greg: he got us out of the paris climate accord so that saved us

money. but the left cries like a baby who just had his cookie stolen. i root for the d

it was about harvey. the harvey that remind us that americans despite our differences will help each other out when we need it most of. the harvey that showed humanity and bravery. and generosity. and what monster trucks are for. trucks helping trucks. that's the harvey i'll remember from 2017. not that other [bleep]. all things considered, a good year. we are safer and more prosperous. what more could we ask for?

i'll sleep like a baby while the rest of them will scream like one. [baby crying] steve ruben. the tallest and smartest devito. joe devito. the slim and grim national review reporter kat timpf. and he carries the new years eve ball in his bowling bag. tyrus. what grade would you give president trump for his first year in office and why would you

pick that grade? >> i think we should give props to cnn for licensing you guys footage of their host. that was very nice. what grade? i would say around a bish somewhere in there. to me it's the people that have gone crazy, the part that i'm enjoying. i always had a belief most of people were crazy. now i know it could be true. greg: we talked about this before. it's people driven by their own confirmation bias and they can't get out of it. if you think this guy is awful and evil there will be is no way to get out of it. >> this guy is so rich, do you think anyone with that amount of money would want to do this job? he must want to do it. have to be around the kids at the parties and put his hand on the orb in saudi arabia.

greg: he would rather put his hand on other things. apparently. i don't even know what hat means. on the head of an orphan when he feeds them rice. that's what i mean. joe, good the see you and your strangely colored beard. what do you think of 2017. what do you think of trump's performance? >> i won't give him a grade in the usual a-f scale. he's outside the realm of any grading system we used before. he's completely changed the game an brought everyone along with him whether they like the or not. he's doing so well that he's making life easier for people who hate him. if hillary clinton had been elected we wouldn't have had all these stories about men in power abusing women coming out. any of these guys, don't thank

these people who kept their mouth shut, thank donald trump. greg: because if hillary had been president. 2017, net positive, net negative or net neutral neutrality. kat: i won't grade anything on a socially construct basis. i would like to speak from the heart. think about last year when he was elected. everyone was saying he was hitler and we were all going to die. we were supposed to be in bunkers eating corn out of cans. they set the bar at making it seem like it would be such a disaster, and i'm look around at my life, it's actually just fine. greg: if you step away from all the emotion, it's kinds of

normal. but it's not normal because there is so much emotion. >> they predict all this chaos and things that are going to happen. he just had different agenda. he didn't win the election. that's it. i'm more worried about the gay cutting me off in traffic. not what donald trump was doing. a c plus. you have got to work on that citizenship. you might have a u in citizenship, not getting along with his peers in the classroom. talking about raising his hand. insults at recess. he has to work on that. greg: what was that called on the report card. >> citizenship. you either got a satisfactory. kat: i always had problems. greg: mine was called conduct. and it was always incomplete.

i always killed the teacher. i went from school to school, if you call them schools. >> any time anything is happening, the world is going to end the next day. eventually the boy who cried wolf, how did it work out for you. they talk about how diet coke affects his brain. i drink so much alcohol and my brains not affected at all. greg: we have one of the few audiences that applaud alcohol. tyrus: every since the u.s. left the paris accord, they are still building more coal mines, they are not doing the stuff they said they were going to do. the rule is do it when you feel like it.

greg: when somebody is waiting for somebody to leave a party. a really terrible party that's thrown by one of your friends. so you wait for somebody else to leave. trump said i'm out of here. this party success -- this party sucks. >> that's what i like about him. he's not a butt kisser like all the other politicians we are used to. you could put him on a desert island and he would behave the same way. he would be bossing around crabs and telling coconuts they are losers. greg: i was incredibly nervous about him. you kept telling yourself, when he's elected he will change. he will be a different person. i was wrong to expect that. because you don't want somebody to change. because none of us would change. none of us would change. he was like i'm going to be a different person.

he's actually more trump. >> you can't change after. greg: the good news is a lot of people who shouldn't have been there are now gone. the people who cashed in their phase got in and out within the first few months. omarosa took 9 months. >> if only he had a catch phrase to let her know she was no longer employed. >> you are let go. tyrus: omarosa brought the entire country together. it was the first time in history cbs, nbc, abc, and fox news all had the same story, we hate omarosa. greg: they were saying it's

better than expected. something really bad is going to happen. kat: because of all the diet cokes. greg: maybe he's secretly crazy. they have all these things ready to grab. but they are not. they are never there. and it's also bringing down people who opposed him. these investigation, they are saying jill stein. if that's the case, should get their rubbles back. -- their re. kat: russia is having a good time fighting with donald trump. greg: what's in store for 2018? how the hell should i know. i'm not a psychic.

i don't even know how i'm getting home tonight. [♪]

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>> large cup of cool for you. happy new year, greg. i'm starting to see a pattern with the new year's wishes. anyway, what is all the men in my life? should we fear the new year? as it comes to a close some shows will make stupid predictions about stories that could change the world in the year ahead. north korea, the midterm elections, my new squad routine, check it out.

but why look at 18 when we can look way ahead to the year 204 2048.. greg: we spent half the year's budget on that. i had to fire three employees. here's my blood conviction for the year 2048. moon largo, america's premier golf resort with 18 holes over a landscape of three craters in a beautiful wall. back on earth tiffany trump is getting ready to be sworn in for her first term, very excited about that. amazing that hillary insisted running against her after all these years. [laughter] must be the meerkat blood. tiffany's running mate, trey gowdy looks exactly the same because he's obviously an immortal and beautiful vampire.

finally and 48 radiohead is still not in the hall of fame. here's a look at the album they released that year. ♪. greg: i think they're getting better and better. they are just getting started, joe. joe, in the near distant future i don't care what you think what you looking forward to? >> i think it's unfair that people look to this past year and don't let people enjoy particular such as she had a good c-17 and people got all over and then she had a wonderful year and i couldn't be happier that we are engaged. greg: you guys do seem like the perfect couple. you're the yin and yang. she super successful and beautiful. >> and i have most mighty.

[laughter] and now that we've said that is in it hard to picture either but not the other? greg: is the art of persuasion. you put it in taylor's head. i'll get her home phone number for you. dave, what do you see happening? >> it seems obvious to me that we will all have slowly morphed into trump. he is in our minds. we will all start becoming a little more orange and will all starting getting weird her plugs and will start speaking only in twitter languages. it's happening right now. greg: speaking of peter, they have to remove that double length because i don't read peter anymore. people are writing diary entries and it's disgusting. [applause] by 2048, there will be gone. will have thoughts in her head that we can shoot to people. like when i am thinking what you

for my question right now. >> i was going to say is that my question. greg: yes, i'm sending it through telepathic waves. >> i feel like by then the president will be named aidan and he will get really mad if you spell it with an eye instead about why. there will still be all kinds of problems like traffic and baldness and all the other things people have problem with and all be dead. don't drink enough water. greg: know you will be life as you preserve yourself and all the alcohol you drink. >> i don't drink that much alcohol. gave you that idea? greg: you'll be like one of those animals in a jar you see at the site so. >> we're supposed to drink six to eight glasses of water a day. is that true? [laughter] six you're supposed to sleep. tyrus, predictions or

feelings -- anything? anything up to that. >> by that time hopefully whatever fish is left in the ocean has eight my so i don't plan on hanging around. really great danes, bro. i saw you put it up there and i was like [bleep], no clue. i will not be there. by the time he goes around, like i said, i'm out of touch now so for me then. greg: must go to next year, tyrus. the next year? if you ask me what i'm doing next three days from now i'll have to get back to you. greg: any predictions, big predictions smart. >> i think everything will be fine. i think of the bold prediction. greg: we will take a break. still to

[♪] reporter: los angeles police arrest a man after a fatal police shooting halfway across the country. the shooting was the result of a practice called swatting. bringing a s.w.a.t. team to an unsuspecting person. he gave an address saying there was a person who killed someone. anti-government protests in iran extend into their third day in cities and towns across the country. 50 people have been arrested during the protests. and social media reports say two people were killed saturday. but there has been no official confirmation of thos those deat.

alicia, now back to the greg couple joe. >> i hope 2018 brings chlamydia research gains. greg: is that some type of island. anyway, thank you tucker for sharing that. that was our secret. that we shared. [laughter] today are producers asked me what my favorite moment of the show was this past year. my answer was anything with me in it. can you blame me? i look awesome. especially for a 32 -year-old. sometimes even i screw up. have a look. emily, you deal with this stuff all the time as a prosecutor. are you prosecutor? >> no ass but i will play one tonight. greg: some guests would be

polite but she just said no. we will never see her again. i'm kidding, kidding. tyrus, what is your favorite moment from this year? >> some of you may know i got to film in front of the white house for the substitute press and so here is one spot i thought went pretty damn well. >> what it is, first question. >> a lot of people are so scared of the power because of nuclear waste and plans. >> this is getting boring already. anyone want to talk to the new "game of thrones"? >> are you concerned about the direction they are going? >> yes, kevin, i am concerned. they have beard off from the books way too much. we need him to finish the next month that. >> have you had that conversation with him? >> yeah, i called his ass and told him to get it right. i might go to south and bust on

the door and say bro, you need to finish those books before hbo messes up your vision. >> what you just said is inflammatory to people all over the country. >> first off, the books are always better. the only thing inflammatory in this room is your goatee. damn. can we get a resume on that guys goatee. the lady from nbc agrees with me. [laughter] last question. >> talk to me about your plan it is basically the wanted by many countries around the world. >> i am in the manner of the world, yes i wasn't fishing for compliments but i like my job here and i'll leave it here until this guy sheets. i'm out. [applause]

you know he shaped his goatee? he is clean now. greg: i just want to make a note to the producers that all of them were supposed to be of me. dave, you were on it in a couple of good times here. >> i did have some good times here. line? that took me a little while to catch on to what we directly talking about. >> i'm excited to talk to buy my new book. i wanted to write this book to tell my new story. when you read the book it tells hard truths. i wrote this book because i hear characterizing the book. that is a great question. let me tell you it's in the book, as well. people are just questioning why they write the book. >> was there a book involved? they have to be total cleared. did donna brazile write a book? greg: poor donna.

[laughter] it was the best book ever. yet, you are a. >> my favorite moment was when the junior senator from kansas interviewed neil gorsuch in his confirmation. >> so neil, first question. when i say the name greg, what the first thing you think of? >> i think i was years or rugged independence. >> i thought you were going to say from. i'm glad you say independence. anyway, what do you think about his last book, how to be right? >> it makes an excellent doorstop. >> savage, neil. that reminds me that i see you are doing with the bouncer outside the club last night and they clearly were not letting you in. >> you are right. there were two lists as i recall. i wasn't on the first list. >> damn, that sucks. what did the bouncer say.

>> to send neil, you're not on the list. [laughter] and i said you're right, i'm not list. and he said i should be on the list. >> so you did get in. cool. who would you rather eat pancakes with? rosie o'donnell or [inaudible]? >> i'm not sure why it has to be a choice. >> it's your job to make decisions just like. >> that's your job. >> wait, how is that my job? forget it. whatever. what would you change about red lobsters cheddar biscuits? >> i wouldn't change a thing. >> you're right. that's a trick question and you did pass. last question, my friend brian is a big fan of yours and he's in the back and can you just wait to him? >> brian. >> often. good luck in the club. [applause] i love her. greg: you can probably do the show when you're out.

anyway, he reminds me of the host of dancing at the stars, tom bergeron. i see him and i just thank you number drawn. joe, i thank you are a. what is your favorite moment? >> yes, it's so hard for me to choose just one because almost none of them aired. [laughter] greg: that is true. >> i want to present the people here at fox news that when they want to cover breaking stories they have to ask themselves how does this affect joe? sometimes i put on a clean shirt. greg: you do. >> and i share my recipe for coldfusion and i got that beatles reunion we are working on. greg: and the fact that we totally blew it out and you had the three remaining -- to remaining sprint gas, and we do have one of my best moments and i'm very proud of this particular if you could show the clip right now.

greg: you are most pumped gas but not bumped but the one who does the most work and then you never work. >> yes, i'm a jinx or a cousin oliver. greg: that would be the worst character ever. they would have said it jumped the oliver although that sounds a little perverted. he is now 60 or so so you know, does matter. >> can i to say? greg: sure. >> to donna brazile write a book? greg: i thought of another favorite moment. >> i'm so much for your sitting here at fox news all-america that i am in a college cafeter cafeteria. [cheering and applause] greg: that quote has to be on a t-shirt. if you own a t-shirt company i want you to make that t-shirt. anyway, i got like 70 shirts

that have this on it which is exactly what he said which i can't read because i am so much for your sitting here at fox news that i am in a college cafeteria. [cheering and applause] look, i have another one here and i have another one -- there you go and then this is the last one. these are just a few but we have a lot of these. will be giving them away to the studio audience. [cheering and applause] ♪ with expedia, you can book a flight, then add a hotel, and save. ♪ everything you need to go. expedia

>> happy new year everyone. greg, i like you so much that there's something that i can say except i wish you something good for the rest of us. silence. get out of my courtroom. [laughter] greg: who he is he the judge?

like any successful show we would be nothing without william devane. without him how would you know where to buy gold? now has never been the time to buy that means if you bought it before you are screwed. which was the previous week when he told you now it has never been a better time. anyway, we owe a lot to our wonderful sponsors for my personal favorite was one that came in handy at the thanksgiving dinner table. mocha it's just not fair. she won the election in the popular vote by 3 million votes in russia stole the election. you know that. is your inability to quit whining ruling ruining your life? >> he so embarrassing and i can't do is present. >> maybe you should try setting the [bleep] up. >> never heard of it. how does it work. >> when you're about to use your

mouth hole to make sounds to form words your brain is of the signal to your lips so that you set the. >> up. >> can it really be that easy? what usually works for me is that if i find out how i am feeling and then i -- shut the [bleep] up. >> ever since i've stopped whining and shut the [bleep] up, people want to be around me again. thank you shut the [bleep] up. greg: that is why tom is the best commercial actor in that face is insane. he's the psychopath. earlier this year mattel launched a new line of candles designed with millennial men in mind that the one that might get the most attention was man bun. people made fun of him but we

made this ad to defend him. >> was that cool bro with the sweet pile of hair on his head? man bun. eight. hot yoga is even hotter now that i'm here. we have to # with this. >> plane nonsense song to the coffee shop. man bun ken does not have a job to is plenty of time for unlimited activities. don't forget man bun ken list by only one rule. no shirt, no shooters, i'm awesome. yoga mat, qatar not included. greg: there you go. i have a feeling that doll will show up in a lot of er accidents. 2017 was the year of some incredible new products that hit the market.

one of which i invented. it uses an already existing technology to solve a problem for aging rock 'n roll icons. take a look. >> are you went over the hill rock legend who refuses to retire? do have tired trouble getting up on the stage? these are the elite chairlifts for those musicians who need to roll to rock. sit down, strap in and three hours later you'll be on stage. rock stairs are totally portable for those who can't climb the big steps. that ramp is a little too steep at madison square garden's? rock stairs. by rock stairs today.

[cheering and applause] greg: this is the first generation where we will have to deal with rock stars in restrooms like crazy old people will still dress like freaks. before we go to break, i would like to thank another one of our sponsors. their product comes in handy for anyone who watches msnbc. ♪ it could happen to anyone. you find yourself listening to their smarmy self-congratulatory rhetoric. >> they are all terrible. we say to our children about this? >> you get your headaches and nausea for their insatiable desire for the spotlight. >> whatever show you are watching, donald, is making you crazy. >> it's called morning joe. >> i use to throw up from 6:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. and i had no idea why. >> there is hope with remote tracks. it uses is highly advanced

technology to stop it from hitting your ears. >> i used to suffer through but not anymore. thank you. if you can't afford a prescription there is now an easy to use over-the-counter solution. ask your doctor about remote tech today. [cheering and applause] greg: coming up, we are all going to answer your mail. if you r

i saw the change in rich when we moved into the new house. but having his parents over was enlightening. ♪ you don't like my lasagna? no, it's good. -hmm. -oh. huh. [ both laugh ] here, blow. blow on it. you see it, right? is there a draft in here? i'm telling you, it's so easy to get home insurance on progressive.com. progressive can't save you from becoming your parents. but we can save you money when you bundle home and auto.

wishing everyone a happy and joyous 2018, except you, greg, i wish you sadness and despair. greg: there you go. he's a commercial actor so he knows how to fake it. let's see, we solicited and you couldn't resist. they hurled questions than what oj got in his parole hearing. here are just a few. these are directed to everyone including myself. first one heather asks. tyrus, i'll start with you. >> i do a lot of reading and i research stuff and then i cry in my hotel and asked if i can do this for myself not to cry and then i fire up and lift weights and be funny. greg: very good. cat, what you do? >> i don't have to get ready

because i wake up looking like this every day so i mostly just read but i don't have to do that either because i know all the stories. so i don't really do much at all but it's easy for me, heather. greg: that's great. [applause] joe, it's gotta be great to prepare for show never be on it. >> yeah, yeah, first thing i do when i booked on the show as i call my manager is a really? [laughter] and then i knocked back a bottle of nyquil and i don't even three days because you have good green room food. greg: we do have great images. what about you dave? >> i eat a pot brownie about an hour before any kicks in 45 minutes and so just about now. greg: i go in the other direction. i try to get everyone at home to do pot and that was an entire show. >> i just walk in. greg: i'm a natural at this and that's why i got into this at 45.

adam asks. start with you, kat. >> i wanted to be on captivity. i really wanted to be real tv but i was trying to keep it realistic in my mind so i told myself i'd be on cabin tv or the lady on the airplane tells you to keep your seatbelt on. i was trying to reach for something attainable because i said they would never put me on tv. greg: while technically, you're still not. you know, come on. this is cable. i'm kidding. this is the most-watched show on saturday night ever. [cheering and applause] don't look that up because i got that from prussian polling outfit. dave, childhood goals? >> i wanted to be on the johnny carson tonight show and i ended up on greg gutfeld show. greg: this is a better show than

the tonight show. we have more competition and were not smoking and you know, i hated the curtains. the curtains were terrible. they were awful. tyrus? >> you know, it's funny because i was a kid will call her mom and i guess she's my mom she told me that i was never going to amount to anything and i would be in jail just like my father or whatever and i yield back at her and i said i'm in a be a movie star and i'm in the wrestler, play football in a minute by a sports bar. made it, hater. [cheering and applause] greg: happy mother's day. i was so neurotic i just didn't want to go to jail and i'll tell you what -- i watched many cop shows no skin. from like the ages of five till 12 i just watched dragnet and adam 12 and fbi and i was just assume so many people were in

jail that every hour there were ten people going to jail and at some point i would screw up and i didn't go to jail. [applause] >> i didn't go to most deals in the next one is from and. what super power would each of you like to have and when you use it for good and evil? dave? >> i like to have wonder woman's lasso of truth and i would walk into congress and watch them [bleep] their plans. greg: very close to the superpower i want. i want to be able to [bleep]. once you reach a certain age it becomes almost like a superpower. can't believe i did that. [laughter] joe? >> i always thought a great superpower would be i turn a magic ring and i enlarged to the

size of an adult human male. [laughter] and i want to say coming up and the team were closer to ever than reaching our goals. greg: kat? >> i honestly just want to know how to do my own maker. i think i'd be unstoppable because without it i look like a young mccauley called and but i can't seem to do it myself. greg: it's hard. i have other people do my makeup. tyrus does my makeup. thank you, tyrus. >> hold on. this man just light on me and for the whole world. i don't do his damn makeup. i want to fly because then i could just leave and no one can say nothing. [laughter] you know, i'd be out and i'd be out all the time like every time something does go my way i'd say i'm out and i by way. greg: on the opposite superpower. hyper gravity where it's harder

for me to be pulled off of things. [laughter] it's like if you can't get them off this thing so literally i could fly on the outside of the plane like this and you can't pull me off and unless i want to and then i could get off but i didn't want to go somewhere you can pull me because i had hyper gravity. >> 's with your two superpowers your literally be mr. annoying. greg: i'd always be on the toilet. >> you really don't want to get fired. greg: had enough of that in my life. don't g

>> happy new year to everybody except greg gutfeld. i hope you have a miserable 2018.

greg: thank you, greg, with 2g's. i don't need to tease at the end of my greg. finally, something we wanted to share but never got the chance. back in august the great walter kern said this on the show. >> what jim acosta knows about immigration reminds me what don lemon who thought that the malaysian airliner had disappeared into a black hole knows about astrophysics. they all go to cnn university and they come on tv and -- i don't know. greg: cnn university. that's funny. for doing that in the personal next week. we did that make that commercial but that episode never aired because of the breaking news. here it is now. ♪ have you ever wished you could be more like kathy griffin or how to overreact to a presidential tweet? >> i have to leave it there. >> i have to leave it there. >> i gotta leave it there. >> now there's place for feelings, resources. cnn university. at cnn you you can mess with multiple subjects.

>> i may be open to a relationship this year. >> breaking news prospective don lemon is open to a relationship? >> that was fun but here's what happened today. >> and of course, how to put 60 people on the show talking over each other. >> you also get intimate custom instruction on test subjects like how to interview congressman. >> when dealing with republicans, any these questions will do. why are you ruining the country? why do you hate women, immigrants and the poor? >> what is your favorite type of [inaudible]? >> a rigorous program already for the toughest environment like moderating a presidential debate. >> what is the best way to prepare for a debate. >> easy, leave the questions to the candidates.

>> isn't that cheating track. >> doesn't matter. >> cnn university. greg: special thanks to kat, tyrus, dave and joe. happ now. [♪] jesse: welcome to "watters world." i'm jesse watters. as we come to the end of 2017 the left with have you think the president has no accomplishments. the tax cut and appointing an historic number of judges and the ending of obamacare. president trump welcome back to what the rar. how does it feel? president trump: it feels great, and it feels good to be back here. you have been so nice. thank you. jesse: i presented you