way. the greg gutfeld show is next. >> i feel bad for you, intelligent people like you and rachel and brian williams and nicole wallace and jean robinson, you all have to sit there and talk about this guy as if he's a president. greg: he'll always be meathead. [cheering and applause] all right. so, you have a choice, do we talk about the state of the union or to talk about the memo

or to look at a video of adorable puppies going down the slide. i joke because you will get all three. [laughter] first, the speech. it had so many high notes that you need a riot carry to sing it. ♪. greg: i don't know how he did that. of course, others thought differently and by others i mean crybaby or chuckle buckets. >> it was ugly and then the appeal to fear mongering. >> he applied and did it deliberately that dreamers are gang members. >> is racist and hate filled words and policies and proposals are still being resisted in the congress. >> a lot of dark talk and manifestations of threat. greg: someone airlifted pilot of the pens, there is a lot of on those floors.

anyway, sour grapes is to be expected. why would you praise your opponent after he wiped the mat with you and that's the problem with these politics even when there's good news country it's been used for the party and there's a lot of good news on jobs, ices, economy all good but we could do better. the democrats remains our. schumer looks like he's the penguin from batman. [laughter] trying to pass a softball sized gallstone. [laughter] and pelosi looks like that gallstones is about to hit her in the mercedes. [laughter] the rest of the democrats all look like they shared the same hemorrhoids. what is the problem? first, that speech wasn't for them. it was for you. i thought it was too long but for you it's not long enough. it's 90 minutes of positivity about this great country after

eight years of moaning about america his speech was a water cooler in the desert. for democrats your good news is there bad news but also their bad news is your good news. in the future, here's a handy measurement for success. i call it the pelosi scowl ohmmeter. the more she frowns the more you should smile. [laughter] it this leads me to the memo. week was fraught with anticipation as if the royal family giving birth to a panda. the nation wanted answers and their first cannot be quenched until they heard this command. >> believes the memo. [laughter] greg: good work they are dubbing. finally it was released and became the super bowl for nerds.

if it's true, the dossier was put together by crystal still by the funding of fusion gps and the democrats. then they played up to media outlets and the justice department asked for surveillance weren't but according to the memo the application did disclose the role of the dnc or clinton campaign in funding the dossier. the memo also plays a former fbi deputy director andrew mccabe wouldn't have stopped weren't without this dossier. maybe it's me but this has clinton stink all over it. all roads lead back to the perv and the pantsuit. [laughter] sound like a good tv series. i wonder if trump thanks it is disgraceful. >> i think it's terrible if you want to know the truth. i think it's a disgrace was going on in this country. i think it's a disgrace. the memo was sent to congress and declassified in congress will do whatever they're going

to do but i think it's a disgrace. greg: i think it's a disgrace. [laughter] but he is right. the dems want to nail trump so badly they were willing to use an unfettered hypo partisan dossier to do it. they use this dossier to get a warrant that's like me using monopoly money to buy a horse. we spent the last year here in occlusion between trump and russia and all along the real collusion was committed by the perpetrators of that narrative. the media, democrats and their government allies. this will mess is brought to you by the same people that is not cool, right, adorable puppies going on his life? >> good puppies. good job. can you do it? gay. come on puppies. puppy, puppy. greg: i told you there would be puppies. [cheering and applause] let us look at tonight's guest,

he had no qualms defusing bombs is former us marine bomb technician staff sergeant joey joe. [cheering and applause] and another hero his jokes are drier than powdered milk. writer and comedian david angelo. [cheering and applause] and the real hero, if you can't handle her smirk then you're probably a jerk, national review reporter kat sims. [cheering and applause] finally, the jolly green giant sent and help mail former bodyguard, nasa psychotic tyrus. [cheering and applause] all right, joey, you got the state of the union and take your pick and run with it. >> it's the state of the union that was forever ago. i sent her to state of the union

addresses, 2011 and 2013 and the two-party came to be and we all had these pumpkin congressman and obama was really good at saying things like you should pay more taxes than you should select pay our fair share so you see the republican congressmen going like you know they're eager to clap but they needed baynard to tell them what to do. democrats won it with this game plan that is much easier. let's sit this one out and let sit there and leave it alone so to see them sit there and do the things he pointed out trump wrote a speech that dared them not to celebrate this country they didn't do it. greg: he said it's a trap and if you're not in this then he set up these little minefields and they just said well that's a terrible metaphor. >> i love it. i love it.

i've batting 900 mine so i had one bad day. greg: one bad day, joey. >> i've got a leg up on your two. greg: terrible. david, what about the memo? >> the memo was good but we all kind of wanted more out of the memo. i feel like it didn't give enough secrets. i feel like they should just open this mcafee of the tsa project they should just let you in the fault for an hour. here's the thing. the memo i already knew. let's show the. can we show that? this is from march 2017. greg: this is you. >> i can't read it. it's too far away. greg: [cheering and applause] >> the most trusted names in this. greg: you are like a psychic with really interesting glasses.

speaking of interesting glasses, cat, what would you like to talk about. would you like to talk about the amazing the speech that trump gave or the groundbreaking earth shattering memo? >> oh my god. talk about the memo but i'm really glad that i'm a wizardly that i want to see all the things the fbi does not want me to see, one 100%. i think we need to take a look at how this is able to happen in the first place and look at reforming this entire area of government when we take the fourth amendment seriously so it's not so easy to surveilled american citizens. greg: i will agree with you. [cheering and applause] that's the thing that bothers me. anyone can create a questionable dossier about my life and i might not be questionable, might not be questionable, those two

years anyway, tyrus, thoughts on the memo? >> thoughts on your dossier, yes. there is no unicorn, kids. [laughter] greg: it was a donkey just as a unicorn. [laughter] greg: so, you know what, here's my frustration this week. i thought the state of the union was very good. i thought it's always good to hear positive things about our country because we don't hear enough about it. [applause] i was looking for one thing and i thought maybe it would be in structure that was going to bring the sides together or start some dialogue because after the state of the union was over those of us who love trump still of trump and those of us hate him and blame him for everything in the entire world that's going wrong they still hate him. to tighten the memo was the same thing. if you don't like the russian investigation and if you have issues with the left, you will support the memo. if you love trump, that's what

we needed but my issue that is page, that's the guy? every group has one and we have him. and that dude and then when he tweet and then no, this does mean and the only thing i don't want to hear more from pages crews. those of the two guys i don't want to hear from and i keep waiting for something that is going to start bringing us together and i feel like the division lines keep trying in the sand and there's no middle ground. my book i kept thinking i'm working on a book that's like living in the great divide. it's belmonts, no, it's about walking to my neighborhood because i walk through liberal i'll get to that and if i walk by conservative i get cheered. it's crazy how divided we are. greg: that's why you walk on the conservative side. you know what could unite us all? besides alcohol, russians. they played on america's key attribute which is not a key

attribute but a consequence the politics of binary system. they play both sides. they played the democrats and took money from the democrats replaced the republicans to create disruption. it works. >> i thank you just nailed it. our arrogance is that we had to be in on it and that's the ironic. we were in on it. greg: yeah, all right, we're so much more to tal you won't see these folks at the post office. they have businesses to run. they have passions to pursue. how do they avoid trips to the post office? stamps.com mail letters, ship packages, all the services of the post office right on your computer. get a 4 week trial, plus $100 in extras including postage and a digital scale. go to stamps.com/tv and never go to the post office again.

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greg: be very afraid of his barricade. sources tell fox news that i am very attractive but also prototypes for trumps proposed border wall or virtually impossible. it's true, series of tests conducted on the wall samples so they could withstand porches, jackhammers and saws. better than the barriers on the border now and all but one were impossible to get over that it was this one.

greg: that is teaching them a terrible us. critics have called trump small proposal everything from irresponsible to stupid but there is logic behind all the new wall will be used. >> based on topography and budget each quarter sector will extend an existing fence, replace an old fence or add a secondary wall allowing agents to apprehend immigrants in an enforcement zone. greg: it's a trick wall. if the secondary wall. but there's a fence on the border already yet liberals always forget that part they act like trumps the first person to come up with this amazing idea. basically, trumps wall is a new and improved version of something that is already there and yet it doesn't have bipartisan support. maybe trump does has to sell it better. >> are you ready for the most radical international border feature since niagara falls?

you will love border wall 2000. it's the ultimate multipurpose wall everyone can enjoy. need a site for the x games? it converts to a half bite. wish you could see bob ross' landscape on display? and the best part of border wall 2000 is it's been certified unbreakable by the kool-aid man. more like vote no, the 21st hundred visitors will ride on the first space escalator to the moon. greg: that is what we need. david, thoughts on the wall? >> oh boy. how long will it take and aren't we on the cusp of flying cars? not that i want to be like but it's 2018. that's the one concern i have. greg: it won't be a flying car

but a drone that can carry a human that will pick you up annual flyover. [laughter] at least the little children is easier to drown, i've heard, i have not tried that, kat. kat, thoughts? are you excited? an impenetrable wall to you would like that around you. >> i live that with around me emotionally. [laughter] i think that a better way to go about it to end the welfare incentive and end the drug war to keep the gangs from coming over here. that way we wouldn't need to spend tens of billions of dollars on a wall and i know that's not a popular opinion but it's not a joke but that's what i really think it sometimes that is how life goes. greg: will you cry? >> not right now, i'll wait until after the show. >> she is a crying corner in the back. greg: tyrus, i look at this deal

and the democrats are ignoring the fact that they one on this. they're getting at one point to million or even more people that will be through the path of citizenship. >> he was called the amnesty don and he took a lot of shots for trying to make a deal but they don't want to deal with him. it doesn't matter if everyone got a past they would've found something wrong with it. it wasn't a joke because i agree with everything one 100% that you said but the idea of being there to see someone -- oh my god. but the one was shorter so the hop over and you made it in like that's that's pretty funny. i hadn't seen that type of artwork since the classes in high school. merge this way or the red highway will. greg: i learned so much. joey, what you think?

>> listen, i think trumps all the small and he was elected from this wall so we won't build a wall that we can reconcile that with his boating popular. the american people elected him and his will was his biggest talking point. with that said they're happy about having money in their pocket right now so ever is going to go a different direction now is the time and do it by the time democrats have potential to be almost incapable to work with so it will be something other than what he's promised now is the time to do it with a deal. as far as the whole issue in general, i grew up in a town 75% hispanic i see both sides of the issue from a personal standpoint. if you're going to do anything have the pics the immigration system but we have to have some security measure like had said. at the incentive that is not there. we have to stop people wanting to come here and the idea that it's a free ride when you get here. greg: i think hollywood is that. >> oh sure. greg: i do think no matter what

trouble build this wall and even if you don't use it it's going to be somewhere in new jersey. it's like you know what it is? this is his obamacare. think about that. once obamacare came into being the other side wanted to dismantle it so once he puts this wall of you will have an entire party that will in their slogan will be tear down this wall and then it will be a very good slogan but the problem is it could be that the wall works and then they will not want to tear down the wall or to be two-tier hard to tear down. >> i think kat hit on a big thing. sometimes walls can be built and they're not physical. making it hard harder to get eligible for welfare and food stamps and it takes away from american citizens in need. i had a discussion with some people this weekend one of the ladies of the hardest thing is

she a two young children and when she went to go get services that she needed they were very rude to the english-speaking ones and they were like it's not for you and you have to wait but when the people and immigrants came and they had all their stuff for them and they had a translator for them and all these other things for them. she was almost being steered out like we don't do that here. it's this double standard and if you come here illegal you shouldn't get any those to be reserved for our citizens. greg: no countries. we have to move on. [cheering and applause] everybody, everyone deserves a chance at

[♪] alicia: live from america temperatures news headquarters, i'm alicia acuna. trump nominated white in october but the senate did not move on her confirmation. white often criticized the work much mainstream clue map the scientists and opposed efforts to limit water usage. the 440 million dollar ship is named for the hometown of

nebraska billionaire warren buffet. his daughter was designated the ship's official sponsor. i'm alicia acuna. virus. the doctors and how the pressures and say it is still the best defense. flu shot is recommended for everyone six months and older. the man behind hawaii's pulse was alert is speaking out. he says he thought it was a real attack and not a drill. he says the on-duty call that came in on january 13 did not sound like a drill. i'm alicia, now back to the greg gutfeld show. greg: should he recant his stupid rant? i speak of california high school teacher and city councilman greg. [crowd boos] i was just going to call him [bleep]. why not? it's easy. as you know, this jerk was caught on tape bashing the military and vanished into a tirade because two kids in the history class were wearing marine corps such as. roll it, gladys.

>> [inaudible] greg: the sky. [crowd boos] and i already called him a [bleep]. i can't do it again. anyway, someone called for his inspiring but the best response may have been from retired four-star general and chief of staff, john kelly. >> what is your reaction to that knowing that he's teaching 17 euros this? >> i think the guy ought to go to hell. [cheering and applause] greg: he's been placed on administrative leave and they say he will be have disciplinary measures taken. i have an idea for his punishment.

they can watch this on loop for eternity. [laughter] greg: i don't thank you deserve that. joey, i go to you first for no particular reason. [laughter] >> i'm not sure about this guy. of all the things he said the worst thing was when he said they don't make [inaudible] decisions. we don't always make the best decisions at 2:00 o'clock in florida in florida and now i have a nine -year-old son so you know what i'm saying. really, this made me so mad. the premise that he's working on here is that the military is undereducated and he's talking to high school students and you only go there if you don't do well here. that premise is completely false. not only is he stupid but he's spreading lies. i'd love to meet the marines

that took his girlfriend because this is coming from somewhere personal. [cheering and applause] here's the deal. almost 90% of the military have a high school education as opposed to less than 60% of civilians. almost over 80% of officers have a four year degree or higher and then 30% of the philippines. that's fact and data. then, i don't know. >> oh you know, say it. >> this guy has been a mayor, city councilman and a teacher. i'm qualified to do all of those things. he could not be a united states marine is the only thing he wanted in life and that's where i started my career. to go after the education or our motivation, people believe in something bigger themselves. they want to contribute to something that might take their life or their legs, oh my god, they're the lowest of the low but listen, dude, i challenge him to a physical contest with

the one limb i still have intact. [cheering and applause] greg: tyrus mark i think he felt he could say this because he doesn't know anybody so cocooned in his own world. >> for small, i have to disagree. he didn't have a. you said. that's a whole different anger. another thing is on his moral high ground, does it get cold up there? i think this is the problem and i'm going on a limb here but i'm assuming he's a democrat in the liberal. [laughter] i'm just guessing. for the people but he loves to [bleep] the people so he is literally the reason why they can't win in office. is this type of mindset. he thanks you're doing him a favor and he makes as a teacher makes anywhere from 30-and judging by the way history and responded to speech, probably on the lower end. he probably has to get a part-time job in the summertime to supplement his income.

i graduated as a teacher and i said i'm in a try something else. it's not to talk with the military and one of the reasons they go to the military is to further their education. his entire rant was his moral high ground and his horse because he didn't have the [bleep] to go pick up a gun independent country. [applause] greg: what about you, david? i think he should get his job back on one condition that he spends a year embedded somewhere. imagine he would get learning experience. >> they should have one battalion that just festers an and -- [inaudible conversations] this guy, look, i didn't during the military because i know i'm too much of a loser. (. greg: i would not last.

i'd be home on the bus in the second day. what about you, kat? >> i love that he's saying people in the military are dumb when he's making these kind of comments in a room full of recording devices and i mean this guy would be drunk to stand up there and say your uncle louie is stupid. they're getting paid to be a teacher and i have seen a better thought out lesson plan by jack black in school of rock as a substitute teacher. greg: i have to wrap it up. the bigger lesson is schools fail to accept life experiencing with their hiring teachers. this guy obviously nobody knows nobody in the military and says he is no life experience because everyone here for someone in the military so his self involved [bleep] will kill education. a typical veteran would give more knowledge to kids that i know nothing, jerk like that.

i would also include not just school but in networks as well. places like fox news and places like cnn need to hire people like joey because they have more knowledge. [cheering and applause] and avoid people like david angela. of next, conservatives are better looking than liberals. better looking than liberals. hey! we didn't have a homeowners claim last year better looking than liberals. so allstate is giving us money back on our bill. well, that seems fair. we didn't use it. wish we got money back on gym memberships. get money back hilarious. with claim-free rewards. switching to allstate is worth it.

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theseare heading back home.y oil thanks to dawn, rescue workers only trust dawn, because it's tough on grease yet gentle. i am home, i am home, i am home greg: are those who leave right a more pleasant site? a new study says that for rebecca republicans are -- here's a montage of incredible sexy republicans.

♪. greg: that is delicious. here is the where researchers are full of poop. they concluded that because life can be easier for good-looking people they get more credit than they deserve and their blind to the struggles of others and that makes them lean away from liberal policies like more government aid. explain these egghead quotes not having faced challenges of other citizens more attractive individuals should be less supportive of remedying these challenges for the general public. we asked the world's most handsome man to comment. [laughter] greg: sexy.

tyrus? you buy this? >> know and that's not the reason why good-looking people don't help because they deal with the haters. when they get successful why would they get back, screw them. haters are going to hate. this is the second week in a row we've had these scientific things on who is good-looking and who can be a kid longer and who is doing this? we're not paying for this from our tax dollars are we? i hate it. it drives me nuts that you generalize people. if someone is good-looking, usually at the people who are very attractive get picked on the most because they always you'll see a beautiful girl and she'll talk about in high school how they pulled her hair and everyone is mean because she was pretty. greg: they are lying. i was bullied, no, everyone was bullied. they were probably the bullies. mean girls, didn't you see the movie? kat, due by this? >> i'm not sure i'm qualified to comment on this study because i

don't think i know how to tell if someone is hot or not. i'll be out with my friends and i'll be like that guy is and they'll say yeah, kat, he's asking for change. he doesn't have a home. [laughter] and i'm like i can change him. come over. greg: you will change them because he's defecating on the sidewalk. joey? >> in this day and age attractiveness is how hard you work for it. are you doing crossfit or what are you doing and it makes sense to me in the sense that if your personality is to wait on the government or got to bestow gifts upon you you may be liberal and ugly but if you work for it, we are conservatives and we get worked on. [cheering and applause] no offense and i didn't mean to figure you in that one getting work done. greg: david, you are slightly sweaty. >> thank you, greg, i appreciate it.

[laughter] you know, i don't think liberals are necessarily uglier but it's the expressions. you'll never, are you serious? conservatives don't do that. you cannot be -- [laughter] it's like a liberal expression. greg: that the liberal expression. >> i've seen it at starbucks so many times. greg: i do think part of this is true in the other part is false. it is true that good-looking people benefit from society more often than the plane because they're afforded more opportunities because human beings gravitate toward good-looking people. good-looking people don't have to try so hard. good looks is a commodity. this is why whenever you see public nudity of a really good looking person it's weird because you're thinking why are you giving that away and that's only -- usually new to scams are not attractive. no one is asking for it so i

said this before there's no activist group the plane or ugly. there's no martin luther king for the plane, no gondi for the ugly but it is inequality. conservative people do get something. they do understand it but they see the suffering as a individual challenge not as something the government should be trying to fix or government it should not be totally governmental. all right. i'll take that. [applause] i love this next story.

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greg: will killer whales are telling tales and can and orca talk to sebastian? [laughter] researchers say they've taught a whale named wiki to imitate human speech and have recordings of the whale saying phrases like hello. >> hello. >> hello. >> hello. >> hello. greg: that doesn't sound like hello to me.

let's try another one. let's all listen very carefully. here's the researcher getting the whales to say one, 21, two. >> one, two. >> one, two. greg: i think the whale went to number two. this is a little more confident and it's a proper name and now listen carefully. here's the trainer and the whale saying amy. >> amy. >> amy. >> amy. greg: that was creepy. how is that amy? all in all i am not impressed that talking whale. especially since my will, lawrence, can recite shakespea shakespeare. >> greg, i've played your game. give me a fish.

[laughter] greg: stupid whale. kat, i think whales are depressing animal because you are a mammal but you don't have any limbs and you're also a fish but you need to be there so you're not in both worlds and it's kind of sad. >> it seems all right. greg: yeah, all right. >> i think that assaying these wheels can talk is a big stret stretch. they can say i and they can blow raspberries and they can say by. they swim up and go and then they swim away. i want a conversation like that i call up my ex-boyfriend. greg: david, are we giving whales more human credit than they deserve? they can't even open a jar of pickles. >> i bet one could. greg: with what? >> i don't, i'm suspicious of these things.

i don't like the trend of them learning language. we don't need more opinions in the world. you know what i mean? they will have a yelp account and it's like i came to the grill and i'm so excited and disappointed. greg: i'm giving the pacific ocean three stars. [laughter] >> yeah, and aren't [inaudible] better than that but. greg: parents. >> parents. they're too repetitious. and they're always staring at you when you do stuff and when you kill people. [laughter] greg: carrots are a great witness to crimes, joey. joey, if they were really smart why did they invent anything? they have these big brains but there's no will bike, you know, there's a whale industrial

revolution. >> maybe it's a dolphin but they called a whale that is a giant sonar on its head and they have one in atlanta at the aquarium that's impressive. this whole story ticks me off. i have a friend she and i can't tell what teach my veggie what part of the grass you should be upon and now a whale can talk and my dog can't figure out where to put. it gets me that i don't how to teach my dog what to do. greg: maybe you should get a whale. [laughter] all right, tyrus, i have a feeling you love the story. >> after hearing you, i hate you for being a part of the story. you don't know nothing about whales. once again, this goes to the arrogance of science. killer whales speak three languages. they have their own language. they also have the ability to feel each other's feelings. they are so far ahead of us in terms of medication the fact that you would try to take something that basically does not have our windpipe cannot

speak the way and can mimic our sound shows how smart they are and how stupid we are. they don't make bikes, greg, because they don't have to. they map the ocean with their brain. their only problem is they have meddling people in smart asses like you who make fun of their greatness. this was a great story and you should be ashamed of yourself. [applause] blue planet to just came out. i love that series and i'm enjoying it. they have this great scene where the dolphins were running and there's this giant false killer whale and greg you don't know what this is so don't laugh but were chasing them in the dolphins turn around and they talk it out. they literally stopped getting more and talked it out and fished together. greg: imparting human behavior on the slippery creatures is -- >> they talk to each other. >> they have babies and stuff.

greg: they are in the ocean for a reason. they didn't evolve. >> yeah, they evolve there. greg: no, they didn't. [laughter] you just like them because you are big and they are big. >> that's it. that's it. and you like unicorns because their tall and slender. [laughter] greg: don't go anywhere. don't laugh at that. all right. more after this, i believe. more after this, i believe. [cheering and applause] so from the two trucks over here... i want you to pick a new truck for your mom or dad, knowing that they could possibly pass it down to you one day. oh. cool. but before you decide, you should know that chevy silverados are the most dependable, longest lasting full-size pickups on the road. which means that ford f-150s are not. (giggles) which truck would you pick? the chevy. there you go. boom. that was obvious. plus it looks cooler. no doubt about it. now they know what to get me.

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here's something you should know. there's a serious virus out there that 1 in 30 boomers has, yet most don't even know it. a virus that's been almost forgotten. it's hepatitis c. hep c can hide in the body for years without symptoms. left untreated it can lead to liver damage, even liver cancer. the only way to know if you have hep c is to ask your healthcare provider for the simple blood test. if you have hep c, it can be cured. for us, it's time to get tested. it's the only way to know for sure. greg: last word for everyone. you can talk about the super bowl if you have predictions or plug something for joey, go. >> i work for a place called campus of the ground, celebrity background started and we bring in kids in the autism spectrum

and put them with kids who aren't in the autism spectrum and allow them to go to camp together and learn how amazing each one is. these kids have challenges can contribute to society and be amazing people. go home and hear about this and talk to your kids and tell them about how amazing this country is in the people who live in it acceptable for the they are and expect the most out of them. [cheering and applause] greg: all right. david, what uplifting thing can you match? >> i have nothing that whispered president trump, if you're watching, i'd love to ride on air force one. i'll say hi to my friends, dan and margo. greg: pulled on her tyrus. >> i'm excited because the go, i'm looking for brady and my squad to repeat. [applause] and i'm calling 34-13, patriots in a walkway. greg: last word, kat. >> i don't care about the fall which is why i actually love days of important games because

they're the only ones where i feel less emotional than other people. [applause] greg: all right. thanks to staff sergeant joey joe, david angelo, captives in i teach you so much. happy super bowl watching. jesse: welcome to "watters world." i'm jesse watters. the waiting game is over. a memo alleging abuses against the trump campaign has been released. the fbi and doj would not have secured surveillance warrants on the strum campaign without the christopher steele dossier. steele briefed several media outlets including the "new york times" and "the washington post." he continued t