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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  January 7, 2018 2:00pm-3:00pm PST

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the one in at 292 million shot comes just a day after a 450 million mega jackpot >> will be back at six. ter] me, too. ter] greg: wait, why can't they be called along james? [laughter] greg: it's the first week of 2018 and i can already say it's the greatest week of 2018. it is. [cheering and applause] danger, intrigue, chaos and that is just in joy behar ted. >> trump makes me medicaid and hospitalized at this point or he is going to just kill all of us.
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greg: that is rich. they heart commenting on insanity. that's like harvey weinstein commenting on feminism. [laughter] 2018 has been great. the high points so far, right out-of-the-box, trump treats everyone with north korea's nukes. the response -- the my favorite scene from total recall. >> get ready for the surprise. greg: it was a cavalcade of convulsion. >> is not being cavalier with the threat of a nuclear war. he's been cavalier in a way that makes him seem demented, and arranged. >> this is not how we plan to start the broadcast but present is just given a tweet and it is a bombshell. >> this a profound, sexual and masculine insecurities are literally threatening to annihilate the planet. greg: okay, captain therapy.
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someone's projecting. nice hair, i got to say. anyway, it's like the world is ending but i bet there is a drug for that. >> this is what the president is saying about the war. >> has the media convince you the world is about to end? >> what are we doing? >> why? >> because this president has brought us to the brink of nuclear annihilation. >> again with the [bleep], i've got to go back people taking you seriously every time you tell them the world is ending? you should stop worried about the bomb and use the bomb. it's called apocalypse. it's the fda approval pending formula that will seal your lips together permanently so other people don't have to deal with your hysteria. >> sounds too good to be true. let me give it a shot.
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>> does this make america last [inaudible] >> i would have to say yes. everything we know about it, we know that the chinese -- >> too late now. order this today. [laughter] greg: use it only on your mouth. all right, i learned the hard way. life is rough in the bathroom. the real media star this week that shiny or from cnn, the national heart monitor himself, brian calling the police on the president. >> i've asked twitter spokesman does this violate the terms of service making a threat toward north korea and so far no immediate comment from the company and were still waiting
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to hear. i think they're trying to decide if this kind of tweet trying to a nuclear button that he knows how to use and whether it works and whether it's a violation of the terms of service. greg: every dorm has the sky. [laughter] cnn is no longer fake news is think news. if brian were in that he would sell you to the warden for an extra cheese sandwich. anyway, they're wrong about trumps tweet. they actually work. north korea is finally talking again. who knew he could be such a great marriage counselor? [laughter] he's been married three times. i guess you don't know how something works until you break it. meanwhile, trump's response to the iranian uprising in the suspension of military aid to pakistan is quite a contrast to obama. all obama wanted was a legacy. trap instead wanted action. legacy legacy, trump the world
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desire before hours and trump is much perverse. he forces the tough questions, side should you be on, iran's people or their molars? their citizens with their tormentors? oddly, some of our very own leading feminists here are silent. i guess they think of full-body burqa is a choice and stoning for adultery is great exercise. meanwhile, the stock market gained a thousand points faster than ever. there is a surprise. companies react positively to the president to create healthy climate. that could happen? instead of the media focuses on a book detailing chaos right after the trump when as if that is a surprise. no, it's a reminder that clinton or any other county did not get in and that they got beat by someone with way less knowledge specific to their expertise and that has got to hurt. a nonpolitical salesman, crushing you? it's another historical first. this is not just a presidency,
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it's a phenomenal role of the political that dice that was field three essential truth. politics only damages people who play too much emphasis on politics. system is bigger than any one person and that people cannot surprise you. you thank you don't own or bill kristol for this kind of trump coming? do you think trump saw trump coming? [laughter] who knows? all i know is that it's been a pretty good week and the economy, energy, shrinking government, foreign policy, it's nothing if not bold and it makes me wonder what could be than one trump? >> i ask you to turn to the screens and i will continue from there. >> thank you for being with us today. the historic i signed into law two weeks ago for christmas is already delivering major economic gains. hundreds of thousands of americans are seeing larger paychecks. greg: that may be the weirdest thing i've ever seen and i have a mirror above my bed.
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[laughter] [applause] let's welcome tonight's guests, i suppose. he made bin laden a truly holy man. by filling it with holes. his book details how he did it. you, the operator, former navy seal operator rob o'neill. [cheering and applause] he splits more side than a butcher on meth. comedian tom cotter. [cheering and applause] her eyes are glassy and her views are sassy, national review reporter, sims. [cheering and applause] 2018 is how much he benched this morning. former bodyguard, massive psychic, tyrus. [cheering and applause] rob, i'm going to ask you to rank the first week from one to
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kumquats. >> it's an interesting week for sure and i think kumquats. naturally with the coming out, tweet is the best way to talk to reputable people and i use twitter for entertainment and apparently he's a commander-in-chief and there are things i think it's like the things you write the nasty text that you don't send for a few hours but he's getting attention and you can have a sense of humor if that's a way of joking. should we joke about nuclear war? no, but that won't stop. for the point were going to lead to nuclear war because of a tweet then. greg: and what a crazy fun world that would be. tom, i'm glad you brought your best suspect thank you, i'm bringing the sweater vest back. greg: is called the same form. or maybe that is something else
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thoughts, 2018? >> he said it would be so great that our heads with ben and my head spun this morning, kind of like the exorcist. it's great. so far, so good. except for the hypothermia. other than that it's been spectacular. greg: any high points or low points? >> stock market. how many records we break in one week. it's ridiculous. the dems have nothing to write about in that route because her kicking butt. greg: i have money in the market. i have money in one market. >> oh boy. greg: what, tyrus? you somewhere that is going. >> i put the brakes. what about the diplomacy, 2018, is it the best year ever? >> is five days old. i don't know the best day but best week for seeing what is important to the media and it's shameful that a book that would
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be the same in any business and if anyone hung out in the locker room or the water cooler with a disgruntled employee got demoted would say the same thing so on behalf of myself and everyone doing good at their job, bannon. [laughter] [cheering and applause] >> greg, i haven't been on the show but were not alive. >> no, that would be a beep or something like that. greg: adult son. that's a dolphin sound please what -- >> new year, new sound five not the bannon part but the other part. cat, you have the floor or the sea or however you would like it. go, say, a thing. >> all right. let's see, at the risk of teens saying conservative i did not love the tweet but that was my reaction. i don't love this but then i went on about my day with zero concern about being blown up
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whatsoever. i don't understand why you can't just kind of not like something anymore and that's not an option and you have to be convinced it will kill you and i have enough stuff to worry about killing me already five that is so true. me. >> forty-one. greg: yes, you can see me coming a mile away or smelly. i have a theory that trump has no resolutions. he didn't say let's less tweet or layout cnn he probably said one less cheeseburger after midnight. >> he's on top of the world why would you change anything? the north korea thing -- it's a game called good cop, bad cop. he makes a bold statement, north korea goes what and then tillerson talks to him and now they want to talk. he's not in the room the button, and if you notice kim jong-un
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seems to like to be i'm on the same level arguing with the president. well, call south korea let's talk to him. you mean, he's not going to really push the button jack ass he's making a statement that draws attention and everyone looks at north korea and says well, maybe we should do something because this button is bigger than ours. greg: i hope for the shape heirs i hope it is a button because you'll look stupid, tyrus. >> i'm sure people will walk around saying tires, nice call, bro. greg: we probably will not air if that happens. >> all going on i'll be going like man, they heard what i said. damn, i made -- i'm worried about what i said on the greg show. greg: we are more coming up. donald is giving out awards to people in the media. i've been working out and i hope in the modern world, it pays to switch things up.
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(a voby daft punk is heard bettethroughout.) (sound of typing) (sound of exhaling) (sound of drilling) jimmy (shouting): james! brand vo: the world's largest workforce works for themselves. we work for them. quickbooks. backing you.
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greg: by the way, the producers asked me to tell you this is a unicorn horn. don't get any ideas and that i'm into something weird. anyway,.
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[laughter] all aboard for trumps award. donald has sent over 37000 tweet in his lifetime but this may have been a keeper. i will be announcing the most dishonest and crop media words of the year on monday at 5:00 o'clock. often. that is when the fight is on. [laughter] he will make monday so easy for me. i will be drunk, no pants under the desk. thank you, mr. president, i'm not even going to shave my face. all right. but that award name is a mouthful. the most dishonest and corrupt media award, let's just call them the discos with the sort for dishonest and corrupt and it will cover dishonesty and bad reporting and different categories although i'm not sure what that means.
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maybe trump is breaking it down by gender like worst mail performance, worst female performance or by policy. worst domestic big news or forced or in big news for the big one which would be the best picture of fake news, my vote is for brian ross and his overblown story about donald trump in russia which led to the. >> breaking news. >> oh my god. breaking news. abc news brian ross is reporting michael flynn promised full cooperation to the muller team and is prepared to testify that as a candidate donald trump directed him to make contact with the russians. [cheering and applause] greg: that didn't work out. the breaking news there was that she could read. anyway, poor guy got suspended. [applause] anyway, tom, what you make of these awards? >> there will be 5000 nominees in each category, first of all. it's a train wreck. i watched another network that rhymes with cnn on the night
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trump was elected at three in the morning just to watch the nervous breakdown. there were literally tears. meeting. i think it will be a field day. that's why he tweet because he connects people directly in the media is just going to besmirch him and throw him under the bus at every turn. >> this march, sorry. greg: you like that word don't you? >> that was in my head forever. greg: kat, how should the media respond to this. >> they will love it. let's be honest for two reasons. first of all, they don't like president trump and he will say his dismissal as a compliment also, no one in the public eye or pursues a career with a be in the public eye if they know on some level they don't think recognition is good. for me for example i one of the messiest desk award every single year in grade school and i know it's not technically an award but i was getting my name out
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there. [laughter] greg: it's true. it's true. and you haven't changed at all. it's spread be on your desk, i'm afraid. >> will now the my desk is that the work other people put their trash on it because they assume i will not notice. greg: yeah, their trash. >> 70% my trash, that 30% is very rude. greg: rob, do you think i think this is helped the media because i call it the ptw, proved wrong effect. you don't want them to have animal so you better yourself. >> their taking advantage of this. they're putting ads in times where in newspapers and they're having fun with it and wish it could be at a point where you make light of some of the stuff in one of the things he learned from differences -- for me patriotism is not where lake joy sharing because it might fail was with the country might fail and my party wins. we should be for america and i
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don't know the point -- [cheering and applause] even to the point waiting for fox news and when boxes something must be wrong and everyone else is right it's weird political thing. hillary clinton, 33000 deleted e-mails after a subpoena from congress and they were like that was misplaced it. you do not misplace 33000 e-mails and if you can't find the delete folder you go shatter the damn hard drive but they won't report that because she didn't know what she was doing. greg: i want to know how to do that. if it turns out that it's true because that's a lot of depressing, tyrus. a lot of pressing. [laughter] that will be your life. all right. what do you make of these words? >> not just the awards but it's besmirch the nfl, ratings are down on all the other major things because of all this viewed between president trump and the media. i think most of these reporters,
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it's an award. i bet they will rock the trophy. i bet they will take it. they will be like all wear it as a badge of honor. greg: it is. >> literally, they will not resist because if it was really about their integrity they would not acknowledge it just like they tell you ignore someone or whatever, they would acknowledge it because it would get them readings and people will want to see the response into if he and usually present drop every does is big-time and there will be some lovely trophies to the point where i might want to drop some lies about him this weekend so i could possibly pick one up. i wish he would get back. we could host it. i would hosted in a minute. greg: i don't know if he be allowed to.
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>> think were upper one? greg: we might be. i think i think stelter should get one. he has grown up. he was a guest on redeye and i think i gave that fella to start. look where he is now. >> or started to make and what he is today six i think he should win -- creepy guy award contract. greg: if you look at him he reminds me of the strobe light from saturday night fever. all right. still to come, if the book no one has read but everyone is talking about. not atlas shrugged, a jab at you libertarians. we discussed the latest book on present w patrick woke up with a sore back. but he's got work to do. so he took aleve this morning. if he'd taken tylenol, he'd be stopping for more pills right now. only aleve has the strength to stop tough pain for up to 12 hours with just one pill. tylenol can't do that. aleve. all day strong. all day long. and for pain relief and a good night's rest, try aleve pm for a better am.
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>> live from america's news headquarters. the largest automotive recall in u.s. history now getting bigger. japanese company, takada is calling back to 3.3 million airbrake translators. they are at risk of exploding and firing hot shrapnel at drivers. and a somber day in paris as the city marks three years since the terror attacks. french president joining staffers for a moment of silence at a wreathlaying ceremony. the attack spent three days and
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culminated at a shooting in a jewish supermarket. seventeen people were killed. all see what the top of their for more news. now back to got felt show. greg: trump is no lover of this hardcover. i speak of the skating new book fire and fury, it describes the dysfunction and infighting during the campaign and his first year in the presidency. the white house called it trashy fiction and earlier this week they sent a cease and desist letter to stop publication but the book was released on friday. i have already read it meaning i'm lying and i didn't. anyway, here's the just from what i can tell from the excerpts. trump is just like us in that he was surprised he won. some of his employees get annoyed by him and every one has those. except for me, i'm beloved. we eat cheeseburgers and bed. don't we all? you should see what i eat on the
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toilet. [laughter] [crowd boos] stop doing me. on the job on the first day it was chaos. we knew that already. it's like every first day or week on the job. it is hell. this is me trying to drag myself to work today. yeah, it made me an hour late. kat, you and everybody says [bleep] about their boss. god knows what has been said about me. by other people who happen to work with me, who knows? isn't that normal, kat? >> yeah, it is normal. >> no, kat, no. >> what i don't understand is why this person was allowed access to the white house in the first place. that just doesn't make sense for you have someone who is known
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for doing this kind of stuff and saying yeah, come on over and president trump said he didn't give him access but he loves attention so much that i'm certain he absolutely did but that's like if you liked a guy in he went on a date with him and invited a gossip, lust is also that guys ex-girlfriend, that's how bad this is. greg: i do think that maybe he didn't think about it all the way through, tom, but he's not a politician and this is what happened. >> i think of bannon was friends with the sky. you want to make fun of my hypothesis? >> no, i like this march. i've always wanted to use it in a sentence, bro, and you put it out there for me. >> cnn reported that they kept saying wolf, wolf, but it's credible. greg: all right. i think about, some of the quotes are real but he uses this for the story. >> they will find out soon that
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the quotes aren't real. the most surprising thing is the button on the desk, the magic button actually open the trap door to drop the person into a bondage dungeon that was built by bill clinton and matt lauer. [laughter] i might have made that up. [applause] greg: that's on page 75. we haven't gone to that part yet. take a second stab at this, tyrus. >> man. [bleep] bannon. he's terrible. this was clearly one of those issues where trumps loyalty has come back to bite him on the ass. bannon was one 100% behind his access and from what i've seen the book is pretty much him [bleep] and this is when he was losing favor. trump looks to me like he runs his campaign and he's running his presidency like his tv show where he is groups of people working against each other so he gets the best ideas as the people compete. of course, when you compete, you
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talk trash, sabotage, step people in the back, you do things like that, but the point is they fight. the best idea he pitched them is whoever gets favor the president will give -- event, got favor so bannon got mad. >> during the transition, the president noticed that and he said he's writing the stuff and let him in and there's chaos and turnover in this guy is a wolf in sheep's clothing -- did you see what i did there? [applause] greg: i don't get it. [laughter] >> but they said they would trust them because they weren't part of the swamp at first and they don't realize that the media will not be honest and -- >> never trust anyone, ever. ever. including all of you. [laughter] >> the microphone is always on. greg: this is the cell phone is
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now a reporter and have you noticed that this guy, michael, reminds me of someone and do you have a side-by-side? [laughter] i have to defend michael wolf because i think he is good writer and i said this before and i do think that is true because in chaos people say stuff and i use this metaphor on the five yesterday when a sports team is going under transition and they're getting new coaches there are players that are angry and players that will stick around in the players that are angry will be talking crap about the other guy and by the way, you know this happened with the clinton's and obama but the problem with the book is that he shaped it too much to form a narrative to be a story that he wanted to tell. the little pieces might have been true but what he did was to come out of context and shaped it into a book that is selling like hot cakes. by the way, do excel? i don't know. boy, that the battle joke, isn't
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it? yes, thank you for the courtesy left. killer of bin laden. call me when you have done something. [laughter] coming up, is he out to impede your weed? jeff sessions new policy on pot. jeff sessions new policy on pot. that is the great emperor penguin migration. trekking a hundred miles inland to their breeding grounds. except for these two fellows. this time next year, we're gonna be sitting on an egg. i think we're getting close! make a u-turn... u-turn? recalculating... man, we are never gonna breed. just give it a second. you will arrive in 92 days. nah, nuh-uh. nope, nope, nope. you know who i'm gonna follow? my instincts. as long as gps can still get you lost, you can count on geico saving folks money. i'm breeding, man. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.
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it is still unclear if sessions decision will impact sales of the drug but in places where legal pot has the poorest lawmakers are not happy. here's colorado republican senator cory gardner. >> then senator sessions told me that marijuana simply will not be unpleasant agenda. that was back in the spring of 2016 and up until 8:58 this morning that was the policy. one tweet later, one policy later, a complete reversal. of what many of us on the hill were told for the confirmation what we had continue to believe up the last year without any notification, conversation or dialogue, completely reversed. greg: dude, mellow. someone get him and edible. >> will continue to believe the last year and without any notification, conversation or dialogue.
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greg: it does work. kat, is this a mistake on sessions park? i found it confusing. i wonder if he was doing it for his conscience and then saying go ahead. >> he is merely of drugs. greg: who is it? >> the shouldn't even be federal power in this area to begin with. sperm court rules that because of under the powers for interstate commerce that the federal government even has control of this at all and i think that doesn't make sense. anyone with a it doesn't make sense. marijuana should not be criminalized or legalized and there's no argument otherwise. there really isn't. especially when people say that's what they drink without gall and it's the same thing. greg: i have a theory on that and i'll get to that theory. >> i can't imagine jeff sessions and his life with what he's going on with the doj and the thing that he is thinking in his head i've got to keep the strangers away from our plans.
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come on. greg: brought, you are high when you killed bin laden. >> three stories up. in pakistan. yet, it's funny listening to cory gardner and i bet he has good intentions but he needed a marijuana cigarette. i don't know, i'm in agreement with cats. i'm not going to get into it on the soapbox think but the tao with over 25000 and if they get rid of marijuana i would not buy stock in chinos or taco bell. [applause] greg: that is true. tyrus, do you think law enforcement wants legalization because these unnecessary laws create unnecessary situations. right? >> yes, and they put on necessary non- criminals with criminals which creates more problems. here's the thing. sessions, you have enough problems, bro. no one likes you. you are almost close to getting a man session at this point. the only reason why he did this
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and the one-page memo because obama, if i take something obama did, trump will love me again. no, it will not work. leave the stuff alone. focus on what you're supposed to be doing. just like i feel insurance, everything should be state-by-state. you make a decision where you live in a people want to smoke in california, great, if they don't want to smoke in louisiana, great, their choice, their state. but the people vote. stay out of it. [applause] but louisiana it would be cool if you could both the stuff in. patient. greg: tom, i'm for legalization even though there will be consequences because i think that life is about consequences and you can't prevent them but you have to see what happens. my theory is because bruce got there first we have been trained to believe can only handle one vice and no, we can do alcohol and martinis are fine after work but if you smoke pot you go to jail and that's why we have to unlearn this idea and it's a generational thing.
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>> yeah, and i think the younger generation has a grasp. greg: that's because they're lazy potheads. i wanted to sound like a fox news contributor. those lazy potheads don't know what it's like to work. anyway. >> i occasionally smoke marijuana every single day. [laughter] i ruin your joke. >> that's okay. it was rude to reset it. >> he wants to crack down -- crackdown on crack. right now we have a heroin epidemic. no one is selling their body to get a bag of weed. marijuana makes you laugh at your grandmother falling down the stairs. i grant you that but here when makes you your grandmother down the stairs and cracked makes you proper when she lands at the bottom. that's the difference and colorado is an example of how wonderful it can be. i think. i think state right as you said, leave california alone. greg: i have to wrap it up but what drives me crazy and i'm
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talking about some of my friends they want to be in something because they don't like it. that's not why -- that's not the criteria. maroon five would not exist if it were up to me but you know, it's like i'm for legalizing prostitution but i have never tried it. i don't think it's particularly healthy but it should be legal. >> i agree. greg: you do not ban something because you do not like it because then there would be nothing. thank you. someone said well said into my ear. [applause] thank you, everybody. coming up, will your online presence live on after you (siren wailing) (barry murrey) when you have a really traumatic injury, we have a short amount of time to get our patient to the hospital with good results. we call that the golden hour. evaluating patients remotely is where i think we have a potential to make a difference. (barry murrey) we would save a lot of lives if we could
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greg: for he posted something on social media ask yourself this, do you wanted to live on long after you are dead? and access for others when you are 6 feet under. this is a growing industry, digital immortality, that clicks your social media and some in the place where people can interact with after you have kicked the bucket. that is odd. you are not there and you're still dealing with your online self who, if you're me, was often a jerk. do you want to remember when you
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are a jerk? you know what you were like when you are online and you don't want to remember for it either. like this fellow. amen. tyrus, my worst self is online. >> of course you'll go to me. is this like your computer history or something you posted? greg: stuff you posted. >> okay, i'm cool with that. i don't want tyrus the third be like great grandpa did all that. greg: that is exactly my point. that's why my posts are weightlifting, wrestling, and sitting on here. generic, say stuff. greg: rob, forget about you when you want to see the online account of your ancestors unless they had the internet 200 years
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ago? wouldn't that kill the mystery. >> there making money with ancestry .com. greg: great company. >> i don't want to be the jack ass who said i'm in lederhosen now and i don't have problems in the future because i've hard enough time flying from la and i have a cocktail and i delete a tweet i -- 30 years from now i don't need to see the regular stuff i came up with. >> greg, to go back to your point, i come from what you call a diverse background and if we went back 50 years and some might relatives it would be rough. we will escape and these guys cannot keep us anymore. that's why your kids life is getting [inaudible] we don't want -. greg: it is a fair point. >> i'm just saying. greg: what if we had all the
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online archives of abe lincoln and he turns out it was a real jack ass. >> thank god they didn't have the internet back then. greg: how do we know that? he could have destroyed it before the -- maybe that is why john wilkes booth shot him over the internet. >> i think things are taken out of context. i have three sons and i'm terrified of the stuff they will find out about me and that's a lot on the internet stuff i posted or put in a video and yeah, i think it's horrible that it will live on. greg: you know you would be besmirch perspicuity. kat, there will be no need for parchment because there will be no artifacts and everything -- >> we don't already need parchment.
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[laughter] greg: no, this is the declaration of independence and you'll have the twitter scroll under glass in your museum -- >> and instead of the diaries that the found diaries will be podcasts that you recorded and thought no one would ever listen to playing over and over. i don't understand why anyone would want this. what conversation would you have them question hey, what did you do today? i was charging all day. greg: i understanding having mementos but creating -- what you are talking about is the ultimate effect which is to create a facsimile of you so someone could say hello, kat, how are you and it was like how are you. >> i don't talk like that at all. >> actually. [inaudible conversations] >> what about the partially frozen people. >> oh, i deftly will do that.
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greg: oh, no, you don't want to do that. you want to keep your body intact. if they can create a woolly mammoth from dna you want to stay intact as a court. >> yeah, i'm planning to. greg: but then it doesn't make sense because it could grow from dna then you don't need your body. >> why is it so bad to die and move on -- dam, just let go. [applause] greg: don't go anywhere. kat should be informative i've been a lot of things over the years. your blind spot... your loose satellite dish... the literal deer in the headlights. but it's a new year and i'm making a resolution. no more mayhem. this year i'm everything that helps keep you safe. like the fuzzy, yellow tennis ball dangling from a string. helping make sure you pull the car in far enough... but not too far. ♪
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we know that when you're >> tspending time with thelass grandkids...
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♪ music >> tech: ...every minute counts. and you don't have time for a cracked windshield. that's why at safelite, we'll show you exactly when we'll be there. with a replacement you can trust. all done sir. >> grandpa: looks great! >> tech: thanks for choosing safelite. >> grandpa: thank you! >> child: bye! >> tech: bye! saving you time... so you can keep saving the world. >> kids: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace ♪ greg: time for final thoughts. kat. >> thank you greg. i discovered a amazing website master class .com. amazing videos teaching what they do best. martin scorsese teaches directing, or samuel l jackson teaches acting. i decided i really want to teach my own master class in here is the trailer. >> if you only want to wear your
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real hair and this is not the class for you. but, if you're willing to wear enough makeup to draw a small rat that i could be speaking to you. after taking this class you'll learn not to how be on tv but how to btv. cable news is all about having good reaction basis. let me see your disagreement face. why are you smiling? would tucker carlson smile? [laughter] >> i'm sorry. >> get out. i can't look at you right now. we will tackle all the things you need to know to be at cable news talking head. start every answer with absolute so the host will like you and you get better back. you are only three appearances away from being an expert on
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anything. you can learn to form a strong opinion on any topic in five minutes or less. what do you do at the host asked the question and you don't know the answer? >> answer with a question of your own. if that doesn't work, state of popular conspiracy theory and say, hey, i'm just asking questions. you might find that anyone can do this job. i made a decision that i did not want to die alone in an apartment with my kat. been able to get out of the house to earn money to buy food so i don't die has been an incredible journey and remember, food in the green room is free and unlimited. take as much as you want. [laughter] soup and a person, still soup. i'm kat sims and this is my master class.
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[cheering and applause] greg: you ruined a good purse. >> president trump is back inwad at camp david. he arrived earlier today. he returned from a meeting with top gop congressional leaders at the congressional retreat. they discussed how to advance their agenda a mapped out their strategy for the midterm elections later this year. never far from the surface, the book, firing. welcome to america's headquarters.

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