"justice" at 9:00 p.m. you will get a dose of "street justice" too. the greg gutfeld show is next. good night. see you in 24 hours. actually, 23. i'm greg gutfeld. now in easy to swallow caplets. here's what's coming up. donald trump or hillary clinton, who won the week? i say i got a really sweet haircut and can bench press 400. both parties a mess. do the third party candidates have a fighting chance? i will ask gary johnson. he might know somebody. while other colleges baby their students, one college is showing them how to become an adult. maybe i can still enroll. let's get started, america.

enough. enough of your pathetic applause. let's welcome tonight's guests. he's so bright you can use him as a reading light. the co-founder of the federalist. i read that daily. she refers to smear as your daily cheer. katherine, boo, boo. he's smart, handsome and well traveled but enough about me. here's the un-godly rick renell, former advisor to four ambassadors to the u.n., fox contributor and he's going to hell. according to some countries. like a gallon of rage she kills every time. writer and comedian and activist, i don't know why i said that, bonnie. activist. all right. this past week was a ping-pong of wrong.

one day it's hillary screwing up, the next it's trump. it's like watching two foreign guys play frisbee. oh. people from other countries. or two cats playing patty-cake. or a lion trying to eat a baby. we couldn't show you the rest. first item, hillary speaks near orlando, florida, but guess who's behind her? who's that goofball in the red hat?

oh, wow. it ain't super mario. although the resemblance is uncanny. no, it's terror dad. a stone's throw from hillary. when you're pro taliban like he is, a stone's throw, it could be tempting. if they throw stones at women which is wrong. i don't advocate doing that.tha. why was this creep there and so close to hillary? i don't think he writes for pantsuits monthly. no, he was there to reflect the diversity of support, meaning he fit a profile so the campaign put him right behind her. once again in the name of symbolic tolerance we scrap security. anyone can slip through, even a pro-taliban crackpot. now trump could have won the week on that alone had he just shut up. but instead, he says things. >> hillary wants to abolish, essentially abolish the second amendment.

by the way, if she gets to pi pick -- if she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. although the second amendment people, maybe there is, i don't know. >> i know, i know, he didn't mean what he said. but that's not the point. it's that you have to keep explaining what he said. it's exhausting after awhile. i like donald but he's like that pet who keeps breaking stuff. >> oh, [ bleep ]! >> i'm not going to keep cleaning up after him every single time. but there are times i admit he's hilarious. >> go home to mom. go momhome to mom and your moth is voting for trump. she's voting for trump. >> it's true.

he's got their mothers. but then he calls obama the founder of isis. when he could have said something else, like obama's foreign policy helped birth and spread isis. same thing. but not as bad, but he didn't. still, let's remember that as absurd as this claim is, his critics say he's a threat on-toe universe. maybe he's playing their game, stealing the left wing's knack for exaggeration. it's entertaining as hell but is it working? the polls say no. it's a bummer because there once was a message to be made, not just america first, but we are americans first and our security maintains our success, promotes unity and saves lives. but that big vision has been lost. in 2016, there's never a need to shoot the messenger. the messenger shoots himself. >> period. >> thank you. thank you. bonnie, thank you. thank you for your applause.

>> yeah. i always applaud. >> you do. >> can i just say this? what a fantastic diverse audience you have. they clearly -- >> you are going for the easy win. >> they have clearly all come from retired from different jobs but the same socioeconomic background. i love it. you are speaking to such a huge group of people. >> i just love it when a guest comes on and insults the audience. >> i enjoy the challenge. >> you have a challenge tonight because now we're coming after you. >> that's why i said that. >> you invite somebody to a cocktail party, the first thing they do is insult all your other guests. >> i said i like that. i love white people. >> well, we have a white sofa. maybe you can defecate on that, young lady, because you are defecating on my show. i'm going to talk to your husband later. i even had a question for you.

now i don't remember. >> is it about trump? >> yes. it's about trump. >> i think you're asking me because i'm an expert on joking. i know when to do it and how to do it. >> except here. >> well, trump is a -- he's a racist and he's sexist and he's a tyrant which is why this, you know, comes as such a shock that he would incite violence on someone. i can hardly believe it myself. >> well, rick, respond to her opinions which are obviously ill-founded. >> there are so many i don't even know where to begin. look, i think the fact is that donald trump speaks like a non-politician like we always want. >> yeah!

>> and i do think there's an argument to be made right now that the political establishment in washington, including the political journalists, including all the people who evaluate politics, are absolutely panicking about somebody who is not playing their game. because of that, i think there's a lot of value and tolerant liberals should not look at the situation and immediately say racist, homophobe, you know. >> i never said homophobe. i think he's down with the gays. >> he is down with the gays. he's the best gop nominee the gays have ever had. >> i don't believe he's racist. he just says things that sound racist. aren't we all like that? we always say things that sound racist. >> i want to make one thing clear. >> i'm proud to be white. >> like that. >> why? >> i'm not defending everything

that donald trump has ever said. that's not my point. i think there's a lot of value, though, in breaking washington. because washington is not working. >> okay. ben, i don't want washington to work at all. so -- i don't want trump to make it great again. i want it to be incompetent. i want nothing to happen. >> first aftoff, gridlock is a wonderful thing. jesse helms said every day these buildings are closed the republic grows stronger. i think that's true. this week, i'm not someone that would typically come on and defend donald trump but i saw the most asinine media coverage of him this week, especially on this founders of isis line which he actually explained, he goes on the radio and actually explained exactly what he was doing. hewitt said why don't you just say essentially the line you were saying. he said if i say that, nobody reports about it.

they get to ignore it. the other thing is this. he was saying this back in january, three times in january he said hillary clinton is the inventer, creator, founder of isis. okay? back in january, the media was looking at trump as this sideshow and they were like oh, we are fine with him going around and smacking all these conservatives who we don't like either, we will play along with this. now he says he's the gop nominee and they all just lose their mind. people go crazy. >> one other point. in december, hillary clinton literally said donald trump was the recruiter for isis. which has no basis of reality. >> trump is constant. it's like he never says a normal thing or says it in a normal way which is why people like him but you know who i feel super bad for in particular is mike pence. he's constantly having to defend donald trump. it's like if you bring a date to a party and he gets super drunk, and you have to be like oh, no, he's just tired. i know this happened last time but he's working on it, i

promise. it's like kind of your fault and it gets exhausting after awhile and you're like maybe he's an alcoholic. that must kind of be how he feels. >> you just didn't describe mike pence. you described a lot of cable commentators who are constantly trying to figure out new and inventive ways to say well, what he really meant was. i have said this before. i would just like a candidate that speaks for me, not the other way around. i do enough work. i can't do this pro bono. >> you are the candidate. if you look for somebody you totally agree with, congratulations, greg gutfeld for president. >> so wait. you wouldn't vote for me, why? >> well, i'm not going to vote. i'm a pedophile. >> you don't vote? >> no, i'm canadian, actually.

>> now we know. >> are people booing because i said i was canadian? >> no, they were saying oh, how great it is to have a canadian here. >> that's why i'm sitting way over here. because i'm a pedophile. >> anyway, go ahead. >> i was just going to ask, when it comes to your perspective as a canadian on american politics, why do you think that donald trump is a tyrant? you used this word before. i feel like it gets thrown around a lot about this guy. >> i was trying to get enough words in there to make a statement. no, i mean, he does seem like a guy who will become president and change all the laws to suit himself. >> like president obama? know why i said that? why i said that? because i'm a racist, right? because i'm a racist. no, i'll tell you something. i actually disagree -- i understand your impression but i disagree with you. i do believe he sounds like an

au auto c autocrat, he wants to be king. that's why he likes putin, says nice things about hugo chavez. he has a thing for strong men. well, who doesn't? but then once he gets into power, he's going to get so bored that he's not going to do it anymore. thnchlg >> this is the hypocrisy of the media. because president obama cut a deal with the iranians and the cubans and somehow, the "new york times" celebrates that as oh, he's moving on and moving forward and is a deal maker. donald trump literally says, you know, why can't we get along with the russians which i am a very anti-russian foreign policy guy, but my point is -- >> where's the applause there? >> my point is that why doesn't donald trump get the same -- >> because of the way he says stuff. it's because the way he says stuff.

which some people love, some people love it. it's exciting, it's not so boring, but he's running against the most boring person of all time so i feel he could tone it down just a little bit. >> if he shuts his mouth for three days and allows hillary to lose a cycle, i'm talking about the news cycle, by the way -- go ahead. >> the shutting up thing, the reaction to -- reaction that we saw to this guy standing behind hillary clinton, i don't know about you but i haven't seen a presidential candidate stand that close to somebody related to terror since, oh, barack obama started his campaign at the house of the guy who tried to find the pentagon, okay? >> oh, my god. >> yeah! >> let me just say that i think hillary might be a little bit busy hiding e-mails to check out all the -- how many -- all the mass shooting relatives that

might be in her audience. >> all right. we have to move on. we will talk about hillary in the next block and say lots of nice things about her. roll, roll, roll, roll. there you go. coming up, more e-mail trouble for hillary. see, i said i would do that. i say she should follow bill's example and stick to the oral legend. then we wad it up to make it nice and soft.

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hillary clinton could be enjoying some pretty encouraging numbers like the 538 chart showing the electoral college figures falling in her favor. if i look at it another way, it reminds me i'm overdue for a colonoscopy. thank you, nate. know what the problem is for hillary? it's only august. light years away from election day. especially when you consider that state department e-mails keep coming back like a bad case of herpes. is there ever a good case? call me. the latest batch show a clinton foundation official reaching out

to clinton aide asking for favors from the clinton-run state department. and another aide cheryl mills holding interviews for jobs while working at state. was this inappropriate? was it pay for play? i don't know, i'm drunk. but it's a race against time for the clinton campaign. what comes first? some smoking gun e-mail or election day? they're hoping election day, when i will be getting my colonoscopy. all right. i'm going -- i don't know why i'm going to you but i am, bonnie. >> because i have all the answers. >> you do. they're wrong. but let's say trump -- stop. this is turning into geraldo 1994. >> you say that like it's a bad thing. >> i know. i don't want to get hit by a chair. >> this audience hates comedy. >> apparently. >> this is the thing.

i do hope that when hillary is president, we still continue to find out -- >> let her finish. >> -- all about her e-mails because this is one of the most compelling political stories since andrew jackson married a divorcee named rachel. >> she wasn't divorced. that's why it was a story. >> yes. she thought she was -- no, no. she thought she was divorced, then she thought she wasn't, then it turns out she was divorced. she made a mistake. >> what about ross? what did ross say? >> that's the 1990s reference, everybody.kat, you have strong s about hillary. where do you see this thing going? i feel like it's a race against time with the e-mails and the election. >> yeah, the cheryl mills stuff, maybe she just did it for fun. maybe she's getting nothing in return. i'm sure they never even talked about it. maybe she didn't even know it was hillary's foundation. she's like wait, that clinton,

that's inappropriate. come on. clearly, clearly, it's not just a one-time thing, it's a consistent pattern of behavior, oh, this could be shady, this could be shadshady. maybe at least some of it's shady. it's called logic. >> you said there was no smoking gun. >> not waiting for a smoking gun. >> we have seen a zillion smoking guns. i will tell you one that disturbs me the most. hillary literally telling jake sullivan, who's on her staff, cut off the top and send it on the unsecured line. that is an instruction to take classified information and just cut off the marking and send it in the form that she can receive it which is like a normal fax machine. that's outrageous. i don't know why that doesn't immediately make her someone who instructed someone to take classified information and throw it out in public. >> you know what's crazy to me

was that when huma abidine left her schedule an open bed in the hotel room when she wasn't there. >> because they continue to get away with it. they know this looks bad. hillary's not an idiot. she knows people would find out about this. she knows how the media works. she doesn't care. she has so much power. >> first of all, i have to say your audience, there was a place for you to boo right there. she said hillary's not an idiot. >> you are such a devil. you are a devilish little creature. ben? >> the thing about this that bothers me the most is, there was this huge push over the course of the past several months that the doj, department of justice, attorney general, we will listen to whatever the fbi tells us to do when it comes to whether we should indict hillary over this stuff, if there's enough evidence to do so. they made this whole thing about this is going to be the fbi's decision, not us. but on this, on a request from

the fbi to investigate and look into the clinton global foundation and to look at their relationship exactly along these lines, the doj just shut it down. they said we don't think there's enough evidence to even look at that. in both cases, it's like how can you trust any of these entities, the institutions that our elites run in washington to be fair in any capacity, where all that matters is what your last name is? >> you know what, it's good not to trust. i don't trust anyone. >> me, neither. >> yeah. i'm very -- i don't even go outside. i don't do anything. but sit at a desk. when everybody leaves, i'm still here all the way until next saturday. kind of sad and scary. i have a bag. all right. koala bears, adorable animals or spawns of satan? probably both. first, libertarian presidential candidate gary johnson is coming up next. no, he's not phoning it in. that's how it works here, people. to win at the olympic games, allyson felix needs to...

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day i planned to get my back waxed. which should be just as entertaining. the only thing that would make it better, a third contestant which could happen. in my perfect world, that third candidate would be a robot or giant lizard or robot giant lizard. but instead i have to make do with gary johnson. the debate commission is reportedly drawing up plans for a three-person debate. as johnson rises in the polls. the former new mexico governor is up around 8% but needs to get to 15% to be eligible. so doing the math, seems boring. joining us now, libertarian presidential nominee, governor gary johnson. governor, always a pleasure. yeah. so honestly, you are a very honest person, what are your chances of getting behind a podium? >> better than 50%. >> that's good. that's about half.

>> good math, greg. glad to see you still got it all together. >> it's amazing what pharmaceuticals, legal ones, can do, governor. everybody always, you know, asks you what's the first thing you would do as president. i want to ask you, what's the third thing? >> boy, this is just as irrelevant as it always has been. i missed this. i really missed this. this is really great. >> what do you want to do if you were president? >> what do i want to do? >> yes. >> well, i want to reduce the size of government which i believe less money out of my pocket is a good thing, and then stand up for civil liberties so included in those civil liberties of course, legalizing marijuana, marriage equality,

women's right to choose and then let's stop with the military interventions, with regime change that has resulted in a less safe world. how's that for starters? let's bring the world together with free markets. >> i like you because you are for free markets and free minds. i think you are like a sleeper candidate. you are a two-term governor but also kind of goofy. right? >> sleeper candidate. what's goofy? >> i don't know. you are the next president. the next president. the next -- no, but the thing is, the reason why i bring that up, we are constantly talking about trump and hillary and how flawed they are, and geraldo says gary johnson is kind of weird. i'm going like what's wrong with

weird? when you're looking at the other candidates you are a successful two-term governor. you cut spending. you left a budget surplus. you won republican in a state that was two to one democrat. what's weird about that? >> well, what's weird is having bill weld as my running mate, two-term republican governor in the state of massachusetts, four to one democrat. we didn't raise taxes a penny. man, this is really getting weird. standing up for civil liberties. you remember bill weld, who was denied the nomination to be ambassador to mexico by jesse helms because in 1997, jesse helms said this is a guy who is pro-choice, who is pro-gay rights and who is pro-medical marijuana? yeah. boy. this is one weird ticket. >> yeah, it is interesting. it's a balance because you are small government, he's big government. a lot of people have an issue about marijuana and the fact you are involved in the marijuana industry.

i'm pro-legalization of just about everything except children. i think children should be banned. i want to ask you, my issue with pot is that i feel that it should be seen as a reward like a martini, like you should work first, then smoke. my problem is that too many young people, they get a bong and end up on the couch and their ambition is gone. i don't think you can legislate that. does that ever occur to you, that that could be a consequence? >> oh, my gosh, greg. man, well, the scenario you're pointing out is not criminal. if somebody wants to take the edge off the day by smoking pot or indulging in a marijuana product just like others do drinks, come on. as long as you're not doing any harm to anybody else as the libertarian nominee for president, as your next president, i'm going to always come down on the side of choice. look, people ought to be able to

make choices in their lives as long as those choices don't adversely affect others. >> i agree with you completely. very sensible. i think everybody has the right to their own oblivion. correct? >> i think so. back to oblivion. as long as you're not doing any harm to anybody else. >> then what's the fun in that? i want a right to oblivion while harming others. anyway, governor, thanks for putting up with me. >> oh, thank you. i can't believe you haven't had me on but i missed you. >> i missed you, too. maybe later. all right. thank you, governor. up next, why is one college offering students helping to become adults? i don't know. i'm not allowed on campus. since the incident.

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can help prevent another one. be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. bayer aspirin. they're turning snowflakes into snowmen and women. had to put that in there. all right. east carolina university, it's in the east carolina somewhere, started a counseling program to help kids learn adulting. the school came up with the idea after seeing a sharp increase in counseling appointments over the past two years. the idea is to teach students how to deal with inevitable setbacks in life and how to respond to them. i.e., how to stop being a big baby and act like an adult. as one official noted, students often struggle at managing failure, adding quote, are you beating yourself up because you got a c? if you chaself-talk you can change the behavior. you should listen to that, bonnie. they also blame social media because kids see the

picture-perfect versions of friends' lives and they feel their own doesn't add up. that's why i refuse to look at myself in the mirror. also why i won't look at pictures of lou dobbs' huge deck. takes up half his backyard. they say everyone loves a big deck but not me. nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. this is coddling or toughening up? >> it's just sad that the university, the point at which you would hope a lot of these kids have learned something in life before they got to that point, they would be able to deal with failure. they would be able to manage that. the problem is that we have basically a portion of a generation, significant portion of it that basically has ptsd just from life. just existence itself is getting them stress disorders to the degree they can't handle getting cs or getting anything less than an a. there is actually a great book

from a few years ago that was all about managing failure and it quoted all these crazy comments from kids like saying to her well, i'm not taking your class because i don't think that i will get an a. >> yeah. >> that in itself is something that you have to learn how to fail in order to succeed. >> that's a smart thing. i did that all through -- i look at this is too hard, i'm dropping out by the third week. you write about such things on a daily basis for fasnational rev. you are doing a mediocre job. i'm trying to hurt you so you toughen up. >> the thing is, i had parents who told me when i was bad at stuff. i think that's made me emotionally normal-ish. because they can't handle failure because they haven't had it. they haven't had anyone tell them they can't do anything. they are sitting on the couch watching the olympics and their parents are if you just try, you can be in the olympics some day, too. you know, if he doesn't want you, it's his loss. like no, some of you won't have olympic bodies and sometimes you're the nightmare and the

other person is much better off without you. that's just true sometimes. >> well, rick, we know she had honest parents. i happen to like this idea, because i could have used this. like when you get out in the real world there's stuff like how do you rent a car. >> i'm sure that's part of this emotional training. >> you got to learn to do things to be an adult. like pay your electric bill. >> look, i agree with everything that's been said so far. i think everybody needs a tiger mom. that's when we need in life. this whole generation of everybody gets a trophy, everybody participates, nobody strikes out. i went to my godson's baseball game last summer. i literally watched as the parents said get out of here -- >> what are you doing? what is this single man doing here?

>> for the record, i'm not single. second of all, it was a baseball game. but one kid in particular went up, he got three strikes and i was like okay, we're moving on, right? oh, no. you sit there and we kept going and going and going until he got a hit. >> oh, so there's no limit -- >> there's no limit. >> pick another hobby, bro. you're not good at it. >> right. i literally was sitting there thinking am i the only person in this entire crowd that thinks this is fine. all the parents kept cheering and everybody was fine with it. i'm like society is going downhill. >> you need three strikes. that's why they did that in california. i always wondered if they based that on bowling and there were ten frames. you could have ten crimes. number nine, i got to worry about it. they base the entire crime issue

on a sporting thing. oh, my goodness. >> as you know, i'm sure you know, i am pro-bullying and i think we need to get back to that, some good schoolyard bullying because it really, i was bullied as a kid, all through middle school. i matured so quick, i had a full beard in eighth grade. i still have it but i bleach it so you can't see it. but it made me, yes, now i love the sound of children crying, but i also face challenges head-on. >> that's good. that's good. >> which i think is -- more people need that. we need more bullying. >> wow. up next, my delivery from hickory farms. first, could it be illegal to drink coffee while driving? we have been asking that question and it probably means the answer is yes or no. find out. i asked my dentist if an electric toothbrush was

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could you go to the big house because of maxwell house? could starbucks put you in the slammer? probably not. but it was a good lead. a new jersey lawmaker, they have them there, proposed a law effectively banning eating, grooming and drinking coffee behind the wheel. the bill outlaws quote, any activity unrelated to the actual operation much a motor vehicle in a manner that interferes with the same operation of the vehicle. the penalty would be up to $400 for the first offense, $600 for a second and for a third, you are sentenced to life in new jersey. saw that one coming. actually, it's $800 plus a 90 day license suspension. the guy behind the bill says the issue is distracted driving and that it won't explicitly ban drinking coffee. still, there's much cooler stuff you can do while driving. like me and my friends did last weekend.

♪ >> that was interesting. good idea, bad idea? >> idea. i think this is going way too far. because if you are in the car and are singing to a karaoke song, if you have a child in your car, if you have a passenger in your car and you are talking to them, you could be distracted. >> right. >> why are politicians worried about what's going on inside of a car? let it alone. >> what's next? i'm not going to be able to pee in a cup or do macrame while i'm driving anymore? silly. >> or i can't text and drive? >> by the way, texting and driving, anything that takes your eye off the road should be banned. i believe. >> that was a joke. >> i know. you have problems. you can text without even a phone.

it's very creepy. although can you text like if you come to a stop sign or stop light and can you then text? >> i don't think so. no. it's not about safety. it's about gaining revenue from people. it's not that they actually think you don't know when is an appropriate and not appropriate time to eat a ham sandwich if you're at a light you can take a sip of the coffee. they know that's okay. but they're like what can we possibly think of we can say is dangerous to get more money. >> anthony weiner is totally against this because he wants to sext while driving. >> guys will try to one-up each other by doing multiple things, watch this, i can eat this hot dog, drink this soda, steer with my elbow, which is something i may have done on occasion but it is going way too far to say i think drinking coffee on your commute is banned.

that's terrible. >> what if you have a really long straw? your cup holder has a long straw? >> kids are a total distraction, more so than coffee cups. >> or someone in your passenger seat that's chatting away or telling you to turn. where do you stop? >> all of this is irrelevant with driverless cars. once the driverless car takes over, it will actually be good and bad. you know when seat belts came into popularity, people sped more and there were more deaths. i have no facts to back that up. but i'm assuming that's the case. you have seat belts and an airbag you end up driving faster. with driverless cars you will have like car parties. people will be in cars, they will be sex caravans and sleeping drivers and people are going to be harassing their driverless cars, they will be

taunting them. it will be a very ugly kind of road warrior scene in the way i look at it. by the way, the cars will make the moral decisions for you. i said that. if say you are winding down highway 1 in california and a deer gets in front, the car will have to make the decision hit the deer or drive off and kill your entire family. i talked about this many times. sometimes alone in my room. i don't know. >> what does the car decide to do? >> the car should kill the animal unless the family's annoying. >> take everything into consideration. >> you should. >> like if they're doing karaoke in the car. >> exactly. or that stupid license plate game. if you are doing that, the car says that's it, i'm taking you out. again, with artificial intelligence, the car will be able to make decisions. so the car's sitting there, he sees the deer and he's suddenly googling the family, like going are these people actually worth

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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (whispers rocket) we're almost out of time. >> what you wanted to say all show but haven't had the chance to say, so here's your chance to say it right now. >> bonnie? >> i just want to say this audience has been fantastic. >> very good. >> i would like to get safely into my taxi. so thank you. >> yes.

you don't have to worry about them. worry about me. >> thank you for having me because i'm never coming back. >> you will be back. you will be back. rick? >> i want to say something to the establishment. where should i look? what camera? >> look at yourself. >> you have a choice to make in the fall. hillary clinton and 5,000 liberal appointees and donald trump or 5,000 republican appointees. make your choice. >> ben? >> i just want to say to all the people who have been playing up this second amendment thing that trump said, i don't get it. we already know hillary clinton is a gold medalist at dodging sniper fire. >> good point. kat? >> my little sister's hedge hog has moved into my old childhood room. is that -- yeah. yeah. it's great. the hedge hog's got a room. i do not. >> i didn't know people to

colorado have th could have them as pets. >> they sure can. >> thanks to my guests. i'm greg gutfeld. welcome to "red eye." hello, everyone. i'm tom shillue. let's check in with andy levey. >> coming up on the big show. donald trump said president obama founded isis. it could have been worse. he could have saided obama founded maroon 5. and cbs' new fall lineup has six new shows with six white men. or as tom shillue calls it, the golden age of television. and finally an air b and b guest used the apartment to shoot a porn scene. she was found out when someone recognized the furniture. >> let's welcome the