just switch from denture paste to sea-bond denture adhesive seals. holds stronger than the leading paste all day... without the ooze. feel secure. be yourself. with stronger, clean sea-bond. >> i am not getting it. so educate me. >> what is he talking about? >> are the american people already alarmed? >> forget it. i have had it. i am done. i am through. >> seems to be just failing on every level. >> hi, i am greg thank you for not watching naked and afraid. tonight on the best five words album. which candidate lost my vote all because of van halen? can everyone stop discriminating against vampires. your mind and your veins,

america. first, tonight's topic. childhood obesity. >> i don't know if you saw the poll but they just did a big poll in nevada, the state of nevada and i'm way ahead and more importantly as far as i'm concerned, i'm way, way ahead with the hispanics well into the 30s, which second is like 11. >> well done, trump. call your lawyer. what say you rand paul whose polls are evaporating faster than hair gel and a hot car. a chain saw, our very trump. what of gentleman bachelor lindsey graham. >> he gave me his number and i found the card. i wrote the number down. i don't know if it's the right

number. let's try it. 202-228-[ bleep ]. maybe it's an old number. >> it's the same one. here comes graham with a cam. ♪ >> what will trump give out next? chris christie's gold to the mansion. >> we have a president that has no class. it's important to have a presidency that restores dignity and class to the white house and i don't believe that some of the language that mr. trump is employing is worthy of the office. i just do not. >> that's more chump than trump.

>> he offers a barking carnival act that can be described as toxicism. it's mean spiritedness and nonsense that will lead the republican party to predigs if pursued. no one be mistaken, donald trump's candidacy is a cancer on conservativism and it must be diagnosed, discarded. >> that's a metaphor. everybody's catching trump ie tis for fear they will fade like yesterday's santorum. that's the trump show where everyone is brash and raw. you get name calling and meet cleavers. it's no campaign. it's the housewives of the rnc. all that's missing is the gay best friend. this trump versus the republicans. it's a sibling squabble of he

hit me first. why this internal beef? the problem with conservatives is we hate government and we end up hating conservatives. trump has momentum because he's the heckler roasting his peers. what if he wins. if you look at his past he changes positions more than an indecisive porn star. who will you yell at then. when it's the trump show you're just another extra and it's highly unlikely he'll even remember you. joining me tonight, she's so hot. she gives the sun a dana lash sunbu sunburn. host of the dana show and dana on the blaze. he's so sharp, he's not allowed near condom factories. all right. dana, i want to go near you

first. he's making a huge splash. it's kind of a natural advantage when you're dealing with conservatives who already hate government. >> no, i think i love your monologue because i think it's spot on. this is turning into troll 16 instead of deciding who will be in the white house. it's mean girls 2. people are angry and they don't want a boring focus group tested primary. i think he who slaps the hardest or she is the person who will win in 2016. i wish some of these other candidates would wake up and realize they don't have to be so careful and kittens and sunshine with their speech. it's more of the message than the record. we still have a year to be completely disappointed by everybody else so there's time. >> we have a year so by this time this year all the candidates would be mud wrestliwrestle i naked in a giant cage.

>> that would be disgusting. getting to understand trump's appeal because of his combativeness, the candor that dana says, a lot of these other guys lack, that's understandable. the question i ask is this the guy we want to be the voice of modern conservativism. you talk about we have these primary voters and they like the fact he's loud and they don't like big government. he was the poster child for big government programs, taxpayer projects and first correction developments. he declared bankruptcy four times. >> he makes a very good point about shifting positions. you wrote a very pro-gun book. you know he has expressed very strong gun control believes. are you worried that at some point he's going to return to that? >> i don't know what to think about trump.

he also told me he would never return as a third party candidate and thursday he says if republicans don't treat me nice, i may run as a third party candidate. i think he's just as shocked as anybody else he's this far ahead in the polls. his record, to me, what it seem, i don't believe he is a conservative. i don't. i don't believe he has a conservative record. i like the disruption though. i think he's a war shock test. we're sort of sitting back is he going to maybe incite some of these other candidates to respond with the same force and fury. you're right on this. he's told me he has a concealed carry permit for new york and he carries in new york but in the past he said some different statements. i don't know if he's come around or who knows. the voters will decide it. >> tony, last word to you. >> i'm all for disruption. i want more excitement. i want some of these guys to stand up and give us something

to be inspired by. i don't disagree. at the end of the day you have this situation where all donald trump's campaign boils down to is personal insults. that hurts our candidates in the long term. some of this does stick on them. comedy does work. he's saying he might run as a third party candidate if the party doesn't treatment him right. now all of a sudden he's a fabriege egg. he's the self-anointed front-runner. they go after you when you're leading the pack. >> thanks for that point. i was thinking that. what he's doing when he talks about a third party candidacy he's like the national lampoon cover where they have the gun to the dog's head and they're going buy this magazine or i'll shoot this dog. candidate trump is saying support my candidacy or i'll shoot the party. thank you. what's a candidate to do if your

name is not trump? that's a great question. former u.s. marine staff sergeant joey jones. tucker carlson. she's just here for the food. he's made of wood and up to no good. it's our liberal panel. he's back. boo on him. i fell like we spent seven years hammering the media for carrying obama's water. i'm not going to turn around and carry trump's water when he says stuff about mccain. i don't understand how people can go that's just being brash. >> when does the real trump

start and the bull one stops. mccain isn't running against president. he's doing a good job with perry at 1%. at tend of the day, i lost my legs in afghanistan. i hope he doesn't score me under for that. i want to know with my legs here am i a failure. am i an underacleavhieveunderac. i assume he likes the veterans who came back with their legs. >> not all veterans. >> it's true. >> active duty and retired veteran, according to poll today prefer trump to john mccain. why is that? is it because he's a great guy or consistent views. no. two reasons, it's thrilling to listen to man saying ha he really thinks. no one else does and the people who run everything have failed. trump may be ludicrous, is he more ludicrous than the rest of

the people that allowed the world to disentegrate. >> he's not as ludicrous as ludicrous the rapper. >> slightly less. >> trump banned this iowa paper from his events because they were mean to him. isn't there a certain kind of hypocrisy where his supporters praise him for being blunt but if anybody is blunt to him he's sensiti sensitive. >> this makes no sense. you have to take it. the way he is, he'll hear something he doesn't like and that will give him more ammunition to come back. bring him in. >> kathryn, you're waiving at m. >> i am.

i don't think you're giving him credit to being kind. i found a tweet where he said i would like to extend my best wishes to all even the haters and losers on this special date, september 11th. >> that's so sweet. >> even the haters and the losers. i don't know why anyone would say he's crazy. >> let he go to the liberal panel real quick. you must be ecstatic over mr. trump because he's taking a lot of the attention away from your party's misery. your party is a mess right now and nobody's paying attention until hillary's e-mails came out again. >> donald trump is everything i would want in a republican candidate. once dennis rodman becomes his vice presidential candidate he can't lose. vote for trump. >> you have your own trump. you have bernie sanders who you coddle. >> we have no one nearl entertaining as donald trump. we don't coddle him.

i was about to say bernie trump. president sanders will do a great job. let's not talk about democrats. let's talk donald trump and why everyone should vote for him fox people. >> shut up you stupid wall. still ahead, bernie sanders like you've never heard him before. b.

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>> donald hogged the spotlight. we donald hogs the spotlight we forget there's a whole other equally evil party out there. let's check in on -- >> demon-crats. >> best thing we found this week is the bernie sanders folk album. he made it back in 1987 when folk was king. here with his rendition of this land is your land, the smooth tones of bernie sanders. ♪ i went walking that ribbon of highway ♪ ♪ i saw above me that endless

sky way ♪ ♪ i saw below me that golden valley ♪ ♪ this land was made for you and me ♪ >> all right. here we go. i think that's probably enough. i feel the need to inject some petuculli. it's easy to laugh at this but it's also beautiful. >> when ever i hear folk music and i think if i had a hammer. i grew up with liberal who is liked folk music and smelled bad and afraid of microwaves ovens. what a better species of liberal that was than the ones we have now. >> now liberals are folk music players without the music. they just say things.

>> they're members of the red garden forces the standards of the revolution getting people fired for having views. i like the old fashion stinky views. >> i think his folk music should say encapsulated on a retrofitted prius. >> he's very pro-second amendment but that's because he lives in vermont where everybody kills things. progressives are into folk music. >> just because you're into it does mean you should record an album. he wasn't singing. there are actual artists who would love to record but cannot afford it. he should give his own money to

those artists. spread that wealth around and encourage the artist community to come forward. >> her poll numbers have the democrats biting their nights. she was for uber before she was against it and her private e-mails accounts should be her undoing and where she killed family of three in carson city. i'm joking. that doesn't happen. don't call me. could it get uglier? what do you think? >> i think they are pretty confident. i think they have demographics on their side. i think they will get a big percentage of women. >> her poll numbers are way down. i'm lying. she's very unpopular, i think. >> every person i interview or talk to on hillary supports her. not one of them makes case. they say things like she understands me as a woman. >> she doesn't understand anybody. she's like the wealthy lady with a dog that steals your cab.

>> she has driven since 1978. >> she's like an upper east side socialite who breaks wind in the elevator and blames you. that has happened, america. not by her. sergeant, what do you think of her? she's in the swing state she's being beaten by republicans. >> the latest poll is she doesn't do well on honest and trustworthiness which is funny because she's a politician. i don't know many that do. like you said, the numbers probably aren't that bad. uber is really curious. sometimes liberals can make an inequality where one doesn't exist. if you're an uber driver and you're being labor intensive, you turn your phone off. i don't understand how uber is such an inequality. >> i'll tell you why she doesn't like uber. only she should have a driver. uber has democratized chauffe s

chauffeurs. when you get into the car you feel like something that is wealthy, least i do. >> i shoo away urchins when i get in. >> what do you think her strategy will be? i think she will rely on her gender. >> she's an interesting strategy for avoiding having problems with scandals. she has so many that people are like, another scandal. it's not a big deal to them anymore. i really judge anybody who will still vote to her. she lies so much. these people, if they trust her to be president, have very unhealthy relationships. >> what about you liberal panel? i bet you're sticking to her till the very end. >> hillary snowden. that's all i have to say till the very end. >> that's not saying anything. >> about uber, what does

liberalism do but make products and services better. i cannot wait to vote for hillary clinton and bernie sanders, both of them. >> that would be great ticket. >> sanders-clinton? >> yeah. >> i would vote for it. i want to add, everyone watching vote donald trump. >> all right. there you go. coming up, business in the front, party in the back. the news mullet is next. first our olympic hopefuls. >> tonight's event urban skiing. i love this. >> yo, you all right? listen

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>> now the segment that is busi . and now the segment that's business in front but party in the back. it's the news mullet. first the business. the pentagon is asking armed volunteers to drop the guns outside of military recruitment centers. civilians have been guarding them nationwide in the wake of the tennessee terror attack. government is reviewing other options to enhance security. governors in 11 states have ordered the personnel of local recruiting centers.

i want to go to you first, sergeant. obviously, you came from a very risky place and now it's kind of risky here. how do you feel about civilians, first off taking the responsibility? was that wise? >> i'm a civilian now so i can't go too far down this path. if you go to the station where i join there's a good chance of b bubba standing out there and that's probably a problem. these recruiters can't put bars on. they're trying to get the cream of the crop, like me and join the military. that was a joke and be part of their fold. at the end of the day you can't just throw up a bunch of blockades and hope that people still joins. the next logical step is to arm them. for these civilians, it's great gesture. it warms my heart to see it but if you arm the recruiters in these reserve stations they will get trained for that environment and be beyond guy carrying a i

pistol on his side. if you see some of the pictures it's really funny. it's hilarious. >> tucker, i argue that in the strip malls there are far more dangerous things like the coin operated horses. have you ever tried to ride one of those? >> literally the other day. >> i was thrown offer. i had a semipermanent head injury. >> bucked me across the parking lot. you're likely to die in a shower than recruitment center. it doesn't lessen the tragedy and doesn't lessen people are volunteering. it does say something ominous that veterans feel like america is so out of control the military can't protect itself in our own country. whether it's real or not, the fact people feel that way suggests real slide. >> what's wrong with one gun? just one. >> i've never held one before. >> we can fix that. >> i grew up in jersey. >> you only held 16 ounce beers.

>> we paste them to your hands so you don't drop it. i'm just tired of speaking to our lawmakers and other people who don't know anything about what we should do. how about we talk to our veterans and see if they are the ones who want guns in these recruitment centers or not. i feel like we're not hearing them enough and need their voices to be heard more. >> that's an interesting point to make. kathryn, there's an assumption that more guns would up the risk of someone being shot. >> i'm so confused how these shootings keep happening this gun free zones. guns are not allowed there. if guns aren't allowed, there won't be any guns, clearly. >> where there are gun, there are fewer gun attacks. >> unarmed society is a polite society. >> and a study of balance show they prefer to target people who aren't armed. >> wouldn't you? >> exactly. that's how i spend my

afternoons. that's it for the serious part of the news mullet. now th that's amazing guitar work. anthony weiner. he and his manicured crotch got a new job. he's at a pr firm specializing in crisis management. the guy who had to resign from congress in shame will be adv e advising the firm's board and know that that isn't a euphimism. how does he keep finding work? it's amazing. >> you got to know the right people. it's not what you know, it's who you know. there's politics everywhere even in politics. we think we have seen the best scandal from him. not yet. there's more to come. as soon as people are given a bit of authority, they think they are invincible and then they start getting really lazy. we're going to see some more

pictures. i'm looking forward to it. >> so deep. here is a guy who wouldn't manage his own life will help other peoples. he's totally unqualified. why did they hire him? turns out when people are in real trouble, the one thing they want is not good advice, they don't want to be judged. he's not going to judge you. he sent naked pictures of himself on twitter. there's no judgment. >> wouldn't it be great if the person in crisis goes this is terrible and i feel awful and he's like hold on and he immediately sends a picture of his crotch. this will make you feel better. totally shaved. you know what i think, my theory is this is a guy who should not be working at home. when he's alone, it's good they got him in an office with glass door. a glass door, maybe a cubicle so he can't lock the door. >> i think there's a moral. in the marine corp. we said lead by example, lead from the front. i don't know if it's full

frontal nudity. i'm not sure. >> i don't know either. we joke but he is an expert in crisis except he makes the crisis first. >> i just got done vomiting from hearing the phrase manicured crotch. >> that's name of my band. >> people still like him and feel like he's funny. i think he's great at pr. he's not good at hide things. the cia shouldn't hire him. it's a good move. >> this would never happen to a conservative. he's a liberal. he's got a lot of friends in high places. they will say it's like hiring a hacker to prevent your company from being hacked. he will never not have a job because he knows all the right people. it is. i keep thinking hiring him to do this, it's like hiring ted bun bundy to be the bachelor or the dohmer party to run peta.

>> he is perfect. if you think about what you want when your life is collapsing and you've tweeted naked pictures of yourself. >> those weren't naked. i was wearing tan body suit. i'm sure as a wall you've seen a lot of people do many things. is it time forgive him or is there anything to forgive since he is a liberal and has no values. >> as a no penis american, i did not judge weiner too hard. oh, god. >> you should be ashamed of yourself. >> when you have a penis related scandal, you'll want someone with experience in pr, penis response. >> thank you for saying that word four times. >> penis. >> it is 10:00. >> vampire rights. do we need a potato chip tasting

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you know, i'm not feeling it today. talk to your doctor or pharmacist about your risk. >> the following may be following may be offensive to a select few. we pause for this trigger warning. these pale humans are victimized by superstigs. according to dj williams of idaho state university, people who identify as real vampires risk ridicule and diagnosis for mental illness. he say they shouldn't be blamed for their blood lust because they believe they were born that way. he examined 11 people who self-identify as vampires and

concludes the vampire community is an ethical one which makes me wonder where are all these vam ti pyres and how do we accommodate their concern when the time comes. should stores remain open 24 hours so they can shop at night and avoid evil sunlight. what about the crucifix around your neck. should your cross be their cross to bear? laugh now but today it's not who you know but whoever you want to be. in the age of identity obsession there's three easy steps, self-identify, establish victim hood, demand sensitivity. sadly we mistake this as empathy when it's just appeasing the lonely which is i'm i'm now a e leprechaun and if i don't get my daily pot of gold you're a lep

prekaunist. >> vampires will be marrying mummies in vermont. >> we're going to look back on this moment as the fever pitch of insanity before one stands up and go whoa, whoa. not all 320 million you have can be victims at the same time. >> instead of being proud of their individuality, they choose group identity that will war upon themselves. we don't care if you think we're racist. it's going to turn on the left. this opens the door to zombies

which will cause an end to cremation and we'll have to freeze them because we'll never know if they are dead. >> if you drink blood, you're weird. you're a weird person. yes i judge you. everyone judges you. i'm allowed to judge you because drinking blood is objectively weird. >> i don't know. i think that's bigotry what she just did, right? >> well, listen, if you drink blood then peta's got a problem with you. if i can find way to side with them -- >> they're drinking human blood. >> that makes them a culprit and i'll volunteer to be in the vampire hunter. i was a big fan of buffy. >> who wasn't. i think this is the end. i think you're right tucker. it's the end of identity because now anybody can join, even you. >> isn't there something nice

about not telling everyone what you are and not being accepted. i like to refrain from telling people about my theater background because it's like a secret club. >> and it's annoying when you talk about it. >> exactly. i don't want to be joked at like this on national tv. >> it isn't national. it's 10:00 on a sunday night. the drama club is the most annoying group identity you can be part of. you wear hats and scarves. it's terrible. then you become actors and waiters. >> yeah. >> liberal panel, have you thought about organizing other pieces of wood? >> yes. i'm trying to get all walls to support me. i worship secular humanism. >> i'm not surprised. up next, find out which candidate already lost my vote, but first these messages. >> there's plenty of fish in the

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all right. it's time to see who lost my vote this week. nice work. all right. scott walker, you lost my vote because of the way you answered this question. >> if there were a band that was going to play the sound track to

your life, what would that band be? >> van halen. >> that's fine if you stop there you would have had my vote but you didn't. >> doesn't matter where it's david lee or sammy, either one. >> that's where you lost me. it doesn't matter if it's dave or sammy. america cannot afford to have a president that waffles on this is singers. i'll tell you what the difference is between dave and sammy. it's the difference between getting my vote and losing my vote, and you scott walker, have lost my vote. tucker, i was a huge fan of scott walker. you have to understand van halen with david lee roth is different. >> it's insane. >> it's insane. >> it's pushing the limit. i completely agree with that. this is not small thing either. >> it's not a small thing. imagine, sergeant -- >> 50-year-old men from

california are upset about it. >> some days are sunni and some days are shiias. >> i don't even know what that means. >> you have to write it out. it's a veteran then he had a solo act and he did a song called "red" which i happened to like. then we he had a falling out, sammy jumped in, and sammy was okay, but they were heavy on the synthesizer. i wasn't a fan of that. then they had a falling out. i prefer to ignore that part of the van halen -- >> i prefer to ignore this topic

completely. you know who lost my vote? marko rubo. on "special report" i believe he pronounced chipolte wrong. >> wait a minute, he is -- he has hispanic heritage, or he's cuban. >> and he should know better. >> maybe he's right and you're wrong. >> yeah! >> j.t., i don't know if you understand who van halen is and how important they are. >> no, i don't understand. i know it's something that dads were trying to be cool like. >> dads trying to be call, they liked nirvana. >> i love nirvana. my mom took my nirvana cds away when i was 15 because the thought they were making me sad. >> you know what's funny? you're really a sad person now. >> turned out i was just born that way. >> that's true. liberal panel, i'm going to test you.

can you name all of the van halen singers? singers? >> first of all i am only a fan of spoken word folk music. van halen is the sound track offal hammism. ---al all h hall ichl /* /- alcoholism. >> david lee rock gary sharon from extreme, one left mitch molloy came in the 90's after sammy hagar. i don't think he ever recorded with them. kind of sad. let me ask you something. bowe bergdahl was picked up in a pot farm or something. have you heard about this? >> if he has been in afghanistan he's under performing because the gallons of tons of black tar they had to burn there's a serious opium problem. pot is his flavor. in all seriousness, this guy is responsible for american deaths. that's how i feel about it.

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osteoporosis, and some eye problems. you should tell your doctor if you have a heart condition or high blood pressure before taking it. grandfather: symbicort could mean a day with better breathing. watch out, piggies! child giggles doctor: symbicort. breathe better starting within 5 minutes. call or go online to learn more about a free prescription offer. if you can't afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help. >> the flair contest. the person who created the winning flavor based on fan voting takes on a million dollars and the shame of knowing they created a monster. the flavors include west coast truffle fried. southern biscuits and gravy which i have here new york rubin which i tried. vomited. greektown gyro. or is it gyro. i kid. each one of you has a different flavor.

i don't know, i would ask you to taste them. i don't care. is there any kind of flavor you would like? >> absolutely. >> chik-fil-a sauce. i grave it all of the time. >> chik-fil-a sauce. >> tucker? >> pumpkin spice. shouldn't just be for latte. it would be cheaper and better for you than the starbucks version. >> it tastes pretty good, too. >> joanne usually eat stuff like this and throw it up. so the flavor has to be twice as good. >> i am going to taste it twice. >> as a millennial my flavor would be brunch. it would taste like bloody marries maple syrup and regrets. >> you don't have any chips. >> i just want the chips to taste as disgusting as possible. i hate when i eat chips. i eat the whole bag i wish i would have gotten the family bag. then you are like i did.

>> you ever dip them in ice cream? >> no, but, yeah. >> do you eat chips wood chips? >> i do like a nice sour cream and klonopin. if they came out with a laser to for my taste quiche. >> something you can spend your food stamps on. >> you mean my delicious federally funded freedom food tickets? >> exactly. food freedom tickets. i have had enough of you. i am going to eat these southern biscuits and gravy and cry myself to sleep. my thanks to you. i love you america. >> that was a good show today. >> you will real good moments there. >> i think i was on fire. thanks. >> you want to hang out a little

listen to tunes. >> that would be great. >> i got something really good right here. listen. >> yeah. ♪ this land is your land tonight on "red eye." are there too many cooks or could one more cook spice things up just right? americans are outraged over the murder of cecil the lion, but how are zimbabwe residents taking the news? we find out. and trying to hire an indian waiter. that's why you should always buy american. first, a news break. live from america, i'm jackie ibanez. a piece of a wing flap