil place called hollywood. a producer does the least amount of work possible but the takes lots of credit. he has lots of jets ma sosh knee and unnecessary cameos. it is something so they can hang out with pro athletes. he knows a lesser known brother of a famous actor the bully from rocky 5 jeremy pivens and a handsome news. it is in no way to suggest he is untalented as the character he played. just that he is more untalented even though the characters never changed after eight long years and the show finally ended every where they wanted more. the entourage movie was created. the film is being authorized as a device to replace lethal

injections for death row inmates. that is news for kids. >> that's true. you don't get this kind of material. stick around or i will put camille in a head lock. hp instant ink can save you up to 50% on ink, so print all you want and never run out. right now, buy an eligible printer and get three months of free ink with hp instant ink. available at participating retailers. the most affordable way to print. hp instant ink. mr. auto-mo-deal!s! hey, it's the wheel deal! hey, hey, the duke of deals! i know a few guys in the rental car biz. let's go, 'wheels'. rental car deals up to 40% off. boy: once upon a time, there was a nice house that lived with a family. one day, it started to rain and rain.

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[ male announcer ] huntsman cancer institute is the only cancer hospital in the world designed by a patient, with the vital understanding that cancer moves fast. and we have to move faster. to learn more or support the cause, go to huntsmancancer.org. ♪ to folks out there whose diabetic nerve pain... shoots and burns its way into your day, i hear you. to everyone with this pain that makes ordinary tasks extraordinarily painful, i hear you. make sure your doctor hears you too! i hear you because i was there when my dad suffered with diabetic nerve pain. if you have diabetes and burning, shooting pain in your feet or hands, don't suffer in silence! step on up and ask your doctor about diabetic nerve pain. tell 'em cedric sent you. >> donald trump. you i know him.

he's planning on making a big announcement this week as he always says he does or may not do. i got him exclusive access into mr. trump's office. >> you got in because of me. some people might know donald and i go way back. i was a contestant in his miss usa pageant in 2013. i called in a favor. that brag is not humble. can we roll it? >> so we called the meeting mr. trump because greg has a new show. he's a little insufferable to work with. so you are known for your phrase on your tv show, you are fired. >> right. you are fired. >> greg i think needs one. lately it has been go make me a sandwich. i don't know that that's working. do you have any better ideas? >> no. i think you should fire him right now and you should maybe takeover although i heard the first week the ratings were good. >> we won our time slot. >> as long as the ratings are good it's going to be hard to

fire him. as soon as they go down. fire his ass. >> you know what i think helped risk the ratings should we improve? >> do you ever wear ties? >> i do on occasion. >> at funerals. >> maybe we try won the next show. >> the ratings go up. >> you have to buy a truck. >> do you have any supper stigss? >> a little bit. i don't like to walk under ladders. i don't. if i see a ladder i can walk around. >> who wants to test. >> we should move the ladder for you. >> you see it with the baseball players. >> most don't step on the line. >> would it be horrible if something really difficult happened to you before like you won a game that meant you had to do it every single day. like you fell down a flight of stairs but you throw a no hitter that means every day you would try to fall down a flight of stairs. we hear the ruin mores y -- rum

if you might run for president if you do and i win what would be my role? >> i think you would be a fantastic press secretary. we would have a little personality in that position. it is pretty dry that position. especially when you can keep a straight face and say how well we are doing against isis. i think you would be fantastic. you are very expressive but you wouldn't be able to lie as well as they lie. >> i have a couple of things here i don't think you should ever do. would you ever read to children? they always have to read to children. >> it is called pandering. >>s is something, yeah, i do it. there are always reading to children. >> you have to shake everybody's hands. >> i shake hands anyway. a lot of people think what am i

going to catch from you? >> shake it a second time. now i feel good. >> you are the king united your own water and pies, your own everything. i don't have anything. >> something like a once ssy pe. what kind of products should i have the gutfeld name on. >> you play golf don't you? >> poorly. i am a terrible grade schoolfer. >> we could name a golf club after you. >> like a gutfeld putter. a gutter putter. >> that's a good name. a gutter putter. >> that is a good name. >> that's why your show is so much fun. >> joanne, great job.

>> donald, come on out. c donald. no. >> he is not here. >> i love donald trump. i think he's an amazing person. he has done more for this city than most politicians. >> it is like yesterday. called charles krauthammer dumb. he is not dumb. >> he called jonah goldburg dumb. he's a smart guy. i feel like i am a child on republican divorce. >> i never saw anybody more relaxed in the board room as you two were. >> we were on so many drugs. >> you are very, very nervous. i mixed ambian and coke it was fantastic. coca-cola that is. >> anyway. if you run for president camille would you vote for him? >> i would have to say no.

>> you would have to take reading children off the table. >> and pardon a turkey guy. >> sat back and thought about it and said no. which is the answer why i would vote for somebody. that is the most likeable i have ever seen him. >> joanne brought it out of him. >> it is what i do. >> liberal panel where are you? >> do you think donald trump could beat hillary? >> donald who? >> you don't know who donald is? >> he such a minute ash ry of nightmares i have trouble keeping them straight. is he the one that thinks there are dinosaurs on noah's ark or is he the one that wants to replace social security with free lotto tickets? >> he is the one who helped bring new york city back to life.

>> oh. here is how talented they are. hillary clinton has a good shot of winning that's how bad your son. >> i don't know about that. >> we have the real dan. >> i don't know what he just said. i think it might have to be edited out. >> all right. we have to move on. right? >> you have a correction at all? >> you said there's always a point to your idiocy? always? >> well, yes. >> gutter buttputter? >> no. you don't like it. nobody likes it. >> you know what? maybe we get some little windshield wipers. it is raining outside. >> coming up. the greg gutfeld show.com is held hostage. >> that's him right here. >> i will be negotiating the

west side. then five gitmo prisoners. >> talk about the duggars. we will never talk about the duggars again. people with type 2 diabetes

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competitors do in desktop. you work so late. i guess you don't see your family very much? i see them all the time. did you finish your derivative pricing model, honey? for all the confidence you need. td ameritrade. you got this. >> all right. so have you heard of the duggars? me neither. but to recap the eldest of their 19 kids molested his little sisters while he was a teenager 12 years ago. the parents kept it secret. still trying to figure out why we need to know all of this stuff and why we need to know this stuff. even more why do we have to pick sides over a topic like molestation. if you come out against the duggars some say you don't understand the importance of forgiveness. if you come out for the duggars others say you are minimizing sexual abuse. can't we agree the whole thing

is gross. people on the couch are way smarter than me. i lied when i said that but i was trying to be polite. every time i mention the duggars we started freaking out. it is not about that story it is why we live in a world where everybody has to choose sides. why can't left and right agree this is gross. >> it is creepy and gross. the cringe factor is so high i have scrupulously followed the details. as soon as i get through osmosis it is like oh, i don't want to know that. it is unfortunate. >> you find out the dad was talking to a cop who is in jail for 56 years for child porn. it makes no sense to me. m cat. i keep trying to tell people the people who support traditional values we don't have to defend the duggars because they share traditional values. >> if the killer is a oakland

raiders fan you don't have to defend the killer. >> the penn state crowd may not agree with you. >> what amaidses me about this, is having this happen in your family you choose to do a reality show afterwards. that's how we know about it because they are public figures and victims are public figures which makes it a awkward situation. >> you don't have to defend the guy who shoort of nominally hol your political views. that is not required. >> it is not in the contract when you become a republican or a conservative or a person that says you have to defend everybody. we say it is gross. it is also engrossing. it is the ratings that megyn kelly are getting are disgustingly high. which is why we are doing this story so often. disgusting things rule.

>> there is not the opposite but the other side of the story is that collenservatives are sayin there's so much attention because he is a conservative. you put yourself on television, this is a really complicated and strange and unfortunate story. they are attracted to stuff like that. you talk about it for a while. >> kind of weird or appropriate that the magazine who broke the story is called in touch. i won't comment any more on that. >> i love these shows i have watched 19 kids and counting for years it makes me feel really guilty because my morals are a little loser than the family. i think that's the real thing. it's not about picking sides. test like sides have already been decided for you either you live that lifestyle or you don't and you feel whatever way about it. this family is a poster for traditional values now they are

not saying all families do this who have traditional values. we don't need to rally around this family but again the values is the thing. it is picking the side of the values no the molesters. >> when you say the duggars are being attacked because they are christian, there is no doubt shouting islam ma phobia when you are bringing up islam terror. it is kind of the same thing. am i right or am i an idiot. it is my show so say right. >> right. >> we should move on to the next st topic. this story drives me crazy. i hate the idea of 911 calls being made public. >> 911 what's your emergency? >> i have a problem in my home. i cannot go inside my home. >> what's the problem? >> the problem is my cat was too

aggressive. she attacked me in my leg and bite me. me and my wife come out side and now we cannot go in the home for hours. >> you said a cat? >> yes. >> you want the police to come and remove the cat? >> yeah. >> it is hilarious but it is also wrong. very, very wrong. what if you were in an embarrassing dangerous situation but you needed help? but you feared making the 911 call because the 911 call call would be made public? wouldn't you rather die literally die than just simply die of an embarrassment that will follow you for the rest of your life? is oo when we play the tape doesn't that encourage people not to call 911? >> the trouble for me i am all in favor of transparency this is a very embarrassing circumstance. isn't it his mistake?

you call animal control when something like this happens? you don't call 91 # 1. >> you don't know that, do you? >> first of all he was smart enough to put on an accent. >> sorry about that. >> that's the first step. but i tend to agree with camille. i am like i am in favor of these things coming out in public records. seems like 911 calls get priority over every other request ever made. >> for me i don't understand it. guys, would you call, be honest with me, would you call 911 if you had accidentally locked yourself in an empty closet and you were naked? you know you are a contributor you are on tv. what would you do? >> would you starve to death? >> that's my closet. >> let me out. >> it would be enjoyable for me to watch you suffer slowly. it wou

i would feed you from a bucket. >> how does that work? ooer do you open the door? >> all right. we have got to take a break. first a poem about one of my favorite videos read by one man who can capture its true beauty. >> behold the otter by greg gutfeld. behold the otter a ball and some water someone's son, someone's daughter that or the ball not her. we caught her and quickly applaud her at youtube fodder. what fame is shirley fodder one exposure so fast has taught her, behold the otter. she couldn't be otter they shall soon slaughter and rule that day the world did spot her. well done, gutfeld. over and out. >> good night, lou. remember lasagna.

katherine tibbs tells us what we got wrong. it is probably a lot. who knows. huh, fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. everybody knows that. well, did you know genies can be really literal? no. what is your wish? no...ok...a million bucks! oh no... geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. why am i so awake? did you know your brain has a wake system... and a sleep system? science suggests when you have insomnia, the neurotransmitters in your wake system may be too strong, which may be preventing you from getting the sleep you need. talk to your doctor about ways to manage your insomnia.

>> she is odd, unstable and has

a distinct odor of lavender and paper clips. tell us how well i did and how everyone else did not. what do you have besides that crooked smirk of yours? >> a lot, actually. i don't know if you and mk realize how bad the caitlyn jenner discussion was. a lot of different pro nouns being thrown around. he, she, greg, you called her a guy at one point. >> did i really? >> i apologize. >> you at least asked how to talk about it. i looked that up for you. you cannot praise her that's trance phobic. you can't praise him because it is object fying women. but you also can't not talk about it because it is trance phobible. >> i was sag he shing he when referring to bruce. >> donyou don't understand how clear it is. >> i heard an interesting thing

from the bliberal panel who sai gun laws would cause an increase on hgtv -- about hpv. >> how the hpv in switzerland. >> it is two things at all. >> and joe you said you don't like their values but you like the values but not the molesters. is that it? >> i said something to that effect. >> okay. just checking. mk you like to run and you said that dude was enchanting, that is interesting. how many miles in a 4.5k. >> it would be three miles. >> wait a second. who runs a 4.5k? was it the metric system?

>> everyone can do the whole thing. >> that was sad. you are a very sad and strange person. >> i am troubled by your presence. maybe we will see you next week. >> time to take a break but what are the guests leaving with this week. >> tonight's guests will receive a free gutter putter. if you are bad at gulf this is for you. get a gutter putter. all call. either way.thanks gutter butter. thanks for calling angie's list. how may i help you? i heard i could call angie's list if i needed work done around my house at a fair price. you heard right, just tell us what you need done and we'll find a top rated provider to take care of it. so i could get a faulty light switch fixed? yup! or have a guy refinish my floors? absolutely! or send someone out to groom my pookie? pookie's what you call your? my dog. yes, we can do that. real help from real people. come see what the new angie's list can do for you.

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>> finally it was brought to my attention when the show was announced some (bleep) purchased a web site which is the greg gutfeld show.com. since then he has been holding the site for ransom demanding that i have him on the show and if i have him on i will get my url back.

tonight i have given into his demands and he joins us now. this is him. this is real. you got on to the show with my web site. >> absolutely. you were too stupid to buy your own show's web site. so we thought it a good idea to buy it uphold it ransom much like rupert pumpkin did to get on the show. lo and behold here i am. >> it worked. >> it is. and it did. >> it is amazing. >> i am on the greg gutfeld show because i stole his web site. >> how are you going to exchange this web site? >> i on the show so you are giving into my demands. we will find the location. i will make a few phone calls to -- are there any pay phones left? >> no. just the drug dealers.

>> can you reveal yourself who you are. >> finally i will reveal who has come up with an evil plan. >> graoo great show. >> i have good deal on dresses. >> my wife would love that. >> this way. this way. go great down to the store there. >> down there? >> yeah down there. keep going. >> i don't see anything here. >> keep going. keep going right there. keep going. right in there. right in there. in there. keep going. >> maybe come other time. i have got to run.

thanks a lot. i will see you. >> right there. right there. right there. flush flush