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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  April 2, 2017 2:00pm-3:01pm PDT

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she is standing up to russia and iran. will look into her plans. just over one hour from now on the fox news channel as we show you part two of our interview. >> will be back in one hour. right now media buzz is coming on. stick around. >> stick around to see you in an hour.
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>> president obama -- why wouldh meddling. the revelations would have guaranteed hillary's presidency. we would all be sitting at home right now, throwing up. could our beloved obama collud colluded? not like they were best is, more like worst is. they got along like hot sauce. maybe, maybe this was payback for clinton sparking the birther truth, i mean rumor. to which i say, well done mr. obama, if that is your real name. anyway, putin denies involvement. [inaudible] so, how did cnn respond?
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>> of of course the fact checked of putin. it was -- >> at the poor guy who gave putin that bad info is probably dead. of course, they're going to send suicide, yet igor was so distraught over his mistake in the back of his head, six times meanwhile, it's nice to see the left caring about the evil russians
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>> maybe they talked about that. vice president mike pence says he had no idea about any of that, never, what? that shocking. never heard any of it, and that's why somebody has decided to leak a portion of his 2005, tax return. and that is how and why we got it tonight. >> she is working it. it makes me wonder, why, why now to know what today is? i have here my hand the calendar. take a look at today. it is april 1. so what's in my hand now. what's in my hand a wikipedia page. with her date of birth, which is april fools' day.
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rachel maddow was born on a day celebrated by day with of hoaxes. >> a day that marks fake news. coincident? it is also john goslin's birthday. i hate john goslin. back to our wikipedia page which i printed an exclusive printing for my exclusive computer. if you look closely, you'll see the place of birth. she is born in a valley, a valley in california within miles of a river. the russian river. [laughter] back in 2014, russia tried to block the olympic anti- doping effort and what sport? what would you do in a river? you might swim. who was an avid swimmer? you guessed it. what about this valley she was born in?
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castro valley, fidel castro, he established ties in russia hoping to replicate his murderous dictatorship. he seemed to anticipate rachel's every move. like putin, whose dissertation was on economics. it was 20218 pages long. i want you to let that number sink in 218, on episode 218 of rachel show, who was her guest? this man. mr. anthony weiner. he helped run hillary clinton after it was revealed he had hillary's e-mails on his filthy, filthy laptop. anthony weiner, how convenient. could russia plan the whole thing with the help of someone signaling when the time was right? in russia, weiner is often called a kielbasa, on
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december 24, 2015 the day before christmas, maddow tweeted this. i know it will be a hassle to fly with the fresh kielbasa, but how much hassle? who would tweet that about kielbasa, unless it was a tipoff to the russians about weiner. to sabotage hillary clinton on the exact same day, the father of the soviet union dies. he was only 94, rachel. why? it was also ricky martin's birthday. the day of the pigs. kielbasa, anthony weiner, assault rifles, ricky martin, it is all coming together like the word batter that makes the
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deadly cake for sinister figure on a dark day, based on lies. [laughter] happy birthday rachel. you deserved it. [applause] [applause] we need to welcome our guests. this man has written more books than i have read. celebrated journalists, the great pj o'rourke, it is called how the hell did this happen. probably the best writer of my generation. like an emergency room dr. he will leave you in stitches. actor, writer, comedian, janie. [applause] she considers deliverance and
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romance. a national writer, cat. and the sahara desert is a sandbox, welcome tyrus. [applause] tj, you grew up on the russians were really bad. in the left love them. so you and i were the enemy in the cold war, the russians were their friends. was this outrage hard to swallow. >> yes, you nailed it, now that russia is kind of a regular country, we are just doing regular evil stuff instead of a vast network of james bond level evil stuff. now that they are just a stinky country, like all of the rest of the countries.
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the left has gotten really -- noticing inequality. >> greg: they also had free stuff like free healthcare and everybody was poor. that was the quality. jamie, what you make of this russian thing? i know you were in alaska so of course, you can see russia. >> first of all i loved your monologue. it brought me back, i was in heavy metal band in high school called hot sauce. so it took me way back. i have to tell you one thing, seeing anthony weiner brought back so many fond memories of his time in the news. it makes me think of your last name is weiner and you like sending pictures should you pronounce it different. like this is my associate, -- i was still avenging the death?
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>> doesn't make it cool like a secret with russia. >> greg: it's actually kind of fun cap watching this on full. it's like a nonstop soap opera. were not sure where it will go next. i actually think there may not be much there. >> ray, obviously if all of the things did happen that rachel maddow is insinuating happen, that would be bad. that would be very bad. she wants them to be true because she can get ratings and everything. she just grasps at. it has become so politicized. we should all be united in the fact that it would be bad if these things were true regardless of what you think of trump, rachel maddow. >> greg: thank god we did not do that with obama.
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[applause] >> , libertarian. >> greg: they always say i don't do anything bad. >> but i do have the freedom to do so if i choose. >> greg: that is true. at any moment in time. tyrus what is your take on the event? >> and wrestling we tend to build the bad guy to beat him at the end. we really want russia to be the soviet union. we really want putin to be a fifth floor debater is coming and all of a sudden six death stars in front of america may have something to fight about. i think they finally found some dirt, but it's not sexy enough. just we expect them to have a big canna but it's a little gone. they thought they are bidding people up in an alley but they just used harsh language on twitter. they unfriended a few people on the left. the more i am reading this i think they're having fun with it. i will talk if you give me immunity. they are going to have to
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because russia is involved. you just have to say it. >> i think it can go both ways. i think those were fans of trump should see if there is anything. >> the world's tallest, and he had some dull knowledge toward the end. it was like the little drummer girl times 40 and you are on page 700 and nobody has gotten hurt yet. >> greg: it's like a foreign film, all words, no action. some of the words i don't even know what they are. coming up, some commercials to buy everything you see including gold, silver, and reverse mortgages. but first, will artisans block on coffee talk? [vo] quickbooks introduces jeanette
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>> greg: can we mend a politica? a lesser-known coffee chain known as starbucks is working
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with the startup to give free coffee to people who hold of opposing views. they have to engage in play political discourse. t you have to talk to people you would rather punch in the face only for dead in the desert. a couple of things that amaze me, first, i cannot believe we need an incentive to have a civil conversation. actually, i can't believe that. second, they basically took the wisdom printed on a coffee mug and turned it into a business model. i wish i had thought of that. i do question the logic of giving piping hot beverages to people who, on any given day might kill each other. h perhaps this is a ploy by bigdah ointment. >> big ointment?seriou >> this is serious and has not been addressed with healthcare. it was not a dress by the republicans. we know where the jokes will go. with lubricants. big lubricants. i do understand the need for
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some payback to talk to people you might loathe and dislike. of course that is not going to lead to a civil discussion so, how about a car. >> greg: that was oprah's thing. i think that hot beverages is less wise than booze. if you throw beer on someone it's kind of cool. >> it is kind of cool. first off i want to say that i i noticed people ordering skinni drinks, aren't.>> you s [applause] i don't know if we need to do maybe just more than that i'm not that impressed with giving away coffee. i would say i be much more oppressed and likely to go there if they gave away like say to people were giving a political discussion there ago.
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this is a little work. it's going to backfire. >> nothing like me with confederate gentlemen talking about free work. this is nothing more than political that's all it is. random people showing up talking about stuff. were exchanging ideas. i swear to god. while he told us not to do unless it was another guy were marriage broken up over this, darling this way met her at starbucks to try to bring herer side. where having a civil discussion that we had no argument. her pants on her ankles. >> the best way to have a calm discussion as to get people on o
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bunch of caffeine. >> greg: the thing that bothers me as starbucks is doing this out of the goodness of their heart. in a way they contributed to it because they're one of the few companies who were getting involved in politics. to quote the symptoms, they are the solution and the problem. like alcohol. they start the problem and then say will solve it. >> i don't think people are really going to do it. remember their race together thing where they encouragepre people and customers to talk to their baristas about political issues. i did that and ultimately i was asked to leave because the line behind me was so long. so they don't think these things through. i know it's going to make us i look at it, like we care but. >> the whole idea of civil discussion is that it's a liberal idea. >> greg: that is true. >> if your conservative lie, conservative, your motto is, shut up.ut up. [laughter] that is the way i explain politics to my kids. [laughter]politi shut up. >> greg: i also think this is
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going to work because people like outrage. the adrenaline rush of telling people they are wrong. right now i'm seeing another wave of busybodies on twitter like john legend, and chrissy teigen, these are people very wealthy that have rich lives and are going on to twitter to tell people how bad they are, how rude they are, how a travelel agent sent someone -- what are you doing? what is wrong with you, you sad piece of crap. i mean that in a general sense. >> when your bills are paid and you have five or six homes youa have time to say well the drycleaner was a little rude this morning. here's the whole point of this starbucks thing, nobody changes anybody's mind anymore. there's like 45 cable channels -- not like this one. they have pundits on both sides. have you ever seen someone say something and i believe that trump's plan will work on a civil i never thought about,
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wow, you're right. thank you so much for talking this is been great. literally it's in the parking my, you and me, i'll knock you i out. >> i know that if you are on a show and you say you're right, you changed my mind, you will not be on the show. then it will be just caught fire. >> today on cross. >> greg: no one wants to watch a marriage.a >> especially not a happy one. >> greg: any last words jamie? >> i was trying to remember but i cannot come i was just reading about the starbucks thing and the ceo put out a statement. he said something like, can't we all, i just think we should all just care about each other.ok but first sell everybody 6-dollar cup of coffee. they care about each other.
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>> the just so in love with statements that cannot be negated. we should all just care more about each other. they just want to say, you know we should care less about each other. say, , sh the hell withould c them. stay out of my bubble. that's why am in a bubble.have on. >> greg: we have to move on. coming up a story so high construction workers was allotted on the way to work. first, al gore has a new movie, spoiler alert, it's awful. y286oy ywty
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if you can't afford your medication, astra zeneca may be able to help. >> the senate judiciary committee set to vote tomorrow on president trumps supreme court nominee, is a tossup as to whether a two thirds majority will vote to approve when his nomination goes to the full senate. some 36 democrats are currently eight know about. only three democrats have committed to voting for the judge. another ten around decided. the southeast bracing for more nasty weather. a storm system is rumbling toward texas through louisiana,
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arkansas, and new jersey. they could have baseball size hail, flash flooding and tornadoes. there have been two deaths on a possible tornado, one victim was a 3-year-old girl. >> greg: the climate has truly changed. political climate that is, america. god shoot me. president trump signed an executive order nullifying president obama's climate change effort. surprise? of our mental activist hated. like michael moore, noted source of flatulence. he tweeted this, in between pies. he tweeted his story in the near future will mark today, march 20, 2017th as a date the extinction of human life on earth began, thanks to donald
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>> what historians if we're all going to die? >> greg: that was what i was going to say. historians are exempt from extinction. the next line is, i'm becoming n historian.en he sa >> let's start with michael moore. >> greg: i want talk about former vp and al gore. he has a new film, for a change it is not in his underpants. it is a sequel to his climate change real of lies, inconvenient truth that will be persisted that the planet would be gone in ten years. yet, 11 years later court releases a sequel. you know who proved al gore wrong? al gore.[laughter] [applause] we happen to have the trailer for this highly anticipated new film.
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>> in a world where no one in the media questioned one man's opinion on global warming, thatm man now has a sequel. it was just 11 years ago that he said the world would end in ten years. unless earth acted on its ridiculous proposals. now, he is releasing a second film, proving tall that he was wrong and we are still here and he was completely incorrect. al gore, leo dicaprio and daven matthews.th >> inconvenient truth two, more lies. >> i want to ask you, shouldn't that ruin your reputation if you if end ten years ago when you're around 11 years later making another movie?
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>> i don't see her point. who would be more for global warming like me? help him it's freezing there. >> but you chose it. >> i did. remind me why. it's freezing. the other day the weatherman was like, he was frozen. and literally it cycled indoors. i have to admit that i saw theor inconvenient truth and some of it makes me sad. it's a problem we have to make sure the sciences there before give money to certain people. p. you see the money of the polar bear, who does of the polar bears beside their natural enemy? you see a polar bear on an iceberg and i don't blame him mission's for this, i blame the cameraman. reach your hand out. [applause] >> you see the turtle slowly
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dying to death. >> greg: i look at michael moran i know that 1.5 million people die from diabetes which is related to obesity.hi yet he is telling us that we need are going to die from warmer weather. that's ironic. >> especially with that ice cream cone in his hand. [laughter] but he has the dress for success thing. >> greg: that is true. he dresses for the job he wants. [laughter] >> greg: i did at first. here's the problem. fat jokes a michael moore archie. except he says horrible things. >> he is passionate about -- >> greg: but he has set awful things about people. >> he's a good filmmaker and stuff. >> greg: which film? >> i'm trying to be positive.
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i have a starbucks date with him next week, i'm trying to reach common ground. my point is, even if donald trump did that, his executive order would be and earth now. now. and call monsters climbed out of the white house. hang on for four years, and no more ending the earth.re >> if al gore says he's not really telling the truth you know that is? the planet getting warmer but there's too many damn people. [applause] so how does that go in your movie? well we need to down to about 50 million. so working have this cool thing called the lottery. >> before you make me depressed.
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i need to get to cap. >> as you mention we are all going extinct anyway. but, regardless , the climate change, what we put into the planet comes out of it. we should care about the environment. however, even if we were perfect as a country and we switch back to horses and we rode around on buggies and wagons, it would not make that much of a difference in the world overall. however, it would trash our economy. we would run the risk of another donner party association. i found that when people start shouting about extinction, that's where reason is left. usually in a good therapist would tell you not to make important decision when you're emotional. so we should be making policieso based on emotion either. >> greg: it's a point to bring up they should not call the donner party a party. it wasn't fun.n' not for them.
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>> i had my birthday party is a donner party theme. >> greg: well isn't that clever and edgy for a college party. >> what is the point? when you're looking for someone they call it a search party. >> greg: coming up, a story about sex, drugs, and murder except for the sex, drugs, murder part. how internet privacy rules could be changing. translation, clear your browser history right now. there's a denture adhesive that holds strong until evening. fixodent plus adhesives. just one application gives you superior hold even at the end of the day fixodent. strong more like natural teeth. it'that can make a worldces, of difference. expedia, everything in one place, so you can travel the world better.
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that helps proactively manage both diarrhea and abdominal pain at the same time. so you stay ahead of your symptoms. viberzi can cause new or worsening abdominal pain. do not take viberzi if you have or may have had pancreas or severe liver problems, problems with alcohol abuse, long-lasting or severe constipation, or a blockage of your bowel or gallbladder. if you are taking viberzi, you should not take medicines that cause constipation. the most common side effects of viberzi include constipation, nausea, and abdominal pain. stay ahead of ibs-d... with viberzi. [♪] greg: generally it's a good idea to avoid doing stories until you >> greg: generally it's a goodis until you fully understand there facts.reverse i have decided to panic now. i don't know what this is about frankly. on tuesday, house republicans voted to reverse internet privacy rules from obama's time in office.
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rules that would that force intt advisors like at&t get your permission before sharing your data. stuff like your browsing history. now you see why am panicking. republicans say the repeal will level the playing field for internet providers because websites like facebook and google are doing these things. democrats say it's handing over sensitive information to the highest bidder. here's massachusetts congressman. >> just last week, i bought and a war on theou internet. why should you know what size i take. >> greg: yes.es, , although it, i do. maybe he's right. maybe we don't want to browser histories out there for sale. imagine what my browser history looks like when i'm trying to find videos for you, the viewer for the show.
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[inaudible] [inaudible] >> it's amazing, i was searching for biographies of lou dobb. they're going to make a lot of money off this, does this were you? do you do a lot of unusual browser searches? >> no, not me. nothing unusual about them at all. i just look up where the kids little league game is next, desperate michie. >> greg: but, you don't have kids. [laughter] >> i do have kids but their way past little league. dar >> greg: jamie, i think you have some dark secrets that only youl browser could tell. i
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>> yep, you're right. i just had to think about it for a minute. they are watching us. hasn't everyone had that thing where you're on the internet and an act comes up and you go there listening. sometimes it's unrelated. i was online trying to buy a big truck with a lift kit in the very next day an ad for a enlargement. [laughter] >> i get it. >> and it's like i don't even have my camera on. w >> imagine what pops up on anthony weiner's. >> greg: i'm dead it's tamer than what he actually asks for.: that would pop up and he would say i already have that. two don't i do? i do philanthropic searches for people who are too embarrassed to do it themselves. so somebody says i have mouth fungus i will do that for them because that's the kind of person i am. it's not me, somebody else.
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>> i am like a where is her search history under sleep type of girl. i have weird stuff but i don't think anybody would be shocked f to hear that. can't but, maybe it's weirder than you could ever expect. >> greg: what is the weirdest thing you've ever search? >> i can't tell you that. they are selling this information. it's not shocking that they would on internet companies are influential -- everyone should care about this. everyone should care about it. the argument is google and facebook are doing it, it's liks yeah, and it's not good. [applause] >> tyrus, what about your searches? >> i'm just going clear my browsers. i'll be honest of somebody bought my browser and get a minute my mind that i can have a cmu right beautiful desk.
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so all later mark them out, you get no>> greg: that's interesti. how many suicide are linked to exposure of their browser history. you can't prove it. it's like people getting hit by cars because they're looking at hot chicks. >> how many relationships ended with, you left the laptop up and you want to go to thailand? >> you gave me the excuse, needed it. i have some friends with a little sexual dysfunction. just out of charity i'm check in some things out. maybe if you watch this.ou >> if my wife went through my browser search she would be disappointed in me, how lame it was. done nothing wrong.
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>> your comedian, your docs so. >> i don't trust anybody that clean-cut. i know you have things and freezers that are actually scratching their way to get out. >> i live in a freezer. >> that's true, alaska. i'll just spell out the joke. >> greg: coming up, story so powerful s it can benchpress yor face. the president will throughout the first pitch on opening day. is he making a mistake? is he making a mistake? tyrus is investigating. [applause] i am just trying to learn as much as i can about my culture. i put the gele on my head and i looked into the mirror and i was trying not to cry. because it's a hat, but it's like the most important hat i've ever owned. discover the story only your dna can tell. order your kit now at ancestrydna.com.
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greg: apparently mlb's opening day is near it's major league baseball. >> greg: apparently mlb opening day is near. and that does not stand for, my little butt. it ispriden major-league baseba. washington nationals invited the president to throughout the first pitch but he declined because of a scheduling conflict. it is noteworthy because every presidents sense steve taft with the exception of jimmy carter has thrown out the first pitch at some point in history. is he missing the chance to unite the country?t
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>> it donald trump, due to schedule conflicts is not going to throughout the opening pitch for the nationals comes out okay? >> that's fine. >> but it's baseball. >> it's wrong. >> the only one who is never done it,t,>> is carter. so, donald trump needs to throughout this pitch. >> absolutely, space bar, it's america. >> you don't get carter out of being the president, when you think of carter you think of peanuts and one term. throw the pitch. >> who you think would be the worst pitch? torch bush, brock obama, ronald reagan, donald trump?>> or got field. >> actually, before his injuries he deflected from cuba and he had hundreds of miles fast ball. but after his injury vowed to never pitch again. >> 50-cent throughout the absolute worst pitch.ck >> and hit someone in the back ground.
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a bad day for 50-cent. >> it if you would have been a dollar maybe he did better. >> the best pitch was probably bush? >> 100%. >> did he threw a strike? >> yes, 85 or 90 miles an hour. >> what is wrong with this picture? >> he's aware international jacket and a white socks fan. but if you have to would it be okay to wear the hat? >> quit staring at my sweater. >> i like it. >> it's one-of-a-kind. it's not a poncho, it has a hoodie on the back.hat let's get back to baseball. earlier i talked about geraldo that failed, that was fake news. although sources key from cnn,
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everything else was 100% true. [applause]call >> from now on you have to call that, half a poncho and half a hoodie. >> i'm like a superhero. >> greg: it's a strange thing. in fact that killed 50-cent career.e what is wrong with and i'm not going to do it? >> he had to do it. he needs to do it. it's a great honor. >> what do you disagree? >> i think it's good for president trumps brand for beina too busy. i am very surprised i've not seen a tweet from him yet saying obama was played all this golf, i can't throughout the first pitch because i'm too busym making america great again. [applause] he has played a lot of golf.
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>> greg: we only cover obama playing golf. thi do you think trump should chuck the ball is a thin baseball? >> first of all, i love the sweater. >> and you have one now. >> i feel like it answers a lot of questions i have with sweaters. like my nipples get so call but my for her so hard. [laughter]h i believe john said he would have thrown out his first pitch of it was a smaller ball and he could hit it with the golf ball. >> that hurt. the whole world would be looking at his fingers. >> exactly. he played baseball, didn't he? >> he's thrown the ball. >> he's f busy. >> will go with busy. >> greg: don't go anywhere, final thoughts are up next.
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find more than $4000 in tax savings. visit quickbooks-dot-com. >> greg: we are running out of time. >> what you wanted to say all show but you haven't had a chance of here's your chance, right now. >> by my book. [applause] i'm [inaudible] television for my help. >> greg: by the way, think i have about seven or eight of your books. the book that influenced me was republican party reptile. but your editor of national lampoon. i was addicted to that magazine. i have almost all the earlyth books and later books, most of them. so i pretty much just kissed
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your -- >> for my final thought i wanted to say hello to my wife and three beautiful children. [applause]i shou >> unfortunately i do have four children, but i want to say hi to three of them. >> you want me to follow that? hi mom. i have a spoke to 20 years. [laughter] >> something tells me that's true. >> oh it is true. check out impact wrestling, have a big match coming up. >> greg: okay cat, rounded up. >> i think you should buy all of pj's books. don't sell yourself short,t, market them all. >> greg: thank you to all of our guests. our studio audience, i'm greg gutfeld. i love you america. [applause]
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>> tonight a direct warning from president trump. he says the united states will take unilateral action to stop the nuclear's threat from north korea. with or without china. hello everyone, i am eric. >> hello will mr. trump claim north korea coming ahead with his visit telling the financial times if china doesn't increase pressure the united states will do it alone. let's go to kristin fisher. kristin what does president

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