i know what you're thinking and yes, he owns a yacht. tv writer, producer and founder of ricochet.com. rob long. comedian and author of the upcoming memoir. you're better than me. and don't let his face fool you. he is very excited to be here.

it's tv's andy levy. let's start the slow with story number 1,000. did you ever see a paging think and, my kid could punch that? in august while visiting a museum in taiwan, a 12-year-old boy tripped and fell into a 17th century oil painting. the paging called flowers is valued at $1.5 million. the impact punctured a fist size hole in the canvas. the boy's family didn't have to pay for it because the painting is nshld. this isn't the first time this kid has destroyed a priceless work of art. take a look at what did he to vangogh's self-portrait. and the son of a man. he is dangerous around art. >> look what he did to it. is it possible that this boy is a renegade scholar? he was angry at the painting's late baroque emphasis on on that

religious? >> i love how you said that. a fat kid in shorts and a stupid t-shirt carrying a drink bumps into a piece of art and he is not american. he's from taiwan. it is not on us. >> we shouldn't let them in our museums. they're dangerous. >> isn't that the lesson we learned? >> also, we just can't have nice things. kids no, more field trips. no more sodas. you should be sitting at a desk all day. >> i think they should have put a little more security around the pagings. it their fault. >> here's what nobody is telling you. earlier that week before this happened, the kid's mom has seen the painting and said she really, really liked it. it is worth $1.5 million. after the kid fell and put his fist through it, a mysterious purchaser was able to get it for that ten taiwanise dollars.

>> what you don't see in the tape and i don't know why you didn't play it through to the end where gets beaten, yes, to a bloody pulp. >> it's terrible. >> i applaud them. that's the way you should treat these kids that are just going into, what is he doing in a museum any way? he's 12. >> and he has a drink in his hand. >> why was he allowed to have a drink? >> it's thirsty work, walking around a museum. >> i would love to see the paging kid and the clock kid get together. >> whoa! >> the clock kid built the clock and the -- >> see the difference? he was given a scholarship. this kid was beaten to a pulp. >> now for story 999. in july, jim gilmore formally joined the presidential race becoming the 17 republican candidate. the country immediately went

gaga for gilmore. take a look at the reaction to his announcement. [ cheers and applause ] >> however, the enthusiasm faded and he would eventually drop out of the race. >> he's still in the race. >> he is still in the race. >> yeah. he tweet during the debates like a real candidate. >> okay. moving right along to story 998. in june, an indiana school administrator told congress the children were kree aegt black markets to trade and sell salt. as a response to michelle obama's strict school lunch rules. the administrator. children have been caught bringing salt, pepper and sugar to school to add taste and some

flavor to perceived bland and tasteless cafeteria food. bonnie, this is the result of too much government. is it that? >> too much government in our food. get them out. listen, i don't think he should take all the salt out of food. if kids want to use salt, let them use it. i have very low blood pressure and the way to combat that is i have to have a salted margarita every night. that's how you combat low blood sugar. >> you should switch it to the morning. >> you have to be vigilant about it. >> that's also how you combat being married. >> it also helps. >> well, this is capitalism at work. >> absolutely. none of this should come as any surprise to anyone who understands how market works which explains why no one in government knew would it happen. it has gotten pretty bad.

it is being sold on the street. and there is a really pure strain called box white that they're very worried about. >> not even iodine. >> how widespread is it? >> i hope it is really widespread. that's what capitalism is. you want something. it is in short supply. this is a skillful a skill that could apply in life. >> just like the war on drugs. >> children disgust me. be grateful for delicious nutritious food. our children are too picky these days. there are some children who go to bed hungry every night. how does that make you feel, kids? eat your food. don't throw it away. >> they're not throwing it away. they're adding salt and sugar. >> they just want something

flavorful. >> you're a vegetarian, right? >> i cleat a little. i eat veal. yes. >> it's new years eve. let's check in quickly with fox news' jesse waters who is live in times square. jesse, are you there? >> this is my world right here. >> i don't know if he can hear me. next story. number 997. >> over the summer women in japan were flocking to see a really buff gorilla. i don't know. i've seen hunkier gorillas, myself. she became the star attraction at a zoo thanked to his chiselled physique and sultry gaze. the zoo's spokesperson explains, he often rests his chin on his hands and looks intently ought. he is more buff than most gorillas and is at his peak. women say he is very good

looking. let's see more of that video. ♪ >> i take it back. that is a good looking gorilla, right? >> the joke is on them because that gorilla is so clearly gay. >> wait a minute. >> he has two wives, that gorilla. >> he does. he has two wives and they say he takes really good care of his kids so get off that gorilla's back. >> cole porter was married. so was rock hudson. >> he's saying -- come on. >> he may be reproducing. but you never know his

preferences. >> rock hudson. you have to go back so far for a gay icon. >> there are other names could i mention. >> he reminds me of somebody. i can't put my finger on it. i did data guy, very similar. not as good looking. had the hairy back. i enjoyed it. i didn't mind it. i normally don't like a guy with hairy forearms. >> well, your husband -- >> he is completely shaven. >> interesting. got to go. still 996 stories left in our countdown. >> 2016, 2017, the four years as president will be phenomenal. tom, we'll be i know w so much. you'll be tired of winning. but you're going to keep winning. this is the one place we're not afraid to fail. some of these experiments may not work.

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you know, rand paul is such a tool, ben carson tried to use him to kill his mother. >> that's why women shouldn't go to college. >> during the commercial break we discussed a number of stories. now we are at -- wow! we had a lot of discussion in the break. in august at the first gop

debate, my favorite debate brett asked if known was unwilling to pledge support to the eventual nominee. take a look. >> is there anyone on stage, and can i see hands, who is unwilling tonight to pledge your support to the eventual nominee of the republican party? ♪ raise your hand ♪ raise your hands if you're sure ♪ >> trump would change his tune. in september he signed a loyal pledge and in the last debate committed to not running as anp. okay, rob, it's been quite a year for everyone, donald trump included. >> yeah. i think it has been one of his hugest years ever. i don't know if you can count on

the consistency of donald trump. it is entirely possible he will lose a few primaries and then say you know that stuff i said before? no longer operative. >> we keep counting him out. you remember when he insulted mccain. he vowed. then he made controversial statements about the border. he's out! >> he keeps coming back stronger but no one has voted yet. the vote is the important thing. no one knows how many votes he will get and the votes are what counts. if he doesn't win, he could choose to go independent. >> there's no glory in being the independent candidate. you don't win as an independent and he only wants to win. unless he truly hates the nominee. then he might just to spite them. >> but then he would be a villain. he doesn't want to be a villain. he wants to make america great. maybe trump will do away with that too. >> it is possible that he'll lose a couple primaries.

i have spoken to the trump campaign. they said it is not possible that he will lose any primaries. >> i didn't know that. i didn't have that information. >> what has it been? four years? >> the one thing that stuck with me from all of them is that jim webb killed a man. that's what i remember the most late at night when i'm lying in bed. >> and how did that -- he is the only democrat. the only one on both sides who -- >> no. hillary clinton. >> okay. >> he literally killed a man. she just paid somebody. >> yeah. >> it's different. >> bonnie, i know you probably don't agree with these conspiracy theories. >> i didn't know we were going to talk politics. >> we didn't tell you? >> i don't think it is trump that i want for the pledge, the loyalty pledge. it is his wife who is not from here. she has a funny accent. i don't know if it is german but

it could be. maybe the soviet union. i don't know what's going on there but i think she should be signing some documents. >> what does she have to pledge her loyalty to? she is married to donald trump. >> exactly. we don't know what she's capable of. >> joanne, these debates. i think they're a little overrated. >> they rate very well which is why we keep having them, yes. >> what i'm saying you is don't learn a lot about candidates. people say we want policy. >> you don't. but as soon as people start dropping out like flies, they'll get more talking time and then you'll learn more. >> all right. next story. we're flying down to number -- this year, boston dynamics created giant 6 for 2330 pounds robot namedate las. and it showed it running in the woods. it is abe to navigate uneven surfaces. by shifting its weight.

we were able to get some exclusive video of with it sound. >> oh, jeez, get me out of here! they told me it was a walk in the park. it's a freaking nightmare. what is this? poisonous ivy? oh, gee. cuts all over my calf. where's the freaking markets any way? all right, already. smooth path. i can walk like a normal human being on the surface important once in my life. >> does that robot remind you of anyone? >> yeah. that's exactly how i walk in high healed shoes. i don't know if he was studying me. >> maybe robots, this is the latest development in robot technology. maybe they can help women walk in heel. >> sure. okay. >> they're developing, it is going so fast. they're going to take over,

correct? >> it's a bad thing if they're all from dorchester. >> did you see the robot? there's a jean power cord. >> even if we all have robots, the power will be out in 30 minutes. it will be like starbucks. people will be charging their robot. the airline terminals, people will be looking to charge their robots. i'm not worried about them. >> i'm not scared of this. as soon as kit start doing cross fit, then i'm terrified. >> and you libertarians don't like robots. you think they'll take over, right? >> i like them and i think they'll take over. >> that's exactly how i walk in high heels. >> tell us about that on the break. >> time for a break. don't go anywhere. we have 729 stories to go. >> who do you think next will drop out of the race? >> i would have to say chris

christie. he has to drop out. i can't imagine him winning any race. i heard he had to drop out of a 5 k. he can't even do a special k. ok, we're here. here's dad. mom. the twins. aunt alice... you didn't tell me aunt alice was coming. of course. don't forget grandpa. can the test drive be over now? maybe just head back to the dealership? don't you want to meet my family? yep, totally. it's practically yours, but we still need your signature. the volkswagen sign then drive event. zero due at signing, zero down, zero deposit, and zero first months payment on a new jetta and other select models. i can't believe i got it. that's my boy. woah! look! test test and at banquet, we want to give you our best. that's why we're adding 20% more chicken to our chicken pot pies

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bonnie is cold right now and you can put a sweater on. >> in stead of fixing the sexist problem, he's saying put a sw t sweater on. >> look, bonnie, we kind of like you when you're chilly because you snuggle up next to us, right? >> i don't. >> you don't? you're not that type, right? but we like to keep you chilly. that's the way men like it. what's the problem with that? >> nipples. >> that's not an answer. that's really not an answer. >> i only have the one so it makes it more obvious.

>> andy. this formula was made in the 1960s when there were more men in the workplace. that's how they decided the formula on cooling buildings. maybe this isn't sexist after all. >> no. nothing that happened in the last century was sexist. i don't know why you would think it. one of the benefits of being single, i don't have this problem at home. my place is a thermostat down toilet seat up party. >> really? >> absolutely. >> that's the way it is. right, joanne? don't you like you can shop for sweaters and jackets? >> i like the cold. you want to know why, ladies? shivering, you burn calories. even though you're cold you will be looking good in a week. >> forget it -- >> i don't know, did the camera catch it when andy said 24/7, thermostat down, seat up, lifestyle? a single tear coming down?

i don't know if they saw that. >> those weren't tears of joy, rob. >> yeah. everything is going great. those were tears of joy. >> he's a bachelor, loves it. couldn't be better. >> andy, men are warmer than women. that's the way it should be. you've been saying that for like the last 20 minutes. >> i know. so what? >> yes, yes, we get it. >> i proved that. i'm afraid we have run out of time. i was worried this might happen. here's the west of the top 1,000 stories of 2015. here we go. ♪ >> boyfriend jeans. >> peyton manning. >> that is a dangerous story. got in the news. he knows how to work the media.

>> it was huge. >> how about melania? >> maybe it's good we didn't get to it. look at that. you remember that one? took over as host of redeye and then trump came back. it was a big year, right, rob? >> it was a very big year. i will go out on a limb and say next year will be even bigger. >> it will be big. that does it for me, tom shillue, happy 2016!

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because turning on the lights, isn't as simple as just flipping a switch. energy lives here. wearing diapers, which means they're probably in a sour mood. happy new year! happy new year's eve. i'm eric bolling along with can kimberly guilfoyle. juan williams, dana perino and greg gutfeld. this is "the five"! ♪ ♪ the new year 2016 is now just hours away. and we hope you'll be ringing it in with us right here tonight on the fox news channel. kimberly and i are co-hosting the new year's eve extravaganza in times square and we couldn't be more excited. please join us at 10:00 p.m. helping us get the party started at 9:00 p.m. eastern will be kennedy, jesse watters. on the