tv The Greg Gutfeld Show FOX News July 2, 2016 10:00pm-11:01pm PDT
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>> she's so bright, the planets have begun to orbit her. and he's so suave, i want to shampoo with with him. nice tie. i'm just going to ut bunbutton lower button. and like a round head nail, she's always getting hammered. and he should work in the e.r. because he leaves everyone in stitches, andrew schultz. terrible, terrible. and she's our goddess of gloom, our princess of pessimism, maiden of misery, "national view
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reporter kat kemp. here we are again talking terror. it seems that's all we talk about, not the weather, the kids or my new workout. it's terror more than ever. by the way, it's ramadan, a time it's's terror more than ever. by the way, it's ramadan. at least with lent, the devoted tried not to do bad things. i'm thinking terror is not a persuasive to win us over. now turkey believes isis was behind istanbul.
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>> islamophobia is a shield. a 13-year-old american girl was just stabbed to death on the west bank, a stabbing of a young girl on the west bank by a guy named muhammed. i don't think you can blame this on the nra. samantha power says you can blame isis on obama. obama is blending the benign with the barbaric. just say radical islam, just once.
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please, i'm buy you an adorable corgi. you need something to make you smile. but what if we compromise? start saying radical islam but then add, "not that there's anything wrong can it." it could work. meanwhile the president's bummed. he was about to save the earth at a climate change summit and terror interrupted him again. pe distraction from the real work at hand. climate change is obama's flight from facing true evil. but at least they got the handshake right. they're like a clumsy menudo.
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they can't even shake hands yet we're left shaking our heads. >> period. >> jillian, is it getting worse or does it seem like it's getting worse because we're covering it more? i'm not sure. >> i'm not sure of the answer to that question either but i've been talking to friends about that very question in the intelligence community. it definitely feels like things are escalating, that there's more instances of large-scale terror attacks that are very public. not just because the press is covering the attacks by the way, but because they're done in public, in these very soft target-like places, airports, cafes, things of that kind of nature that have been going on in certain parts of the world like israel and now are kind of spreading. >> israel being used to it knew how and know how to harden soft
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targets and have accepted the logic and mentality of doing that. you are no longer shocked if you go to a bakery and there's a dude with a gun baker. is it time for us to start accepting -- >> we're getting an appetite for it. >> i have an appetite for it all the time. >> think about how disgusted people were with having to take their shoes off. we want more security but we don't want it for long. the bottom line is it is getting worse, there's more concern over the rise of a new generation of jihadists in new places, including bangladesh. this is a real problem. to your point earlier, it's insanely frustrating to president obama because it has hijacked his term, both terms,
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it and it's not what he wanted to be remembered for. >> he wanted to slow the rising tides of the ocean. >> i'm one of the few people who didn't mind taking off shoes because i have a foot fetish. >> you want to know who has some great feet? >> who? >> jill nosuchinsky. >> you have to go to the web for hours looking for pictures, i just go to the airport. it's free. i think security enhances freedom. am i crazy? >> no. i think we got too much freedom. >> why? >> we don't need it all. take it all away. look at my cell phone, look at my e-mails, me and a few friends
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sharing netflix, boo, boo. i think this freedom thing is overrated. >> i think it enhances freedom. if you can pick between two venues, one that is secure and one that is not and you're taking your family, you'll go to the secure one. >> i don't want my family looking at what's on my phone. i don't want anybody to see what's on my phone. that's my nightmare. if i had a choice of dying or having my icloud published, i'd rather die. >> tease on you. >> i brought my laptop to the help desk and then i changed my mind because i had not cleared my history. >> we have shaming society. >> i shame you for wearing shoes. >> let's get back to terror and
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away from feet. that was on me. >> i think this administration might be focusing on the wrong problem. we heard kerry saying isis is getting desperate. i understand that their goal is to have a state and they aren't really acquiring that land so maybe their goals aren't really happening. however, the idea of islamism that they really preach, lone wolves, wanting to get the soft targets, they're gaining ground in the ideological way. >> these are cuckoo banana people who are such losers who had such a hard time making friends that they had to join isis to make friends. they're not cool, they're not master minds, they suck. >> that's true. i joined the speech team. >> you've been wanting to say
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something. i'm watching you squirm so don't blow it. >> first of all, i don't know where to go with what kat just said. >> you have to identify that these people are losers. anybody who believes that they're going to kill themselves now and that they're doing a favor to gay people -- >> but they don't think they're losers. >> the administration wants to make this point all the time. they're not muslims, they're not representing islam. it's not the administration's place to tell these people because the folks who carried out the ataturk airport bombing and in paris, they believe they're on the true path. >> and they love it, too. >> and can we say something that everyone is afraid to say. if that orlando gay club was in any country in the middle east, it's shot up the day it opened. so let's stop acting like it's radical islam. it's the obvious. >> key conflate all the peaceful
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people with the angry, murderous people because we're afraid to say that. last word, jillian. >> i would say that it's important, a, to label these terrorists, i prefer to use the term radical islam. and it's important to take care to distinguish them from the general population of islam. they've been very clear about labeling us, who we are, westerners, americans as the enemy and it's very hard to as a government come up with a strategy to degrade and defeat them if we can't as a first step label them. >> if you're a gay dude, isn't everybody there a radical islamist? if you can be killed for being gay in any of those countries -- >> that's not fair to saying any of those countries. first of all, what countries? but government policies -- >> in bangladesh before the attack at the bakery that's been
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unfolding, it was an attack on a gay rights activist and his partner. they were just macheted to death. but we're the ones that get labelled intolerant. >> it's very interesting. i find the left defending it. >> it's what happens when identity politics wins over common sense. now you say i can't defend anybody, including people who want to kill me. i have to wrap this up. coming up, i bench press mike baker over a vat of hot oil. it's true. but first, loretta lynch beats bill clinton on a plane. i guess it beats a motel 6. aw, booing.
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why are the easy questions so hard to answer? attorney general loretta lynch gave a head-splitting interview at the aspen ideas festival on friday when she was asked about that 30-minute tarmac tryst with bill clinton at the phoenix airport. jonathan capehart, love that name, started off with a simple question. >> what on earth were you thinking? >> that was about the meeting. kick back, folks. this answer's going to take awhile. >> well, i think that's the
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question of the day, isn't it? >> yes. >> and i think that's a perfectly reasonable question. i think that's a question that is called by what happened in phoenix because people have also wondered and raised questions about my role in the ultimate resolution of matters involving the investigation into the state department e-mails. >> all right. i did all my online christmas shopping during that sound bite. has she answered yet? >> to the extent that people have questions about that, about my role in that, certainly my meeting with him raises questions and concerns and so believe me, i completely get that question. >> it's working. i forget what the question was. mario andretti didn't spin his wheel that much. even my cat's calling b.s. on her. >> i think it is the question of the day. the issue is, again, what is my role in how that matter is going to be resolved. so let me be clear. >> okay. so that non-answer goes on for
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awhile longer. just enough to scramble our brains. then lynch drops this gem about how she will handle the fbi decision on the clinton e-mail investigation. >> i fully expect to accept their recommendation. >> she fully expects to accept their findings. got to hand it to her. that's some good lawyer yak. andrew, did you follow any of that? >> she wasn't jumping in the lake like that corgi. she wanted out of there. i have no clue what's going on but i don't blame bill for doing it. >> you don't? >> i would have done the same thing. you're looking out for yours. >> if you got a kid who's not being played enough on a team, you go over and harass the coach. >> absolutely. i agree. i think you do it, you make sure you bring a cinnamon bun or whatever. >> my other theory is he just thought it was a lazy mile high club. >> he learned a few years ago that you go in there, you mess up and then everyone's going to
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blame the chick anyway. >> true. that's exactly what happened. what if she didn't know? >> look, this is unacceptable either way. either they were talking about shady things or she just really wanted to hear about his golfing that bad that she was willing to go through all this. she's got to really love her some billy to hear about his golfing that bad. i have loved before. i have never been willing to listen to hear someone talk about their golfing. i cut that off immediately. >> they also wanted to talk about the grandkids. >> or the grandkids. >> you were probably somebody's grandkid. >> yeah, but i'm all right. you know? i'm not really worth talking about. >> that was sad and somber. mike, she said grandkids. could that be code for please don't prosecute hillary? >> yeah, yeah, what that means is when you say the grandkids you mean the back end deal you're cutting. look, it was charming that they tried to portray this initially before they really got out that
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it had been a happenstance encounter. like she was in seat 17a and he was moving back down the aisle and said are you going to use that pillow. so but you know, the reality is, the a.g. moves with a very large security detail, staff, handlers, as does the former president. and there's also the minor inconvenience of a logistics of private jet travel in terms of flight plan and all the rest of it. so this thing, this was a large machine that was operating and allowing this to take place. the fact that we wanted to keep it quiet, didn't want to take pictures, i don't care. i don't believe that loretta lynch would do anything nefarious. she's a good person. it's the dumbest move of the year. >> maybe it's the smartest move, because they wanted to get loretta lynch in trouble so she recuses herself, therefore, they have another ten months to find a special prosecutor and they get out of it.
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>> are we really that smart? >> i'm not. >> is the administration really that smart? >> bill is. >> this tells me two things. the first is that private planes are not good. >> no. >> because i have never flown in one but i'm just assuming now, only bad things happen on private planes. second, what difference does it make? the president has already endorsed hillary clinton so regardless of the findings of an investigation, we know that she has the favor of the administration. >> you could get a private plane and someone just shows up on it? >> yes. it's crazy. >> if you welcome someone on your private plane and you actually want to talk about golf and grandkids, you love them that much, you are too impartial to be here. sorry. >> i'm confused. he ordered a plane. >> he boarded the plane. >> they were both on separate private jets. the tarmac in pho. >> he pulled up like -- >> right. >> that makes more sense.
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i thought he had a private plane and all of a sudden she was double-booked. >> his plane pulls up, he looks out the window, he goes is that -- >> like dead man's curve. billy compton rolled his -- gillian, i'm going nowhere with that. does this stink? what do you think? >> it does. look, i'm as bipartisan as anyone. i haven't endorsed anyone in this election. >> do it, do it, do it! >> but this, what i have to say about this is a, when i first read about it, i thought hm, strange. i read about this chance encounter and all of these things, fly by the night kind of -- it was half an hour. people say well, you know, it's very difficult for her as the attorney general to not accept a visit by a former president of the united states but you know what? she's the head of the justice department. she's the head of the fbi. >> nobody, even democrats think
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it's crazy. think they met on like a plane tinder when you're at the airport just looking? >> for elitist people. >> i really do think he went in there beforehand to kind of smooth things over and he thought he was doing his wife a favor. like she's going to be so happy that she's not going to punch me when i get home. >> i'm getting [ bleep ] tonight. >> i don't think she'll say that. >> she gets the importance of optics in washington. she gets the importance of doing the right thing, saying the right thing. why she allowed the slip-up, i'm more disappointed in her. >> by the way, when did this happen? >> that's a good question. >> beginning of the week. >> maybe they were talking about "game of thrones." that was an excellent season finale. maybe none of the people in security detail watched it because they were being security
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guards. >> this campaign should be a cakewalk for her. if you look at the electoral map, have you all this blue and a little red. like papa smurf with a head wound. she's just handing this stuff to trump. got nothing to talk about? here, talk about this. look how corrupt i am. she starts calling herself crooked hillary, he wins. >> it was right in the aftermath of having her second grandbaby. >> yeah. she could have milked that baby. >> well, not really. >> i'm sick of hearing about grandkids. >> grandkids are great. you will have some one of these days. >> absolutely not. >> you will make them out of self and sand. and in your little house where they keep you chained, you will have your little grandkids and you will play with them every day. all right. that's how kat lives. >> ayou're not wrong. >> who would win in a fight to the death? andrew schultz or a starving raccoon? plus the debate no one asked
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it makes life on the road much easier. little miss muffet sat on eating her curds and whey. along came a burglar who broke into her home and ransacked the place making off with several valuable tuffets. fortunately geico had recently helped her with homeowners insurance. she got full replacement on her tuffets. the burglar was later captured when he was spotted with whey on his face. call geico and see how much you could save on homeowners insurance. is it okay to cry? if you're a guy? or is it creepy when you're weepy? there was lots to talk about men crying last week when lebron james let the tears flow after winning something called the nba championship. according to a new survey, 60%
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of americans think it's yucky for a man to cry in public. yucky. that number is cut in half for women with 8% of americans saying it is unacceptable for a female to cry in public. within the same survey, 20% of men admitted to crying in the past week. the remaining 80% beat the crap out of them and took their lunch money. all right. i will go to you first, baker, because you were with the cia. are you tough enough to cry? when was the last time you cried? >> my dad's funeral. yeah. yeah. thank you. >> god, greg. >> play the corgi. >> this show, that's what's so great about this show. it's an honest show. >> that's a good answer. you should have cried. >> what else am i supposed to say? if you win the nba championship or at a funeral for immediate family that you really like, or a close buddy, or your daughter's wedding, that's it. those things. that's it. otherwise, keep it at home.
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>> what if somebody you really like dies at your daughter's wedding? you can cry twice as much. are you a crier? i don't see you crying. >> i do cry. i cry at movies. i saw "finding nemo" and that was a tear jerker. >> it was. >> he was gimpy. >> yes, he was. >> i don't believe you are allowed to give into the cry as a man. that make sense? you can fight a cry. >> you are supposed to. >> you can't just and then -- >> that's called ugly cry. >> you can't ugly cry. you have to stare into the light and let the tear drop down. like what lebron did, i only forgive him because he won a championship for a third world country. if you didn't win -- cleveland. okay. >> it went by me. >> outside of that, i think there's no reason to cry. especially in america. we got it pretty good. >> what's to cry about other than loss and painful heart ache? >> i'm really surprised to hear
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this from these american gentlemen. i thought the american people were like totally desensitized to man crying after having john boehner as speaker of the house. i'm very surprised we -- >> a weepy tangerine. >> i was really surprised at those results. i'm not into a man that cries unless it's like over me because that's hot. but like i don't even like crying in public. when i'm at home like all bets are off. i will cry if i can't find the apple tv remote. no problem. but you got to have people respect you. >> yeah. >> no. i like crying in public. on public transportation? that's like the one place you can. >> that is so true. >> no one will say anything. it's like nobody cares. >> that's woman privilege right there. >> on the subway there are two things you can't do. one is cry public and furiously masturbate. i learned both the hard way. >> or cry while you're
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masturbating. >> air not supposyou're not supn the workplace, especially women. that's a mistake. what else are you supposed to do with the rage? i don't know. generalizing it to all women, i don't cry when i'm sad necessarily. i cry when i'm enraged. if men would sometimes do that it would be a great outlet. for example, rather than punch somebody in the face, sometimes at the office -- >> have you ever punched somebody in the face? >> i'm telling you, crying is cathartic. >> they start crying, it's double. >> it's all part of the wussification of the american male. >> the example they use in this article is an exception. lebron james. they say oh, this guy cried. yes, he's an nba champion. you are going to tell him not to cry? like they didn't have any other
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examples they could use. >> men didn't want to come forward because we shamed men into thinking that they can't. >> well, no. i think it's the opposite. what they do is this. they say they want us to be open with our emotions. >> and they don't. >> but they only want us to be open with our emotions after they love us because they know no other woman will then love us. >> strategy. >> that's why they're like hey, put on this shirt, nobody's going to sleep with you. that's what they do. >> my wife dresses me. >> exactly. >> pretty good. all right. that saved me a lot of grief. all right. coming up, we are just minutes away from the debate to end all debates. eat your heart out, lincoln douglass.
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is a hot dog a switch? it's a question that has plagued the nation since its founding over 1,000 years ago. the miriam webster dictionary says yes, it is. on the other hand, the national hot dog and sausage council, the only council that matters, in my opinion, says a hot dog is not a sandwich because it's truly a category unto its own. here to debate this special july 4th topic are two experts in the field of encased meat. kat and joanne. joanne, to you first. it's in the dictionary.
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>> who are miriam and webster to decide? it should be up to the hot dog council to determine a hot dog's identity. they conduct scientific research that benefits hot dog manufacturers and consumers. so going against their wishes by calling it a sandwich could ruin the entire industry. and that would make you a frankophobe and i want no part of your hatred. >> i don't hate. i respect the traditional definition of sandwich that are in the bible. >> there are bible references of sandwiches? >> bible's the name of my dictionary. i love words. oh, sorry. yeah. two or more slices of bread or a split roll having a filling in between. hot dog meet that criteria, this debate is over. i win. >> not so fast. the bun is simply an accessory because if you take the bun away from the hot dog, you still have a hot dog.
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>> yeah. exactly. a hot dog is nothing by itself but thun elevates it to sandwich-dom. >> i'm not sure but she might have a point here. >> think of it this way. we have all heard of dollar dog night. every baseball stadium has one. ever hear of dollar sandwich night? of course not. because the economy can't support it. neither can our stomachs. you have never seen the champion hot dog eater joey chestnut downing 62 sandwiches in one sitting, have you? no, because it's impossible. >> your response? >> joanne, that kind of elitist talk keeps hot dogs from achieving true sandwich equality. which is why i have designed the pyramid of sandwich acceptance. the great earl of sandwich invented them to make foods more portable. now we have all types of things that fall under this encompassing banner. cheesesteaks, giros, bagels, all
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sandwiches. greg, i suggest you get on the right side of history here. hot dogs are sandwiches, too. get on board now. >> i don't know. you get the last word, joanne. >> she's in dangerous territory. making hot dogs synonymous with sandwiches would ruin our great american icons. consider dirty harry. >> you know what makes me really sick to my sandwich? watching you stuff your face with those hot dogs. nobody, i mean nobody puts catsup on a hot dog. >> here's that same scene if hot dogs were sandwiches. >> you know what makes me really sick to my stomach? watching you stuff your face with those sandwiches. nobody, i mean nobody puts catsup on a sandwich. >> see? doesn't work. in closing, i would like to say that no man has ever told me to go into the kitchen and make hem a hot dog. therefore, hot dogs not
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sandwiches. >> time to pick a winner. i brought in the expert, joey chestnut. you know him as the world's hot dog eating champion. eight times nathan's hot dog eating champion. so what do you think? is a hot dog a sandwich? >> greg, a hot dog is its own entity. nothing more. nothing less. >> wow. you stole that from confucius or yoda. either way. sounds pretty important and intelligent. that settles it. a hot dog is not a sandwich. sorry, kat. all right. time to take a break. you can see joey chestnut this monday july 4th in the nathan's hot dog eating contest 3:00 p.m. eastern on espn. that's a network. stick around.
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livestock auctioneers were the world's first rappers. first, a look at livestock auctioneering in action. [ auctioneer calling ] >> pretty amazing. here's one with a beat behind him. [ auctioneer calling ] >> that clip is from the geniuses behind a vine account called auctioneer beats. not entirely my theory. i stole it. [ auctioneer calling ] the videos are so catchy. they're like picking up drifters. i can't stop. once you start, that is.
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try one more. [ auctioneer calling ] why is this person not -- isn't on billboard's number one chart? i'm never going to stop watching these videos. one more. [ auctioneer calling ] if they don't win a grammy next year, i will do absolutely nothing about it because i'm lazy, but they should. andrew, did we just see the creation of a new genre? >> absolutely not. but the hand motions is what makes it. without the hand motions it's weird. but the second the old man starts going -- that's it. i want it. >> i don't know, man. i got to say that this is like, we have been ignoring these guys. they have been practicing this
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art in obscurity. they are actually better than anybody with the english language. >> it's astounding. i had not been ignoring them. i go to livestock options. did i mention i was in idaho? so -- >> you're doing it. >> i go to livestock auctions and it is fantastic even without the beats. i will take a radio next time. >> do people know why you are at the livestock auction? >> buy livestock. yeah. >> what do you -- let's move on. >> i think we should stick with that. i want to know where you put it. >> all right. where you put what? >> we don't need to follow through. >> whatever he does with his livestock is his business. gillian, we have had a lot of revolutions in music, punk, hip-hop, electronica. isn't it time for something new? >> they are already famous in the u.k. i don't know why you guys never
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heard of them. >> they are always famous first in the u.k. like that american band, the beatles. i love them. kat? >> it was fun. >> yeah? >> i don't know, like i think being a livestock auctioneer, probably kind of fun. i could see myself doing that, maybe. >> you could see yourself doing anything without actually trying. like actually going to learn how to do it. >> well, i'm a star. so why can i not be an auctioneer star? >> i'm going to show you another one. >> okay. [ auctioneer calling ] >> joanne? so you're in a club, right, you see that, are you going backstage and are you ever going to leave? >> no. it's amazing because the two worlds are really the same. you know the first auction sold
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women. and the hip-hop world, super mysogenistic. it's like the same thing. >> since when did the first auction sell women? >> mike would like to know if he can buy a woman. terrible. >> i draw the line at that one. no. no. >> you mean to tell me rap music is mysogenistic? >> some say. >> it's evolving. it's less mysogenistic than it used to be. >> there are mysogenistic rappers and rappers that are not mysogenistic. >> there are mysogenistic cooking shows and ones that are not. >> that is true. bake me a cake or i will punch you in the face. that's a terrible show. i don't watch it anymore. >> you guys should be on that show. >> i've had enough of this. don't go anywhere. unless you're watching this from my living room. in that case, please leave. you are trespassing. final thoughts next. what's it like to be in good hands?
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hey, we're almost out of time, so -- >> what you wanted to say all show but haven't had the chance to say so here's your chance to say it. right now. >> pretty long title but worth every penny. it's free. final thought? >> so i don't want to go all serious on you, but a lot of people have been tweeting me the last couple days asking me about this terrorist attack in turkey this week, like why this happened in turkey, why this happened now. a lot of people seem to be really surprised about it. i thought i would just take a second to address that. i have been thinking about it, that i could give a good answer. what i decided is that there's really three reasons why turkey and why now. the first is that the turkish government has been really active in the anti-isis coalition, is probably bombing isis outposts right now as we speak in syria taking up their
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positions there. the second one is because it was a reaction to turkey's rapprochement with israel this week. and then the third reason is that really, people are surprised because turkey is a predominantly muslim country but as we talked about earlier today, isis and these psychopathic organizations really don't care about that. >> they will kill muslims too. >> they are very happy to kill muslims who don't ascribe to their perverted brand of islam. there's the answer for folks who have been tweeting me about this. >> that was quite sophisticated. >> i got to follow up. i was just in washington, d.c. at arlington cemetery. if you haven't been there, it is the best thing you can do with your kids to show them what this country is built on. the sacrifice and the lives. otherwise, everybody have a one fu wonderful fourth of july. >> you don't have to refrigerate mayonnaise. you don't. unless it has been contaminated
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by a utensil or food particles. if you have a squeeze bottle, you can leave it out. >> wow. buy that answer? >> i don't believe that for one minute. >> will that be your final thought? >> you could leave out mayo? what if it's got tuna in it? >> that's youthought. what if it's got tuna in it. kat? >> so i lost my apple tv remote and at first, i was really mad at myself but then i realized it's too small for the average consumer. i called and they said i can't turn it back on without the remote. i think it's a scam. there needs to be a bigger remote. we should not stand for this anymore. larger remotes. i have all these people on my side. apple, that shows you to tell me to get the remote app installed before i lost the remote. i don't have a time machine. >> all right. that was fun. thanks to gillian, mike, andrew, joey, joanne, catherine and the
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studio audience. i'm greg gutfeld. i love you, america. >> the fbi introduce hillary clinton behind closed doors just weeks before she will be the democratic nominee for president p. this is the fox report. good evening. >> clinton voluntarily traveling to fbi headquarters in washington for hours of questioning. investigators are digging deeper in her use of a private e-mail server during her time as secretary of state. did that put classified information at risk? the fbi interviewed former aides for clinton and the investigation cast a shadow over her campaign by
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