i am bill o'reilly. please remember that the spin stops here. we are definitely looking out for you. for watching. greg gutfeld show is next. i'm greg gutfeld with twice the electrolytes and half the carbs. turning the tide in their respective favors. yes, no, maybe. the answer is probably one of those three options. plus, is the world ready to pick james bond in favor of jane bond? and why must it be a woman any way or a human. i want a plant. james bond. a plant. and later jo anne and katherine in the valedictorian debate you never knew you wanted. a blood batting of history. let's get started america.

♪ ♪ let's welcome tonight's guest. he shaves with a hatchet and lathers with a can of ready whip. u.s. army special forces member, terry shaper. she thought frozen was a movie about -- our joanna. he's sharp and funny like a knife that tickles you while stabbing with u job writer and comedian paul otto. and she's the world's youngest cat lady. all right. let's tackle a news topic that no one seems to be paying any attention to. donald trump. [ laughter ] it's been an odd week in the

polls. clinton leads in some, trump leads in others. companies have come up with highly sophisticated election model to figure this out. let's take a look at the models now. this for trump. yeah, this is travis. he's obviously for clinton. i don't know why. and this is brad. he's undecided and a very good friend. meanwhile, moody's analytics, the company that correctly predicted every election since the 1980s including when zach and jees see ran for class president in "saved by the bell." a recent washington post poll has trump leading clin on the 46% to 44%. wow. they are applauding a statistic. that rarely happens here at fox.

that lead could grow, like a pretty flower maybe. a long awaited inspector general report released on wednesday says that clinton violated record keeping rules by using a private e-mail serve are for state business. my analysis, that can't be good. but trump's week wasn't all smooth sailing either. this week another flip-flop on climate change. the trump organization has applied for a permit to build a seawall to protect his golf course in ireland. protecting it from quote global warming and its effects. that's quite a departure from his public stance on global warming. >> so obama is talking about all of this with the global warming. a lot of sit a hoax. it's a hoax. a money making industry. it's a hoax, a lot of it. >> a lot of it. but not all of it. like the area around my golf course in ireland.

it's weird. it's weird how climate change targets only my golf courses in ireland owned by me. life is not fair. he's go to our golf correspondent harry karl. >> how many more of these do you have to do? careful. i don't want to get hit. oh my god. >> he deserved it. if you're going to do something shirtless, go to the gym. that us disgusting. you weren't just harry, you were harry karl. terry, military is out in force for trump by the polls. when you're looking at hillary and you're looking at donald, where are you coming down now? >> as we spoke earlier, greg,

listen, by the way, these polls, they're bs. i've never seen so many people get it so wrong so often in such a big way. whatever. that doesn't mean anything. here's the thing. my bar is so low right now to who could be -- i just want a president as a green beret, a president who doesn't dislike our country, doesn't treat us with disdain. i would like a president who doesn't sell uranium to the russians. other than that -- if you want to protect your golf course from global warming, okay. >> with that low bar i could be president. although, no way. i did sell uranium to the russians back in 1995. >> you're done. >> paul, i don't know where you sit politically, but what do you think trump needs to do at this point? he's got a lot of hard core fans but then a lot of people upset with him.

is there anything he should keep doing or just keep being trump? >> he should just amp it up more. whatever he's doing is working. be more cartoonish. nobody can touch him. nobody watched this matrix but when the agent started to infect the system and it breaks everything down. that's what he's doing. he's doing that to the whole thing and turning it inside out. >> and you know what? it's like -- now it's spreading to the democratic party. i'm looking at hillary, he's had a bad week. used to be there was no way trump was going to beat hillary and now it looks like she's fading fast. what's your thought in. >> just a month ago she was up 11 points and now it's a dead heat. some polls have him on top of her. gosh, did i just say that? >> before it he used to be behind her. >> i know! >> in the polls.

in the polls. >> in the polls. >> so no, no, no. it's a race to the bottom, as terry correctly pointed out. >> geez. >> it is. >> there is a bar downtown called that. >> both of their unfavorables are above the 50% threshold. this is really going to come down to who can be less unfavorable, you know. and this is different than most elections we've seen. i want to say really quick. you're giving me all kinds of shades of elliott stabler. svu. >> i appreciate it. >> that's a compliment. >> that was an unusual digression. maybe later we can ask the audience who i look like. i hope it's a human being. joann, this moody prediction is never wrong. could it be wrong this time? >> yes.

we know that they're unrealistic but we like to look at them anyway. >> that is true. >> we want to weigh the gauge, what's going on. it's been kind of nuts that political season. but i think we're seeing a lot of the game of would you rather. i often ask people, which i why i don't have friends, would you rather be mauled by a lion or bitten by a shark. the american voters are saying i would like to be mauled by a lion because i'll be entertained. i'll be at the circus. i'll be dying a happy death. >> lovely. now i'm think about you -- yeah, polls are a lot like fashion models. like to do a lot of cocaine. >> not this model. >> i'm not sure that makes sense. you hate hillary. >> yes. >> i gather you hate trump yes and i gather you're warming to trump, aren't you? >> he's just so funny.

i hate it but when he said that global warming hoax thing, he wasn't thinking about what he can say. he was like what can i say that would make the most hippies mad. it worked. he's not trying to get the hippy vote, he's trying to get the anti-hippy vote and i like that. >> every time i get a little angry with him, i see the people that are angrier with him and i don't like them. >> people see that and they laugh. you know when is the last time that anybody has made me laugh? i'm experiencing joy because he's speaking? i mean, i don't even really know anybody like that in my real life. no offense, everyone in my real life. >> don't worry. we expect that in you. want to talk about vps? all right. this week. roll that. dallas mavericks owner discussed joining hillary clinton on a presidential ticket. >> if she really did come to

you, would you listen? >> absolutely. but the key would be -- she would have to go more to center. i think, you know, i like the fact that snaernt clinton has thought out proposals but i think senator sanders has dragged her too far to the left. >> what about donald trump? zbli would be like okay, that's great, let's talk about it but we're going to have to both dig in and understand the issues so we can come up with solutions. >> he always reminds me of the rich kid at camp. is to recamp cuban would consider being clinton or trump's running mate. 34% of republican voters consider the vp candidate very important to their vote. 37% of democrats say the same and the remaining 29% say purple is fun. it is. purple is fun. it's a color. paul, does it matter? will it influence your vote? >> only if you pick somebody

crazy like that. that's the only time the vice president makes any difference is when it's really strange. would he stay on "shark tank"? >> that's a good question. >> he's the best part about "shark tank". >> i like mr. wonderful. >> they balance each other. >> it's something like the five with them yelling at strangers. >> zero things in common with the five. >> you have zero things in common with the five. >> sure. >> suggestions on vp choices for either candidate? >> no. i already told you that trump has to pick a ladsdy. look, this is my chick here, you know. and see, i'm not sexist. about hillary, i don't know. maybe somebody who you can stand looking at and listening to try to balance it out. i'm serious. >> cat makes a good choice. job votes for the second part of the ticket but it can help you.

that should be an opportunity especially for her, her unfavorables are through the roof, worse than trump. she's so unlikable. people somebody that they like, they want to see speak, that's not yelling and screeching at them. that could help her tremendously. i don't trump needs to do a lot of help himself with the vp pick. he could hurt himself. >> i would like to see a vp that doesn't believe in conspiracies. right? somebody who doesn't get an e-mail from a nigh jeerian prince and writes a $5,000 check. i want a vice president who doesn't think cruz was involved in the jfk killing. that autism is caused by vaccines. >> he said we should stop eating meat because -- >> i heard him say that too. >> whoa. that is not a conspiracy --

>> irish golf course right here. back off. >> becoming a vegan because you know robots will destroy you, that is not a conspiracy. that is going to happen. once artificial intelligence reaches a point where we're like farm animals, they look to us like we're the chickens. >> you got them going. >> once artificial intelligence looking at humans like chickens, they'll have know recourse but to destroy us. imagine you're in the room with artificial intelligence going please don't kill me. and the artificial intelligence will be, what did you have for lunch. i had the chicken. code red! >> tattoo man. i'm a tattoo man. i think it can hurt you. but think about the vice president that we've had, joe biden. i mean no disrespect to mr.

biden. but he hasn't really done a lot. >> no respect to him but -- >> hey, not for nothing. no disrespect. but no. barack obama picked joe biden because joe biden is an older white guy. even after joe biden insulted him. >> the smile. >> with a black dude. he picked him for that. >> backup white dude. >> that's what he was. everybody was criticizing obama with no experience, not having the relationship ons the hill and for better or worse, biden had those. >> you ask the dangerous guy to the prom but you have the safe one in the back. >> it's more of a shoe metaphor. it's like the shoes complete the outfit. it can make our break your outfit but generally people care more about what's on your back than your feet. >> you need a vp who likes a foot inside of him? >> i think the best vp for trump

would be paul ryan. you need -- you know how they fly planes? a wiser copilot. they always have the captain of the plane as the copilot just so they can yell. >> i think paul ryan has bad mojo from the romney thing. i don't like it. >> slow his roll. he's a little too grounded. >> we got to move on. up next, is the world ready for a female version of the world's most famous spy? probably. i haven't thought about it much frankly. first, summertime tips. watermelon, it's cool and refreshing, especially when you're sitting in it.

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would you be fond of a female bond? yes, daniel craig whoever that is reportedly giving up the role

of 007 open fans are already campaigning for who should take over the iconic character. since the #nextbond popped up on something called twit wer the most popular pan pick is actress jillian anderson. that's her there. it's bond, jane bond. thanks for all of the votes. thank you. other popular choices include great looking actors, henry cavill and my good friend lou dobbs. so some say lou is too old but i say he never gets old. would you mind a woman bond, mr. h he

heman? >> i just got yelled at. >> i'm the oldest man here. it's not the woman thing. james bond -- daniel craig was a physical james bond and he nailed it. if jillian anderson did the show, it would be a different show. >> you're saying she couldn't perform physically -- >> we need a female james bond. we need the good father making over good father 1, 2 and 3 with melissa mccarthys, goonies with all women. back with harry met sally. i will not rest until every role played by a man is played by a woman. >> can we do all -- >> i got to save myself. i'm not saying jillian anderson -- she's hot and great. >> she's hot so she's great?

>> that's 70% of being james bond. it's just being good-looking. >> also, he's a misogynist womanizing dude. i would be great if they made gillian anderson a lesbian who is a womanizer. >> they would have to be that. is it going to be totally reversed? >> i agree with you. i don't want to see gillian anderson or any woman as a james bond because i love the bond girl. you could be a lesbian, that's cool. >> martinis are more of the female drink. they're all throwing back martinis. but truthfully i don't think they need to cast a woman and i don't think it's sexist if they don't cast a woman. we already have a market for

that strong role. >> angelina jolie. >> jennifer in the hunger games. >> that's why i will not settle for less. >> maybe we should do an all dudes "mean girls." but it's the same problem with like ghost busters and the whole thing. here's an idea, make a new good movie. do something new that's good. >> articles like this are the same thing. when writers, bloggers are out of ideas, they take something and go what if they did it -- let's do an all woman what, all male "mystic pizza". >> wouldn't that be great? >> that would be so lame. it really would be. we're getting in a place in our society where we're frowning on having gender roles. we have. it makes me sad. maybe because i'm from the

south. i embrace it. there's nothing wrong with woman being woman and men being men. >> i would like to see an all male outnumbered. >> the o'reilly factor. >> you know what the thing is? we're stuck in this dual oply or male and female. caitlin jenner would like a great james bond, talk about athletic and topical. >> she won. >> he did. zble can't culturally appropriate his past. what about a little person bond? no? all right. i am the world's tallest little person. we've got lots of crud ahead. still to come, one school says

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among students. here to debate this topic are cat and joanne. joanne, do you support this decision in. >> of course i do, greg. because grades are arbitrary markers for growth and success. it's elitist crap. haven't they lurnd? it's time to recognize success as more than just a number. >> cat, isn't scholastic competition good for kids? >> yes. competing is how you win. winning is awesome. you got to teach kids that grades don't matter. if you don't, they end up being one of the art school dropouts spending their life working at stash bucks. sure i got terrible grades but i'm a well rounded vegan girl

and i can make a paper mache sculpture about my feeling. >> hey, a warning to someone -- according someone the title of valedictorian sets them up for a lifetime of pressure and stress. graduation will be the highlight of their life. it's all downhill from there. the need to success will likely lead to drug dependence, declining health and lots of gambling debt. very sad. >> not sad. good. consider this chart. as you can see, as you can see, over time valedictorians earn a lot more money which can be used to buy happiness. >> that's a great point. these are just charts. do you have any specific examples? >> of course i do.

being top of the class is a course. look at these former valedictoria valedictorians. this is jane, valedictorian in 2002. >> here is james, valedictorian in 2008. here's james now. ♪ and this one spokes for itself, yep, look at that woman on the left. she had lots of promise when she was valedictorian and just look at her now. >> very powerful. but it's time for closing statements. cat, what's yours? >> competition is a reality of life. class ranking is a competition and the kid at the top is the winner. the people who have a problem with it are losers. you know how i know this?

i was valedictorian. yep. that's me after i clawed my way to the top of the class. i beat out lots of other kids who were out to destroy me. it wasn't easy and that's the point. the best preparation for life they could have had. i learned what it take to win. >> i had no idea. >> i was actually one of ten valedictorians. >> wait, what? one of ten? okay. your whole argument is invalid. competition my foot. i'm over it. >> it was great. >> as always, there are no actual winners in these debates except the audience at home. thanks, ladies. coming up -- a sports caster dresses down his cocaine core on live tv but was he joking? we discuss in the first every 36-hour uninterpreted segment 36-hour uninterpreted segment and that's next.

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otezla. show more of you. is he a jerk or a joker? i speak of san francisco sports anchor gary rad nitch who an an on-air exchange with his coanchor last week. it's the subject of tonight's -- >> is this real? >> he was set to break the news that lebron james would star in space jam. his coanchor had read the story minutes early. >> we should tell you that lebron james is going to star in space jam. >> are you mad? i already read that. i'm sorry. >> how is steph curry's knee? >> he's nursing it and it's getting better. >> how long have we been

friends? 23 years. >> i didn't know you were going to do it. >> have you ever heard me say right before you came on there's an irrigation problem in gilroy. never. never heard me say it's warm weather today. never. i stay in my lane. and it's just -- to a friend -- >> it's amazing. now he claims that it was all a joke. later posting on facebook, quote, wow, i must be a good actor, all of this feedback from people who thought i was mad. please watch again. i'm playing. okay. we're going to do what you said, garry. he's watch the rest. >> it's hard for me to get mad. katherine has stayed at my mother's home, written my mother's note and stolen my material. so how do i get mad? how is curry's knee? >> improving. lebron was very good no "trainwreck." so this will be fun.

i shouldn't have brought it up. >> and michael starred in "space jam". >> hard to be mad at katherine. she's a good friend of my mom. there's a time you have to choose of the love of your mother and your mother's friend and the honor and dignity. >> if he was acting, he is marlon brando. >> she is too. >> that was -- >> that's genuine. >> is that real? >> i thought it wasn't. emmy is like it is. and i think watching with her, maybe it might be. >> i think it's real. i think you had to see the powers of be, that versions of the office. and it was like, what are you doing? you go back and tell everybody you're joking. joand, you're an actress. thoughts on whether this was acting or real? >> she was definitely acting. some of us pretend to be angry or upset and others pretend to

be happy correspondents who are pleased with their bosses and get along with everyone. you just pick your character. >> interesting. >> oh my gosh. that's why she's good. >> that was so real. i'm going to tell you how i know it's real. when you go into the personal narrative, when you bring up your momma, that is so real. sir, stop playing. that was real. she knew it. >> the look on her face was everything i needed to see, paul. what's your take on this? >> i've never seen that man before but he is drunk. so if that was a joke, that's like andy coffman. >> yeah. >> amazing if it was. but i don't think he hires that kind of talent. >> it's interesting with, kron, as though it's an alien force.

>> kron will not be happy with it. >> i like how he brings up, talking about in the video, people are more powerful than they are that work at kron. it was like to scare her. cat, analysis, please. >> i think he had a good strategy of saying it was a joke. it's a great strategy too if you realize you've done something or said something upsetting. of course i was joking, right? can't we take a joke anymore? he should have just brought up political correctness. this political correctness has made everyone mad. i was clearly joking. pc police are here. >> all these people just obsessed with sanity. >> you used to watch this guy. >> yeah. i think he was a basketball player, believe it or not.

they don't make them like they used to. my theory is it's real because he prefaced it with i'm going to stay it with a smile. that's saying that what you're about to say is going to be very, very angry and it's not like acting. because you wouldn't have said that if you were acting. >> this is totally real. i'm surprised at her reaction. i thought for sure it would be a little more of that, what's going on? am i being punked? let me pretend that everything is okay. but she was doing the eye rolls. there are issues there d. >> you know what it is? have you ever been in a situation where you overreacted and while you're overreacting, you know you're overreacting? i was at a baseball game and a guy kept taking ice cubes out of my cooler an-i slapped his hand. >> sorry about that. >> i instantly go, why are these ice cubes so important to me. and for the rest of the game i was ashamed by my own behavior. >> ie assuming wit as softball

game. >> years ago when you used to be able to duct tape vodka -- it was in college. you duct tape it to your legs and chest, you wear shirt and shorts, nobody knows you have booze. >> carry it in your pocket. >> they search you. >> they look for it. >> then you get a cooler of ice cubes and you drop the orange juice in there. also bags of vodka, nobody can see it. >> i can't be a part of this. >> that was back in the '90s. definitely not the '80s. >> i think garry that's the best work he's ever done. >> if he was an act, man, he

should win something that's better than anything in the theaters today. >> i appreciated. it was the most vulnerable i've seen a newscaster in a while. he was all deep in his feeling and i love it rks you should be on "the view." somebody does something really awful, somebody on "the view" says, i don't know. i thought what he did was beautiful. they wanted the house burned down. it was an eyesore. coming up, the washington redskins, should they change their name? our correspondent, jerry carbondale is here to comment. there he is. he's more agreeable than ever. stick around.

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time for stories you need to know because i said no. north carolina recently enacted transgender bathroom law which requires people to use public rest rooms that correspond with

their biological sex, not what they identify as. in recent weeks it's a national issue, partly because of the fact that high profile musicians have canceled shows in. a guy named bruce springsteen, pearl jam. so has this all gone too far or not far enough? joining me to discuss this is our agreeable correspondent jerry carbondale. jerry, how are you doing? >> great, greg. couldn't be better. >> really? even with the state of the world today? >> state of the world, we're in trouble and i feel bad for the future of our country. i'm concerned. >> but you seemed cheerful just minutes ago. >> i am greg. glad to be here. >> what do you think of this bathroom law? >> it's much ado about nothing. people should use the bathroom that they feel comfortable

using. >> what do you say to people who are afraid of men cruising into the women's bathroom dressed as women. >> it's sad that we do, but we need a law. >> but the federal government is trying to should they stay out of it? >> yeah. when i travel, i have enough to worry about. having different laws in every state, we node a federal law and now. look, i think i'm consistent on this issue. >> i don't think you have been. [ laughter ] okay, next topic. a new washington post poll found nine out of ten native americans don't consider the name washington redskins to be offensive. this has been a big deal for a while. a lot of people called for the nfl to change the name. is this controversy over? >> it is. the people have spoken. nine out of ten? that's a no-brainer. they should keep the name. >> but even if one in ten find it offensive, isn't that enough

to make a change if >> if one person is uncomfortable, i am too. maybe it's time for a name change. >> but some native americans support the name. so shouldn't you keep the name? >> it's history. are we going to do, erase history? >> it's face it, the word "redskins" an ugly word. >> it makes me sick. they should probably change the name. >> all right, amazon.com confirmed plans to open more physical bookstores. a good idea? >> more bookstores, more jobs, it's great. >> but wasn't the point of amazon so you don't have to leave your house if >> that's why i love amazon. >> but bookstores are a good place to meet people. bookstores are valuable in a

community for people to meet. >> they are great, greg. it's great to get out and meet people, get out of your house once in a while. >> should i buy amazon stock? this must mean they have to be a healthy company based on this. >> they are. have you seen their chart, greg? it's going up, up. i would rate it a buy. >> can't the stock go down at any time? >> what goes up must go down. hold on to your money, invest in precious metals. you need gold, silver, lead. you need bullets. >> what about copper, do you like copper? >> copper is good, too. love it. >> it's hard to find. >> and it's also hard to keep clean and polished. but i like it. >> all right. so you're pro-coper? >>ly, greg. >> you think you are for now. >> greg, i'm pretty consistent on those issues. [ laughter ] >> all right, jerry, as always, you are confusing.

>> thank you. >> time to take a break. lots more show to come. stick around. if you've gone to extremes to escape your nasal allergies.

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we're almost out of time. so -- over to you. >> it's memorial day weekend. have fun. have a nice cookout, but remember we have lost guys and girls in the war. this is one of my good friends, tim, he got killed in afghanistan. the war ain't over. but have fun, because we do have fun. >> in fact, if you're not having fun, the terrorists have won. >> if you're not having fun, they win and i will come find you. and you're welcome for your freedom. i think we would like to bring up a photo of chris maloney who plays a detective. [ applause ] >> i never noticed it before.

but there is definitely a resemblance. >> i don't like him. ebony? >> i've got nothing. >> thank you for my freedom, first of all. and also i would like to stay in my lane. i really do. i watched the whole thing twice and i got his message loud and clear. i intend to stay in my lane this weekend. >> paul? >> thank you for having me. happy memorial day to everyone. it's my fiance and i's anniversary. [ applause ] my debut album is coming out june 5th. and i have a book too, so it will be

♪ [ horse whinnies ] ♪