thank you for being with us tonight. see you tomorrow night right here at 7:00 p.m. eastern. go to my facebook page and like it. there is a lot going on on the pain page and of course go to gretawire. tonight on "red eye", china has its own obama impersonator. sign tieses directed a study to find the most feel good song of all time. the criteria? what songs made scientists feel good about their caw ruers? and don't touch that dial because he hillary moatly change it back. mike baker is on the show. our panel provides hope, but first a fuse break. but first, a news break. >> live from america's news headquarters, i'm will carr. another busy day is in store for pope francis on thursday. all e capitol hill as the pontif addresses congress. no one knows exactly what he

will talk about, but he has addressed the environment, cuba and immigration. >> as the son of an immigrant family, i am happy to be a guest this this country which was largely built by such families. >> [applause]. >> later in the day he will travel to new york city. a federal court rejecting the latest appeal from the kentucky court clerk twho doesn't want to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. kim davis wants to be allowed to retuesday to issue the licenses. she spent five days in jail for con cement of -- contempt of court. the ceo of volkswagen is stepping down. he bears responsibility for the scandal, but says he personally did nothing wrong. it wiped out billions in the value. owners are voicing their frustration.

they say they bought their cars for clean emissions and high gas mileage and now can't sell them. the death toll from two of california's most destructive fires. a body was found in the home in lake county. the fires have destroyed thousands of homes. the suspect in the phoenix freeway shooting has been for -- formally charged. ballistics tests tied him to four of the 11 shootings. no one was seriously hurt in the attacks that started in late august. i'm will carr, now let's get you back to "red eye." >> welcome to "red eye it is. i am tom shillue. andy levy is off tonight and this is where we usually go to

the -- >> and i looked at him and i said shut the [bleep] up. that's not my camel. >> mike, are you on the air. >> oh, hello, tom. >> you cut in again. >> we are on. >> i just said andy is not here and mikebacker would fill in and we would introduce you at the top of the show. >> we were a little behind here. get that sorted out. we are a little behind, but happy to be here and thank you for the opportunity. >> wonderful. we will be coming back to you. pay uh tngs. >> you want me to stick around? >> stick around of. >> check the signal. let's welcome our guests. she knows tai chi and drinks chi tea. ease square named him one of the best of 2012 and one of the aging comedians of 2015. he co-hosts the pod cast on

tuesday with stories. high he is a better journalist , but only because the process would kill them. senior editor at the daily caller, jaime weinstein. and he has a part-time job working the grounds at hogwarts. giant comedian ben kissel. let's start the shouldy. let's start the show. can we put this to rest? president obama is absolutely not a muslim. new video has surfaced proving definitively tay he is actually chinese. >> hello, everybody. [inaudible]. >> that really wasn't obama. but that was an impersonator who despite clearly being chinese and not able to speak english is a current rippinger

for the president. he has all of obama's moves down pat. there is the hey there, good to see you. the adjusting my golf swing based on the wind. the i'm crushing your head. the now you waited -- just a minute, mister. and of course the someone just littered on the highway. the 2 teen-year-old turned his likeness of obama into a movie career. he is serving as a gangster named black prince charming in an upcoming crime movie. gangster? more like dopple gangster. that obama resemblance is great, isn't it? >> there is no resemblance between him and obama at all. there is an i'd logical resemblance. we don't know because we didn't hear the politics. may i recommend him being in charge of china? that would solve the china problem because like president obama did here he will take them down the drain.

>> he is in china and well known so the press lets him make a name for himself so it means he is a raging comme, right? >> it was not his looks to obama so maybe it is his resemblance to mou. >> this impress ition -- this impressionist uses real english and jibberish. isn't that racist? >> all of it is a little racist, but i love it. i can't even read the menu at a taco bell. i mess up everything. it is interesting that what they didn't get to is him painting on his eyebrows and it reminded me of the beginning of the great joan rivers documentary called "piece of work" where she gets her face done and goes from a monster to a beautiful piece of work. >> that's right. i didn't see where he was putting on the eyebrows.

obama doesn't have prominent owe brows, but does he? >> he over did it a little bit. the bigger issues is jobs, right? when obama vetoed the keystone pipeline thousands of jobs were lost. gay marriage is allowed by the supreme court and so this is another example of the government out sourcing jobs and in this situation it was the entertainment industry. >> wow, you pulled that altogether. joanne, which obama do you prefer? >> i think i pre for the real one because this obviously shows china likes our obama. he is a great guy. it shows that he doesn't like to follow the law and he is looking out for himself. those are characteristics and that will bring us together. >> amazing. it could be diplomacy in

action. mark, aren't you upset they are stealing the thunder from the real comedians? >> i want to say about the eyebrow painting, we know asians are hairless. it had to be done. >> i think he had some eyebrows under there. >> no. >> that's a whole new racial stereo type. >> i have a few living in my home. a whole family in my storage unit. i thought it was a great ringer for tiger woods as well. that could be in there. we have to trademark obama so every time this wierdo does an impersonation and makes another black prince charming take a little money off the debt. >> it is american intellectual property. >> exactly. >> if they call him black prince charming they need to gef ty digs some money.

>> he follows me on twitter. jaime, does he follow you? >> i don't know who he is. >> he is following you on twitter. >> the one industry that does not have to worry about china taking over is hollywood. if this is a blockbuster movie and he is a star hollywood is safe for some time. >> they needed a new fight cor choreographer. if you look at the fight it is not that good. >> you need to get your groove back. >> my cul -- cultural iq needs to go up. >> a group of students wants to punish the newspaper that is critical of the "black lives matter" movement. they call for the artist to be de funded unless certain conditions are met. they want newspaper staff members to under go diversity training and marge fall liesed group/voices. the group is throwing out copies of the print paper.

print is the young people's preferred way to get their news. one person said shocking things like it boils down to this for me. is villa pho location -- villification part of the black lives matters message? many americans feel the same. i should repeat i do support the efforts by the more moderate activists. >> burn. >> such hate speech. how do they get it into print? >> it is so mild that it is unbelievable. >> i was on campus 10 years ago. people don't debate anymore. they don't argue. they shout people down. they burn faps -- papers. now they shot down a favorite conservative professor. he went to a top notch

university to give a lecture and shouted down. all people scream is white privilege and it will seep into mainstream society. we will just have people accusing people of racism. >> you have white privileged people screaming white privilege at other white prefl -- privileged people. >> i got in trouble the other day because i said black guy. somebody said it is african-american and he said "black lives matter" and i said i thought it was african-american and he said it doesn't matter. >> it is all collapsing. i want these people to start a paper so we can say, hey, you are offending me. now your paper is going to go. >> thisy have it. it is called the "new york times." >> i have never heard of that. >> shouldn't the editor of the

paper known what he was getting into or maybe he did. >> the editor of the paper said this is not necessarily what we believe. this is an op-ad. op-ed. i think a berry spawns -- a better response is we are going to write our own op-ed piece. when i was in college which was only five years ago people would do on their tumblers and on their blog. that's how people express themselves. encourage pome to write something else. >> more speech is better, right? >> go. go with your comment. i was going to ask a question, but you seemed out of the dwait. >> first of all they sound white and all of these people are hipocritical. if they want to go around black people go to howard. everybody knows that. there is also a white person

misconception. they talk about how there wasn't a lot of diversity and they blame the newspaper when in reality black people are much cooler than white people and maybe they don't want to parts knit in your corny newspaper. it is the same thing in new york city. they are talking about the lack of diversity with an improve. the white people are like, what are we going to do? black people don't president what to participate in your cor knee comma -- corny comma de. but white people are so blind and rasist to realize that what they do is not that cool to do. i think you on offended white people. they may come down on you for this. >> they all agree. >> speaking of which, they demanded marginal liesed voices to be featured in the paper. well who is a marginal liesed

voice? >> the nest post should say kill whitey and everybody will be happy. >> if you are on the wesleyan campus there are few marginal people. it is $50,000 a year and i don't think this is the oppressed of the world coming into wesleyan. >> get the janitor. >> the guy who wrote this article is eating his lunch alone. >> and with the whitey bulger trial you may get the headline. a kentucky man who left his wife and daughter after embezzling $9 million from his employer was caught and arrested on the appalachian trail after being recognized from a crime show. he is seen here trying out his uni-bomber halloween costumes and went by the name of "bismark" hiding out on the trail. the former accountant was a familiar face in the woods and appeared in selfies with other hikers. in one pick he is even

engaging in a water gun fight. swot. i bet he will be a good dad. he was a little more social than the typical hiker. joanne, i don't know if you are outdoorsie. >> doesn't everyone when you are camping, all fellow hikers look like mass murderers, do they not? >> we had toilets so it was not like real camping. he was staying at a bed and breakfast. prison may be nicer than just running for your life and hiding between foliage. to embezzle 8.7 million i do not believe you can do on your own. there is probably an accomplice hiding in the grand canyon. >> you're right. it is hard to do that by yourself. 12k3 you're right, staying in

a b and b is not real camping. i don't think this guy is even a real hiker. >> he looks like he came from burning ham. the whole point to get rich is drink champagne and live in a big house and have a bunch of cars. he is in a b and b and eating breakfast with an old guy every day and sleeping on a dead old lady's bed. >> that's the way it happens. you mentioned whitey bulger. what was he saying? he was in santa monica and lived like us. >> we didn't have the fear of not going to prison. i look at my smartphone and say it every day. it is better than being in prison. with this b and b experience pre prison prep his bed will be solid on day one. he will have that mattress padded down and the blankets tight over the pillow. >> and he knows how to

function with little. jaime, how many criminals have these crime shows caught? they are pretty good, right? >> they saved us from criminals roaming the streets. welcome to owe bough ma you's -- obama's america where you can get off scott free. this guy did it. in the bush era he would be still in new york. he is from ohio and it is boring there so i will give him a pass on the $8.7 million. >> are you saying bore dom is an excuse for embezzling $8 million? >> are you saying it is not? >> maybe it is. >> you just wanted to see if you could. >> i am not sure i am clear. was it really a slam air obama's america. it was a joke that -- >> i think people were laughing across america. coming up, we go back to school common core style.

have your advil ready. oh, look. we have a bunch of...

announcer: babies who are talked to from the time they're born are more likely to have a successful future. talking and reading to children in their first years has a huge impact on what they do with the rest of their lives.

the fewer words they hear, the greater their chances of dropping out of school and getting into trouble. talk. read. sing. your words have the power to shape their world. learn more at first5california.com/parents with his kids' common core math and up loaded this picture to facebook. it is a check written to his kid's school, but using strange common core symbols. needless to say the check could not be cashed, but the picture went viral. why? millions of parents hate common core. they think it makes math unnecessarily complicated. i will explain common core and then tell you why it is so bad. here is a typical common core approach to a simple math problem. 8 plus 5 equals -- they are encouraged to get to 10. how do you make the 8 to friendly 10?

add two. so now you have to have 8 plus two plus three. now that's friendly 10 plus 3 equals 13. yay! some of you think that is a crazy way to do a crazy math problem. but to me it makes sense. common core is made for people like me, people who struggled with math. i used to make up my common core-type tricks to make it easier. these tricks are not a bad idea. it is bad to teach them. you need kids to come up with their own tricks or they are not really tricks. they are just a lot of extra work. just like the trophy for every kid philosophy, today's education is about slowing down and focusing on the kids who are struggling instead of forcing them to catch up and it is making everyone weaker. jaime, i don't know if it made sense until now, but it makes sense. >> it actually does make sense. i am against common core, actually. what you were saying makes

sense on if states want to do it on the local level. it looks stupid when you do low numbers like that. 8 plus 5 everyone knows is 13. you don't have to do that to get there. >> i needed that. >> if you are doing the numbers in your head without a calculator that's what you do. you get to 900. they are trying to teach on you a small level what to do on a larger level when you get more complex numbers it kind of makes sense. >> ben you disagree. >> it was one of the worst things that happened and it never should have occurred. the irony of a government that is $19 trillion in debt attempting to give math advice to students is so unbelievably hipocritical it would be like if chris brown did relationship training. it would not work. the federal government really messed with an entire generation of children and hopefully it can be off the books soon. >> it seemed like you were shaking your head.

the thing is, the reason common core came was people like bill gates said we need students to be better at math and sciences. did they just have the wrong idea? >> of course we want our students to get better at math and science, but it is a one-way approach. like you said, you needed a different way to solve the problems. but what about the other kids who that way doesn't work for? especially people with learning disabilities? >> i had learning disabilities and that's what it is for i think. >> that's what i'm saying. someone may have another disability where this doesn't make sense to them. i think there should be multiple ways to answer a problem. we should be teaching all of them to our kids. as for the dad who wrote the check, okay, funny, on facebook, but go to some pta meetings or doing something or trying to understand it and help your kid out. right now he or she is stuck with it. how will you help your kid? >> joanne slamming social media guy.

>> unless he is watching and then thank you for watching. >> she watching and i thank him for watching. he said he is social media exhausted because he is dealing with the praise and the slams which happens when you get out there. >> i greaty with you. i can't compute numbers. >> did you make up the disease? >> i did. but i agree that chris brown is a horrible person in a relationship. you do have to make up your own tricks. my friend would roll on the way fast and then hit the brakes. i don't need to do that. he does. that's the same with common core. sometimes you need to do tricks, but it is bad news. it max them into [bleep] artists. 8 plus 9 is 10. what? hold on, let me tell you why. >> you joke but on the common core tests when you write the answerer they don't grade the answer. they grade the description.

>> show work. >> that's how you -- when you do calculus they grade your process of getting there. when you get to higher math the answer is important, but the process of how you got there. >> can you imagine having a job as a cashier and trying to make change for someone and you have to do it quickly. there are a lot of people in line and you say 10 minus 4 -- it doesn't make sense. >> they teach those tricks. when you get a job as a cashier they have you count backwards. >> they just want their pretzel. >> i just think they should have a book that is common core and it should be optional. artists and dummies and people who can't grasp these concepts, there is a special way for you. >> i totally agree with that. we did foster care and started to take in foster brothers and sisters. i was 12 years old and everyone learns differently especially myself. the only way i was able to graduate high school is i helped out the wal-mart teacher of the year.

i took her singer sewing machine in the trunk of her car and she gave me a c. >> i would cheat off the hairless kid. he had no eyebrows. >> god bless you. coming up, no tv's andy levy. we have satellite feed's mike baker.

live from america's news headquarters, i'm will carr. another busy day for pope francis. the upon till is said to go to capitol hill for what will be the first papal address to congress. but the vip visit may not go over well with some lawmakers. that's because the holy father is expected to raise some issues that put republicans and democrats at odds over the years such as climate change and immigration. >> building a society which is inclusive and the rights of individuals and communities and rejecting every form of injustice and discrimination. >> this afternoon francis departs dc for the next leg of

the american tour, new york city. the. the senate is set to vote on a measurement that will keep the government running through december 11th. it also aims to de fund planned parenthood. they say their measure is expected to fail at the hands of filibustering democrats. it shows the discussing of fetal material. word out of yemen of a deadly bombing in a crowded mosque in the capitol city. 29 people are reported dead. the toll could climb because of many injury that are severe. the attack happened at a prayer service marking one of islam's holiest holiday. i'm will carr. now back to the show you love "red eye."

>> welcome back. andy levy is off tonight and it is time for -- >> hello, this is mike baker. >> mike? >> hey! this is not where i normally drink my coffee. >> i do my coffee here too. >> good. let's take it away, shall we? let a go to the report card first. we need to look at accuracy. who got what right and who got what wrong. joanne has zoomed into the lead. it is thanks to her last-minute remarks on common core she is in the lead. mark -- see how i am pointing,

mark here is in second despite his comment that allations are hairless -- that all asians are hairless. >> for one of the few times that ben is not -- well let's compare this to a wide shot of the table if we could. go to a wide shot of the table and we'll see what em talking about. normally the grab will look different. i am confident ben will pick up his game. if you are curious what that looks like as a pie chart -- >> i was. >> then there you go. it tells you something about what we said previously. >> what is in that coffee, mike? >> exactly. looking at a pie survey this is interesting. the baked goods research center did a survey about america's favorite pie and apple is in the lead followed

by cherry and then key lime. pican came in fourth. now it is time to play america's fastest growing dwaim. how big is ben? first question is ben bigger than a long-haired rabbit. anybody? >> yes. >> of course he is. it gets more difficult as we go along. is ben bigger than a jackass? >> trick question. too easy. >> the answer of course is no. he is bigger than a jackass. going on, is ben bigger than putin? >> no. >> oh yes. the answer is ben is bigger than putin cuddling a puppy. and our last question and this is where it gets tough.

is ben bigger than the pope? >> hat or no hat. >> you see that is an interesting question. with the hat he is not bigger than the pope which leads us to our next segment which we don't do often. what can you hide under the pope's hat? >> with the pope arriving in the u.s. and of course it was all pope coverage, but what can you use the pope's arrival to hide? well, under the pope you can hide hillary's announcement that she is against the keystone pipeline. you can hide the white house announcement that they are reeceing bin laden's bodyguard and a high -- hijacker from gitmo. you can hide the mainstream media's announcement that they are finding work-related e-mails on hillary's private server. and if we check back under

that hat this 10 years we will find a ballistic missal. >> that's what i think. >> that's if we go back to ben bigger than a rabbit and bigger than a jackass. not as big as the pope. the key thing here is to look atavy line. it is on the upward trend. right now it looks good. boise's saturday forecast saturday and sunday looks sweet which is good. i am hoping to get fishing in. i am feeling good about that. >> thank you very much. >> it is a dry heat too. >> i am disappearing down a big rob bit hole dug by the epa. i just wanted to poi nth this out. i just wanted to point this out. talking about global climate change, may i point out that she is the epa administrator.

she traveled to the vatican where she met with a bunch of churchy guys and then she came back to the u.s. and she also met with the u.s. church leaders then the pope came here and he went to the south lawn of the white house and i'll be damned, he talked about climate change. all i have to say is well played white house. today's security, can't go wrong. it is pretty straight forward. commenting on the stories, i know the control room is wondering if i will get to that. appalachian trail. love that story. everything that could be said about the perpetrator has been said. i have fast facts. first of all the trail is really long. second of all, it has lots of trees.

>> maple. >> and the last one there are bears and stuff on the appalachian trail. that's my comment. we now go to the common core. the previous math question under the old way of teaching math would be if -- if your question is why 3y minus one -- the common core of asking is what are two different equations with the same solution as 3y minus 1 equals 8. that's the new way of teaching this in high school for your kids. it leads to the question of really at the end of the day do i care? this graph shows that for the most part, no, i don't give a rat's ass about this president president -- about this. because i have three kids who will suffer under common core i do give a little rat's ass, but overall not so much. if i may just add this, rest in peace one of the greatest

yankees ever, yogi berra who reportedly said make sure you go always to other people's tune rails otherwise they may to the come to yours. that's it for me, tom. i'm pretty much done. i hope that was helpful. >> it really was. i didn't know about the bin laden driver. that was one thing that i guess is not making the news. >> i think -- actually i think they were so busy hiding other crap under the pope's hat that they probably shoved that one under his few nick. tunic. that's true. they are releasing bin laden's bodyguard. they will send him to saudi arabia where he will go to a re-education program. >> they are good at that. thank you, mike. >> thank you, tom. time to take a break. feel good songs when we come back. >> hi, "red eye" fans. on the next "kennedy," it is

game i'm addition. hope to see you on the fox business network.

what is the most feel good coping of -- song of all time? surprisingly it is not "i feel good" by james brown. the most commonly cited upbeat anthem is "don't stop me now" by queen. interesting. not even one of their biggest ones in my

book. other top mentions #r abba's "dancing queen" and billy joel's" uptown girl." they say feel good songs follow a formula, fast tempo and major key plus happy lyrics. in fact, this farm law can make a sad song feel good. >> ♪ sing for me, sing for my laughter, sing for my tears. ♪ sing for me just for today ♪ ♪ maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away ♪ >> yeah. great, right? >> classic. >> or it can make a happy song feel sad. >> ♪ clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪ >> because i'm happy ♪ clap along if you feel

like happiness is the truth ♪ >> it doesn't work in the minor key. >> this is the common core way of understanding music, understanding the complicated form to decide what is upbeat and what is not upbeat. it is obviously "don't stop believing" by journey. >> i wish we used -- jo knee has a great sh ad sh when you convert it to a minor key it is weird. it takes the believing out of the song. what are your feel good songs? >> i love tuesdays gone from leonard skynard. it sends to be the artist's most lovable song they hate the most. billy joel hates "uptown girl" and never wants to hear it again. the one thing that makes you tame muss tends to be what everybody hates the most.

hates the idea he was in a sitcom and he is always fighting with the paparazzi. the audience loves these songs and you are formenting the artist. >> i don't know about the queen song, but "bohemian cap saudi" saudi" -- rhapsody" is what gets me out of bed in the morning. >> it is head banging, you know? >> i like -- ♪ put the lime in the coconut ♪ >> that's right. try not to do a conga line when that comes on. >> i think the happy lyrics have a lot to do with it. "walking on sunshine" and that still perks me up when i hear it in a taxicab. >> imagine if you really did? >> that's right. >> some of these songs should come with a warning. >> it is an exercise in

frustration. >> joanne, what songs are on your list? >> you know what, like the old ones that i listened to in middle school and high school like j-lo on the 6. her first album she has a song "feeling so good" and john mayer, three by five. because of that they also said in this study or survey that it is not just this formula, but it is where you were and you have a tie to the music if you are gnaw stole jibing it will make you feel good. >> like "me so horny" by 2 live crew. >> i think we should throw in "monster mash." you can sing along with it. here is the thing. you mentioned common core. obviously if there were a formula somebody would have taken advantage of that.

>> there is like a songwriter in l.a. and he is a hit machine and sell itself to one of the top stars. paul mccartney was blessed. he never stopped writing songs. >> all moo sick is just mathematical formulations. all they do is put anybody kills on a -- put niples on a come piewter. you compute the words and these are buzz words and you punch it into a machine and it churns out "wrecking ball". >> leave her alone. we will close things out with a bedtime story. >> funk indeed.

coming up tomorrow on the next "red eye" paul and joe devito and matt welch. >> a 78-year-old grandpa was punched in the face at costco after confronting a man after

taking too many nutella samples. yes, it is another case of nutella-related violence. he was shopping at the bulk store in burbank, california and stopped at a free nutella cart. when he reached for one another man swooped in and grabbed all of the samples. the younger man started to pufn him in the face and he was hospitalized with a cut and swelling. garabigi is facing elder abuse and up to 11 years in state prison. jaime, have you had any -- i know you probably pushed someone out of the way, but would you punch? >> i don't think so and i think that's why we need donald trump to be president. we need to make america great again. i hope the pope's tour does not include a trip to costco because that be would a bad pr move. >> ben, i love big box stores,

but do you of go to costco and pretend you are not a giant? >> i thought they were buying for dinner. we can all agree. it is fair to say the other gentleman was hazelnuts. >> i had it written down. >> you want it? >> no, you take it. you need it. i saw your bar. >> you have to bring it back up there. mark, you can't do hazelnuts. >> you can have it? >> you take it. damn it. >> you have gone in to -- gotten into fights at stores, but not forth utella. >> no, because i keep it in my furs. maybe this young guy, 24 years old. some people go to costco to eat. that's their lunch m i do believe with the samples if you will take more than one you have to at least leave one

there. you can't be the last person to take. i have an angle, do you take the samples on the road? do you take the free shampoos? >> yes. my pockets are lined and covered in ocean. i think it is all a ruse. we have all been privy to a few freebies and there is always a weird, awkward moment when you take home the sal samples and you say now shoot they want me to buy this crap. i had $13 and now i have to buy a bach. maybe this is a diversion to get out of buying it? >> i feel that way at the liquor store when they lt you try some of the -- let you try some of the wine. i don't want to buy anything. >> we are focusing on the wrong thing. it seems like we are focused on him taking too many samples and not the

punching in the face. >> i it looks like he may go to jail and it could be elder abuse. special thanks to joanne know saw common ski and meek baker. that does it for me. i'm tom shillue.

>> breaking tonight, brand new 2016. fox news polling showing little change for front runner donald trump. dr. ben carson, carlie fiorina start moving up. welcome to the kelly file, everyone. i'm megyn kelly. take a look at what is happening on the other hand with dr. ben carson, carlie fiorina and senator rubio. bold moves have led to significant gains. we also have dramatic new