hi she actually said hi to you! ♪you've got what it takes oh, yeah ♪you've got what it takes ♪shine on me today . hi, i'm greg gutfeld. thanks for being a friend. here's what's coming up. a sorority video so outlandish it upset a single feminist. after a complaint that it was they pulled ipt off the web. reporters accuse jeb bush and donald trump of using an offensive immigration term. candidates tell the reporters to go pound sand. which as of august 23rd is not an offensive term. and the ashley madison hack has made a lot of americans very very nervous. but not me. i cannot emphasize that enough. i've missed you, america. let's get started. >> it's dumb. it's absolutely ridiculous. >> he talks talks talks until his time is up. >> it's not journalism.

it's -- i almost said a bad word. >> this poor guy sits up there and just makes a fool of himself. it's just bad. >> this is your chance to hit mute. >> so like a chocolate e claire on alex baldwin's plate, it seems that hillary's campaign is finished the em battled e-mailer is sticking to her story that storing official misses on a private server in new jersey backed up by another server in the closet in a bathroom in a lot of in colorado, which is a state, is no big deal. doesn't every secretary of state do this? but did she try to wipe that server clean? >> did you wipe the whole server? >> you know, i have no idea. that's why we turned it over. >> you were the official in charge. did you wipe the server in. >> what, like with a cloth or something? i don't know. >> you know how it works digitally. >> i don't know how it works

digitally at all. and i know you want to make a point. i cab just n just repeat what i said. >> [ inaudible ]. >> nobody talks to me about it other than you guys. >> she flopped harder than johnny depp's mordecai. now a federal judge says clinton's e-mails violated government policy. usually what a federal judge says is fairly important at least in my house. what does the clinton campaign think of this? let's ask fox's chief white house correspondent and my squash partner, ed henry. ed, i know you're in the hamptons right now. i'm just wondering if below screen you're actually in your swim trunks. >> no. i've got pants on. but what's interesting, a news conference could break out at any point out here in the hamptons because hillary clinton is vacationing here. >> that seemed like a fun interview. did you expect her to kind of flip out like that? >> nit was interesting. i thought it was a fair but

direct and fair question as well. she seemed to struggle with a similar well yes or no. did she wipe the server? if she didn't did she direct someone else? the bottom line is whether i got an inches or not, the fooin's got a bit more power than i do. now that they're investigating this, they've got subpoena power, they've got a criminal investigation open. that's been the game changer in all of this. it's one thing for the republicans on the hill to be beating up hillary clinton. it's easy to take clinton play book and say this is partisanship. once the fbi is involved, the fbi by the way which reports to the obama justice department, it's been a lot harder for her to answe questions. >> biden, seems to be he's going to d.c. for some meetings. what do you think? what does this mean? is he jumping in? >> i think joe biden is edging closer to getting in. you had the fact the story leaked a couple of weeks ago that his late son's dying wish was that his father get in to run for president one more time. in part, the leak at the very beginning said to block the clip

to the clintons from getting the white house back. if you look at this six months ago it would have seemed ridiculous to think this particular vice president who's mad a lot of gaffes and would be a third obama term by the way. usually you don't win when you try a third term of a sitting president. it would improbable he'd have a good shot. now given hillary clinton's e-mail problems, the clinton foundation. they say they want to focus on the positive. she has a lot of explaining to do. that's why her campaign's in big trouble. >> we have to move on. enjoy the rest of your hamptons work plan. i'm sure you've got your spf up very high. >> it's really been wonderful being with you, greg. >> yes. go away, now. let's welcome tonight's other guests. he's got more chops than a ruth chris steak house. awesome actor from "justified"

nick sercy. democratic strategist with doug shown consulting, jessica tarla. he's so bright, lost sailors follow him home at night. media executive producer camille foster. she's just here to finish off our em tis and sleep under a table. joann nososhinski. she's our answer key in comedy glasses. finally and most certainly least our liberal panel. nick, i want to go to you first. is hillary clinton overer is she over? >> well, i'll just put it like she did. that's like she created the greatest meme in internet history. >> it's awesome. >> yeah. >> it's like -- it's not going well for her, is it? >> no. and you know, it's remarkable. i was watching that exchange. and she's very testy. >> yes. >> she gets very upset very easily. and i think that's common with a lot of democrats because they're not used to being questioned at

all. >> she seems like it's the end of "fargo" the movie when they koir jerry lundergard in the bedroom. she wants to get away but she can't. >> she can because you probably won't see her for another month. it was shocking she did this in the first place. that exchange was 4 1/2 minutes. she really engaged with ed which i think is a good thing or moving in the right direction. but another bad joke came out on the heels of the snap chat joke which i think is going to go down in history as one of the bigger political mistakes that you could make mid maybe almost federal indictment or whatever is going to happen out of this. but as to the point of she's over she's still leading in the polls. 18 points and it used to be 60. that's a big difference and bernie sanders is gaining. but i don't think we're going to elect bernie sanders. and joe biden needs her infrastructure. we're talking about it. it's interesting. but at the end of the day they'll be going for the same people. i think democrats are not quite ready to abandon the clinton ship here. >> i kind of agree with you. but then camille, i look and i

see it seems to me she's lost control of the event. it's like a child who let go of his birthday balloon and he's heading towards a power line. >> but it's still so early. i think that's what's really important here. if all of this was playing out in sort of the heat of the election and we were down to two people, maybe this would matter a lot more. i wonder if we keep talking about it now the voters don't fatigue on the issue and the only thing that could make this a federal case is it becoming a federal case. >> that's a good point. >> i try. >> joann, you failed many times in life but you bounce back. what is your advice for hillary right now. >> >> oh, she has to fully commit. there's someone on her campaign staff who is telling her, you need to make these jokes. but she's really not committing to them. i'm suggesting that next her campaign, she needs to add it to the joke. and it should be "wipeout". >> very nice. i like that. >> she can just always answer to that and everyone laughs. >> that's very cute. kathryn, apparently the democrats want a woman in the

white house because let's face it it's a historical first. i want a clarinet player. i happen to think we need a clarinet player as a first. do any of the candidates play a clarinet? >> yes. jim gilmore plays the clarinet. >> really? >> yeah. he in school made it to the all county, all regional and all student usa band. >> really? >> very big moment for the gilmore family. >> do you think that's going to -- do you think that's going to play a role in his candidacy? could that bring him back? >> i think that it could. because it could be a viral video if he gave a speech and started playing a clarinet instead. people would think that's real wacky. >> who doesn't like wacky. speaking of wacky, liberal panel, are you worried about your chosen candidate? it was supposed to be a coronation. now it's an annihilation. thank you. that almost rhymed. >> no, greg. and i'm shocked and offended you would malign our greatest secretary of state of all time in this way. if there's one thing we know about the clintons, they do not

like evidence. i think her jokes are hilarious. if i were a brick wall i would want her to stand in front of me. >> carly fiorina crushed it in the smaller of the two fox republican debates and her latest poll numbers jumped. she's in seventh place among the gop candidates. yet if cnn keeps to their rules as they are, carly won't go farley not making the cut for the next debate in september because cnn is averaging polls that go back to july 16th before the fox debate. did you follow that, nick, and is that fair? >> is this that cnn's keeping her off because they're scared of her. >> she would be good with trump, right, jessica ca? >> the trump show is over. he's sucking up so much energy, so much air time. all of it out of the debates. because he has this 25% of the vote. then you have all these people who have legitimate ideas, they deserve to be heard and they're

getting pushed out. >> yeah. >> because of it. i mean, but the public has spoken. and they're into trump. i mean, you're into carly but many others are into trump. >> it's not right. to me i don't think it's fair, kmele. >> cnn is able to use whatever they like to. but there's plenty of momentum there and voters like to whaer what she has to say. >> carly fiorina has what donald trump has. she has new ideas. we need her on that stage. because where trump doesn't give any sort of policy or any actual statistics or facts, fiorina does. >> isn't that what voters actually like, he's not saying a great deal of substance, giving them great laugh lines and pushing back against the commentators? >> entertainment at its finest of course. but as these debates go on we're getting closer to electing a president who needs those facts. >> i find facts to be very complicated, cat. i'm learning through this process that the fewer facts you

have the further you go. am i correct? >> no. >> or farther? >> you have to be a little wacky and fun and interesting. but facts are a nice bonus. >> all right. >> yeah. especially with the internet available with all the facts. >> i got a question for the liberal panel. as much as obama might loathe the clip tontons, i don't think they'll have the justice department indict hillary. because the clintons are like obama's obnoxious neighbors. you can't stand them, but you don't want to start a fight with them because then they'll run over your mailbox and they'll probably drug your dog. >> oh. >> well, greg, once again i'm shocked and offended you would ask me that. and you're all wrong again. i think hillary will get a congressional medal of honor. not only is she not destroying printed e-mails k she's actually destroying digital e-mails. think of how small her carbon footprint is. >> very good point, you talking piece of crap. all right. before we go, a quick update on a story that we've been following closely earlier this

week off the coast of cape cod. an actual place. a gray seal escapes certain death. why do we have to care about the color? at the jaws of a great of course white shark. the incredible video went viral but i couldn't help but wonder what happened to these animals? so i sent a reporter to find out. here's our latest installment of where are they now. >> well, this is a story of one lucky seal. he's fast, too. watch this. he leaps, there he goes. and there goes the great white shark. >> oh, my gosh. >> he's right after him. >> that's great. what happened? >> amazing. he got away. >> he wasn't dinner or lunch. >> he wasn't dinner or lunch. >> that was on wednesday. great white shark carl silver tooth and seal jonathan whiskerton became instant celebrities after the confrontation was broadcast on national tv. but the fame immediately took the pair in opposite directions. silver tooth was called a bully on social media, and shunned by

the rest of the underwater predator community. completely alone and afraid of hunting again, he swam to the deepest place on earth, the mariano trench. he was never seen again. whiskerton, meanwhile, found his newfound fame and is meeting with producer jerry buckheimer who unt duesed him to another famous seal. sources say the pair are now developing a new game show for nbc called seal or no seal. the legendary performer called the move a no-brainer. >> when somebody asks you to be a part of something so wonderful, that's an invitation i couldn't resist. >> this has been a where are they now. >> congratulations to both seals on the new project. it's time now to take a break. up next, we discuss a guy whose name rhymes with donald trump. yes. ronald clump my opthalmologist. he's a wonderful guy next. ♪

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>> here's the thing. the word anchor not the word anchor not offensive. the word babies not offensive. if i put those two words together i'd better have the trigger warning handy. trigger the horse.

anchor babies, donald trump used that term a few times this week while laying out his immigration plan. until a reporter told trump he can't be going around saying that. >> are you aware that the term "anchor babies" is an offensive term. >> you mean it's not politically correct and everybody uses it? give me a different term. what else would you like to say? >> how about children born of undocumented immigrants. >> i'll use the word "anchor babies". >> it makes me laugh. along comes jeb bush who really doesn't want to have to agree with trump on anything says the same thing trump said. >> do you regret using the term "anchor babies" yesterday on the radio? >> no, i didn't. i don't regret it. do you have a better term? >> i'm asking you. a lot of folks find it offensive. >> you give me a better term and i'll use it. i'm serious. don't yell at me behind my ear, though >> yes. that's offensive. hillary who had been having the worst week ever tweets to jeb

they're called babies. unless of course if they're at planned parenthood. then of course they're anchor tissue. before i go to the panel -- i'm curious about when did anchor baby become offensive? cat, do you know when it was decided why? how? >> yes. 2006. >> really? >> grant barrett of the "new york times" declared it derogatory. yes. so everybody should be listening to the "new york times." >> i do. >> yeah. apparently donald trump doesn't. >> okay. maybe that's why america is embracing him. kmele, isn't this a strategy of the left to go after the language and decide what words we can use and what we can't use? >> i've seen that strategy deployed a few time. i mean, the real issue here for me isn't that anchor baby is offensive. it's that this whole description of a phenomenon is not factually accurate. we don't actually have this thing where people are having children and then they get to stay here forever magically. >> we don't? >> that's not how the whole

process works. there are plenty of immigration lawyers who would sit here happily instead of me and explain it. i'm not one of those. but that's not how it works. i'm just saying they would be better at me than explaining that. >> it's a miniscule problem or not a problem at all? >> i'm saying it's a miniscule problem. i have not read anything to suggest that there is this rash of people who are having children here and then get to stay here indefinitely. the ability to do something starts at 18. you have to hide this child away until they're 18 so they can do something? >> i happen to have a stack of names of -- oh, no, those aren't it. i wish i did. >> if it wasn't happening at all, why would they have made up an offensive term about it? >> that's a good point. >> sort of like welfare queen. simply because it's not factual doesn't mean that talk about it doesn't get you some points. >> when did it happen so often that they came up with this little catch phrase about it? i mean, it must have happened quite a few times. >> recent. >> at least ten times.

>> that's all it takes. >> in 2006 it was a debatable issue because of the presidential election. so a lot of people were talking about immigration then. so that's why it kept coming up. >> but look, welfare queen was actually a tribute band to queen on a very limited budget. it got twisted into something really weird. i think the problem with this thing is that it's actually -- in trump's list of things to do there was actually good stuff in there. >> that's all lost now. to the constitution kind of. he's like i'm not actually going to do an amendment. a lot of good or maybe terrific i'm not sure lawyers who agree with me and we're going to litigate this all over the place. when he's talking about e. verify, cuffer enfortough are ee says that now we're talking about anchor babies. the p.c. police and you really start missing the point. this idea you're going to deport

american citizens, 11 to 14 million people here we need to deal with. >> i'm all for deporting people with man buns. >> not the really good-looking ones, please. >> well, there's none. trust me. >> no, there are. >> i've been doing research i want to move onto friday's alabama rally which was pretty amazing. i spoke to -- donald spoke to a crowd of about 30,000 there in alabama where he took a dooky on a cooky. >> i love oreos. i'll never eat them again. nabisco closes the plant they just announced a couple of days ago in chicago and they're moving the plant to mexico. now, why? w why? >> this is the first i've heard. he's actually correct about this. i want to go to cat again. why are they moving the plant? >> because policies in america make companies pay twice the

world's average for sugar. >> really? >> yep. >> is that necessarily nabisco's fault? >> no, it's the government's fault. sugar is the number one ingredient in these cookies. can't have cookies without sugar. go to mexico. you can have a lot more cookie profits. >> that's true. okay. so he shouldn't really blame nabisco, he should blame the government which he happens to be good at. nick, i watched the rally last night. i watched the whole thing. i have to say that he's very entertaining. and he is great with a crowd. but he reminds me of like kind of like your rich uncle who wants to tell you a bunch of stories. and it's kind of fun. but then you want to go home. but he's having such a good time. and he tells the same stories. i've heard the story about ford. and i know that carl icahn is a great guy. >> right. >> i know that already. but it is working, right? >> well, he is like a stand up. i mean, i've seen him now a couple of times, i saw him once

live and he's hilarious. and that sort of aspect of his campaign is sort of irresistible. i mean, i kind of went from thinking he was funny to thinking he was awful and dangerous, and now i'm back to thinking he's funny again. >> winning me over with just his no i don't give a [ mute ] attitude. and he's actually kind of entertaining. jessica, this is my theory is that if trump could split these things apart. like if he could take this enthusiastic phenomenon and separate it from the unrealistic quixotic stuff about anchor babies he could win. >> yeah. but he might want to take a real adviser maybe to talk to him about that or have some infrastructure or read about policy or study history in some ways. there are things that he can do to better his campaign that way. but he's not interested. that's why he's so relatable and my people love him. so much of the country is very opinionated and very passionate. they're like he sounds like me. he sounds like my family.

but as you get farther along, that's not going to carry. >> yeah. >> i'll tell you what, kmele. you know what would make me work for trump? >> what's that? >> if he was in a confrontation the way bernie sanders was with black lives matter. if he handled a confrontation like that the way you would expect him to, i think that he would win like the stand up to people who are i guess aggressively p.c. i guess. >> sure. that would be nice. >> it would be. >> battling the facts would be nice if he had the sophistication to talk about the issues of policy that actually make it hard for american companies to operate here within the borders of the country instead of pandering to the audience and talking about immigration as though that is the single reason why america isn't doing as well as it could be. build the wall. build a moat. weaponize drones and shoot them at the border. it's ridiculous. >> i agree that this is not the -- making america great again doesn't require you deporting everybody that's

illegal. there are other things, terror, especially, is an important part they think he's missing. the other thing i like, though, about him is that he remains me of me at a bar. like you know when you've been there. i just start talking. and you've heard the stories but you just kind of laugh and smile. >> because i have an flask hidden in my jacket and i can only listen to you when i'm equally as intoxicated. if i were going to one of these events i'm sure they pat you down. but you can sneak something in. i'm sure people are a little loose there. >> tailgating party. >> i got to tell you at least he's having fun and people are having fun. liberal panel, you're probably against fun. >> well, i'll say this is clearly cookie privilege. >> yes. how so? >> we all know that you should eat hydrox instead of oreos because hydrox are vegan and

made in canada. they can't enjoy a glass of milk with this. under represented. >> the good things about oreos they are biracial. >> white on the inside. nice try, greg. >> just trying play your game since you're always consumed with color. all right. we've got to take a break. coming up, ashley madison, offensive commercial, and e-mails. not all at once, of course. that's why god invented the dimension of time so we can spread things out. do you notice that? first it's time once again to take a look at some of the tougher questions facing the presidential candidates on the 2016 trail. i'm excited. >> coming up this week on the campaign trail 2016. hillary clinton heads to fund rarzs raisers in new england. is she promising to build a real death star by the end of her first term? >> we can do this if we are committed to it. >> ben carson rallies voters in iowa. but if elected, what sports would he outlaw first?

>> baseball, basketball, football, dodgeball. i don't believe in any of that crap. >> and finally, john kasich holds a town hall in new hampshire. but does he really think we need to bring back crystal pepsi? >> america needs that again in my opinion. >> honestly, until next week on the campaign trail 2016. here at td ameritrade, they love innovating. and apparently, they also love stickers. what's up with these things, victor? we decided to give ourselves stickers for each feature we release. we read about 10,000 suggestions a week to create features that as traders we'd want to use, like social signals, a tool that uses social media to help with research. 10,000 suggestions. who reads all those? he does.

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>> a recruitment video by a university of alabama sorority a recruitment video by a sorority is the subject of grave outrage by grave outrage merchants because it showed this, the girls having fun. ♪ >> the pushback was led by angry writer a.l. bailey for it lacked ethnic diversity. see the evil again. ♪ >> horrible! they even gave each other piggyback rides in bikinis! ♪

>> great. >> really mocking one-eyed people. bailey condemns the video as so racially and esthetically homogeneous and forced, so hierp feminine, so reductive and object tying. so steph ford wives. college edition. it's also unempowering. >> who is this stepford wife exactly? i guess you would have preferred this instead. >> i want -- the old growth trees i'm seeing. >> it's actually an msnbc's ideas meeting. but like typical cowards faced with the microaggrieved, a university offer alabama said this video is not reflective of ua's expectations for student

organizations." as of yet no disciplinary is being taken against the alphas, but the backlash was so harsh they deleted the video from all social media. which is sad when you consider shawn king, a biracial spokes mouth for blacks lives matter who's family members now confirm to cnn he's white. he denies this saying he doesn't know who his daddy is. could he be the male version of rachel dolezal? who knows? when somebody accuses you of being too white or too blond, tell them you're black. after all since identity is now fluid and hoaxes are acceptable, who's to say you aren't? as of now i'm a transgendered eskimo. i go to you for no apparent reason, kmele. why can't they say they're black if identity now seems to be a choice? >> i'm fine with that, actually.

as we discussied before i am racially agnostic. >> you don't consider yourself blacks? >> i don't care about such things. it doesn't really mean anything. i'll all sorts of great stuff like a husband and business owner and brother and nephew. i don't need that. >> i could use some of that stuff. had a pretty rough life, nick. were you as offended by the video as i was? >> i was offended by the lack of men in it. because of the hyperfemininity in that video i'm going to do a little man spreading right now if you don't mind. >> too hot for me. >> do you know that they have man spreading is when men's legs widen on the subway. they have signs in the new york subway that tell you not to do that. but they don't have signs that say" please don't throw up on me, transient". >> they have a lot of like don't

touch me now. this is an okay we may be closely packed in but please don't touch the person next to you inappropriately. >> don't feel my buttocks. >> we need a video to explain to the public. >> i think we do. >> an ethnically diverse one. >> exactly. but they won't look like they're homeless. they'll look like helpsteipste brooklyn. >> major social change is often brought around by pressure. i'm not advocating for that necessarily in this instance. but that video i was watching it. and i got excited when i finally saw a brunette. like a minute in. >> i thought about that, too. >> sororities always seem ridiculous to me. i went to an all women's college, though. so it was kind of like a sorority, anyway. since when do they hold vot sororities and fraternities up to this standard? if you don't want to be a part of it save your money for

something else. >> what is in that article they talked about a racial discrimination case. there was a black girl who got amazing scores, whatever that means. and she was still rejected. they said undoubtedly on tbasis of her race. we know that's not right. >> why did you rue thin story with a fact, jessica? she's never on the show again. coming up, i shove an entire cock pail napkin in nick jersey's ear. first what's the latest on the ashley madison hack? don't leave now or you'll never find out.

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>> they screwed those who they screwed those who wished to screw others. the group that hacked infidelity web site ashley madison last month made good goode on their threat to post phone numbers, addresses and names of millions of users.

the group behind the breach said they did it because of ashley madison's supposed full delete feature. apparently for 19 bucks repent end cheaters could scrub their info from the site. the hackers called it a complete lie explaining "users almost always pay with credit card. their purchase details are no not removed as promised and include real name and address which is of course the most important information the years want removed". >> i was remad they rejected my application for so many years. >> there's a lot of fetishes involved, nick. not just wearing loud shirts with blazers. >> right. >> joann, i have a theory. why do so many people join ashley madison? it's because it's advertised late at night. used to be advertised during red eye. so it's like 3:30 in the morning

and you're alone. all these nice people are alone and they sign up. they are targeted. these are our people, joann. >> we need to go back to like late night home shopping network kind of stuff. you need your guilty pleasure to be spending your hard-earned money on things you don't need. i do feel really bad. we think about us in this country, right? but this is like a global site. people all around the world. and it's outing a lot of homosexu homosexuals. in some countries, too, even cheating is punishable by law. >> they could be killed. >> yeah. so we can like joke about it, whatever. oh, these cheaters getting what they deserve. but a lot of people are getting what they really don't deserve. >> that's a very good point and somber at that. that took a lot of humor out of this, jessica. she did what you did last segment. >> i wholeheartedly apologize for the fact. but no, i agree with you. i mean, there are so many venues for doing this now. it's kind of ridiculous. i'm sure people on tinder just all day. that's another venue for it

where you think you won't get caught but you're in the same network as a million people you know. and there's nowhere safe to cheat. maybe that's a good thing. >> singles bar. see, i think, kmele, you got to go back to the oral legend of talking to people face-to-face. you go down to the regal beagle. remember the regal beagle? that was the bar in "three's company". >> i have no experience with any of this stuff. i will admit to having searched for a bunch of my buddies like e-mail addresses just to see who would come up. i found one hit. what i have to say to him is sir, why did you use your real e-mail address? it wasn't mandatory, it wasn't required. >> one of the government employees? >> yeah. another sad part of this story apparently the scam. most of these guys weren't hooking up. buying credits to try to talk to women who weren't really there. very sad all around. >> i have a dumb question, cat. who is ashley madison? >> ashley madison is not a specific person. what they did is they combined ashley and madison because they were two common female names to

try to attract women. >> oh. >> that way women would say wait, i'm ashley, too. i should have an affair. >> that's a great idea. all right. we've got to take a break. when we come back, some of the most effective commercials you'll ever see. none of them include my hero, william devain. but first a word from our sponsor. >> tonight's show is sponsored by safeway polo. looking for a potential sport that lets you look like a total dork while doing it? try segway polo today. go get help, boy. go get help. go get help! right now! if you're a cat, you ignore people. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. go on kitty, kitty...

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honda was forced to pull that ad from british tv recently because it was said to encourage dangerous driving. got me thinking. what other problematic ads are poisoning our airwaves? our very own kathryn timp has watched 7,000 straight hours of tv to uncover the best of the worst for a new segment we're calling -- >> thanks, greg. i was blown away by the disgusting content of some of these commercials. like this one for a web domain

company? >> you never know when an idea will hit you. when it does, make it official. >> cabbage taco truck. right. >> yep. you saw that correctly. a black car chasing a white person. all right? we get it. white has to be afraid of black, right? isn't that engrained enough already in our society? you don't seem upset. you're probably thinking it's just a cabbage. but the cabbage is driving a black car, which is clearly meant to represent a black male. right? just because you have to look really hard to find microaggressions doesn't mean they're not there. >> i agree. and why do we have to call them micro? why is size so important? aren't they all macro aggressions if they hurt you? >> it's important.

well, maybe here's this other one for an slovakian car company. >> okay. >> the message here is pretty clear, right, greg? >> um no. >> white men think that chicks can't take care of themselves? can you believe that they even used chicks to represent us? we all know that chicks is a derogatory term, okay? look at this. he is literally picking up a chick, which is the exact kind of attitude that perpetuates rape culture. does that look like the face of someone who's consenting, greg? >> it's hard to say because as you said it's like a chick. but i don't even look at women's faces, because i find that my eyes are vessels of patriarchy. >> that's true. they are. all right.

well, i have one more. but i just want to warn you, this one is very upsetting. >> all right. >> hey, i'm mini babybel. i'm a superhero. >> what's your superpower? >> a cheese with super long shelf. >> i'm super cheese, too. super cheese. super cheese. >> made with 98% mill zblk so the superhero comes out. it's a white male cheese. how original. oh, look, we have another one come out and it's another white male cheese. is it too much to ask to have just one nonwhite feminist gender nonconforming cheese? it's 2015, for crying out loud. and they have the audacity to admit that it's 98% milk, too? that's not diversity, greg. that's a problem. and if you disagree with me then you're the problem. >> well, you know, that's why i don't drink white milk. i only drink chocolate milk. it's just something i like to

do. all right. up next it's the debut of greg's mail. that's where i answer the questions that you send in. it's never been done in the history of cable, i believe. but first, let's check in with our studio audience. thank you for being here, everyone. you look as great as always. quick show of hands. how many of you think i look like a young mel gibson? oh, can't help what the people believe. [ music and whistling ]

when you go the extra mile to help business owners save on commercial auto insurance, you tend to draw a following. [ brakes screech ]

flo: unh... [ tires squeal, brakes screech, horn honks ] ooh, ooh! [ back-up beeping, honking ] a truckload of discounts for your business -- now, that's progressive. excuse me, uh, is that anything like, uh,ce and repair. cars.com's new feature called service and repair? no, because with ours you'll know the cost of labor and parts in your area, anyone, anyone else? like, like cars.com? so you'll never pay more than you should. like, cars.com? excuse me one second. she's totally right. i messed up, i'm sorry. cancel the ipo. research, price, find. now get the right service, without all the drama. cars.com. all drive. no drama.

yes. it's time for greg mail. the address is greg mail at fox news.com. i read, he answers. then we all thank god we're not related to him. here we go. greg, the first one comes from pam. love pam. greg, will you please consider running for president? you really have some fantastic insights and ideas.

>> well, that is true. i do have many insights. and i have been approached to run for president. i've given it serious thought. but then i realized it would be a grave mistake, for there are many things -- some things in my past -- that i would prefer to keep in my past. ♪ >> actually, not that. i'm actually proud of that film. i was referring to the german art films i made in the late 80s. i destroyed a number of coffee tables, joann. >> yeah. your campaign wouldn't have a leg to stand on. unlike your art over there. >> thank you. >> okay. next one, linda wonders, what are you looking at over your left shoulder during the show? >> oh, wow, she is quite observant. i often get easily distracted. but here's why i look over there. yes, see, that's dick.

he's our nude cameraman. he's actually one of the best in the business. but he only works nude. and we've all learned to accept it. and maybe it's time you should, too, america. and you, joann. >> yeah, i'm trying not to be fleshist. >> that's good. >> because that happens. moving on. gary asks, when are you getting fox's most frequent face, mr. william devane, on your show? you know you love him. >> i tried to contact mr. devane or billy as i used to call him. but it's been a long time since we talked. he no longer speaks to me, it was after an incident that took place on his farm in dallas. it seems that it was not really the correct way to ride a horse. and i'm not allowed anymore on any of his properties, which is a shame because i'm quite the outdoorsman, joann. here's a video of me at my own ranch.

>> oh, it's over, isn't it? thank you, joann. and to my panel, the liberal panel, i'm greg gutfeld and i love you. tonight on "red eye." a fraternity in virginia invites freshmen daughters and their m months to drop in for a visit. who says chivalry is dead? and jeb bush's mom says we've had too many bushes in the white house. sorry, jeb. george is still the favorite. and a boy accidentally punches a hole through a famous, would of art, but can you blame him? have you been toted -- have you been to the warhol