-underscore jenny. you never have to missed justice. set your dvr. happy thanksgiving to all my justice viewers. this thursday donate to much turkey. the gregg gutfeld shows next. i'll be here next saturday night. see them. >> we are all going to die. [laughter] donald trump is back from the long trip away in asia. i'm so happy i missed him. i hope he brought us some gifts. remember that when dad would come back from conference and brought you a toy? my dad did a lot of traveling. i never knew why. no matter what, he brought home a gift for me and my sisters.

he got me a fund all. [laughter] on a trip to cleveland. it gave me body lice. [laughter] then there is this neat sleeping pod from detroit. he would put me in there for emergency naps. a medical chair from chicago. oh, how at her. so i guess the president trump bring us? he had a very productive meetings with world leaders so he brought home stronger ties with our allies. we got china descendent envoy to korea. we move the ball forward and it's on our terms. compared to president obama's idea we apologize and they burn

only half of our flag. [laughter] then basketball players caught shoplifting in china. boo, yes. terrible. it's embarrassing for us. our chinese products that much better than ours? what part of shoplift america first on you understand? shoplifting is bad unless it's a hot topic. i kid. hot topic. there's nothing worth stealing there. and their employees are so gloomy. clearly, someone had a face. trump stepped in and got the players out. and then wondered if he would get a thank you from the freed ucl basketball players. he got this. >> president trump in the united states government, thank you for taking the time to intervene on our behalf. we appreciate you helping us out. >> i like to think president trump and the united states government for the help they provided. >> thank you to the united states government and present trump for your efforts to wrestle.

[applause] >> greg: you can tell this will prepare. and then he tweeted a two-page you're welcome to them. have a great life he said be careful out there. that's not your buddy dad doing that, that's the president of the united states. then he chided the players for not thinking the chinese leader because they are awesome. the world is not like us and in america that's conflated with protests. elsewhere, you can lose a hand, which i don't condone sometimes. what did the media focus on? [inaudible] [inaudible]

>> it it crashed twitter. let's wash it again. watch it again. >> greg: that is pretty commanding. his like a hawk swooping down to a statutory dog. slowly because he's talking about north korea and the media only sees the water. that's i can joke about life is but a good. not everybody cares when there's breaking news to be broken. >> those teeth are still waiting for them to claim them. somebody left these false teeth in the portland on election day week ago tonight. a very hopeful elections clerk kept them safe. the owner of the teeth has been

found such that he or she is not tcp been a week later. >> greg: definitely more important than trade, north korea wrestling economy. someone forgot their dentures, until they find the owner keep them away from al franken. >> let's welcome to guests. he is so patriotic. pete hegseth. [applause] he sharp and funny like a scalpel. his latest comedy album, writer and comedian, chris reed.

his the lapse of the limited sass. cat and finally, the monster under his bed has nightmares about him. tyrus. [applause] how do you think he did on his trip? what did you like most about him? >> i thought it was great. and the actual asian pivot unlike the other administration said they were going to do never did. the china and their influence as they have economically a military and he scraps tpp which was meant to be a check against china. an international student and traps us more. we level the trade playing field. it's an honest conversation about how they take advantage us

and checking china militarily. i think it's fantastic. it's great to see a world leader stand up and say i represent my country first. [applause] >> greg: chris, what was your take on the basketball thing? >> i like the parental analogy you give. my dad never brought me three basketball players called my creative bullies short and fat while i was gone, but no, is fun because with families he gets to choose which family member he doesn't talk to at home. like uncle roy moore, i have a meeting. not so much. >> but all the bad stuff happened when he was away that happened lies on the trip. >> so, is all had ads taking it

pgh so,. >> i can help a that's a funny joke. >> i got nothing but jeans here and on a business trip. we elected a businessman and this is what happens when businessmen go on business trips. we had eight years of diplomacy. we had eight years of, i'll try better and give you hugs. now it's business. came out very good for america. and was more like a scolding with the basketball kids. if he was allowed to he spanks them like hashed a gas weapon. i think it was great. one thing he did that was phenomenal. he stayed focus which is difficult on the trip.

the media on this side was sufficient for anything to get him to bite and talk and get off task well done. >> his hydration method with a basketball player, what is your overall take? >> about the water thing? is actually fine to drink water. what do we want? a dehydrated president? >> of course we did make fun of marco rubio. but it's fine. i want to know if he drank the water like that in front of the camera does enemies alone? he twisted it like he was twisting the head off of adult. >> or in this case, media guy. >> he has great performer instincts.

he charismatic sips and is making everyone way. >> very eastwood. >> i think it is important and it serving to other people can of water. donald trump, his personality is suited for this kind of job. everyone was looking for him to be a certain way after charlottesville. that's not who he is. he's not give you the group hung but he's going to go out and do a international dr. evils. >> you know he he dealt with it well when the headlines were, this may not be that great and then, the president drinks water. yeah, me too. president feeds the coupon. that is ahead by.

and by the way, i've had it with crayfish. why are you so important? you're still fish. >> you need to apologize apologize to the fish. >> i just don't see the importance. >> greg: republican seem to achieve more in a global front than democrats i think. >> because they believe america is a special place. [applause] >> greg: the other thing i noticed is trump is the confirmation bias flashlight. the matter what happens, if something good happens it's like that it happened, if something

bad happened it's his position. he's evil. something like the best ballplayers, that's bound to happen. >> i think the meaner of them and how they said it is almost as if trump called and said i'm not letting you. >> like yeah thanks to donald trump. we stole some stuff. >> there still suspended. >> yes. as it should be. >> greg: i think we all learned a lesson about shoplifting. stockholder take things that are yours. somebody built that mets turner makes a prophet of it. i didn't shoplift. >> coming up, he has been buying

his time. his time. 2020 could be past his prime. let's begin.

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>> with whom will you be -- if it's trump versus joe? >> vice president joe biden has been talking about his books. he's thinking about running in 2020. >> i have not made up my mind about it. i been around too long to close the door. >> you may be the god, whether you have made up the guy or not. because the thing happen again. >> having said all this, why aren't i 50 points ahead? the dems bench is not too deep. >> you should run. you should. >> greg: i love hurst dance. anyone, or this guy may run and make republicans run choose

between donald and mark. >> are you running or considering? >> i'm out. >> i have my money on the sky. >> i'm out frank minnesota. >> did something happen? >> when you make of this biden versus trump? who would be better for the troops? >> the left would be a food fight of proportions more than the 1720 field. the minneapolis marrow just to speak with al franken, i'm a socialist, no way this. it will be a run like you have never seen. i don't know where someone like joe biden falls. he's part of the old-line democrats will want to look

progressive. he has his own -- that plays into today. i don't see if uncle joe. >> how is your brothers joe biden impression? >> i don't know why this is a question? do you have a brother that does the joe biden impression? >> no, i have a brother doesn't talk to anybody. >> who wrote that question whoever wrote that question, meet me after the show. was your brother doing joe biden impressions? >> for a second i thought, i have to do an impression? >> what you make of this choice? >> what i had submitted i want mark cuban to run.

either way because that means more debates for trump. the more debates, the more entertainment for me. i think he would win. thurman the democrat debates too. let a moderate the democrats, that would be fun meryl streep, she's not doing it. she will star in the lifetime adaptation of what happened, the movie has hillary. she cares too much to do things that actually matter. she'll stay out of it. unlike franken's victim, she is welcome. >> she gave a standing no and referred to harvey weinstein as god. the cat, there's other things, some unusual things about joe

biden, should trump be worried or not? >> i miss the debate. i think it's not fair that we have to wait for elections. there should always be debates. said to with a mug of wine. >> wine glasses are a waste of money. holds liquid the same and one is far more durable. [applause] the people agree with me. >> greg: the only people who drink wine from a mug are charmin living in the basement. >> and they are probably great dudes. >> greg: i don't want to offend them. >> jesse: by and doesn't have a say baggage as clinton, bernie sanders had more of a noninterventionist view. trump was the least hawkish person in the race.

those would be fun debates to watch. >> i think joe biden has of a something like trump. he could get screwed up. >> he said on a boat. he's gonna say maybe i'll run to sell his book. his opportunity to run, he sat down to let hillary. he don't get that back. and i like mr. biden. he has a great family but he had an opportunity to run when he was vice president and he steps decide for nonfiction at it. he was able to be bullied by's party not to run. for him to come and now we will remember that. >> greg: but remember, he stepped aside because his son had passed away and that played a role.

>> there's a lot of pressure. >> greg: i think that was the reason but there may have been other things. i think he could have one at that point. >> joe also was gay for about two years. they said you can talk for a while. we didn't hear or see him at all. we have a vice president, where? >> greg: we need to talk about the naked elephant in the room. ronald kessler's book called the first family detail. how he would like to swim naked at his house including females see secret service agents. maybe he didn't know they were there because they are secret service. in that book he was the second most difficult person to cover as a politician behind obviously, hillary clinton.

>> i'm sell a book and run for president yell. >> is going to be conway. >> greg: still to c andre is an air traffic controller. when it comes to planning the best routes, nobody does it better. he's also a championship-winning football coach. look at that formation. but when it comes to mortgages, he's less confident. fortunately for andre, there's rocket mortgage by quicken loans. it's simple, so he can understand the details and be sure he's getting the right mortgage. apply simply. understand fully. mortgage confidently.

>> greg: i think we found an answer to the mystery from the previous segment. i asked how is your brothers joe biden impression, that question was never steve baldwin for the next show. [applause] somebody's walking out of the building with all their belongings in a cardboard box.

sorry mr. dobbs, didn't work out. you taken a stab at rehab. a new group is looking to have therapy for terrorists. it opened in october. one hundred captured isis fighters are enrolled in the program which includes lectures including islam. media, entertainment, and word weather hot yoga is included. the director tells us everyone has a point of weakness and thinking from which we can get into his ideas and then remove the terrace thought from his brain. >> audiences in buying it. meanwhile once is the best way to deprogram radicals is to keep beating them on the battlefield. no worries, he can hear the applause. so will this work? i believe we have tape of a recent lecture. >> who are you? where do you come from? are you listening to me. what do you want to do with your life? his best role.

>> greg: what you make of this whole idea of rehab? >> my brother alex is a really funny impersonation of the terrace rehab. i was gonna say at least it's a better idea than canada which their program was just given them $10 million for no reason. but i do like picturing the whole situation like my name is mohammed like the rest of you, i am on day 23 if i go to afghanistan. >> nevermind. >> p, you're the expert. so better to change idea or just kill any? i believe the best is martyrdom. [applause]

>> let them have what they want. >> the best rehab for an isis fighter is a tomahawk missile to the face. [applause] i don't know why there any left? ultimately the only loophole you can see is some six-year-old k kid, he's been indoctrinated with a bunch of crap and now he's a weapon with posttraumatic stress. parents are dead, if you can reach back and then you have a chance to turn some around. >> greg: that's a good point. if these are people we just got pulled in because there is nothing else going on, what would you tell them if you had to give a lecture. >> that would be awesome. i'd have a little hand out for bull's-eye the last picture, everyone say cheese.

it's me, there mean, an example, we have catholics and lutherans and jewish faith in this room. where having coughing together commencing want to join your religion, see have echoes i'm betting in a roof appears which mohammed would be like best i can be happen. so you just have all lined up and boom. >> greg: there is a history of deprogramming with colts that happen to be successful. if you look at this as a colt and these are terrorist, can you deprogram a terrace?

>> i did some research for this segment. i found out that with addiction treatment the relapse rate is between 40 and 60%. i'm all about civil liberties and compassionate treatment, however your addiction is to be in a terrace, i don't like those odds. so i say no. [applause] you can persuade them with an alternative lifestyle with a look at that as a humiliation of their present system. their system doesn't work. they watch the world pass them by. see you bring a minute say this is wrong that makes them want to kill you more. it's a reminder that they're being humiliated you had to

destroy isis. >> the only way to reestablish the predominance is to reestablish the caliphate. we tried this at guantánamo bay, cuba. those guys did not want to change their mindset, they wanted to get out so they could kill us. >> i forgot you were a guard at gitmo. how is the food? >> greg: therapy a nice jimmy buffett song about the cheeseburger. cheeseburgers and gitmo. this anything i can do.

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>> greg: they seek to ban what they cannot understand. a group he had a disturbing short film warning about the dangers of fully autonomous weapons. killer robots and drones. this film begins with the military firm that uses facial recognition to kill a single target. >> it has cameras and sensors and does facial recognition. inside is 3 grams of explosives. this is how it works. that little bag is enough to

penetrate the skull and destroy the contents. >> greg: here's what could happen if that weapon falls into the wrong hands. [inaudible] [inaudible] >> that's pretty scary stuff. that clip was shown by an international coalition of scientists un convention. the window to stop these is closing fast. ♪ local local local local.

>> greg: how could you not love a little guy like that. tyrus, i think this is a hate film against robots. i think the last part, any weapon can be used like that. the pope once tried to ban the crossbow in the middle ages because it was such an advancement over previous bows. >> look, personal the dudes in the van, they're going to fly all those at that guy who is struggling to open the door. did you notice that? come on, get it, i think that's were technologies going. that means less of us on the ground getting shot. it means wars are done easier in groups like isis are hiding in nukes and crannies.

so, i'm good with that. all those little drones, turn the sprinklers on. then everyone with a had on was good. >> greg: pete, i think what tyrus is saying is right that be an anti- drone weapons is inhuman. wars will drag out longer if you are not highly specific in your targets. if you can argue against these your allowing terrorists to have the collateral damage advantage. they will always use human targets. these weapons are designed by minimizing collateral damage by specifically's focusing on the target. so i think the argument is really dangerous. i think it's a scare tactic.

>> and went the un ban things, clearly terrace stop using them. so, we better have better "drones and targeted killing" countermeasures. you cannot put technology back in the box. let's use it to kill all those isis students. >> greg: cat, the argument is terrible because these deadly weapons are bad because they're deadly. shall we be the first to make it and then decide, where always the first to get a weapon and then decide if we should ban it. don't panic now. the we are no longer the superpower. >> on the one hand i do get it. when i was younger and heard the story about frankenstein, i got very afraid that my walking go-go pop toy was trying to kill

me. as a libertarian, when i hear the phrase preemptive ban, i kind ago i don't know how i feel about that. kinda like when the fish ran say maybe you should take a shower. >> greg: chris, they're called the campaign to stop killer robots. what side are you on? are you pro- killer robot. >> sure. [applause] was gonna happen, nobody's ever said we have this great technology let's not look into it. there's good and bad. my problem is i don't like the videos. they got emotional stupid storyline, there's a kid sky mom during class. then he chooses to cry instead to get out of the room.

>> it was unbelievable. >> you could see of a pretty enough various plot, political assassination and things like that that's hard to do now would get easier. you can't put it back in the box. most will be the person who put it in the box remember, be nice to these drones. they will remember you. when they get super intelligent they're gonna know that gregg got fell this one you said i no longer live with the uncertainties of hep c. wondering, what if? i let go of all those feelings. because i am cured with harvoni. harvoni is a revolutionary treatment for the most common type of chronic hepatitis c.

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>> greg: taylor swift released a new album, i've always already worked out to it 30 times. but the women's that magazine, marie claire has a big problem. why swift hasn't wait in on the presidential race. she said were still waiting for next the nation about taylor swift's choice to stay quiet.

did she over trump, hillary, or writing candidate? we know she really would've four. [inaudible] [laughter] >> greg: a very sexy man. people are calling this cyber bullying, your inexpert on that. was it? >> i can't get over the fact that so many other celebrities consider themselves to be political. are they really? are they coming up with their own conclusions or just repeating what they hear everybody else say. that's not being political. if that could be matched by -- that i think you should leave

taylor alone. >> i worked in magazines for a while. you should never take advice from magazine editors because there is generally sad. >> and not to mention any of your damn business. [applause] i'm an entertainer, i don't have to talk about politics. she talks about like your first kiss on a date, and now know what the heck her music is a box i don't listen to it. i'm pretty sure it's not about trump or hillary. vote of happen if she said i'm trump all the way. taylor swift and trump, trump and swift. man, what we do. >> greg: pete, i know you read marie claire a lot. are they asking for something we

don't need. do we need fewer political opinions. >> is staying where you are not commenting. she's selling that could julian albums. because she doesn't use that. where's the last place we get what i can even watch football anymore. >> greg: chris, shannon parry claire. >> that my sister no. why don't we demand what they think politically of taylor swift had dated donald trump therapy three albums are ready,

but i like how the article is about like their demanding an explanation which is the same thing the semi goes do you want to lose 50% of your audience for no reason who says like yeah you're the greatest star on the world jenna get on that kathy griffin money? >> you have a terrible person that she is women's magazine are officially anti- women. going after the strongest women in america, this woman advocat advocates, that's women of the year from glamour magazine. >> thank you for that. don't go anywhere. i have a special product you can bring to thanksgiving this year.

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>> greg: finally, thanksgiving advice. this week we are in the same boat. we have to hang out with relatives we don't like. good news, you don't have to listen to their whining about whatever annoying relatives whine about. there is now a cure. >> is just not fair, she won the popular vote and russia stole the election. >> is your inability to quit whining renewing your life? >> e makes my life so personally difficult. maybe you should try shutting up.

>> never heard of it. it's simple. when you're about to use your mouthful to make sounds to form words. your brain sends a signal to your lips so you shut up. could it really be that easy? what usually works as i finally feel find out how i'm feeling and then -- >> shut up. [laughter] ever since i stopped my nana shut up people want to be around me again. thanks shut up. i have to do, is nothing. >> greg: very good. special thanks to fox and friends weekend exit. chris on his comedy album.

cat, tyrus, our studio audience. they love you america. i am gregg time. wednesday will be her last day. i love you, nicole. jesse: welcome to "watters world." i'm jesse watters. i'm in palm beach for a restoration weekend. i received an award from david horowitz's freedom center. senator al franken involved in a sexual harassment controversy from 2006. it allegedly happened when he was backstage with playboy playmate leanne tweeden. >> i