our forefathers. i'm jon scott. >> i'm jenna lee, and thank you. make it a merry christmas. hello and merry christmas. i'm kimberly guilfoyle, along with juan williams, eric bolling, dana perino and greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city and this is "the five." ♪ ♪ thank you for joining us tonight. and welcome to our christmas special, we've got an exciting and fun show for you ahead. and we are really looking forward to it. especially because our secret santa has arrived and dropped off all the presents. it's finally time for us to open them. all right, greg. even though you are the king of christmas scrooge. would you like to open your secret santa gift? >> i'll open the big one first. i have two gifts here. >> big ones matter. it feels like a sweater.

did i guess it? >> did you peek? look at that. i love that. this is fantastic. the problem is it's already christmas. so i only have one day to wear this. >> could you wear that all year. >> it's so long. i don't have to wear pants around the house. >> ewwww! >> i'm going to turtle it all day. >> the, does santa have a sword or a light saber? >> it's a unicorn. >> look at santa. >> look at santa. >> it's violent. >> that's what i'm asking. >> kimberly. you got mad when i guessed what it was. and i also know, i saw this and knew it was a just revenge. and it's a picture of -- of -- >> this is the typical pr pose.

and here you go. i'm going to make it extra special. >> you have the benefit of the deal. >> i'm going to put some secret santa sauce on it for you. >> my gosh. yeah, there you go. >> i think a lot of men would say merry christmas to that gift. >> i'm not bringing this home. >> if you got low on funds you can auction it off on ebay. >> funny to see how many guys stop by your office just to say hello now. i'm next? >> yes. >> what did your secret santa give you? >> i'm going to pull this up and block kimberly's shot. just kidding. >> you don't want to block momma's shot. there's one, two -- >> i think your secret santa is a one-percenter with all those gifts. cd? okay. it's cute, it's a lisa book. very cute. i like it.

i'm trying to guess who my favorite santa is. >> probably greg. right? >> i would guess that as well. are you? >> that's awesome. >> it's -- that's amazing. >> it's like bigger than me. >> that's the point. >> giant pez. >> and if you open its head it actually talks. >> you got to set that up. those are the regular pez. so what happens? i have the same question. >> when peter lived here for like three years, he didn't know what a pez was. and you grow up in britain. >> no pez? >> i love -- then i, look what i got, guys. >> kimberly, can you kiss this? >> let me tell you something, mmmmmmwah. >> i feel like i've been assaulted. >> this is your christmas gift. >> thank you, greg. i love it. i love lisa simpson.

i'm honored to be considered to be like her. >> you're there. you're there. i'm down to -- >> running low on gloss now. bolling, what do you have for me to kiss? >> it's a family show. >> on the hand. >> is it a sweat centre. >> it's a flag. >> i think a flag. >> interesting. >> interesting. a hillary sweatshirt. only one person could have that. >> got to be juan. i wanted to give that, i want you to get ready for 16. >> bolling, are you going to wear that? >> i'll wear it when i'm doing work around the house. >> i thought it was a crossword puzzle. >> you could just lie in it. oh! >> lying around the house.

steel my mojo for life. >> this will help you with the ugly sweater. >> wow, there we go. >> because i know what my man likes. >> cannot be opened on the show. >> cannot be opened. >> but can be admired. >> right after the show. >> juan, thank you very much. >> merry christmas, brother. >> thank you, brother. >> this one i passed out. that one is safe to kiss. not hillary, yeah. >> kiss the bottle. >> how do you imagine that. how do you have enough makeup on -- >> running low on supplies. >> that's kimberly's gift here. and i'll open this one. >> i have a feeling. >> you have a feeling? >> it's going to be -- take three. take they're, it's clothing. and more clothing.

look, it's -- it's a burgundy and gold t-shirt. uniform shirt. how can i wear this? you got me. you got me again. merry christmas. >> i got, look i got to turn it around so everyone can see. >> that's a nice gift. >> wait a minute you're not supposed to give me a nice gift. >> that might become a collector's item. >> is this your favorite team? >> of football. yes. >> the burgundy and gold are my favorite team. >> i have to say, i think that eric -- you give the best gifts. >> when i got juan i'm like i know exactly what he wants. >> there you go, redskins. >> now this is a collector's item. >> thank you. >> can you frame it. >> you got a gift? >> so i've got two here. one is the bag, which should i

open first? the wrap. it feels heavy. i really like those bedroom slip wers the little fuzzy pom-pom things. >> i know you, sister. >> very awesome around the apartment. >> gift wrapping is stupid. >> it is stupid. everybody spends so much money on gift wrapping. you tear it off and throw it away. >> i know some people who open things carefully. >> you have to understand how great this moment is. >> it is. >> if i can get it off. >> you need some help. >> oh, my god. oh, my god. is this real? >> it is. >> a salami of the month club? i didn't know there was one. oh, my god. is this really happening? >> we found it at, the company is called boccalone, we've got you a three-month delivery. it's going to show up at your house on the first tuesday of

every month for three months. >> kiss the salami. >> she opened it and she started eating. >> well i had them slice some for her. because i knew she wouldn't be able to wait. that's a great gift right there. >> this -- >> that's an amazing gift. how do you find that. >> they make everything. >> there's a "of the month" for everything. >> nobody thought to get me this gift. i'm going to eat my salami and wear my bedroom slippers. >> i have another thing coming for you, too. >> petho business ma o bio bus p pepto-bismal. >> that's candy to me. it doesn't work on me. >> i love it. thank you so much. >> and i have a little extra thing for everybody so when you wash down your pepto-bismol.

you can do it with this. >> mine is so good. i always say i have to chase it with tums. >> and greg, there you go. >> honestly this is one of the best gifts you'll ever get. >> oh, my gosh. >> i love this. >> you have to read it. what does it say? >> get your glasses on. >> vischla cabernet sauvignon. >> this is typical, let's see, do we want all of this now or later? we're going to roll something so you can see what they're about to get. go ahead.

>> this is the third annual jasper calendar. we made a little video, we can't make one for everybody who wants jasper, because he's america's dog. can you show this to your grandkids. if greg doesn't want his, i can donate it back to us. >> i want to make two quick points. when you do a calendar, it's generally 12 pictures. but you can't even do that. for every month. you have six or seven pictures, you can't edit it down tore 12 best. i'm ebaying this one. if you want the greg gutfeld jasper calendar -- >> you should ebay it. he gives the money to charity. >> i'm keeping the money. >> jasper has the best life. >> my favorite shot is july. >> the thing su can't pick just one picture. and the great thing is because of the software you don't have to just choose one picture. >> but when is jasper's birthday? >> april 9th. >> mine is april 10th. >> it's a valuable discipline.

>> you know, jasper for president, i hadn't seen that before. 2016. >> i'm hoping to make the calendar next year, i would like to have a little jasper photo shoot. >> do you want to kiss him? >> uh-huh. jasper for president. >> thanks for putting up with me and my dog. if you don't want your calendar, you can donate it back. >> did everyone like their presents? i think it's very, very good. >> fantastic. okay everybody put on your little outfits if you've got them. stay tuned, up next you're about to find out if we're able to answer some christmas-related trivia that dana is about to quiz us on. can you answer the questions? don't move we return in moments. i'm senior airman johnson coming out of pearl harbor, hawaii currently deployed to southwest asia i want to wish my husband and my dog chicken nugget a happy new year and

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welcome back to "the five's" christmas special. time to put my co-hosts to the test. i have a batch of christmas trivia questions. here for them to try to answer. it will be interesting. pay attention, i hope you'll play along at home. i always wanted to be a game show host. the first christmas tree appeared in this country -- poland, spain, germany or italy. >> germany is right. correct. how did you know that? >> because that's where christmas came from. >> well, not really. more like -- >> in my world. >> every elf has this ornament on the tip of their shoes, snowflakes, bells, candy cane, snowmen. >> bells. >> thank you. >> including rudolph, how many

reindeer drive santa's sleigh. including rudolph. >> 16. >> 403. >> the answer, multiple choice. >> nine, 12, eight or ten. >> nine. >> nine is correct. another german answer -- nein. none. >> a very german christmas. >> holiday celebrated by -- greg can't answer this holiday celebrated by canada, uk and other places, the day after christmas. victoria day, bank holiday, labor day or boxing day. >> boxing day. >> i said you couldn't participate. >> why? >> because you would obviously know that because you lived in the uk. i love boxing day. anybody know why you call it boxing day? >> putting the presents back in the box and taking them home? >> no, not quite. it was -- you had all the elites that had people that worked below stairs. and then they would have to work

on christmas day for the family. then the family being of generous heart, the next day would give them boxes with gifts. so they actually got to celebrate their christmas on the next day. >> you asked me why i got her the lisa simpson gift. >> i just happened to know that. number five, which u.s. president banned christmas trees in the white house. >> barack obama? >> theodore roosevelt, calvin coolidge, harry truman or lyndon johnson? >> i would say teddy roosevelt. >> i would say coolidge. >> johnson? >> teddy roosevelt. >> but why? >> he's a big-time environmentalist. >> he's like don't cut down the tree. >> natural history museum. good news, there's a lot more trees now than there were then. >> there's too many, cut them all down. on the 10th day of christmas my true love gives to me -- pipers piping, golden rings,

lord a-leaping or geese-a-laying. >> lords a-leaping. >> you know every one of the lines? >> he said hepatitis. those were our six questions. i believe we have some additional time if anybody would like to participate for extra credit? you have any christmas trivia you would like to participate in? >> no but they're giving free mistletoe away on central park west and can you put it in your house and smooch someone. >> or like your photograph of greg? >> where does mistletoe come from? >> hopefully not feet. >> that's true. >> can we get out of here? >> we better get out of this. we're done. don't move, because the fastest seven is up next and "the five's" 2015 christmas jib-jab will be revealed. conquer the weather.

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please join us for a live report at 6:00 p.m. eastern. until then, merry christmas. i 'm harper from air base, turkey. i want to give a shout-out to m >> i'm from the air base in turkey. california, happy holidays and i love you. ♪ ♪ welcome back, time for -- the fastest seven minutes on television. in three eclectic stories. seven energetic minutes, one enigmatic host. first, it may be the hottest jib-jab of christmas 2015. we haven't seen it yet, no one has, except our producers.

so let's roll it. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> kg, were you carrying the package,or you fell down -- >> i took a header. i don't know what's up with that. but i seem to be doing all right. love my outfit and the green hat was just killing it. i got to get one, don't you

think. >> greg, we never knew you were that good of a dancer. >> jib jabbing, one of those things when it happened, everybody thought it was wonderful. can we let it die now? >> it's terrible. we have to stop this. it's over. these guys made billions of dollars. congratulations, now go away. >> wow -- >> take your jib jab with you. >> you sound like a hater. >> i'm a hater. >> i like our jib jab. >> i'm not kidding when i think it's improved over the years. the animation didn't used to be as good as it is now. >> bolling, what's going on. >> when were you doing the limbo. >> even when bolling is plummeting to his death, he's still smiling. >> i think the three of us look a lot alike with our hats on. >> i think it's cute, greg. >> did you have fun? >> i think it's very cute. >> i think it's super cute. it didn't look as bad as i thought it was going to look. i think it looked pretty good. >> remember the one that had us dancing with -- the cinco de mayo? >> we had like --

>> there were little -- >> it's a, it's a mathematical equation that you plug things in. and you roll it. it's nothing. it's stupid. >> you're the worst. i'm taking back my present. >> all right. next up, have you seen the late, late show with james cordon. you know he does a popular carpool skit with celebrities. he did one with the biebs, underwood and others sitting shotgun. watch. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ let every heart ♪ prepare him room ♪ and heaven and nature sing ♪ and heaven and nature sing ♪ and heaven ♪ heaven ♪ and nature sing ♪ ♪ >> greg, you got to like this one. >> i don't have to like anything. by the way -- did they miss a

perfect pun it should be car-aoke. >> justin bieber, rod stewart, carrie underwood. >> are you going to make a joke about stevie wonder driving? >> it's a google car, he can drive it. >> blind people can drive a google? >> you can get in a google car if you're blind? >> yes, it will take you where you want to go. >> it's the future, juan. >> that's scary. >> i want to get in the car and sit in the little car seat and strap in and sing some songs. >> i love -- greg is going to just eviscerate me, but -- >> don't let that stop you. >> driving out to get the christmas tree and the kids and you're singing christmas carols, man, that's pretty special. >> do you sing christmas carols while you're driving? >> i did. not now, i'm an old man, but i used to. >> you know what they're missing --? >> what?

>> a "five" care okaraoke. >> i can sing, and dance. >> i bet juan can sing. >> i agree with you. >> he's smooth. >> i sing in churches and i sing in the shower. >> i'm all in on the shower karaoke. >> we could do that little -- >> we can't film that, though. >> wear bathing suits. it's one of the many commercials going viral this christmas, this spot from toys 'r' us, featuring a dad with his son and someone is missing. ♪ ♪ ♪ sometimes you don't know they're there at all ♪ ♪ but i lay awake wishing on a star ♪ ♪ all the while knowing in my heart ♪ ♪ i was born a dreamer

♪ ♪ >> it's mama, mama coming home. that's sweet. >> it's sweet, but -- i want to sing. no? >> you want your heartstrings to be tugged a little bit. >> it's very sweet and nice for the military veterans coming home and children that miss them. the families sacrifice so much. >> and the point here i guess is that there are a lot of moms who may be in the military and may be away at christmas time. i get that. i was looking at it from the wrong angle. juan? >> that is so sweet. i think this time of year, with the military, so many military people overseas -- it really has impact. they showed videos on tv all the time on the local news.

where you know they have a surprise, where the mom or dad shows up at a football game or at santa claus in the mall. that was the best. i like that. >> i think it's a great commercial. but i, if i was a kid, would have run right by here chasing the car. 'cause the car would be really cool. >> oh, my gosh. >> that was her at the end, coming through the door. >> that was his mother. >> oh, now i get it. >> bolling, where have you been? >> you didn't know that was his mother? >> i didn't know what was going on. what did you think? >> you know when i really get myself in trouble, when kg's eyes get really big. can you do that? >> like -- ahead, a lot of you had christmas-related questions. posted on our facebook page. we'll answer those, coming up. you both have a perfect driving record.

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we it was endless, kimberly. >> you are like the facebook fairy. so charming. >> i knew it was pay-back. >> this is from don granberry. what is your family's favorite christmas tradition? >> make one up. >> let's, i would say decorating the christmas tree. that's what i really love. we put on christmas candles and music. except this year we had the tree

snapped in three pieces, but it was still lovely. >> not a fire hazard, at least. >> no, it's not. it's really fantastic. i guess kind of environmental, right? >> teddy roosevelt would be pleased. >> you care about the world. >> hey, juan, stop looking at kimberly. >> what's your favorite christmas tradition? >> so when i got married my wife's family really when i met her family, they had a christmas eve party. and they would make all the kids go in the basement, all the young people. because then i was like 24, 25. but then up top, they were like partying hard. and now they're gone and but her brother has continued this tradition at his house. it's a family tradition. >> do you have to go to the basement? >> no longer do i have to go to the basement. now i'm allowed upstairs. i'm a big boy. >> i prefer the basement. eric? >> every year my wife loves to go to rockefeller center, goes skating. and we had to go to the rockettes, the christmas show. >> i love the rockettes. >> but see it every year.

there's a point where you go, okay, i got the rockettes. she loves did and my son, actually likes it. >> can you get a nap while you're in there? i love that show. >> i try to talk her into letting me stay outside. >> it's loads of legs in there. >> there's, it's a great show. >> and they revamp the show four or five years ago. it's really cool. >> dana? >> i would have to say what i remember most and it goes on for the entire season is my mother is a very good piano player. and she had, she has christmas music from way back. i mean decades old and i loved it because i learned to play, but not as well as my mom. my mom would always play for us right before we went to school all year long as we were finishing getting ready. so she could play all the christmas songs. so i think that would be my favorite thing. >> that's nice. >> hi, mom. >> that was sweet.

>> tradition at my house. you know you have neighbors that would actually brag about how they go and cut down their own tree. everybody knows that. we would go cut down their tree. they would go, we would just slice it. >> what about your tradition of going shopping? >> drunk shopping. i hate shopping so what happened this week i went to the bar, had a few glasses of win, then went to marc jacobs to buy my wife some gifts. >> how did it work out? >> i had to return them. the best part of the story -- is that i walked in to marc jacobs with a shoe in my pocket because i stole one of my wife's shoes and i put went like this to the person behind the counter. i said this size, just pick something out. >> and were they horrified. but -- in they were a bit stunned. >> the foot was still in it. >> they got, i got great shoes, it was the other thing i purchased that was an absolute nightmare i had to return.

>> what was it? >> so disgusting. it really is horrible. you have to figure out how much alcohol to have when you shop. three glasses, not seven. >> can i say you made an excellent choice by going into marc jacobs for your wife. >> i figured i can't go wrong. >> that's very cool, she's very fashionable. i'm going to go this way to you, dana. from tony what is your favorite christmas memory of all time? including this show? >> i'm going to -- i actually wrote about this in my book. that came out this year. so my grandparents' ranch is in newcastle wyoming. that's in the black hills. >> why is it black? >> because there's a lot of trees and it looks black from far away. there was a ton of snow. and my grandfather had a bunch of toboggans. so he would put us all, we had lots of cousins and my uncles were working on the ranch. so he would put us in the back

of the pickup truck. he would take us to the top. you always wanted to be with my uncle tom. he was the most daring. >> there we go again. >> you guys have ruined my favorite christmas memory. we got down to the bottom. my grandfather would pick us up. you didn't have to drag it up yourself and he would call back and say they're ready for hot chocolate. and we would arrive back. >> i think they would have aunt jemima pancakes. >> little mini pancakes. waffles. >> we were talking about commercials? that sounded to me like -- >> that would have been a great commercial. that's like the budweiser wagon. >> i don't think government safety people would say that you should not be allowed to do those things, but we had a blast. >> and you have a wonderful memory. >> a great memory until y'all ruined it. >> eric?

>> what was the question? >> greatest christmas memory. >> i think the best christmas memory i have personally, is a little bit, a little bit selfish wasn't for me. my sister, whose husband had left had two daughters, the younger daughter was about five or six years old and was missing her dad. but he wasn't around. so someone had to be santa claus. and i did it, i put the santa claus outfit on, went in the basement, dressed up the santa claus, went outside and did the whole santa thing. i never thought i would pull it off. i thought kids would figure that out. they were so enamored with the thought of santa claus, didn't see through the fake beard. >> didn't recognize your voice. >> very emotional for me, personally. >>dy that once and all the kids cried. they all cried. >> i can't imagine why. >> it was in june. i had crawled through a window. >> awkward. >> it was frightening. juan? >> i got two. one is as an adult, putting toys together the night before

christmas. and you know what, you got to throw alcohol in there, right? so you're sitting around with pals and the kids have gifts now -- i am just not your handyman, so you read the instructions, they make no blanking sense. it's like -- what? it's not supposed to go there and my wife gets mad at me and says can't you put this together? aren't you -- and i'm thinking, why is she mad at me? and my friend -- >> a man who knows how to do this, a real man would know how to do this. >> great memory. >> that is a commercial. >> that was a happy memory? >> it was a happy memory, even though it frustrates me, i remember it loud and clear. >> you got your butt chewed out. >> okay, fine. >> kg? >> my memories are a couple of them. one was getting ronan his first bike, a cool john deere bike and my doorman, very understanding to help me put it together. >> he was fantastic very handy. boom in one second.

very good and also the little train set that i got and carried all the way home from rock center, the little lionel train situation. that was nice, for me it was getting a convertible mercedes and nice diamond earrings. >> that's a christmas. my favorite christmas memory of all time was when i slammed the door on a bunch of carollers, it was the most gratifying experience. i don't believe in carolling. i don't think that people should be coming to your house uninvited and singing and i opened the door and there were people singing and i slammed the door and my mother and i laughed and laughed and laughed and then we drank. a lot of movies are up against "star wars" at the box office this christmas. which ones do "the five" plan to see? ♪ ♪

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♪ ♪ millions of americans are going to be piling into movie theaters this christmas weekend, and there are tons of films to pick from. apart from "star wars," there's "sisters" starring tina fey and

amy poehler. >> will you not drink tonight so i can let my freak vibe fly? >> i would love to. ♪ ♪ >> everyone start cleaning up the area where they're standing. >> oh! >> oh! >> oh my gosh. >> another option? "the big short" a new comedy drama starring brad pitt, ryan gosling and christian bale. or what about this? greg would love this? alvin and the chipmunks are back. are you going to see a movie, gregory or are you too hip for that? >> movies are great around the holidays, an excuse to get away from your relatives. it doesn't matter what movie you see. just get out. get out and hide. go make out in the back. >> oh! >> with? >> or get arrested.

that happens a lot around the holidays. people get arrested in movie theaters around the holidays. >> is that for real? >> yup. >> look it up. >> it happened to pee-wee herman. >> you're visiting your relatives. you got to get out of there. >> what about a serious movie, the one about football, "concussion." >> i don't want to see it. i have no interest. i mean i like will smith. just no interest in that story line right there. i want to say "hateful 8." everyone says quentin tarantino. i love his movies, don't like him, love his movies. >> and i like kurt russell's mustache. >> he was just here. >> i want to see "joy." >> you picked mine already. >> maybe we'll go together. >> i want to see that because it's based on a true story about a woman who was down in the dumps and she has a great invention and becomes a very successful businesswoman. and -- >> what's the invention?

>> the mop. the miracle mop. >> that's a bit sexist. >> have you ever used a mop? >> yes. >> i would see "sisters" -- >> you're really -- serious counseling, i think and medication. >> i don't understand what that means. >> neither do i. >> so not appropriate. >> i would see that i would see concussion, and i would see "in the heart of the sea". >> i bet the visuals are something in "the heat of the sea." what was that movie -- i can't remember -- >> ahem! let me clear the salami in my throat. my turn. i agree with that and i want to see "star wars," because everybody is telling me it's so amazing and it's going to breach $1 billion. >> $3 billion. >> will you go with your son? >> yeah, yeah. >> that would be hilarious if she goes and doesn't bring her son. >> and you have to stay home i'm going to see "star wars." >> one more thing is up next.

>> people wear costumes in there. did you know that?

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dana's corny joke of the day, i have three, are you ready? >> three? >> yeah. what does ho ho ho-bonk. santa claus laughing his head off. juan, thank you, juan. okay what happened to the man who shop-lifted a calendar at christmas? he got 12 months. okay. and final one, what did adam say on the day before christmas? >> something christmas eve. >> very good. that's so corny. you knew the answer. merry christmas, everyone. corny jokes and all. >> we're going to work on that. and whoa, greg? >> yes. this thing. you know, people often say that sometimes the box that the present comes in is more fun than the actual present. it's not important what you get, but what it comes in. take a look at these two young

chaps enjoying their gift. you notice they just discarded the toy, which was an inflatable banana and instead took great pleasure in the box. anyway. that's at some zoo. although i didn't read the rest of the information, so i have no idea what zoo it is. i would imagine it's somewhere on the planet earth. >> good guess, thank you. >> you worked hard on that one. >> there's a program that runs year-round with 100 million people traveling this year. it's something to check out. miami airport along with university of miami have a program called the miami center for autism and related disabilities. along with the miami international airport what it is is it's a mock travel day for people with autism. so if you have someone in your family who has autism, rather than just doing it live on the day of travel, can you go there a day or a week early or a month early and walk through it so that the people with the disabilities at least have experienced it once before they

do it live. >> that's fantastic. >> all right so you know i love the sky. for the first time, first time in 40 years it's going to be a full moon. >> you love the sky? >> i love the sky. i love looking up at the stars. this full moon will be on christmas day. the first full moon on christmas since 1977. and there's not going to be another one until 2034. the last full moon of the year and it's called the full cold moon. >> i have an thing, true love, there's a couple in let's see, a queens couple, byron garzon and nicole gomez. he's her boyfriend and he donated his kidney to her. they are getting married september 3rd, 2016 in the hudson valley. and -- what kind of christmas gift. a beautiful gift. wonderful. >> that was a good one.

and that is it for us, we want to give a special salute to our troops on this holiday. many are deployed right now and away for your families, thank you for your service and your sacrifice, we welcome to it west point holiday, i'm gretchen carlson. i'm on the military academy at west point, new york. tonight we will explore the rich history of west point, get a rare glimpse of the living traditions of the united states military and most of all get to enjoy the music of the army's oldest band. ♪ ♪ >> the west point band is one of america's finest military musical organizations. throughout the next hour, we're going to hear them on the fields, in the hall, and on stage as they perform for the public. ♪ giddy up, giddy up.