>> sometimes you need to take quick action and remind everyone who's boss. and it seems clear this highly specific strike is a pretty reasonable response to genocide. it's the military equivalent of a rolled-up newspaper on a dog's nose. the message isn't just for syria, but russia, iran, north korea and china. there's a new sheriff in town, and he's willing to kick your dog. i mean, he just kicked putin's mutt. talk about refuting that narrative. and really it's got to be hard for the left to protest this, chanting hey ho, retaliating against genocide has got to go? [laughter] it doesn't flow. and what of those who called the whole syria chemical attack a false flag? but you can use that line on anything. it works on anything. anyway, it's as if the world offered president trump a

multiple choice question, and he picked the most careful, measured answer. assad tested trump, and trump answered, unlike obama. the take-home message, you can't play scared. it's not a win because right now there's no definition of winning. the middle east sucks. but maybe, just maybe the limited strike made it suck a little less. [cheers and applause] all right, all right, all right. let's welcome tonight's guests. she's smarter than your boss and hotter than your radiator, one of my co-hosts on "the five," kimberly guilfoyle. [cheers and applause] he's deadlier than a bulldog's fart. [laughter] former navy seal who killed usama bin laden, it's rob o'neill. [cheers and applause]

she still thinks the exorcist was a family film, national review reporter kat timpf. [cheers and applause] all right. he picks his teeth with tna wrestlers, it's tyrus. i've got to go to rob first, did trump do the right thing and why? >> no doubt about it, he did the right thing just because the message needs to be sent. [cheers and applause] he, he enforced a red line that president obama put in place and didn't do anything about. and it's a message that needs to be sent. i mean, it's not just to bashar al assad or kim jong un, it's to iran, it's one of those things, like, we needed to turn, and sometimes in order to deter, you need to smack 'em. if anyone needs to be smacked on the ass, it's vladimir putin. [cheers and applause] greg: although i am a close second. [laughter]

>> you like it too much. greg: yes, kimberly, i've been a very bad, bad boy. [laughter] >> always. greg: you know, kimberly, you know, this is the kind of language that the world's worst people understand. it's not like esperanto, there's no universal language of love. sometimes diplomacy needs a big stick. >> absolutely. you know, strength through power, peace through power. but i think this was a long time coming, as we know, because there was a failure to the act by president obama. he drew a red line, and now what we have with president trump is i do believe it is america first. he stepped in to say, hey, we're not going to allow a leadership vacuum anymore. we're in charge. he is not afraid to act unilaterally and go solo on an issue like this which i think is very important to send this message, yes, to china, to russia, to iran, the all of those forces -- >> to nato, too, because everyone's pretty much afraid of russia. russia doesn't have a lot of allies, they sort of have syria,

whatever a country that is next, but nato's afraid of russia, and president trump's taking a quick pivot between the key lime pie or whatever and launching a couple missiles into syria. you want it to happen, this can happen. greg: kat, i'm sure you've been in this situation, you're at dinner -- [laughter] and you think things are going well, and then an hour later you realize the guy that you're with is bombing another country. [laughter] >> only once, but -- [laughter] that was a rough night. i agree with trump on this, but by that i mean 2016 candidate trump. [laughter] who said that getting involved in syria would lead to increased debt and the possibility of a long-term conflict. this is a total reversal -- greg: yes, it is. >> next he might, you know, create a zipline into the united states from mexico instead of a wall could be next. [laughter] also 2013 trump, totally right when he talked about congressional approval. that's what the constitution says, whether i don't you like it -- whether you like it or not, and when something goes

against the constitution, i go against that. greg: i think it's a principled stance. i'm more of a casual constitutionalist. >> yeah. [laughter] tbrg dwrg i'm totally for it until i'm not for it. >> honest. greg: yeah, i'm honest about it. tyrus, okay, are you a hawk just because you did a selective measure to an airfield? is that war really? >> well, all the animals i've ever been described as, hawk would not be one of them. but to piggyback off what kat so eloquently said, sometimes you've got to make it rain like a strip club of missiles. [laughter] you've got all the plans in the world, like i was going to go to college, i was going to get married, things happened, and i had to make decisions. greg: and you became a wrestler. >> i think rain with a strip club full of missiles was in his speech. >> it might have been, but their decisions forced his hand.

greg: right. [applause] >> and that's what -- >> the constitution doesn't allow for flexibility. greg: yes -- >> and he did a great thing by leaving congress out of it. >> then amend it! greg: the constitution needs a yoga mat. >> or a pilates machine. long and lean but very tauped. greg: oh, my god, i can't walk for days. >> it's going to be difficult for people to argue against this because there's a rule that you don't use weapons of mass destruction. serin gas is that, and when you do, you need to get punished for it. if you go to congress needing time to get it, i don't know if you know this, they don't exactly speed through things. the russians are going to find out -- >> they're going to telegraph it. greg: very, very slow people in that line of work. all right, coming up, what's the latest on susan rice, congressman nuñes? we'll discuss in a manner that is the opposite of boring. [cheers and applause]

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greg: favorite band. it's our weekly round-up of media crap, so let's first visit the queen bee as she focuses on

what matters most, sweat pants and stenographers. >> the other side of the table, you see the iraqi delegation all dressed up or attentive for this high will-level meeting. mr. shiller, as you can see, appears to be wearing a bodyguard. the president's bodyguard in the sweat suit. one job you could have in the world is you could be a stenographer. the stenographers in the senate take down every word. see the stenographer there? stenographers. six stenographers. greg: she loves the letter s. [laughter] sweat pants, stenographers. one is for when you've given up on life and the other is when you're facing life. [laughter] that's the court joke. >> that was very good. greg: at least the prosecutor got it. [laughter] but at least rachel maddow can pronounce those russian names. >> i'm not great with russian names, i find them -- i'm sorry to admit, i find them hard to remember and hard to pronounce.

and putin's ex-wife has a first name that is particularly difficult for me. her first name is ludmilla. i'm quite sure i'm not saying it right, but i do have a mnemonic device because i'm pretty sure it rhymes with villa. greg: maybe if it began with the letter s it would have been better. [laughter] anyway, moving up a little bit there. with the airstrike in syria, it kind of changes the whole trump loves russia narrative, doesn't it? meanwhile, chris matthews, also known as the guy on the bus who tells you aliens are living in his teeth -- [laughter] he thinks he knows who jared and ivanka remind him of. >> i kid about everything, but, you know, working for saddam hussein, you wouldn't go to a restaurant and have eye contact with one of these guys without getting killed. imagine getting into a fight in the office with jared or ivanka.

>> it's also a sign of how powerful jared kushner is. can't think of a non-chief of staff, a non-national security adviser with the breadth of a -- >> i know a couple. [laughter] greg: oh, man. if that made sense to you, you ate too much paint. [laughter] >> right. greg: but at least he's not calling you a sexist. >> these guys are trooping along like camp followers of trump. >> by looking for a pinata, they found one in susan rice. >> notice it's always a female? >> basically, they're defaming her without any reason to do so, because she's a woman. maybe because she's a black woman. greg: i think that's called mailing it in. or femaling it in. then there's cnn whose motto is if we don't report it, clearly, it doesn't exist. >> there is no evidence that backs up the president's original claim. and on this program tonight we will not insult your intelligence by pretending otherwise, nor will we aid and abet the people who are trying

to misinform you, the american people, by creating a diversion. greg: translation, i'm rubber, you're glue. [laughter] come on, don. if you want us to take collusion seriously, then take the leaks seriously. they're like laverne and shirley, a package deal, like star sky and hutch, captain and tenille, joy behar and throwing up. >> everybody, face it, he needs to be taken out of office. [cheers and applause] he's a menace! greg: that's the view, otherwise known as what you watch when the batteries on your remote have died and you're too drunk to get up to change the channel. [laughter] [applause] of course, there are some media heroes this week, like that democrat who couldn't stop talking. >> how are you feeling? >> well, i got a little 90-minute nap earlier and some food, and i'm feeling better. >> you spoke for 15 and a half hours last night, and you've had

90 minutes' sleep since then? >> that's correct. that's right. >> well, if you start swearing or speaking nonsense, we'll cut your mic, sir. >> thank you. yeah, my mind's a little clouded right now. greg: making him a perfect candidate to host an msnbc show. [laughter] [applause] in sum, the world is nuts. but for the media, it's as if none of these problems ever existed before donald trump which is why i forgive rachel and the rest of them for being so damn cranky. they all just woke up after a nine-year nap. [laughter] [cheers and applause] kimberly, before the strike it was like competing scandals. you had the leak, you had the collusion, it looked like there was more evidence in the leak, less evidence in the collusion, they were fighting it out like hearns and tyson, wrong era, i know. i know, tyrus, i was trying. kimberly -- >> we won't take you literally,

we never do. greg: did the syria strike change the story at all? i mean, did it, like, show maybe there isn't a collusion, or is it a cover-up? >> well, it's obviously not a cover-up but, okay, keep watching msnbc. obviously, this really changes the whole narrative from a geopolitical standpoint in terms of the stories, they'll come back into cycle again whether you should cover surveillance or whether you should cover collusion or cover both like we do. but really, obviously, this has dominated the news cycle. you saw we did it all, you know, the whole show on friday. greg: that was a joy. >> but it's an important story, and it needs to be covered and it was a substantive step in terms of shaping kind of donald trump's national security and foreign policy viewpoints. greg: rob, where do you sit on this nuñes, do you think there's collusion? do you think there are leaks? do you think one's more important than the other? >> well, there's going to be leaks. they're wiretapping someone. americans' names didn't need to

be released or unmasked. there's definitely something going on there. they're going to have a problem with the russian thing because, obviously, putin and president trump are not that close of friends the way things went down, but i guarantee by the sunday morning talk shows, they're going to have a whole new way to spin this, some sort of collusion from the russians and trump. even susan rice came out a couple years ago and said because of nonaction butty diplomacy, we were able to talk through russians, syria out of their chemical weapons. and if you can believe it, a lot of people lie to us. greg: yeah, hard to believe. tyrus what is your political -- >> i'm sorry, i'm still pissed off about the bodyguard thing. i think it's hilarious that someone on the left is talking about the way somebody looks. greg: you were snoop's bodyguard. >> yeah. and i'm not fight anything a tie. [laughter]

i'm trying. [laughter] greg: why sweats? it's a bodyguard. is it because you can -- >> one, deep pockets for carrying all their crap. two -- [laughter] if you get in a scrap, you need to get loose. greg: kat, you wear sweats because you're never leaving the apartment. >> yeah, there you go. where am i supposed to go with that question, by the way? greg: that is your job. if i insult you, you take it anywhere you want to go. >> you're supposed to say thank you for the insult. thanks, greg madden. >> absolutely. something i've noticed that's been missing is nobody's really talking about who supports trump and is upset about it with susan rice specifically talking about surveillance reform. greg: right. >> because although this was clearly politically motivated, another reason why it was kind of allowed to happen is because of the way that very pro-surveillance right now. the standard for being able to have senior officials know these incidentally collected names is that it provides some benefit to foreign intelligence.

that's pretty broad, and she could have a legal defense there even though it was politically motivated but, you know, usually a lot of trump supporters or are surveillance happy. greg: i am. >> i know, you sure are. greg: but i've said this before, all scandals matter. we should look at all of them. it's like a deal parents make, you know? i'll say your child is cute, you say my child is cute even though mine is hideous. [laughter] it's the same thing with scandals. yeah, the collusion thing's a possibility, but you've got to listen to me about the leaking. that's all we're asking is fair play. >> snitches get stitches. greg: you know, every time you say you pigginggyback, you totally disagree with her. [laughter] all right, a recent poll finds that 73% of registered voters think the u.s. tax system should be reformed this year. i'd love to explain trump's tax plan, but i just can't make it interesting. luckily, i know a guy who can. behold, lou dobbs rapping the

news. [laughter] >> income taxes, why aren't they fair? we pay too much but the left don't care. [laughter] you can't stand the forms, can't stand the stress, need a new plan to end this mess. so for trump's plan, here's the deal, the changes are huge, the reductions are real. cut the brackets from 7 to 3, simplify the forms for you and me. slash the corporate tax by 20%, allows more money to pay the rent. and last for the rich, the top rate adopts from 40 to 33 which is why lou is smiling, most definitely can. [laughter] [applause] greg: i call him the yeasty boy. [laughter] all right, coming up, do we really need a border wall, or is trump all the wall we need? [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ now at bass pro shops

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[♪] robert: live from "america's news headquarters." i'm robert gray. the u.n. navy says the u.s. carl vinson is headed for the korean it was headed for australia

port-of-call. this comes after recent provocations by north korea shooting several missiles into the sea of japan. a bomb was found in oslo, norway. they have been on a high state of alert since the truck attack in sweden that killed four people and injured 15. sweden laid hundreds of candles and flowers at the scene. i'm roberttf gray. greg: welcome back. this week marked the deadline for companies to submit their proposals for building the border wall. this is great. some proposals suggested solar panels to light the wall. what are they thinking? [laughter] also artwork to make the wall look pretty. [laughter] and remember the. s filled with -- and trenches filled with nuclear waste around

the wall to make it totally gross. [laughter] [applause] why would you applaud that? what is wrong with my audience? [laughter] meantime, according to the department of homeland security, arrests at the u.s./mexican border dropped to their lowest point in 17 years last month. [cheers and applause] an indication, it's an indication that fewer people are trying to come into the u.s. now, why would that be? is it because lena dunham's show, "girls," is ending after six years? [laughter] or is it because of this? >> we're going to have the wall, we're going to have the wall. we're going to build a wall, right? we're going to build a wall. we're going to build a wall, believe me, we're going to build a wall. we're going to make the wall now 10 feet taller. 10 feet taller. [laughter] greg: now, it's too early to know if this was a trend, but think about it. if the president's getting illegal crossings to drop without putting a single brick or solar panel or piece of art on that border, then trump is the wall! [cheers and applause]

maybe -- yeah, maybe we don't need to build one. i think we just saved ourselves billions of dollars. [laughter] [applause] tyrus, this is the power of persuasive messaging. 75% of the solution is him saying he's going to do it, right? >> well, not just that. and this is where the left really helps him out, because, you know, there's those giant black vans driving up and down california snatching people up, just like -- it's crazy out there. [laughter] you guys, you hear guys going in the store to buy a cup of coffee, and they're deported. [laughter] >> obama did that too though. there was more than a million people -- >> right. but not like trump's doing it with guys with black capes and masks who show up and throw you in the back of the car, and they won't leave until they see your child run out in the driveway. [laughter] greg: wait until the family's home. >> stay there, because coming back for you. [laughter] the hype of the wall, i think,

is probably greater than the wall ever will be. greg: that's a great point. actually, the left hysteria created -- >> yeah. he has spaceships. [laughter] he wanted to see if he could send a his passenger to the moon -- hispanic to the moon, and he was wrong, but he's just a man with a lot of money. [laughter] greg: yes. >> it's sad, but that's how they spin it. like, it's sad the way they spin it, you know? but it works because immigrants, it's spreading around. nobody wants to come over. greg: what do you think, rob? do you think the wall's going to get built? >> i'm a big fan of deterrent for a lot of things and, again, the rhetoric that the left is putting out, i've got a way to save money though. put up a couple movie screens, and put on shia labeouf's new movie. they won't come near that. [laughter] [applause] greg: poor shrks -- poor shia. >> it made seven pounds in its opening weekend in the u.k.

greg: it's strange. all right, enough of making fun of me. [laughter] all right, kimberly. is a part of the wall a wall? i don't know if that can be a wall. it's got to be a whole wall, right? part of a wall, you can get around it. >> okay. you can't get through that part. i mean, i think it is going to get built because he's staked his whole presidency was all about the wall, build the wall. so i think he's going to get it done. i don't know, i take him for his word, conversations that it's going to get done. and one way or the other, sure, yes, he's going to get it paid for. i'm less concerned about who pays for it, i'm more concerned that it actually gets built and is part of an overall deterrent for people come anything that would, you know, break laws and just having this revolving door of offenders. i saw it up close and personal, san francisco and los angeles district attorney's office, and you as the prosecutor even asking someone what their true identity was, and they'd lie and

go back out and reoffend. greg: i don't even to have two aliases. >> i have three. greg: kat, you like walls. >> i have a few of them myself. greg: you build up a wall around you. >> anytime anyone tries to love me, i build my own wall. [laughter] i agree with you, though, that trump is the wall. greg: yes. >> i agree with you. it's kind of like how bars will hire tough looking bouncers -- greg: yes. >> and they're not just strong, they have to be tough looking. i knew you were -- >> you can be adorable and tough. >> there are plenty of spray tan fitness coaches that are probably strong enough to deal with the conflict, but they don't look tough. that's why you don't see them out there. you have the intimidate them so nothing happens. greg: that is a good point. can i add to that? i had a bar metaphor. it's like you've been drinking for free at a bar because your buddy is the bartender, so you go in there, and all of a sudden

you show up, and they fired your buddy and hired a no nonsense pro, so you stop going to the bar. that's what happened -- >> that happens to me all the time. greg: i'm running out of places to drink. it's just me and dobbs. >> peanut of the night. greg: knee -- peanut of the night. up next, isis calls the president an idiot. that'll show him. [applause] oh, how was the open house? so good! did you apply? oh, i'll do it later today. your credit score must be amazing. my credit score? credit karma. it's free. that's great! um hm. just whip bam boom, it's done. that apartment is mine! credit karma. give yourself some credit.

sfx: road noise sfx: tires screeching sfx: horn honking father: you pull in front of me!

daughter: daddy! we don't say words like that! ♪just let your love flow ♪like a mountain stream ♪and let your love grow ♪with the smallest of dreams ♪then let your love show ♪and you'll know what i mean ♪ ♪ greg: this week an isis spokesman released a 37-minute audio message calling president trump a foolish idiot. we pause now to play all 37 minutes. [laughter]

[applause] greg: oh, those poor 72 virgins. anyway, he said, quote: the guy, the spokesman said you, america, are bankrupt, and the signs of your demise are evident to every eye. there is no clearer sign of you being ruled by a foolish idiot who does not know what levant or iraq or islam is. well, that is just hurtful and nonsensical. anyway, meanwhile, some grad students at harvard have launched what they're calling a resistance school to fight the president's agenda. they say a four week program is like double doors army from the harry potter novels where they intend to, quote, sharpen the tools we need to fight back at the federal, state and local levels. we went to one of them for comment. [laughter] [applause]

greg: all right, yeah, i know. k.g., what happens when harvard and isis are thinking the same way, when they actually think the enemy is the president and not some kind of, i don't know, other enemy? the enemy should be isis. >> well, that's a big problem, clearly, so you should go to a community college where you can get a much better education and don't come out brainwashed like that. let them do what they're going to do, but i don't think president trump's sweating them. greg: no, i know, i don't think he's keeping himself up at night wondering what the double door army is doing. >> yes, exactly. greg: i can predict in 5-10 years they'll be waiting tables at mar-a-lago. actually, they won't be able to the get a job there because the people there are quite qualified. rob, can i ask you a tangential question to syria? does the strike help or hurt isis? because there are people saying, oh, the people we hit or hurting isis, so we helped isis? >> well, no. they're going to say that regardless.

granted, isis was sort of formed as a resistance to assad, but there's a lot of different factions, shia, sunni, all kinds of civil war type stuff going on. you know what's scary? this isis spokesman is sort of right because president trump is the only one who understands what levant is. they just keep losing all their power. they lost like 70,000 fighters and they're going to get it handed to them, and they'll dress up like women. when i see them face to face, they run. >> little cry babies. they run home to their goats. [laughter] [applause] >> i didn't even need to finish it. you nailed it. greg: don't knock the goats. they're very loving. they'll eat anything. the goats will eat anything, kat. anything. they like you. they'll eat spaghetti out of a can. >> yeah. [laughter] this is my concern --

>> yeah. >> doesn't isis know that the word "idiot" is a microaggression? greg: it's true. >> it is, because in the 1800s they used it the describe people with mental delays. greg: that's i true. >> i was on the fence about isis, this is too far! greg: right. [laughter] >> round 'em up, diversity training, there you go. greg: that might actually be the worst punishment for isis. >> get in the vibe -- >> you were asking about the thing with the missiles. like, president trump launched 60 missiles in, like, 30 minutes, and that was kind of a -- wait until he launches a few omarosas at 'em? >> just one will do it. [laughter] >> the come a hawks were -- tomahawks were an appetizer, right? greg: tyrus, what do you make of this. >> i remember when i was a kid you could only go to harvard if you were really smart. it was, like, a big deal. greg: yeah.

>> i just think we've become so spoiled, certain parts of our population, and they can talk a good game about anything. but even if they were going to -- even if donald trump hit them, cool, finish your four week course, meet me on the grassy knoll with your ten best, they'd be like, what? [laughter] [applause] you know, they'll go to their safe spaces. he was threatening me, and i was trying to have a dialogue, and -- [laughter] greg: you know how shameless it would be if he said i'm offering you a job. you could be on the new celebrity apprentice, they'll say, yes! >> no, they won't, because mom and dad are paying their tuition. so i don't need your job, bro, i don't need it. not until those checks are cut off, then they would have a problem. greg: cut 'em off, i say. >> yeah. greg: all right. coming up. pepsi yanks their controversial ad, but the celebrities tweeting about it are just as bad. short answer, yes. long answer, yes. long answer, yes. [applause]

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♪ ♪ greg: that pepsi ad got people mad. ♪ we are the chosen, we're going to shine through the dark. ♪ we are the movement.

[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ greg: her dad and mom and new mom -- [laughter] not happy. to summarize, to summarize, kendall jenner leads a protest, hands a riot cop a soda, and world peace ensues. who i knew it could be that easy. of course, the ad is terrible and forced, but so are all the celebrities criticizing it, like madonna who tweeted: when you wake up and realize that [bleep] just really doesn't make sense. remember, she's also the woman who recently said this -- >> yes, i have thought an awful lot about blowing up the white house.

greg: anyway, pepsi pulled the ad and apologized saying, quote: pepsi was trying to project a global message of unity, peace and understanding. clearly, we missed the mark, and we apologize. we also apologize for putting kendall jenner in this position. anyway, what a bunch of wimps. [laughter] now i hate pepsi even more. meanwhile, the team has created a new spot to run in its place. ♪ ♪ [laughter] >> pepsi. [laughter] [applause] greg: makes sense to me. kat, okay, i believe that the ad simply does what the critics do, which is kind of like the fake

her row women. -- heroism. she just is cuter. >> yeah, and put her in what position? she still gets the money that she can spend $100,000 on each eyebrow. you can see why it's offensive. it'd be like sending the message to a victim of police brutality, if only you'd had a pepty -- greg: right. >> i was in grade school, we had to do fake commercial, and we did a fake pep is city commercial, and we just danced around to a britney spears song with a bunch of pepsis, and we should have gotten a way better grade because it turns out we were way smarter at marketing than these top executives. they had to know this would happen. greg: kimberly, it reveals the shallow stupidity of the creators in plain sight. when you're watching it, you can see how dumb they are that they actually thought this would work. >> but are they? >> well, they're getting the press they want. >> it's a conspiracy. >> exactly! that's what i love about it. [applause]

>> i liked what madonna did because she took a picture all in red, and she was holding a can of coke. i feel bad for the can because apparently it came back with a fake british accent and the clap. [laughter] >> oh, my god. the hit, they just keep on coming. [applause] greg: she said she wanted to blow up the white house. i think that's a little worse. >> she'll be fine. greg: yeah, i think she'll move on. [applause] >> we're missing the greatness and the unity that this commercial brought together. [laughter] the internet and the world p finally figured out the jenners are not talented people -- [laughter] they suck. they're the worst example for any young girl out there. >> really? >> she can barely walk because she's so prosthetic. >> really? >> and i will bet anything that the meeting when they came up with the commercial, actually, we've got our own idea. what you got? i'm going to give a coke to a guy, and he's going to be so

happy. and the people at pepsi are like, okay. that's what the jenners do. they pay to be on tv. they're not talented! and all the trolls got together. we literally could have had trolls holding hands like that coke commercial all around the world going this is terrible. you guys are not talented. [laughter] please stop. go back to your hotels, lock the door, get facelifts and leave us alone. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: i am going to wrap with this. i think i -- the thing that bugs me about this is that pepsi pulled the ad because they pissed off the cool people. they wouldn't have done it -- if they were making fun of trump voters or, i don't know, evangelicals or whoever and they got mad, pepsi would go, we're fine with it. but because edgy protesters, activists, celebrities were upset, they pulled it. i will not drink pepsi until -- unless, of course, i'm thirsty. [laughter] i'm boycotting pepsi for an hour. [laughter] up next, good news, you'll be happy one day.

bad news, not until you're 70. so we've got about 49 years for me to go brian, i just need to know if the customer app will be live monday. can we at least analyze customer traffic? can we push the offer online? brian, i just had a quick question. brian? brian... legacy technology can handcuff any company. but "yes" is here. you're saying the new app will go live monday?! yeah. with help from hpe, we can finally work the way we want to. with the right mix of hybrid it, everything computes. is america's number-one you kmotorcycle insurer! best bike i ever owned! no, you're never alone, because our claims reps are available 24/7. we even cover accessories and custom parts. we diget an early start! took the kids to soccer practice. you want me to jump that cactus? all right. aah!

that lady's awesome. i don't see a possum! ♪i hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow♪ ♪and each road leads you where you want to go♪ ♪if it's cold outside ♪show the world the warmth of your smile♪ ♪but more than anything ♪more than anything ♪my wish for you ♪is that this life becomes all that you want it to♪ ♪your dreams stay big, your worries stay small♪ ♪you never need to carry more than you can hold♪ ♪and while you're out there gettin where you're gettin to♪ ♪i hope you know somebody loves you♪ ♪and wants the same things too♪ ♪yeah, this is my wish

♪this is my wish

>> if you'll be in new york city and would like free tickets to be part of our studio audience, e-mail gregtix@foxnews.com. greg: a british survey finds that 63% of people over age 70 are happier than they have ever been. they think it means more time for hobbies and no longer caring what people think. but why wait? can't we all just identify as 70 right now? [laughter] kat timpf hit the streets to see if americans agree. >> no wonder i'm so miserable. i still have 42 more years to go. i don't want to wait that long. i'm going to try to figure out how i can start being 70 now. i'm not very happy, and i'm like, oh, maybe it's because i'm not 70.

do you think it's okay for me to start identifying as 70 because i want to start being happy now? >> yeah, it's fine. >> what kind of stuff do you think about now instead of things you had to think about before? >> nothing. >> nice. thinking about nothing is my favorite. do you worry less? >> i never worried very much. >> wow. i would have no idea what that would be like. >> when was the last time you had to do something you really didn't want to do? wow. i would have an answer way faster than that. [laughter] you guys seem really happy and excited. is it because you're thinking about how awesome it's going to be when you're 70? >> no. >> no. of course not. >> when you get super old, you get to do a lot more sitting. >> that's definitely true. >> i love sitting. >> sitting is my favorite thing. >> me too. >> we have a wonderful marriage and three wonderful children and five grandchild and another one on the way. >> i have a cat.

you don't think i should start identifying as a 70-year-old now in. >> not at all. identify the era and the age at which you're at. you'll be much happier. >> be much happier. >> don't look ahead and don't look back. >> i think one of the great things about being older is i bet you nobody ever asks you if your glasses are real. [laughter] >> no, nobody ever asks me that. >> that would be nice. >> and a good thing for me is now that i'm not working regularly, i have more time to watch "the greg gutfeld show." >> that's excellent. you do, indeed. i didn't want even tell him to say that. -- i didn't even tell him to say that. i may be 28, but i'm 55 on the inside, and i can't wait any longer to begin playing couples' beginner darts. [laughter] greg: we've got to go, but if rachel doll sal can identify as black and sean king can, why can't you identify as a 70-year-old? >> i'm 070, and if you don't

respect that, you're a bigot. greg: all right. thanks to kimberly, rob, kat and tyrus. [cheers and applause] thanks to the studio audience. [cheers and applause]