tv The Greg Gutfeld Show FOX News September 19, 2015 10:00pm-11:01pm PDT
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i'm greg gutfeld. please hold your applause until the end. here's what's coming up. the three-hour cnn debate. exhausted and sweaty, just like me after my new spin class. tonight the winners, the losers and the private pictures i have. the smackdown, donald trump does not smack down. said the president wasn't an american. in the battle between comedians, and the kids, silverman sides with the kids. america, you smell great. like a kitten soaked in lilacs.
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let's get started. >> this is on his personal legacy. >> i have to agree it's a little bit childish. >> i think it's so stupid. i don't think it's necessarily offensive. >> just ridiculous. >> shut up, racist. keep quiet. >> so, last week, debate, like a big roast chicken. one you could pick at for hours. some of it was tasty. some of it was dry. other parts were stringy and weird. and after that feast, you felt bloated and sweaty like you had eaten a beach ball made of jackal fur. what did we learn? there's no padding in polamices.
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like senior citizen tag. the kiddie table without carly, like watching the pit without gladys. at least this fella killed. >> i wasn't the best law student. by the end of this debate, it will be the most time i ever spent in any library. >> he would have been a great next door neighbor on "the golden girls," always there with a grin, and a wrench to fix a leak. and then later he satisfies blanche. we also learned that ted cruz will never stop kissing trump's rump. his slogan should be ted cruz, i'm donald, without money. >> i'm very glad that donald trump's being in this race has forced the mainstream media finally to talk about illegal immigration. >> finally. he's like the guy in high school who holds the jock's jacket while beating up nerds.
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but ted also taught us how to stare. >> if i'm elected president on the very first day in office, i will rip to shreds this catastrophic iranian nuclear deal. >> awesome. like you're trapped in an elevator with a street magician. he's every store manager who accused me of shoplifting. and what happened to ben? >> i don't want to really get into describing who the politicians, and who's not a politician. but i think the people have kind of made that decision for themselves. >> if ben got any more relaxed, he would be a jimmy buffett song. and then there's poor huckabee. >> i would certainly love to get in on this. >> i want to ask this question. >> he waited 45 minutes for that first question. he was like a gay couple trying to get a marriage license in
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moorhead. moorhead. that's ironic. what are the tough questions? >> earlier thissier the treasury department announced a one will appear on the $10 bill. what woman would you like to see on the $10 bill? >> ooh, that's a tough one. >> sadly, no one said caitlin jenner. doesn't anyone want to win this election? and the nonsense on vaccines. >> 25 years ago, 35 years ago, you look at the statistics, not even close. >> he's an okay doctor. >> that was not science-y. we had two doctors up there, and neither resuscitated the truth. are my fillings really listening devices? finally, of course, trump. >> first of all, rand paul shouldn't be here on this stage. >> attack people on their appearance, short, tall, fat, ugly. my goodness, that happened in junior high. are we not way above that?
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>> iever attacked him on his looks. and believe me, there's plenty of subject matter right there. >> he threw the entire tree at rand paul. that was it for him. donald coasted on past promises. >> we have a lot of really bad dudes in this country. if i get elected, first day, they're gone. i will have the finest team that anybody's put together. i promise. if i wanted it, i would have gotten it. >> his theory is, why prepare and then lose. if he wins, he'll just hire the people. a strategy, but not a great one. the world is full of bad actors, some are world powers, some are smaller factions who see your debt as the stepping stones to virgins. putin, iran, north korea, they're all bad. but now technology can turn any punk into bin laden. unless our leaders face the deadly music, we'll face it ourselves. no platitudes will save us then.
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let's welcome tonight's guest. a genius, activist, and what in god's name is he doing here. human rights foundation chairman. got a new book coming out next month called winter is coming. you've got to buy it. the sun is mentioned in her family tree. one of my favorite co-hosts on "the five." and making the case. like a giant slab of hot roast beef, this guy is on a roll. actor and comedian, star of robert kelly live at village underground. he's currently starring in the series sex and drug and rock 'n roll. among other 20 shows he's on. seriously, robert, take a break. she'll drink you under the table if she could afford a table, she spends all her money on gin. >> great resume right there. >> there you go. she would be the gobi desert.
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and finally, stiff as wood and up to no good, our liberal panel booth. i've got to go to you first. right now putin is amassing offensive weapons in syria. he's all over the place. what president would you see would be best suited to deal with putin out of the bunch that you saw? >> marco rubio. >> yes. >> he understands the nature of the regimes. he has passion, he has principles, and he repeatedly said that he would do certain things that are right in dealing with putin, chinese, north koreans, iranians. >> he came prepared. could trump be our putin? >> no. trump will be a berlusconi. politics, for money, promoting his own interests and businesses.
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he's definitely the worst of the bunch. >> the bunga bunga party. >> those were fun. i only went to a couple of them. i have no memory of them. i believe i was roofied by berlusconi. robert, as a comedian, you are salivating over trump. >> yes. >> so what did you make of the debate, first of all, and what do you make of trump? >> the debate is one of the best shows on tv. i wish i was on it. trump is, he's great. but everybody, carly is -- i mean, her energy is -- i feel like she's going to make a coat out of like 101 dalmatians, you know what i mean? she's just ruthless. >> she will fire you. you know how donald said you're fired? carly actually fires. >> everybody. >> she fires everybody. >> and rand paul, it's like every time they show him, i can't help but get -- he looks
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like mrs. roper. >> oh, god. >> the hair. >> the hair. i can't trust anybody who has the same hairstyle as mrs. roper. carly, there's one thing that i hate, she uses hs before w words. like why. why. it almost bugs me as much as people who go schedule. i really want to stab somebody with a pencil. why is right up there. >> profound commentary. i wonder if that signifies some kind of disorder. you'll have to do an apology on "the view." we talked about this for days on end. do you have any interesting insights? >> i don't even know why i'm here, actually. i love the set. what an upgrade from "the five." i think now we see everybody's pretty much into the carly fiorina thing. but she's a little bit scary. very hard core. so i think maybe putin would be very afraid of her.
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and marco rubio i like a lot. he has a strong command of foreign policy. i'm also into whoever's controlling the pa loan yum plant. >> he swept like his wife sitting next to his mistress in the audience. >> he has a problem. >> but he's healthy. i want a healthy president. >> that's good. >> all that water he drinks. right? >> that's a good point. jo ann, he was sweating because it was a three-hour debate. which is almost like reading a book for you. >> you know what, though, if we're talking about the longevity, like the books i don't read, carly standing in those high heels for three hours, i dare you to try it. i dare you, greg. >> i have. >> and you won't be able to. as a millennial, i definitely enjoyed the entertaining aspect of the debate. that last hour, thank god they tacked that on where they asked the code names.
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and they asked about the woman on the bills. because that really got my attention. >> right. those are the millennial questions. >> they didn't need the last hour. the whole debate was a bust, in my opinion, because no one won it, and no one lost it in my opinion. there was no winner. there's no one who i was like, yes, now i know who will get the nomination. >> i have a theory on that. but the last hour should have been amputated like a bad limb. whenever i watch these debates, i wonder, are those podiums or lecterns, what's the difference and where are the podiums from? >> these are actually lecterns. the podium is a raised platform on which the speaker stands. whereas, a lectern is the slanted stand on which a speaker places his or her notes. >> wow. >> duh! there were no platforms. and they are available on lecterns and podiums.com.
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but i wouldn't be surprised if they use something like amazon.com, because after it is the largest internet based retailer in the united states. >> the last fact you tacked on like the third hour of the debate, it wasn't necessary. we know amazon is big. you got a b-plus. i want to go to the liberal panel. my question to you, liberal panel is, we have, republicans, i'm not a republican, i'm a conservative, but we have a ton of great candidates. and i look over at your side and i feel bad. should we actually lend some of our candidates over to the democrats, since your team is so pathetic? i think you have one and a half candidates. >> we have good candidates. we have people who actually have platforms, just like the one you were talking about. people actually stand for something. which is unlike what we saw there. you know who won that debate, by the way? >> who? >> hillary clinton. >> oh, please, she was too busy ditching her e-mails. you make me sick.
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that's her laugh, you just did her laugh. you piece of wood. you piece of termite-ridden bark. >> that's what's so great about trump, he knows how to build walls. >> that's true. what does that mean? before i i've got to ask you. because you're the muhammad ali of chess. there's always these retired boxers that sit around, and people come into the bar and challenge them to a fire. does anybody come up to you and challenge you to chess? >> i don't go to bars. i'll play chess right now and beat them. i'm kidding. >> i've got one finishing point. what donald trump did on the debate, he would fire somebody at the "apprentice." imagine if somebody said i'm going to sell you so many cupcakes, you'll be sick of cupcakes. donald trump will say sell the cupcakes. and then say no, not until you hire me. you'll see all this happen. can we have specifics? you've got to elect me first,
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then you'll see the specifics. >> you said cupcakes. donald trump looks like a cotton candy candidate. it looks like it tastes good, but too much makes you sick. >> that's true. i once ate cotton candy for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and i'll tell you, it wasn't healthy. >> she talks to people like he talks to his wife. can we have an addition on the house? i'll look into it. i've got a guy i know. another guy. i'll get back to you. i've got a couple of weeks and i'll work it out. >> that's amazing. you just nailed it. >> it will make your marriage great again. >> all right. before we go, a quick look at what our millennials, jo ann and katherine did during the debate. last time they sat around in pajamas and spit cough drops into each other's mouths. >> all right. almost time to watch the debate. are you excited?
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>> yeah. i think we should have even more fun than we had last time. >> okay. >> we can play a game. >> awesome. yes! . what are you drinking? >> no, not a drinking game. a crossfit game. >> wow. yeah. every time a candidate says or does what's listed, we do the corresponding exercise. >> okay. some of those look really obscure. i don't know how much working out we're actually going to do. >> exactly. i don't want to work out at all. i just want joann to take one night off from drinking. so i designed this game specifically to make sure that we won't have to move at all. >> you know, this could be good for kat. she needs to work out a little more. i'll sacrifice for her. >> the first thing i'm going to do as president, we're going to drink more. >> drink more? oh, my gosh. wheelbarrow. >> we even have our own mr. t.
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>> a cartwheel. i should stretch. >> if a fish swims in water, they actually don't know it's water. >> i can't even move my arms. i don't know. just flapping, like a fish. ow! >> donald trump said humble. he said the word humble. 17 push-ups. >> what? >> high five. >> more push-ups? >> you're so pretty! >> high energy, donald. >> i quit. i quit. >> you can't quit! you can't do this to me! these are the debates.
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these are serious. >> i learned nothing there. but up next, more of last week's debate with the debate league. they'll make me look really stupid. not that i need any help. play awesome party song. ♪ (phone ringing) what's up mikey? hey buddy i heard you're having a party. what? if i was having a party, i'd invite you. would you? yeah. (phone ringing) oh! i got another call. adam: i'm not having a party! hey chris what's up! you heard about adam's party man? it's going to be crazy. i knew it! (beep) find the closest party store... introducing app-connect. (google voice) here are your directions. michael: i'm gonna throw my own party. the things you love on your phone, available on 11 volkswagen models.
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yes, we've moved. now, since wednesday's debate, we've heard a pile of junk from the typical talking heads about who won, who lost and who should be killed. but no one asked the pros, until now. and because you asked for it, we brought back the experts, skilled at the complex art of debate to get their take on the most recent event. please welcome members of the new york city debate league. i want to go to you first, chase. because before we started, you said that ponies are better than unicorns. how can you say that? >> well, ponies sound much better. and on reality tv shows, a young man or woman, they say i want a
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unicorn. they say, no, i want a blue pony, and we're going to name that blue pony blue pony. >> interesting. did you tie your own bow tie? >> yes. if there's a contest tying your own tie, i tied my own tie. >> well done. sadie, who do you think won and why? >> i think between two people, chris christie and marco rubio. because mostly, the debate was sort of to make them fight each other. it was to juxtapose them. but really, what it came down to is who had a plan for the future, who the most out of what they were getting, and how they were going to do it. >> how do you think the debate was moderated? >> the debate was sort of moderated by people who wanted to more entertain america by making these candidates fight each other instead of giving them the presidential quality america is looking for. >> that's a good point. it reminds me, did you ever have a friend in high school or grade school, that gossiped about somebody else, so you would get
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mad. billy thinks you're fat? that's what jake tapper was always saying, you know he doesn't like you, about donald trump, and gets everybody mad. good point, by the way. what did you make of it? >> i thought carly fiorina was the best so far. because of the fact that she wasn't afraid to question donald trump. which i think she had a lot of guts because of that. >> mm-hmm. who do you think lost? >> i think there was a lot of hype about donald trump being so great. but i think he didn't do as well as expected by a lot of people. yeah. >> interesting. i'm skipping you, chase, because i already talked to you. all right, alexa. what did you think of carly, first of all? >> i think carly did an excellent job, because she knew really what she was talking about. she had a plan for every one of the questions. she she also talks about it's really for the voters to decide. and of course, everyone wants their opinion to be broadcasted
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and put out there. that's what a candidate is for. i think she did a good job. >> chase, when you looked at that field, and you're sitting next to me, do you think that i'm probably a better candidate than all of them? >> um, yes, of course. of course. you'll be the next top of our generation. he's a lot funnier. and his hair is actually real. unlike donald trump. >> i think donald's hair is real, it's just unusual. >> it might be that. >> that is very diplomatic of you. all right, sadie, what did you feel about the length of the debate? was it too long? people are complaining it was too long. >> well, for a debate that wasn't really a debate, more so sort of a verbal death match, it was more so pretty long with that. instead of like talking about actual issues. they sort of spent mostly an hour talking about each other, and sort of spent 15 minutes of
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the debate deciding who's most pro-life. i mean, come on. >> do you ever use any of your debate techniques on your teachers in order to get out of homework? >> not yet. but i have been planning to for times like this, when i have to prepare for debates and stuff like that. there are times i have to put off homework and focus on other things. and then do homework and focus on debates. >> do you have any tips for me? let's say i'm talking to somebody on a show who disagrees with me, it might be chase about ponies and unicorns. what kind of tips would you give me to win that debate? >> well, first of all, i would just like to say, unicorns shoot rainbows. how could you not like unicorns? >> they shoot rainbows? >> i love unicorns. i think what you should use for, like, debating actually, like
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against everyone, is that you should always bring up points that you know is true, and you know no other thing can do. >> very good point. last question to you, chase, because you -- president obama invited a kid with a clock to the white house. did that upset you? shouldn't you be invited? >> yes. but it's a respectful decision by the president. but charles, he's a very smart person. 14 years old, which is great. but why can't i go to the white house? >> yes. >> even though i can't make a homemade clock out of just wood. it's okay. i can still make a grilled cheese. >> that's fantastic. you know what, i would prefer a grilled cheese sandwich than a clock that looks kind of explosive. thank you, guys, and girls, you did a great job, as always. i'll see you after the next debate. it's for the democrats next time. coming up, how did donald
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country. it's called muslims. we know our current president is one. you know he's not even an american. >> we need this question -- >> but anyway, we have training camps growing where they want to kill us. that's my question. when can we get rid -- >> we've be looking at a lot of different things. >> that happened on thursday, after which trump canceled an engagement. am i morally obligated to defend this president every time? the question, was this a setup? do supporters even care? robert, was that anthony kumia? he had the same acting ability. how did trump handle it? >> like i said before, first of all, he turned to some like christopher walken in true romance. there's this guy. it was weird. but then, i don't think he heard
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him. he actually did that wife thing again. we're going to look into it. give me a few months. i think he handled it perfectly. he didn't hear what he said. this guy was definitely a plant. there's no way. human beings don't act that bad. >> kimberly, they still haven't found the guy. he's still unidentified. that means he's a plant. they found joe the plumber in ten seconds. >> of course. there you go. nobody wants to put -- they're trying to make trump mess up, right? and have him slip up. i don't know where it's coming from. if you would think it was somebody with a comedy plant, someone would come forward, lay claim to it. so maybe it's from another political camp, who knows. it seems so fake and artificial. the guy's delivery is like -- come on, we're not that stupid. where is the guy? identify yourself. >> exactly. gary, what did you make of his response, and is it trump's fault he didn't have something ready? >> i think trump's biggest problem is he has a history of talking about obama's birth
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certificate, and statements about immigrants, and people of different confessions. it was very natural. whether it was a plant, most likely, or, you know, someone goading him, just to ask this question. again, trump has the same answer. i'll deal with this later. >> the shirt that didn't fit, the sweat -- you can't get. that was cast. >> charles cook from national review, he said he was channeling an inner miss america by being purposefully nonsensical. do you agree? >> yes, i answer questions without answering questions all the time. but this really wasn't even a question. the man was just airing what he felt, how he felt about this country. if you watch the rest of that whole thing, a lot of people were asking questions. they were just airing their
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grievances. trump did the same thing to them as he did to this man. okay, great, on to the next one. we're making a very big to-do out of this. >> the funny thing is, the liberal panel -- >> it is a big to-do. >> i like big to-dos. this citizenship question started with hillary clinton. when she was running against obama. are you proud of that? >> it didn't start with hillary clinton. it started with supporters, it did not start with her or her campaign. that just is not true. say this is some kind of a plant, because right-wingers can't take responsibility for the fact that there are people like that who are supporting trump. that's his base. nativist, white, anti-muslim, islamphobic. >> look at your base. wall streeters, people who want to kill cops. >> that's ridiculous. >> i just did what you did.
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i echoed you. i did a corollary to your attack. >> a corollary to my attack? >> exactly. i'm not sure what corollary means. but i think i used it correctly. >> nobody wants to kill cops. liberals don't want to kill cops. those are extreme wackos on both sides. that's who trump's appealing to, dog whistling to the white, angry, anti-muslim, anti-everything but old white guy base. that's who donald trump is appealing to. >> i think you're attacking me now, sir. another question. do you think donald trump felt uncomfortable answering that question? >> yes. i can't see inside of his head, thank god, but probably. because he's a few times asked similar questions about whether obama was born in the u.s. let's see, april 10th, 2011, on cnn, and on abc's "good morning america," and march 23rd, 2011, on "the view," and on "fox &
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friends," march 3rd, august 11th, 2013, on abc's this week. in july 26th, this year, i could go on and on. but i have somewhere to be in two hours. >> that's good. because frankly i was getting bored by all those -- >> well, you know what? i was, too. hopefully people will get bored with trump eventually. >> we've got to go. still to come. here i am. a surprise guest. i love surprises. but first a word from our sponsors. >> tonight's show is sponsored by goalies, the defensive players on a team who prevent the opposing players from scoring. thanks, goalies.
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jenuflex? the recent interview, why it's important to accommodate pc-minded co-eds. roll it. >> everyone's going to be offended by something, so you can't just decide on your material based on not offending anyone. but i do think it's important as a comedian, as a human to change with the times. to change with new information. you have to listen to the college aged, because they lead the revolution. they're pretty much always on the right side of history. >> absolutely. meanwhile, president obama, if that's his real name, donald, said censureship on campus is poppycock. >> i don't agree that you, when you become students at colleges, have to be coddled and protected from different points of view.
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you shouldn't silence them by saying you can't come because, you know, my -- i'm too sensitive. >> silverman is no stranger to the pc comedy debate. a long time ago she got in trouble for using a derogatory term for asian people. she refused to apologize and an activist confronted her about it on the bill maher show. >> that attitude -- >> i'm not talking about all asian-americans. >> this word, the hatred behind that word [ bleep ] -- >> tell me, there are only two asian people i know that i don't like. one is you. and the other is -- [ applause ] >> i'm hurt. >> and somebody who went pc. >> that's the strangest, angriest debate ever. robert, okay, you're friends with sarah. >> i love her. >> disappointed, or are you --
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do you understand this? >> of course i understand it. first of all, look, you're being interviewed on the spot about a movie. and someone asks you about that. i mean, i love sarah. she's funny. she's a comedian. i don't agree that we should be censured. i don't agree that college students know it all. she said two things. she said they know what we should be doing in the future, and they're dummies holding up cell phones at shows. i think she was -- i mean, we do evolve, though. >> no, we don't. >> we do. if you look back 20 years ago, damon wayans was playing a mentally retarded guy. we were all laughing. you can't do that today. we evolved. you know, i mean, we have a black president, maybe a woman president. we have the guy on the wheaties box is a woman. we changed. >> i would argue, you don't do that at a work conference where you hire a comedian as
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entertainment. on a college campus, aren't kids supposed to love all that inappropriate stuff? >> that's when kids are taste testing who they're going to be. what their opinion really is. when they first start college, they could think this way, and by the end of it -- then when you go to the real world, that changes, too. it kind of solidifies. >> you know what, the real world really is the cold water in their face. because they're not prepared to get their feelings hurt. >> they need to get them hurt immediately. including all the professors. i think she's going to go on tour on college campuses. it seems a little pandering to them like, hey, i'm with you. it was a little bit like, smo h smoochy smooth. you decide now. if we only listen to you, we'll be on the right course. >> do you have this problem? russia? is there any politically correct movement there in russia? dothe young people that come alg
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and correct old people belief. like an inversion of with age comes wisdom. it's now with age comes racism. we have to somehow fix that. cameraman, over here. we've got other stuff to do. coming up, one of my family members was at the debate. we'll talk to him about it. because i didn't go. not uncle carl, he died, sorry. aunt jane. i wish he wouldn't bring it up.
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since the debate was 8,000 miles away and i didn't feel like flying there, i sent someone in my place. it was my nephew, garrett. joining us from san diego, my nephew garrett rosario. garrett, you took some pictures. i'm going to show some pictures. how are you doing, by the way? >> i'm doing great, how are you? >> i'm doing great, thanks for asking. >> i'm sure you are. >> no need to be sarcastic. it looks like you had pretty good seats, right? >> yes, i did. >> how long were you seated there? >> i was there seated from 2:00 to 8:00. about six hours of sitting. they did not let -- they let you go to the bathroom, but the commercial breaks were only two
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minutes long. you can't go to the bathroom and get back in two minutes. >> you held it in? >> i have a very small bladder. it doesn't work out well. >> did you have a bottle next to you? >> i should have. but no. >> were you sitting next to anybody famous? did you meet anybody? >> yes. i met hugh hewitt's wife, betsy hewitt. sitting right next to me. >> did you tell her you were related to me? >> yes. but she wasn't that impressed. she was like, okay, cool, and moved on. >> let's move on. to the second picture. so this is the menu. this is pretty interesting. did you eat while you were there? >> i did eat.
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>> i was bored on my phone, so i went on tinder. i got matched up with this guy. and i thought it was a guy looking straight at me. >> rale i? >> so i was trying to take a picture. matching up the picture of him and the picture on tinder. pretty much the reason i sent that to you is because you didn't like my picture on instagram. so i just sent it to you. >> that's nice of you. had nothing to do with the debate. nothing to do with the debate.
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do we have another picture? what's this? >> i have no idea. >> you have no idea? >> that came with your picture. >> yes, i -- >> it's actually from work. i accidentally sent it to you. it was actually -- i worked at the campus tour office in san diego and that was our uniform. >> wow. all right, garrett, well done. we'll probably be seeing you in a few weeks. when i have a meeting with you and your parents and we discuss your future. awesome. up next, greg mail. in just a few weeks, how to be right. that's the title of my new book. it's available october 27th. order it, buy it, order it again and between and again and again. i'll be out on tour to support this fantastic masterpiece. the tour starts october 28 in huntington, new york. here's a look at some of the places i'll be. go to my website. h
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it still doesn't feel real. our time together was... so short. well, since you had progressive's total loss coverage, we were able to replace your totaled bike with a brand-new one. the tank...the exhaust... well, she looks just like roxie! you know, i'll bet she's in a better place now. flo: i know she is. i feel it in my heart. [ heavenly choir sings ]
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actually, the old roxie's over at the junkyard. flo: kkh-kkh! getting you back on a brand-new bike. now, that's progressive. reporter: uh, is that likeonize car cars.com?nd repair. they actually have a feature called service & repair. no, because with ours you'll know the cost of labor and parts in your area, anyone else? reporter: like, like cars.com? so you'll never pay more than you should. reporter: like, cars.com? excuse me one second. she's totally right. i messed up, i'm sorry. cancel the ipo.
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withof my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis... ordinary objects often seemed... intimidating. doing something simple... meant enduring a lot of pain. if ra is changing your view of everyday things orencia may help. orencia works differently by targeting a source of ra early in the inflammation process. for many, orencia provides long-term relief of ra symptoms. it's helped new ra patients and those not helped enough by other treatments. do not take orencia with another biologic medicine for ra due to an increased risk of serious infection. serious side effects can occur including fatal infections. cases of lymphoma and lung cancer have been reported. tell your doctor if you're prone to or have any infection like an open sore, the flu, or a history of copd, a chronic lung disease. orencia may worsen your copd. if you're not getting the relief you need...
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ask your doctor about orencia. orencia. see your ra in a different way. ♪ >> it's time for greg mail. the address is gregmai gregmail @foxnews.com. i read, he answers, then we go do '90s r&b themed karaoke. rebecca wonders if you had a theme song, what would be it? >> ooh, that's a neat question. i think it would be this one -- ♪ thank you for being a friend >> nice. or maybe, maybe this one -- ♪ you take the good ♪ you take the bad ♪ ♪ you take them both ♪ and there you have the facts of life ♪ >> or perhaps this one -- ♪ ♪ i am
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i am ♪ >> i don't like that one. >> what was it? >> okay, terrifying. next one, robb with two bs asked, is there any advice you could offer lonely men like me? >> you got to lose the second "b," it's pretentious. i don't have two gs at the end of greg. there are two gs in it. other than that, you got to be yourself. if that doesn't work, murder a better-looking person and wear their skin as a costume. you notice that says i've become more successful, you have not seen mel gibson. >> that's very true. >> you do look like a smaller mel gibson. >> moving on. a viewer writes, i tend to start crushing on every guy i meet and you haven't been spared from my mind. it's really annoying now, especially since i have a boyfriend and can't figure out how to stop this. any advice? >> this happens a lot. my advice is to give in to your desires. head to new york city.
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i'll meet you at port authority. be sure to bring enough clothes for the weekend but don't purchase a round trip ticket because you won't need it. >> port authority? >> that's where it all starts. >> terrifying. >> for some people, that's where it ends. all right. is that it? we're done. gary, thank you. kimber kimberly, robin kelly, a champ. catherine. the new york city urban debate league. my nephew garrett. the liberal panel, tonight on "red eye" a rand paul aid and a marco rubio staffer in an allout brawl. reagan's 11th commandment didn't say anything about fist to cuff. and why he relates to the character in "citizen cane." and firing waitresses who gain weight. don't worry, patrons. the buffet is open for you.
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