>> i am greg gutfeld. i downed three bags of stricken peanuts. here's what's coming up. do we need to change the way we hold political debates? i have some ideas. another dent with a cop caught on tape. are they ever as good as the ones on my collections. hard worker now. only one option left. never speak words again. the debate kids will report on the new book. let's get started america. i have a life support on the trunk of maacah roll law the firearms were being a jerk.

>> i don't think the jokes are suiting him at all. >> isn't that correct and arrogance that is just rude. >> at thats a joke. everybody knows it is a joke. >> here's what i learned from that last debate. (bleep). nothing. i learned nothing. i think i lost information while watching it. the more i watched the dumber i got. by the time it was over i had the iq of lincoln chafee. >> he could have instate tuition of our state colleges. >> but on the bright side i now laugh during episodes of two broke girls. so what happened? why did the debate stuck harder than a dyson in a horder's

living room? there are too many mouths that speak in plaid tude. the sentence when heard kills brain cells. >> we will be the first generation in american history that leaves our children worse off than ourselves. the government has no business. >> millions of americans rose up against am nest -- amnesty. >> moderators ate up all of the time when their heat seeking questions. the moderators the other reason it stunk like salad in a hot car. >> is it a version of a presidential campaign? >> you act like you hate your job. >> i talk to economic advisors who served presidents of both parties. they say you have as much chance of cutting taxes that much without increasing the deficit as you would flying from that

podium flapping your arms around. >> everybody is saying they were biased. it's a fish bowl for retired first bumping fox brokers. it's a hosts with speed daters like a pot of coffee. solutions change the format make it a word they will be like rat battles with the size of the visible underwear. round cable it. make it like the five but with shock collars. i promise i will do it sober for the first hour. sadly the solution that previs offers suspending the debate with his nuts. the best thing that could pap ten is unite against the one thing. swarmy posturing media hacks. the hosts were with the candidates. i could be wrong.

like i said it is dumber. i am so dumb i could relate to john har roth. let's welcome tonight's guests. >> she is the heidi claum of the courtroom. rid de spencer. and if they were bongos we would bang him on the beach by the bond fire nick nepalo. her astrological sign is smyrna nof. her glasses are sponsored by windex. >> from national review he's made of trees and full of fleas. the liberal panel. boo liberal panel. i need to know your analysis of the debate. >> i like your idea. fight club is a good idea if you want to see chris christie without a shirt i would rather

see hillary in one piece. >> when trump is winning the polls. >> needs to brush up on the economy. >> who else is in if? >> you named them all. >> do you agree with him? >> i think his hole cal analysis is dead on. i agree with your analysis of what is did it was up der gom fo brain cells to under. you had the moderator tos like john har wood warned about in advance it is a question that combines the perfect balance of humidity. the economic debate they didn't ask wall street

didn't ask about trade policy. steven co bear asked hillary clinton they didn't do anything like that. >> recommend my, what are you a defense attorney? >> former prosecutor. >> who murdered at the debate and who got killed? >> i say everybody sgot killed. i think they were trying to i am late what fox news did. megyn kelly was the winner of the debate. every one of the three hosts are trying to make a name for themselves to taking the spotlight away from our candidates. >> interesting point. because what's his face har wood started off with a trump question it wasn't substantive. it's the purpose of this debate. to make har wood and the other

two moderators the stars of the show. increased revenue advertising for cnbc. we are all talking about the moderators because the candidates didn't say anything. >> tsz not by ego. >> how would he? what kind of blame is that? >> he's finished. >> the audience there is booing you. it is knotted just all of the analyses afterwards. in real time the audience is booing him. it speaks to the climate of america. everyone has to speak in sound bytes. no one gets their policies across. i was asking lindsay graham about iraq and syria. spoke maybe three minutes.

maybe want to vote for him on foreign policy alone. ee oo i heard his ideas. you are not hearing what the candidates would do if you were at the white house. the guy the uncle you go fishing with he takes the hip out of the bottle and tells you crazy stories and you believe when it gets dark. >> remember when you ask them. i want to kill iran. >> it is wonderful. >> i am going to kill our aunt. >> let's go to our brainy lady katherine. huckabee was talking about his grand kids. are there any facts about grand kids that you might have? >> huckabee was saying he cares about the country because it is going to have to cherry his five

grand kids. trump has 7 grand kids. 7 more than 5, more walk into the charred remains. >> ben sanders had eight, to. >> it is all about who i just want to have the grand kid. that that by logically -- >> liberal panels would the moderators have been like this to hillary clinton? >> i loved the debate. the debate was awesome. cnbc is great. is it like msnbc? >> it is owned by the parent company nbc. hillary cln ton woven joyed

steve har wood but caning the debate good? >> they are the ones that got obama elected in the first place. he's the most liberal. he didn't even try to hide it. >> that is my point. >> i think you have to expose him. >> they bring it back on the side of everybody else. they are saying they are the bad guys doesn't get get add mat me. ultimately this is a scenario where the networks are there too long in manhattan then negotiate. they would get the ad revenue but you have a con tefsh tive

meeting. >> put him on ngo. >> had the remaining caps of the golden girls. >> play jeopardy. >> alex trebek, everybody loves him. >> pompous canadian. >> you know who would have got continue by vote is the person who answered the question honestly. who tube great if they said oxycodone. you know what, i like, that was the dumbest question and that set the bar real lie really low. >> it shows he would be shameless. >> who do they open with? >> i felt like it was a debate in an episode of the west wing.

actors playing toed rate tors. before we go to break we have a hopeful video from our funger viewers out there. >> we have been hearing a lot about tocks reform from the president stal distent let'ses latest installment of news for kids. >> whoa why are it canses and tore affordable. they provide swedish massages for rabbits and teach mountain lions to run on a treadmill.

how much does uncle cam know how much to take from each person couldn't you don't like the number. use the pewter program to help you erickcek. marsha due art willie nelson and al capone were invade ears. several programs bailed to show any pos kif impact the u.s. tax code remains in effect. that is news for kids. >> stay tuned. >> stay tuned. we have run over your

[ screaming ] rate suckers! [ bell dinging ] your car insurance goes up because of their bad driving. people try all sorts of ways to get rid of them. [ driver panting ] if you're sick of paying more than your fair share... [ screams ] get snapshot from progressive, and see just how much your good driving could save you.

is the staying awake part... challeng( gunshot ) your day sleep train has your ticket to a better night's sleep. because when brands compete, you save during mattress price wars. save up to $400 on beautyrest and posturepedic. get interest-free financing until 2018 on tempur-pedic. plus, helpful advice from the sleep experts. but mattress price wars is ending soon at sleep train. ♪ sleep train ♪ your ticket to a better night's sleep ♪

>> a sheriff's deputy forcefully remove add high school student from the classroom. how did cnn report the story. we investigate in a segment we are calling... >> you see in an attempt to clearly explain the nuances of this particular situation and provide the audience with all of

the information necessary to come to a reasonable conclusion they decided to play the clip until your eyes went. >> the encounter could be heard. >> based upon determine ined officially by the legal system. >> i saw my daughter in the school district. >> out wage at this video. is there any way the officer's actions could be justified? >> this is post punch. >> chair goes back her legs get caught. we stae the start end. there's already an altercation happening. >> 22 times they played the video 22 times in just two

segments. the amount of times they ran it in the 24-hour news cycle had the time continuum. meanwhile the officer involved in the situation has been fired from the school. on friday 100 students from the high school held a protest by walking out of class. >> it was the support of the school resource officer. i asked was it necessary? >> back and to the left. back and to the left. back and to the left. you love every aspect of the video to fully appreciate it. >> you have got so many identities. is it great to show it over and over again? >> you want to make sure everyone fully understood all of what's going on.

>> you are a lawyer if the child teenager strikes the cop and the cop is there to maintain order. also refused to leave and can't leave. what is his recourse? >> they have standard protocol. they have procedures they are trained to de escalate a problem. shaes his job in a high school. it is not as if he is coming after a criminal who is armed and dangerous. she is a high school student who refused to put away her phone and asked by the teacher and administrator to leave the classroom she refused to leave. we are stoled there's something that happened before the video turned on where she lungs at him or strikes at him and he pulls her down. obviously it is a sensational video. it looks really bad for the officer.

the lawyer would say he probably didn't follow protocol. >> the cop and girls got the sad cars yesterday. full healthcare. >> that happened to me. why are the cops handling this situation anyway? >> why do -- >> we have people shot in other places. i said this last week on the five about charter school caring parents like charter schools dealing with those that are there. nobody is mining the store. does that make sense? >> maybe i am too privileged. i grew up in a school where the officers would high five them. they did nothing.

they only caught you if you were kiching class and walking out to your car. that was about it. this all started because she refused to plget off her phone. then kids take out their phones to take video. >> on her phone she is watching video of her. one of those weird movies that doesn't end. she is going look at me>> here i don't think none of us have children of our own in middle school or high school. in my practice i can tell you i have learned to my surprise that talks about every middle school and high school these days. they have police officers.

a lot have metal detectors. the terrible tragic things. what happened was certainly not that. it was an officer probably over reacting. real quick you convinced me there should be cops. >> what's with the tess can? had>> they are the mass produced single unit desk with the laminated table and plastic chair which is what made it difficult. >> image if you had to move the desk and the chair individually. that would take twice as long. >> that is true. >> liberal mranl i bet you think the cop should be in jail for life? >> i am surprise the. if this little girl was a muslim

fox news would have have been kori covering it. >> all right liberal panel. don't go anywhere. we have lots more stuff. including my interview with the. first a recoword from our spons. >> tired of shopping in two different stores for windows and pictures of your favorite tv personality? now you don't have to. all yours for 80. thanks william constipated? trust number one doctor recommended dulcolax use dulcolax tablets for gentle overnight relief suppositories for relief in minutes and stool softeners for comfortable relief of hard stools.

dulcolax, designed for dependable relief

deals are made over bacon. global trade runs on eggs. we've got breakfast for everybody. paleo people. we got sausage and bacon. vegan? i don't know what that is, but we got a lot of fresh fruit. you call yourself a glutenarian? hey, we've got cereal, bagels, toast, everything you can handle. we're insane in the grain! oh, pancakes, huh? i feel you on that. plan well and enjoy life... ♪ or, as we say at unitedhealthcare insurance company, go long. how you plan is up to you. take healthcare. make sure you're covered for more than what just medicare pays... consider an aarp medicare supplement insurance plan insured by unitedhealthcare insurance company... the only medicare supplement plans that carry the aarp name, and the ones that millions of people trust year after year. always have a plan.

plan well. enjoy life. go long. glad i could help you plan for your retirement. alright, kelly and promise me that you'll try that taco place on south street. and we have portfolio planning tools to help you manage your ira. yeah, you're old 401k give me your phone. the rollover consultants give you step-by-step help. no set-up fees. use your potion. sorry, not you. my pleasure. goodnight, tim. for all the confidence you need.

who's tim? td ameritrade. you got this. his latest books brings together the most controversial called thrown under the omni bus. very clever. i am delighted to have the man himself to talk about it. pj, this is a big book. >> it is a big fat book. it is kind of a workout program. >> my left arm isn't as strong as my right. >> i don't know why my left arm

isn't skrongtronger. this is amazing. everything was written out on a type writer. >> it is written on an ibm sell lick -- selleck trick. the 91-year-old guy in the state of new hampshire finally said enough i am retiring. i am not doing this any more. now mine gathers dust in the corner of my office. >> it is really easy. >> you always hear the criticism. >> you have made me laugh for decade. do you agree there are many funny people on the right? >> the reason the left has a

reputation for being funny is because the left show business is part of the left. why show business a part of the left is because they are about policing people policing the audience. what is left except to go out and say you are going to get everything for free. it is all free and everybody is happy. we love you. we love you no matter what. you can chawning your gender and race. we love you and everything will be free which is of course a big lie. xheed combra comedians are in s business. they tend to be left wing. if you go to jonathan swift on as humorous of course they are more conservative than not. what makes us laugh? they are different.

they are new. >> that makes sense. >> what do you remember writing first and what do you remember writing first of the published? >> the first things i decided to be a writer when i have had in college. i wanted to be something else, a soldier of fortune or revolutionary. they were far away from miami. thereof no quality control. i just write stuff. poetry or the letter x over and over again. poetry is great for picking up girls. not for paychecks. it turns out in order to be comprehension i poet or novelist it really helped to be dead like james rosen. >> i want to know about the story when you were held at gun point. >> my first was civil war

correspondence. i got myself down into south lebanon held by hezbollah fighting for assad right now. great bunch of guys. i get stopped at a checkpoint by this -- bowed by that 16-year-old with an ak-47. america safety several t-shirt. he sees my american mass port and legals it at me. he talked about the great american satan dele and how america is responsible for hatred and zionism. you name it america is responsible for it. at the end of his rant. he lowers the gun hands me back my passport and said i am going to detroit michigan to study sen tal scho -- dental school.

he was the under pant bomb error wealthy orthodontist in bloomfield hills. >> you know ne which direction they are going to go it is our fault for worrying about that. it is like we are islamophobic because we don't want them blowing us up. you talk about politicians and leaders too light compared to the candidates now like the trumps and standers and so on. could it be the reason why you find these candidates unfavsavo is we know too much about them now? >> we live in an information flood. we have the information gathered two by two. think of all of the things we may not know about calvin coolidge. >> yes. >> we can say with confidence

calvin college lage would not be kalu again nicks. his writing influenced life when my mom bought national lamb boon. it is called thrown under the omnibus. the kids are back again with a special project to do this week. had nothing to do with withatch that horrible debate. rl we always were told we were german. we were in a german dance group. i wore lederhosen. so i just started poking around on ancestry. then, i decided to have my dna tested through ancestry dna. it turns out i'm scottish.

so, i traded in my lederhosen for a kilt. but i've managed.e crohn's disease is tough, except that managing my symptoms was all i was doing. and when i finally told my doctor, he said humira is for adults like me who have tried other medications but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohn's disease. and that in clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. and many achieved remission. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. ask your gastroenterologist about humira.

with humira, remission is possible. vo: it happens so often, you almost get used to it. i'd like to make a dep-- we got this. vo: which is why being put first takes some getting used to. ♪ nationwide is on your side nationwide is the exclusive insurance partner of plenti.

>> my book is out "how to be right it is doing great on amazon. the web site not the rain forest. it is one thing to write a book but how to write a good book.

>> joining me once again are beatty, karolina, chase and joelle. i think you were surprised the opening weren't you? >> yes. >> all right. i want to know what you have to say about my book. >> the kor doesn't look like a complete portion of your face. you know how hulk transforms you look like the little of (growling) >> i look like mid hulk. it's not a pleasant look, isn't it? >> what about the inside of the book? >> you like it? >> tfsz very interesting. it was a lot -- it was really unconventional for a chiengd. it was challenging for someone my age. it was deeper in politics than

just a presidential candidate b debate for who is getting elected. >> tuz it make you want to write a book? >> looks like a lot of pages. >> how about a booklet? >> i don't know what that is? >> a brochure. >> too many pages. >> joelle you are a fan of the man bun aren't you? >> okay. so i guess you could say i am a fan of making fun of the people who have man buns. what did you feel about the chapter i gave you? >> i like how you gave information for the debate tors about how to refute the opponent's point while agreeing with them and destroying them. >> exactly. you sneak up on them. >> would you say my book is better than bill o'reilly's book? >> yes.

>> thank you very much. >> what chapter did you read and did you find anything wrong with it or right with it? >> i found some things right. there was a chapter saying just that people were lesser. my thought is it is completely write when you have to say things that doesn't have to be in a woet or anything. other than that the shings she talked about i am going to quote the book, too. the only substance in the world is drugs. i disagree with that because we haven't regulated the useful which is pain-killers and stuff because people can abuse that into powerful drugs. we banned the other drugs such at pot and marijuana it has the

area where it is a gateway to other drugs. >> i like to agree with you on the gateway. you have a strong opinion. the potential for abuse is high and you need to take care of communities and protect against abuse. sometimes you can't protect human beings from themselves maybe you can find it out. but i am glad you thought about it. would you say my book is better than dana perino's book. >> clearly it was. karolina. what were your taught? >> i have the chapter use your mom. i think it comes in handy because i use my mother to help me prepare for de mates. >> what did she tell you>> make

sure i look good. >> i think criticism is very important in life because you never know call you ant to pear. it's true. you think this book should be taught in school? >> oh, yeah, i was talking to my bee date teacher i was going to have them printout pages out of the book to share in school. being right is, well, being right. it comes in handy if you are trying to get your point across and sometimes people see themself and they don't see themselves as they are. >> it goes back to the point of criticism. you always give your honest criticism.

you maybe me about better children. bloog if i where ammed rush rush you reap the reward you deserve. if you pump iron two times a week your body will change as a direct result. fitness is one bank where you deposit effort and build the portfolio of reward. there is no affirmative action in exercise. one muscle doesn't get special dispensation because it's smaller or weaker. there is no minimum wage safety net or unemployed bennys for your gluts.

you're either in shape or you're not. no one is going to redistribute my awesome pecs. ♪ ♪ it's the final countdown! ♪ ♪ the final countdown! if you're the band europe, you love a final countdown. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do.

whether your car is a new car an old car a big car a small car a long car a short car a car you soup up a car you show off a car you deck out a car for the open road a car for off road a car for on the road all you have to do is plug in hum for a smarter, safer car diagnostic updates, certified mechanics hotline, pinpoint roadside assistance hum by verizon put some smarts in your car

it's gotten squarer. over the years. brighter. bigger. thinner. even curvier. but what's next? for all binge watchers. movie geeks. sports freaks. x1 from xfinity will change the way you experience tv. >> we are using offensive

language we give big thanks to melissa harris for being a force against evil in this world. words, words. yes, she never heard sticks and stones. anyway the fringe will listen to the best is hard worker. she thinks we should be quote super careful when using that term. here's a response to her guest who referred to paul ryan as a hard worker. how dare he. >> he wants us to be super careful when we use the language hard worker. i keep an image of folks working in cotton fields on my office wall. it is a reminder of what hard works look like. i feel you that he is a hard worker, but in the context of relative privilege, i want to point out when you talk about work life balance and being a hard worker, the moms who don't have healthcare who are working on -- we don't acall them hard worker

we thicall them failures and sucking off the system. >> that is very unfair. >> absolutely amazing. you know what that is? that is a product of academia background where she is talking meaningfully about nonsense. none of that could help you in the practical world. >> i do those things that there is going to what paris harris is saying here. i am thinking of a congress with less hard work taking more of the money giving it to other people. spending more things of that nature. i would be fine with all members of congress adopted the paul ryan approach and spent the next several years with their families. >> i want to spend more time with my family. remi, what term should we use instead of hard worker.

it is so misplaced and said something about a she is doing these motions that any one other than the najs and the cot tonl to picking order pans. it is ons offensive to anybody in the world. you can't say robust. then you have bust. that's sexiest. you can't say braetd winner becau -- bread winner because of gluten free. >> i have a picture of my kids choking each other. five medications. boehner being speaker of the house. hard work. >> crying at the end soint.

he's talking about chicken joyce. >> i grew up with that. >> me, too. watched it as many times as i watched the swid yo tonight. >> we are not going to talk any more. we are going to gesture. that could also be wrong because it is offensive to people who don't have limbs. you and her have a lot and series and we are all kind of heat they'll. all right cat a lot of people sha to start corking>> colleges in of owe work you back through

skl you can use it in the word work in the context of white privileged. >> hill of a sweatshirt. >> you probably watch perry every day. >> love her. conserveties who pull themselves up by the lower tassels are what ared wroshgers. that way or she will be care y rayi raying to us is newer chance with cincinnati louisville indianap

[ horn honks melody ] well, well. if it isn't the belle of the ball. gentlemen. you look well.

what's new, flo? well, a name your price tool went missing last week. name your what, now? it gives you coverage options based on your budget. i just hope whoever stole it knows that it only works at progressive.com. so, you can't use it to just buy stuff? no. i'm sorry, gustav. we have to go back to the pet store. [ gustav squawks ] he's gonna meet us there. the name your price tool. still only at progressive.com.

>> it is time for greg mail. i read, he answers then we make stones out of blood. from north hollywood california he writes, i work with many types of wood. naturally when i see something made of wood. what kiep of wood is that. when i watched your show i thought the liberal panel was made of maple f. my inare correct it is made of red chinese helm? >> it is actually an excellent question. it is made from a mixture of entitlement, self delusion, dependency and ffred outrage anti person bigotry and moral insect. and morphed in theirs.

next one from tum lass>> that is kind of racist. wasn't doesn't that have to be back? she hates all of us. she bites us. she likes to bites. >> uh-huh. leaves a mark. >> for sure finally last one. dolphins in baltimore right now. i always felt the main reason barry sanders won't be the audience is because he votes. we could lounge in my hop top and slade video. that's how you tried to slip by. last week i don't we are what happened i am not coming back until that rash of yours clears up. i dpoo need that in my life.

recommend knee, mi me, nick, jo, kathleen and earl ry tonight on "red eye." the media keeps going after ben carson. when are we going to see that famous temper of his? i can't wait. and p p.diddy wants us to spend millions of dollars up lifting the black community. i always say mo money can lead to mo problems. >> and can you figure out what coded messages your teen is using to text? our panel provides wit and charm. first, a