i'm greg gutfeld with more dragon fruit. democratic candidates spar over who hates the rich the most. the clear winners, people who watch the mets instead. donald trump is going to host snel "snl." and what's the over/under on number of hair jokes? is the center folding? do you like that? no more nude pictures in playboy. who should be the last model? edie mcclurg, your nation needs you. let's get started. my drifter is defrosting. >> he's exceeding his authority. he's a bad man, et cetera. >> he runs around with all kinds of punks. >> they're portraying him as a

self-pitying, self-involved, pa th pathetic person. >> i think it makes him look pathetic and he should just man up. >> well, you can say it started out on a high note. ♪ and the rockets red glare ♪ the bombs bursting in air >> then it was all downhill. it was a coming out party for socialism. there was little disagreement and promises galore of stuff we can't pay for. >> stand up to the billionaire class. >> rein in the excesses of capitalism. >> donald trump and his billionaire friends under my policies will pay a hell of a lot more taxes. >> to protect the main street economy. >> make every public college in this country tuition free. >> expanding health care and

including undocumented children and others. >> the amazing thing about leftists they can't even connect one dot. they say spend trillions on stuff and never ponder what might happen next. they say get rid of coal and never ponder what might happen next. they say end fracking but never ponder what might happen next. like i said, they can't connect one dot. venezuela, a socialist country, has no toilet paper. that's a connected dot, a smelly one, too. but in this socialism seminar, we saw sanders and hillary cut a deal. hills win, b.s. gets a job. socialism is cool for one reason, most young people weren't born when socialism failed the world and professors refuse to teach that truth. the result a chosen amnesia about a belief that leads to misery. sanders shouldn't be running for office. he should be teaching drivers ed. but now hillary tries to out left him sacrificing principles for power.

they mock what made america great while ignoring what kept america safe. two of america's strengths, capitalism and national defense, got hit harder than my liver last night. oddly, we've beaten so many bad guys yet as victors we adopt the loser's belief. and when asked about evil, they offered only american stuff. >> franklin delano roosevelt said judge me by the enemies i have made. which enemy are you the most proud of? >> i guess the cole lobby. >> the national rifle association. >> the health insurance companies, the drug companies. >> i would lump wall street and the pharmaceutical industry at the top of my list. >> well, perhaps they can't find evil around the world because they like it at home. the only exception jim webb who identified evil as something not american.

>> i'd have to say the enemy soldier that threw the grenade that wounded me but he's not around right now to talk to. >> he joked about killing someone. it's amazing. he's humble, he's reserved, he's brave, he's got no chance. and that wasn't even the most upsetting part in all of this. that came later in what i'm calling -- the oldest clip from the view. >> american people are sick and tired of hearing about your damn e-mails. >> thank you. me, too. >> i thought that bernie was so -- i am aroused by him. >> let's welcome tonight's guest. he can drink under the table then drink the table under the table. it's meghan mccain, fox news contributor and host of "america now radio" s.

it's ebony kay williams, legal analyst. he's funnier than a whoopee cushion made of joy buzzers, it's comedian joe mackey. she's not homeless, just in between homes. it's joanne. and if facts were sticks, she'd be sticky. op-ed katherine temper. and finally he's made of wood and nothing else good. it's the liberal panel. i'm going to go to you first, joe. you're a pretty sensible guy. you're often terrified of many things. what scared you most about that debate? >> well, i think it's when bernie sanders said that he would address russia and syria by saying that russia would regret it. that's it. >> that's it? >> they would just regret it. that's very comforting. that they're going to be sorry they did that. we're not going to do that but decades later, oh, man, watch out. >> all right, megan. i want to ask you, i have a theory. i have a theory about war

heroes. they don't do well in debates because they find the rhetoric of politics to be beneath them. i felt i saw that in jim webb. it's like he was so out of place. it was like abraham lincoln among a basket of lemurs. >> i have been very drunk with my brothers and even at their drunkest they will not tell me if they killed anyone. my brother who was deployed three times from afghanistan. it was bizarre. >> people knew about this already. they already knew about the situation. >> but my father doesn't like to talk about being tortured all the time. i felt the whole thing was such a show, i can't swear on your show, i'd like to. >> swear ahead. >> it was a ridiculous debate. i was so bored. there's not enough wine in the world that could have made it interesting. >> i will agree with that. >> i couldn't handle it. it was so boring. i have to get into another

industry. >> jim webb is so desperate. >> how many times was he going to whining to anderson cooper he didn't get any air time. poor me. when you get your time, that's your line? come on. >> i beg to differ. i think he did a heck of a job. he said his -- he's most proud of is someone he killed and that's a guy i want to be president. the guy who kills people. >> i know. that's kind of what -- i like the uncomfortable laughter that followed because it just said they were not prepared for this. that he actually didn't say the health insurance industry. he said some guy he blew up. >> you have to give props for not going the republicans are the real enemies. hillary clinton comparing iranians to republicans. >> that was fantastic. that was one thing. she did mention somebody that wasn't american. the iranians. that was such a weird thing especially after the deal. i don't know what that meant. i have to ask you, chafee, he

was that strange guy, he might be steve. he claims he's never had a scandal in his life. is that true? >> no, it's not. in 1990s he used taxpayer money to buy four pet grogs for his office. >> really? >> yeah. >> which is crazy because frogs are free. >> it's true. you can't trust this guy. it's like buying bottled water. >> you go outside when it's raining, there is your frogs bro. could have avoided this whole thing. >> do you know how much the frogs were? >> they were only like a couple bucks but they're frogs. could have been zero bucks. >> i guess he must have used petty cash thinking no one would notice. would you spend -- why would you buy frogs for the office? >> apparently he had like a large aquarium in his office and maybe the frogs are around po that little ecosystem in there. >> i think people with animals in their offices are weird

anyway. it's like weirdly distracting. i don't like it at all. my dentist has a weird fish tank and i'm like why do you need all these fish tank? >> that's the exception. i think fish are tranquil, relaxing. >> a big fish in a small pond -- >> transition -- >> you're welcome. >> i think hillary was the winner of the debate. >> yeah. >> but, again, when you're in a koi pond there's not much of a challenge there. >> lincoln chafee who can't remember why he voted for a bill and then blame the death of his father. that's not that much competition. >> i don't know what debate you were watching. i think bernie sanders won that debate. he had the moments. nobody was talking about anything hillary clinton said. he gave her the model answer for her e-mail debate. you know what i'm saying? it's a mess. she hasn't gotten it right so far. they should be in a conference room watching what bernie sanders said over and over. >> do you think he screwed that up, that it was supposed to be an insult. it was supposed to be an insult but it turned out to be --

>> high praise? yeah, it was hey praise for sure. how whack are you hillary clinton that bernie sanders, your chief rival, can handle your scandal better than you can. >> that is true, that is true. i have to go to the liberal panel. it's got to be tough for you to look at your candidates and see how boring and stiff they are. they're stiffer than you. >> well, thanks a lot. but they did talk about policy unlike the republican debates and it's not socialism. it's capitalism. it's democratic socialism within a capitalist society. you want to talk about giving stuff away? it's giving stuff -- what republicans do is give stuff to the top 1% to wall street. tax breaks. tax breaks to the rich. they're giving stuff away. >> and the rich pay the most taxes. what you're arguing for is crony socialism. >> not crony socialism. is social security socialism, medicare? >> yes. >> you want to take all of that away? >> i do want to take it all away. i don't want the government taking my money.

i can spend it better than they can and i can't believe i'm yelling at you. >> and you're going to give it to poor people? you're going to help the sick and infirm and needy? >> a rising tide lifts all boats. do you like that? i just made that up. >> it's very true. >> it is, very true. shall we go -- before we go to the break, i have a quick update. on a story we've been following. on tuesday before the debate, cnn revealed they're actually keeping an extra podium on the ready in case vice president biden showed up. he never did, but it got me to thinking, what happened to that podium? where did it go? i sent a reporter to find out. here is our latest edition of "where are they now? "? >> here is that empty podium for joe biden just in case he decides to jump into the race. >> that was on tuesday. biden never showed, but for the podium, steve mcstevens, it was a sad ending to a lifelong

dream. that's because mcstevens had hoped to follow in the footsteps of a long line of prestigious podiums. his great grandfather served under fdr, his father under jfk, and his older brother was part of ronald reagan's most famous speech. >> mr. gorbachev, tear down this wall. >> sadly, because of the vice president, mcstevens never got his chance to shine. instead of the career that could have been, several dead end jobs followed. first he worked at the bronx zoo's woodpecker enclosure but quit because it was too painful. then later as a parking cone but quit because it was too boring. and finally as a deejay, but quit because it was too easy. he was never seen again. meanwhile, hollywood a-listers are weighing in on mcstevens' failed career. >> we get into trouble when we don't have a sense of self. you just got to be sometimes.

>> this has been a "where are they now." >> they don't always have happy endings, do they? very sad. very sad. all right. don't go anywhere. we have lots more stuff, including the awesome kids from the new york city urban debate league. they're back and they wave fantastic. they're up next. let me talk to you about retirement. a 401(k) is the most sound way to go. let's talk asset allocation. sure. you seem knowledgeable, professional. would you trust me as your financial advisor? i would. i would indeed. well, let's be clear here. i'm actually a dj. [ dance music plays ] [laughs] no way! i have no financial experience at all. that really is you? if they're not a cfp pro, you just don't know. find a certified financial planner professional who's thoroughly vetted at letsmakeaplan.org. cfp -- work with the highest standard.

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give me a break. here we are. so all week we've heard from brit hume and chris wallace and bret bair analyzing the first democratic debate. but i want to hear from the provinga professionals. i want to hear from the new york city debate league. we're back with faye dee looking as suave as ever. taralina, her first time. don't be nervous. chase with his classic bow tie and suspenders look. very, very fetching, and, of course, joelle is going to make

me look stew wupistupid. i have a feeling you have a cogent overview of the debate. how did you see it in carson of the republicans? >> first off i have to acknowledge a debate in itself it's the speakers, the judge, and then the people who view the debate. >> uh-huh. >> the democratic debate sort of saw that their job is to speak to the people, that they have to tell the people why they should be president, but the republican debates involved mostly trying to slander each other and saying i should be president, not you. they focused on saying you should decide who is president but we're going to give you the details on why you should vote. >> interesting, perceptive outlook. i would say though that maybe the democratic debate was a little too nice. it could have been a little more boxing in there, but that's me because i'm kind of a jerk. all right. tara, who was your favorite of them all? who did you like? >> i think i liked hillary clinton because, you know, she's

running to be the first woman president, and that's very important to me. >> uh-huh. why is it important to you? >> because during history, us women aren't very respected as men. i think she's taking a big step. >> all right. why you rather have a woman become president even if maybe she's not as good as the male president? would that play a role? >> yeah, i think so because -- >> really? >> they'll give her a chance. >> what if she's not as good? let me put it this way, let's say you were going to the hospital for surgery and you had a choice between a male and a female doctor and you knew that the male was a better doctor. who would you pick? >> i would pick the male because obviously i want to have my life saved. >> i won that debate. did i win that debate, chase? i destroyed here. >> that's not the definition of a debate. >> what is the definition of a debate, young man? >> a debate is like so you have a topic and then there are a set

of teams or one-on-one debates. so then one person gives their opinion and then the other person gives an opinion and then one person talks professionally about why they think the other person is wrong and then they go back on the background knowledge of the topic and then they are the judge. >> let me ask you about this debate, mr. expert, chase. what issue stimulated you the most or you want to talk about? >> hillary clinton's e-mails. >> yeah? >> because bernie sanders, he really backed her up and it's important they're supporting each other because someone like hillary clinton is very credible and high up until police aspect, in the world. >> but don't you think the e-mails is an important issue because if you're dealing with national security, shouldn't she know how to handle her e-mails? what if you had a teacher who had information on you on her

personal e-mail system and -- but it was not secure, so all of your grades and your behavior is on her e-mail. wouldn't that make you nervous? >> well, for someone like hillary clinton -- well, no. >> i win. >> not really because someone who can back themselves up like hillary clinton or as myself. so it's really important you're ready for these situations because someone as high as hillary clinton or bernie sanders, it's important because they're going to be -- with great powers comes great responsibility and they have to know in the future how to handle situations. not as good as me but -- >> there's no one as good as you, chase. we established that by your fashion sense especially. so, joelle, what did you find interesting about the debate. who did you like, who did you not like? >> well, i thought agreeing with, you know, my fellow colleague i guess you would say, i thought that hillary clinton was very powerful and also

bernie sanders. they both got their points across the table and they both like -- also my colleague said that they both -- they worked together and they did it in a fashionly order and in the end that came out as a great result. >> what did you like about sanders? >> sanders, well, i liked how he like hillary clinton also, he got his points across and he managed to back up all of his points with statistics -- >> what point did you like the most? >> i like the most as he stressed, i like the most that he said that billionaires have a lot of control over our economy, wall street, everything, and how he wants to fix that. so i really thought that if he does become president, that we know that he will do good for the economy and the middle class. >> did you guys like his -- he talked about free education. >> oh, yeah. >> do you like that? >> i think that was a great -- because i think the educational knowledge following in your future but not the education of

debt because now everything is expensive, especially in the united states. >> all right. well, here is -- because you guys are the experts. don't you think it's cheating in a debate to promise free stuff? it's like -- like lets say i'm going against you and you have these facts and i go, well, i think everybody should have free education. everybody is going to want that. but it isn't really free because somebody has to pay for it. imagine if you had a teacher, right, you had a teacher, and the teacher says, okay, everybody gets free ice cream today. you're going to like that teacher, right? but she might not be a good teacher. she might be a bad teacher. i'm not winning you over on this argument, am i? you want the free ice cream and you want the free education. >> uh-huh. >> all right. did i leave anything out? >> well, i mean, the thing is with this whole idea of bernie promising free education, i sort of saw it as good but like behind i saw it was sort of suspicious because you can't really trust it's going to be

free. like you said, someone has to pay for it, but just because it's free education doesn't mean that it's necessarily going to be a good system. like it's going to cost america as well. >> uh-huh. i think you just proved my point. i think he won this debate. >> well, i don't think education is going to cost america because in order to make america a better place, you have to have education. so -- >> so it's an investment. >> yes. >> okay. i can't argue with that, or i would but you'd probably beat me . another great job from the new york city urban debate league making me look stupid. not that i need any help. coming up, will donald trump make us lol on "snl"? we discuss. you deride. heart health's important... so you may take an omega-3 supplement ...but it's the ingredients inside that really matter for heart health. bayer pro ultra omega-3

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his campaign got even sketchier. this week donald trump announced he's returning to nbc, a network, to host "saturday night live" on november 7th. he first hosted it back in 2004 during the first year of "the apprentice" and when i was still in my early 20s. roll it, jarvis. >> cog a doodle doo, folks. i'm donald trump. there's two things i love, a good deal and a good meal. so please join me at donald

trump house of wings. ♪ you know our wings will make you happy ♪ ♪ jump in ♪ you know our wings will fill you up ♪ ♪ if you want one place for chicken wings ♪ ♪ donald trump house of wings snoets. >> that's an improvement on the original song. this appearance will come exactly a year and a day before the 2016 presidential election which means something. meanwhile, the largest hispanic civil rights group in the united states, the national council of la raza called trump's hosting gig a slap in the face to latino viewers which for some people is a bad thing. not me because i actually like getting slapped in certain places downtown for a large sum of money. >> that sounds like a personal problem. >> it's not a personal problem at all. all right.

eboni, i think when groups demand, like petition somebody, it actually helps that person. it only fuels the rise. like if you say trump should be on, people want him to be on. >> of course. especially somebody like trump. he's a natural-born contrarian. this is a guy that the more you push him back, the more that just gives him all the energy boost he's going to have moving forward. look, politically savvy minds say this is bad for trump. he should be being a serious candidate. i think that is just ridiculous. this is where he's his best. he's an entertainer, a tv guy. he's best in his element. when you put him on a debate stage, he looks weak us a he's not a policy guy. the people who like him will like him more because of this. >> it's a good point. he can traffic in pop culture like other people can't, but what are your thoughts on this? you seem perturbed, concerned, or maybe just con spi pated. >> i think he'd be a great cast member. i think it's interesting nbc wouldn't renew "the apprentice"

with a new host because of the comments he made about illegal i am grants but that was three months ago. >> in tv time that's years ago. >> soap opera characters die in three months. >> and get remarried after coming back to life. >> that's so true. meghan, are you looking forward to this? are you excited? >> do you think i'm excited about donald trump hosting "saturday night live." i feel like i'm the token not trump supporter. it's a huge audience. it's a huge influence on people. he's smart to do it. >> i think trump has moved on from your dad. now he's just going after george bush. every week there's a new person that he gets angry at. not angry but kind of like troll. >> it's so fake. it's like fake anger. i don't think he honestly thinks anything negative about you, meghan. it's really unfortunate and kind of a cheap shot he picks the most convenient person. >> don't give him your phone number. >> no. >> or do.

>> joanne, thoughts? >> i think he's going to do great. it's wonderful. i think he is the only candidate though that can host "snl." i do not want to see anyone else doing it. >> quick feet. >> i think they will fail missablely. >> i don't think he will have as much of a following. i think hillary especially should stick to her pancake breakfast. >> ben carson hosting would be fantastic deadpan. >> if it's treated as deadpan. i don't know. he is so low key, but he's so very, very bright. katherine, when was the last time a presidential candidate hosted "snl"? >> 1996, steve forbes did it, and he bombed. >> really? >> yeah, he bombed so bad that the atlantic made a list of worst most unfunny awkward "snl" hosts ever in 2012, and he was in the headline. >> yeah. >> from mc hammer to steve forbes. paris hillton was on the list

ever. you don't ever want to be on the same lists a paris hilton. >> that's true. especially with the health department. sorry. as world's healthiest people. that's what i meant. liberal panel, it's got to suck for you that none of your candidates could host "saturday night live." they just don't have the chops in. >> if hillary clinton posted you'd blame nbc for supporting hillary clinton. >> he already was on. she treated her with kid gloves. >> but she didn't host it. now -- >> i bet they asked her and she said no. >> we don't have any evidence of that. >> i don't need evidence. >> obviously not. >> yeah. >> here you have a situation where the network that fired him for his remarks about hispanics is welcoming him back? >> yes. we made that point. >> i'm making it again. >> very good. we have time for this, this is the most important story of the day. mcdonald's thought that it had it all figured out. let's punch up the sales by serving breakfast all day long.

so they've been doing it for about two weeks and already some franchise owners are already barking. they say all day breakfast is causing all day slower service. all day chaos in the kitchen and all day not having better sales. that calls for a -- >> ha ha. >> yes. >> joanne, it's only been a week. shouldn't they be a little patient? >> definitely. you net kinks to work out. it will turn into two complains louder, the people who want breakfast all day or the people who don't want the long lines. they'll have to figure it out. >> maybe it's just me but the breakfast cutoff time was a very fun game i played with myself. >> right. >> it was always about getting to the buzzer. now it's like i don't have the same incentive. i don't want the mcmuffin anymore. >> and a the people who complain the loudest are usually hung over seeking that breakfast past 10:30. >> don't judge me. >> that's the best part of world star hip-hop is when they record somebody who demands that they have the food and they don't have it and they start yelling

and then there's a fight and they end up on the ground wrestling. it's beautiful. >> i haven't been involved in on the internet in a video about mcdonald's sites. i don't know. >> here is the thing, has anybody gotten somebody to serve them after 10:30. >> yes. >> i had one. >> i bet it was a guy. >> i'm so proud of myself. >> i bet it was a guy. >> greg. >> i know, i'm sexist. >> it was a guy. >> nobody will do it for me. they will do something to the sandwich. this is really stupid when you go to a fast food restaurant demanding stuff because if you demand stuff, they're going to . i swear i have eaten many a sandwich with hair in it. >> oh. >> sometimes my own. katherine, is there anything beneficial about eating breck fabs for dinner? >> yeah, because the food is cheaper and easier to prepare. i have this study here from dr. natalie a. nevens, who is an expert on breakfast and eating and food. but, you know, i just feel like when you're going to eat breakfast food, i have only ever

eaten a ton of it. i don't know if natalie know what is my habits are in terms of eating but, you know, for some i guess an egg or two is better than a giant bowl of spaghetti is basically what she's saying. >> that's interesting. liberal panel, what fast food do you eat? >> as you can tell i have a pretty big mouth. pizza fits nicely. juf the mouth of a brick oven pizza oven. >> perfect fit. >> yeah, do you. i'd like to put that in there right now permanently. >> thank you very much. >> go away. coming up, playboy is getting rid of those horrible articles. i'm sorry, they're getting rid of the nude women. stay tuned anyway. if you're running a business, legalzoom has your back. over the last 10 years we've helped one million business owners get started. visit legalzoom today for the legal help you need to start and run your business. legalzoom. legal help is here.

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third nipple on a blind cat. the change will happen in march 2016, oddly the same date they plan to replace hue hefner's head with a robot suck cue bus. they will no longer be fully nude. they will wear things like shirts. essentially it's now maxim for retirement homes. full nudity was banned from the website last august and the site's traffic actually quaut ruppled which is the first time putting clothes on a woman actually increased circulation. stupid joke but i left it in there anyway. meghan, playboy has approached you before, right? >> i did an interview with playboy for 20 questions which whenever people give me crap about that, i say dick cheney has also given interviews to playboy. i'm not alone. i think it shows sex and nudity isn't that exciting. we're so oversensitized with it and the internet and less is more, ladies. less is more. >> yeah, joe.

>> i feel like i'm being ganged up on here. >> in your dreams. >> in the best possible way. >> ebo ni, playboy is trying to portray this as a victory. i have spit on me. playboy is trying to portray it as a victory, it's unnecessary because porn is everywhere. it's like a victory for chronic masturbators. >> i think they think they're taking the high road. playboy is not the first magazine you'd pick up anyway. they are a legitimate place to articles. really. >> i want to chronicle the man hours lost do you to the massive porn obsession in this country. how much time is lost because men are busy doing things -- >> am i the only one that thinks

this is sad though? i like the playboy in the sense i think it was a really nice classy way to do nudity. >> it's the rotary phone of pornography. >> esquire gq, not playboy. >> it's the horse drawn buggy of perversion, joe. >> i think it's a good thing. i don't care for smut to begin with. and second of all, maybe they could put the centerfold just an educated woman talking about how much money she makes. that's a turnon for me. >> it certainly is. joanne, you're a millennial, whatever that is. they say that's part of the reason for the change. the millennials are no longer interested. >> because of technology. you can get that instant gratification of seeing a nude woman at the click of a mouse. i do think like meghan said, it's important to bring back the art of the tease. that would be great for young millennial men to understand. >> true. >> once again. >> i just feel bad for me personally. i won't ever have that sort of

mind grappling i will have to go through to shame my father with a centerfold. >> there were times when i was hosting red eye, and guests are going they asked me to do playboy and i go no, but they would do it anyway. sooner or later they would need the money. i would like to think of the playboy mansion as the picture of dourian gray as the magazine tries to day the same age, the mansion just falls apart. it's known for its bunnies. are there any other animals there? >> oh, yeah. the dude is a freak. he has a zoo in his backyard. right after he has an actual zoo license. he has doves, peacocks, all kinds of animals because i guess, you know, he jest needs more. you see all these naked people all the time, you need something to be excited about which is why i have never looked at a naked person. >> naked people, it's just unusual looking. >> i wouldn't know. >> it's weird.

whoever said the human body is beautiful, they were lying. it's a strange thing. there are certain things that make no sense. we'll talk about that later for another hour. maybe we'll do a whole hour on that. liberal panel, you subscribe to play wood, right? >> i could use a coat of paint otherwise i'm kind of naxd here. >> that's true. you're naked in your stupidity. >> it puts a whole bunch of air brushers out of work. >> that is true. >> the whole industry. >> well, thanks for that. okay. time to take a break. still to come, we have greg mail which is mail, m-a-i-l, plus the scariest story you will see all week. leave now and i will write an angry letter to your employer. i will. you tuck here... you tuck there. if you're a toe tucker... because of toenail fungus, ask your doctor now about prescription kerydin. used daily, kerydin drops may kill the fungus at the site of infection and get to the root of your toe tucking. kerydin may cause irritation at the treated site. most common side effects include skin peeling... ...ingrown toenail, redness, itching, and swelling.

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leave the room now and maybe get your parents a beer. >> and then he said fax to it me and i'm like, who faxes. i don't even know how to use a fax machine. >> five minutes to show time ladies. >> thanks, appreciate it. yeah, it's like -- [ phone ringing ] >> hello? >> hello. >> yeah? >> do you like the fall? >> yeah, sure. >> what's your favorite fall flavor? >> i don't know. >> you have to have a favorite. what comes to mind? >> pumpkin spice. i'm drinking a pumpkin spice coffee right now. >> i know.

you both are. >> where did this come from? >> how did he know we're drinking pumpkin spice lattes. >> they're coming for you barbara. >> lou dobb is this you again? >> hello ladies. nice to see you. >> where did those pumpkin spice cupcakes come from? >> we have to get out of here. >> i'm so scared. i see basic people. i can't see you. i can't -- >> there's the light right here. [ screaming ] >> pumpkin cheesecake cookies. >> pumpkin spice oreos.

>> pumpkin loaf. >> pumpkin spice beer. >> pumpkin seeds. >> pumpkin spice latte. >> pumpkin spice granola bars. >> the items are multiplying! [ screaming ] >> where did you go? >> i'm right here. >> where? no! ♪ >> that's very, very entertaining. where did you get that music? >> where you get all music. >> i always wanted -- where do you get that weird music?

it's like a little child singing at a high level. >> and you know they didn't pay that kid enough. >> how old is that kid now? i'm saving this. i'm watching it later. i almost forgot. less than ten days away, how to be right, that's the title of my new book. it's available october 27th. reserve your copy now. i'll be out on tour in support of this book. i'll be making stops in ohio, kentucky, and indiana. joe, those are three states. in all, i'll be hitting 20 cities, nine states. go to my website for more important information. sfx: dad's voice i love you baby girl. duracell quantum lasts longer in 99% of devices so you can always be there. ♪ plan well and enjoy life... ♪

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we danced in a german dance group. i wore lederhosen.man. when i first got on ancestry i was really surprised that i wasn't finding all of these germans in my tree. i decided to have my dna tested through ancestry dna. the big surprise was we're not german at all. 52% of my dna comes from scotland and ireland. so, i traded in my lederhosen for a kilt. ancestry has many paths to discovering your story. get started for free at ancestry.com. ♪ >> it's time for kbrgreg mail. >> i read, he answers, then we do pilates in a pit of fire.

christopher from maryland starts things off by asking, would you consider running for speaker of the house and immediately start impeachment proceedings against the potus thus saving the country and perhaps the world? >> thank you christopher, but no, i can't run for office. people say they have skeletons in their closet. i actually have real ones. i kill people. then they just decay. >> the flesh actually has a lot of nutrients. >> it does. i'm all for depopulation. >> max from chicago writes, love the show. i just have one really important question. would you rather wear red for the rest of your life or be a mobile tree? >> that's not actually an important question. >> no. and what's a mobile tree? >> it's a tree that moves. isn't that john kerry? >> oh. is that mean?

>> was that mean? i don't know. he's out cycling somewhere. >> trees are essential -- >> trees are our friends. >> finally from scott nelson, i think you should have a toe wrestling segment where female guests have to toe wrestle with joanne or katherine. >> this is interesting. why is it that the only fetishists that watch tv are foot fetishists? every single show i that have been on, it's only the guys who are into feet that write. >> some women. >> that's true. by the way, toenails. how can you be a foot fetishist with toenails? you people think i'm weird, but it's true. all right, we got to move on. ebony k. williams, she won't tell us what k means.

joanne, katherine, lou dobbs and of course the evil liberal panel. i'm greg gutfeld and i love you, america. ♪ hi i'm eric bolling in for bill o'reilly. thanks for watching us tonight. let's get right to our top story. the fbi livid at president obama over his comments over the hillary clinton email investigation. the "new york times" reports today that the bureau's agents are mad the president down played the situation during his interview with "60 minutes" on sunday. >> did you know about hillary clinton's use of private email server? >> no. >> while she was secretary of state? >> no. >> do you think it posed a national security problem? >> i don't think it posed a national security problem. i think that it was a mistake that she has acknowledged. i do