world is her dog. i miss mickey moto, lancelot does as well. thank you for watching and thank you for caring. have a good night. >> i don't like lou dobbs. >> i knew we stayed too long. greg: you are wrong, man. lou dobbs is a beautiful man. yes, remember this? >> i will build a great, great wall on our southern border and i will have mexico pay for that

wall? my words. greg: well, it is now this: >> the wall will come later. we are renovating large sections, massive sections and making a brand-new were doing a lot of renovations and we are building for different samples of the wall to see which one we are going to choose and the wall is going to be built. greg: that is quite a shift. it is like he went from this -- to this.

yeah, he's easy. some are outraged including and culture. she feels betrayed. it's playing out like a loved one action flick. >> it takes a stand up guy to sit down with the other side. will he lose the one woman who stood by him through thick and thin. >> so far i give him an a+. >> will he pay the ultimate price for making new friends? donald trump, c-uppercase-letter, chuck schumer as nigel. angering ann coulter. greg: you don't want to do that. for in. we love and.

before you panic do this exercise. when you think president has let you down, consider the alternative. >> having said all this, why aren't i 50 points ahead by that? greg: imagine hearing that voice for four years. do you feel a little better now? [cheering] i should be a therapist. the way i look at it is donald trump is like the "star wars" franchise, sure there are movies within it that you love but there are that you don't but on the whole the series of films leaves you with a pretty good feeling. , this guy is a salesman in it simple. the democrats want the dreamers to stay in one of the criminals out. like both sides can have their way so they negotiate. let's take daca, 800,000 dreamers knows there's no way you can send them all back but instead of writing it off he made daca valuable by treating

it to get something for months which is on the wall which is the state border security prints real estate agents to this observational you a house that is way out of your budget so they can move you just a little outside your budget to get something from you by pretending to give up something that they never had. always asks for more that he knows he will get and he does it in a way that starts the conversation, the kind that didn't catch the media's attention until he forced their hand. that was dropped going back on his promise on the wall or was the wall is one way of raising the issue thing build a wall is just a catchier way of saying pixar borders. saying i love you is way better than saying i have a biological attraction to you that may wear off at some point. [laughter] yet, sometimes they mean the same thing. so, mexico says they won't wall interview the democrats to help fund it so he sits down to dinner with his new pals chuck and nancy or chancey where they ate chinese food and chocolate

pie. how weird is that's work is like a hot fudge on spaghetti. but, anyway, trump sounds like he will give into daca which is what he will do anyway if you get forecast for the border which could be spent on the wall. after all this division, they are trying to work together. and we are not used to it and it's like watching a dog a cat. [laughter] it is not natural in its rare and like watching one of those nature shows where jack haner is walking in the wild in this happens. >> 20 feet of me is licking a beast. the pupil waterhole. no, no. greg: not that tough, are you? that is what is happening now. you see something rare and we are picking out but we should is

pretty sure, this is a strange trip we are on but as long as believe donald trump has america's best interest at heart, he can handle the ride especially when you consider who might have been in that car with you otherwise. >> having said all this, why aren't i 50 points ahead, you might ask. greg: feel better? yeah, that was pretty good. let's welcome the guest. he is so smart, he got out of politics. former utah congressman and fox news contributor. his wit is drier than the back of an older stamp. writer in comedian joe. she puts the ms. in miserable, cats and.

and a blimp is his pillow, my massive psychic, tyrus. you have to stick around for the d block because we have a great one coming up on hillary. jason, this is what i find interesting about this one. where are my notes? okay. it's not just donald trump feeling backlash from the right, the people like ann coulter but pelosi and schumer are feeling it from there left leg as well. they think they gave away a lot of stuff to donald so isn't that a good sign of compromise when both extremes are really ticked off. >> it first to hold bubble of the democratic talking points in the idea that we do have a conversation with donald trump so the idea that they actually might get something in return, the funding is going to come from congress and doesn't require legislation but the law has to go through congress and that is what they have to get on skype joe, they met with hitler

and it worked out. how will they call him hitler now? >> the main thing i'm taking away from this is it's time to make that move on ann coulter. [laughter] yeah, he is playing them and it's hard to see what his long game is but i think he will get get what he wants and it sounds like he says will work with an existing wall but i think it is good news because when you look at daca their requirements for daca. you have to have a clean record and you have to stay in school and these are good people and if you work out a compromise to that, i think it's good for america. you can tell because former president of america is training that these are such wonderful people and if they're so great why did you try to keep them in your country to help your own country. greg: i often think that if they're leaving the country they are smart. >> yeah, they are getting out.

greg: the reason why america is so successful is that we took the risk takers but everyone that came over here was like i'm getting out of there and so -- i'm more of an embracing type of person, cat, i really do feel for everyone and we knew that this was a scott adams points that doctor was never going to go away. he turned it into a trading piece that he used in this negotiation. was that smart or did it backfire? >> i think it was. anyone that was paying attention would realize that this daca isn't a flip-flop at all. he never said i don't want these people to stay here but he said that constitutionally the legislator has to do it if they have to stay here for real and president obama said it was a temporary thing and that's a great thing. first of all, the feelings argument, in itself if you are a kid in your parents say we are

moving, you can't say no, i am not going. you go. at least that is how it worked in my family but also, economically as well these are people that are contributing to the economy and they had jobs and will cost 60 billion to deport them so the smart economic decision. greg: it would cost 60 billion to deport them you can have them deport themselves and increase jobs. anyway. >> i don't think that is how that works. greg: half could deport the others so you create jobs for 400,000. >> are you going to pick fight them to see who is deported? greg: that is in the next segment. will president trump be the most strangest uniter in us history? >> i don't know if he is the strangest uniter but he took a page out of the dating book. he's been in this love affair with republican party for a long time and then he said i think of the other people. we are not over. i'm just going to have dinner with them. [laughter] and then on twitter they had chocolate cake and we had chocolate cake.

i think this is not something the deal, he gets it and he knows that daca is a good thing for them to stay in his face is like no, we said everyone has to go but this is what it is. this is to me his first real test as president. he will have to meet in that gray area. when you are leading and this is why he's in that leadership role, it's not always going to be the way you planned it. what he said on the campaign trail is a perfect world that's what he wanted for his face but in the real world, where every time a president makes a decision, good or bad, someone is always hurt. there is no -- whenever he finds something someone will lose something so you hope that it's the majority and it's a tough call. he looked at the field, he saw hey, this daca thing is not really what i campaigned about but it's the right thing to do.

he's showing real leadership and at the same time sticking to the republican party who is dragging their feet to get things done. greg: he had everybody. well done. i'm troubled by the whole dinner and the fact that how could you have a dinner with chuck and nancy without drinking. [laughter] number one, that's impossible, number two you can't blame booze for your mistake. if there is no booth around, that's why there should always be drinking because then you can blame the alcohol. coming up, hillary wrote a book and she won't shut up about it. neither will be. [cheering] each year sarah climbs 58,007 steps.

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greg: hillary's book has arrived. [laughter] so, like the small intestine, her book is divided into three parts. could have, should have, would

have. she said this to trump and she could've said this to bernie or she would have said that to obama but no, instead she held it in like a 112 month part. in the book she finally let it out and boy does it stink. like every show, that's been doing this book will run some audio excerpts, well, sort of. >> in the family room we put up a colorful pacing of the balloon drop of the democratic national convention. over the fireplace i hung a vintage suffragette banner that market had given me that declared votes for women. i also finally saw the last season of downton abbey. that show always reminds me of the night i spent in buckingham palace in 2011 during president obama state business in a room just down the hall from the balcony where the queen waves the crowd. by thanksgiving, the work on the house is done and everything is

perfect for our friends and family to send it for dinner. my mind wandered back to that incredible day when bill took the oath of office for the first time. greg: you have to hand it to her, no one is made more money off losing than hillary. that includes danny ozment. nutrisystem. now she has the book and she's making the rounds like a jehovah's witness in a pantsuit. [laughter] if only she worked this hard for the presidency and we wouldn't have this book about how she lost the presidency. what a great example of strong womanhood. she blames everyone but herself for her loss. comey, russia, sanders, the american voter and she spread blame like her husband spreads -- anyway, it's like she is on some weird drugs. >> have you made thousands of people cry all at once?

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greg: the only thing work wearing them for excuses is her and sense of entitlement. she actually bought a home in next to her house for the white house staff that she expected while she vacations. imagine that was what she didn't just pick out the curtains but she picked out the [bleep] house. now it's expensive counts for bill to sleep on. alone, i think. judging by her book, she's affected by the very bug she helped to spread. the 200 bidding americans against each other she created other limits of grievances in the division didn't add up for her. now she is the biggest victim of them all. this ever happened before? did anyone who lost the presidency write a book like this? did ford or dukakis or dole? well, she said she wanted to be a first. she is. though, not in the way she expected. joe, is this the best way for her to handle her loss was

short. >> i haven't read the book because no one has offered to hold a gun to my head. it's a nice piece of hillary clinton fan fiction written by her number one fan where she talks about her coping message and she said she practiced open nostril breathing which i think any of us would do the same thing if you're that full of [bleep] [laughter] she also says she's infected with responsibility gene, clearly recessive in her case because she blames everyone but herself and she was the problem. that election was hers to lose and she lost the candidate that came out of nowhere was never even been a man in mayor or dogcatcher in america looked at her and said we will take anyone else over you and she can't accept the fact. greg: jason, do you think that's what this book is selling people want to read it but is it like the cliché car accident that people are reading it because it is so sad was work. >> the whole premise and the conclusion is on the cover. why do you need to open it up.

what happened? hillary clinton happen. as long as i don't have to call her president clinton i'm happy. [cheering] greg: tyrus, is she hurting the party by not refusing to stop talking district should she stop talking or is this too entertaining? >> i miss the entertaining part. is there a pop-up book with juggling mark unfortunately, it's a reflection of our time where it's in to be a victim. you can't just lose anymore. can you imagine if ryan was still losing about the super bowl. he lost the damn super bowl if she wasn't even in the fourth quarter. for some of the other guys who iran like george bush senior # ross perot ruined my life or john mccain and sarah palin, what happened? al gore's book [bleep] to. we live -- i won't be a part of

this. you lost, move on. this is unheard of. she's still crying. greg: trump should do a quick publishing a book that says you lost, move on and it says nothing in there. that would be funny people. >> page one, move on. why are you still flipping pages? omg, this is still a joke and you still haven't done. greg: that's a really good idea. kat, someone will still that idea watching the show and we won't make any money off of it. >> lovably but to be a victim and be a successful victim you have to be relatable and i was watching anderson cooper interview and she is the least relatable person to the point where i can't believe she is human. she said she felt during her public life that she was on a high wire without a net. the dnc rigged the primary in your favor, how is that not and that's. when i think of the times in my

life i didn't have a net i was like a boston market cashier sleeping on couches. that is not a net. you have a throne and the people were caring you around on and you still messed it up and she said i am a huge fan of late ms. who isn't? literally all other people. we all like beer and reality tv and people have seen but that's what she thanks people are sitting around and talking about, she needs to stop. she is not relatable enough for ever of us. >> keep going. i hope she runs again. greg: we have to move on but i love this -- she went to chipotle was talking about what happened in the police she said sometimes a burrito bowl is just a burrito bowl and that's playing on the sigmund freud classic ryan that phallic imagery something is a cigar is just a cigar. i don't think she realized what that meant and what kind of imagery that puts in her head.

when i put questions in cigars in the same sentence. i don't think she made the connection but for some reason, i did. still to come, ben shapiro goes in berkeley goes to hell. a heart attack can happen without warning. a bayer aspirin regimen can help prevent another heart attack. be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. bayer aspirin. are made with smarttrack®igners material to precisely move your teeth to your best smile. see how invisalign® treatment can shape your smile up to 50% faster today at invisalign.com ♪ i'm living that yacht life, life, life ♪ ♪ top speed fifty knots life on the caribbean seas ♪ ♪ it's a champagne and models potpourri ♪ ♪ on my yacht made of cuban mahogany, ♪

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the paris agreement. this after a report in the wall street journal that the white house would not pull out of the deal. critics of the deal say it unfairly limit jobs and economic growth in the us. white house presbytery our position on the paris agreement has not changed. potus has been clear that us withdrawing unless we get pro- america term. some residents are returning to the florida keys for the first time since irma struck. a group returns to marathon on saturday, 12 that expands to key west and lower keys. officials warn that power, water and other services are still spotty and at least 25% of homes are still destroyed and crews are still looking for those missing. i'm patty and brown, back to the greg gutfeld show.

greg: uc berkeley are down, what exactly was coming to town? massive earthquake, category six hurricane eight meteor strike killing everyone with a nose ring so they were doing the puppy for this guy. >> spent $99 a year for the annual subscription is the work that for the monthly and then you will be guaranteed to get all of those things plus the smith plastic tumbler. greg: that was what berkeley was preparing for ben shapiro. that little fella with a squeaky voice. when cal berkeley played host to his fees by the conservative radio show host the deal with protesters the school beefed-up security to the tune of $600,000. the school also shut down the buildings and barricaded the halls where shapiro spoke and leading up to the speech told students and faculty to seek counseling. how pathetic. pathetic. these measures weren't about accommodating shapiro or free speech but about accommodating

people afraid of speech. here is the crowd chanting outside shapiro's speech about his speech being violence. that is confusing. if speech is violence, shouldn't they shut up? i think it is safe to say that these are not bright people. kat, thank you, you can plot any time. [applause] speech is violence, kat. >> no, it isn't. also, i don't think these kids are really afraid of him or really were worried but i think they were just going along with it because they think it's cool and hip and i found proof of that. can we bring that up real quick. been a sharp euro is not welcome here. i know for a fact that if you don't take them if you don't try

to know their name then you don't pay them at all. [applause] a lot of people are debating whether or not he is too offensive or that's not even the argument. the argument is that they still have first amendment rights matter what. free speech. i'd be much more afraid where it's not being protected of any speaker. greg: tyrus, there are people all over the world that are suffering the refugees, they compare and they don't need counseling but they try to find a job and work. these kids are embarrassing. >> the woman who iran for the presidency of the united states is doing the same thing. i'm not going to mention her name because i don't want to get food but it's a state of victimhood. i don't want to hear what he has to say because it'll hit my

special place. when i grew up you kept your special place in your special place. you didn't, no one can hurt it. it's become -- it's defeating that it becomes a cost money to speak my. if i don't like what he has to say, i won't go. [applause] that's it. greg: even if i like what he had to say i still wouldn't go because i'm lazy. i just would not get up and go. jason, if i were the parents i would completely cut them off financially because if they are out there protesting speech i have raised a terrible child. >> and the government, we all pay for it and supplement this $600,000 for security and the irony that these are the people who preach the most tolerance but they're the least tolerant of everybody. [applause]

five they expected a lot of violence and it didn't happen and there were only nine arrest. the reason why it was so benign was because the police enforced the rule. suddenly one of these [bleep] crimes because they couldn't wear a mask. >> that's the same type of laws they prevented the kkk from assembling. they are [bleep] and they only flex when they are in mobs like that and the idea that they would say that their violence is considered a speech and your speech is considered violence is like a red 1984 and thought it was a handbook of how to conduct yourself. also they purple. the language of actual victims. they say brace yourself for ben shapiro but we have people who are planning hurricanes are now in their saying to show me on your swimsuit line that it was a bad idea of touched you. >> where did you get those bruises from? harsh language.

greg: university of utah there are some students they are couple radical groups are planning to disrupt another shapiro speech september 27. the best university presidents to cancel and these are fanatics but i have to say if they enforced this romance grew from there one there will be no more violent. >> also all these idiots are making him incredibly popular. greg: yeah, now shapiro is a superstar but he won't return my calls but that is okay. i love you, ben. coming up, should kid rock be our next president? and who would be his vice president? diabetes can be a daily struggle, even if you're trying your best. along with diet and exercise, once-daily toujeo® may help you control your blood sugar. get into a daily groove. ♪ let's groove tonight. ♪ share the spice of life. ♪ baby, slice it right. from the makers of lantus®,

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the rocker made his first senate campaign speech stating front of a podium flanked by two. [inaudible] and accompanied by pyrotechnics and music. political campaigning may be entering a new era. kid rock began his speech with policy notes. >> what is going on in the world today? seems the government wants to get everyone health insurance but wants us all to pay. greg: my goodness. then he had the strongest were possible for neo-nazis. >> call me a racist, because i'm not pc and thank you have to remind me that black lives matter. nazis [bleep] and i would [bleep] the kkk. stay the hell away. greg: he ended with suggesting he may be running for president one day. >> if it's kid rock for senate, got some folks in disarray, way to lay here kid rock for the president of the usa.

wouldn't be a sight to see president kid rock in washington dc? standing on the oval office like a g. greg: i'm sorry. how is it even possible to compete with that? good luck, democrats. although they have already started looking for their candidates. [inaudible] greg: martin o'malley. and we all have forgotten you. jason, is trumpet changed the way future politicians will -- that could work. i couldn't think of anyone that could be that. >> that is the real moment for

me was during the mitt romney campaign and kid rock did a lot for mitt romney and to see them talking about policy was blowing my mind. i think i hope he runs in michigan. he could win that race. greg: oh he could win. >> if he wants to be a senator in michigan, i'm from michigan, he has to be one thing and get his name on the ballot. he will win. he will one 100% win. i'm calling it right now that he will win. think about michigan, trump one michigan and ernie one. they were -- kid rock will be a senator if he runs. greg: with men, he will get men but with women, he'll get women. [laughter] what he won't get our beta male students and blog editors at the huffington post in angry unemployed activists. i got elated that he will get 98.5% of the votes. [applause] tyrus, this guy is taking

professional wrestling into politics. >> no, he did not. he's a singer. he ain't no wrestler. donald trump did that. trump actually wrestled and that we cut a promo. what he is trying to deal -- here's the deal, donald trump is a unicorn. donald trump is a pony. you can't do what donald did. >> do you want to bet? >> i will bet -- $2. when donald made mistakes or when anything from his past was brought up he owned it. fired back on you. it's already starting and they had him with a didn't used to perform at -- i'm not talking you. you have to own and you are a wild rock 'n roll child and you did the drugs and partying and you have to own it and turn it around and throw back at them not i'm not talking you guys. that will work. you can't be a donald trump

because there's only one donald trump. he -- that formula will work for anybody else. [applause] it'll be cool and they will laugh about it but if you can't back up that stuff with substance, great rap with qatar doesn't work in the mainstream. nothing he said i was like he just said a bunch of soundbites. greg: i disagree but i have to move on. i could schwarzenegger, jesse ventura and a lot of unusual people got into politics. >> but they had strong messages. greg: you have to watch his will speech rejects a single fathers. it's pretty impressive. you know what i said was. >> i like watching just him talking about being president with a hot babe on your side and all i could picture was the single tear down the cheek of bill clinton thinking he was a generation off.

well, you know, i think what we have learned is that we are so used to politicians lying to us and not coming through with it that we are almost cool with the line part expecting that they won't come through so give us a better lies and give us better nonsense up front and maybe it will happen. maybe it will work out. >> senator kid rock, it is happening. greg: i don't think there's any celebrities in michigan to go up against the does no one live from mc five. remember that band? >> wayne kramer. >> he's a felon though, he can run. greg: that didn't stop the entire democratic party coming up, the hall of fame nominees are here. [cheering] gain flings! laundry detergent.

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greg: that. >> cars, transformers, has dispensers, i've had trips to the er involving all of them. [laughter] i fell on them. there are 12 finalists find place in the national toy hall of fame. other contenders for the hall of class of 2017 include the paper airplane. that's for poor people. sand. who plays with sand? play food. ever heard of it. and the board games, risk and clue for the nerds and then you have the magic eight ball which was for the creeps and you had

my little pony, the card came to know and of course, the wiffleball. all right, congressman, which toy deserves immortality in the hall of fame. keep it clean. >> stretch armstrong. [applause] it is a classic and how can a silly putty not be compared to. greg: it might already be in the hall of fame. silly putty is the beatles. stretch armstrong touched millions of children how to torture. >> i tried to make that thing bleed. greg: i will pull it more and more, terrible us in. joe, what is your pet? >> i would go with stretch monster which was stretch armstrong's nemesis with which is a green monster like that and in the summer they would get loopy because they would get to soft and you have to put them in the refrigerator for a while and they if you swung them at a friend it was like a club. greg: that is interesting. kat, did you have quote toys

going up or did they lock you in a closet? >> i like to catch bras and play with different things. sand is not a toy. how is sand a toy? how? greg: sand castles? >> just because kids play with it doesn't mean it's a toy otherwise boogers would be on the number one list. logic is irrefutable. >> it is not beach sand. it's an actual -- my daughter still plays with it. they build shapes and sticks to the floor but you pick it up and it's actually very cool. >> i read the article. greg: what about you? mech this is tough for me because i still play with toys, as a parent and as a collector. i still mess around with stuff but for me, it was transformers or wiffleball but i still actually have a wiffleball in fat in my truck.

i use to play and i literally have one in my truck. greg: do you know what is hilarious but that is if you get into an altercation -- if you walk out with a willful fat because they'll still be with terrified because it is you. >> i don't really need a weapon. greg: thank god, it's not a weapon. >> i carry to weapons at all times and it's like the wiffleball that will change things. greg: my toys, i like the dirt clod. you can never go wrong with the dirt clod. it's free and it ruins are close if you thrown at them and i enjoyed the dirt clod. i'm also the only person i know that collected wacky packages. they were stickers and came in a package and they were a parody of products. they were like thai detergent would be snide detergent and they would come up with that stiff piece of gum and it was brittle and had no taste and you

can slice someone's face with it. >> we had garbage pail kids. greg: that came later. >> shrinking thanks. greg: you don't have to call me names. what about -- >> slinky. greg: what about -- >> see monkeys. >> my friend knocked over my see monkeys and i'm still upset about it. greg: it was kind of a toy. >> now, they were playing guitars and separate they were shrimp. >> they were alive until adam knocked them over. greg: you are getting them mixed up with the horses. >> it was in a monkey. greg: everything you sent away from the back of the magazine was a lie. >> x-ray glasses. greg: they never worked. >> then you had to live with the shame of being the kid that ordered the glasses.

greg: and caught in this year's dressing room wearing them. >> lost you there. greg: sears. i use to buy clothes at sears. final thoughts, next. i still do. [cheering] ♪ this is a story about mail and packages. and it's also a story about people. people who rely on us every day to deliver their dreams they're handing us more than mail they're handing us their business and while we make more e-commerce deliveries to homes than anyone else in the country, we never forget... that your business is our business the united states postal service. priority: you ♪

it can seem like triggers pop up everywhere.

luckily there's powerful, 24-hour, non-drowsy claritin. it provides relief of symptoms that can be triggered by over 200 different allergens. live claritin clear. greg: i shall see you on monday at five at 9:00 p.m. eastern. we are running out of time. so,. >> what you wanted to say all the show but you haven't had a chance. here is your chance to say it right now. greg: jason, half. >> hats off to mason wells in the brussel bombing in 2016 the sky was hit by an improvised explosive device, terrorist attack and he in turn for me and now he is entering the naval academy. greg: fantastic. [applause] greg: joe,. >> i feel a real shock going on after that. big shows coming up on long

island, maguires comedy club on the 29th and 30th and go to my website for full clips and stuff. >> i would like to say that ted bundy was ahead of her time. i think she was a trend setter and watching the show that she said it like it was and she didn't do what she wanted to do and spent time in high heels works. greg: true that last but not least, kat. >> i am seriously considering adopting a 5-foot lizard. walking into my home second name him pierogi and i'm worried that i have no one in my life close enough to convince me not to. greg: that that. who owns the rest tile? >> there at reptile expos that i may or may not go to those. greg: thank you. thank you to the studio

audience. now. jesse: "watters world" is on. did you make enough mistakes yourself to lose the election? >> i would say no. i don't think that would surprise you. jesse: watters words will tell you what happened. >> thanks antifa for exposing what the radical left is, you pathetic lying jackasses. ben hah pirro joins us. >> do you have a person to buy you